← Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Deciphering the Secret Language of Your Spouse's Heart (Part 2 of 2)
00:27:42
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- [00:01]
Jim Daly
For decades, Ruth has benefited from our broadcast and podcasts. Focus on the Family has always been kind of a cornerstone in my life. I grew up listening to a lot of programs while my mom had it on the radio. The resources available at Focus on the Family are just absolutely wonderful. And I am so grateful that you guys that Focus on the Family is around. And now that she's a wife and mother, Ruth has found a way to give back by supporting our option alternative ultrasound program. That was one of the best parts of pregnancy, seeing that baby. So being able to give that gift to somebody else, it's a win, win. I'm Jim Daley. Working together, we can be a lifeline to preborn babies and their moms. Join our friends of Focus on the family team@focusonthefamily.com families or call 800AFAMILY.
- [01:01]
Pam Ferrell
It has to start with somebody. Why not let love start with you? Because there's no downside. If we choose to be a loving person towards our mate, we become a loving person in all of our life.
- [01:14]
John Fuller
Well, that's Pam Ferrell, and she and her husband Bill join us today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, offering tips on how to communicate more effectively with your spouse and unlock their heart. Thanks for joining us. I'm John Fuller.
- [01:27]
Jim Daly
John, I so appreciate it. Both Pam and Bill's comments, it was funny, actually, and I think it was funny because it was so close to home. Right. And we could all identify with this idea of women needing security and men needing success and to be each other's cheerleaders in that regard. I think, as Bill said yesterday, I think men struggle a bit more on how do we do that. Well, what does that mean? I mean, I was looking for those ingredients and he delivered. If you missed the conversation last time, go to the website, get the app at the smartphone, and you can hear everything and hear it when you want to. So I encourage you to go back and listen to day one.
- [02:05]
John Fuller
Yeah. We're going to do a deeper dive on some of these great concepts that we heard last time. Bill and Pam Farrell have been in marriage ministry for over 40 years now, and they started the organization called Lovewise. They speak at conferences, they write, they're on podcasts and TV shows. And we're so glad to have them back here talking about their book, the Secret Language of Successful the Keys for Unlocking Love. It's a terrific resource and you can get a copy from us here at the ministry. We've got the link in the show notes.
- [02:37]
Jim Daly
Bill and Pam, welcome Back for day two. It's good to have you. Thanks for that stamina and we're looking forward to it. It was so good last time. I mean, I just, I was laughing inside going, oh, my gosh, this is Gene and I. And sometimes you're in a good place, sometimes you're not in as good a place. Let me put it that way. We didn't get to something I wanted to get to last time, and that is this acrostic that you use for marriage. So let's move through that, maybe quickly list them, and then we'll go back and pick off a couple.
- [03:07]
Pam Ferrell
Yeah, we did talk about that line of trust and that marriage is better when we're above that line of trust. And so if you look at the main areas that we need to unlock success for him and security for her, it would be the mystery of love. How are we different and how can we use those differences for us?
- [03:28]
Jim Daly
The M in marriage and then the.
- [03:30]
Pam Ferrell
A in marriage is affection. How can we just be kind? Like, honestly, Bill and I think if we were just nice to each other, the divorce rate would go down. I mean, just that one night alone and then recreation, developing that active, you know, friendship. Couples that work out together actually have more red hot monogamy and they live longer. Okay, that's some good things. Right? And then resolving conflict, that is a tough one for many people, especially folks like Bill and I, that come from crazy dysfunction. Right. And then intimacy is the I in marriage and a little bit of red hot monogamy. And that happens when you live and love above that line of trust. And then activating alarms. There are alarms in each of our relationships that are kind of like warning signals. Just picture a yellow flashing light and God's trying to get your attention. And then golden goals, if we're like pulling together in the same direction, it is going to be a higher calling than just my, my happiness. Then just, you know, one of our personal happiness and fulfillment if we're pulling together for a cause and a reason.
- [04:37]
Jim Daly
So golden goals is not retirement fund.
- [04:40]
Pam Ferrell
No, no.
- [04:40]
Jim Daly
Like down there in our golden years. So these are golden opportunities.
- [04:46]
Pam Ferrell
Yes, exactly. And then lastly, the E in marriage is expressing yourself, finding those uniquenesses in your spouse and applauding and running alongside those uniquenesses and working those uniquenesses into your marriage and family so that everybody's. And healthier.
