Surprise Your Kids with Unforgettable Faith Lessons

Summary

Focus on the Family with Jim Daly

Episode: Surprise Your Kids with Unforgettable Faith Lessons
Release Date: January 27, 2025
Guest: Tim Shoemaker
Hosts: Jim Daly and John Fuller

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Introduction to the Episode

In the episode titled "Surprise Your Kids with Unforgettable Faith Lessons," hosted by Jim Daly and John Fuller, the Focus on the Family team delves into innovative strategies for parents to impart faith-based lessons to their children in memorable and engaging ways. The guest, Tim Shoemaker, a seasoned speaker, author, and writing coach, shares his personal journey and practical approaches to making family devotions impactful and enjoyable for children of varying ages.

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Guest Introduction: Tim Shoemaker

Tim Shoemaker brings a wealth of experience to the conversation, highlighting his extensive background in family devotion leadership. With over 40 years of marriage, three adult sons, three daughters-in-law, and 12 grandchildren, Tim embodies the principles he advocates. He is the author of "The Very Best Hands On, Kind of Dangerous Family Devotions, Volume One," which serves as the cornerstone for this episode's discussion.

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Challenges of Keeping Family Devotions Engaging

Tim begins by reflecting on his own experiences with family devotions. [00:02] He shares, "One of the things that were so powerful about leading family devotions is that God kept changing me. And I think over the course of a year, year and a half, I really believed I was in a different spot than I would have been if I hadn't been doing family devotions." This transformation underscores the reciprocal benefits of engaging in family devotions—not only for the children but also for the parents.

Tim acknowledges the common struggle parents face in making devotions "not be boring." He explains how traditional methods often fail to captivate children, leading to disengagement and reluctance from both sides.

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Tim's Journey to Making Devotions Hands-On

As Tim transitioned into fatherhood, he sought methods to avoid repeating the monotonous devotion experiences he endured. [04:05] He candidly admits, "I wrestled with it... I was this stop and start dad with family devotion in that regard." This realization propelled him to explore creative alternatives that would resonate better with his children.

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Examples of Creative Devotion Activities

Tim’s innovative approach is exemplified through his use of object lessons—hands-on activities that convey spiritual truths in a tangible manner. A standout example is the "electrocuting a pickle" experiment. [06:44] He describes the process:

"Take a regular light-duty extension cord, cut off the socket, wrap a nail on each end with electrical tape, and insert them into a pickle. When plugged in, the pickle lights up, resembling a battle inside."

This visually stimulating experiment serves as a metaphor for the internal spiritual struggles individuals face, making abstract concepts more accessible to children.

Another notable activity involves a used car lot excursion to teach lessons about looking beyond appearances. [11:04] Tim recounts how taking his children to pick out dream cars allowed him to draw parallels between superficial attractions and deeper, more meaningful connections.

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Spiritual Lessons through Object Lessons

These hands-on activities are meticulously tied to biblical principles. For instance, the pickle experiment symbolizes the perennial battle between the Holy Spirit and one's old nature. [07:05] Tim elaborates:

"This pickle is like us as a Christian. We've got two major influences—positive (the Holy Spirit) and negative (our old nature). The battle inside us mirrors the ongoing spiritual conflict."

Such illustrations not only engage children but also embed spiritual truths deeply in their minds, ensuring long-term retention and understanding.

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The Importance of Teaching Faith to Children

Referencing Proverbs 22:6, John Fuller underscores the biblical mandate:

"Proverbs 22:6 reminds parents to train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it." [01:38]

Tim echoes this sentiment, emphasizing that well-crafted devotions can leave enduring impressions. He shares a heartwarming anecdote about his niece recalling a lesson about valuing the heart over appearances, demonstrating the effectiveness of his approach. [12:27]

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The Role of Parents and Grandparents in Faith Transmission

Drawing from Psalm 78, Tim discusses the broader responsibility of not just parents but also grandparents in nurturing faith across generations. [17:33] He highlights:

"The next generation would know them, put their trust in God, and would not forget his deeds, but would keep his commands."

