← Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Trusting God When He Doesn't Answer Your Prayers (Part 1 of 2)
00:27:18
Loading summary
Transcript57 lines
- [00:00]
Focus on the Family Announcer
If you're a pastor wanting to save and strengthen marriages in your congregation, we've got a great tool for you. Marriage 911 by Focus on the Family trains laypeople to mentor couples who may be on the verge of divorce or who want to strengthen what they already have. The kit includes two leader guides, four workbooks, and all the training necessary to meet with and mentor men and women who need help. Visit marriage911.com that's marriage the numbers911.com.
- [00:39]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
So I want to say to everyone today, bring your doubts to God. You know, you have questions, you have doubts, you have mysteries, bring it to God.
- [00:49]
John Fuller
Dr. Erwin Lutzer is with us today on FOCUS on the FAMILY with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller. And today we're going to be diving into a topic that every believer wrestles with at some point and that is prayer. Stay with us for some great biblical insights and heart on this topic.
- [01:06]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Jen.
- [01:06]
Jim Daly
Frequently Christians and non Christians will explore prayer. They'll ask themselves, why do we do it? Does it really matter? Is God really there? Does he hear it? Does he answer? And we're going to explore those tension points. And you know, sometimes there's non tension points as well. I remember playing football in high school, didn't know whether I wanted to do college ball. I got scholarship offers and I knelt down and prayed in that visiting locker room at Big Bear, California, said, lord, if you don't want me to play college ball, break a bone today, but don't let it hurt. Third quarter of that game, my collarbone got snapped in half. It didn't hurt. I went, okay, I'm going to take that as an answer to prayer as a 17 year old boy. And you know, that was just the Lord's way of saying, I heard you, I'm with you. You want an answer, here it is. So that was a very direct answer to prayer that I received. Sometimes it's going to happen like that, sometimes it won't. And we want to help you think about what, why today with a very special guest.
- [02:05]
John Fuller
Yeah. And I've got friends right now who are dealing with really deep difficulties in life. And God doesn't seem to be answering the way they want or right away. And we're going to be talking about those kinds of circumstances as well. Dr. Erwin Lutzer is a theologian and pastor emeritus of the Moody Church in Chicago. He served there for 36 years as senior pastor. He's on three radio programs with 1,000 different outlets in the US and internationally and online. And he's authored more than 70 books. We're so pleased to have him here to talk about this one called why Doesn't God Answer My A Biblical Guide to God's hidden purposes.
- [02:43]
Jim Daly
Dr. Lutzer, welcome back. It's always good to have you here.
- [02:46]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
So glad to be with you today, Jim. And we're going to be talking about a topic as you introduced it, namely, why doesn't God answer our prayers? Now, I'm sure that this is your experience, it's been mine, where so many people deconstruct from the Christian faith because they pray something, they're in desperation, God doesn't seem to answer. And so they say, to quote the words of one man, God isn't worth a nickel to me. So we're gonna help people to understand that God has hidden purposes. And we're gonna use some biblical examples to help them to process, as all of us need to, the whole issue of unanswered prayer.
- [03:28]
Jim Daly
Yeah, and that statement, I mean, on the one hand that reality is good, that people can express that and you can express it to the Lord. He's big enough to hear your concerns and your complaints, but far better to figure this out so that your expectations don't lead to a disconnection. Right. That you think, why doesn't God answer my prayer or every prayer, et cetera. You had an acquaintance who didn't want to attend a prayer meeting, so I'm assuming that person was a Christian who was afraid that God wouldn't answer his prayer.
- [04:02]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Well, they prayed for their pastor, they had an all night prayer meeting. And this woman said, if God didn't answer all those prayers, I'm leaving Christianity. Now, she is a Christian and she'll probably come back. But the deep disappointment in God, which is what we're going to be talking about, is everywhere. And so, for example, when it comes to healing, and we can talk about that, about the fact that people frequently pray that they will be healed, as the example is that I've just given and God doesn't come through. And so they are deeply disappointed. And oftentimes it erodes their faith and they stop praying about anything.
- [04:49]
Jim Daly
Well, let's build the framework here. What or how would you describe the purpose of prayer?
