Comic Ali Siddiq on fatherhood, prison, and his biggest regret

Summary

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Fresh Air: Comic Ali Siddiq on Fatherhood, Prison, and His Biggest Regret

Date: June 18, 2026
Host: Tonya Mosley
Guest: Ali Siddiq, Comedian and Storyteller

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Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and often humorous episode, comedian Ali Siddiq joins Tonya Mosley for a candid conversation about his latest stand-up special "My Father," fatherhood, the lasting impact of his time in prison, and the struggles and healing that come from confronting past regrets. With trademark wit, Siddiq shares raw stories from his upbringing and incarceration, his complex relationship with his father, and how comedy became both a tool for survival and a means of catharsis.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "My Father": Exploring a Complicated Bond

• [00:15–02:21] Siddiq's new special centers on his late father, their strained relationship, and Siddiq's efforts to reconcile with his past.
• Siddiq admires his father's charisma—a man always “on his note,” dressed in tailor-made suits—but laments his absence and questionable choices.
  • “Not a lot of men can say how they felt about their pops. I really wanted to look like this man…But he just wasn’t an ideal father.” (Ali Siddiq, 01:28)
• [02:51] Siddiq reveals his father watched every bit of his stand-up online, cherishing those lost 10–15 views now that his father is gone.

2. The Making of a Father—And the Lessons Learned

• [03:29–05:31] Siddiq credits his mother for his sense of responsibility but says being a “good man” comes from his dad—paradoxically, learning from his father's shortcomings.
  • “I didn’t want my kids to think that anything else was more important than them…My father made me at times feel unimportant to him.” (Ali Siddiq, 04:14)
• Details the formative pain of his father's absence and makes a commitment to be fully present for his own children.

3. Stories of Irresponsibility and Surreal Comedy

• [05:54–09:12] Recounts living with his father at age 10 and the “do as I say, not as I do” double standard.
• Shares the darkly comic and true story of his father using cocaine from a Cool Whip container to numb Siddiq’s wisdom tooth.
  • “He was so irresponsible. It’s crazy.” (Ali Siddiq, 08:42)

4. Comedy as Therapy

• [10:00–11:15] For Siddiq, telling stories about family on stage is both comic and healing:
  • “Me reliving [these stories] in front of people or revisiting them…it's a lot of healing that goes on with me with that.” (Ali Siddiq, 11:02)
• His “hey” opener—rooted in a disastrous Apollo Night debut—grounds him in humility and history.
  • “The attention that I didn’t get the first time I said hey is what people wait on now.” (Ali Siddiq, 13:29)

5. Prison, Regret, and Accountability

• [13:49–18:07] Siddiq describes his early descent into drug dealing at 14, his arrest at 19, and the heavy sense of debt he feels to the community.
  • “You can’t conceive the magnitude of destruction that you do when you sell drugs in a community…what did I do?” (Ali Siddiq, 16:55)
• Grapples with the emotional aftermath, including moments of public breakdown and questions of generational harm.

6. Generational Cycles: Father's Own Demons

• Siddiq’s father was both dealer and eventual user; the two never truly discussed this cycle.
  • “That was the lick that society took back.” (Ali Siddiq, 18:07)
• Discusses the rumor surrounding his father's death, possibly from overdose, and the unresolved pain it brings.

7. Life Inside Prison: Lasting Wounds

• [22:34–25:41] From his jailhouse special "From Inside," Siddiq relives his “spin number”—a numerical brand of incarceration:
  • “67, 93, 46. I can’t forget this number. It’s ingrained in my head like my Social Security number. It’s my slavery number.” (Ali Siddiq, 22:34)
• Explains how incarceration affects not just the individual, but the entire family left worrying daily about safety and survival.

8. Finding Humor Behind Bars

• [26:01–28:46] Siddiq started as a violent, angry prisoner, but wisdom from older inmates helped him survive by shifting to a sarcastic, comedic approach.
  • “If people was about to fight, I would always say something like, ‘Oh, y'all about to fight. Wow, that’s interesting. You do know somebody gonna lose this fight twice...One of y’all gonna win, and then the CO’s gonna...beat both of y’all.’” (Ali Siddiq, 28:09)
• Comedy became a tool for de-escalation and reflection.

9. The Path to Stand-Up: From Scratch

• [29:17–31:53] After prison, Siddiq had “zero information” about how to be a comic, starting literally from nothing.
• Shares crucial early-career advice: don’t quit your day job until comedy pays more than your current work.
  • “He said, ‘Don’t quit your job until your career start making more money consistently than your job.’” (Ali Siddiq, 30:53)
• Siddiq applied his “pharmaceutical sales rep” skills to selling suits and sunglasses until comedy became viable.