This holistic approach ensures that faith is consistently reinforced, preventing lapses that might occur if the responsibility rests solely on parents.

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Practical Tips for Parents

Tim offers actionable advice for parents aiming to make devotions more dynamic:

1. Incorporate Activities: Utilize object lessons and hands-on experiments to illustrate spiritual concepts.
2. Balance Structure and Flexibility: While maintaining a foundation, vary the activities to keep children engaged.
3. Divide Responsibilities: Parents can leverage their individual strengths—perhaps one leads the activity while the other discusses the spiritual takeaway.
4. Model Transparency: Demonstrate faith by admitting mistakes and seeking forgiveness, thereby earning children’s respect and trust.

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Outcomes and Success Stories

The effectiveness of Tim’s methods is evident in the lives of his adult children:

"By God's grace, we've got our oldest one. He's a recording engineer and he's active in his church and leading his family with the Lord... our middle son, he's a pastor... our youngest son is a paramedic." [25:10]

These outcomes testify to the profound impact of engaging family devotions, showcasing how meaningful lessons can shape future leaders in faith.

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Conclusion and Resources

The episode wraps up with a heartfelt endorsement of Tim Shoemaker’s book, "The Very Best Hands On, Kind of Dangerous Family Devotions: Volume One," offering 52 creative devotion ideas to inspire parents. [13:17] The authors encourage listeners to visit their website for additional resources and to explore the visual presentations of these activities on YouTube.

Tim’s closing remarks reinforce the transformative power of dedicated family devotions:

"One of the things that was so powerful about leading family devotions is that God kept changing me... I was able to speak into their life all through their teenage years." [20:53]

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Key Takeaways

• Engagement is Crucial: Traditional, monotonous devotions often fail to capture children's interest. Incorporating creative, hands-on activities can make faith lessons more engaging and memorable.

• Object Lessons Enhance Retention: Visual and interactive demonstrations help children grasp and retain spiritual truths more effectively than verbal instruction alone.

• Biblical Foundation: Rooting each activity in scripture ensures that lessons are not only engaging but also biblically sound and impactful.

• Parental Collaboration: Dividing devotional responsibilities based on each parent’s strengths fosters a more dynamic and balanced approach to teaching faith.

• Long-Term Impact: Consistent, engaging devotions can profoundly influence children, leading to strong, faith-centered lives as adults.

• Generational Responsibility: Both parents and grandparents play vital roles in transmitting faith, ensuring its continuity across generations.

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Notable Quotes with Speaker Attribution and Timestamps

• Tim Shoemaker [00:02]:
  "One of the things that were so powerful about leading family devotions is that God kept changing me. And I think over the course of a year, year and a half, I really believed I was in a different spot than I would have been if I hadn't been doing family devotions."

• John Fuller [01:38]:
  "Proverbs 22:6 reminds parents to train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it."

• Tim Shoemaker [05:28]:
  "Active, object lesson oriented, or you do an activity. Sometimes we take a little outing."

• Tim Shoemaker [07:43]:
  "This pickle is like us as a Christian. We've got two major influences—positive (the Holy Spirit) and negative (our old nature). The battle inside us mirrors the ongoing spiritual conflict."

• John Fuller [10:01]:
  "Researchers say when that kind of lesson is taught, our minds retain it far better... There's a mechanism in our minds... it just fires a memory."

• Tim Shoemaker [12:27]:
  "When we did this little thing where we went to the used cars and have them pick a car that they wanted... your dad chose the journey, and I've loved it, and I hope you choose the same."

• John Fuller [17:09]:
  "It's Psalm 78... what a great reference for us as parents to do that and be faithful about it."

• Tim Shoemaker [20:53]:
  "I was able to speak into their life all through their teenage years. It's really hard to rebel against somebody you respect."