- [04:58]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
That's an excellent question. The purpose of prayer is to get us beyond our requests to fellowship with God. And that's one of the mistakes that is often made. You know, we treat God like a slot machine. You know, I need this, I need that. But ultimately, why is it that we have so many needs? The answer is to Bring us into God's presence and to help us all to understand that we have a greater need for God and his presence than we do the answers to our prayers.
- [05:33]
Jim Daly
Let me ask you this, Dr. Lutzer, because, you know, you go back 2,000 years and what the early Christians were dealing with. So many creature comforts that didn't exist, indoor plumbing, just simple things. And it seems to me that most of those prayers were around physical need. People couldn't walk, people couldn't see, people couldn't hear. Well, the Lord, along with the disciples and those around him, were able to pray for people. And obviously the book of Acts is full of stories where people were made whole. In today's environment, it feels like, you know, the needs are met, but we have a certain self, higher self orientation. You mentioned it as a slot machine. So we're just playing this kind of thing with the Lord where we want more or better or something that brings us greater comfort. And that's not the healthiest place spiritually to be, I wouldn't think.
- [06:36]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
And in the book of Acts, of course, these miracles occurred because they were done by the apostles. Later on throughout church history, you don't see the same miracles. But in answer to your question, Jim, many people treat prayer like they do an oxygen mask on an airplane. Now, when we flew here from Chicago, we didn't need the oxygen mask, for which we were grateful, but we were glad that it was there. And many people say, well, now we're in trouble. Now we need God. Yes, you do. But actually, it's deeper than that. You have to understand that your fellowship with God has to continue despite the disappointment. People can spill out their hurt before God. God can take it. It's oftentimes at the end of our rope when we tell God what we think of him and do it reverently, hopefully that God begins to pour grace into our souls and we experience his presence.
- [07:39]
Jim Daly
Yeah, and that's so good to REM. And I think that point of relationship is the key. I mean, we're created for relationship. So the evidence of that prayer life is to be in relationship with God. And we're going to get into so much of that. How can we embrace the mystery of prayer? I mean, prayer is rather a mystery. I mean, yes, sometimes, no, often. What is the mystery of prayer?
- [08:07]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
I'm thinking of the early apostles and those who suffered for their faith. I'm sure that before they were burned at the stake or they were taken and crucified as Peter was, they were probably praying for deliverance. But here's the key. There's a difference between asking God for specific things and committing ourselves to God. I believe that there are many people who are listening right now who are going to find a change in their lives when they finally give their requests to God and commit those requests to God, not demanding a certain answer, but being willing to receive whatever he gives them. And that's an important lesson for us to learn. So they didn't always get the answer to their prayers either. And we have to understand, none of us can comprehend the mystery that you referred to because back behind God, so to speak, he's working things that we don't see. And that's where faith comes in. Right. So I want to say to everyone today, bring your doubts to God. You know, you have questions, you have doubts, you have mysteries. Bring it to God. It's not wrong to doubt if you're an honest doubter. Now, dishonest doubters, that's a different thing.
- [09:30]
Jim Daly
Yeah, but in that, I mean, the end of that is critically important, that God's purposes may not be known to us. He had a purpose for John.
- [09:39]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Oh, and Jim, we're going to be giving some illustrations of that.
- [09:43]
John Fuller
And before you move on, what was Jesus assurance to John there in the prison cell? What did he send back as a message?
- [09:49]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Well, he sent back a message about the fact that miracles were being done. And then Jesus said, blessed are those who are not offended because of me. If I could give a very contemporary response to that, it would be blessed are those who are not upset with the way I run my.
- [10:09]
Jim Daly
The way I run the shop. I mean, that's funny, but accurate. And I think that's the whole point, you know, again, so much of this life mirrors what God's trying to teach us in a spiritual context. So you have marriage. What's the biggest issue in marriage? Typically, expectations that are unmet, what I expect of my spouse. And then you spend a lifetime better understanding what the relationship should be. It is exactly the same thing with our relationship with the Lord. What are our expectations and what should be the proper, healthy expectations of our relationship with the Lord?
- [10:44]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Blessed are those who have no reason to believe. That's visible, but yet they keep believing. That is indeed the height of faith.
