How to forgive someone who cheated 5 years ago (we give YOU advice)

Summary

Episode Summary: How to Forgive Someone Who Cheated 5 Years Ago (We Give YOU Advice)

Podcast: Fool Coverage with Manny MUA and Laura Lee
Hosts: Manny MUA and Laura Lee
Release Date: February 7, 2025

In this episode of Fool Coverage, hosts Manny MUA and Laura Lee dive into a series of listener-submitted questions, providing heartfelt and relatable advice on various personal challenges. The primary focus revolves around forgiveness in relationships, confidence issues, handling workplace dynamics, and navigating the complexities of adult friendships and dating.

---

Advice Segment Introduction

Manny (00:40):
"We are going to be doing an advice column for today's episode. If you guys have anything you want advice on from the fools, we got you guys covered."

Laura (00:59):
"We do love to do this every so often, just connect with you guys and see what you guys are thinking, what you guys are going through."

---

1. Overcoming a Situationship with a Co-worker

A listener asked: "I'm in a situationship with a co-worker. How do you get over it?" (Timestamp: 17:59)

Manny (18:38):
"I feel like for me getting over a situationship, you kind of have to X them out completely."

Laura (19:07):
"You should have even done it from the jump. Unless you're planning on quitting that job."

Advice Provided:

• Distance Yourself: Recognize the unique challenge of ending a relationship with a co-worker due to constant interaction.
• Seek New Connections: Encourage engaging with other people to shift focus away from the former partner.
• Self-Reflection: Understand that some individuals need to experience their mistakes to learn from them.

---

2. Building Confidence Despite Physical Insecurities

A listener shared insecurities about having a flat butt and asked for confidence-boosting strategies. (Timestamp: 20:32)

Laura (20:54):
"I think you gotta learn to love it."

Manny (21:25):
"At the end of the day, you’ve got to find a level of confidence in yourself, regardless of the size of your ass."

Advice Provided:

• Self-Acceptance: Emphasize the importance of loving oneself despite perceived flaws.
• Fashion Tips: Suggest dressing in ways that flatter and boost confidence.
• Physical Activity: Recommend exercises to enhance areas of insecurity, such as leg workouts to strengthen the glutes.
• Positive Affirmations: Encourage affirming self-worth beyond physical attributes.

---

3. Addressing a Friend’s Self-Sabotage

A listener inquired: "My friend is self-sabotaging her life but won't listen to me. Any advice?" (Timestamp: 25:32)

Manny (26:07):
"Some people have to learn through experience. They have to go through it and live with all their mistakes before they can learn."

Laura (26:19):
"As a friend, you can still be their friend, but you don't need to have them in your immediate bestie circle if they're causing you strife."

Advice Provided:

• Boundaries: Set healthy boundaries to protect your own well-being.
• Patience and Support: Continue to offer support without forcing intervention.
• Detachment: Allow the friend to navigate their path while remaining available for eventual reconciliation.

---

4. Enhancing Consistency in Hot Yoga Practice

A listener asked: "I just started hot yoga. How do I get better and stay consistent with my routine?" (Timestamp: 27:32)

Laura (28:03):
"Set yourself up for success by laying out your yoga clothes in advance and making attending classes easy."

Manny (27:44):
"Identify with the practice by seeing yourself as a yogi. Make it an integral part of your identity."

Advice Provided:

• Preparation: Keep yoga gear ready to reduce barriers to attendance.
• Routine Setting: Commit to a consistent schedule to build a lasting habit.
• Identity Alignment: Embrace yoga as part of your self-identity to reinforce commitment.

---

5. Forgiving a Partner for Past Infidelity

The titular question: "How to forgive someone who cheated 5 years ago?" (Timestamp: 35:20)

Manny (36:54):
"You don’t have to forgive him. You broke my trust, I'm over it."

Laura (37:08):
"You definitely don’t have to forgive. That’s the most honest thing you can do."

Advice Provided:

• Assess Trust: Understand that trust, once broken, is deeply impactful regardless of the time elapsed.
• Personal Boundaries: Decide whether the relationship can be rebuilt or if it’s healthier to move on.
• Emotional Processing: Treat the incident as recent to authentically address current feelings and decisions.
• Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional well-being in decision-making.

---

6. Making Friends in Your 30s

A listener posed: "How do I make friends in my 30s?" (Timestamp: 64:47)

Laura (65:21):
"Put yourself in situations where you can meet like-minded people, such as gyms or hobby classes."

Manny (66:27):
"Be brave and ask people to hang out. The worst they can say is no, and you’ll still be fine."

Advice Provided:

• Engage in Activities: Join groups or classes that align with your interests to meet potential friends.
• Proactive Approach: Take the initiative to reach out and build connections.
• Overcome Fear of Rejection: Understand that rejection is a natural part of forming new relationships and not a reflection of your worth.

---

7. Navigating Interview Anxiety

A listener shared struggling with severe interview anxiety and panic attacks. (Timestamp: 57:49)

Laura (58:57):
"Practice mock interviews and research potential questions to build confidence."

Manny (60:42):
"Maintain positive energy by listening to your favorite music and affirming yourself with 'yes' statements to overcome anxiety."

Advice Provided:

• Preparation: Conduct thorough research and practice common interview questions.
• Mock Interviews: Simulate interview scenarios to build familiarity and reduce anxiety.
• Positive Affirmations: Use affirmations and uplifting music to boost confidence before interviews.
• Emotional Regulation: Implement techniques to manage stress and maintain composure during interviews.

---

Final Thoughts and Closing

Laura (64:14):
"I love doing advice giving. It reminds us that we're all human and going through things."

Manny (69:00):
"If you've been comfortable for too long, shake things up to open new doors."

Conclusion: Manny and Laura emphasize the universality of personal struggles and the importance of mutual support. They encourage listeners to embrace change, seek growth, and continue supporting one another through life's myriad challenges.

---

Notable Quotes

• Manny (35:50):
  "You're finding out five years later that happened. But what if it happened again?"

• Laura (36:54):
  "You definitely don’t have to forgive. That’s the most honest thing you can do."

• Manny (60:42):
  "Energy. As human beings, we feed off energy."

• Laura (65:21):
  "Put yourself in situations that you can make friends with."

• Manny (68:12):
  "It's tough, but you have to put yourself out there."

---

This episode offers a blend of personal anecdotes and practical advice, making it a relatable and insightful listen for anyone navigating similar personal and interpersonal challenges.

Transcript

[A]

I think I have the flattest butt ever and have always been insecure. How to be confident. No, you did not.

[B]

Confidence about his ass. Well.

[A]

Welcome to your favorite podcast. It's full coverage with your host, Manny and Mew. Hey.

[B]

And Lauralee. Hey. Hi, you guys. Welcome back, back, back again.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Hey. Happy Friday, you guys. Are you guys alive and well? Yeah. Happy to see us?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. So, you guys, we're going to be doing an advice column for today's episode. We put on our stories. Okay. If you guys have anything you want advice on, some unsolicited or solicited advice from the fools. We got you guys covered. And we do love to do this every so often, just, you know, connect with you guys and see what you guys are thinking, what you guys are going through, and hopefully some of our.

[A]

Advice and we'll do help the best of our abilities.

[B]

We are not professionals. As a reminder, we are take this advice lightly.

[A]

We are not a licensed therapist. We are not professionals. And this is not better health.

[B]

So just know that. Okay? But we are going to do our best that we can to give you guys some advice from the experiences that we've had because we have lived many a life. Many, many, many, many lives that we've lived. But first and foremost, of course, peaks and pits.

[A]

Pikes and pikes.

[B]

Peaks and pits. You want to start?

[A]

I got a quick funny one for my piss.

[B]

Okay. Okay, tell me.

[A]

Whenever we were on the way to the boba shop, which we talked about last week, as soon as. Okay. As soon as I get in the car, I'm like going through all my purse and stuff, touching up my lip. Me and Valer in the back seat, and my fingernail popped off.

[B]

No.

[A]

And I was like, no, because we're about to meet all these people we're about to see. Listening. I was literally like, are you fucking kidding me? This couldn't happen at the house. And I'm such a rookie because this is. This is the rule I have. If you wear false lashes, you bring the nail glue with you. If you put on a press on, you bring the nail. Like you always bring the glue if you're wearing a fake extension. I gotta go get my nails done. I've just been kind of putting it off. So I've been doing press ons for a few weeks.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

That sucker pop right off. And let me tell you, I spent the whole day with my fourth finger down. You can look at every picture.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes. Honey, I ain't getting clocked in the club.

[B]

I didn't know you. Like, I didn't even realize that you.

[A]

Were getting chicken hands. You'll never see it coming. A phantom.

[B]

I'm God.

[A]

Chop that finger off. And I'm like, kidding. I was pissed. I was like, oh, my God.

