Fun and Faith-Based Activities for Dads to do with Their Kids

Summary

Podcast Summary: Fun and Faith-Based Activities for Dads to Do with Their Kids

Podcast Information

• Title: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
• Host/Author: Focus on the Family
• Episode: Fun and Faith-Based Activities for Dads to Do with Their Kids
• Release Date: June 13, 2025
• Description: This episode delves into practical and engaging activities that fathers can undertake with their children to strengthen family bonds and model Christian values. Hosts Jim Daly, John Fuller, and guests Jay and Laura Laffoon discuss the challenges dads face in parenting, the importance of active involvement, and share insights from their book, Ultimate Dad Night: 75 Amazing Activities for Dads and Kids.

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Introduction

The episode kicks off with Jay Laffoon reminiscing about cherished family memories, emphasizing the joy and fun in creating lasting moments with children. This sets the tone for the discussion on how fathers can actively engage with their kids through enjoyable and meaningful activities.

The Challenge of Dad Engagement

Jim Daly introduces the central theme by highlighting the common struggle many dads face: feeling like they’re merely "going through the motions" in parenting due to busy schedules and external responsibilities.

"You're busy. You may have a job outside the home as a mom and probably as a dad, you're working hard. And it comes to that point when you're going, man, we're just going through the motions." — Jim Daly [00:37]

Jay Laffoon shares his personal experience of feeling uncertain about how to engage with his young children, illustrating a prevalent issue among fathers.

"I was afraid I was gonna break them. I mean, seriously, you know, here's this little person and she was great with them." — Jay Laffoon [02:17]

Encouraging Fathers to Participate

John Fuller and Laura Laffoon discuss strategies to encourage dads to take a more active role in parenting. Laura emphasizes the importance of wives understanding and supporting their husbands’ unique ways of engagement.

"Don't say anything here. I've already like tagged some for you if you want to." — Laura Laffoon [06:13]

Laura advises against nagging and instead recommends subtle, supportive methods to inspire fathers to participate without feeling pressured.

Benefits of Dad Engagement

The conversation shifts to the profound benefits that active father involvement has on children. Laura highlights how dads modeling behavior aligns with Christian teachings about God’s role as a father.

"When a man takes a role in the life of his child, they are more able to see when someone says God the father, to go, oh, like my dad, so he's gonna be like a dad." — Laura Laffoon [13:35]

Jim Daly adds that children often view their fathers as role models who can significantly influence their spiritual and emotional development.

Activities to Bond with Kids

Jay and Laura Laffoon introduce their book, Ultimate Dad Night: 75 Amazing Activities for Dads and Kids, providing practical ideas for fathers to bond with their children.

One highlighted activity involves detailing a car together:

"As you're cleaning this car, you're clearly spending time with your child. You're teaching your child a healthy work ethic and healthy habits to keep your car clean." — Jay Laffoon [08:53]

Another memorable activity shared by Jay is a water balloon fight, illustrating how simple, fun activities can create lasting memories without needing to focus on their spiritual significance.

"It was just plain fun. And that's another thing, stuff in this book is just fun, you know... making memories with your children." — Jay Laffoon [10:00]

Overcoming Comfort Zones and Fears

The discussion highlights the importance of fathers stepping outside their comfort zones to engage in activities their children enjoy. Jay recounts his attempt at rock climbing with his son, demonstrating vulnerability and the willingness to try new things despite personal limitations.

"I'll give it a try... he knew that that was not my comfort zone, but that was something he wanted to do, so I'll give it a try." — Jay Laffoon [18:12]

Laura echoes this sentiment by sharing her experience with sidewalk chalk, reinforcing the need for dads to embrace activities that may seem daunting or unfamiliar.

"Sometimes it's scary. Sometimes it's just inconvenient. But when you step outside of your comfort zone and your kids notice, how." — Jay Laffoon [20:06]

Letting Kids See Fathers' Emotions

A significant takeaway from the episode is the importance of fathers expressing their emotions, thereby teaching children that it's safe to do the same. Jay emphasizes the value of showing vulnerability.