- [10:56]
Jim Daly
And that's every one of us have proclaimed Christ are in that category in this century. I mean, we have to look back 2000 years when he walked and say, okay, I believe. I believe he's the Messiah. I believe he did everything he said. I believe the word of God is true and right. So let me ask you this. You had a great story in the book about a man you called Ted, who wrote a letter about his unanswered prayers. Share that story about Ted.
- [11:21]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
This is so critical to many people listening. Ted was listening to a word of faith evangelist who said that if you believe God, he'll give you money. That's the essence of it. And there are many who teach that thing. So Ted tried it. He's a believer, he's in prison, but he's trusting God both for health, because he had some health issues, and for money, and none of it came to pass. So he writes and says, what's wrong? Well, of course I answered, but here's the point. I want to speak about healing, since that's oftentimes a pressure point for people is healing in the atonement. Yes, of course Jesus died for us body, soul and spirit, but we don't get our complete inheritance in this life. Jesus also came to abolish death, and that hasn't happened. So, yes, there's physical healing that we shall receive, but we can't insist on it. Now, even faith healers who teach that you can have whatever you want if you have faith, they end up dying. And so what we need to do is to understand that you can name it, but you can't always claim it.
- [12:37]
Jim Daly
Yeah, you know, and I appreciate that. One of the things that can be complicating for a non believer or a new believer and probably some mature believers, is this idea of God's omniscience. He knows. He knows the day we're going to die. He knows the number of hairs on our head. I mean, that's pretty profound. The point is he knows everything. That's what that scripture is trying to say, in my opinion. But in that context, if he already knows everything in that way, again, is prayer really there to move him?
- [13:12]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Jim, let's go back to Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says this. When you pray, don't use repetition like the heathen do, for your father knows in advance what you need, and then what's the next thing out of his mouth when you pray, pray our Father who art in heaven, and you end up with, you know, give us this day our daily bread. So Jesus acknowledged both, on the one hand, God knows exactly what we need. On the other hand, we're to ask for it, and we have to embrace that mystery.
- [13:49]
John Fuller
And we've really centered on kind of individual prayers. But there's an element of corporate, corporate prayer that I think a lot of us don't experience because many in the Christian community are just kind of going solo. So how important is that? And why.
- [14:01]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Why should we pray with one another? It's so important that we not only individually connect with God, but even as a corporate group, as a church. Why? What God wants to do is to help us to understand, number one, we can't face life alone. It should be done in the company of other believers. As we run the race of life, we run together. The other thing is, it's so important for us to understand that we need the support of other believers in the midst of our distress. Now, we can't get into the whole story right here, but John, do you remember Jesus in Gethsemane said to Peter, James and John, come and watch with me. Now, they blew it because they slept. But the point is, even Jesus said, I need people around me. I remember a woman who was divorced and her husband actually kidnapped the child. Terrible situation. And she said, I'm praying about it. I said, do you have other believers to pray with you? She said, no, I don't. I said, you have to have that. You have to have people who sympathize with you, people who believe along with you, people who. Because we are, after all, one body. So that's why I think corporate prayer is so important. And one of my burdens, actually, as a pastor is to know the number of churches that no longer have prayer meetings. And I think that's a tragedy.
- [15:30]
Jim Daly
Yeah. So much so, let's talk about the benefits of prayer, that personal transformation that takes place when we pray. You know, so often we're coaching those around us. We do that here at Focus. Here's how, when you're in the heat of a battle in your marriage, here's how to back up, take a deep breath, kind of de escalate and approach the problem a little more godly, and you'll have a better outcome. I think prayer is just like that when you come into prayer. And as we lay those burdens on the Lord, we share our burdens, burdens with God. Something does change our heart and our attitude. What is that change, Jim?
- [16:13]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
This is so critical. We must recognize that oftentimes people who pray, lord, help me, should be praying, lord, transform me. And they are willing to pray for the Lord's help, but not for his transformation. The best example of this comes from the book of James. James says, you pray and you receive, not because you ask amiss. I think I'm quoting the King James here, that you might consume it on your own lusts Now, James goes on and tells us exactly how to pray. He says, submit yourselves to God. In other words, you're not going to tell God what to do, but you do give him the desires of your heart. Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, because he's going to want to come after you and destroy your prayer life. And then it says, humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and he will raise you up. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. So here's what I want to emphasize. It is not simply asking God for help every time we come. We should say, lord, what is it that you want me to change? What are you trying to say to me? Because after all, prayer brings about transformation.
