Putting Your Family First During Busy Seasons (Part 2 of 2)

Summary

Focus on the Family with Jim Daly: Putting Your Family First During Busy Seasons (Part 2 of 2)

Release Date: April 30, 2025
Host: Jim Daly
Guests: Christy and Josh Straub
Book Discussed: Famous at Home: Seven Decisions to Put Your Family Center Stage in a World Competing for Your Time, Attention, and Identity

---

Introduction: Redefining Fame at Home

The episode delves into the profound concept of being "famous at home," a theme introduced by Christy and Josh Straub in their book Famous at Home. This idea shifts the traditional notion of fame from public accolades to the irreplaceable role one holds within the family unit.

Christy Straub opens the conversation by emphasizing the unique value of being indispensable at home:

"This is the one place that I am irreplaceable, my role in this family. You can't just substitute me out."
[00:02]

John Fuller highlights the challenge modern culture presents to home life:

"Especially today when the culture calls us away from the home, spend more time and money and attention away from our family."
[00:27]

---

The Seven Decisions to Prioritize Family

Jim Daly invites the Straubs to elaborate on their seven key decisions designed to help families center their lives amidst busy schedules and competing interests.

1. Entering Your Child’s World: Command-Free Time

A pivotal decision discussed is the importance of parents immersing themselves in their children's activities without dictating the play. Josh Straub underscores this by referencing Stanley Greenspan’s research on "floor time":

"Spending 20 minutes a day of command-free time with your kids... they feel seen."
[03:12]

This approach fosters a sense of being valued and understood, which can lead to significant behavioral improvements. The Straubs share a personal anecdote about their three-year-old's behavioral challenges after moving, illustrating how dedicating unstructured time led to noticeable positive changes:

"We have watched within, like, a week's time... he's a different kid."
[04:01]

2. The Concept of Vectoring: Small, Incremental Changes

Jim Daly introduces the concept of "vectoring," likening it to a pilot making small turns to adjust course over time without drastic shifts. Josh Straub explains how applying this method to family life can lead to sustainable changes without overwhelming the household:

"If you take just one small degree of change... you start to see a change in the direction that your family is heading in."
[08:31]

Christy adds that starting with one manageable goal allows families to implement changes without feeling burdened:

"Start with one... you just want to get into their world, let's start with that goal and vector just a little bit toward that."
[09:38]

3. Emotional Intelligence: Talking About Emotions

Emotional intelligence is highlighted as a critical component of healthy family dynamics. Josh Straub connects emotional maturity with spiritual maturity, citing Peter Scazzario’s work:

"Emotionally healthy spirituality... you can only be as spiritually mature as you are emotionally mature."
[13:48]

The Straubs emphasize the importance of developing an emotional vocabulary within the family, using tools like feelings charts to help children articulate their emotions. Christy shares a poignant example of their daughter Kennedy using a feelings chart to express feelings of rejection and sadness:

"Point to what you're feeling. And she pointed to angry, and then she pointed to sad... she felt so rejected."
[16:26]

4. Establishing Rhythms in Family Life: The Sabbath and Beyond

Creating predictable rhythms within the household provides stability and structure. Josh Straub explains how implementing rhythms based on biblical principles, such as the Sabbath, has been transformative for their family:

"The first one that we really started honing in on as a family was Sabbath... we have every single day of the week named because we have this rhythm in our home."
[23:04]

Christy reflects on the initial resistance to structured routines but acknowledges their essential role in maintaining family sanity and connection:

"We realized we really did need rhythms... it gave us this sort of pattern to our days and our weeks."
[22:30]

---

Practical Applications and Personal Stories

The Straubs share actionable strategies for other families to implement these decisions. For instance, Josh discusses scheduling personal time to ensure parents can show up as their best selves:

"I'm actually scheduling all my work stuff and scheduling everybody else, but I'm actually not scheduling them, and I need to do that."
[06:03]

Christy talks about the impact of simple self-care practices, like waking up early, on her ability to connect with her children:

"Waking up early... it changed a whole lot for me."
[10:13]

They also discuss the balance between structure and spontaneity in their marriage, illustrating how establishing rhythms has strengthened their relationship and family life.