"I wanted my kids to see when I was sad. I wanted them to see when I was angry... they're going to realize you're human and that you express emotions, and it's safe for them to express emotions." — Jay Laffoon [23:31]

Teaching Intentional Prayer

The episode concludes with a focus on incorporating prayer into daily activities. Jay suggests walking around the neighborhood with children and praying for neighbors, making prayer a natural and approachable practice.

"Take some intentional time to just pray. God, little Jimmy, he's Tori's best friend. Would you give him a good day today? Boom." — Jay Laffoon [24:53]

Conclusion

Jim Daly wraps up the episode by reiterating the value of the Ultimate Dad Night book and encouraging listeners to engage in the provided activities to strengthen their family bonds.

"Make a gift of any amount. Jump on board with us. Let's save more marriages, save more families, save babies from abortion." — Jim Daly [26:01]

Jay and Laura thank the hosts and listeners, sharing final thoughts on the impact of their activities and encouraging continued fatherly engagement.

"And so at 14, my parents had to coach me in biblical stress management... the Lord began to lead me into this deeply restful lifestyle." — Jay Laffoon [26:46]

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Key Takeaways:

• Active Father Involvement: Essential for building strong family bonds and modeling Christian values.
• Overcoming Fears: Fathers should strive to engage in activities outside their comfort zones to foster meaningful connections.
• Emotional Expression: Demonstrating vulnerability teaches children that it's okay to express their own emotions.
• Intentional Prayer: Incorporating prayer into daily routines reinforces a faith-based lifestyle.
• Practical Resources: The Ultimate Dad Night book offers 75 activities designed to help fathers engage joyfully and effectively with their children.

Call to Action: Listeners are encouraged to obtain the Ultimate Dad Night book, participate in suggested activities, and consider supporting Focus on the Family to further their mission of strengthening marriages and families.

For more information and to request the book, visit the show notes or call 1-800-THE-LETTER.

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This episode serves as a valuable resource for fathers seeking to deepen their relationship with their children through fun, faith-based activities. By addressing common challenges and providing actionable solutions, Focus on the Family with Jim Daly empowers dads to become more engaged and impactful in their parenting journey.

Transcript

[Jay Laffoon]

It was just, it was a great memory. I don't remember the spiritual significance of that one. I really don't. It was just plain fun. And that's another thing, stuff in this book is just fun, you know, and again, the minor things, making memories with your children, I think that's what, at least at my age, that's what I cherish is those memories.

[John Fuller]

Well, that's Jay Leffoon and he and his wife Laura join us today on FOCUS on the FAMILY with Jim Daly. And they're going to be talking about about activities you can do as a mom or a dad with your kids. Thanks for joining us. I'm John Fuller.

[Jim Daly]

You know, it's possible you're just getting through the motions of life. You're busy. You may have a job outside the home as a mom and probably as a dad, you're working hard. And it comes to that point when you're going, man, we're just going through the motions. Listen, focus on the family. We don't want you to simply survive. We want you to thrive as you are married and building your marriage and especially on parenting, too, so you're able to thrive in Christ, which is I a great slogan.

[John Fuller]

That is the goal.

[Jim Daly]

And I appreciate that. And today we're going to talk specifically about how to do that in the parenting journey, particularly for dads. But there's application for mom, too. But dads, we need to be engaged. It's not just mom's job to raise the kids. And I hope we prove that to you today.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. Jay and Laura Laffoon are authors and speakers and they've written a terrific little book called ultimate dad night. 75amazing activities for dads and kids. You, you can learn more in the show notes.

[Jim Daly]

Jay and Laura, welcome back to focus.

[Jay Laffoon]

Great to be here.