[B]

Because nail glue wouldn't save that, right? You can keep it down with the nail glue.

[A]

Nail glue. I need a nail glue for the nail.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I didn't have it with me. I didn't have it with me. Rookie. Rookie move.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Big mistake. Usually, like a huge, big mistake.

[B]

And I feel like you usually have it, like, in your bag.

[A]

I do always have it stuck to.

[B]

The bottom of the purse.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Just glued down.

[A]

And isn't it the worst when a.

[B]

Press on goes, oh, pops right the off.

[A]

I gotta go get my nails done and that's that. So. And those will last me. I'll do gel X and they'll last me like, what, like four weeks, so.

[B]

And they won't. Nothing will pop off when you do that.

[A]

Nothing. I've never had a gel X pop off before.

[B]

And are gel X comfortable when you do them, or is it kind of like, you know, you have a nail on?

[A]

Like, it's like, you know, you have a nail.

[B]

Got it. Like, it's not like a.

[A]

And it's only because I do medium. If I did short, it would probably be a little more comfortable, but I like a little length.

[B]

Yeah. And I think the link is really pretty.

[A]

It is cute.

[B]

I want you to do one sec to here. Oh, I want three. Intro.

[A]

Listen, I'm a baddie But I ain't that bad.

[B]

I ain't that bad.

[A]

I see the baddies out there and listen, listen. I appreciate what y'all do, and we.

[B]

Live for you, but I can't do it. But I can't.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

Can't be you.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

I love that. My pit. It was actually really funny. I got shredded yesterday by the window washer guy.

[A]

That's so good for you.

[B]

It was so funny because I literally like some guy, he's, like, knocking on my door, knocking my door. And I'm only. Like, I never even answered the door. I'm gonna be real. Like, I never really answered when anyone's knocking, But I looked down from my thing, and he was kind of fine.

[A]

Oh, here we go.

[B]

I'm gonna go ahead and answer and see what this guy wants.

[A]

Your famous last words.

[B]

So then I open the doors. He has, of course, barking going off, and I'm like, oh, excuse my guard dog. I close it and I'm looking at him, I'm like, yes, can I help you? And it was like this, literally like this, like six, two, hot.

[A]

Oh, here we go.

[B]

Six two hot guy. And I was like, do you need anything for me? And he's like, so I'm just going down the neighborhood. I'm a power washer. And I noticed that your windows are like, really bad. And I was really like, they are. So then I literally go, are you sure? I'm like, what? So then I go kind of around. I was kind of like, in my mind I'm thinking, they're actually not that bad at all. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. Like, they're not that bad whatsoever. Not enough for like a full power washing, like, craziness. And he's like, I can give you like a great deal. 450 for the windows. And I was kind of like, I'll let you know. I'll let you know.

[A]

You hit him with the owl, you.

[B]

Know, give me your card. I will let you know. So then he gave me a little card. I put it back and I posted my stories. And I was like, oh. Like, it was like 450. And everyone's like, that's a great deal.

[A]

I know. I. What did I DM you?

[B]

You're like, do it.

[A]

I was like, manny, I would have done it. 450 for the whole house. Absolutely. You got this card?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You need to send me a picture of it. He needs to come do my windows.

[B]

I didn't. I didn't know that that was like.

[A]

That'S a good deal. Now I'm kind of like, connie, he was hooking you up.

[B]

Maybe I should hit him up.

[A]

He really was.

[B]

The thing is, again, like, my mirrors or my windows were not that bad.

[A]

Yeah. Until they clean them. And then you go, oh, imagine.

[B]

I can't even see. It's like literally pitch black. I'm like, they're not that bad.

[A]

Windows get like this transparent fogginess on it. And you don't know until they're clean. And then you're like, but hey, you say 450.

[B]

So I say, I saved my coin. But I'm kind of now kind of like, maybe I should. But what I'm thinking too, I was like, what if it's like there's ash on them and I can't even tell? Like, and that has like that foggy film. Cuz like, I have windows that I can't reach. Obviously there's windows that I'm like, girl, I can't get there. I'll never be able to get there. But they're not that bad because it just rained.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So right now they're kind of, like, not bad. So I didn't want to do it, but I thought this whole time that 450 was like, damn, that seems like a lot of money for, like, just, like, to wash the windows. It's not.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

Apparently everyone's like, girl, it's a deal.

[A]

Take it. It was a steal. It was a steal. Steal was a.

[B]

Guys, I didn't know it was a skill. I'm devastating.

[A]

Missed opportune.

[B]

I have the card at the house, though.

[A]

That's good. I want the card.

[B]

Yeah, you're like, good.

[A]

He's gonna send it. I'm like, you son of a Lord, no.

[B]

So, yeah, I feel like I might have to hit up for that.

[A]

Yeah, you might have to hit him up.

[B]

But I'm like, the thing is, like, my dad can power wash. Like, he knows how to do those.

[A]

Okay, call Mr. Gutierrez.

[B]

Please.

[A]

He's gonna say, get the out of here.

[B]

I've been doing a lot of at home. O, yeah, maybe I'll just buy Power washer.

[A]

Hell no. Joey Fu. He's notorious with the power washer.

[B]

Me in my mind, I'm like, I.

[A]

Can power wash. You're like, no, thanks, I'll do it myself.

[B]

Yeah, no, I'm good. I get power, so I blow my face off. I power wash my. It's literally just like, no skin.

[A]

I'm like, oh, I'm dead.

[B]

I just don't think that's gonna be good for me. So I won't.

[A]

But never.

[B]

Yeah, no, I'm gonna have to do it.

[A]

Well, my peak is. Could be controversial, perhaps. I watched Mr. Beast Beast Games on Amazon Prime.

[B]

You're intrigued.

[A]

And I didn't click it. I was working on stuff and Ty just put it on the tv and then it was like a second in and me and him were glued to the TV. We were glued. It's so good.

[B]

God, Mr. Beast got you.

[A]

I know. He got me. He got me, you guys. If you haven't watched it, it's like, it's really well done. It's like the way they filmed it and, like, leave you on a cliffhanger every time. It's crazy. I've never seen a TV show which they are breaking records for, like, giving away the most amount of money ever on a TV show. So it's shocking amount of money. So the people are like, Crying and going extra crazy for it. But it's so many people and they're eliminating. It's kind of like a mixture of squid games, but they just don't kill the people, I don't think.

[B]

I mean, you don't know. I heard the environment was. You never know. I heard the environment.

[A]

They will be checked at the door.

[B]

But no, no, I really like. The thing is, like, before I. I've seen a few Mr. Beast YouTube videos and they're really well produced. Like, he has like great production. Like, obviously he doesn't get hella views for no reason, but with that Amazon backing. Oh, you know, it's fierce. And the thing is like, we are squid games girlies down. And we do like a little reality competition show. So it makes sense for us to like it. So. But I'm like, I'm kind of intrigued to play the first episode, but I want to give him a view. I'm like this, I'm like that. But I'm really actually quite intrigued.

[A]

It's really good. It's really well done. And good for them for giving all these people money.

[B]

A hundred percent. You know, I would. Then they too, like someone can just be rotten to the court, to be quite honest. But all these people are helping people.

[A]

Some of these people said they live in their car. These people are single moms, like fighting for some money on there. I'm like, good, good for them. At least giving people money. I can support that.

[B]

Yeah. 100. And it's like giving people the chance to have better lives.

[A]

Yes. Constantly. Kind of. Also, like there's a big jackpot. But you know, like, if you want to bail out now, you can win. Yeah, like, it's stuff like that. So people are winning money throughout every episode and it's really cool because that's going to change their life immensely. Like people are winning six digits. Like, it's crazy, really.

[B]

And it's like going from like literally nothing.

[A]

It was so funny in one episode, this guy. So basically you're in a line and it's like line of like probably 60 people. Like just rows, but there's tons of the rows. Right. And basically they put a huge number of money up on the board and if one person, one person, that whole entire row clicks their button, they get to take the money and the whole row gets eliminated. Right. So this guy, the whole entire time he's like keeping his row together. I mean, he is like the leader. He's like, no, we got this. And at the end he's like this. Yes, it's crazy. It is crazy.

[B]

It's like giving Survivor.

[A]

It's like a mixture of squid games and Survivor. It's very interesting. And they did a really good job with it.

[B]

Wow. Or it's literally. You kind of have to, like, scheme and concoct, like.

[A]

Oh, a lot of that.

[B]

A lot of that actually feeds into my pit, my peak, because I literally just started watching Traders the new season, and I'm so hooked. I literally feel like it might be, like, the best season so far. I'm only. There's only five episodes. Six. One on Thursday, and I'm like, tuned the fuck in. And it's so funny because there's obviously people that played Survivor on this show, and it's so fascinating to me because it's like you have your gamers, right? You have the people that did, like, the challenge. You had Survivor at Big Brother, but then you have your people that are like Real Housewives, like Drag Race, like.