---

Conclusion: Embracing Change with Grace

The episode wraps up with a reminder that transformation doesn’t require overwhelming changes. The Straubs advocate for gradual adjustments, allowing families to adapt and thrive without added stress:

"It's another thing, we just start with one... a feelings chart is silly, but it appears silly... but it's a great tool."
[09:39]

Jim Daly and John Fuller encourage listeners to explore the Straubs' book, Famous at Home, as a resource for enhancing family relationships and prioritizing what truly matters.

---

Final Thoughts

Christy and Josh Straub’s insights provide a roadmap for Christian families seeking to navigate the complexities of modern life while maintaining strong, loving relationships. By prioritizing family time, fostering emotional intelligence, and establishing meaningful rhythms, families can create a nurturing environment where every member feels valued and connected.

---

Note: For those interested in implementing these strategies, the Straubs’ book offers a comprehensive guide. Additionally, Focus on the Family provides various resources and tools to support families in their journey to thrive in Christ.

Transcript

[Christy Straub]

For us, the message of truly what it means to be famous at home is recognizing, like, this is the one place that I am irreplaceable, my role in this family. You can't just sub me out. Whereas all of the things, all of the accolades that the world puts out there, and for mom and dad, too, like, we're talking about kids and, you know, activities and such. What about mom and dad? Like, all of us are chasing something.

[John Fuller]

Some good insights from Kristi Straub about making your marriage and family a priority. Especially today when the culture calls us away from the home, spend more time and money and attention away from our family. Christy and her husband, Dr. Josh Straub, are back with us today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. And I'm John Fuller.

[Jim Daly]

Last time, we shared a brilliant conversation with Josh and Christy about what it means to be famous at home. I love it, but you kind of can scratch your head going, okay, what does that mean, being famous at home? And we don't often think that way because in this modern era, we believe fame and accolades come from everywhere else, not from home. Maybe your career or friends or social media, all of that. But spending time at home with your family is the bright spot of the day. I remember coming home from Focus. I'd meet with presidents and senators and all that, and I'd get home and, man, I love the boys running out, grabbing each of my legs, and me kind of doing the monster walk into the house, and then we have a tickle fest and all that good stuff. I felt the best being in our living room playing with the boys and, you know, hopefully you feel that way, too. And if you're not in that spot, we've got resources to help you. Josh and Christy have great advice and encouragement in their book Famous at Seven Decisions to Put yout Family Center Stage in a World Competing for your Time, attention, and identity.

[John Fuller]

Yeah. And that forms the basis of our conversation today. And if you missed the first part yesterday, get a copy from us here. We have the audio available for you online through our app and also, of course, through podcasts. We also have the video at YouTube. So wherever you go, catch that first part of this discussion. And if you'd like to find out more about the Straubs and this terrific resource, Famous at Home, our website is linked in the show notes. And now here's part two of the conversation with Josh and Christy on today's episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.

[Jim Daly]

Let's talk about the seven decisions to put your family center stage. We don't need to do them all, but you know. Yeah, let's describe a couple of those or mention all seven and dig into one or two.

[Josh Straub]

Yeah, yeah. So we really hone in on with these seven decisions. And again, if you get the book, you'll be able to walk through each of the decisions. I personally believe, and I think as we hone in on our children in this one, one of those decisions is prioritizing or getting entering your child's world. So it's spending 20 minutes a day of command free time with your kids. And that comes out of Stanley Greenspan's research on floor. You enter your child's world in a way where you're not dictating the play, you're not commanding what we do.

[Jim Daly]

Floor time.

[Josh Straub]

Floor time. I like that you're entering. You can do this with teenagers, you can do this with children. Stanley Griespan's research is on infants and in the early years, but you can do this with any of your children at any specific age. And we have seen this over and over and over again, especially if you have multiple children. Again, it comes back to feeling seen. Our kids want to feel seen. And this is one of those where we say, hey, if you take 20 minutes a day and you just enter into a child's world and do what they want to do, they feel seen. And we see behavior change from this in so many different instances.

[Christy Straub]

We just went through this because we just moved and our three year old is just acting out. Like we got to our new place and it was just.

[Josh Straub]

He's also in a terrible threes.

[Christy Straub]

Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

So we know that that was the twos.

[Josh Straub]

Yeah. It's not. It's threes.

