Podcast
Flying Free
Hosted by Natalie Hoffman · EN
Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get help from her equally abusive church environment, she is betrayed and re-abused. Flying Free offers a Christ-centered, gospel-oriented perspective on domestic abuse that protects and honors the voices and autonomy of women. Tune in each week to hear conversations with emotional abuse advocates and fellow survivors who will walk with you on your journey up and out. We hear you. You are not alone. Learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
28episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Trusting What You Know is True When Others Gaslight You - High Functioning Women Series Part Three [376]
3w ago00:33:52Tap to summarizeThis is Part Three of our series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. You are the woman people call when something complicated needs solving. You read rooms, spot patterns, and get it right. And yet in this one area of your life, you have been told that your judgment, specifically, cannot be trusted.Key Takeaways:Why the very perceptiveness that makes you exceptional everywhere else has been deliberately turned off in your marriageWhat is actually happening when religious systems tell you to wait, and who is really benefiting from your patienceHow to tell the difference between genuine knowing and fear, and which one you have most likely been carrying all these yearsWhat "blind adherence" has to do with faith, and why the real version of faith might look completely different than what you have been taughtThe one question that changes everything when someone tells you to wait a little longerGet Today’s Free Resource:🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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Why Your Empathy is a Superpower (and a TARGET!) - High Functioning Women Series Part Two [375]
Apr 2800:29:13Tap to summarizeThis is Part Two of my series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. In Part One, we explored how the very qualities that make these women extraordinary are the same ones that make them exceptionally vulnerable. Today we're going deeper into one of the most specific and targeted of those qualities: empathy.If you've ever felt like your compassion is working against you, like the more you understand him, the more stuck you become, this episode will show you exactly what's happening underneath that cycle. And it will start to give you a way out.🔑 Key Takeaways:Why does understanding his pain seem to pull you closer to danger instead of toward safety? The answer will reframe everything you thought you knew about your own compassion.There's a biological metaphor in this episode that explains precisely how your God-given empathy gets hijacked, and once you see it, you cannot unsee it.What does a "scapegoat" have to do with your marriage? Natalie unpacks a family systems concept that might explain why you always end up holding everyone else's chaos.There's a trap that was specifically designed to make every exit feel impossible. Natalie names it, and then shows you the crack in the wall.What's the difference between empathy and enabling, and why does that distinction change everything about how you move forward? The answer might surprise you.Get Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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The Loneliness of the "Perfect" High Functioning Woman - High Functioning Women Series Part One [374]
Apr 700:23:21Tap to summarizeSo many capable, gifted Christian women are living a double life that is impressive in public, but diminished in private, and they don't even have words for what's happening to them. This episode will change that.🔑 Key Takeaways:There's a specific kind of loneliness that has nothing to do with being sad, and it's far more common among high-functioning Christian womenThe reason you can run a business, lead a ministry, and hold everything together but still feel like no one actually knows youWhy the very things people praise you for might be the things that are slowly killing youWhat's really happening in your body when you live this way, and why it's not a spiritual problemGet Today’s Free Resource:🧐 I wrote a book just for high functioning Christian women called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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From Deconstructing to Reconstructing: Finding Wonder Again [373]
