← Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Focus on the Family with Jim Daly
Trusting God When He Doesn't Answer Your Prayers (Part 2 of 2)
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- [00:02]
Focus on the Family Announcer
Pastors, if you're struggling to help couples in your church whose marriage is in trouble, we can help. Marriage911 by Focus on the Family trains laypeople to mentor married couples. Each kit includes two training guides, four workbooks, and all the training necessary to meet with couples who need help. Go to marriage911.com that's marriage the numbers911.com.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
I said, lord, thank you that you said no to the prayer of your son. Thank you, because if you had said yes, we'd have not been redeemed.
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John Fuller
Dr. Erwin Lutzer is back for another powerful discussion about prayer, why we pray, how God uses prayer to transform us, and how we can learn to align our will with his. Today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, we're going deeper on the subject. I'm John Fuller.
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Jim Daly
John we're going to address one of the hardest areas of the Christian life, and that's when we turn to the Lord in prayer and it doesn't get answered. It doesn't get answered the way we expect. We feel silent or alienated from the Lord, and that is okay to feel that way, but what we do with that is critical before the Lord. It's our attitude. And man, we covered so much great territory last time with Dr. Lutzer. It was good stuff. It really was. And you know, one of the things in our journey together in this life is how do we go deeper into relationship with Christ. And I'm excited because I think day two will be power packed again with how our attitude needs to reside within God's heart and hands. And then what are we learning that process to be deeper in Him.
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John Fuller
Yeah. Be sure to go back and listen to that previous episode with Dr. Lutzer. It's easiest to find on our app and you can download that or you can go online or catch it on YouTube. Now Dr. Lutzer is pastor emeritus of the Moody Church in Chicago. He served there as senior pastor for 36 years, and he's got three radio programs in the US and internationally. He's online. He's a busy guy. He's written over 70 books, and we're so pleased to have him back to talk about this one. Why Doesn't God Answer My Prayers? A Biblical Guide to God's hidden purposes.
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Jim Daly
Dr. Lutzer, welcome back. What a great day we had yesterday.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Jim the reason I'm so excited is because I think that people who have given up on God and given up on prayer are going to be encouraged to go to God with greater faith and greater understanding that his hidden Purposes, though they are indeed hidden from us, are fully known by him. And that even in unanswered prayer, there are tremendous issues that God is dealing with that is hidden from our sight.
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Jim Daly
Yeah. And it, again, is so good, so many lessons out of our discussion last time. You know, one of the biggest struggles that we can have is not an answer in our prayers. It's silence. You know, we don't hear from God, or seemingly we don't hear from God when we've petitioned him for whatever it. Some pain that we have. I guess Paul experienced that he had the thorn in the flesh. And at some point he thought, okay, this is going to stay and I'm not going to pray anymore for that. I've petitioned God. He basically said, no, and we'll keep moving. Job is another example of perhaps that silence that I'm talking about, where he was hit hard. In fact, it's a very intriguing thing, and I'd love you to comment on this too, that Satan entered into the presence of God and said, give me your servant Job. He'll turn on you the minute he has a chance. And God responds to Satan.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Here's a very important lesson. Never interpret the silence of God as the indifference of God. God may be silent, but he is not indifferent. Now, let me pick up on Job, since you mentioned that. Here's the remarkable thing that you have to understand. Job did not know the first two chapters of his book.
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Jim Daly
Right.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
He didn't know that God and Satan had had this dialogue and that he was going to be tested. If he had known that, he'd have been able to endure this trial much better. All that he knows is for no apparent reason. He has 10 dead children on the hilltop. His wife is very skeptical, as we all know. Job's wife is oftentimes highlighted. And Job does not understand any of that. He doesn't know that the whole world is going to hear about his faith later on through the Bible. All that is hidden from him, all that he knows is this. And since we're speaking theology here, he doesn't say the Lord gave and the devil took away. He saw the sovereignty of God behind his experience. And he said, the Lord gave and the Lord took away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. And he said that without any explanations as to what God was doing. That is real faith.
