Summary4 min read

Podcast Summary: FollowHIM Favorites – "ICU (Important Connections Uncovered)"

Hosts: Hank Smith & John Bytheway
Episode Date: August 21, 2025
Focus Scripture: Doctrine and Covenants Section 93
Guest Mentioned (Full Episode): President Steve Lund
Summary Prepared For: August 25-31, Come, Follow Me

Overview: The Importance of Prioritizing Family and Key Relationships

In this short, story-filled "FollowHIM Favorites" episode, Hank Smith and John Bytheway hone in on a single, resonant principle from Doctrine and Covenants Section 93: the Lord’s admonition to Newell K. Whitney to “set in order your house” and increase diligence and concern at home (verse 50). Through personal experience and memorable anecdotes, they explore the temptation to overcommit and the critical importance of focusing on the relationships that matter most—especially family.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Scriptural Foundation: D&C 93:50

Main Point: The Lord’s loving chastening to Newell K. Whitney to attend more carefully to his family responsibilities.
Hank: “As I read that little chastening...please be a little bit more focused on what's happening at home, I thought of a story.” (00:36)

2. Mentor’s Story: A Life-Altering Wake-Up Call

Hank recalls advice from a retiring BYU colleague:

The mentor, much like Hank, had been busy with professional, church, and civic duties—overextended and ever-committed.
The escalation of work hours—“when you first start this job, you go home at 5, then you’re going home at 6. Pretty soon you go home at 7 and it just gets later and later.” (01:50)
Crisis Moment: The mentor collapses at work from overexertion, is rushed to the hospital, and overhears doctors doubting his survival.
Reflection in Crisis: As he faces possible death, his first thoughts are for his many community obligations—but realizes, “Everybody was going to be fine...Except for all of a sudden, I realized there were six people whose lives were never going to be the same...it was his wife and his five children.” (04:13)

3. The Lesson: Saying "No" to Say "Yes" to What Matters

Mentor’s Advice:
- “I learned a good lesson there, to spend my time on things that matter most.”
- “It's easier to say no when you have a burning yes for something else.” (05:19)
- Importance of protecting yes’s for covenant relationships and family.

4. Amplifying the Message: Quotes & Parables

John: Shares a Stephen Covey (author, leadership expert) anecdote, about Covey’s wife gracefully refusing good but less essential commitments:
- “Oh, that sounds like a wonderful, worthy project. I’m so pleased that you would think of me. I won’t be participating, but thank you so much for thinking of me.” (05:48)
- Principle: “We can't do everything that's asked of us, but, boy, who are the people we've made covenants with? Who are the people that are relying on us? That helps you make decisions.” (06:10)
John’s Reminder: Paraphrased from Covey:
- “Why do we work so hard for the things we can’t take with us sometimes at the expense of those we can?” (06:34)

5. Returning to the Scriptures

Hank’s Reflection: “Be more diligent and concerned at home. It helped me. I tried to implement the principle he was teaching me.” (06:42)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Mentor’s sobering realization:
- “The reality hit him that they were going to be fine...the world was going to keep going. Except...there were six people whose lives were never going to be the same.” (04:13) – Hank
“It’s easier to say no when you have a burning yes for something else.” (05:19) – Hank (quoting mentor)
Stephen Covey anecdote on gracefully declining:
- “I won’t be participating, but thank you so much for thinking of me.” (05:48) – John
“Why do we work so hard for the things we can’t take with us sometimes at the expense of those we can? Ooh, ouch.” (06:35) – John

Timestamps for Key Segments

00:36 – Scriptural setup: D&C 93:50 & importance of diligence at home
01:22 – 04:13 – Mentor’s story: Overcommitment, collapse, hospital reflection, and life lesson
05:19 – Lesson: Saying no to less important tasks; “burning yes” principle
05:48 – 06:10 – Stephen Covey/Sandra Covey story on responsible decline and prioritization
06:35 – 06:42 – “Why do we work so hard for what we can’t take with us?” and closing reflections

Tone & Language

This mini-episode is conversational, sincere, and gently introspective—a mix of storytelling, scriptural application, and practical wisdom. Hank and John blend humor with vulnerability, persistently spotlighting the need to prioritize family and relationships over busyness.

Conclusion

Hank and John use scripture, personal experiences, and wisdom from mentors to underscore the critical role of intentional connection at home. Their stories and memorable quotes offer both inspiration and practical strategies for saying "no" to what distracts from our core relationships, making sure our “yes” is reserved for the people and covenants that matter most. For a broader discussion and further stories (including insights from President Steve Lund), listeners are encouraged to check out the full-length companion episode on Section 93.