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Final Thoughts

"Surprise Your Kids with Unforgettable Faith Lessons" serves as an inspiring guide for parents seeking to deepen their family's spiritual journey. Through personal anecdotes, practical advice, and biblical insights, Tim Shoemaker provides a roadmap for creating devotions that are both meaningful and memorable. By embracing creativity and intentionality, parents can foster a lasting legacy of faith that equips their children to thrive in Christ.

For those interested in implementing these strategies, Tim Shoemaker’s book offers a comprehensive collection of activities designed to transform family devotions into engaging and impactful experiences.

Transcript

[Tim Shoemaker]

Jim, John, one of the things that were so powerful about leading family devotions is that God kept changing me. And I think over the course of a year, year and a half, I really believed I was in a different spot than I would have been if I hadn't been doing family devotions. Now I was trying to benefit the kids. Right? Here's this huge benefit to me because I didn't lose my kids respect by confessing, by admitting that we do it wrong. We don't lose their respect. We're making those adjustments. And I was able to speak into their life all through their teenage years.

[Jim Daly]

That's Tim Shoemaker and he's our guest today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. And we're going to look today at how parents can find creative ways to share your faith with your children. I'm John Fuller.

[John Fuller]

You know, John, I remember the devotions with the boys and really Jean and I, you know, we had a different picture of what it could look like and she wanted it pretty formal. But I'm thinking, you know, these are two boys who are wiggling all the time and they're not going to sit and listen to music for five minutes and then lesson and then pray together. They did sometimes. And I don't mean to belittle that because there's a place for that kind of structure, but what I noticed really fast is that the boys wanted action. They wanted to see the Bible in action. And sometimes that could be really difficult to do Family devotions where you're thinking of all of this. Right. But today we're going to talk with an author who has created some great devotions in his book, the Very Best Hands on, kind of Dangerous Family Devotions. I got that out.

[Jim Daly]

You did. That was a great time to do it.

[John Fuller]

One breath. But just wonderful insights on how to make devotions engaging. You know, Proverbs 22:6 reminds parents to train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. And I love that. And I think that's true now that I have 20 something boys. Men, I should say. Sorry, guys. Those lessons, a lot of them stuck because of the whole combination of action, insight, engagement. And I'm looking forward to helping more parents today do it that way.

[Jim Daly]

Yeah, yeah. And there's no magic formula. You have to figure out what works for you. But I love what Tim has done here. Tim Shoemaker is a speaker, author, writing coach, and he and his wife Cheryl have been married over 40 years. They have three adult sons, three daughters in law and 12 grandchildren.

[John Fuller]

Expert.

[Jim Daly]

Yes. And Tim's written a number of books. You mentioned the one that forms the foundation for our conversation today, Jim, the Very Best Hands On Kind of Dangerous Family Devotions, Volume one. And you can learn more about our guest and this terrific book when you stop by our website. The link is in the show notes.

[John Fuller]

When you say the title, you gotta start rolling downhill fast. Right. The Very Best Hands on Kind of Dangerous Family Devotions.

[Jim Daly]

That's a good way to put it.

[John Fuller]

I like that, Tim. Welcome to Focus on the Family.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Gee, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you, John.

[John Fuller]

Well, I understand you grew up in a Christian household, which is good. It gives me perspective. I did not. John, did you?

[Jim Daly]

I did. I grew up in a religious home, let's call it that.

[John Fuller]

But my boys did. My boys grew up in a Christian household, obviously, with Gene and I. So I'm always mindful of that distinction. You know, how boring are we making this for them? But your dad had that same plight, right. He struggled to make devotions, kind of energizing and interesting, like all of us do at times.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yeah. And you know what? He was great. He's my hero. He was the one that did so much to influence the man I would become and the Christian I would become. But I'll tell you what. Yeah. It was tough to make those devotions not be boring. So we were bored oftentimes. And, you know, but I loved him for the fact that he was steady with it. Boy. He did a devotional, you know, each night after dinner. But I'll tell you what, it was something that we had to finish those devotions before we went to youth group, for example, on a Wednesday night. Wow.