- [17:34]
Jim Daly
That's so good. I mean, that's. And it's a posture, an emotional and spiritual posture before the Lord. Asking God questions is a good place to go. He is the creator of the universe. Yeah. Right.
- [17:47]
Focus on the Family Announcer
Yes.
- [17:48]
Jim Daly
I mean, we talk about standing in front of or being in a meeting with the richest man in the world, Elon Musk. What would you ask him? Okay, let's go up a few notches. The creator of the universe, what are the questions that you have for him?
- [17:59]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
And I believe that we honor God in our worship, even though there's a great deal of mystery. You know, as an older man, I spend a great deal of time contemplating God. I can't get my mind around the eternality of God, but I meditate and contemplate anyway because I believe that that exalts the Lord. And while I'm on the topic, every morning I recite the same verses. I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth. That's the way I begin. So no matter what's going on around me. And sometimes it's good, sometimes I don't see it as being good, but I accept it, and I want to bless God anyway.
- [18:45]
Jim Daly
You know what's critical in their. Erwin? And I want to highlight this. That attitude is all the difference. That's the point. If you're in a bad spot and you're cursing the Lord, and that can be without language, that's more like, why would you put me in this spot? I mean, that, to me, is a little disrespectful. Rather than saying, lord, I don't understand it. I don't know why I'm in the circumstance, but I'm going to trust you. Those are very different emotions.
- [19:15]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Yeah. Blessed is the person who, when he doesn't receive from the Lord what he wants Nonetheless continues to worship. And in doing that, we honor the Lord. And that's the means of transformation. God wants to transform us. And so prayer is one of the means. But it can't be just simply asking God for requests.
- [19:41]
Jim Daly
You know, I'm so grateful for the characters in the Bible, whether that's, you know, David or Peter. I mean, everybody has their favorite misfit, right? And I say that respectfully because they, too, are human, just like us. Abraham negotiates with the Lord when it comes to Sodom and Gomorrah. Speak to that.
- [20:01]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Fascinating.
- [20:01]
Jim Daly
Yeah, this is good for me.
- [20:02]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Fascinating. The 18th chapter of Genesis. Now, Abraham wants to save Lots and his wife and Lot's daughters. So he begins by saying, God, if you find 50 righteous, will you destroy Sodom and Gomorrah? God says, no. And Abraham goes all the way down to 10 and says, Lord, if there are 10 righteous in Sodom and Gomorrah, you won't destroy it, will you? And God says, no, I won't. Abraham leaves. God leaves. Now the drama begins. He goes home, and he speaks to Sarah. And I'm using my imagination here and says, sarah, I just spared Sodom and Gomorrah judgment because I got God down to 10. And now let's count them. Well, there's Lot. There's his wife. There's his two daughters, which is four. But they are going to marry some young men. And so that's six. And probably these young men come from. From godly parents. There are 10. Well, the next day, Abraham goes out and Sodom and Gomorrah is burning. Obviously, he's thinking, Lot and his wife and family is not going to be spared. But here's the lesson. God sometimes gives us the desires of our heart, but it doesn't come like we expected to.
- [21:27]
Jim Daly
That's a good point.
- [21:29]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
He thought that Sodom and Gomorrah would not be burned, but lo and behold, it was burned. But Lot and his daughters were rescued. So let's remember, God has different ways of answering prayer.
- [21:42]
Jim Daly
Yeah, that is such a good point. I mean, again, we get dashed in our expectations of how God will answer a prayer. And that's equally important right here at the end. Habakkuk is another great example in the Bible of a man who trusted God in tough circumstances. How did he respond to the knowledge that God was sending judgment on Israel? And let me just put that in the context of today, many Christians believe that kind of judgment is coming to us in America.