For full episodes & resources:

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Transcript7 lines

[00:03]
A
Hello everyone. Welcome to Follow Him Favorites this is where John and I are sharing a single story to go with each week's lesson. John the lesson this week is on Doctrine and Covenants, Section 93. Only one section this week. It is incredible, a great one. I have a story for you. Verse 50 in section 93, the Lord is talking to Newell K. Whitney. He says he's going to be chastened or corrected or slapped on the wrist a little bit. This is the problem. He says, newell, you need to set in order your family. You need to be more diligent and concerned at home. As I read that little chastening, please be a little bit more focused on what's happening at home. I thought of a story. When I started at BYU about 15 years ago, I had a few colleagues there who were very kind to mentor me a little bit. One who was on his way to retirement pulled me aside. We were just chatting and he gave me a little bit of a chastening, which I still remember. He said, you are doing a lot. You're a very busy guy speaking around for church units, wards and stakes. I was doing some corporate work. I was writing, wanted to be doing a lot. He said, can I tell you a story? When a little bit of an old timer says, can I tell you a story? You're like, all right, this is probably.
[01:23]
B
Going to be good. This is meant for me.
[01:25]
A
Yep. He said, I was a lot like you once. But I go. He said I was right in the middle of my career and I was doing everything. I was speaking, writing books, I'm writing articles. I'm bishop of my ward, I am coach. I am involved in city government. If it's available for him to do John, I think he was doing it well. He said one late night I was at the office. It was interesting what he said. He said I when you first start this job, you go home at 5, then you're going home at 6. Pretty soon you go home at 7 and it just gets later and later. And he said I was there typing away on a paper. All of a sudden he couldn't breathe. He said, oh man, I'm hurting. I can't breathe. He kind of sat in his chair for a minute and said, whew, man. And he said I didn't feel well. It's getting dizzy, starting to ache and felt like I was going to throw up. And he said I decided I need to go home. He grabs his coat and gets up out of his chair and John collapses out the door. Luckily there was another Bad father there who was in his office. He heard what happened, and he came running out and called the ambulance. And they come get him. They're taking him to the hospital. And he said, I remember waking up at one point. I am in the hospital hallway, I'm laying on a bed, and they are rushing me to somewhere. Lights are going by. The lights in the ceiling. Yeah, he said as he came to, he could hear some doctors talking. It was a terrible, terrible moment when one said to the other, not knowing that my friend was awake, conscious, yeah, this guy's not gonna make it. He thought, oh, no. Like the gravity of this moment, that I'm going to die. Hit him. He said, John. The first thing he thought about was, oh, my poor ward, my poor ward. What are they going to do? He said, john. The reality hit him that they were going to be fine. That would be hard and it would be shocking, but that calling would be filled in a matter of weeks, and they would have a new bishop and a new bishopric and things would move on. And then that kept his thought going of, oh, my poor colleagues. No, they were going to be fine. It would be sad and everyone would mourn, but they would move on. With work, that position would be filled. Eventually, they would put his position up, receive applications, and it was, oh, what about the players on the soccer team? Oh, they're going to be fine, too. Oh, what about the. The people in the. The government committees he was working on? Oh, they were going to be fine, too, John. He realized everybody was going to be fine. In fact, the world was going to keep going. Except for all of a sudden, I realized there were six people whose lives were never going to be the same. Yeah, their lives would be impacted forever. It would change everything for them. From that day on, it was his wife and his five children. Obviously, he doesn't die, John, because he's telling me this story, and he wasn't Jacob Marley. You too, Will. You know, he said, I learned a good lesson there, to spend my time on things that matter most. He said, I learned to say no to things that I needed to say no to. He said, I still say yes. It's not like I say no to every calling. But, hey, can you come on over and help this family move? I can't do that. You want to be on this committee? No. Hey, there's going to be this great project done at work. You're probably going to be in on this, you know. Good luck. I wish you the very best. I hope it goes well. I'm not going to be involved. I think he was quoting someone else, John, when he said, hank, it's easier to say no when you have a burning yes for something else. It really impacted me, John.
[05:38]
B
Yeah, me too. Right now. When you've articulated who are the most important people in my life, you remind me, Hank, of a story that Stephen Covey told about listening to his wife on the phone one day and someone asked her to participate in some wonderful community project or something. I think it's Sandra Covey said something like, oh, that sounds like a wonderful, worthy project. I'm so pleased that you would think of me. I won't be participating, but thank you so much for thinking of me. Because, yeah, we can't do everything that's asked of us, but, boy, who are the people we've made covenants with? Who are the people that were. That are relying on us that helps you make decisions. When you think of it again, it's.
[06:21]
A
Not about saying no to everything. He didn't say that. He said, use the yeses as a little more quality.
[06:28]
B
Your friends saw you running yourself ragged. It's kind of like, again, I think it was Brother Covey, why do we work so hard for the things we can't take with us sometimes at the expense of those we can't? Ooh, ouch.
[06:41]
A
Yeah, I thought of it with that verse 50 be more diligent and concerned at home. It helped me. I tried to implement the principle he was teaching me. We hope you'll join us on our full podcast. It's called Follow Him. You can get it wherever you get your podcasts. We're in section 93, like I said this week, and we're with President Steve Lund. He goes through this section. He also shares a lot of stories about his last five years serving as the Young Men General President. It's a lot of fun. And then come back here next week we'll do another Follow him favorites.