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Jim Daly
Yeah. Erwin, let me ask for that person that is suffering right now, and they've. They've given their prayers over to God and they are interpreting it as, I may not be important to him. I don't feel he sees me. I mean, that's one of the greatest desperations in humanity, not being seen. And then for those that have faith in God, if you translate it, unlike Job, if you translate it to, he doesn't care about me. He doesn't see me in my affliction. It's exactly opposite of what Scripture is telling us. But speak to the heart of that for that suffering person.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
I want to emphasize the fact that the apostle Paul, since you mentioned him at the beginning. The Apostle Paul goes to God because he has a thorn in the flesh from Satan, by the way. That's interesting. And three times he entreats the Lord and says, please take it away. Twice the Lord says nothing. The third time he says, no, but I'll give you grace. And to the person who is suffering there, who has asked God for specific healing as the Apostle Paul did, we don't know exactly what his thorn was. For the person who's suffering there, could I give you that word of encouragement? Cleave to God's grace. We do not have God's understanding, but we do have the assurance of grace. And the fact that Jesus said that all things are known. And he even said to his disciples, don't worry about tomorrow, because today has enough trouble. And what he's saying is, the God who takes care of the birds is the God who is going to take care of you. And he says, are you not of much more value than many sparrows? So, my dear friend, bring your doubts to God, but at the same time, know this, that God is on your side. He is there for you, and he's going to give you grace to endure. And grace is like a pillow upon which a weary traveler can lay his head. You don't have to understand in order to believe.
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Jim Daly
Dr. Lutzer, I often have this thought of the disappointed Christian. I mean, if you were to take your last breath in that moment of angst, God hasn't answered your prayer and you're disappointed. And let's just that assumption that whoop in the next second, you're right in front of the Lord. You're done with this life. It just happened. And you're carrying that into that conversation with God. Man, I don't want to be there. I would much rather be all the examples that you've given. You know, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. That's how it. I would want to enter into heaven with my attitude. I feel like that's a discipline of having, you know, thinking not in fear. This isn't a fearful thought. But I am going to face the Lord. Each one of us is going to face the Lord. Wouldn't you much rather face him with an attitude of gratitude as opposed to, I've got 10 questions for you, Lord.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Yeah. And whether or not those questions will be relevant once you die, That's a question we don't have an answer to. But I want to say, Jim, to the person who is dying with doubts, even though they are true believers, we are not promised an easy journey. We are only promised a safe landing. So when you arrive in heaven, you will arrive there with the knowledge that you were bought by Christ, you belong to him, and you're going to be with him forever. Because we as human beings, oftentimes, I mean, if you were before a firing squad, it might not be a happy experience where you say, oh, Lord, I'm so glad for this. It may be very difficult, it is fearful. But as a believer, you will arrive at your destination and Jesus is going to be there for you, even as he was for Stephen, who was stoned. And that's a very interesting insight into eternity. Stephen is stoned. He looks up into heaven. Jesus is standing. The only time in the New Testament when Jesus is standing, he's always seated at the right hand of God. And Jesus is saying, stephen, these stones are going to hurt. You're going to go through a lot of suffering. But I just want you to know that when you die, I'm going to be here for you.
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Jim Daly
Yeah, that's exactly the point I was trying to make. But you got to contemplate this. Cause it's big. Are you capable of going down like Stephen? Well, attitudinally, maybe not being stoned in the roughness of that, but even man, even in our attitude, to be able to go down with your will be done, Lord.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
And yeah, into Thy hands I commit my spirit. That phrase was on the lips of most people, most martyrs who died for the faith. Yeah. Imitating Jesus, whose last words on the cross were, father, into Thy hands I commit my spirit. And that would be the ideal attitude with which we should die.
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Jim Daly
You know, an interesting story that I've come across. I was out visiting a donor who builds 911 rescue boats in the Seattle area. And wonderful man, and he asked me to come down and just spend a day with them at the factory and watch how they do it. And I'm always. It's like how it's made. And he said, I don't know if Joe's here today, But Joe's got a pretty interesting testimony you're going to need to hear. So I'm thinking the whole time. So we're almost three quarters of the way through the day, and here comes this man running at me, and I'm thinking, this must be Joe. And Joe runs up, and he was on the assembly line in some capacity, but he came up to me and said, hey, I'm Joe. I love focus on the family. Mr. Daly, thanks for being here today. And I said, joe, I've heard you've got quite a testimony. He goes, yeah, yeah, I got a diagnosis of cancer, but cancer, who cares? We're all going to go down. I don't care how we go. I was like, okay, that's an interesting statement. I said, what happened? And he said, well, you know, I had stage four cancer, and that night, I'm already in the hospital getting a chemo treatment. And he said, the brightest light. When everybody left the room, the brightest light appeared at the end of my bed. And it was so pure, pure love. It felt like I was going to pop. And he went through that story, and that wasn't even the most relevant part. He just said, I don't care what gets me. Something's going to get all of us. I can't wait to be tapped into that source of love once again. Wow.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Yes, Jim, you know, the statistics on death are very impressive. And I remember sitting with a man who would die 40 days later, he said to me, if I could sign something to get out of this, I would. But he said, and he was 64 years old, he said, I would have to come back to this moment anyway, because there's no way to get out of death. And so if it happens when you're younger or it happens when you're older, it may not matter much to you. Of course, those who are left behind, they struggle. But, you know, in the book of Hebrews, it says that Jesus died to deliver those who, through fear of death, were all their lifetime subject to bondage. So to the person out there who's a true believer, just know this. Yes, we can't avoid death. We can prepare for it. But the simple fact is this, you are going to arrive in glory.
