Building the Bridge to Forgiveness (Part 2 of 2)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly – "Building the Bridge to Forgiveness (Part 2 of 2)"

Episode Information:

• Title: Building the Bridge to Forgiveness (Part 2 of 2)
• Release Date: June 19, 2025
• Hosts: Jim Daly and John Fuller
• Guest: Dr. Gary Chapman, Author of The Five Apology Languages

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Introduction to Forgiveness and Reconciliation

In the second part of the two-part series, hosts Jim Daly and John Fuller delve deeper into the theme of forgiveness within family relationships, guided by insights from Dr. Gary Chapman. Building on the foundational concepts discussed in the first installment, this episode emphasizes the active role individuals must take to dismantle barriers of resentment and bitterness in their relationships.

Jim Daly opens the conversation by summarizing the previous episode:

“Gary explained that when we extend forgiveness, we are helping to tear down the wall of bitterness and resentment that can grow up between us and the person who wronged us.” (01:23)

Core Concepts: Tearing Down the Walls of Bitterness

Dr. Gary Chapman lays out a systematic approach to reconciliation, centered on self-examination and confession. He outlines three pivotal steps to "tear the wall down on your side," fostering an environment where forgiveness can thrive.

1. Identify Your Own Failures

   • Dr. Gary Chapman: “There are long, thick, high walls that exist between the people involved... they are erected one stone at a time.” (02:16)

2. Confess to God

   • Carolyn Chapman: “We have to get them on the front burner. Now, how do you do that? I suggest prayer. Prayer.” (04:14)
   • Dr. Gary Chapman: “Confession agrees that it is wrong... Paul says, I'm committed to living with an empty conscience toward God and toward men.” (04:53)

3. Confess to the Other Person

   • Dr. Gary Chapman: “Confession to the person I sinned against.” (05:16)
   • Carolyn Chapman: “We are suggesting that people get along.” (05:24)

These steps are designed to shift the focus from blaming others to acknowledging one's own shortcomings, thereby creating a foundation for genuine forgiveness and healing.

Personal Illustrations: Dr. Chapman's Journey Toward Forgiveness

Dr. Chapman shares two poignant personal stories that illustrate the transformative power of confession and forgiveness.

Forgiving His Wife Over a Forgotten Anniversary

Dr. Chapman recounts an incident where he forgot to call his wife on their anniversary:

“I ran across the road to a little food store and there was a little telephone outside. And so I called her and I said... ‘I forgot to call you yesterday on our anniversary. I am so sorry.’” (14:43)

Despite his wife's immediate verbal forgiveness:

Carolyn Chapman: “She said, Gary, you are forgiven.” (16:02)

Dr. Chapman reflects on the ease and sincerity of his wife's forgiveness, highlighting the strength and resilience it adds to their marriage.

Seeking Forgiveness from His Son After a Confrontation

In another heartfelt example, Dr. Chapman describes a heated exchange with his teenage son, which led to him seeking forgiveness:

“I want you to know that I'm sorry for the way I treated you this morning. I lost my temper and I lashed out at you in anger.” (12:15)

His son’s mature response:

“Father, that wasn't your fault. I ask God to forgive me, and I want to ask you to forgive me.” (19:33)

This moment stands out to Dr. Chapman as both the saddest and happiest night of his life, illustrating the profound impact of mutual forgiveness.

Practical Application: Steps for Listeners

Dr. Chapman challenges listeners to actively apply these principles in their own lives. He offers a clear assignment to facilitate this process:

1. Spend Five Minutes with God:

   • Reflect on the relationship you wish to improve.
   • Ask God to reveal your personal failings within that relationship and write them down. (21:33)

2. Confess to the Other Person:

   • Approach the individual with humility and honesty.
   • Example phrasing: “I’ve been thinking about us. I’ve asked God to show me where I have been failing. I want to ask you to forgive me.” (22:47)

By following these steps, listeners are encouraged to make significant strides toward healing and reconciling their relationships.

Conclusion: Embracing Vulnerability and Forgiveness

Jim Daly and John Fuller commend Dr. Chapman for his transparency and vulnerability in sharing personal struggles, emphasizing that such honesty is crucial for personal growth and relational healing.