[A]

People that feels like a trader. Schemers do better than gamers.

[B]

One million, right? Like, gamers, the gamers tend to do better in general at.

[A]

Yeah, Schemers are the ones that, like, really make it to the top on.

[B]

Yeah, but they're usually gamers. That's the thing is, like, they've actually schemed their way to win things. So, like, for example, like, let's say someone like an icon in Survivor who's literally one, two times. Who apparently names like something with Bob from Boston or something.

[A]

Yes, Boston Bob.

[B]

He's in it. Yeah, Boston Bob. He's in it.

[A]

These are the really iconic times. You're right. Boston.

[B]

Boston Rob. And there's another guy that won, like, three times.

[A]

That's.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Tony.

[B]

Tony.

[A]

It's Tony.

[B]

That's it. That's Tony.

[A]

I'm a Survivor junkie.

[B]

Yeah. I was like. So, you know, so they're in the show. So they're.

[A]

Tony was a cop.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I love Tony. I love watching all his seasons.

[B]

So I love it. But the thing is, like, then you see, like, the people, like, let's say you see, like, the housewives aren't as, like, scheme.

[A]

They're aloof.

[B]

They're more aloof. They are like, for the show, like, you know, it's kind of like, for the show, they're not like, necessarily as, like, game centric kind of knowing exactly what's going on. They're kind of being like, okay, well, what. What are we doing here, you guys? Like, what the Is the vibe? Like, who are we voting for? So it's Fun. Like, the traders in general is like, the show. It's on Peacock, and it's basically like the mole. Like, we're trying to find these people that are killing everyone off by, like, kind of taking away or, like, kind of like from the money or whatever. The. And the traitors will kill off the faithfuls, and the faithfuls try to figure out who the traitor is in the group. Everyone's just lying.

[A]

Everybody acts like they're a faithful.

[B]

Everyone acts like it's like they're.

[A]

Do you want to know how crazy Tony is?

[B]

Who? Oh, Tony.

[A]

So on Survivor, there's a. It's called, like, the water hole or, like, the water where you can go get your fresh water and then you bowl it and drink it. It's like in the woods, so you have to walk to it and, like, get a bucket of water or whatever. And so what happens is a lot of people are like, I'm gonna go get water. But they use as an opportunity to chat. So it's not like, oh, we're walking away and gonna chat. Those. Like, we're gonna walk away and get water. So it looks like you're doing something.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So Tony, there was a tree by the water thing. This crazy man.

[B]

No.

[A]

Would climb up the tree and sit in it all day, hidden at the top of a tree, and listen to every single thing everybody said. So he knew every move that was going on. He's insane. Every night, people would go to sleep. He would stay up all night going through people's stuff, going to other camp. Like, he was a whole nother level, and that's why he won so many times.

[B]

I live.

[A]

He's really good.

[B]

He's, like, clever, smart.

[A]

He's very smart. Very smart.

[B]

So, Boston Rob, what. What's the story?

[A]

It's, like, the same. It's like the same. Like, he would. He would go above and beyond and scheme and play the game.

[B]

Like, oh, yeah, Scheming boots.

[A]

Oh, he was the scheming schemer ever. And so is Tony. They're schemers, y'all.

[B]

You were gonna gag when you watch. You can have so much fun. I would recommend. And I also just watched. Started watching Severance, which is another really, really popular show that everyone talks about. And Lauren Tyler were like, you have to watch it. And I was like, okay, cool. So I watched two episodes. I'm living kind of confused, but living with the show. It's so good. Another great aspect of a show that's just, like, so fascinating. So for me, my peaks are, like, kind of Starting these new shows I've been like, wanting to watch, get into. Honestly, it was like such a long ass weekend that I was like, girl, I need a break.

[A]

Oh, I know. That's right.

[B]

I took like the whole Sunday for myself. It didn't work, didn't film, didn't edit, didn't do anything. I literally just took it to like actually rest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The Lord's day.

[A]

The Lord.

[B]

I used it, honey. I used it.

[A]

Is that everything?

[B]

I think so. I think that's both peaks and bits.

[A]

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[C]

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[B]

All right, who's ready to get into.

[A]

Oh, you go first.

[B]

You're like. You're like. Is that everything? The episode's over.

[A]

Okay, guys, we'll see you next time. They're like, we don't care.

[B]

Okay. Okay, so I have. I have one. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm not gonna say anyone's names. It'll be anonymous. So this person goes, quote, I'm in a situationship with a co worker. I know, but how do you get over a situationship? Because you're technically not in a relationship with them, but you're in a situation.

[A]

You never officially dated.

[B]

Yes. And it's a co worker when a.

[A]

Situationship, it's kind of like you guys were talking.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Hooking up, little light things like that. But it was never official.

[B]

So how do you get over a situationship? I feel like for me getting over a situationship, like you kind of have to like essentially like X them out completely.

[A]

But when you work with someone it's hard. That is where you made the first mistake.

[B]

Honestly, that was actually mistake number one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You should have even done it from the jump.

[A]

Unless you're planning on quitting that job.

[B]

Yeah, you know, I see them often. It's like why even that's why it's.

[A]

Hard for you to get over it properly because you have to constantly be around them and see them. Haven't you watched the Holiday with Jasper?

[B]

Baby, honey, you have to quit the job.

[A]

So till as old as time quit the job, you have to kill him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Well, I feel like one of those things where it's like in a situationship you, what you need to do. Like honestly it sounds like funny and. But it's like the best way to get over someone to get under someone else. Like you have to kind of like seek out other people and like, you know, kind of putting yourself out there in a way where it's like you're able. It's easier to get over someone when you're talking to someone else. Yeah.

[A]

And get interest in someone else.

[B]

Like once you lose that interest for that person, that situationship, it's usually a lot easier to do that when you have someone to talk to. Girl, download the dating apps. Like do something to like kind of.

[A]

Distract yourself to not date someone involved in work or career based. Because if it does go south, you don't get to. Yeah. You don't get to get away from that. You don't get to block and move on. You know what I mean? And oftentimes things do go south in relationships, I feel like.

[B]

So yeah, honestly the problem was in the first place was getting into it. But advice wise, I would say download apps, try to start talking to someone else. The only way you're gonna actually really be able to do that is if you start distracting yourself with other things. So try to distract yourself and you know, distance yourself and disassociate. Yeah, situationship.

[A]

I think I have the flattest butt ever and have always been insecure. How to be confident. No, you did not just run. I know you did not just say.

[B]

I get it you guys, I get it now.

[A]

He does he got a bbl? So tell him. Tell him.

[B]

I get it. No. Okay. You guys. So working on confidence. Flat as ass. Well.

[A]

I Love it.

[B]

It's tough.

[A]

1 1. I just feel like owning it. It's, like, so powerful, though. Seriously.

[B]

Same.

[A]

I don't like my nose. And when I'm like, I want a nose job, people are always like, why is it the big hump in your nose? I'm like, no, it's just kind of how it protrudes out of my face like a beak. Really? That's what bothers me. Not really the hump. The hump is fine. It's really the protrusion of the nose. But thank you. But it's like owning it and just being like. Like, listen, I know I have a bird beak on my face, and I don't give a fuck what you think about it. I don't like it either. No. Okay, listen. I think you gotta learn to love it.

[B]

I do. Seriously. Unless you're gonna do something to change it.

[A]

Yeah. You have to learn to love it. You can't be miserable. So also, there are ways to dress yourself that maybe will make you feel more confident and more flattering on a flatter back end. You know what I mean?

[B]

It's like a one with patting in the back.

[A]

Child, do not pat. Manny's about to have you out in the street. Mad drag queen. Cha.

[B]

The Boston Booty.

[A]

The drag race.

[B]

Boston Boot.

[A]

I think she better have them hips. She ran out of the wheel. Now don't do it.

[B]

Don't do it.

[A]

Don't do it.

[B]

In reality, I agree with you. I think that's something you have to learn to love or it's something you have to change. For example, like, let's say if you have a flat ass, you're like, okay, cool. I'm gonna start working out more. I'm gonna start doing legs. I'm gonna start doing, like, yes. These things where you're trying to grow your booty. And there's a lot of ways where you can actually grow it with working out and actually, like, lifting and doing things and squats. And there's ways you can grow it.

[A]

I just, like, also like finding outfits that flatter the booty. Like, literally, you know, find the right outfit.

[B]

What if it's so flat as, like, goes like, in, like. You don't want to do a tight.