[Laura Laffoon]

Good to be here.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, it's always fun. Let me just get to the point. Why do dads struggle to engage? Now, let me give dads some relief because one of the things I experienced with Trent and Troy when they were like less than 2, I didn't know what to do with them. I wasn't great at changing the diapers. I wasn't big on feeding them with the spoon and then them spit it all up. Of course I did it. Gene was far better at that. But I remember thinking to myself, like most of us dads, when does this change? When can they throw a ball? When can they run with me outside? When can we do some kind of action? So speak to that issue of dad engagement and we kind of start Slow. I think.

[Jay Laffoon]

I think for me, I was afraid I was gonna break them. I mean, seriously, you know, here's this little person and she was great with them. And I think part of it is the whole concept of it's something new, it's a new person, and how do we. Yeah, you know, how do we relate to them? And I think for most men, it's fear. There's a fear.

[Jim Daly]

That's interesting. Yeah.

[Jay Laffoon]

And that fear translates into flight. You know, it's fight or flight. It turns into flight for a lot of guys. And when really children want their dads to be involved in their life, children want that even from the earliest age. And that's why I think this book is so important, is because it gives dad's opportunity to do things. Because as men, we like to participate in activities together and not just sit and talk. And this is what this is all about for the dads.

[Jim Daly]

Okay, thank you, Jay. Let's go to the expert. Laura, you're the observer. Mom, why do you think dads struggle to engage?

[Laura Laffoon]

I think it's the way God's created us as women. We're more nurturing as men. I don't know what you guys are.

[Jim Daly]

We're gonna keep you off balance.

[Laura Laffoon]

You're something, but, you know, you are something, but we're more nurturing. So it's just that we're more relational in that. So we automatically. And there's something inside a woman that just. I need to take care of this person. It also applies to our husbands. I need to take care of you. And so I think for men there's a. At least for the men. I've observed when a new baby comes into your life, there's a bit of a power struggle. You know, my wife is now taking care of this. She's not taking care of me anymore.

[Jay Laffoon]

We're the little boy. Exactly.

[Laura Laffoon]

I want to be taken care of. So I think that starts it, but I think it's also exactly what Jay said. It's. I don't know what to do. I just know from observing him, he was like, I don't know what to do with this child. Just tell me what to, you know, how do I change the diaper? How. And for women, sometimes we just. I don't know why. We just know how to do that. But we do. And, you know, it just was it. I feel like it's just a God given innate ability that we have. And it's not that God didn't give men that, but men are more companion oriented. Even when you talk about marriage. Men want to do stuff with their wife. They don't want to. Like Jay said, we don't want to sit and talk and share our feelings and all that stuff. They want to, let's go ride a bike, let's go play golf. Let's go. So it's that. It's not that they don't want to be with their kids. They just. When they're little, you can't forget throw a ball. You can't make them run. They can do that.

[Jim Daly]

Things become much more exciting. When they could do that with me, I was much more engaged.

[Laura Laffoon]

And it's a lot easier then. Now I know what to do. Now it's into my territory.

[Jim Daly]

Now I know what to do. Let me move to Laura Yu. What would you say to wives who want to see their husbands get more involved? And you know, it's kind of one of those things. And this is a natural thing for a wife to do. Honey, I think you should. And fill in the blank. How does an effective wife notice that there's maybe not the engagement level that she would like?

[Laura Laffoon]

Right.

[Jim Daly]

And then how does she spur her man on to become more the father she wants him to be?

[Laura Laffoon]

I can answer that a couple different ways. First of all, you're right. We try and tell this is you should do this, you should do that. What we need to do. And I hope that women who maybe buy this book for their husbands will realize, let him be who he is. You know, don't. I would never tell Jay to take our son to a monster truck rally because he wouldn't do that anyway. He would take our son golfing. But you know, let them be who they are and let that come out naturally. If, in fact, if you were to get this book for your husband, you know, first of all, 75amazing activities a man's going to go. 75. Where do I start? Well, you could go ahead as a wife and just put in some little post it notes or whatever. Maybe five or six.