Jim Daly:

“Gary is being vulnerable. It's part of the process of sanctification... Gary is a wonderful husband, a wonderful father, and to be honest, I think he's wonderful.” (23:35)

The hosts reiterate the importance of forgiveness as a cornerstone for strong, enduring family relationships. They encourage listeners to utilize provided resources, such as The Five Apology Languages, and to engage with programs like Hope Restored for deeper counseling and support.

John Fuller:

“Such wise words and quite a challenge there from Dr. Gary Chapman on today's episode... I hope God brings someone to mind for you that you can take these steps of forgiveness that Dr. Chapman described for us.” (23:21)

Key Takeaways:

• Self-Examination: Begin the reconciliation process by identifying and confessing your own faults.
• Confession: Engage in sincere confession to both God and the person you’ve wronged.
• Forgiveness: Embracing forgiveness not only frees the recipient but also heals the giver, fostering stronger and healthier relationships.
• Vulnerability: Sharing personal failures can strengthen bonds and enhance mutual respect and understanding.
• Action Steps: Practical exercises, such as dedicating time to prayer and honest communication, are essential for implementing these principles in everyday life.

This episode serves as a powerful guide for Christians seeking to mend and strengthen their familial relationships through the transformative act of forgiveness.

Transcript

[Jim Daly]

God is at work and he's calling his people to rise in truth. Truth Rising is a powerful new documentary from Focus on the Family and the Colson Center. See how ordinary Christians choose courage in a culture that needs truth. Watch Truth Rising starting September 5th and find out how you can be a part of the change and become an agent of restoration. Sign [e-mail] that's truthrising.com today on Focus.

[John Fuller]

On the Family with Jim Daly, Dr. Gary Chapman shares ideas for reconciliation between husbands and wives or parents and children.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

So what are we suggesting to people who want to improve family relationships?

[Carolyn Chapman]

We are suggesting that the place to.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Start is by tearing the wall down on your side.

[John Fuller]

Thanks for joining us. We have some really great strategies for you. And coming up, I'm John Fuller.

[Jim Daly]

John, last time we began a two part message from Dr. Gary Chapman. That's very insightful. And if you missed part one, please get in touch with us. We can send you the entire message on CD or audio download so that you can hear part one or share the two part series with your spouse or maybe a friend. Or you can get the Focus on the Family app for your smartphone. That way you'll never miss an episode.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, you can find all those options. We've got the links in the show.

[Jim Daly]

Notes to give you the gist of what we heard last time. Gary explained that when we extend forgiveness, we are helping to tear down the wall of bitterness and resentment that can grow up between us and the person who wronged us. And even if that other person won't cooperate, we have a responsibility to at least work on our side of the wall. And he's going to give us several examples today.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. And Gary Chapman is the author of a number of best selling books all wrapped around the five Love languages. And he's written one on this topic called the five AP Languages. We have that book here at Focus on the Family and when you request it from us, you'll be helping us do ministry. The proceeds go right back into the work of focus. So here's Dr. Chapman speaking at Moody Bible Institute on today's episode of Focus on the Family. And we'll start with a brief recap.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

There is no question but what many marriages, many families, parent, child relationships, there are long, thick, high walls that exist between the people involved. Now how do walls get erected in relationships? I would suggest that they are erected one stone at a time. And many of your friends now who have been married for five years or 15 or 25, many of your friends now have a Long wall, high and thick. Only now they don't have any love feelings. All they have now is hostility, hurt, anger, bitterness, or just apathy. Just stay away from each other. Just live and let live. Now, when we come to talk about tearing down those walls so that we can begin to rebuild relationships, I want to read you the words of Jesus in Matthew chapter 7, beginning with verse 3. The analogy is different, but the message is very clear. Jesus said, why do you behold the speck that is in your wife's eye, but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye? Or how is it that you will say to your husband, let me pull the speck out of your eye, and behold, there's a beam in your own eye, thou hypocrite.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Jesus said, if you want to improve.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

A relationship, the place you start is by getting the beam out of your own eye. To use my analogy, tearing the wall down on your side, not on their side.

[Carolyn Chapman]

So I want to give you three steps on how to get the beam.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Out of your eye or how to tear the wall down on your side. Number one, identify your own failures. Identify your own failures.