[A]

Dress, then don't do a tight dress. Don't do a tight dress. Do a dress that has a flow. Do a dress that has a ruffle. Anything that's not going to sit too tight on your back in, like. And. And. And this is like. Honestly, at the end of the day, every human on this earth, except for Kim Kardashian. I'm just kidding. But every human on this earth has, like, one thing at least that they're just, like, really don't like about themselves, but it's, like, makes them feel less confident. Right. Like, each of us probably have, like, one thing on our body, whether it's a mall, a freckle hair, titties, our feet, our toes, our ass. Like, society eats us alive. Okay? The thing. At the end of the day, if you don't find that confidence, once you get the ass thing checked out, it's going to be the next thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At the end of the day, you've got to find a level of confidence in yourself, regardless of the size of your ass. And I think flat asses are beautiful. I do. I think they're great.

[B]

So, yeah, she doesn't. She doesn't have a flat ass. By the way she's saying that, like, I think they're great. She doesn't have one.

[A]

I have a surprising frog ass. That's awful.

[B]

That's horrible.

[A]

That's horrible. I have a surprising ass for my body. No, it's like, there's no hips. It's all in the back.

[B]

It is. You have a dong.

[A]

I know. One time I love a small ass.

[B]

She's throwing it back. She's literally in the club throwing it.

[A]

Back at her shit in my dumb truck. One time, I was twerking at Bad Bunny, throwing it back, and Gabriel was like, you have a really big ass for your body. He was like, you have a big ass. I was like, what? She's this girl. Listening is, like, blocked. Deleted. Fuck both of them. And they're fat asses.

[B]

Oh, my God. My favorite line of the episode was, I think flat asses are a beautiful thing. It just sounds so funny to me. I think they're beautiful things.

[A]

They are great.

[B]

It really is about just finding the confidence in yourself to.

[A]

You know, at high school guys, all these guys, they would, like, clown me in the best way because I was, like, the jokester of jokes. So they knew. They knew. And they would all walk down the hallway going, laura Lee got a dog. Larlee got a dog. Oh, absolutely. Larley, get a dog.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

See, that's great.

[A]

I loved it. Pretty sure my ass was flat back then, too, so I think it was like a running joke, honestly.

[B]

You just have to work out, like, let's be real. Like you just need to, if you want to just get some squats going, get some protein in you, eat some oats, honey, and just learn to love the flatness, girl.

[A]

Seriously, we all got, we gotta learn to love.

[B]

Because honestly, you can't be miserable.

[A]

That's it. That's it.

[B]

I have insecurities where I'm like, it's annoying as. But you like, you can only do so much.

[A]

You know, you're gonna be on your deathbed one day wishing you would love that flat ass.

[B]

I know. Because listen, as you get older, it gets flatter.

[A]

Oh, oh.

[B]

So you gotta learn to love what you have at the moment. You really do. Okay, next one. I feel like my friend is self sabotaging her life, but she won't listen to me. Is there any advice on this?

[A]

Did you write that about me?

[B]

So, and it goes self submitted. I'm like, oh, by manning away.

[A]

Oh, Manny, I can see you wrote that.

[B]

Manny, I can see your name. Yeah. Self sabotage on your life and won't listen to me. Is there any advice on that? So the thing is that this is like tough. It's like a tough situation because you cannot force someone to get help. Right? Like at the end of the day, you cannot. You can bring a horse of water, but you can't make a drink. You can't do that. So at the end of the day, sometimes it's easier as a friend to slightly detach a little bit, to be like, you know what, if you're not gonna listen to advice, you're not to self sabotage yourself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because truly it's something where it's like, if it's causing you so much strife as the friend that's trying to give advice, trying to be there for the friend, but the friend won't listen, won't do anything about it. You got to let them swim or sink on their own at times.

[A]

Some people have to learn through experience. Some people just have to like go through it and self sabotage and live with all their mistakes before they can learn.

[B]

And the thing is, like, as a friend, you can still be their friend. Absolutely. But you don't need to have them in your most immediate, immediate bestie circle. You know what I mean? You can have them as a friend, but if they're crashing out, they're doing all these things, they're like being crazy, acting a fool. It's okay to, you know, reassess maybe where the friendships at. And then maybe once they've gone over some type of self sabotaging they're going through. We can kind of reinvite back into our inner circle, but you know what I mean? It's just, it's just tough. It's a tough situation. But at the end of the day, you have to let people do what they have to do. And if they're going to crash out, they're going to crash out. And hopefully you're still there at the very end of it. But it's okay to be like, you know what? I can't even be dragged into your messiness, into your tomfoolery.

[A]

I agree with that. Okay, let's see here. I just started hot yoga. How do I get better at hot yoga and stay consistent with my routine? I think in general, any routine, you've got to set yourself up for success with anything new you want to try, whether it's a workout, a hobby, whatever it is. That includes hot yoga. One, that shit's hard. But the, the less you do it, the harder it gets. And the more you do it, the easier it gets. So it's something you do want to be really consistent because your body gets used to the heat.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And so it becomes easy to be in heat. But I think like anything, you've got to set yourself up for success. So you might want to read the book Atomic Habits. It'll help. But I think too like, in set yourself up for success, like, hold yourself to a standard, whether you're gonna go one or two times a week, you know what I mean? And like make that happen. And once that's happened for a few months, you can bump up from there. Also, something I always say is, like, it, like, should you wear your gym clothes throughout the day? Like, if that's a possibility for you to wear your leggings and sports bra throughout the day because you're already dressed, so chances are likely you're more likely to go or have your clothes packed in your car and ready to go. So you really, you know, the harder you make it on yourself to get there, the less likely you are to go. 100 and that's, that's. So my point is, like, make it easy on yourself. Have your mat and towels rolled up. That's. This is what I do too. So I'm even speaking specifically to hot yoga. But like, I'll. Midday, I have the luxury of, but I'll go ahead and put on my yoga set. And so that way if I don't want to go, I already put on the outfit, I'm not undressing and then not going like that's. Too much effort. I'm just gonna go. So it's like doing little things to help yourself along the way, but it's also an identification thing. So whatever workout or hobby, if you don't identify yourself with, I am a human being who's healthy and works out, you're eventually gonna quit. So you have to identify. It has become an identity for you. So it has to get down into your core. Like, this is a part of my life now. This isn't just a new thing that I'm picking up for right now. No, this is who I am. I'm a yogi, I work out. I'm a healthy queen, and that's why I'm showing up. So it's also an identity. And that will help you stay consistent because you identify with it a hundred percent.

[B]

Also, like, if you have a planner writing things down in your planner, I like, live by my calendar on my phone. So that's something. Like, I stay more consistent because I'm like, oh. Like I have a schedule almost in a way where it's like scheduling things helps me when I'm writing it down. So it's like I'll forget a lot of times, like, where I'm like, oh, shit, I had this one thing, but I didn't schedule it. So I didn't write it down. So I completely forgot about it. It's just like something that could help in general. If you're like, writing things down, you remember things a lot easier and retain a lot better when you're actually writing things down. So try writing things off. You're like, oh, I want to schedule this workout in for this class. I'm going to put it for Thursday on my calendar. It's a plan. It's. Chances are higher that you'll go through with it if it's like written down, planned out, and you've made space for it in your. In your life. Thank you so much to hers for sponsoring this portion of full coverage. You guys, let's face it, weight loss can feel so freaking overwhelming and so intense. And that's why hers is changing the game. By providing access to GLP1 medications +expert care, they make your goals a lot more achievable.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Okay, this one's funny. It kind of cracked me up and I was like, yeah, how do I pose better in photos? I get frustrated on how I look and my husband wants to improve.

[A]

You know, let me, let me. May's like, bitch, this was mine. She's like, let me take out. Yeah.

[B]

What do you think, Laura?

[A]

Listen, I know because there are a couple ways to do this. 1. Pose and take pictures when you're not ready and dressed just so you can get some poses that look good down, right? Like have a jeans and a T shirt on. Just like. Can you come take some pictures of me real quick just so you can, you know, ahead of the time know what poses are gonna work for you? I got like three that I go to, honey, and they just work and I will be striking one of them. Okay. The other thing I advise is whoever's taking your picture, ask them to not sit here and go click. Okay, do another pose. Click. You know what I asked them to do? Let that roll. Click, click, click, click, click, click. Like take a thousand pictures and I promise you you're gonna get one out of a thousand.

[B]

That looks sickening.

[A]

Yep. They gotta go while taking pictures and you just gotta move.

[B]

Moving honestly move is like big on like the posing. Like if you're just kind of like being active and like you know, moving around, it'll look like a more lifelike and more realistic. Also another great practice tip too is like, like let's say someone's not taking photos for you and you're just going to practice. So set your phone up, put it on self camera mode and you'll be able to see like oh, like what you can see yourself in the camera and then a photo is taken so you can be like, okay, this is like dangle. I like the most of myself. Try practicing it that way too where it's like okay, this is the post. I just like I just did it myself. So next time someone's taking a photo of you, you can do that exact same pose because you know that you did it yourself and you liked it. So try doing it on self timer for yourself facing you so you can see exactly what you're gonna look like and what poses were great.