[John Fuller]

That was double duty.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Well, I'll tell you what, there was no way anybody asked a question when we were done with that devotion. Anybody have a question? No. Yes, exactly. So we wanted to go. But that was something that I wrestled with. Then when I became a dad and I had boys and I remembered how I was bored and tried to hide it, and the thought that my boys would be bored was killing me.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, it's kind of God's sense of humor, right? You're thinking, I used to be that boy. Now you're the dad with those boys. That's so funny.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yeah. Well, I struggled with it and I tried different variety. Had probably half a bookshelf of devotional books that I started and stopped. And then I try a new one and work with that with the boys. And I thought it would work, but it Just didn't seem to work well with them. Then I'd stop for a while. So I was this stop and start dad with family devotion in that regard.

[John Fuller]

I mean, it does take. And I was thinking about this. Temperament plays a role in this. I think if you're, you know, a dad that likes that and recognizes the energy needed to keep a particularly young boy. But girls, too, engaged in the devotional time, depending upon their age, 5, 7, 8. I mean, those are times. Okay, this is getting very disconnected, Right. So was there a moment or was it a progressive awareness that you had that, okay, we gotta make this more proactive, more physically engaging, etc.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Well, I think I hit a point of desperation because I was not finding anything that was really working. And as the kids are getting older, it gets progressively harder. One time I did this little coin trick thing that I knew, but I tied in a little spiritual application to it, and the kids were engaged. They thought that was pretty good. That nugget of truth that you give at the end kind of got melded in with the coin trick you did. So they were engaged in that. And the next week I tried another one and they were engaged again. I began to think, oh, my goodness, it's this doing something with them rather than just talking to them that was making a difference. And in time, one of the boys said to me at one point, hey, dad, when are we going to have family devotions? And it was that question I'd never asked my dad.

[John Fuller]

Yeah.

[Tim Shoemaker]

And I realized, okay, we're onto something. Is active, object lesson oriented, or you do an activity. Sometimes we take a little outing. And then eventually I started writing them down. I didn't want my boys to struggle someday like I had.

[John Fuller]

Oh, that's good. So you kind of did that for your own children.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yeah.

[John Fuller]

In the future when you have children.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yes, exactly.

[John Fuller]

That's so cool. Now, one of the things you did is something to do with electrocuting a pickle. Yeah. Okay, so what's the spiritual lesson?

[Tim Shoemaker]

You know what? Here's what happens. You take just a regular light duty extension cord that you might have for a lamp. You cut off the socket at the end, Right. So you've got the wires exposed. Then you just wrap a nail on each end and put a little electrical tape.

[John Fuller]

So now you're showing us this for the radio listener.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yeah, yeah. Right.

[Jim Daly]

Check out the YouTube to see this array of things that Tim and I.

[Tim Shoemaker]

And so now you take a nice big dill pickle and you can put. Without this being plugged in, you put One nail in one side, one nail in the other side. And when you plug it in first you'll hear some sizzling. And then all of a sudden it lights up.

[John Fuller]

The pickle.

[Tim Shoemaker]

The pickle lights up. It looks like there's a battle going on inside there, like fireworks. So of course, the guys love that. And if you dim the lights, you know, the kids love it all the more. It's like.

[John Fuller]

And again, the spiritual application. Here is the application.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yes.

[John Fuller]

I'm thinking through what story in the Bible connects to this pickle.

[Tim Shoemaker]

So what we did is say, hey, kids, this pickle is like us as a Christian. And we've got two major influences. Just like we've got a positive and a negative lead here. We've got a positive called the Holy Spirit for a Christian, right? We've got a negative, and that's our old nature. And inside there's going to be wars all the time of things that we know we shouldn't be doing, but we're doing them. There'll be a battle or things that we want to do. We know we shouldn't. There's a battle. And how do we beat this battle? Well, you could take out one lead or the other and the battle's over. And it's the same thing with the Christian life. We're supposed to use the power of the Holy Spirit and a little self control to push back that old nature and that battle will come back. We keep fighting it until we win that one, and then there'll be something else. Now, too many times what we do is we push back. The Holy Spirit battle is over. We don't feel convicted about it, but we've been quenching the Spirit. That's not what we want to do. So, yeah, we share some scripture and can do a little activity like that to remind them of this battle that goes on inside.

