Focus on the Family with Jim Daly

Episode Summary: Joyfully Embracing God’s Children (Part 1 of 2)

Date: February 24, 2026
Guests: Heather & Josh Avis
Host(s): Jim Daly, John Fuller

Overview

In this heartfelt episode, Jim Daly and John Fuller sit down with Heather and Josh Avis, a couple whose family story was transformed by infertility, adoption, and an ever-deepening understanding of God’s calling on their lives. Sharing candidly, the Avaises recount their hopes, disappointments, and the surprising journey which led them to embrace children from hard places—including a daughter with Down syndrome. The conversation explores the intersections of faith, disappointment, perseverance, and the messy, beautiful reality of stepping into God’s purposes for families in need.

Key Discussion Points

1. The Early Years: Marriage & Adventure (03:06–06:41)

• Heather and Josh met as teenagers through Heather’s older sister; they married at 20 after dating through college.
• Their early marriage was marked by adventure, including six months living in Hawaii before settling in Southern California and starting their careers.
  • Quote (Heather, 04:15): “We grew up together. ... I just see God’s hand on us, and I’m so thankful.”
• Life seemed to follow a “normal” rhythm, but their path to parenthood took an unexpected turn.

2. Facing Infertility: Disappointment and Faith (06:41–14:47)

• After four years of marriage, Heather and Josh decided to start their family, assuming success would follow easily.
  • Quote (Heather, 07:01): “A few months turn into more, months turn into years, and we just find ourselves on that grueling path of infertility.”
• The emotional pain was acute when friends, family, and even Heather’s students became pregnant.
  • Memorable story: Heather consoles a pregnant 15-year-old student while wrestling with her own pain (08:52).
  • Quote (Heather, 08:52): “She’s crying and I’m crying—partly for her, but mostly for me. Like, how is this possible, God? This girl’s pregnant. This one here. Really?”
• Heather communicates deep honesty about her frustration with God and church expectations.
  • Quote (Heather, 09:35): “His goodness and his faithfulness and his love for me do not hinge on my ability to get pregnant or not. They are what they are. God is God.”
• Josh reflects on needing to “sit in it” and not rush solutions.
  • Quote (Josh, 12:05): “Suggestions and solutions aren’t going to be helpful right now. Just sit in it. Sit in it with your wives.”

3. Considering Adoption: Letting Go of Old Plans (14:47–18:55)

• After exhausting other medical options, the couple confronts the finality of their infertility diagnosis.
  • The decision between IVF and adoption: IVF isn’t a path they want to take.
  • Both had always thought they’d adopt eventually, but didn’t expect it so soon.
  • Quote (Josh, 16:05): “What we thought we were going to do...was we’ll have our own biological kids, and then we’ll adopt.”
• They meet a Christian adoptive family whose normalcy and love inspire them.
  • Quote (Heather, 17:24): “What we just experienced was family.”
• The adoption process introduces them to the sometimes uncomfortable reality of “checkboxes” for desired child characteristics.
  • Memorable moment (Heather, 18:12): Describing the oddity of forms asking if you’d accept “head-knocking children” or “children who set things on fire.”
  • Quote (Heather, 18:36): “When we started on the adoption path, our goal was grow our family—not know more about the Lord, not see his heart for orphans. None of that. It was all selfish.”

4. God’s Gentle Redirection: The Down Syndrome Email (19:17–22:42)

• While leading a missions trip in Romania, Heather receives an email from their adoption agency—“We have a couple babies with Down syndrome placed with our agency. It’s always hard to find placements for them.”
• Instant, internal turmoil as God begins to stir Heather’s heart.
  • Quote (Heather, 20:28): “God did something in my heart when I read those words, babies with Down syndrome. And it was instantaneous. ... I was not excited about this. ... I was like, no, no, no, no, no.”
• Josh’s willingness to pray about adopting a child with special needs surprises Heather.
  • Quote (Josh, 21:50): “If this was the reason we were going and this is the direction we’re going to, then let’s step in that direction.”
• Heather and Josh both admit to resisting God’s leading, but continue to take small steps forward.
  • Quote (Heather, 22:26): “We weren’t these amazing holy saints. We were fighting what God had laid before us, fighting against it. And God kept meeting us with, okay, let’s keep moving forward.”

Memorable Quotes & Key Moments (with Timestamps)

• God’s Heartbeat in Hard Places (Heather, 00:30):
  • “Where God resides, where his heart beats the loudest is not in those easy, comfortable places. ... You’re missing out on the heartbeat of God if you [avoid hard places].”
• Anguish Over Injustice (Heather, 08:52):
  • [Describing her student’s pregnancy] “She’s crying and I’m crying—partly for her, but mostly for me. ... How is this possible, God? This girl’s pregnant. This one here. Really?”
• God’s Faithfulness Beyond Circumstances (Heather, 09:35):
  • “His goodness and his faithfulness and his love for me do not hinge on my ability to get pregnant or not.”
• Advice for Husbands in Trials (Josh, 12:05):
  • “Suggestions and solutions aren’t going to be helpful right now. Just sit in it. Sit in it with your wives.”
• First Glimpse of Adoption’s Normalcy (Heather, 17:24):
  • “What we just experienced was family.”
• The Reality of Adoption Checklists (Heather, 18:12):
  • “It was a very, very interesting concept to get. So, you know, would you accept head knocking children? Children that set things on fire?”
• Moving from Selfishness to Surrender (Heather, 18:36):
  • “At first... it was all selfish. Just, I’m going to grow my family.”
• God Redirects Their Story (Heather, 20:28):
  • “[I read] babies with Down syndrome...I was not excited ... I was like, no, no, no, no, no.”
  • “[Josh responded] yeah, I think we should pray about that.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Marriage background & early years: 03:06–06:41
• Infertility struggles: 06:41–14:47
• Deciding on adoption: 14:47–18:55
• The Down syndrome adoption revelation: 19:17–22:42
• Moving forward despite reservations: 22:11–22:42

Tone & Takeaways

• The conversation is marked by warmth, honesty, and a willingness to “take off the mask”—the Avaises openly share their doubts, frustrations, and conversion of their motives from selfishness to genuine surrender.
• Both hosts and guests emphasize that entering hard places is not about being superhuman or holy, but about “God’s grace being sufficient” even in the mess.
• The episode encourages listeners not only to consider adoption or foster care but also to support families in their community who are walking these paths.
  • Quote (Jim Daly, 24:47): “Just rally some people around in the church to get around that adoptive couple or that foster couple...ask that question, are they among us and how can we help them?”

Resources Mentioned

• Heather’s book: The Lucky Few: Finding God’s Best in the Most Unlikely Places
• Focus on the Family’s programs: Wait No More (US), Waiting to Belong (Canada)
• Special Needs Parenting Audio Collection: Over 5 hours of content for parents raising kids with special needs

Looking Ahead

The story continues in Part 2, with a deeper exploration into their adoption journey, discovering the joys and challenges of raising children with special needs, and witnessing God’s faithfulness in places they never expected.

This episode offers a moving, practical, and hope-filled encouragement for anyone considering foster care, adoption, or simply wrapping practical support around the families who do.