Podcast Summary: "How to Cultivate Lasting Love"

Podcast: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Air Date: January 23, 2026
Guests: Ashley and Dino Petrone
Host(s): Jim Daly & John Fuller
Theme: Building an intentional, resilient marriage by embracing challenges, communicating authentically, and learning to find joy (and God’s purposes) in every season—drawing from both home renovation experiences and spiritual growth.

Episode Overview

This engaging episode centers on the marriage journey of Ashley and Dino Petrone, authors of Designed to Last: Our Journey of Building an Intentional Home, Growing in Faith, and Finding Joy in the In Between. Jim Daly, John Fuller, and the Petrones discuss how home renovation mirrors the process of building a strong marriage and family, with relatable anecdotes about early-married life, challenges, and growing in faith. The couple shares how embracing hard things as a team has deepened their relationship, offering practical encouragement for couples in all seasons.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Link Between Home Projects and Marital Growth

• Analogy of Remodeling and Marriage:

  • Dino compares home projects to marriage, highlighting how tackling new challenges together forces couples to learn new dynamics of respect, teamwork, and empathy.
  • “Things that are important to you should be important to me. And I shouldn’t just poo poo them and throw them to the side.” —Dino Petrone (00:55, 18:36)

• Learning Each Other’s Strengths:

  • Early on, both wanted to "drive" on projects, which caused friction, but finding complementary roles created better teamwork (16:41–17:14).
  • “Let you do the things that you’re strong at, and let me do the things that I’m strong at, and then we work so well together. That’s hard to do, though.” —Ashley Petrone (17:14)

2. Early Marriage: Unexpected Adjustments and Challenges

• Rapid Engagement, Young Marriage:

  • Set up by their mothers, married after a whirlwind courtship (03:23–04:22).
  • “We were actually engaged four weeks after that first setup.” —Dino Petrone (04:12)

• Leaving Family—Ten and a Half Months of Tears:

  • Moving away from family proved emotionally difficult, but forced growth and independence (05:08–05:25).
  • “It was the ultimate leave and cleave for sure. So it was…the best things we’ve done.” —Ashley Petrone (05:11)

• Struggles with Personal Habits:

  • Dino reflects on video gaming and a focus on “me” rather than “us.”
  • “It was heavily about me and not us. I didn’t care about the benefits of what we could get. I just cared about what I could get.” —Dino Petrone (08:28)
  • Ashley shares how early counseling was helpful and there was “no shame in that” (09:04–09:20).

3. Navigating Loss and Valleys Together

• Miscarriage:

  • The couple shares candidly about their heartbreak of miscarriage and how it was their first “punch in the gut” (10:00–11:17).
  • “It was also a time...for us to just connect together and really just have peace with the Lord during that time…count it all joy.” —Ashley Petrone (10:23)

• Spiritual Growth in Trials:

  • “There is a depth in those valleys that you cannot get anywhere else. And it is one of the greatest gifts…our faith is so strong, is because we’ve seen what he’s done through those valleys.” —Ashley Petrone (12:16)

4. The Temptation to Change Your Spouse

• Mindset Shift: Releasing Control:

  • Ashley admits wanting to “change everything about Dino” but realized the need to step back and let God do that work (13:28–15:27).
  • “What a burden I was carrying around trying to do that…He does it way better than I ever could.” —Ashley Petrone (15:28)

• Mutual Influence and Growth:

  • Jim validates that spouses often sharpen one another, especially spiritually (14:37–15:10).

5. Choosing the Harder Path

• Leaving Comfort—The RV Story:

  • The Petrones sold their comfortable home, moved into a tiny RV, expecting to build a house quickly; reality was much longer and harder (19:23–20:11).
  • “We were delusional...but in that year and a half, we realized it was not about building the house.“ —Dino Petrone (19:33)

• Growth by Stripping Away Comforts:

  • Living in tight quarters forced better conflict resolution—no escape during arguments, learning to face issues (20:42–21:00).
  • “There was no places to argue, so we had to do it…You couldn’t just, like, storm off...There was no other side of the house.” —Ashley Petrone (20:42)

• Finding Joy in the ‘In Between’:

  • With comforts stripped away, they looked for “the good things in our marriage…let’s put our foot on the gas on those things” (21:30).
  • Focusing on encouragement, not criticism, changed everything.
    • “I encourage you and say, you do what you want to do, but I’m going to give you a high five if you’re doing great…and it just made me desire to…change who I am so that her and I could be something that’s different together.” —Dino Petrone (22:04–22:27)

6. Practical Encouragement for Spouses

• Training the Mind—Taking Thoughts Captive:
  • Ashley describes the “discipline of the mind” necessary for lasting change in marriage.
  • “It’s a discipline of the mind…when something pops up, it’s ‘No, I love Dino...’ And even if you can’t think of things, you can dig deep and find things about that person.” —Ashley Petrone (23:41–24:10)

7. Embracing Hard Things for Lasting Reward

• Choosing Difficulty for Growth:
  • Dino shares a powerful personal vision:
    • “By choosing to do the hard things in life, you get significant, better improvements in your life...He spoke to my heart and said, ‘You can go which way you want to...I have something that’s different, that is a harder path. But there’s some really cool stuff on this.’” —Dino Petrone (24:52–25:30)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dino Petrone (on marriage and projects):
  “It allowed me to say, hey, I do care about the paint color in this scenario because it’s important to you. Right? And that’s how we should be in marriage.” (00:44, 18:36)
• Ashley Petrone (on criticism):
  “I realized and God was showing me...Let me change Dino. Let me work on Dino and do these things. You don't have to do that.” (15:10)
• Jim Daly (on valleys in life):
  “Mountaintop people are not very deep, in my opinion…It’s almost like when you go through a valley, you go through a trial, that’s where the Lord shows up, and that’s where you lean into him.” (12:08)
• Dino Petrone (on doing hard things): “Being a man who has the ability to do hard things is a skill set that I want to be able to…That’s the man I want to be.” (24:52)
• Ashley Petrone (on the discipline of the mind):
  “The Bible says to hold our thoughts captive, and it is doing that. It’s a discipline of the mind.” (23:41)

Key Segment Timestamps

• Marriage & Remodel Analogy: 00:31–01:46, 16:05–18:40
• How They Met / Early Marriage: 03:12–06:43
• First Years — Tears & Growing Pains: 06:06–09:20
• Miscarriage and Valleys: 10:00–12:16
• Trying To Change Each Other: 13:28–15:40
• Conflict During Home Projects: 16:31–18:41
• RV/Trailer Living and Growth: 19:23–22:27
• Encouragement, Thoughts & the Mind: 23:33–24:25
• Choosing Harder Path (Spiritual Lesson): 24:52–25:48

Conclusion & Takeaways

The Petrone’s story is a testament to the fruit that comes from intentionally embracing life’s challenges together—whether building a home or a family. Their honest experiences show that joy, depth, and transformation are found not in the avoidance of hard things, but in facing them with faith and a willingness to grow. Releasing the urge to “fix” your spouse, choosing deep respect, and cultivating spiritual disciplines are recurring themes. Their encouragement: find joy in the "in between," let God do His work, and don’t shy away from hard things—the best growth happens there.

For More:
Visit FocusOnTheFamily.com for resources from Ashley and Dino Petrone, including their book, podcast, and website Arrows and Bow.

“Let’s put our foot on the gas on those things [that bring joy]…see what could happen if we really invested in our marriage.” —Dino Petrone (21:30)