[Christy Straub]

We think it's the three. At least in our house, it's the threes. But it was just like, what is up with him? Like, where, where is all this behavior? And I don't know, it's like it just slapped us upside the head where we realized, I mean, we homeschool. So I think we've been paying attention to the 11 and 9 year olds because we have, you know, keep coming up with their school and they're a.

[Jim Daly]

Little more demanding in a different way.

[Christy Straub]

Yeah. And they're very much aware of the move and, you know, all of the change and they're part of it with us. Whereas the three year old, I mean, everything in his life just changed. And he's going along for the ride. He's just been along for the ride unseen. Yes. And we just realized it was Like, I think he just needs time with us.

[Josh Straub]

We realized this through an argument. Let's just be honest.

[Christy Straub]

We got in a argument with each other about. About his behavior because he was causing so much disruption in our home. And it was like.

[Josh Straub]

So we started blaming each other.

[Christy Straub]

Right? It was his son.

[Jim Daly]

Of course he's taking after Joshua.

[Christy Straub]

He acts like this because of you, but it was like, oh, my goodness, he just needs us. And so, like, let's. What if we just focus on just being with him, like, and the 20 minutes of command free time. It's actually really hard for me as a mom, I'll be honest. Like, because it means they dictate the play. Like, I'm used to being mom and being like, hey, bud, let's do, like, how about you do this? Like, pull. Let's do art. Let's draw, let's paint, let's whatever. And it's just, oh, he wants to play trains again, again. And I'm always Percy. And, you know, it's like, there's nothing really stimulating here. It's just not. And yet. And yet it's. We have watched within, like, a week's time. I mean, he's a different kid. And it was like, proving it again. Like, they just want you. And especially in such times of, you know, chaos and disruption. And so it was just a really. This was just this week. So it was really healthy reminder.

[Josh Straub]

And the whole idea behind Famous at Home, and we talk about this all the time on our podcast, is I always end with, this is the greatest red carpet you'll ever walk is through your front door.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah.

[Josh Straub]

Because you realize you are. To your children, you are famous. And that's why you hear your kids say, mommy, play with me, Daddy, play with me, play with me, play with me. Or, you know, and we're constantly busy, but they. We are here. We are their heroes. And they just long for time with us. And I think even if we can just give into that 20, 30 minutes, you know, a day and say, you know what this is? And for me, I've actually started scheduling it. I started to actually put it on my calendar to schedule it, because I realized I was scheduling all my work stuff and scheduling everybody else, but I'm actually not scheduling them, and I need to do that.

[Jim Daly]

You know, that came home to me. Not on the scheduling side, but the recognition of the red carpet. I like that vision. And, you know, in this role, I get to meet a lot of important people. And I would go meet the president. I mean, fill it in. W. Or Whomever it might have been, especially when the kids were young, during that administration, I'd have that meeting in Washington, fly back, gather my luggage, come back to the house. And what I look so forward to, more than the meeting with the President, honestly was Trent and Troy running out of the house, grabbing my leg and me monster walking them in and they're laughing and giggling, they're sitting on my lap and we're talking and tickling. And that was far, far better. No offense to any president. No. But it seems, you know, that's where I just loved it. I really. And it was genuine.

[Josh Straub]

And at the end of life, you're not gonna regret that you didn't meet a president. You're gonna regret that you weren't there. And I think that's the thing that for us, we really want to champion for all families, is to say let's really turn our heads inward to our greatest fans.

[Jim Daly]

Let me ask you another thing that again just was a great nugget I caught in the book on vectoring. I love Gene and I binge. This should be a non confession, but we like binge air disaster, that series.

[Josh Straub]

I've never heard of it either.

[Jim Daly]

But telling you, it's always pilot error, ice on the wings. I don't know. But you know, we'll watch three or four shows. Okay, you ready for bed? Okay, let's go to bed. But in that, I mean there's a lot of vectoring discussion and so I know it. But describe for the listener, the viewer, what vectoring is for a pilot and how you apply that to the parenting.

[Josh Straub]

Yeah, because vectoring, I mean what ends up happening is a pilot is going to vector, which means they're going to make a small degree turn over time that will eventually get that.

[Jim Daly]

So they're not making a drastic, they're.