- [05:04]
Jim Daly
Okay, so let me pick some of these apart. We'll see Mystery of love. You know, Charlie Brown, what I'm hearing with that is wah, wah, wah, Mystery of Love Bill. What does that mean?
- [05:16]
Bill Ferrell
It's actually not that complicated. It's accepting the fact you married somebody different than you.
- [05:21]
Jim Daly
Okay, so that is the mystery.
- [05:23]
Bill Ferrell
You marry what you don't have, and because you don't have it, you're always. You're always trying to figure it out. It's why Romans 15:7 says, Accept one another just as Christ accepted you. It doesn't say, understand each other. It says, accept. And I've been watching Pam for 45 years. I'm still waiting for the day that I can say I fully understand her. But I still marvel at her. She responds in ways that I could never respond. Yeah, she gets excited with our grandkids in a way I could never do. She has this very creative side to her that's fun to be around, but hard to imitate. And the mystery of love is just accepting the fact that I married what I don't have and I need to stay curious for the rest of my.
- [06:05]
Pam Ferrell
Life, and I married what I don't have in that. You know, if I really take advantage of the concept that God wants Bill to succeed, then I see this amazing pastor, and he is so godly, and he's a wise father because he's fathering our kids differently and better than the dad that he had growing up. And so it helps you see, if you step into that mystery, it helps you see your spouse from God's point of view.
- [06:34]
Jim Daly
Yeah, Affection. Now I think we need to unpack each of these because they're all so good. So you got affection. We covered a bit yesterday, but let me. We didn't ask it this way, Pam. Men and women are gonna see that maybe a little differently.
- [06:47]
Pam Ferrell
Oh, for sure.
- [06:48]
Jim Daly
Affection sounds awesome. Let's get. Let's get intimate.
- [06:51]
Pam Ferrell
That I see it in there actually twice the A for affection means, like the overall kindness and nice and gentleness that's in a marriage. And then the intimacy is like the guys, like, enjoying red hot monogamy. But actually it's a gift that God gave both men and women. That intimacy.
- [07:11]
Jim Daly
Okay, we're not going to cover all of marriage, but I do think two that I want to hit because they're so critical. Resolving conflict, I mean, that's like. You got to know how to do that to survive. Let's hit that one.
- [07:22]
Pam Ferrell
And activating alarms kind of goes with that. Is that God loves your marriage so much that he wants to get your attention when there's going to be some conflict or there is some conflict that needs resolved. Like we were in a hotel and we were fast asleep. And all of a sudden the lights came on automatically. The phone was ringing. There was buzzers going off. And we're here. We're hearing firemen knocking on all the doors. Fire, fire, fire. Like, you could not ignore those alarms. They were, like, so apparent. And that's the relationship. Sometimes there's toxic things going on.
- [08:01]
Bill Ferrell
But the problem was not in our room.
- [08:03]
Pam Ferrell
Right.
- [08:04]
Bill Ferrell
The problem was in a storage room where a fire had broke out. And even though the alarm was going off and interrupting our life, the problem was not with us.
- [08:13]
Pam Ferrell
So sometimes it's circumstantial that are difficult. Like, let's say my cancer. That's not a part like that was entered into our marriage. But sometimes it is things from your past. And there are alarms that are going off, and God is saying, pam, you need to address this, like, father thing. Your dad was not a good dad, but I'm a great heavenly father, so let's heal your heart. Bill, you know, you need to address this mom thing. Yeah, your mom was, like, completely run.
- [08:45]
Bill Ferrell
By fear and very controlling.
- [08:46]
Pam Ferrell
And I don't want you to run by fear, and I don't want your marriage to run by fear. So there are areas of growth that God's pointing out for the benefit of the marriage, for the benefit of the family. And when those alarms go off, that is definitely the time to pick up the phone, call, focus on the family, get to one of those conferences, you know, make a counseling appointment. Bill does. He does a lot of relationship coaching through the Zoom now, too. And, you know, reach out to the marriage that you think is the strongest in your world, in your church, and just say, can we have some coffee? Can we just get together? And it's amazing what one friend can help another friend do and move forward in their marriage.
- [09:30]
Jim Daly
Yeah, we're actually doing marriage 911, which is developing mentors within churches. So that's something that you can call us and we'll tell you all about it.
- [09:38]
John Fuller
Yeah, we've got details. You can call 800-A- Family or stop by the show Notes for further details.