[Carolyn Chapman]

We've got to get them on the front burner. Now, how do you do that? I suggest prayer. Prayer.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Second step. We confess those things to God. Confession to God. Confession says, lord, the way I treated her last night is wrong. The way I have ignored her for three days is wrong. Let alone what she did, that's her problem.

[Carolyn Chapman]

But the way I have responded to her is wrong.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Confession agrees that it is wrong. Now, Paul says, I'm committed to living with an empty conscience toward God and toward men. Now, how do we get an empty conscience toward God? By confession to God. We've just talked about it.

[Carolyn Chapman]

How do I get an empty conscience toward men?

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

By confession to the person I sinned against. And that's the third step, confession to the other person.

[Carolyn Chapman]

We are suggesting that people get along.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

With God and say to God, lord, where am I failing in this relationship? May I give you an illustration out of my own life some years ago.

[Carolyn Chapman]

When our children were still at home.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Before I was as spiritual as I am now.

[Carolyn Chapman]

I got up one morning and I said to my wife, Carolyn, where's my briefcase?

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And she said, gary, I don't know. I haven't seen it.

[Carolyn Chapman]

I said, well, it was in there by the dresser. You must have moved it.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

She said, gary, I haven't seen your briefcase.

[Carolyn Chapman]

I said, carolyn, think I know where the thing was. Who else would have moved it?

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

She said, gary, I haven't seen Your briefcase.

[Carolyn Chapman]

I said, carolyn, go look for the thing. I gotta get these kids to school. I'm already late. And I went on with that thing two or three more rounds. I was screaming at my wife about a briefcase. Can you believe that?

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And I drove from the school to.

[Carolyn Chapman]

The church, thinking to myself, how could I have married such a scatterbrained woman? This time she's lost my briefcase. Everything I own is in my briefcase. How can I make it? Don't know who I'm going to see, what I'm going to do. How can I make it without my briefcase? When I got to my office, I didn't walk in by the secretaries. I went in the back door to my office. Folks, when you have sinned, you don't want to see people. You want to do what Adam and Eve did in the garden, get you a bush and hide behind it and hope God won't see you. I went in the back door to my office, and I opened my door.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And there was my briefcase.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Now I have an option. I can say to myself, I'm not.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Going to let her know it was out here.

[Carolyn Chapman]

And I could hope she would forget the ordeal or I could practice what I preach. And if I had done the former, I obviously would not be using this for an illustration.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

So I said to God, oh, Lord, the way I talk to her is wrong.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Folks, it's a sin to scream at a woman.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Be ye kind one to another.

[Carolyn Chapman]

And screaming at a woman is not kind. I don't care how you slice it. It's a sin to scream at a woman.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Also a sin to scream at a. And I said, oh, Lord, the way I talk to her is wrong. And I want to thank youk for the cross of Christ, and I want to accept yout forgiveness. Folks, you don't have to beg God to forgive you. You just have to confess and accept what he's already done on the cross. But that's only half of it. That's an empty conscience toward God.

[Carolyn Chapman]

There's another half.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

So I called her.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Hi, Babe. Found my briefcase.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

She didn't say anything. She knew there ought to be more to it than that. And so I said to her, the way I. Way I. The way I talked to you this morning, what was wrong?

[Carolyn Chapman]

I didn't say it was easy. Not easy to admit that we're wrong.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And I want to ask you to forgive me. You know what she said?

[Carolyn Chapman]

I thought you'd call.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Why?

[Carolyn Chapman]

Committed to this principle, folks. I wish I were perfect.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

I wish I never sinned against my.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Wife, I wish I were perfect. I'm not. Some people tell me they are. I don't know. I'm not.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

We don't have to be perfect to have good marriages. We do have to deal with our failure. We do have to keep the walls torn down. Now, the same thing is true with our children. I remember one morning I was driving my son to school. I don't remember how old he was, but he was going through that stage where children ask you a question and you give them a good answer, but they don't like your answer, so they.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Ask the same question again. And they don't like that answer, so.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

They ask the same question again.

[Carolyn Chapman]

About the seventh time, he asked me the same question. I lost it. And I reached over and gave it to him, or tried to. He scooted over and almost fell in the crack. And after that, there was a long silence.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And then we got to school. And I said to him, have a good day, Bud. And he said, it'll be hard.