[Josh Straub]

Not making a drastic like right or left hand turn that just, you know, takes the drinks and the food and throws it everywhere. And you know, you're like, it's hard, right? And I think sometimes we try to do that in our family where it's like we make these decisions and we make, we come home and we have this aha moment. Maybe we learn it somewhere, we listen to it on the broadcast and we try to make this drastic and everybody feels whiplashed in the house because it's like, you know what? Tonight from now on, we're having dinner every single night at 6:00 and this is, we're going to talk about this and this and this and this. Everybody feels like whiplash but just this whole idea that if you take just one small degree of change, just find that one principle you heard on today's broadcast, just take one thing and just begin to implement it. And that over time you will start to see a change in the direction that your family is heading in.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, that's really good. And I think again, so often we think we got to do this drastic thing to feel like we're actually accomplishing it.

[Josh Straub]

20 minutes of command free time a day with your kids. 15 minutes a day of talking about emotions with your spouse. These things are simple and doable and they have different destinies.

[Christy Straub]

They just form over time. Like that's the thing with vectoring. You end up in a completely different place.

[Jim Daly]

Plus, it's a cool word, but.

[Christy Straub]

It's a cool word. But I just think it gives a lot of grace. Like I'm a type A, you know, if it's like I'm the one who, like I've learned the things and I'm like, we're gonna do them all, all of them at the same time.

[Jim Daly]

Because if we don't, we're failing totally.

[Christy Straub]

It's like I have 18 goals now and we're going to now therefore miss every single one. And so it's another thing, we just start with one. If that's like emotional, like connection with your kids again, like you just want to get into their world, let's start with that goal and vector just a little bit toward that. Because you can't come in all guns a blazing. Like nobody feels safe. Relationships aren't like that.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah. And you know what's interesting there though? And it catches me. How did you get there? Because you're saying, you know, I was the eight point person when I got eight things to do. I did all eight.

[Christy Straub]

Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

Because that's where I felt I got my right but sticker.

[Christy Straub]

But then I failed at all eight. Because you can't aim at eight things and, and achieve them. And so that's where we realized, we talked about in famous at home is set your first goal. Like start with one. Because goodness knows not one single parent out there needs another thing to add to their mental load of everything. We're not doing quite well enough or could be doing a little bit better. So what is the one thing? Like we just say, like, what's the first goal? And for me that was taking care of me. Like that was taking care of myself. And so mine was, I had to wake up early. Like, I know it's so simple, but I had to wake up before the kids. So I had time with the Lord. I had time to really process and get to the bottom of how I was, because I really didn't know, because I wasn't giving any time to it. So when I started, that's where I started, was waking up early. And as silly as that sounds, over time, that changed a whole lot for me.

[Josh Straub]

So if you go back to decision number one, as Christie's talking about, you know, it's really about showing up as the best version of you, because we talked about becoming. Like, how do we become? So it kind of really wraps up, okay, who are we becoming as an adult and vectoring? And so for us, it's just finding. What is that one thing? And, you know, Christy alluded to waking up early. For me, it's working out. The very first thing that. Because I knew when I wake up in the morning, if I don't get up early enough and work out first and I don't get my stuff done first, and I'm waking up with the kids and, you know, and the toddler, and everything's going like. I just am not this best version of me waking up, because I. In my brain, I'm already behind on everything else I need to get done. And so I'm not waking up with this sense of, you know. Whereas if I wake up and I work out first, I wake up with this sense of like, good morning, everybody. How are you doing? How's your day? What can I get for you? Can we get some breakfast? You? And I'm now, rather than trying to chase down what I need to get done, I'm chasing down how I can serve everybody else. And I'm just showing up as a better version of me in the home for everybody else. And it shifts the atmosphere.

[Christy Straub]

Right.

[Jim Daly]

I'm laughing. I'm thinking of the kids going, mommy, Daddy's acting funny. He wants to make pancakes. No, that's good. I love that.

[Josh Straub]

I'm just echoing in my head. That's right.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah. What's wrong with Daddy?

[Christy Straub]

He did start cooking.

[Jim Daly]

No, that's good.

[Christy Straub]

And that's been like. Even that's been a revelation, and it's because it's come out of us learning how to care for us. Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah. It's all good.

[Christy Straub]

And it's been good.

[John Fuller]

What a fun conversation with Josh and Kristi Straub on today's episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Our topic has been the family, obviously, and we've centered on their book called Famous at Home Seven Decisions to put your family center stage in a world competing for your time, attention and identity. Let me urge you to get a copy of this resource. You can learn more when you stop by the show notes to find the link. And now the conclusion of Jim's conversation with Josh and Christy on today's focus on the family with Jim Daly.