[Jay Laffoon]

This one sounds like you, honey.

[Laura Laffoon]

But then just give it. Don't say anything here. I've already like tagged some for you if you want to. The other thing is, we need to realize as women that our husbands are not mind readers. And they don't get subtle hint and innuendo. So it's the classic if you take a trash can out and stick it in the middle of the floor and say the trash is full.

[Jay Laffoon]

Yes, it is.

[Laura Laffoon]

Exactly.

[Jim Daly]

You're observant.

[Laura Laffoon]

So instead of could you take out the trash and so it's the same thing when it comes to your kids. Could you help me give the kids a bath? So could you give them baths on Monday, Wednesday, Friday?

[Jim Daly]

Well, in that context, that is helpful and husbands should receive it that way. It's good help to know what the Runway lights, where are they going? What are you expecting of me? I would appreciate that as much as possible.

[Laura Laffoon]

But then as a wife, we also have to watch our tone of voice that we don't become. You should know how to do this.

[Jim Daly]

Thank you. I was gonna ask you to demonstrate that to me.

[Laura Laffoon]

The nagging of why can't you do this? You know, whatever. So I'm gonna get myself in trouble.

[Jim Daly]

Hey, before I throw one Jay's way here, let's end with another one for you, Laura, in this book. Again, this doesn't exclude moms from participation and just speak to that relevance that we want moms involved if they can be. And dad has a plan for that and it works out. So this isn't about just compartmentalizing fun with dad.

[Laura Laffoon]

Right? It's not. The intent was to just give men ideas for things that they can do with their k can participate. It could be a family activity. I know for us, we've, we've done several of them together. But also it seems like when we as women go with, again, let him be the leader in doing the activity. Don't try and take over and say, oh, we should have done this this way. We should have gone to this ice cream place instead of that ice cream place or whatever it might be. Or as a mom, a grandma, you can use the book too for the activities. It doesn't necessarily just have to be.

[Jay Laffoon]

For dads, but because we run into a lot of grandparents who are parenting their grandkids and again, for grandparents who are looking for something to do, another great resource.

[Jim Daly]

The good thing is you'll forget you did it and you can do it again. Let's get into a couple of these just as examples so that folks listening and the YouTube watchers, they can get an idea. One John that you picked out as you went through the book was funny because this is for an older child, obviously.

[John Fuller]

Well, yeah, you can start young. I mean, it's detailing your car. It's sort of like wash and detail.

[Jim Daly]

The car, two year old detailing car.

[John Fuller]

But I'm just saying this is on page 76. You might have to go back and redo it. But I love the idea because it's an activity, but it also benefits me. It does cause a little extra work however, in training, right?

[Jay Laffoon]

Yeah, but you can let the six year old hold the Windex and the papers out.

[John Fuller]

Describe what that one is all about.

[Jay Laffoon]

Well, that one is about the fact that as you do this work together, as you're cleaning this car, you're clearly spending time with your child. You're teaching your child healthy work ethic and healthy habits to keep your car clean. I mean, there's just a million things that are behind the scenes. But it's also that God cares about every detail of our life. And these are the simple things we've done in this book is to just say, this isn't rocket science. We're not talking about deep theology. But dads, don't you want your kids to know? Moms, don't you want your kids to know that God cares about every detail of our life?

[Jim Daly]

Yeah. You know what pops to my mind is a great proverb that says, train up a child in the way he or she should go and when they are old they won't depart from it. And these are simple things that you're talking about. How to, you know, there is no thing cleanliness is next to godliness in the Bible. But order, you know, doing order from chaos is certainly a good steward of.

[Jay Laffoon]

What we've been given.

[Jim Daly]

So those concepts I'm getting at, that's the point you're making?

[Jay Laffoon]

I think so. And I think this is cliche, but more is caught than taught. You know, you're going to demonstrate, you're going to model this behavior for your children.

[Jim Daly]

What was another one that you enjoyed with your kids as they were growing up?