[Carolyn Chapman]

And I drove from the school to the church feeling terrible, terrible. Now, why did I feel so terrible? Because I had just done a terrible thing. Lash out at a kid in anger. I could have killed the kid if I hit him in the right place. When I got to church, I didn't go by the secretaries. Thank God for back doors. I went in the back door to my office and I sat down and I leaned over my desk and I said, oh, God. Oh, God, how could I have done that? With all my education and all my training and all the time I help other people, how could I have done that? And the answer came loud and clear. Because you are a dirty, rotten sinner. That's why you can do it. And don't ever think that you're above anything.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And I said, oh, Lord, it's wrong. It's wrong to lose my temper and lash out at my child is wrong. And I want to thank you for the cross and I want to accept your forgiveness. You know, it even feels better when you confess your sins to God. But that's only half of it. That's an empty conscience toward God. And so I thought, I'm going to go over there and knock on the door and get him out of class and tell him I'm sorry and ask him to forgive me. And I thought, I don't know, Daddy knocking on the door, and all the kids are going to say, what's your daddy doing at school, boy? I don't know. I don't think so. So I called my wife and I said, darling, I said, look, I said, let me pick Derek up today, okay? Our plan was I take him to school, she picks him up in the afternoon. I said, let me pick him up today, okay? She said, well, sure, but why you won't do that? I said, never mind, baby. I said, just let me pick him up. Okay, folks, you don't have to tell.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Your sins to everybody, just the person you sinned against.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And so I picked him up that afternoon and he got in the car and I said to him, I said, derek, I said, son, before we go home, I said, I want to say to you that I'm sorry for the way I treated you this morning. I lost my temper and I lashed out at you in anger. And I want to tell you that fathers should not treat children that way. And I want you to know that was wrong and I'm sorry and I want to ask you to forgive me. You know what he said? Sure, dad. Sure, dad. Children don't have any problem forgiving us.

[Carolyn Chapman]

The problem is with us. We're too hard hearted to acknowledge that we've done wrong. And some of us as parents think that if we acknowledge that we've done wrong to our children, they will lose respect for us. No, the opposite is true. They've already lost respect for you for what you've done. They know you're wrong.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

But when you admit that you're wrong.

[Carolyn Chapman]

And you ask forgiveness, you go up.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

In respect from your children. May I tell you, another failure between myself and my wife. I hate to just give you all my failures. Well, don't worry, it won't be all of them. I was leading a conference a few years ago, mid August, the week that we had our anniversary. So I was in one city and she was at home. The problem was O the block was ooh. The sin was that on the day of our anniversary, I forgot to call her.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Can you believe that marriage counselor forgot to call his wife on the anniversary? I couldn't believe it myself. Now, folks, I call my wife every night when I'm on the road. Every night I call her. But on the day of our anniversary, I didn't call her.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

I woke up the next morning, 6:30 in the morning, and it dawned on me.

[Carolyn Chapman]

I didn't call her. So I ran across the road to a little food store and there was.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

A little telephone outside. And so I called her and I said, carolyn, I said, honey. I said, sweetie, I said, oh, honey, I am so sorry. I said, honey, I am so, so sorry.

[Carolyn Chapman]

She said, gary?

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

I said, yes, babe?

[Carolyn Chapman]

She said, what are you talking about? I said, honey, you know what I'm talking about. I forgot to call you. Yesterday on our anniversary, I forgot to call you. Honey. I am so sorry. I said, now, honey, I want you to know that I was speaking three or four times during the day. And in between the times I was speaking, I was counseling with people. I. And I said, last night, I was just bone tired, darling. And I said, there is no phone, honey, in the dormitory where I'm staying. But, honey, it's still wrong, honey. I should have called you. I am so sorry. And she said, gary.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And I said, yes, baby. She said, gary, you are forgiven.

[Carolyn Chapman]

I said, no, babe, that's too easy.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

No, babe.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Honey, it was awful. Honey, it was sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. And she said, gary.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

You are forgiven. And do you know that that woman has never, ever brought that up to me again?

[Carolyn Chapman]

She has never, ever.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

I think she's ashamed of it.