[John Fuller]

You know, it's interesting. The Lord tends to teach us in that way. Of course, with the scripture, we have record of him teaching the disciples in that way. Give me a mustard seed. Give me a coin. I mean, he used object lessons with items all the time.

[Tim Shoemaker]

That's right, Jim. I think every time he did a healing, it was really a visual. It was an object lesson. It was a miracle. Yes, but, you know, here's somebody that's lame and now they're not. What did we just learn here? He was able to teach people so powerfully that way. And I think one of the greatest illustrations of that is the one lesson that Jesus had to make sure that his followers got this was the one. If there was ever a time to huddle him up and say, let's talk, this was going to be the time. And he chose an object lesson and that was the cross. And he demonstrated, you know, this is love, this is forgiveness. And he demonstrated that forgiveness and that salvation for us through a visual, through an object lesson. And of course, people never forgot it. And probably half your listeners have got a cross around their neck or they've got one in the cabinet someplace that they wear.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, you know, when you think about it, and I try to stay up on some of the neuroscience, not all of it, but they now, you know, researchers will say when that kind of lesson is taught, our minds retain it far better. I mean, there's a mechanism in our minds when we're seeing something and having that explained to us, but we're seeing the object, et cetera, the way our brains are wired by God, it just fires a memory. I can remember things from my childhood that are fresh as the color of it, the moment, what was happening because of the intensity of the memory. And that's what you're doing in many ways. You're creating a more intense, not negative, but a more intense experience for that child to remember the lesson.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yep. You do some sort of activity, some sort of object lesson, some sort of visual, and on the tail end of that you're sharing scripture and a nugget of truth and they just etch together in their mind and they can remember these things for years.

[John Fuller]

Your six year old niece wasn't.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Oh yeah, she was six or eight, something like that. We went to a used car lot because I wanted to talk to the older kids that we had with us about dating and the kind of person that they want to fall in love with or go out with at some point. And it was, remind him about that. And so she was just a tag along. And we did this, this little thing where we went to the used cars and have them pick a car that they wanted. What's their dream car or truck? Price is no object, we're not buying anything. And so each one picked what they wanted and they told us why. And the guys were often like, well, I think, you know, this car looks so fast. Or, you know, what would the guys say if they saw me pull up with this? You know, it was all about the looks. And girls in the group, they were more like, well, I just, I like the color, this looks so cute. Or whatever it was about the car. It was like, these are used cars. If you want a car to Go to the distance. What really matters is what's under the hood. Right. The engine. And you need a mechanic for that. It's the same thing when you're looking at the opposite sex. You know, is we can get so wrapped up with the outer things, but we really need to be looking at the heart. And who knows the heart? Only God. So we need to stay close to God and have him. That's good. Yeah.

[John Fuller]

The mechanic of the heart. Yeah, the creator of the heart.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Exactly. And ask him to help us fall in love with that heart. Well, years later, years later, we're talking, I don't know, 15, 20 years, some conversation came up. And here my niece, that was this little one tagging along, remembered that lesson perfectly in the lesson behind it. And it just was just underscored how well we remember. Just like what you were saying, Jim.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, it makes that point. Well.

[Jim Daly]

Our guest today on focus on the family with Jim Daly is Tim Shoemaker. And we're touching on some of the points and the principles in his excellent book, the very best Hands on Kind of dangerous family devotions. And this is 52 activities yous kids will never forget. And we want to get a copy of this book into your hands and you can find it when you click the link in the show notes.

[John Fuller]

I think we need one of those disclaimers. Focus on the family does not endorse this book. We love it. We do endorse it. We think it's great.

[Jim Daly]

I just am still thinking about burnt pickles and what that smells like.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Oh, they smell terrible. But the kids love it.