[Jay Laffoon]

I was telling Laura, we went on vacation. Our son was six, Laura was pregnant with our daughter. And my parents were there, a couple other relatives were there and we had this giant water balloon fight. And my six year old could not believe that we were going to have this water balloon fight. And I mean, he was just giddy. And of course, you know, you nailed him, right? He was on my team. We nailed Grandma.

[Jim Daly]

Poor Grandma. That's terrible. Don't write or call us. Send your notes to Jack.

[Jay Laffoon]

What he didn't realize was that we were at a rental house, you know, for the vacation and we had to pick up all the balloons when we were done, you know, but it was just, it was a great memory. I don't remember the spiritual significance of that one. I really don't. It was just plain fun. And that's another thing, stuff in this book is just fun, you know, and again, the minor things, making memories with your children. I Think that's what, at least at my age, that's what I cherish is those memories.

[Jim Daly]

Well, and there's, you know, now that my boys are 24 and 22, I think they have forgotten it, right. And they'll come back to something. When they were a single digit young man, 6 and 8, let's say they'll say, dad, you remember when we did. I'm going, no, I don't. But it stuck with them. They do remember those moments. And I think our brain chemistry kind of fires that way. God created us that way. When something exciting happens or fun like that, it sears into our brain and our memory. Speaking of that, Laura, I wanted to ask you about the benefits of dads engaging and playing with their kids. You did a little bit of research on the benefits of that. What are they?

[Laura Laffoon]

You know, I think the benefits of a dad playing in a culture where men not of their own accord, have taken a back seat, have taken a beating, have taken a, you know, we're not as important. I think when a dad is engaged with a son or a daughter, there's a relationship that's built that is not acknowledged by our culture. When Jay would, one of the things he would do with our daughter was he would take her on dad daughter dates. Sometimes it was a dress up date. The big thing right now is these daddy daughter dances where they all get dressed up, but you're teaching your daughter how she should expect to be treated by a man. And he would take her and they would go, Sometimes it was just ice cream, but it was just the two of them. And then obviously he would do stuff with our son. And I think for a child, when someone starts talking to you about God the father, God is our father. If you don't have a father model in your brain, you can't understand that. And so when a man takes a role in the life of his child, they are more able to see when someone says God the father, to go, oh, like my dad, so he's gonna be like a dad. And that feels a little more personal, feels a little more. So I think one of the benefits is that you exemplify God the father. When you are a dad getting involved in the life of your child, you're modeling that. Yes.

[Jim Daly]

No, that's so true. Or you're damaging that, right?

[Laura Laffoon]

Either way, yes.

[Jim Daly]

You know, there's so many stories in that regard. You know, people from within the church, dads from within the church will get letters from their adult daughters who will say, my dad did not really portray a Godly man, for whatever reason, you can fill in the blank from really horrific things to just anger or things like that. It's a good reminder for all of us as parents to make sure that you're thinking of that long game, you know, when you face the Lord, can you say to the Lord, I did the best job possible to parent and to steward that child you gave me or those children you gave me. What a great place to start. To keep your day by day attitude in check. So that you're doing the best you can doesn't mean you're going to lose it. You may, and you got to go back in and then apologize. But it's probably one of the things that grieves my heart the most when we get communication here at Focus about a seriously damaged person because their parents who claim to be Christian did not live up to it. And these children tend to go far away from the Lord because of that. Think of that. And we need to make sure we're doing all we can. So in this way you're doing those things. So try to live a life that is in alignment with the scripture, knowing that we're not perfect. Tell your kids you're not perfect.

[Laura Laffoon]

Right.

[Jim Daly]

It's a good thing.

[Laura Laffoon]

Exactly.

[Jay Laffoon]

And whether we believe it or not, our kids are watching us like hawks.