[Carolyn Chapman]

She didn't want to bring it up again. She has never, ever mentioned it again. Oh, what a woman. She forgave me.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Folks, you're never going to have a good marriage if you're not willing to forgive when your spouse confesses. But I know what some of you are thinking. Oh, I know what some of you are thinking. Yeah, Gary, that's a little deal. Forget your wife's anniversary. She can forgive you for that. But you don't understand. My wife left me. My wife was unfaithful to me sexually.

[Carolyn Chapman]

My wife had an affair with somebody else and then confessed and came back and asked me to forgive her.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

I understand the pain and the hurt. I understand what you're saying. I'm not putting all sins in the same category. In terms of pain and hurt and results, yes, some hurt worse and some hurt longer than others. I understand that. But before you decide not to forgive, you best read the words of Jesus when he said that if you do not forgive those who sin against you, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your sins. Folks, there's not any option. There is no option. If we are the people of God and if we have experienced his forgiveness, we have no option but to forgive our spouses. Forgive our spouses. No. We cannot accept wrong behavior as a way of life. No, no, no. I'm not saying we accept our spouse having an affair and continuing in that aff. No, no, no, no, no. But I'm saying if there's confession and there's repentance and they're turning around and they're asking to be reconciled as Christians, we must Forgive. I'll give you one other illustration of my own personal life. I'm going to share with you the happiest night of my life in terms of my relationship with my son, and the saddest night of my life. It all happened on the same night. I think he was about 15. I was in his room one night, and we got into it.

[Carolyn Chapman]

Do you ever get into it with your teenagers? I got into it. And when we got into it, I gave him some nasty, mean, harsh words. And he gave me some nasty, mean, harsh words. And we were giving it to each other. And in the middle of that interchange, he walked out of the room, walked across the living room, walked out the front door and slammed the door.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And when the door slammed, I woke up and I thought, oh, Lord, what have I done? What have I done?

[Carolyn Chapman]

And I sat down on the couch and started crying.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Weeping would be a better word. And my wife came in and tried to console me.

[Carolyn Chapman]

She put her arm around me and.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

She said, gary, that wasn't your fault. I heard that whole thing. He shouldn't be allowed to talk to you that way. And she tried to console me, but.

[Carolyn Chapman]

You know, it's hard to console a sinner.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And so after I had wept for a while, I got up and got on my knees on the couch, and I said, oh, God. Oh, God, it's wrong. It's wrong. The way I treated him is wrong. Let alone what he did to me.

[Carolyn Chapman]

The way I responded to him is wrong. And again, I thought, how could I do that with all my education and all my training and all?

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

And the message was clear, folks, we are sinners. And I said, I want to thank you for the cross. I don't know about you, but I have a profound appreciation for the cross of Christ. A profound appreciation for the cross of Christ.

[Carolyn Chapman]

I want to thank you for the.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

Cross, and I want to accept your forgiveness.

[Carolyn Chapman]

I sit on the couch.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

I don't know how long. I don't know if it was 30 minutes or three hours. On those occasions, time doesn't matter. You've been there. Time doesn't matter.

[Carolyn Chapman]

But in due time, my son walked.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

In and I said, derek, could you come in here a minute, son? And he came in and sat down on the gold chair, and I was still on the couch. And I said, son, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I should never have yelled at you like I did. And I want you to know that those things I said is not really the way I feel about you at the moment. I felt that but it's not really the way I feel about you. And I want you to know that. And I want you to know that I'm sorry. And I want to ask you to forgive me. You know what he said? He turned to me and he said, dad, that wasn't your fault. He said, I precipitated that. He said, I shouldn't have talked to you that way. He said, when I was walking up the road. But I ask God to forgive me, and I want to ask you to forgive me. You understand why I would say that was the saddest night of my life with my son and the happiest night of my life. You understand what just happened? My son just demonstrated that he's learned a big lesson in life. How to empty his conscience to God and how to empty his conscience to men. That boy's gonna need that as long as he lives. But if he ever gets married, that son of mine will sin against his wife. I wish he wouldn't. I wish he wouldn't. But he will sometimes do wrong. He will not be perfect. But if he has learned how to empty his conscience to God and empty his conscience to his wife, he has learned one of the big, big, big lessons in personal relationships. You see, folks, many of us could go a long ways in restoring relationships in our families if we were willing to go and share with that other family member that we recognize our own failures and ask their forgiveness and let God deal with them about their failures. I'm going to give you an assignment. When we finish this afternoon, take at least five minutes to get along with God and take any relationship that you would like to improve. Marriage, parent, child, brother, sister, whatever, any relationship you'd like to improve and take that relationship to God and say to God, lord, where am I failing that person? And whatever God brings to your mind, you write it down and confess it to God. And then I want to suggest that.