- [09:44]
Jim Daly
Bill, there's got to be more to resolving conflict.
- [09:48]
Bill Ferrell
So, you know, in regards to resolving conflict, one of the things we encourage all couples to do is make a series of decisions about how you're going to face conflict, because conflict's normal in marriage. You have an incredible amount of influence on each other. And often things you do, they just get to you. Like, I know there's two looks that Pam gets. One of the looks I love when she looks at me with that look. I'm like, I'll do, I'll run through a brick building for that look. And then there's this other look that just like pierces the heart and slices and dices. And nobody else on earth can do that. So conflict in marriage, it is normal. The problem with conflict is it's almost completely emotionally based. You very seldom enter a conflict because, well, I've been thinking about something and then you get upset about it. No, you get, you get upset because it emotionally stirred you up. And the thing I wish somebody had told me earlier in marriage is that our emotions follow our decisions. So if you decide how you're going to face conflict, it, it helps you, you harness all the emotional energy and you use it for yourself rather than just cause damage with it.
- [10:56]
Pam Ferrell
And so conflict, covenant, conflict, commitment. That is an excellent place to start. Like, I promise not to run over you with the truck. It's a good thing, you know, to have in that conflict, covenant. I'm not the words, I'm going to throw the word divorce out. I'm not going to use it anymore. I'm not going to swear at you, I'm not going to hit you. You know, basics should be in there, but also like, where will you go? Who will you go to when you're in conflict that can't be resolved? And like, what are the healthy words? What are the healthy choices to make? When we don't see eye to eye.
- [11:30]
Bill Ferrell
Pam and I, we actually decide we're going to follow a system. When we have to have a conflict with each other, we're actually going to follow a step by step system because we both grew up in crazy homes. So if we just do it spontaneously, we can revert to some of the old habits we grew up around.
- [11:47]
Pam Ferrell
Like, conflict can build you or it can tear your marriage apart.
- [11:50]
Bill Ferrell
So we built our system. Or the word solve. The S is we're going to seek God together. So before we have difficult conversations, we invite Jesus into the middle of it. And sometimes it's a really smooth prayer, you know, like, God, we need your help and you know, give us your words. Sometimes it's pretty raw, like, I don't.
- [12:07]
Pam Ferrell
Really like the guy right now, so help me out, God.
- [12:09]
Bill Ferrell
Like, God, if you don't help us right now, we're going to have a bad day. So like, come on, show up or something. And then the O is for open the conversation. And that is just giving each other the opportunity to vent.
- [12:20]
Pam Ferrell
Who wants to start first?
- [12:21]
Bill Ferrell
Basically, right. And some sometimes we need something physical to hold on to. Like a piece of a carpet. Yeah, you know, exactly. Pam, you got the floor, and she'll give me the floor. And as long as you're holding the carpet, you get to talk. And we used to have a tennis ball that we would use, you know, the balls in your court.
- [12:36]
Pam Ferrell
But I'm a little bit like, the ball's in your court. Yeah. It could be dangerous.
- [12:41]
Bill Ferrell
Yeah, Throw it to me. And we let that process go until it calms. And as soon as it calms down, then we shift to the next one, which is look deeper. And we're looking for the real issue. Like, what I've noticed in working with couples is couples argue and argue, but they never get to the real issue. And so they don't solve anything. They just unload a bunch of emotion and then they go their separate ways. And I can tell you, for me, if I'm in conflict with Pam and it's because I caused it, it's usually because I feel left out. And that comes from being the youngest in my family who didn't get taken seriously and having a very controlling moment. So I feel like I got left out of a lot of decisions in my life growing up. And when Pam leaves me out of a decision, I get frustrated. And so that's almost always the issue if I've caused it.
- [13:30]
Jim Daly
Yeah.
- [13:30]
Bill Ferrell
And then the. The two others are verify options. Like, there's always ways to approach a problem.
- [13:36]
Pam Ferrell
Let's, like brainstorm, bring all kinds of ideas.
- [13:39]
Bill Ferrell
And we get stuck on. Often we get stuck on two, and we fight for who's right. So we look for options. And then finally the E is we evolve to the answer. Because some things in life you can't solve, like if you have a special needs child, you don't solve it. You know, in the journey we've been through, going through chemo, you endure. You don't solve it. You just have to get through it. So sometimes you have to evolve into the answer. And remember, we don't have an answer, but we have each other and we have a God. Strength is in our connection.