[Jim Daly]

This is the point.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

So I am prone to be more serious in teacher. I know this surprises you, Jim, but firstborn, last born, our devotions. I tried to do what you were expressing where you sit down and okay, you're four, so you should be able to listen to this 20 minute exposition of scripture. So help me understand just a little bit more because it sounds like you're kind of light on the bible teaching here.

[John Fuller]

Oh, he's bringing a challenge. Here we go.

[Tim Shoemaker]

You know what? Sometimes the little nuggets of truth are the deepest things. Think about how Jesus taught so often. He just hit with this zinger all of a sudden. He hit with this nugget of truth that you could chew on for a long time. There was real depth there. But it was something that was so succinct, that was so easy to remember. And so with this, there are times you'll go deep. The discussion will go deep. You're going to hit deep. Truth but you're going to get into it in a very easy way. And so these type of devotions I'm suggesting, these are once a week. You know, John, we probably have parents out there that are doing something every night. And I'll say, do that. Wonderful. Keep it going. But once a week, swap it out, because I know kids are pretty good at pretending they're listening, and they're not always listening. They can check out, but they can't check out when you do this. So once a week, you do something like this, and you would be surprised as these nuggets of truth get in their hearts and their mind. They can make a difference.

[John Fuller]

Where in the world would I find 52 great ideas? No, it's true.

[Jim Daly]

I love it.

[John Fuller]

That's what makes this so easy. You spoke in the book about I love this. I don't know what your devotional budget is, but you took the kids to a stock car race. Gene, did you hear that? What? A budget for devotions. It's a devotional time. But how great. You took him to a stock car race. I guess. What was the object lesson and how did it go over?

[Tim Shoemaker]

Well, I wanted to talk to them about manhood, because, again, these work all the way through when your kids go into high school. I want to talk about kind of a manhood issue. What kind of a man do they want to be? And so we went to the Stockholm race. There was no teaching. We just went there and did what you do. You watch them go around the oval. Each race, you're picking who you want to win, and you're hoping for a little action on the turns and things like that. And it was over. On the drive home, I just asked the boys, I said, hey, guys, tell me what you saw. What did you observe tonight? And I was going to use that as a springboard to get into what I wanted to talk about, but they just opened the door. They gave me this lob pitch. One of the boys said, we saw a bunch of men driving around in a circle, trying to get ahead of each other. And another one said, and they ended up right where they started.

[John Fuller]

Pretty much the same spot.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yes. Right. And I'm kind of gripping the wheel, just sort of shaking, you know, is it night? And I'm thinking, oh, my goodness, this was perfect.

[John Fuller]

You didn't even say a word.

[Tim Shoemaker]

You know, it was so good. And to say, guys, this is the way it is with most men their entire life. They're going in circles. They're not really going anywhere with the world's way, and they end up pretty much where they started, with nothing. And if you want to go the world's way, yeah, you better like the oval track, because that's what you're going to have. But if you go God's way, he'll take you on a journey. It's not going to be in a bunch of circles. And you are going to. You're going to bump some people, but not to get ahead, just to impact them for the Lord. And I'm telling you what, your dad chose the journey, and I've loved it, and I hope you choose the same.

[John Fuller]

Yeah, that's so good. Hey, one of the things, Tim, is it's so crucial for parents to pass down their faith. I mean, we all think about it as Christians, as faithful Christ. How are we going to do this in a way that sticks and makes a difference? Deuteronomy gives us the classic verse about the importance of teaching your children God's Word. But you found Psalm 78 to be really helpful. What did you catch in Psalm 78?

[Tim Shoemaker]

You know, there was four things in the Deuteronomy examples. It gives a clear command, we're to teach our kids. We're to teach that next generation. And grandparents are on the hook for that, too. Deuteronomy 4. 9 points out, but it doesn't give us the why. And maybe the why should be obvious. But as a guy, I always react better when I understand the why behind it. But one time as I'm reading Psalm 78, I'm seeing the whys behind it, and it gives four quick payoffs there. If I jump in, maybe the middle of verse four here, it says, we'll tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children. There's the reference to Deuteronomy, right? So the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born. And they in turn would tell their children, and they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds, but would keep his commands. They would not be like their forefathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful. So these four things, so the next generation would know in the course of one generation. And we've all seen it. We've seen extended family where in one generation they didn't teach their kids and the truth was lost, and we don't want that. And so they would Put their trust in God, yes, for salvation, but also trusting that his way is right. We live in a world that is saying what we as Christians think is wrong. The world says, no, that's right. Embrace it.