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Jim Daly
Dr. Lutzer, I have been bursting at the seams here to ask you this question, and I think it's one of the most important questions. As an example, and you've done a great job giving us, you know, Abraham and Job and Paul and others in Scripture. Let's go to the source. Jesus. I mean, he goes into the Garden of Gethsemane. He knows what's coming. He knows his death is imminent. And it's going to be horrible. Scourging, hanging on a cross. And he prays to the Father. What do we take away from how he prayed?
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Jim, I want to share my heart with you and with everyone else who is listening. Because when I studied this, it was so transforming. Here's the thing. First of all, Jesus is in agony. He asks Peter, James and John to join him. They, of course, fall asleep. And he goes, according to Matthew, face down on the ground. And he is in great agony. Why? Because he has to drink the cup that his Father gave him. And we know that the cup is the cup of God's wrath. I want everyone to visualize this. Imagine all of the sin of the world, all compressed, and all of the judgment of God on sin compressed into three hours. And Jesus is going to endure that for a period of time. He's going to be separated from the Father. Fellowship will be broken. The ontological relationship of the Trinity will be totally intact. But Jesus is going to have to say, my God, my God. The only time in the New Testament where he called God God and not His Father. My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? All right, he needs the help of the disciples. So Jesus is going through unbelievable agony. And by the way, if all depression and fear were sinful, Jesus would sin. But he's sinless. I mean, these kinds of experiences are common to all of us.
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Jim Daly
So grief, that kind of grief is okay. That's in the scope of being godly. It's not ungodly.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Now Jesus goes, and three times he prays to the Father. And this is in Mark, chapter 14. Jesus says, Father, all things are possible with you. Remove this cup from me. And he prays that three times. And then Jesus says, nonetheless, whatever you will, let your will be done. Jim, when I realized this, I left my computer desk and I got on the floor before God. Because what I'm going to share was so transforming. Our salvation was founded on an unanswered prayer. What if God had said, yeah, okay, from what I've seen of the human race, let's abort the plan. It's not worth it. These human beings, they're sinners. They love their sin. Let them go and be damned. You and I would not be redeemed. It's because the Father said no to the Son. You have to drink the cup that is the basis of our salvation. And if I could shout this to Everyone who's listening, I would say this, that God may be doing greater things through unanswered prayer than he is through answered prayer. And if I might take the time to just draw a couple of lessons about this, first of all, it's very evident that today's prayerless Christians become tomorrow's backsliders. Here's Peter, James, and John, who fell asleep along with the other disciples. They weren't praying with Christ. And before the chapter ends, you discover that they've all forsaken him. And so if you're a prayerless Christian, this certainly could happen to you. And Jesus said, watch and pray. Jim, you know that the reason we have to watch is to watch for enemies, right? Because there are enemies. And in our homes today, we have to watch for the enemies, the Internet, and everything that comes to us. Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. And we've certainly all experienced that. But here's the thing, though. Jesus Christ's prayer was not answered in the affirmative, his prayer was heard. If you go to Hebrews chapter five, you discover that Christ in his flesh offered prayers and supplications to God. And he was heard in that he feared. Now, eventually, of course, Jesus was raised from the dead. But notice this. According to Greek scholars, the word heard is positive. He was heard. And I want to say to all those who are listening, even your unanswered prayers are heard by God. I remember in Bible College, visiting a home. We were doing some home visitation, and a woman came to the door, and she was wiping her tears from her cheeks. I still remember it vividly, though it was many years ago. And she said, oh, forgive me. I've just been praying for my son. Now, here's the thing. I don't know what happened to her son, but I do know this, that her prayer was heard. So remember this. In Revelation, chapter 5, it says that the 24 elders fell down before the Lord. And it says each of them had a golden bowl filled with incense, which is the prayers of the saints. So, my dear friend, keep praying, keep trusting. Even if your prayer isn't answered. Remember this. God may have a hidden agenda. And let us begin to thank him for unanswered prayers. Because we know that if they are unanswered, there must be a good reason, even if we don't know what that reason is. To be very clear, we have to live by promises, not explanations. And so you and I must recognize here that our Savior experienced unanswered prayer and thank God he did. When I was on the floor before the Lord, when this finally hit me, I said, lord, thank you that you said no to the prayer of your son. Thank you. Because if you had said yes, we'd have not been redeemed. So to repeat, God may have agendas that are much greater than our experience. And what we need to do is to lean into that and say, we don't have to understand in order to keep believing. This is the trial of your faith.
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John Fuller
Right.