10. Parenthood: Intentional Softness

• [33:24–37:48] Siddiq marvels at his son Hassaan’s gentle, ‘bougie’ upbringing, contrasting it with his own.
  • “I am a better father than my father was. And I'm supposed to be.” (Ali Siddiq, 33:55)
• He purposely gives Hassaan a life of choices and safety, embracing the “soft life.”
  • “There’s a certain struggle that happens in softness as well…but yeah, I love how he’s living.” (Ali Siddiq, 36:32)
• Reflects on the generational progress represented by moments like taking his son to see Earth, Wind & Fire.

11. Staying (and Succeeding) at Home

• Siddiq doesn’t feel he missed out by not moving to LA or New York; his rootedness in Houston keeps him unique and connected.
  • “I think what makes me unique is being home.” (Ali Siddiq, 38:05)

12. Connection With Audiences Nationwide

• Siddiq feels at home in cities across the country but jokes, “I don’t think Corpus Christi gets me. That’s right down the street, Corpus Christi, Texas...They’re a fishing town. They’re like, is he talking about bass?” (Ali Siddiq, 39:11)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Learning Fatherhood:
  • “I just knew becoming a father, I would never be like that…My kids are gonna see me actively at their games or at their recitals…so they would never feel a type of way towards me like I felt for my father…” (Ali Siddiq, 04:14)
• On Regret and Accountability:
  • “I owe this world something…when I pay back society for the destruction.” (Ali Siddiq, 15:49)
• On Comedy as Healing:
  • “It’s a lot of healing that goes on with me with that.” (Ali Siddiq, 11:02)
• On Intergenerational Cycles:
  • “That was the lick that society took back.” (Ali Siddiq, 18:07)
• On Prison Trauma:
  • “You may have survived it, but you still have wounds. I’ve been out 29 years…My physical wounds start to fade. Why haven’t these wounds faded yet?” (Ali Siddiq, 23:32)
• On His Son’s Upbringing:
  • “I love the softness of his life…hopefully, he’s there, you know, taking me to go eat oysters and…asking me do I want to go to a Boney James concert…” (Ali Siddiq, 36:32)
• On Belonging:
  • “When I come somewhere, all of it feels like home. That’s who’s coming, and that’s who I have a connection with.” (Ali Siddiq, 39:11)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening & Special Preview: 00:15–02:21
• Discussing Parental Influence: 03:29–05:31
• Father's Contradictory Parenting: 05:54–09:12
• Comedy as Therapy: 10:00–13:49
• Drug Dealing and Regret: 13:49–18:07
• Generational Cycles & Father's Addiction: 18:07–20:27
• Prison Reflections & "Spin Number": 22:34–25:41
• Survival Tactics & Humor in Prison: 26:01–28:46
• Comedy Journey Post-Prison: 29:17–31:53
• Raising a Son Differently: 33:24–37:48
• On Being a Houston Comic: 38:05–39:56

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Conclusion

This episode of Fresh Air offers a compelling mix of humor, pain, honesty, and hope. Ali Siddiq’s journey from troubled youth and incarcerated drug dealer to acclaimed comedian and devoted father is told in unforgettable stories—by turns hilarious, cathartic, and heartbreaking. Siddiq’s openness about regret, accountability, and healing, both for himself and through his family, turns his comedy into a living memoir that resonates far beyond the punchline.

"My Father" premieres on YouTube June 21st.

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Transcript

[Capella University Announcer]

This message comes from Capella University. That spark you feel, that's your drive. For more. Capella University's Flexpath learning format lets you earn your degree at your pace without putting life on pause. Learn [e-mail].

[Tonya Mosley]

this is FRESH AIR. I'm Tonya Moseley, and my guest today is Ali Siddiq. He's a comedian, but that word undersells it. What he really does is tell stories, true ones from his own life. And he's told so many of them that while watching his specials, I realize Siddique is giving us a memoir delivered one set at a time. For instance, a few years back, he went viral with a story about surviving a prison riot. Siddiq served six years for cocaine trafficking, arrested four days after his 19th birthday. He started doing standup after he got out. And nearly 30 years later, he's got more than a dozen specials, most of them independent on YouTube with millions of views. In his 2022 series, Domino Effect, he traces his life growing up in Houston, starting at 10, the year he went to live with his father and first got into trouble all the way through the choices that landed him in prison. This month he has a new special called My Father. It's about everything that passed between Siddiq and his dad before his father died in 2018. It premieres on YouTube June 21st. Here's a clip.

[Ali Siddiq]

My dad had a thing about how he dressed. My dad always wore tailor made suits. This is when he was, when he was on his note, when he was on his note because he was a it's not a lot of men can say how they, how they felt about their pops. I really wanted to look like this man. He was tall, dark, jet black, had a lot of charisma by himself. But he just wasn't an ideal. Father. My dad asked me one time, I'm sitting at his house and my daddy said, man, why you don't never say nothing bad about your mama on stage.