[John Fuller]

It's so accurate. And that's Psalm 78. What a great reference. For us as parents to do that and be faithful about it, God has to own the outcome. But what he wants us to do is make sure we're exposing our kids to the word of God, living the word, even with our mistakes. I mean, I think that's one of the great lessons your kids can see is when you need to apologize for not behaving biblically. And that's okay. That gets into the whole brokenness of who we are. We're all sinners, saved by grace. It's so important for your kids to.

[Tim Shoemaker]

See that when we mess up, we fess up. And that's something that is so important. One of the things I found with leading family devotions that was a surprise to me was that the Holy Spirit, you know, kept tapping you on the forehead and reminding you where you need to shape those things up yourself. And so then sometimes when I say, oh, guys, did you hear how I talked to Mom? That's exactly what we were talking about. That's, you know, I need to say I'm sorry to you. I need to say I'm sorry to mom and I need to have a talk with the Lord about that, don't I? And you know what, Jim John? One of the things that was so powerful about leading family devotions is that God kept changing me. And I think over the course of a year, year and a half, I really believed I was in a different spot than I would have been if I hadn't been doing family devotions. Now I was trying to benefit the kids, right? Here's this huge benefit to me because I didn't lose my kids respect by confessing, by admitting that we do it wrong. We don't lose their respect. We're making those adjustments. And I was able to speak into their life all through their teenage years. It's really hard to rebel against somebody you respect, right?

[John Fuller]

Yeah, totally. Tim, let me ask this question because it pops up here, you know, the responsibility of devotions, family devotions. I mean, mom and dad were looking at each other like, okay, who's going to take the lead on this? Dad. You know, it's like dad's responsibility. It's one of the things you have to do when you get home from work. But I don't know Speak through that whole negotiation with the parents. How do we want to manage this? We're new parents. You know, the kids are five. We got to start maybe thinking about this or doing it already. Just walk through what that might look like. And like I mentioned a while ago, does temperament play into that? If mom's got the kind of outside the box thinking, is it good for her to take the lead and dad support? But what do you think in terms of the structure, the discussion within the parents? How do you want to manage this? How much thought should we give that?

[Tim Shoemaker]

Well, I think we want to. The main priority is we want to make sure that we're teaching our kids right. And so if that means mom does it or dad does it, or mom and dad together, one way or the other, we have to do it. And often with mom and dad, they can divide up the responsibilities based on where their comfort zone is. So it might be that mom has got the book and she says, hey, you know what, honey? This week I think we ought to do this one here. It's going to involve this, this, and this. Would you be able to pick these things up? Yeah, I'll pick these up. And could you run this activity? Yeah, I got that. And so maybe dad runs the activity. Maybe mom ties in the nugget of truth. What do the kids see? Mom and dad working together. Spiritual truth. It still works.

[John Fuller]

There is a certain power to dad engagement. I mean, mom is there and Mom's consistent. We all know a mother's love, right? Dad tends to be the wild card, you know, and when dads are engaged, I think the evidence, the social science would say that when Dad's engaged in the family, really good outcomes occur. And when he's not, bad outcomes can often occur. So that's important. And for moms to work with dads to get that done, even if mom needs to organize that a little bit for dad, because he's not thinking that through. That wouldn't be any of us, right? No. I always appreciated that when Gene would say to me, hey, I think this would be a great devotion tonight. On that note, we often rely, even as Christians, we rely on our church to deliver these youth groups and kind of the main teaching for our children. That's not the best way to think of this, right? We should be that provision of God's truth in their life and God's word. And then the church, with all their programs, is the auxiliary component.