- [22:11]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Jim, this is so fascinating. It is such a blessing. Habakkuk is praying, God, look at violence. Do something. God responds, I am doing something. I'm bringing the Babylonians to destroy you.
- [22:28]
Jim Daly
Right?
- [22:29]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
And he responds and says, oh, my, I wish I wouldn't have asked. And God says, I am doing something. I'm bringing the Babylonians to destroy you. So Habakkuk goes through all of this agony. How is he going to manage this? He's wrestling with the character of God. But then in the end, he begins to praise God because he begins to understand two attributes of God, number one, his sovereignty and his justice, but also his care for his people. Now, this ends up with Habakkuk's prayer. He says at the end of the book, chapter three. I hear my body trembles. My lips quiver at the sound. Rottenness enters into my bones, my legs tremble beneath me. So he's in fear. Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit beyond the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food. The flocks be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls, yet will I rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God is my strength. He makes my feet like the deers. He makes me tread on high places. And I say to everyone who is listening, if you have a pen or pencil, jot this down. As long as you have a pulse, you still have a praise. And Habakkuk proves that. Now, in the year 1700s, there was a man by the name of William Cooper who struggled with suicide. He took the prayer of Habakkuk, and in his writing, sometimes a light surprises. This is what Habakkuk meant to him. Though vine nor fig tree neither their wonted fruit should bear, Though all the fields should wither, Nor flocks nor herds be there, Yet God the same abiding his praise shall tune my voice. For while in him confiding, I cannot but rejoice. So once again, my friend, if you have a pulse, you have a praise.
- [24:47]
Jim Daly
And in that context, and I want to punch this point right at the end, Dr. Lutzer, what you're describing is a resiliency of faith. And you must, as a pastor, look around and go, how much we need that right now. It doesn't feel like generally we as the church have great resilience of faith. It's like we're weak.
- [25:13]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
We sure are. And some of the reasons for this is the fact that many of us live in a country where there is prosperity. When you go to countries where there isn't, you find this kind of faith. But it's very difficult for us to trust God when everything under us.
- [25:35]
Jim Daly
And that's really the ultimate test. When it falls apart, can you maintain your connection to God?
- [25:40]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Yes.
- [25:41]
Jim Daly
That is Paul when he wrote, in all things, I will be content in all circumstances, not some in all. And we seem not to be able to grasp that for ourselves. And it's right there. Dr. Lutzer, this has been fantastic. I know people are being helped in understanding that relationship and their prayer life, or lack thereof, attitude toward prayer. This has been great. Let's come back for a second day and cover more out of your great book. Why doesn't God answer my prayers? Probably the number one question in the Christian and the non Christian community, can we do it?
- [26:19]
Dr. Erwin Lutzer
We can.
- [26:19]
Jim Daly
Okay, let's do that. And if this is striking a chord with you, which we hope it is, I don't think really most people are satisfied in that prayer life. Get a copy of Dr. Lutzer's book directly from Focus on the Family. What's so good about supporting the ministry? We'll be able to send you the book to say thank you for being part of the ministry. And together we can help more people in their Christian journey to be stronger in Christ, better in their marriage, better as a parent. Save a baby's life. Why not do that when you get a great resource from us?
- [26:54]
John Fuller
Yeah. In the past 12 months, Jim, we've helped almost 1 million people to grow stronger in their faith. That's what your investment does in Focus on the Family.
- [27:03]
Jim Daly
So pretty good investment.
- [27:04]
John Fuller
Donate today. We'll say thanks. As Jim noted by sending this wonderful resource, it's rich in so many ways. Why doesn't God answer my prayer? And you can donate over the phone when you call 800, the letter A in the word family 800-232-6459 or we've got the link in the show notes. And thanks for joining us for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we continue the conversation about prayer with Dr. Erwin Lutzer and once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
- [27:48]
Focus on the Family Announcer
If you're a pastor wanting to save and strengthen marriages in your congregation, we've got a great tool for you. Marriage911 by Focus on the Family trains laypeople to mentor couples who may be on the verge of divorce or who want to strengthen what they already have. The kit includes two leader guides, four workbooks, and all the training necessary to meet with and mentor men and women who need help. Visit marriage911.com that's marriage the numbers911.com.