[Jim Daly]

Another one of the seven decisions is decision three listed in the book. But it's about your emotions, emotional intelligence, something I learned in business school. We talked a lot about it back then. But what is emotional intelligence and why is it important?

[Josh Straub]

Yeah, for me I really go back to what Peter Scazzario talks about. Emotionally healthy spirituality, emotionally healthy church, that you can only be as spiritually mature as you are emotionally mature. And when you look at emotion research and you look at who we're becoming, our ability to be able to identify what it is we're feeling is a reflection of how well I can step into the shoes of another person and identify what they're feeling. Because if I can't step into Christie's shoes and identify and see her feeling, or if I can't see my own, how am I going to see hers? And so this really comes down to. And I love the way Paul describes this, I love the way that research describes this. Our brains grow from the bottom to the top and the right to the left. So the bottom is the amygdala. That's the fight, flight or freeze response. That's our quick to anger, quick to speak. You know we're going to fight or flee the situation. But the higher functioning parts of the brain behind the eyes are your prefrontal cortex. That's the higher functioning parts of the brain. Emotion regulation, cognitive flexibility, social skills. Yeah, self control, Fruit of the spirit. Right. It's like, you know, and so, but that part of the brain doesn't fully develop until we hit about the age of 25, which is why rental car companies are smarter than politicians. But as parents we have the ability as we enter into our kids worlds to build that part of the brain. And the reason is because the brain also goes from the right to the left. So the right side of your brain, that's the here now experiential part of the brain. That's what you're feeling in the moment. The left side is your linguistic side. It's where we put language to what it is we're experiencing. And the middle part of the brain is the corpus callosum. I like to call it the binding of the book. Because what we're doing we all have a story to tell, but when we fail to identify and put language to what it is we're experiencing in the moment, we have what's called a disintegrated brain. And we can't identify, therefore, what we're feeling or how that person made me feel. And we have a lapse in judgment then on people around us, situations, all that type of thing. And so for us, this is why we have a children's book called what Am I Feeling? And Getting Out Feelings Charts is because our ability to identify what it is we're feeling and connect it to experiences in our story is what wires our brain not just for connection, but also for problem solving, self control, and the like. And so this is why we talk about Decision number three. Talk about emotions is to make emotional vocabulary common in your home, not just in your marriage, but also with your children.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, it's good. In fact, Christy, I think you had an example in the book with your daughter Kennedy, who was, you know, kind of acting out a little bit, and you put this to work. How'd that go?

[Christy Straub]

She's our deep feeler, but she's also our. Our one who. She'll keep it in for a while, similar to Mom. Funny until it explodes. But, yeah, she was. There was one day she was just acting out, and it was. Which is uncharacteristic for her. Disobedience wasn't really her thing. And so one, at bedtime, I was finally like, honey, what is going on? Like, I'm trying to get to the bottom of. Because this isn't you. And it just. It all came out in tears of how she had been. We'd been at a birthday party, and she'd been rejected by these girls. They'd excluded her and shut the door and not allowed her to come in. And she felt so rejected. And I had pulled out. Part of that story is I'd pulled out a feelings chart because she was pretty young at the time. And so I was like, point to what you're feeling. And she pointed to angry, and then she pointed to sad. And it was this connection where she even realized her own anger that was coming out at me was actually this deep sadness because she'd been rejected by these little girls. And, you know, so often we just miss that because we correct or we discipline away the behavior, thinking that our kids are just being bratty. I think so often. I mean, I don't. I think we've all heard that sign. It's not. Our kids aren't giving us a hard Time. They're having a hard time. And I would say there's a lot of truth for all of us. We know I'm not reacting because I'm just trying to disobey. I'm reacting because I'm really hurting by. There's something hurting in me. And that's been. It was just really powerful for us as a family to recognize the power of naming emotion. We talk about it in Marriage on the last episode, but it's just important for our kids. But so many of us never learned it as kids, so we're learning it alongside of them. And for some, like, if this is new to you, like, a feelings chart is silly. It appears silly. It's faces that just.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah. Happy face, sad face. I used to draw them for the kids.