[Tim Shoemaker]

They augment what we're already doing. You think about it in the middle of the night, especially as we have teenagers when they're wrestling with something, when they need to talk to somebody in the middle of the night, the youth group isn't there. It's mom and dad. And if we've been having these open conversations, it's much easier for us to be there. But yeah, we want to be the main one influencing and teaching our kids. And like I mentioned earlier, my dad was my hero. And, you know, that made a big difference. I wanted to be a dad like him. I wanted to be a man like him. And we see these things as he even taught the word, even when sometimes that was boring. I saw his dedication to it, that he lived it out.

[John Fuller]

So it wasn't for naught. For those that have done it kind of that structured way. Well, Tim, this has been so good and many good reminders on how we should approach family devotions and 52 ways to do that. I mean, this is a great resource. And then I'm sure you can think of your own, but the very best, hands on, kind of dangerous family devotions rolling downhill once again. But I do love this book and I think as a dad, as a dad who wants to make devotions fun sometimes, to my wife's chagrin, I think you should do it. And I'm. I'm teasing with that. Gene was always in with the fun stuff, and I think it's good when you can do that together. But think about making it memorable, not boring. If you're aiming for boring, I think you're aiming for the wrong thing.

[Tim Shoemaker]

And think of too. Jim, think of grandparents often, you know, we've got the kids with us and we're like, what are we going to do? Wow. To be able to.

[John Fuller]

That's a great idea to teach.

[Tim Shoemaker]

A nugget of truth. Deuteronomy 4. 9 puts that on us as grandparents. We've got to teach that generation.

[John Fuller]

And one last punch, Tim, when it comes to structured versus a little less structured, remember, you did this for years with your boys. Where are they today and what's the outcome?

[Tim Shoemaker]

By God's grace, we've got our oldest one. He's a recording engineer and he's active in his church and leading his family with the Lord. So that's great. Our middle son, he's a pastor, so that worked out really good. And we've got a. Our youngest son is a paramedic. And so that poor wayward guy. Yeah, right.

[John Fuller]

Paramedic. Who's not serving the Lord. He's like serving him every day. Saving lives, right?

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yeah, he saves lives. One saves souls and such. But yeah, it's this thing where all three are leading their families in the faith and that is just a gift from God.

[John Fuller]

Well, this has been great. I think you feel the enthusiasm that we have for this and the importance of it. So if you're a grandparent and you have your grandkids, this would be a great book to subtly purchase for your adult children and purchase. You can just make a gift of any amount to focus on the family and we'll send it to you as our way of saying thank you for being part of the ministry. If you can do that monthly, that really helps focus with our budget. A one time gift is good as well.

[Jim Daly]

Donate today as you can when you call 800 the letter A in the word family 800-232-6459 or look for the links to donate and get a copy of this book. The Very best Hands on Kind of Dangerous Family Devotions. The links are in the show notes.

[John Fuller]

Tim, I'm sitting there looking at all the things you've got laid out. The radio folks can't see it but the youtubers can see it and what I'd like to do and we haven't talked about this but let's go a little extra for the website and people can come and take a look at it. But we'll go through the mousetrap and the goggles and some of the other wonderful funny looking things you brought today and parents can take a look at application of those. So we'll spend five minutes there at the website. Can we do it?

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yeah.

[John Fuller]

All right, let's do it. Come visit us at the website to see a little bit more how you can put these things into play.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Yeah.

[Jim Daly]

Plan to follow up and see more from Tim and then also plan to join us next time on behalf of the entire team. Thanks for watching and listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller and we'll see you next time. As we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

[Tim Shoemaker]

Your marriage can be redeemed even if the fights seem constant. Even if there's been an affair, even if you haven't felt close in years. No matter how deep the wounds are, you can take a step toward healing them with a Hope Restored Marriage Intensive. Our biblically based counseling will help you find the root of your problems and face challenges together. We'll talk with you, pray with you and help you find out which program will work best. Call us at 1-866-875-2915.