[A]

I used to have Ty whenever I was like trying to figure out what looked good on me, I used to make him literally hold the phone front facing like this and then just tap the button as I go so I can see myself. The quality is not as good the front camera, but after I got a few good ones, I'd be like, okay. And then he would flip the camera backwards and then we would get my shots.

[B]

You can see? Yeah, it's easier when you can see yourself. What angles you actually genuinely like, like so practicing that tip. I think that's a fantastic tip of doing like front facing camera for a little bit to see what the poses you like, what kind of thing you want to do.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And then go into back facing.

[A]

Also you should go on Pinterest and look up poses because honey, these bloggery girls, they spend hours trying to teach y'all how to pose. Now go on. Yes, you can go on Pinterest posing tutorials. Oh. Literally, these girlies, they will show you all, like, five different poses, and I'll be stealing all of them.

[B]

You're like this.

[A]

That's what. They're there for me on the red carpet, literally. You better. You better trust. You better trust.

[B]

I can see. I can envision it so clearly.

[A]

How to forgive after a cheating scandal that came to light five years after. So imagine you're in a relationship for a long time and then. But they cheated five years ago. And it just came out.

[B]

My reaction would literally be like, you. That literally would be me.

[A]

Dude, that's horrible.

[B]

Honestly, that's actually really tough because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what time it was.

[A]

It doesn't.

[B]

The trust is broken.

[A]

It is. That sucks. And you know what? You're finding out today, so it's okay to treat it as if it just happened.

[B]

I think that I could not be more. And it's a. Yeah, you might have. Like, let's. I don't. Who knows the situation, like, what it. Actually.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And how. Like, the depths of it. And like, you know what? They thought I was cheating. Like, let's say they were just chatting with someone.

[A]

It's like, oh, emotional cheating.

[B]

Emotional cheating. And that was five years ago. I really don't know that. I feel like that's really, really hard. And I think everyone's a little bit different with those situations. But I would. I would feel like it just had happened. It would hit. Feel like a gut in the punch. That's how I would feel. Because it's like, well, where. Where were we at five years ago?

[A]

You know? And so it's like, maybe you feel like, wow, he hasn't cheated in five years. Clearly, that's over. Wish I stay with him. You know, you would feel like. You would feel like that weighing on you. Like, they did it once five years ago, and you've been with this fool for five more years, honey. You know you don't have to forgive him. Right?

[B]

Right. And you also can't drop his ass right then and there.

[A]

You can literally drop it.

[B]

Especially because it's like, who knows if he would do it again at the end of the day. Yeah. You find out five years later that happened. But what if it happened again?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What if it happens another five?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's like something where it's like, are you going to be complacent and okay with the cheating?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or are you not, like, at the end of the day you have to like, figure out what you really want. Is it something where it's like, well, it happened five years ago, like, I'm still happy, so it is what it is. Or is it something where it's like, like, no, you broke my trust, I'm over it.

[A]

And this is because you definitely don't have to forgive.

[B]

No, absolutely not. Absolutely the not. And honestly, I'll be livid, let me tell you that. Okay, this one's funny because I was like, you kind of remind me of you, Laura. This one goes, should I elope with my fiance and tell no one until it's done?

[A]

Well, that's what I did.

[B]

That's why I said it. I was like, oh my, this is so funny. I think that it really just depends on like the relationship if you want to do it. Yeah.

[A]

The crazy thing about it all is, is if you think about it, which I haven't met anyone that's outright told me I regret so much not having a big wedding. I have not met a person yet who's ever told me that. A lot of people share their stories of elopement or courthouse weddings with me because they know that that's what I did. The beautiful thing about eloping is there's like a little safety net in there because you could do like a five year wedding anniversary and have a wedding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ten year valor. What? You can still have a wedding. It's very normalized in our society to do like the vowel renewal. The way look at me, I never got wedding pictures because I got married at a courthouse and it was just like us in a courthouse. It wasn't like little wedding pictures, you know, And I wanted them. So we went on vacation and I went and got them. So like there things have changed so much now that there's almost like this safety net there of like, you can still have a wedding if you regret it later on. But if you do, do want to not go in six digits debts for one quick day?

[B]

Absolutely. Elope. I think honestly at the end of the day you can elope and still like invite like your parents. Like, it doesn't have to be like, let's say just you two and like you eloped and do whatever. If you want, mind you, this is. If you want, if you want to bring some people along with you, you absolutely can. But at the end of the day, it really is about you and your partner.

[A]

That's what you guys want to do.

[B]

That's the whole point of, like, getting married is like starting your own life with someone like y'all together. And you know, everyone, of course, is in your life and you have your loved ones and your family, but that's about you and your partner. So at the end of the day, that's what's really important, is like, if you and your partner want to elope, then elope. And just like Laura said, you can bring things on way later in life. Like, if you want to. It's like if you want to get wedding photos, if you guys want to have a ceremony, if you want to do all these things, if you want to have a vowel renewal, you can do that later on. But if you're in the mood to be like, baby, we're just going to love. It's going to be us. It's going to be our fantasy, then absolutely do that. Do it. If you're even asking me, I think you know the exact answer to it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. I'm miserable at my job. I have been applying for new ones for six months with no luck. What do I do? You might not be applying for the right jobs. What's your resume look like?

[B]

I need a.

[A]

You got any typos in there?

[B]

It's a long time.

[A]

They're hiring a lot now, too. Like, jobs are a little more easier to come by now that we're like, out of all a lot of the mess with COVID You know what I mean? Like, it's kind of like leveled out a bit. Here's the thing. One, be patient. Your time is coming. Whenever you're looking for things, you'll eventually find them. And that's just the truth and the whole truth. Second thing is, let's review the. Review your resume.

[B]

Yeah. You know, what if there's like a mistakes on your thing on your behalf too.

[A]

What if it's not well done? What if your sources are. That you have references calling in aren't giving.

[B]

You hate them? Imagine. Imagine your references are literally like, no.

[A]

But I mean, it is things to think about.

[B]

Yeah. And it's absolutely possible.

[A]

Did you used to lie on your resume? I would lie. I found myself in a lot of jobs that I should not have been had. I'd be like, oh, God, I don't know what I'm doing here.

[B]

I'd be lying on the resume.

[A]

I know how to use it. Check bilingual.

[B]

I literally don't know. And I'm literally like, I know Spanish, baby.

[A]

For my reference, I would always put my Aunt Dee Dee. And it would be my mom's best friend.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And ciao.

[B]

I would put church people in there. I'd be like, you better trust they call you. Just know that I did. I was an amazing employee.

[A]

You need to juice up that resume and you may be applying for the wrong jobs.

[B]

Also, you could also be not a great interviewer.

[A]

She hasn't got an interview. I don't think applying for new ones for six months, but just hasn't got any luck.

[B]

Gotcha. Gotcha.

[A]

This doesn't mean up. Keep trying. This doesn't mean stop trying.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

This does not mean it's time maybe.

[B]

Just to reassess a little bit.

[A]

It's a real.

[B]

Let's say if you do make it to interview with. It's okay. Cool. So why don't you do some like mock interviews? Like, you know, kind of seeing like what you could be honestly looking for. Even YouTube videos are like how to do good interview questions or like there's a lot of things how to build.

[A]

Out a good resume. Also, you might want to apply for some jobs of something you haven't thought about doing before. You know what I mean? As long as it's like the pay is similar or something that you are good for. Maybe try some, put your neck out there. You know, try. Because apparently maybe the area that you're applying in is struggling a bit. Can be full. Also patience. You know, six months isn't bad. Six months isn't bad.

[B]

It's not bad.

[A]

It could be a little worse. So be patient with it. But also constantly rejuice. Okay, let me look at my resume. See I can spruce this up. Yeah, let me look at the job. Call these hoes. That's what Aaron does when she needs a job. Hey, I submitted my application online. Are you guys hiring? Or she'll go in. She don't play no game.

[B]

Follow ups are so important when it comes to like getting a job.

[A]

Walk in the building, let them see you. It makes such a big difference.

[B]

Be personable with it. I really think that makes a massive difference. Like I have many times I've applied jobs and honestly I've almost gotten them every single time where I've called and be like, hey, like, I just was following up. So nice to meet you. Just wanted to kind of see where it was at with application.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And literally nine times out of 10, I got the job.

[A]

You better hit the streets.

[B]

Maybe hit the streets, seen, be heard and just if they know that you won and you're hungry for it tends are a lot higher, you would get the position.

[A]

I feel like whenever you put that little extra foot forward, the universe or God, whoever you believe in out there, they throw you gifts.

[B]

It does.

[A]

I'm telling you, like, a gift will come. And also, you should ask friends and family members, hey, do you know if anyone's hiring? Is your job hiring? Is anyone, you know, like, start.