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Jim Daly
And that greater is wiser as well. God has wisdom beyond what we could imagine.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
To everyone listening, at the end of the day, it's not my will. It's not your will. Accept the will of God for you, even though it's very different than God's will for somebody else, and say, nevertheless, not my will, but thine.
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Jim Daly
Powerful words and a powerful revelation, actually, that we're saved through an unanswered prayer. What a statement. That had to be the biggest aha in writing this book.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
For a moment, I shuddered.
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Jim Daly
Yeah.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Oh, God, thank you, Father, that you did not answer the prayer of your son.
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Jim Daly
Think of the pain of that.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Yeah. And then Jesus drank the cup, and the cup came from the Father. I need to explain this. Wicked hands crucified Christ. But there's a limit to what wicked hands can do. There comes a time when wicked hands can no longer do anything, and we are in God's hands. So Jesus experienced all of the wickedness of Herod, of course, and the Romans and the Jews and all that. But that was okay. That was the cup that was given to him by his father. And I'm speaking to people today who are going through suffering at the hands of unbelievers, maybe also the hands of believers. They need to see that this cup has been given to them of God. The source may be evil, but ultimately, because it's under God's control, God is using that for good. And so Jesus drank the cup, and thank God he did.
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Jim Daly
Powerful words right at the end here. Dr. Lutzer. Joni Eareckson. Tada is a person that we all know, and her husband Ken. Terrible teenage diving accident left her a paraplegic. She's probably one of the most amazing living inspirations in the world. I mean, she just wakes up gritting through the pain and all the suffering that she deals with to sing for the Lord to paint. But she has to wake up every day with that willingness, speak to the power of her testimony.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
I heard her say, and this, of course, is a paraphrase, that when that accident happened so many years ago. First of all, she wanted to die. She wanted to commit suicide. She couldn't do that, thankfully. And then she said she went to healing services and everyone told her that. John, chapter five is the story for you. It's the story of the man at the pool of battle, Bethesda. About 40 years later, she's taken to Israel, of course, she's in a wheelchair, and she goes to the pool of Bethesda. And she said that when she sat there, she thanked God that she had not been healed 40 years earlier because of all the good that God did through her as a result of her suffering. Thank God, even when your prayers are unanswered, because God may have a bigger vision to do in you and through you than you will ever find out about in this life.
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Jim Daly
So true. And you know, Joni, if you're listening, we love you and thank you for that witness. That's what we mean by being a witness for Christ. And sometimes it's the short straw, but she's lived it so well. So well. Dr. Lutzer, this has been so good. There's so much more in the book. We can't cover it all. And, man, everybody needs a copy of this great resource. So thank you for being with us these past two days. Really good, good insights. Thank you.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
Thank you, Jim and John.
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Jim Daly
Yeah. So appreciate it. Let me turn to you and say, have you been praying? Do you have a habit of prayer? Have you made it important in your life? If the answer is no, and I'm not laying guilt on you, I'm just saying prayer is powerful. Prayer is important. I'm so grateful that Gene and I are able to start days mostly with prayer. Not every day, to be honest, but we should be every day together as a couple and certainly as an individual. So it's a discipline. It's a habit that you need to form for all the right reasons. And I know you've heard that through the. The great answers that Dr. Lutzer has provided through the questions. And I hope you'll be wanting to get a copy of this book. Be a partner in ministry with us. Just make a gift of any amount. If you cannot afford it, call us. I'm willing to put my neck out there to say, we'll do that. Trusting others will cover the cost of that if you need it. And everybody, again, should have a copy. Money shouldn't be the issue. And let's not make it the issue. Get ahold of us. Get a copy. If you can support us, we'll send it as our way of saying thank you. If you can't, we're going to send it and help you.
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John Fuller
Yeah. Get in touch today to get this wonderfully rich, practical book by Dr. Erwin Lutzer called why Doesn't God Answer My Prayers? Our number is 800, the letter A and the word family where you can find the details in the show notes. Next time, Dana Gresh will speak about the powerful connection between moms and their daughters.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
And this teenage girl said, my mom looks in the mirror and tells herself out loud every day how ugly and fat she is.
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Focus on the Family Announcer
And she's in tears and she's like,
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Jim Daly
I think my mom's beautiful and I
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Focus on the Family Announcer
look just like her.
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John Fuller
On behalf of the team, thanks for joining us today. For FOCUS ON THE family, we Jim Daly, I'm John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
- [27:46]
Focus on the Family Announcer
Pastors if you're struggling to help couples in your church whose marriage is in trouble, we can help. Marriage911 by Focus on the Family trains laypeople to to mentor married couples. Each kit includes two training guides, four workbooks and all the training necessary to meet with couples who need help. Go to marriage911.com that's marriage. The numbers 9 1.
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Dr. Erwin Lutzer
One.