- [14:10]
Jim Daly
So activating alarms, you know, it's catching my attention. You've talked about how you process and problem solve. I did. Like in the book, you talked about that interrupted motivation. Money is usually a battle zone. So I was going to ask you.
- [14:27]
Pam Ferrell
Originally, usually, like always, give me an.
- [14:29]
Jim Daly
Example of where it didn't run that smoothly between the two of you. You didn't get to that end result. I would think at times, money for most couples is going to be an issue.
- [14:40]
Bill Ferrell
We actually have two, like, painful but now funny stories that we went through financially. One, one involved a move Pam made, and another one involved a move that I made. And the first even. Yeah, yeah. So the first one was Pam came home from a conference that she had gone to when she was. When she was young, and she was wanting to be a writer entrepreneur, and she went to a conference on how to become a writer, and she came home with an announcement.
- [15:08]
Pam Ferrell
Like, it really was like, I just spent this amount of money, and it was more money than we had agreed upon that you could spend independently. And so I walked in and I said, I'm gonna tell you something, and you're not gonna like it.
- [15:21]
Jim Daly
Oh, my gosh.
- [15:22]
Pam Ferrell
But I need you to say, I love you, and we'll get through this together. And so then I shared my Magic Bean story, and Bill replied with.
- [15:31]
Bill Ferrell
And through gritted teeth, I said, I love you, and we're gonna get through this together.
- [15:37]
Pam Ferrell
And so he, like, was very kind to me, even though I had, like, well, overspent what was available. And on something that did not work to move anything forward in my particular, you know, writing, speaking.
- [15:52]
Bill Ferrell
Dial it forward.
- [15:53]
Pam Ferrell
Yeah. Ten years later. Okay. Ten years later, Bill, we got a.
- [15:58]
Bill Ferrell
Small inheritance from Pam's dad, who'd passed away, and I found this investment opportunity that I thought was gonna be really sure thing.
- [16:07]
Pam Ferrell
So I left. Okay, honey, you run with it. And then we found out. Oh, totally made off kind of, you know, bad. It was bad.
- [16:17]
Bill Ferrell
Fortunately, I didn't take the whole inheritance. I only took part of it, and it produced nothing.
- [16:23]
Pam Ferrell
It lost all that money. And Bill came to me, and he said, I'm gonna tell you something, and you're not gonna like it, but I need you to say, I love you, and we'll get. And so even though there were more zeros, honestly, I started laughing. I'm like, you loved me through my Magic Bean story. If this is what it takes to love you, it is well worth every one of those dollars.
- [16:47]
Bill Ferrell
So that was kind of our introduction to why the alarms go off in finances. Because often in marriage, the alarm does go off when we're dealing with money. And the reason for it is we all express who we are in the way we handle money. Because even Jesus said, where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. So we're all emotionally attached to money, and we express who we are. And there's four basic ways that people approach money in expressing who they are. There is the decision maker, the Decision maker is that person who. They've got a mission and they want control of the decisions that are tied to that mission in life. And as long as they can make the decision, they're fine. So they will set goals financially and they will make the decision. Sometimes they check in with their spouse, sometimes they just announce the decision. And when a decision has been made for you, you will emotionally react. So conflict jumps up in the marriage because of this decision that was made, might be a great decision, but because it wasn't consulted.
- [17:46]
Jim Daly
No process.
- [17:47]
Bill Ferrell
Yeah. It creates turmoil.
- [17:48]
Pam Ferrell
And then the second is the inspirer and that's the person.
- [17:51]
Bill Ferrell
Those are the people who go to the conference and see a magic opportunity and commit to it.
- [17:55]
Pam Ferrell
Or they like want to buy every daughter in law a spa package every Christmas, you know, and like I make decisions based on my hard work. I want to spend it on my grandkids. You know, it's all relationship driven.
- [18:10]
Bill Ferrell
Right. And if you don't budget for it, they will find a way to spend it anyway. So what happens? It doesn't show up in the budget, it gets spent and then the other spouse is upset about it. The third approach is the peacekeeper. And the peacekeeper is the one that wants every. They want money to be a non issue. Yeah.
- [18:28]
Jim Daly
No conflict. Yeah.
- [18:29]
Bill Ferrell
I just want to be so simple, so automatic, so direct that it doesn't cause a problem. And when things get complicated and it causes a problem, they feel like they've lost their footing in life and they seek to get the equilibrium back. And they usually do it by trying to shut everybody down.