[Christy Straub]

Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

Because I didn't have the chart.

[Christy Straub]

Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

I should have gone online. That's how dense I was. But I put up all the faces that I could think of. Embarrassment.

[Christy Straub]

Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

Draw embarrassment. I tried to.

[Christy Straub]

Embarrassment. And that's like. I mean, that's a deep one when you're embarrassed. Like, we react in crazy ways. Oh, yeah.

[Jim Daly]

And I think the point of that is. I'm thinking of teenagers that are really screaming for that. You know, when we look at it, it's rejection with their friend group, with school, something that was embarrassing. And we pounce on it as parents because we're seeing defiant behavior. And what they really need is someone to hear them and understand. And the problem with that, though, Christy, is they need help to be able to express it, because they don't even know what it is. Sometimes even teenagers.

[Christy Straub]

Yes.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah. So that's even us.

[Christy Straub]

And that's why people put up a feelings chart. There's one couple. They're like, we actually put it in our closet. Don't tell anyone. But we put it up in our closet because we're all learning this. And that's what the. I think the gift is, is that we're living in a generation that's at least a little more aware and willing to talk about emotion. And I think that's really healthy.

[Jim Daly]

I think that's been a great thing for the culture. You know, you go back to the. The builders, the boomers, that kind of thing. It's like, we don't talk about nothing. Christy, let me ask you this. And, you know, the shoe goes on either foot on this. The husband, wife. But, you know, typically someone spontaneous in the relationship. The other one's the kind of the planner. And talk about arguing, you know, and for me and Jean, I'M the spontaneous guy. She's the planner. Very methodical. I always laugh. People know that, have listened to the program. She's a chemistry graduate, so I'm the marketing grad. So you can imagine it even fit in what we did vocationally that way. But, you know, that can cause a lot of grief. And really, in the end, we're probably some of both. Yeah, but what was your experience with that?

[Christy Straub]

Yeah, well, it was interesting because as a new mom, I think I railed against everything that was structured. Like, all of the. I think my life felt so out of control that I was like, oh, let's just go with the flow. Like, let's just be spontaneous. I can't. I can't control anything.

[Jim Daly]

I affirm you in that.

[Christy Straub]

I can't control these. They don't sleep when I want them to sleep. They don't. So I was like, let's just be spontaneous and go with the flow. And then it was Josh came in, you know, and he's quite structured. And it was like, I think we need to develop some rhythms in this family, you know? And I was like, I don't know when I get breakfast, so, like, I don't know when I'm gonna ever get time for myself. So it felt like a pipe dream, I guess, and impossible to attain, really. Trul. And so that was really what happened for me, is I remember going on Pinterest, and I saw this woman, and she has this, like, organization binder for her cleaning schedule.

[Jim Daly]

The fact she has a binder, and.

[Christy Straub]

Thank you. I was like, this is so, like, it just. And then all shame messages, all the shame alarm bells in my head are going off. Like, I've. I don't even know. Last time I cleaned my bathroom. But see, that's the difference.

[Jim Daly]

Much less on a schedule like men and women. I go, oh, my gosh, get a life. You go, okay, where did I miss it?

[Christy Straub]

No, totally.

[Jim Daly]

I'm like, I get it.

[Christy Straub]

And I was just so. I think I was railing against that. But what basically happened over these last, you know, those decade of years, we realized we really did need rhythms. Like, I needed rhythms. I needed some sort of rhythm of predictability, because you go crazy if every day looks different, and you go crazy if every day looks the exact same. And so this has been the process of putting into practice rhythms in our weeks, and that's been the probably the saving grace of our family, of. Of giving the kids especially, you know, when the world went crazy, when we've switched to homeschooling, like, Just so much instability. It gave us this sort of pattern to our days and our weeks, and I've come to love it now.

[Josh Straub]

Yeah.

[Christy Straub]

I still do not have a cleaning binder, though, I will tell you that.

[Jim Daly]

How big is your cleaning binder?

[Christy Straub]

Nonexistent. It doesn't exist.

[Jim Daly]

Hey, Josh, in that regard, I mean, being a structured person, I can't imagine what that's like. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, in that, seeing that and applying rhythms and talking to Christy about it, I mean, that's got to be a bit of a dance when you have unstructured and structured coming together.