[Jim Daly]

More than anybody in our lives. Maybe outside of our wives. I don't know, Laura. Some moms can get discouraged because they have to deal with those hard or boring parts of parenting. I mean, moms particular. I was thinking of Jane. She did biochemistry, you know, she could have been a veterinarian. That was her goal. But she chose to let's have children and that's what I'm going to pour my life into. And she did it very willingly and wanted to. And my boys were the beneficiaries of having a great mom. Speak to that kind of thing where how you as a mom are saying, okay, this is the decision I'm going to make. This is the call I have, this is what I'm going to do.

[Laura Laffoon]

Yes, I felt, I knew from a very early age I was called I, I was going to be a mom. I loved kids. I worked at the church nursery as a pre adolescent. I was, give me the nursery work, I want to be in there. I loved kids and so I knew that wasn't a difficult decision for me. I knew I'd been called to ministry, that we were going to work together in ministry. But I knew working in ministry was a way I could be flexible with our life. I Could be flexible with being home with the kids, but I know some moms deal with, well, how come I have to be the bad parent and he gets to be the fun parent?

[Jim Daly]

Did you ever say that to Jay?

[Jay Laffoon]

No.

[Laura Laffoon]

No, because ours was opposite.

[John Fuller]

You were the fun one.

[Jay Laffoon]

I grew up in a home. My father was a minister who was in the military.

[Jim Daly]

Oh, good.

[Jay Laffoon]

So I was left, right?

[Jim Daly]

Left.

[Jay Laffoon]

Yes, exactly. So I was the bad guy in our home.

[Laura Laffoon]

And when you traveled, you were speaking. He was traveling and speaking before we were doing that together. And so whenever he was gone for the weekend, the kids and I had a party. I mean, that was just. We ate out at McDonald's. We played games, pizza. We didn't do. Do anything.

[Jay Laffoon]

I'd come home, the house was a mess.

[Laura Laffoon]

But we still had those conversations. We still had those conversations of how come I have to be the stern parent and you get to be the fun parent. And I had to realize that, you know, that really is not fair. I need to be on a team with him, and we have to come at this as a united front. And. And that was just when our kids would say, can I go spend the night at Daniel's house? Our son would say, can I go spend the night at Daniel's house? I would say, we have to wait, and dad and I talk about it. We have to present that reunited front.

[Jay Laffoon]

And I think Laura had some unique challenges that can relate to some of what you're talking about in that I got to go to some amazing places as a speaker. And she was like, you never said.

[Jim Daly]

That on the phone, did you?

[Jay Laffoon]

No, man.

[Jim Daly]

You wouldn't believe.

[Jay Laffoon]

This was short. And she was like, why am I the one that has to stay home? And so I think every couple struggles with that is, you know, just balancing that whole.

[Jim Daly]

What did you say?

[Jay Laffoon]

It was a dump, honey. It was just a total dump.

[Laura Laffoon]

Unless the kids got older, we went with them.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, that's.

[Laura Laffoon]

And so that was the. That was the best answer. But I think also, as a woman realizing, you know, this is the way God has again created us.

[John Fuller]

And, Jay, one of the ideas is to kind of stretch outside of your comfort zone. So what's the importance of that? Why should my kids see me maybe failing? Because, like, I just hear failure when I stretch outside of my comfort zone.

[Jay Laffoon]

Yes.

[John Fuller]

Let's try a new activity. It'll be dangerous. It might go south, but let's try it. I'm not wired that way.

[Jay Laffoon]

Right.

[John Fuller]

A lot of guys aren't gonna go there. Why should we?

[Jim Daly]

That's Good.

[John Fuller]

Well, there is a pride issue, I.

[Jay Laffoon]

Will tell you that. We've got a rock climbing wall at our college, and I am short in stature, I am stocky, I'm thick. Climbing rocks is not something that I was designed to do, but our son wanted to do it. And so I said, I'll give it a try. And of course, he just scampered right up the wall. You know, eight or nine years old, had no fear. And I got about halfway up and then I was done. I just couldn't. But I tried. And I think for another great lesson for your kids is that you gave it a try, you put some effort into it. He knew that that was not my comfort zone, but that was something he wanted to do, so I'll give it a try. Thank goodness he never wanted to do it again. No.