[B]

Use your web. Yep. Use your web, Use your network, Use your web. Like, just trying to find resources of people that could potentially be hiring or, you know, resources, like, just, like, at the end of the day, if you're putting out that energy, like Laura was saying, if you put out the energy of, like, I want a job, I'm gonna get this a job, Jobs, like, I swear, will somehow, like, start to appear, start to form. Like, you have to really, really be about it, though. You have to be all focused in home on just that. Again, like I was saying, looking up potential, like, mock interviews, reassessing the resume, like, doing everything that you can where, like, the job is going to be a success and you're going to get that position. So that is our advice on that. Oh. Oh, my God. That's so funny. I feel like we already answered this one. It was the how to stay motivated with working out, but we already kind of did that. Okay, this one's interesting.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

How to know if you're ready to date. Still working on myself, but I miss dating. Can I have both?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I literally was like, absolutely. You can at the end of the day, too. Like, there's different versions of you, right? There's like, you're single you, and then there's like, you're dating you. And there's, like, different versions of that that could be. And, you know, you could be really, really grown as a person, as an individual, and be really like, like, I'm ready, I'm mature. But in a relationship, you can be like, like, I wasn't ready for this, and be, like, honestly kind of spooked in different aspects of it. So I think that you can have both and be working on yourself constantly, but also, like, putting your foot out there, a little bit of dating.

[A]

You know what's interesting about dating? Like, you have to eventually meet someone to, like, you have to meet someone. You know what I mean? But the thing is, it's like, when you meet someone, nothing is true.

[B]

Correct. You know what I mean?

[A]

That, like, who on earth is gonna go on a day and be like, I'm actually clinically depressed, and you. You know what I mean? You know Or. Or I have so much anxiety I don't function. Or I'm really dirty and I don't. Like, no one's gonna come in with the start. Lead with that. Right. You lead with the butterflies and rainbows and politeness and learning and meeting each other and, like, learning the basic tidbits. And then you don't. You waste so much time because you don't. I mean, you wish you could just, like, go in. I'm speaking to someone who doesn't date and hasn't dated for, like, 17 years. But it's like, you wish you could just be. Like, figure out more quicker about people. So you could go ahead and be like, oh, nope, you're not gonna work for me.

[B]

I know. I know.

[A]

Yep. You're crazy. You know what I mean? Because you don't find that stuff out. You have to date to get there. But you don't find that out by dating. You find that out by date.

[B]

Tell someone. Get, like, talking to really talking. Really.

[A]

And getting in there.

[B]

Or, like, kind of seeing flags ahead of time, too. Yeah, there'll be little things. Like, I've stopped dating guys, but it's.

[A]

Crazy, because a flag could be so wrong. You know what I mean? Like, okay, this person did this, and that's a huge flag to me, so I'm gonna go ahead and say no. I would say that's super reasonable response.

[B]

Right.

[A]

However, it's like, what if that person is like. Would be super great for you if, like, you guys live together? You got to know on a deeper level, it could be your. You know, so it's all very. It's complicated.

[B]

It is. Honestly, dating is a very complicated thing. It's a very, very tough. I've, you know, been on dates where I was like. Like, for example. Like, I've been on dates where a guy was, like, rude to the waiter, and I was like, this is not gonna work.

[A]

That would have to be.

[B]

That's a red flag for me. That's like, I'm okay with.

[A]

Yeah. Something I don't want to learn more.

[B]

Like, I don't. I was like, I don't really need to learn more.

[A]

I don't want to find out. You're great later.

[B]

No, totally. And it's like, what if. And honestly, he was a cool guy and that was our third date, but just seeing how nasty was to the waiter and just rude he was. I was like, like. Because this could be a reflection of what could happen to me in the future, too.

[A]

Do you know what I have a problem with too. Not that I date, but I do meet a lot of people on network and go to dinners with other people. This may be too much. So I'm admitting. So y'all go lightly on me. But if a person is just too much. Like, if they're like, you don't have this for my drink. And they're not being rude. They just have, like, a lot. They're very needy or like, yes, I'm hot. Can we move tables? Or I don't like this seating. Like, if it's always something. I really don't with people like that. And it's not even them being rude. It's just like the dramatic. Shut up and sit down. We're at a restaurant. Get the piece of fruit when you get home. You know what I mean? Like, all the dramatics. Like, I'm not like that. My friends aren't like that. My family's not like that. Everybody's just so happy to be there. I don't know. For me, it's like. Goes beyond being rude to someone 100.

[B]

No, because there's different levels, by the way. But there's, like. There's levels to these things.

[A]

That would be a red flag for me.

[B]

It's a red flag. So you're kind of like, well, you're acting a fool. You're acting a mess. Like, this is weird. And the thing is, like, for me, maybe it's also like, in my culture and just how I grew up, it was like, you don't act a fool in public.

[A]

See, that's how we grew up.

[B]

Like that. I just. I just. That's how it was. I was like, you save that. When you're at home, you act right. You're polite, you're sickening in person, and that's just what it's going to be like.

[A]

For instance, I've been to dinner several times with different people who have done this. They. They request something, they want something, whether it's a side, a seasoning, a fruit, whatever. It's been different stuff. And if the restauran doesn't have it, they pitch a fit. That really gets on my nerves really bad, and it pisses me off. I'm like, shut up.

[B]

That's more of, like, a character flaw as a person. That's not even, like, an issue with the, like the, like. Oh, like a little red flag. Like, no, it's like a character flaw. That's like.

[A]

If you're that kind, that's a problem for me.

[B]

If that's how you are as a person, that's a whole different level.

[A]

And it sounds little and light, but it's really annoying what you're experiencing inside of light. It's not exactly.

[B]

When you're sitting there in the moment and you're awkward as fuck.

[A]

I'm like, baby, the waiter just takes orders. He doesn't run the kitchen. He cannot go to the grocery store and get you what you want. You came to a restaurant. If you can't handle it, go home.

[B]

Maybe order from home or make it yourself. I can't. I'm like imagining like me ordering like a ginger beer. I'm like, he can get some ginger beer. And they're like, oh, we don't have.

[A]

Ginger beer, but we have ginger ale. And you're kind of like, what? And you're like, y'all don't have anything? Like, see, I can't. Girl, what do you think is going to happen? Do you think it's going to appear? Honey, in la we'd be dealing with these things. And it bothers me too.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. I'm the exact same.

[A]

I'm like, go to your house.

[B]

Go make it.

[A]

Go get.

[B]

And this is your timeout.

[A]

I'm sorry I trail, but it's a true.

[B]

I completely agree with you. It really is. It really is an issue. And it's like, for example, that is a fight. And like, if someone that I was seeing acted like that and wasn't necessarily even rude, but they were just over the top dramatics for no reason. Yep, that's a problem for me.

[A]

That's a problem for me.

[B]

So it's like there's gonna be things that, you know, feel like, like, are gonna be, you know, these deal breakers for you. And that's okay to have, but within reason, like, you know, because people can be fantastic. And it's like, I'm not gonna. I know. I remember there's one situation where I was like seeing someone and I really liked him. I thought things were going great and I saw him, got drunk and he was like kind of acting a fool. And usually I'd be like, red flag. Like, I would be like instinctively red flagging that and be like, oh, I don't like that he's like acting up, like in this way. And like, this is not something like I'm cool with, but I liked him. So I kind of reassessed and I was like, you know what? He was having fun with his friends. He was, you know, living the fantasy. He was. And it was in the mood and nothing even had really happened. He was just acting really messy. And usually I'd be like, no. But I feel like as I've grown, as I mature just as a person. And even with dating, I'm like, I'm not gonna write that off completely because at the end of the day, he was just having fun with his friends and like, yeah, it might be like a lot for me because I don't get drunk, but that doesn't mean I need to write them off as like a complete red flag. So.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Talking.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

So it's like, it's something like you can you adjust as you move and be like, what you're cool with and what you're not cool with? And at the end of the day, you're always growing as a person. So it's like you can be about yourself but have a lot inviting people in as well, because you'll, you'll grow a lot and experience a lot when you're dating people. Like, honestly, when you're dating and you're kind of figuring out that the dating world, you mature a lot in different ways and you kind of figure out what you like, what you don't like, and aspects of your life. So I think that's great. I think you could actually do both at the exact same time. Try dating a little bit, but still focus on yourself. Thank you to SHEMD for sponsoring this portion of full coverage. You guys. GMD is on a mission to change the world of women's health by educating one woman at a time with the knowledge and expertise to be their own health advocate.

[A]

CMD is a virtual community of female physicians who discover, discuss, and delve into the adventures of women in medicine. SHMD offers health insights to empower women, helping them stay informed and proactive about their well being at every stage of life. For too long, women's health has been lived in the shadows and women have been dismissed no longer. SHIMD boldly addresses topics not always covered in traditional media, such as fertility struggles, menopause, painful periods, women with addiction, and so much more. By subscribing, listeners join a community where women stand together healthier and stronger through shared knowledge and support.

