Podcast Summary: Focus on the Family with Jim Daly Episode Title: Making Prayer a Priority in Your Marriage
Release Date: April 17, 2025

Introduction

In the April 17, 2025 episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, hosts Jim Daly and John Fuller delve into the pivotal role of prayer in strengthening Christian marriages. Joined by special guests Ryan and Selina Frederick, authors and podcast hosts from the website Fierce Marriage, the discussion offers profound insights, personal testimonies, and practical guidance on integrating prayer into marital life.

The Power of Prayer in Marriage

Jim Daly underscores the transformative power of prayer within marriages, citing a compelling statistic: "less than 1% of couples who pray together every day end in divorce" (00:38), illustrating the profound impact of a shared prayer life. He references German pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who highlighted that "praying for one another is the heartbeat of the Christian community" (00:38), emphasizing its relevance in marriage.

Ryan Frederick echoes this sentiment, discussing the challenges many couples face in maintaining a consistent prayer routine. He observes, "we functionally don't think we need God. So we go about our day" (02:32), attributing the neglect of prayer to a lack of perceived need and underlying pride.

Personal Journeys: Overcoming Challenges through Prayer

Ryan and Selina Frederick share their personal journey of recognizing the necessity of prayer in their marriage. Ryan recounts a period when his focus on work and self-sufficiency led to a distancing from prayer: "I just realized I was doing it completely on my own strength. And the Lord graciously convicted me" (04:40). This realization prompted him to prioritize prayer over personal achievements, declaring, "lord, I need you more than I need revenue" (04:44).

Selina complements this narrative by describing her approach to maintaining a prayerful attitude amidst the chaos of parenting: "I pray that I wouldn't just feed their tummies, but I'd feed their souls" (05:19). Together, they illustrate how prayer fosters humility, reliance on God, and a deeper connection with each other.

Practical Guidance: How to Incorporate Prayer into Marriage

The Fredericks introduce their resources, “40 Prayers for My Wife” and “40 Prayers for My Husband”, designed as prayer journals and prompts to help couples engage in purposeful prayer (02:00). They emphasize the importance of structured prayer, suggesting frameworks like the Lord’s Prayer and the ACTS model (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication) to guide couples in their prayer life.

Ryan Frederick explains the application of the Lord’s Prayer in marital prayer: "It starts out our Father in heaven. Well, there's two really grounding things in that statement... He relates to us from a familial way... I find that helpful as a prompt and an outline" (15:45).
This structured approach helps couples focus their prayers on God’s character and their relationship dynamics.

Overcoming Awkwardness in Praying Together

Addressing the common discomfort couples may feel when praying together, the Fredericks offer strategies to ease into this intimate practice. Selina Frederick advises, "Lean into the awkwardness" (19:15), encouraging couples to embrace the initial discomfort as they develop a prayer routine. They suggest starting with simple actions, such as holding hands and using the Lord’s Prayer as a foundation, to build familiarity and comfort.

Ryan Frederick adds, "When we fix our eyes on God, we fix our eyes on Him. Then again, that calibration happens... It begins to take the focus off ourselves" (20:06). This shift in focus from self-consciousness to a shared spiritual connection helps alleviate awkwardness and fosters genuine communication with God and each other.

Core Principles for a Prayerful Marriage

The Fredericks highlight three essential principles from their books that can enhance a marriage through prayer:

1. Be Hopeful
   Ryan Frederick emphasizes the importance of approaching prayer with expectation:
   "when we pray, we need to pray expecting that God will move" (22:17).
   This hopeful attitude encourages couples to trust in God’s transformative power over time.

2. Create Margin
   Selina Frederick discusses the necessity of allocating time not just to speak but also to listen during prayer:
   "if I'm sitting, making my request to God for 10 minutes, maybe I should at least sit for 10 minutes and listen" (23:19).
   Creating margin ensures that prayer remains a two-way conversation, allowing space for divine guidance.

3. Pray Continually
   Ryan Frederick interprets 1 Thessalonians 5:17 as an attitude of ongoing awareness and accessibility to prayer:
   "praying continually is a function of being aware of your situation and thinking, I can pray" (24:05).
   This principle encourages integrating prayer seamlessly into daily life, fostering a constant connection with God.

Encouragement and Resources for Couples

In concluding the episode, Jim Daly and John Fuller provide resources for couples seeking to strengthen their marriage through prayer. They promote the Hope Restored Marriage Intensives, a program designed to help couples heal and enhance their relationships through biblically based counseling. Additionally, listeners are encouraged to obtain the Fredericks' prayer journals as practical tools for cultivating a consistent prayer life.

Ryan Frederick offers a heartfelt prayer for the listeners: "Lord, we pray that you would teach them how to pray, show them how to pray for one another, show them how to pray with each other... Amen." (24:15).

Conclusion

The episode "Making Prayer a Priority in Your Marriage" serves as a comprehensive guide for Christian couples seeking to deepen their marital bond through prayer. By sharing personal experiences, practical strategies, and valuable resources, Jim Daly and his guests underscore the indispensable role of prayer in fostering a resilient, compassionate, and spiritually aligned marriage.

Notable Quotes:

• Ryan Frederick (00:05):
  "It's impossible to have a healthy prayer life and also have a prideful orientation toward God and a prideful orientation toward one another."

• Jim Daly (00:38):
  "Less than 1% of couples who pray together every day end in divorce."

• Ryan Frederick (04:44):
  "Lord, I need you more than I need revenue. I need you more than I need to get this done."

• Selina Frederick (05:19):
  "I pray that I wouldn't just feed their tummies, but I'd feed their souls."

• Ryan Frederick (22:23):
  "When we pray, we need to pray expecting that God will move."

• Selina Frederick (19:15):
  "Lean into the awkwardness."

For more resources and to obtain the Fredericks' prayer journals, visit their website Fierce Marriage or contact Focus on the Family directly.