Summary of "Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day"
Podcast Information:
- Title: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
- Host/Author: Focus on the Family
- Episode: Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day
- Release Date: March 24, 2025
Introduction and Listener Testimonial
The episode begins with Jim Daly acknowledging the long-time support of a listener named Ruth, who shares her gratitude for Focus on the Family:
- Ruth (00:05): "Focus on the Family has always been kind of a cornerstone in my life... I am so grateful that you guys that Focus on the Family is around."
Jim highlights Ruth's contribution to their option alternative ultrasound program, emphasizing the community's role in supporting preborn babies and their mothers.
Emphasizing the Importance of Cherishing in Marriage
The core of the episode features Gary Thomas, an esteemed author and speaker, discussing the profound impact of cherishing one's spouse beyond mere love.
- Gary Thomas (01:00): "I want my kids to know. I cherish your mom. It's not enough that we made it to 36 years of marriage. I want him to be able to say, when I die, he cherished her for 50 years or 60 years."
Thomas distinguishes between love and cherishing, asserting that while love is fundamental, cherishing elevates the marital relationship to a deeper level of appreciation and respect.
- Gary Thomas (01:26): "Love is good, love is great, but love and cherish is even better."
Real-Life Application: Jim Daly's Personal Reflection
Jim Daly shares his personal experience inspired by Thomas's message, illustrating the transformative power of cherishing in his own marriage:
- Jim Daly (02:00): "I'd get home and say, hey, we need to do this... Today, we're going to share a prerecorded message from Gary..."
He recounts implementing Thomas's principles by maintaining a journal to acknowledge daily blessings in his marriage, leading to a more profound appreciation for his wife, Jean.
Gary Thomas's Story: Upholding Promises in Marriage
Gary Thomas narrates a touching story about Wayne Williams, a Chicago Cubs fan, who honors a promise to watch the World Series with his late father by remotely participating from his father's grave. This story serves as an allegory for maintaining commitments in marriage despite challenges.
- Gary Thomas (02:41): "Wayne and his father made a pledge... to listen to the games together. Even after his father's passing, Wayne honored that promise."
Thomas connects this narrative to marital vows, emphasizing the significance of keeping promises to cherish one's spouse:
- Gary Thomas (15:15): "I realized if I don't learn to cherish my spouse and continue to practice cherishing my spouse, she will never be a cherished wife. I'm the only one that can do that."
Practical Steps to Cherish Your Spouse
Thomas outlines actionable steps to cultivate a mindset of cherishing within marriage:
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Renewing the Mindset:
- Gary Thomas (18:30): "Romans 12:2 says this be transformed by the renewing of your mind... I have to find a mental image that makes me maintain that right approach of thinking about my spouse."
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Avoiding Comparison:
- Gary Thomas (19:45): "Comparison is the opposite of cherishing. Comparison leads to contempt."
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Consistent Acknowledgment:
- Gary Thomas (21:05): "I created a journal, and every day I wrote down something I was thankful for. It became a Christmas present... it makes sense when you learn to cherish your spouse."
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Exclusive Attitude:
- Gary Thomas (20:20): "I look at my wife as Eve, the only woman in the world. Comparison stops. I cherish you."
Impact of Cherishing on Marital Dynamics
Thomas emphasizes that cherishing fosters a positive and supportive marital environment, counteracting daily stresses and external pressures.
- Gary Thomas (21:50): "If I were to ask you what makes your marriage difficult, nobody in here would have to say... cherishing helps us push back against that difficulty to remember why we married our spouse."
He also shares anecdotes illustrating how cherishing actions can transform perceptions within marriage, leading to deeper mutual respect and love.
Conclusion and Call to Action
John Fuller and Jim Daly reflect on the inspiring message delivered by Gary Thomas, encouraging listeners to adopt the practice of cherishing in their own marriages.
- Jim Daly (23:28): "Like you, I'm kind of thinking I should do this. It's not too late."
They promote Gary Thomas's book, "Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage," available through Focus on the Family, with proceeds supporting their mission to strengthen marriages globally.
Listener Impact and Community Support
The episode highlights listener Amanda's testimonial, showcasing the long-term positive effects of Focus on the Family:
- Amanda: "Focus made a huge impact on our 30-year marriage and helped us raise four children to adulthood."
Jim Daly shares statistics demonstrating the ministry's extensive reach and effectiveness in supporting marriages facing crises and building stronger relationships.
Final Encouragement and Resources
Listeners are encouraged to support Focus on the Family through donations, which enable the continuation of valuable resources and programs like the Hope Restored Marriage Intensive. Additionally, a free collection of audio downloads titled "Nurturing the Heart of Your Spouse" is available, featuring insights from various experts to further aid in marital enrichment.
- John Fuller (27:05): "Make your donation and request Gary's book Cherish by following the link in the episode notes."
Key Takeaways
- Cherishing vs. Loving: While love forms the foundation of marriage, cherishing elevates the relationship by fostering deeper appreciation and respect.
- Mindset Transformation: Renewing one's mindset is crucial to view and treat a spouse with continual appreciation.
- Practical Implementation: Keeping journals, avoiding comparisons, and maintaining exclusive attitudes towards one's spouse can significantly enhance marital satisfaction.
- Community and Support: Engaging with supportive communities and utilizing available resources can aid in overcoming marital challenges and strengthening the marital bond.
Notable Quotes:
- Gary Thomas (01:26): "Love is good, love is great, but love and cherish is even better."
- Gary Thomas (15:15): "I realized if I don't learn to cherish my spouse and continue to practice cherishing my spouse, she will never be a cherished wife. I'm the only one that can do that."
- Gary Thomas (19:45): "Comparison is the opposite of cherishing. Comparison leads to contempt."
- John Fuller (27:05): "Make your donation and request Gary's book Cherish by following the link in the episode notes."
This episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly serves as a profound reminder of the transformative power of cherishing within marriage. By embracing the principles discussed, couples can cultivate deeper, more fulfilling relationships that stand the test of time.