[B]

I love that SHIMD really, you know, motivates and encourages listeners to really stay informed and be proactive about their health. And I think it's absolutely incredible and I think it's really great for the community overall as a whole. So check out GMD wherever you get your podcast today.

[A]

How do I tell my husband I owe $10,000 on just one credit card? I also have other Credit cards.

[B]

Tyler just screamed.

[A]

He's laughing. Tyler is laughing at your credit card dad. Okay, Ty said do not tell him. What you do is you slowly siphon money out of his bank account and you pay down your credit cards. Let me tell you something about credit cards. It's not the credit card debts the problem. It's your spending habits. It's the problem.

[B]

Oh, and I know that one hurts.

[A]

No, that ain't free money they're letting you borrow, baby. You paying for every penny of it.

[B]

Because honestly, it's really more. So like, you need to assess your spending.

[A]

You got it. Because let me tell you, you pay them off, you're gonna have them filled right back up if you don't assess that spending first and honestly at the.

[B]

Time that you are gonna have to, like, tell them.

[A]

Unless you can come up with a 10, dad.

[B]

Yeah. Unless you can do without it. Hell yeah. Like, more power to you. But if it's something you have to kind of get through, $10,000 is a crazy amount of money.

[A]

I think you should tell them about all the credit cards.

[B]

Honestly. Me too.

[A]

Because what's 10,000? Yeah, because then you're gonna be like, okay, I have 10. That's credit card. And then there's five more. You might as well just say, listen, I got a spending problem. I up. I blew all the credit cards, and I got a lot of them blown out.

[B]

They're blown the out. I think that's something you do have to talk to with your partner, but.

[A]

You also have to be willing and ready to assess your spending problem. Because unless I. Which I'm assuming based off what you wrote, that this was not buying. Just livable necessity. Trustees. It. It seems like the. The credit cards, you know, kind of racked up.

[B]

Maybe credit karma was activated.

[A]

Activated. The house.

[B]

It was activated.

[A]

Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Credit cards are the devil. They are. They're great to build your credit if you use them responsibly, but if you don't, they're. They're the devil. And they are never ending cesspool that you can have a really. And they can damage your credit way more than they can help your credit if they're used and abused. It's just true. And let me tell you, this is the thing to really think about. And people, listen up. The more people in this world, the harder it's gonna be to get things. Because think about this. If more people in the world than ever have a 800 credit score, what's going to happen if yours is at 500 you can. They're gonna give less and less and less to people with bad credit scores and even less to people because think about more people in the world, more credit scores, it's going to get harder. Exactly. So you know, that is something about credit. Your credit score is, you know, kind of like a lifeline.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's actually kind of crazy in the way America works. It is, I'm speaking on America's behalf.

[B]

That it's very much like you kind of have to. Your credit score is like another aspect of you in a weird.

[A]

Your livelihoods, how you get your spending.

[B]

Yeah. And when it comes to like let's say house, houses, cars, anything, apartments, like so many things, they need your credit score for a lot of these things to be like, are you someone that can pay money back? That's the thing. So it's really more so about responsibility and accountability. Are you someone that's a kind of why credit's even a thing. Are you someone that will pay back the loan that you have? If you have a high credit score, it's like, oh, clearly you are someone that is responsible with money. You can pay it back. If you're not responsible with money and you have a low ass credit score, then it's like, who the fuck would ever trust you with the loan?

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

So you have to be responsible. And again, like this, this, this credit card of ten thousand dollar debt, it is something that you have to like start paying off quite fiercely. And if you can't, then you should tell your husband.

[A]

I think your first thing though going into telling your husband is being willing to address the spending problem. Like having a plan. Like, hey, I clearly have a spending problem. Like if when you go into a situation or a problem admitting you're wrong instead of being like, well, you know, you don't give me this, you know, it's excuses and all that. It makes people want to be more mad and more. You know, when you're defenseful, don't be defenseful. There's nothing to defend here. I have a spending problem. I spent too much money and now I'm trapped and I got to work on my spending problem and I need help. You can't be mad at that.

[B]

Honestly, it's the most honest thing you can do.

[A]

It is be honest.

[B]

Just be honest about it and be like, hey, this is where we're at. I'm so sorry and I'm devastated that this happened, but I have a problem.

[A]

I think budgeting is so good too, so important. It's so important.

[B]

There's a lot of, like, tools and resources nowadays in the 21st century that like. Like, can help you so much more with budgeting. And there's apps. I can tell you. Like, maybe you're spending money on this. You don't need to. Like, there's literally apps for that stuff now. Like, you can.

[A]

Even our credit card device. Like, you spend this much on entertainment, you spend this much at restaurants. You spent the. You know, so it will help you navigate where your spending's going wrong. But it's not worth the debt. None of the junk or purge. It's not worth the debt. It's not.

[B]

And the stress of debt, like, the day.

[A]

So stressful.

[B]

Like, and so everybody have to file for bankruptcy and then, like, completely kill your credit for, like, what, how many years? Like, insane amounts of time. So it's like, you know, come up with a plan.

[A]

10,000 isn't the end of the world either. You know what I mean? It's not good, but it's. It's not like a hundred. She's like, girl. It's like.

[B]

She's like the other credit card.

[A]

She was like, there's 10 kids. Got to check yourself at the door first. Because, listen, the credit card is the problem, but is it the problem? No, it's the spending that's a problem. So address the real problem first, and then that way, whenever you pay this off, you don't go wrecking right back up again.

[B]

Exact problem.

[A]

Often times, that's what happen. If you're listening, and that's your habit. Seriously, be honest with yourself. I'm not here to call you out. I don't care. That's your life. But I'm just saying address the problem.

[B]

First from where it is.

[A]

It's like putting a band aid over a broken arm, baby. You got to fix the broken arm.

[B]

Get the damn arm. Get the bone in.

[A]

Get the bone in.

[B]

Ty goes, that's my last one. I don't have anymore.

[A]

I have severe interview anxiety and panic attacks. Oh, we kind of did that one last time. But the person has severe anxiety for interviews. For interviews again.

[B]

Okay. The practicing. Yeah, I think this is the epitome of that is going. Because I had severe anxiety about doing interviews. I was like, how am I gonna get my best foot forward? Like, I was so scared. And so what I did is I would, like, research and search. Like, for example, trying to get hired a Mac, for example. I had a lot of interview anxiety because I was like, I'm scared. Like, I want to be able to move from Sephora to Mac. I want to, like, start my artist journey. And I was super spooked, super scared. So I looked up questions that they would ask you in a Mac interview. I would watch those things. I would, you know, be aware of what things that they could potentially ask. And then I. And I did mock interviews, and I had someone literally interview me, ask me these questions. So when I had this practice, like, kind of down, not over practice, where it's like, everything's rehearsed, but practice enough where I'm not gonna have, like, literally, like, the jitters or I'm feeling, like, shaky. It's all about practicing and making yourself feel confident in that moment. And what's gonna make you feel confident is practice and research and knowing. Like, when you know something, baby, when.

[A]

You know what you're talking about.

[B]

I'm not scared.

[A]

Imagine going into Teller's Amazon interview. He had to do math problems. He do math problems while they sit there and watch.

[B]

I would freak out.

[A]

Okay, here's another great thing. Aaron just interviewed for a new job. She moved back to la. And she. She. She wasn't nervous. She was like, I feel good. I said, here's the thing, here's the thing. Go into the interview like, you already got the job. Go into this interview like you're 10 times over qualified, and they'd be blessed with your presence. And you will exude, like, I'm here, I'm ready. You're gonna exude it. Also, here's another thing to think about. The worst case scenario in that interview is that you don't get a job. Right? I think that's probably the worst thing that could happen.

[B]

You're gonna be okay, and you're gonna get another job.

[A]

So knowing that the worst thing that could possibly happen to you and you'll still be okay, that should dissolve a little bit of your anxiety and give you some peace of mind and give you some peace. But also, I agree, like, like, the more you're prepared. Also, the thing about interviews is I feel like we build this up in our head and then we get there and it's like, it's not a big deal because they're asking you questions about yourself, and what do you know more than anything in the world? You know yourself.

[B]

Yes, absolutely. And that's why it's like, if you have a mock interview or you figure out what they're going to ask ahead of time, because you can, you guys, you can find kind of anything on everything. You can figure out a lot of questions. You can literally do like let's say you're going to get interviewed for to be a flight attendant and you're like, what are like, like classic five tenant questions that they're going to ask you an interview.

[A]

You need to know all resources, you need to be knowing all.