[Josh Straub]

Well, I think it took a little bit of time because, you know, some of this rhythm stuff for me came from a group. Same, you know, Jeremy Pryor, you know, group of guys that I do life with, who really started mentoring me in this whole idea of rhythms. Going back to Genesis chapter one. I mean, rhythms were God's idea. I mean, you know, you. You even look at every single day. At the end of the day, God is saying, it is good. He's looking back on what he did and what he created and celebrating every single day.

[Jim Daly]

I mean, there's so many rhythms in life, in nature, that he created so many rhythms.

[Josh Straub]

And the first one that we really started honing in on as a family was Sabbath, because that was the rhythm that he created as soon as he created Adam and Eve. What did Adam and Eve do the first day they were alive? They rested. You know, God allows. He gifts us rest. It's a gift from God. And yet I don't think we're taking it in our culture. We don't take it seriously. We're like, wow, that's an Old Testament type of thing. And the reality is, I think it's been the single greatest rhythm we've implemented in our family is Sabbath. And we started there, and it took some time to implement and do. But now we were at a point where. And if you read this in the book, we have every single day of the week named because we have this rhythm in our home where it's almost like a bell curve, where it's like we go really, really hard. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. By Thursday, we start to come down off of it. We schedule Thursday nights as our date nights. You know, Friday is coming down into Sabbath, and then Saturday is when we Sabbath, and then Sunday's starting to ramp back up again. And we do that so that our kids are. They understand what the rhythm is.

[Jim Daly]

They get a rhythm.

[Josh Straub]

They get a rhythm. They have a rhythm, and it's just Something. And of course there's times where, you know, it gets botched a little bit. But we always keep defending the rhythm and we keep coming back to it because it's what brings our family life. It's what keeps our family sane in a lot of ways. And it's what also keeps us connected, to be very honest.

[Jim Daly]

What name would you give Tuesday?

[Josh Straub]

Tough Tuesday.

[Jim Daly]

Tough Tuesday. That's a good day.

[Josh Straub]

It's the biggest. It's, it's, it's the, it's the height of the bell curve. It's the day that we are. If I'm working late or if I schedule any meetings late, the kids know, like, that's the day that that's the highest. That's Tough Tuesday.

[Jim Daly]

That is really good.

[Christy Straub]

And again, like, I'm the one who railed against it because I was like, this just feels like a cleaning binder. But it's, it has given us so much life. And I realized because now Fridays, we clean on Fridays because we have a Sabbath on Saturday. And it's really nice to be in a clean home on a weekend where you can. For a mom, all the moms are like, you can't rest. And so it's just changed how we've structured our life. But what it's done is it's grounded our kids and us.

[Jim Daly]

Man, that rhythm concept sounds like a great idea, don't you think?

[John Fuller]

I think it provides structure and it's the kind of thing that, yeah, I wish we had more of as a family.

[Jim Daly]

Well, there's so much good stuff in Josh and Christy's book Famous at Seven Decisions to Put yout Family Center Stage in a world competing for your time, attention and identity. So get a copy from us here at the ministry when you make a monthly pledge of any amount to focus. We'll say thank you by getting this book right out to you. Famous Home is a great tool for your marriage and for your parenting. And I hope you'll partner with us so we can share this tool with even more families.

[John Fuller]

We'd love to hear from you and a monthly pledge would be great. Or a one time gift, whatever you can afford. Our number is 800, the letter A in the word family. 800-232-6459. Or of course you can donate when you stop by the show Notes. You'll find the link right there. We're also going to have our free 7 traits of effective Parenting Assessment online. This is a terrific tool to help you determine what's working well in the family. Kind of a pressure check a pulse check. It's going to offer you suggestions about how you can improve the relationships where it matters most in the home. And then finally, we'd love to have you stop by our Colorado Springs campus if you happen to be coming through Colorado or anywhere near. Swing by the Springs and say hi to us and enjoy time in our wonderful welcome center and our terrific bookstore. Thanks for listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

[Unknown]

Your marriage can be redeemed even if the fights seem constant, even if there's been an affair, even if you haven't felt close in years. No matter how deep the wounds are, you can take a step up toward healing them with a Hope Restored Marriage Intensive. Our biblically based counseling will help you find the root of your problems and face challenges together. We'll talk with you, pray with you and help you find out which program will work best. Call us at 1-866-875-2915.