[Jim Daly]

I had a similar experience with Troy, my younger son. We went to something that Focus does from time to time, ventures in fatherhood. So these are dads, and they're 12 to 18 year old children, either a son or a daughter. And I took Troy, I took him a year too early, but, you know, because it was a Focus event, I could sneak them in. But we're up on the prowl in the Sierra Madres in California, and this thing's like a 200 foot drop and we're roped in and he's trying to come over this rock face. He slams into the rock in front of him and he starts crying. And I'm holding my weight. I'm a big guy like you, right? And I'm going to Troy. Man, we got to get down. I know you're afraid. Just work your way down when you can. I've got to go. And then I was gone. And I get to the bottom, I'm waiting for him. So my face, seeing him in tears, I felt horrible. And then he lands and he looks at me and goes, dad, that was so much fun. We got to do that again. And I was like, oh, my, what a man we have become in 200ft. And that's your point. And the other thing is three of the six dads in our little pod had to bail out because of height. And that night we're doing a devotion around the campfire. And to hear their 10, 11, 12 year olds go, dad, why are you afraid? They have never seen their father afraid. And they had to say something in the middle of this devotional to say, you know, I don't like heights, or however they wanted to express that. But I think the kids were again amazed Because I think so often kids look at their fathers as perfect or flawless or they're big and they're, you know, they're my dad, and they can do anything. Right? That's what we think at that age.

[Jay Laffoon]

I was more out of my comfort zone with our daughter, doing things with her, you know? You know what I'm saying? Because, dad, let's go do sidewalk chalk. Well, first of all, I'm not artistic. Second of all, I don't like stuff on my finger. I mean, it's all this stuff. I'm thinking, I don't want to do that. But that's what she wanted to do. And so sometimes it's scary. Sometimes it's just inconvenient. But when you step outside of your comfort zone and your kids notice, how.

[Jim Daly]

Do you encourage Jay dads to set that example for kids on practically following God and serving others? These are all little, like you said, life lessons, but they should have an aim again.

[Jay Laffoon]

I think as a dad, it's best done through activity. Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

Shoulder to shoulder.

[Jay Laffoon]

Exactly. One of the things that we did, and our kids will remember it to this day, and they talk about it, is we had woman in our neighborhood who was recently widowed, and it was fallen Michigan, and that means there are leaves everywhere. And our small group said, let's get all of our family. You know, you bring all your kids, we'll bring all our kids, and we'll do Mrs. Phillipon's yard in an hour or so. And we did. And we had fun while we were doing it because it was so many people. And Mrs. Phillipon was flabbergasted. She couldn't believe someone would do this for her. And, you know, we had an opportunity that evening to talk about it, what it meant to the children. You know, what did you learn today? That we really need to serve other people. And that when you do serve other people, you bless them. And, I mean, our kids were maybe 13 and 6 at the time. It's not like they were older, but they really learned that because we went out and we did service together. And churches offer stuff like this all the time that you can do with your kids, so take advantage of that.

[Jim Daly]

Laura, you jumped in on that one, right?

[Laura Laffoon]

Oh, yeah. Raking. Sure. I brought the lemonade. No, no, we did. It was a fun day. And it's fall in Michigan, so the kids were playing in the leaves, and then they'd have to rake them back up. But I was gonna say it's about the failure. I think it's good to let your Kids see you fail. Good to let your kids see that you have fears, and also letting them know that fear's not a bad thing. But what I'm afraid of might be different than what you're afraid of. You know, I'm afraid of bridges over water, and my kids used to think that was hilarious. Why? I said, because I'm afraid the car is going to go off the edge of the. That just. It was something that I'd been afraid of since I was young. And the kids are like, okay, I can understand that. You know, I can't. I don't necessarily understand it, but I'm going to let you be afraid, Mom. I'm not going to make fun of you. But allowing kids to realize that what you're afraid of isn't necessarily what I'm afraid of, but we all have fear, and what we do with it makes a difference.

