Focus on the Family with Jim Daly Episode: Say This, Not That: Smart Parenting Tips for Misbehavior (Part 2 of 2) Release Date: August 13, 2025

Introduction

In the second installment of the "Say This, Not That: Smart Parenting Tips for Misbehavior" series, hosts Jim Daly and John Fuller continue their insightful conversation with guest speakers Amber Lia and Wendy Speake. This episode delves deeper into practical, biblically grounded strategies for addressing common parenting challenges, particularly focusing on misbehavior in children.

Recap of the Previous Episode

Jim Daly opens the discussion by referencing the previous episode, where topics such as sibling rivalry, disobedient children, and motivational scripting were explored. He encourages listeners who missed the first part to access additional resources through the Focus on the Family website and app.

Jim Daly [01:13]: "John, last time we talked about the sibling rivalry, you know, some really good stuff, disobedient children, how to motivate them with a different script. And we covered much more."

Introducing "Parenting Scripts"

Amber Lia and Wendy Speake, busy mothers of seven children between them, introduce their book, "Parenting Scripts: When What You're Saying Isn't Working, Say Something New." The book emphasizes the importance of varying parental responses to achieve better outcomes with children’s behavior.

John Fuller [01:52]: "So if you missed last time, go to the website, get the download, download the app for your phone. You have access to all the programs that way."

Rooted in Scripture

A central theme of the discussion is the necessity for parenting methods to be anchored in scriptural truth. Amber Lia emphasizes that while parents don't need to constantly quote scripture, their words and actions should reflect biblical principles.

Amber Lia [03:02]: "Our scripts need to be shaped by the scriptures. Our words need to be shaped by the word."

Wendy Speake adds that meditating on specific Bible verses can help parents respond more effectively during challenging interactions with their children.

Wendy Speake [04:08]: "We don't trust ourselves, and we shouldn't, because we don't have wisdom, but God does."

Dealing with Guilt vs. Conviction

Jim Daly addresses the prevalent issue of parental guilt, urging parents to differentiate between guilt and conviction. He emphasizes that while guilt can be paralyzing, conviction propels positive change.

Jim Daly [05:25]: "If you're not in word, if you're not practicing the things of truth, you're going to do a poor job parenting."

Amber Lia concurs, highlighting that conviction leads to transformation, whereas guilt leads to condemnation.

Amber Lia [05:59]: "Conviction, catapults us forward in the right direction. Guilt actually stops us."

Practical Examples and Stories

Amber shares a personal story about handling a situation where her youngest son used hurtful language towards his brother. She illustrates how relying on the Holy Spirit and scriptural guidance helped her respond calmly and effectively.

Amber Lia [07:07]: "I was blindsided by them. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit kept me calm and kind because I was already doing this work."

Teaching Grace and Forgiveness

The discussion shifts to the importance of modeling and teaching grace and forgiveness within the family. Wendy Speake explains strategies for encouraging children to apologize sincerely and forgive one another without forcing it.

Wendy Speake [14:08]: "I just say that simple thing... I let them marinate."

Amber adds that teaching children to extend grace is a reflection of the Gospel, turning sin moments into opportunities for demonstrating God's grace.

Amber Lia [09:42]: "The goal is always the gospel."

Letting Go and Giving Control

As children grow older, parents face the challenge of relinquishing control while maintaining guidance. Wendy Speake discusses the importance of giving children dignity and free will, trusting God to work in their hearts.

Wendy Speake [20:48]: "If you want to change your relationship with your late teen, your 20 something, give up that control as a parent."

Amber Lia reflects on respecting children’s free will, illustrating this with her tattoo symbolizing the balance between control and letting children choose their paths.

Amber Lia [23:17]: "I made my arrow a detour in the shape of a heart to remind me that I am going to love my kids through their detours."

Conclusion and Takeaways

Jim Daly wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of adopting new scripts when traditional responses fail to yield positive results. He encourages listeners to support the ministry financially and access additional resources to continue improving their parenting strategies.

Jim Daly [27:11]: "What a great resource. Parenting scripts. When what you're saying isn't working, say something new."

Wendy and Amber express their gratitude for being part of the conversation, emphasizing the ongoing need for prayer and support in fostering healthy, faith-driven family environments.

Notable Quotes

• Jim Daly [01:13]: "If you missed last time, go to the website, get the download, download the app for your phone."

• Amber Lia [03:02]: "Our scripts need to be shaped by the scriptures."

• Jim Daly [05:25]: "If you're not in word, if you're not practicing the things of truth, you're going to do a poor job parenting."

• Wendy Speake [14:08]: "I just say that simple thing... I let them marinate."

• Amber Lia [09:42]: "The goal is always the gospel."

• Wendy Speake [20:48]: "If you want to change your relationship with your late teen, your 20 something, give up that control as a parent."

• Amber Lia [23:17]: "I made my arrow a detour in the shape of a heart to remind me that I am going to love my kids through their detours."

Resources Mentioned

• Book: Parenting Scripts: When What You're Saying Isn't Working, Say Something New by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake.
• Website: truthrising.com
• Contact for Marriage Support: Call 1-866-875-2915 for Hope Restored Marriage Intensives.

This episode provides valuable insights for Christian parents seeking to navigate the complexities of modern parenting with faith-based strategies. By integrating scripture into daily interactions and focusing on grace and forgiveness, parents can foster a nurturing and spiritually enriching environment for their children.