[B]

You need everything. But you have sources to find those information, that information so you can actually be prepared and know what you're doing. And honestly, what someone that interviews loves to see is someone that's prepared.

[A]

Also. Energy. As human beings, we feed off energy. So for instance, I'm in a really, really, really bad mood. But I'm still coming in and acting polite. People will still feel my energy. I'm the happiest person in the world. But something bad is going on. I mean people, they feel energy. So I always say, listen to your most favorite hyped up songs on the way to the interview and do not think about the interview. Going to the interview. Say yes. Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[A]

What if they ask this?

[B]

Yes, I live.

[A]

What if they ask this? I'm scared. Yes. It's just yes. The answer is never no. Just block it all out with the word yes. I know it sounds stupid and it feels stupid, but it works. Your brain, yeah, you're trying to trick your brain, your brain this side to still. And it's going to put your energy, your mind and your aura in a better space. When you go in that interview, whether they like what you said or not, they felt your energy. I have had so many people come up to me and say, you have really good energy. I'm telling you, human beings, have you ever met someone and they didn't do anything to you and you say their energy was off girl, they had a weird vibe, you know, there was something. Exactly. Energy. So that's why that part to me is so important. Because doing those things, blasting your favorite songs, singing them as loud, as loud as you can, saying yes, yes, yes, high frequency, that is really going to lift your energy. It's going to lift your frequency and the interviewer is going to feel it. Whether they want to feel it or not, they're going to feel it. So those are just some tips. And by the way, you can do it.

[B]

Yeah, you can do it. The thing is too, you can trick your brain. The brain is a fickle thing and you can trick it. You can be like, I'm sickening, I'm confident. You tell yourself something enough, the brain will think that that is what it is. So like literally you just constantly doing these repeating things. It's going to help your brain be like, oh, my God. That's actually the truth.

[A]

Anxiety, like creeps and slowly and you get like that weight in your chest and heart and then you feel like you can't breathe.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Start saying yes. Literally start going, yes, I'm fine.

[B]

I'm not anxious. I'm fine.

[A]

Say it out loud if you have to. Yes, yes, yes. Shut it down. It really does. It shuts it down and it tricks your brain because what you're doing is you're realigning, you're refocusing, focusing, and you're fusing to let your brain, even though it's fighting you and it's trying to get back in that place of anxiety. Yes, yes. It doesn't even get it a chance to breathe. It's like taking the oxygen out of the fire.

[B]

Exactly, exactly. So you can, you can trick your brain into it in those situations. So when you're going into interview, the prepping, prepping beforehand, knowing where you're going to go and we're going to talk about things that they might ask you, and then on your way there, getting to the highest place that you can.

[A]

Highest place you can get. Think I need to be right now, the elite version. I need to be the happiest, highest frequency energy. What do I need to do that? Wear your favorite shoes, drink your favorite drink, listen to your favorite music. Anybody that pisses you the off, you can wait to text them. You can wait to tell anybody who does gives you bad advice. Please, can you just put them on hold for an hour or two after that? I'm sure you can. And then they can blow your day up after the interview, right? Right after anything that's going to get in your way. Because the most important thing is that interview and you're gonna nail it.

[B]

I completely agree.

[A]

And that is it for our advice segment.

[B]

Did you guys like it? I honestly, I think it's fun. I love doing, like, advice giving. And it also, like, I feel like it makes me even really realize more things about myself when I'm like, answering questions and I'm like, oh, that's something like I didn't really think about but saying it. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it makes me feel good giving advice and, you know, when we can.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. I love it. And it just reminds you that we're all human and we're all going through things. There were so many good questions, by the way. I wish we could go on for like four hours.

[B]

We're going for 10.

[A]

I know there's so many good ones. But just know everybody's gonna like anyone who seems like they have a perfect life. Just know factually they do not. And know that if you're going through something even no matter how niche and specific just know thousands of other people are going the same thing. Maybe the amount of repeats figure it out too. The amount of repeats we got. The number one was how do I make friends in my 30s?

[B]

Oh my God. That was one. That was a big one.

[A]

That was a big one.

[B]

And that you guys. That is tough. Like honestly making friends as you get older is tough.

[A]

That one's so tough because it takes a level. Well 1. We are removed from society as far as school and college. Once you're in your 30s. Your tip. Some people go to school at that age. But I'm just saying a lot of people that masses are removed from that environment. You don't have to really work for friends in that environment. They're kind of surrounding you. People. People are. You're connecting. Yeah. Situationally you're gonna have friends. But in adulthood I think it gets difficult because it takes work and getting uncomfortable.

[B]

100 and I think that advice on even on that really quickly is that if you put yourself in situations that you can make friends with that is what you're gonna do. For example going to the gym. A lot of times people have. If you're putting yourself in like minded situations of people that are doing that same thing chances are how you're probably gonna find them as friends.

[A]

People try to be my friend all the time at hot yoga. I personally don't want to hang out but I have have so many people in there that just wanted to pop by, say hello and be a friend. I promise you if I wanted. If I wanted more friendships or to nourish that you could in a heartbeat so easily.

[B]

And so girl a hobby.

[A]

The gym. A paint.

[B]

So something really important too like this. I got one that was like how do I make more queer friends? What you can do you guys is sign up. If you are queer out there sign up for like all gay leagues of something. Like it's saying all gay dodgeball league. Chances are high. Yeah. It's going to be kind of uncomfortable.

[A]

What if they live in Alabama?

[B]

Okay you know what? You're gonna have to go to the bar.

[A]

You're gonna have to. You're gonna do different things. Yep.

[B]

It's. It's a situational of course but at the end of the day like if you are putting yourself in some situations that Might be uncomfortable, yes, for sure. But you have to put yourself out there a little bit to get some back.

[A]

Nothing changes if nothing.

[B]

Exactly. And you can't expect things to come for free. Like, it's never gonna be like that. You can't just be like, how do I make more friends in my 30s?

[A]

No.

[B]

Are you putting yourself out there? Are you going to. Are you going to place places where you can make friends? Are you going to the gym? Are you. Are you making these connections? Are you doing hot yoga? Are you going to classes? Are you signing up for sports that you can. That you might have played?

[A]

Are you an active member of your community? And then also, you can ask yourself, I mean, come on, has there been that one friend that's asked to hang out a dozen times, and you just don't know if you'd make good friends, so you put them off or you just don't feel like it? So you're constantly putting off that one person, or they're just not your cup of tea, so you won't give them a chance. Be brave. And there's people out there, or maybe there's someone you do want to hang out with. You just don't have the guts to ask. I always say. I always, always say, the worst thing people can say is no, and you're gonna be all right and you'll live. One of my assistants, she had wrote me a long message because. Was like, hey, like, I want to do assistant work, and I just. I want to reach out to you, because she had worked with me in a different capacity, not an assistant work. And she was like, I just want you to know, like, I have this assistant experience, and I just want to put it out there and try. So if you need an assistant, I'm here. And when I talked to her in person, I said, you know the great thing? She was like, I was. I was scared to send you that, but I went ahead and did it, and I said, well, I'm really proud you did it. Because the great thing is, the worst thing I could have said to you is, I don't need an assistant right now. And then who loses? No.

[B]

No one.

[A]

No one.

[B]

And it took her, what, five seconds?

[A]

Yeah. So always send the message. Be brave, guys.

[B]

You have to put yourself there. I know it's tough, but, like, is how you do it. Like, you don't make friendships. You don't. Without work.

[A]

I'm so scared of feeling the failure or like. Or like, the rejection is the rejection.

[B]

Hell, yeah, I get that.

[A]

There's no human being on this earth that wants to feel rejection.

[B]

No one.

[A]

But it's weird because the more you feel it there, you do you. I don't think anyone ever comes immune to it, but you come. It makes you so much. Oh, yeah, honey.

[B]

They're dirt.

[A]

Iron walls. Okay. It makes you so much stronger. I'll say that. Toughen up.

[B]

Yeah. Put some situations where you can, and.

[A]

Maybe you won't get rejected.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or maybe you will. But guess what? You'll be just fine. Fine.

[B]

And also, like, you have co workers potentially out there, too. You can make friends with co workers. Going out with co workers. You with a co worker. You can meet other, like, friends of their co worker that you might really enjoy. There's a lot of different ways that you can actually do it, but you just have to actually put yourself out there first.

[A]

Yep. Get uncomfortable, baby. What life's all about.

[B]

It's tough, but you have.

[A]

If you've been comfortable for too long, I urge you to do something, anything, that shakes up a little bit. Even if you're happy, just shake up a little bit, and you'll be amazed at the doors that will open for you.

[B]

I cannot agree more.

[A]

What a great way to close our.

[B]

Thank you guys so much for watching. We love it. Thank you guys so much for submitting us advice questions. We love doing this and we'll definitely be doing it again.

[A]

Bye, guys.

[B]

We love you.

[A]

Bye.