[Jay Laffoon]

I think the overarching idea here is to let your kids see you have emotions.

[Jim Daly]

It's a good thing.

[Jay Laffoon]

Yeah, it's a good thing.

[Jim Daly]

Dads struggle with that.

[Jay Laffoon]

I know, and I don't understand why, because maybe I'm different. But I wanted my kids to see when I was sad. I wanted them to see when I was angry. But to be angry and not explode, this really is not something I'm happy about. But I'm not going to explode over it. Or, you know, to let them see you cry if, you know. And not that it's a big. You're going to ball your eyes out, but have that tear run down your cheek. They're going to realize you're human and that you express emotions, and it's safe for them to express emotions.

[Jim Daly]

It's a good thing. Right at the end here, you did have an activity or two in the area of teaching your children to be intentional about prayer. So let's connect that right at the end here. That, to me, is probably the most important lesson you could ever share with your child, is how to take your needs and pains to the Lord.

[Jay Laffoon]

We no longer live in a neighborhood. We live in around a block kind of neighborhood, but we lived in town, had a block. And one of the things that we encourage dads to do is to take your children with around the block. And as you go around the block, say, hey, there's the Smiths. That's the family that right now, they just lost their grandfather. Can we pray for them just as we're walking?

[Jim Daly]

Oh, interesting.

[Jay Laffoon]

And okay, here's your best buddy. Why don't we pray for him that he has A good day today. And as you go around the block, you know, at least in our small town, you know everybody. And so take some intentional time to just pray. And again, men fear this. It doesn't have to be some big elaborate prayer, just God, little Jimmy, he's Tori's best friend. Would you give him a good day today? Boom. The Lord hears that and the kids hear you talking to God like he's approachable, right? And that's huge.

[Jim Daly]

That's so good. Well, what a good place to end. And again, you got 75amazing activities for dads and kids. Make a gift of any amount. Jump on board with us. Let's save more marriages, save more families, save babies from abortion. When you give to focus, that's what it goes to. A bunch of good stuff. And why don't you make a gift of any amount, five, ten dollars. And we'll send you this great resource, Ultimate Dad Night as our way of saying thank you for being part of the ministry for grandparents. Get it for your adult children, have that discussion with your son or your son in law and say, here's a way to engage your kids and it can be fun and not fearful.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. Get in touch. Request this book. Donate as you can. The details are in the show notes or call 1-800-the letter A in the word.

[Jim Daly]

Jan, Laura, it's so good to have you. Thanks for coming.

[Jay Laffoon]

Hey, it's our pleasure.

[Laura Laffoon]

Our pleasure.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah. And if you want to come visit the campus, we've got a great welcome center with lots of activities. We've got a soda shop, a little snack shop, along with a great bookstore. Make it a plan to come and visit us this summer along with probably another hundred thousand people that love to do that. So be part of it. Come see the campus. We'd love to host you.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. And all the details for a campus visit are going to be online. We'll link over to those in the show notes as well and plan to join us next time as we hear from Erin Lynam. She'll explain how rest can radically transform your way of living.

[Jay Laffoon]

And so at 14, my parents had to coach me in biblical stress management. And taking every anxiety, every thought to the Lord, stepping back in prayer. And that's truly where the Lord began to lead me into this deeply restful lifestyle.

[John Fuller]

On behalf of the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

[Laura Laffoon]

If the fights with your spouse have become unbearable. If you feel like you can't take it anymore, there's still hope. Hope Restored Marriage Intensives have helped thousands of couples like yours. And our biblically based counseling will help you find the root of your problems and face them together. Call us at 1-866-875-2915. We'll talk with you, pray with you, and help you find out which program will work best. That's 1-866-875-2915.