Mar 3101:02:57Tap to summarizeThis is one of my favorite interviews! Today I’m talking with my friend, Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks, author of Gaslighted by God, Holy Ghosted, and her brand-new book, To Rebehold the Stars: Reimagining Faith After Deconstruction.If you've walked through the painful process of deconstructing the toxic theology you inherited, this conversation is going to knock your socks off. Drawing from Dante's Inferno (I know, right?!), classical literature, and deep theological study, Tiffany shows you how to create a new spiritual lexicon that actually reflects the heart of God.(Listen to find out what that even is!)This isn't about burning it all down. It's about holding up each piece to the light and deciding: Does this stay or go?🔑 Key Takeaways:The one thing fundamentalism can't tolerate (and why that's actually your doorway to freedom)What Dante's Inferno has to do with your faith journey, and why the final line matters so muchThe Greek word that completely reframes what forgiveness actually meansWhy the images you were given for God might be keeping you stuck in an outdated scriptWhat happens when you stop trying to be perfect and start focusing on being goodResources mentioned: 📰 Tiffany’s Substack Newsletter (but only if you like to laugh - otherwise stay away)📚 Her new book: To Rebehold the Stars: Reimagining Faith After Deconstruction.🎧 Her OTHER interviews with me (all AMAZEBALLS): Confronting Religious TraumaOvercoming Spiritual Anxiety 👹 The book Dr. Brooks copy-edited for me AND that is a perfect illustration of what her book Holy Ghosted is talking about: All the Scary Little Gods🆓 And hey - listen to my book FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com!Tiffany Yecke Brooks is the lead or contributing writer on more than two dozen books, including multiple New York Times bestsellers. She is the coauthor of Fear Is a Choice: Tackling Life’s Challenges With Dignity, Faith, and Determination (with NFL running back James Conner), Limitless: The Power of Hope and Resilience to Overcome Circumstance (with Paralympic gold-medalist Mallory Weggemann), and the narrative nonfiction historical thriller Espionage and Enslavement in the Revolution: The True Story of Robert Townsend and Elizabeth (with historian Claire Bellerjeau). Her newest book, To Rebehold the Stars: Reimagining Faith After Deconstruction, was released in March 2026 by Eerdmans. She has also published articles in peer-reviewed journals and the Smithsonian. Tiffany holds a PhD from Florida State University, where her dissertation covered, in part, cultural adaptations of stories from the book of Genesis, and an MA from the University of Bristol in the UK, where her thesis examined cultural influences and literary techniques in the Gospel of Luke. A popular speaker for student groups, faith conferences, and academic lectureships, Tiffany has taught literature and writing at Abilene Christian University, McMurry University, and the University of South Carolina – Beaufort.
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Why Do Your Friends Believe the Person Who Abused You? [372]
Mar 2400:21:58Tap to summarizeWhat happens when seeing your ex derails all your progress? And why do your friends think he's such a great guy when you know the truth?🔑 Key Takeaways:Why seeing your ex after months can feel like all your progress disappeared (it didn't)What trauma bonding actually does to your memory of the relationshipWhy emotionally abusive people seem so great to everyone elseThe false equivalency that keeps people from believing abuse survivorsHow to know if you're lonely for him or for something else entirely🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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Navigating Discard, Revenge, and Unsupportive Friends [371]
Mar 1700:23:15Tap to summarizeIn this episode we tackle three questions: What happens when the abuser is the one who leaves? How do you live with the fear of post-separation or post-divorce revenge? And what do you do when your friends just don't get it?🔑 Key Takeaways:Why some abusers discard their victims (and what it reveals about your progress)The difference between fear you should listen to and fear that steals your peaceWhat actually helps kids navigate their father leavingThe one question to ask yourself when trying to help someone understand your experienceWhy chasing validation from people who don't get it creates unnecessary sufferingGet Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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How My Word for 2026 is Playing Out So Far (personal message) [370]
Mar 1000:19:30Tap to summarizeThis isn't my typical podcast episode. Today I get personal, sharing why I’ve decided to pursue graduate studies in theology after experiencing profound spiritual abuse throughout my entire life. If you've read All the Scary Little Gods, you know my story, and you might be wondering why I’d ever step back into that world.I invite you into my journey of healing, my commitment to simplicity in 2026, and the real reason I keep this podcast free. Get Today’s Free Resource:🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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If It’s Not "Narcissism," What Is It? (The Answer) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Four [369]