[Carolyn Chapman]

You go to that person.

[Dr. Gary Chapman]

If they're here, you go to them. If they're at home, you can call them on the phone and say to them, I've been thinking about us. And I've asked God to show me where I have been failing. And he gave me a list, and I've asked him to forgive me, and I want to ask you to forgive me. I tell you, that could be a giant step in many family relationships. I want to challenge you to apply this principle to some relationship that you would like to see improved.

[John Fuller]

Such wise words and quite a challenge there from Dr. Gary Chapman on today's episode of Focus on the Family. And I hope God brings someone to mind for you that you can take these steps of forgiveness that Dr. Chapman described for us.

[Jim Daly]

John, we'll post those steps online for those who may have missed some of the message that Gary provided. It's important, and if you can go online and take a look at that.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. The article is called the First Steps to True Forgiveness, and you'll find that when you follow the link in the show notes.

[Jim Daly]

I also want to say thank you to Gary for his exceptional honesty in this presentation. That's a badge of courage, in my opinion, for him to express his faults in such an open way on national radio, really, for our benefit, so we can learn from those things. People who don't know him might have heard these examples and come away thinking he's not a very nice man, but that is not true. He is being vulnerable. It's part of the process of sanctification. It's what the Lord does in each of our lives to help us recognize our faults and use his power to help us improve and grow. Gary is a wonderful husband, a wonderful father, and to be honest, I think he's wonderful. One of our best guests here at Focus on the Family.

[John Fuller]

Well, I'd have to agree, Jim. And part of that is the transparency. And he's kind of a mentor for all of us.

[Jim Daly]

He really is. And I always feel like I do a bit better in my marriage and my parenting after we've had Gary on the program. Gene would attest to that. And you know, that wisdom of his, specifically in the area of forgiveness, is evident in the book the Five Apology Languages, where he explains these principles in much more detail. And as we said last time, if you're in an abusive relationship, please get yourself and your children to a place of safety and keep that location a secret before you reach out for help. This program was intended for generally healthy marriages. And for marriages that are in more trouble, I'd highly recommend our 4 day intensive experience called Hope Restored. Many of those participants write to us to say how impressed they were by the entire experience. And they say that they feel like they experienced years worth of counseling over those four days. Thus the word intensive. And when we contact those couples two years after their visit, over 80%, 80% are still married and doing well. It's really a remarkable program. And when you give to Focus on the Family, you're helping us support and save those marriages around the world. Can I ask you to consider making a monthly pledge to the ministry? It doesn't have to be a large amount. It's that month to month consistency that really helps us smooth out those ups and downs for the budgeting process. And when you make a monthly pledge of any amount, we'll send you the Five Apology Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. And if you can't make a monthly commitment, we get that. We'll send the book to you for a one time gift of any amount. We just want to get a copy to you if you need it. So get in touch with us today and become a part of our marriage saving team.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, you can donate online and request your copy of the five apology Languages. We've got the link in the episode notes and you can request your copy of the book right there. You can also call us for details 800, the letter A and the word Family. And by the way, as summer travel season is here, be sure to swing by if you're in the Colorado Springs area. Our welcome center is terrific and we have about a quarter of a million people swing through the campus in any given year. So plan now to visit Wit's End, the soda shop downstairs at the welcome center, the world class bookstore that we have, and then relax and let the kids burn some steam off in our safe indoor environment. It's a terrific place. On behalf of the entire team, thanks for listening to this Focus on the Family podcast. Take a moment please and leave a rating for us in your podcast app and share about this episode with a friend. Help us spread the word about everything focused on the family has to offer. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

[Focus on the Family Representative]

Your marriage can be redeemed even if the fights seem constant. Even if there's been an affair, even if you haven't felt close in years. No matter how deep the wounds are, you can take a step toward healing them with a Hope Restored Marriage Intensive. Our biblically based counseling will help you find the root of your problems and face challenges together. We'll talk with you, pray with you and help you find out which program will work best. Call us at 1-866-875-2915.