- [18:46]
Jim Daly
That's peacekeeper.
- [18:47]
Bill Ferrell
That's the peacekeeper.
- [18:47]
Jim Daly
Okay, got it.
- [18:48]
Pam Ferrell
He knows the policy.
- [18:50]
Jim Daly
I think this one, I'm familiar with this one. The policyholder.
- [18:55]
Pam Ferrell
Yeah, this one is the. Tends to be the person that actually writes the family budget, you know, with like the spreadsheet and everything. And if you don't go along with the family budget, it's not like you overspent.
- [19:07]
Bill Ferrell
Well, hold that. I want you to get back to that. Because what the policyholder does is they set up a system and everything needs to fit in the system. And the way they think is if it fits the system, it's right. If it doesn't fit the system, it's wrong. That's how they think. Now whether their system is accurate or not is almost immaterial. It's their system and they want everything to fit in the system.
- [19:31]
Jim Daly
Let's talk about goal setting. In the last couple of minutes we're down to the, you know, people are going to have to get the book, John, because we weren't able to cover everything. But goal setting as a couple can be either. Like you just said, it could be a great blessing or a great tragedy. How do you go about the goal setting?
- [19:49]
Bill Ferrell
First, let me say. I'll let Pam jump in, but let me just, first of all say the purpose of setting goals is to stay in motion. Because Proverbs 16:9 says, in his heart, a man makes his plans, but the Lord directs his steps. So God's going to get your marriage where he wants it to go. You don't have to figure it all out ahead of time, but what goals do is it keeps you moving, it keeps you out of the boring routine of life. I got married so I could clean the house, take care of the garage, mow the lawn, go to work, chase kids, and that's. That's all my life is. Goals gives you motion, so you're heading somewhere so God can steer you as a couple. So when you. The better you get as setting goals as a couple, the more you have the sense of we're on mission together and we're making decisions together. And couples who make decisions together, they create an emotional environment between the two of them that's cooperative and softer.
- [20:39]
Pam Ferrell
And it gives you a. A bigger reason to work hard at your marriage. When you have goals that you're pulling in the same direction together, it gives you reason to hang in there together. And so one of the first questions to ask is, why did God bring us together? I mean, it's obvious. Like, now as we look back, God brought us together as college students. I fell in love with this man who had on his Bible, like, imprinted.
- [21:05]
Bill Ferrell
That I may know him out of Philippians chapter three.
- [21:07]
Pam Ferrell
And I'm like, I know that whole verse. Like, he really does want to know God. It's on his Bible. And he's like, worn one Bible out and had to have it recovered. So I love that. And the guy drives a blue Vega with a green back door, and he owns two pairs of pants and one has a rip in the knee. Yeah, didn't marry impression. So that's not the reason that God brought us together. Oh, I have, like, a huge dysfunction on my side. He has huge dysfunction. And God wants to use our marriage as a picture of hope, that if Pam and Bill can make it through crazy, then maybe we can make it through crazy. And so anytime we're hitting a marriage hiccup, we then go back to that and we say, okay, how can we right now make our marriage a picture of hope. What do we need to add? What ingredient, what person, what methodology, what book, what resource do we need to add so that we gain hope, but others find hope in our relationship?
- [22:01]
Jim Daly
So good. I'm going to. For the last question, it just kind of rolls right out of that, which is the difference that Jesus makes in a marriage and the importance of that. So, you know, some people listening or watching may not have made that commitment or they're marginal on that commitment. So when you make the Lord the foundation of your relationship, for example, Gene and I often will say, especially if we have a disagreement, I won't use argument, but when we have basically an argument, if we are in that spot where we're reminding one another that our core foundation is our commitment to Christ even before each other, that really does help solve some of the conflict we're experiencing. And we then now exhibit some of the fruit of the spirit right, to be a little more generous, a little kinder in the relationship. So speak to the importance of that. As we end today's program, we have.
- [22:55]
Pam Ferrell
Simple life giving messages that we choose to say when we're in conflict. Like, we won't leave each other's presence to drive someplace or speak someplace separately until we have said something that sounds like, okay, I'm gonna hug you. I'd rather experience this stress with you than to be on a sunny beach in Hawaii, you know, so we put, I'd rather be here with you, even though this is hard. We put that in. And we put that in because God is an overcomer. And it reminds us that there is no problem that is too big that God cannot send and answer for. He is the creator God. He can create a way forward for you and for me.