Mar 300:15:29Tap to summarizeIn Episode 369 of the Flying Free Podcast, you’ll learn a term that's more accurate than "narcissistic abuse,” and it's actually being recognized in courts of law. This is part four of The Narcissism Trap Series, and it shifts everything from trying to diagnose your partner to recognizing what's really happening to you.If you've been stuck wondering whether he meets the clinical criteria for narcissism or whether therapy could change him, this episode will free you from that trap. Natalie breaks down coercive control—what sociologist Evan Stark calls a "liberty crime"—and why understanding this pattern matters more than any personality disorder diagnosis ever could.🔑 Key Takeaways:Why sociologist Evan Stark calls coercive control a "liberty crime" (and what that means for you)The calculated reason behind those "small" controlling acts that don't seem like abuseWhat happens in your brain when you start to self-police your own thoughts and feelingsWhy England made this a criminal offense in 2015 (and which U.S. states are following)The internal checkpoint questions that reveal if you're living in coercive control right nowGet Today’s Free Resource:🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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Why Your Lawyer Cringes When You Say “Narcissist” - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Three [368]
Feb 2400:22:15Tap to summarizeIn this third episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we shift from personal validation to legal strategy, exploring why the very word that brought you clarity could be the thing that sinks your court case. We’ll look at how judges actually view labels like "narcissist" and why focusing on clinical diagnoses can unintentionally dilute accountability and hand a "gift" to your ex’s legal team.🎯 Key Takeaways:The label that saved your sanity might lose you your case. While identifying narcissistic patterns is vital for your personal healing, using that language in a courtroom often leads judges to label you as "high conflict" rather than a victim of abuse. Judges don't care about "psychobabble"; they care about concrete behaviors. An armchair diagnosis of NPD carries no weight in family court. To get the court's attention, you must swap labels for facts, like financial lockout, surveillance, and threats. Calling it a "sickness" can accidentally excuse the harm. If you frame his behavior as a mental illness he "can't help," you invite the court to suggest treatment instead of accountability. In reality, his actions are often calculated, strategic choices, not symptoms of a disordered brain. There is a more powerful legal framework: Coercive Control. While the court may ignore "narcissism," they are primed to hear about patterns of isolation, degradation, and entrapment. This shift moves the focus from who he is to what he does, which is a language the law is beginning to criminalize. Deep-diving into his psychology keeps you stuck. Spending years analyzing his "damaged inner self" or "Dark Triad" traits prevents you from the real work of safety planning and documenting the behavior that matters for your future. You don’t need a diagnosis to justify seeking safety. You cannot heal from a diagnosis; you heal from harm. Stop waiting for professional validation or a formal evaluation that will likely never come, and start tracking the ongoing patterns of intimidation and control. Get Today’s Free Resource:🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.
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Narcissist? Or Just Plain Evil? (Know the Difference!) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Two [367]
Feb 1700:31:40Tap to summarizeIn this second episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we open up the DSM-5 and walk through the actual clinical criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder but with a crucial twist.🎯 Key Takeaways:The diagnosis you're hunting for might be the least of your problems. Even if your partner doesn't meet all nine DSM-5 criteria for NPD, you can still be experiencing serious harm in your relationship.Everyone has narcissistic traits, but it's about pattern, pervasiveness, and pathology. The difference between normal self-esteem and a personality disorder comes down to whether the behavior is consistent, shows up everywhere, and causes real damage.Not all narcissists look the same. Grandiose narcissists bulldoze you with charm and dominance. Vulnerable narcissists guilt-trip you with sensitivity and victimhood. Both cause devastation.You're likely dealing with coercive control, not just a difficult personality. This systematic pattern of isolation, gaslighting, financial control, and micro-regulation is psychological warfare, and it's actually a criminal offense in some countries.The label matters less than the behavior. Whether he's a clinical narcissist, has traits from the Dark Triad, or is just plain abusive, what matters is the harm you're experiencing, and you don't need a diagnosis to know it's not okay.Stop waiting for him to be diagnosed. Narcissistic traits are "ego-syntonic” which means he sees them as strengths, not problems. He'll never walk into a therapist's office asking for help, which means you can't wait for professional validation to seek safety.Get Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.🦋 Join me and hundreds of other Christian women for the transformation of your life inside the Flying Free Kaleidoscope! Learn more at joinflyingfree.com
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