- [23:39]
Bill Ferrell
Well, and Jim, I appreciate you asking this question because it's really personal to me. Like, I grew up in a home that I did not want to Repeat. And at 16 years old, I started a personal relationship with Jesus. And I started that relationship because I'd seen the movie the Exorcist and it scared me into reading the Bible.
- [23:57]
Jim Daly
That's smart.
- [23:57]
Bill Ferrell
Okay. So I came to know Christ because I wanted. I wanted protection from what I'd seen. What I didn't count on is that God put resources inside of me. When I trusted Christ that I didn't know were coming with the package, I just didn't want to be afraid. And the Bible talks about God shedding his love in our hearts. And I felt it happen. Like the day after I prayed to receive Christ, I woke Up. And I went, something's different. I got to go figure out what this different thing is. And what I discovered is that when you receive Christ as your savior, the Holy Spirit takes residence inside of you, and he brings his power and he brings his love. So when I look at Pam, I don't just ask the question, how can I love Pam? I asked the question, how can God love Pam through me? Because that's available to me now.
- [24:49]
Jim Daly
It's really good.
- [24:50]
Bill Ferrell
And I remember the day I got tired of people telling me that Jesus is a crutch for weak people. I just had enough. And I went, you don't know him, do you? You don't know my guy. Went, what do you mean? I go, if you'd met the Jesus that I met, you might say it's like getting on a motorcycle with a crazy driver, and you got to hang on for your life because he's taking you faster and farther to places that you would never go on your own. Now, if you'd said that to me, I'd say you met Jesus. But this crutch for weak people, that's not the Jesus I meant.
- [25:18]
Jim Daly
Wow, that's good.
- [25:19]
Bill Ferrell
Yeah. He brought strength and power and love into my life so that I can love people who I have reasons not to love. And I have a deeper love for Pam than I thought was even possible. And I just came to Jesus because I didn't want to be afraid. I didn't realize all the resources he was bringing to my life that makes relationships better.
- [25:38]
Pam Ferrell
And Jim mentioned earlier that we try to get to the fruit of the spirit. And I think that is one of the key things that when we're in conflict, we naturally now pray, what fruit of the spirit needs to happen here? You know, what am I seeing? I'm seeing Bill's anxious. Oh, peace. That's a fruit of the spirit. I could try to bring peace right now. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control. All those things are available to us. And all of the names that Jesus said he is. I'm the way, the truth, and the life. I'm the bread of life. I'm the light, I'm the life. I'm love. God is love. That's our verse, for sure. We sign every book.
- [26:22]
Bill Ferrell
God is love, and we love because he first loved us.
- [26:26]
Pam Ferrell
1 John 4:19.
- [26:28]
Jim Daly
That's a good place to end today. Thank you so much for being with us. Great content. Wonderful book. The Secret Language of Successful Couples. And we have covered some of it, but there's so Much more. So get a copy, as we often do. Send a gift of any amount. We'll send you a copy of the book to say thank you for joining us in ministry. You know, last year we helped 170,000 couples. 170,000 couples through a marital crisis. So when I say we, that's you guys, too, doing broadcasts and podcasts and other content. So with our great guests that we're able to have here on the radio program and the podcast and the different ways we use this content, that's what touches a person's life. So we're all in this together. Be part of the team. If you can donate on a monthly basis, which is how Gene and I support Focus. John, you and Dina do that.
- [27:16]
Pam Ferrell
We do the ferals.
- [27:17]
Jim Daly
Yeah, the ferals do. I mean, we've got like 50,000 couples that are supporting the ministry that way, but what a time to make it a hundred thousand couples because we can reach so many more people and help so many more couples.
- [27:29]
Pam Ferrell
And we, we were one of those couples. One of the golden goals when we first got married is we're going to listen to Focus on the Family every day together. And we have done that for decades now so that all of that your supporters have given helped us on our side, too.
- [27:45]
John Fuller
I love that. And we invite you to be part of the team. Make a monthly pledge as you can or one time gift of any amount. And we will say thank you for joining the support team, enabling us to do shows like this and provide so many resources. We'll send the book the Secret Language of Successful Couples to you as our thank you gift. Donate today when you call 800, the letter A in the word family or stop by the show notes, you can donate through the links right there. And on behalf of the entire team, thanks for joining us today. For Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
- [28:43]
Pam Ferrell
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