[Tonya Mosley]

Ali Siddiq, welcome to FRESH air.

[Ali Siddiq]

Thank you for having me, man.

[Tonya Mosley]

Your timing is great. And I was thinking when I was watching this that there is really nothing like remembering something funny about somebody after they're gone. It's like the truest way, the most purest way to grieve them. But I was just wondering, watching this, if your dad felt some kind of way about being in your act, what do you think he'd say about you doing this entire special about him?

[Ali Siddiq]

He never actually felt any type of way about being in my act. He just wanted to Know when I was gonna say something negative about somebody else and not just him. I get a lot of views, but it's definitely 10 views, 15 views that I missed. Cause my dad would go to the library and he would look me up on the computer and watch all of my stuff. And he would call and tell me I just seen something else. I watched about 15, 10, 15 times. So I'm always missing those 10 or 15 views that I know that I would get from him.

[Tonya Mosley]

You say straight up, I'm a responsible man because of my mother, but I'm a good man because of my daddy. Explain that.

[Ali Siddiq]

My mom, she would think that it was her, but it's really him. Because for some time, I. I felt a certain type of way about him not being there or the things that I would see from other people's, you know, fathers or what I view from tv. I was judging him based upon that and what I thought. And I had certain feelings towards him. And I didn't want my kids to ever feel like that about me. I didn't want my kids to think that anything else was more important than them not being in the streets, not women, not. Not gambling, not hustling, not anything. I didn't want them to ever think that anything that I was doing was more important than them. And my father made me at times feel unimportant to him. You know, I played sports. He went to one game. Out of all the sports that I played, he went to one game. You know, he came to one basketball game. You know, I don't remember ever doing anything father and son with my dad. So that's another thing. I just knew becoming a father, I would never be like that. Like, my kids are gonna see me actively at their games or at their recitals or at their. Whatever they may be doing. I'm gonna actively be there. If, you know, if you need something, I want you to be able to call me. So I've always made myself available for that type of effort that I was making. I always made myself available for them so they would never feel a type of way towards me like I felt for my father for a couple of years or more than a couple of years.

[Tonya Mosley]

Your daddy, he left when you were three, but you'd see him every blue moon. But then around 10, he comes back into your life. You went to live with him, and it seems like he was very much, do as I say, not as I do. When. When did you first understand that contradiction?

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, man. Probably the first year I lived with him. Like, yo, my dad was. My dad was like. I say, I don't think he was ready. I don't think he was ready to have his son with him.

[Tonya Mosley]

But yet he asked for you to live with him?

[Ali Siddiq]

He asked, but I don't think he was ready. You know, people ask for a lot of things. They. Not ready. And then, like, not a human, though. I didn't think. I didn't think a human was a part of that. But he definitely. He definitely wasn't ready yet, you know? Cause he couldn't have been. Like, when I look back at it, I'm like, yo, bro, there's no way that you was ready for me to come live with you. Cause you hadn't calmed down yet. You know, just the story of him waking me up, saying that he was getting ready to go to San Antonio, and I'm 10, I gotta go to school tomorrow. I'm like, yo, bruh, like, what you think? What am I supposed to do? That you finna go to San Antonio? He's like, just do what you been doing. Get yourself up. Get ready to go to school. You know how to. Hey, bruh, that's not how this go, man. I've never been in a house by myself before.

[Tonya Mosley]

Like, what's wrong with you, Ali? I mean, is it true that, okay, you tell this story about him putting cocaine on a sore wisdom tooth, And I was wondering, is this true or is this just for laughs?

[Ali Siddiq]

100% true. 100% true. That's why I described it so vividly. See, that's the thing about when I tell a story. I want people to understand. I describe all the. Even little things so people understand that this is a true story. Cause you can't. It's hard to make up little things. You can make up big things, but little intricate details about something, like, you know who was there? James and Ivory. And James was the one that saw me sitting on the step. And he's like, what's up? Because my dad name is Lindbergh. And he. And he called me little bird, little bird, what's going on? And I. And I said, I told him about my tooth. And then my daddy called me over and said, let me see. And put that cocaine on my. On my tooth. I said this, man, I didn't even know that's what it was. I just know it was the stuff that was in the Cool Whip tub that was in the refrigerator.

[Tonya Mosley]

Wait, he kept the cocaine in a Cool Whip tub in the refrigerator?

[Ali Siddiq]

And. Yeah, the big Cool Whip thing. You know how Cool Whips come In that little container, that big container.

[Tonya Mosley]

Oh, yeah. And you reuse them.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. And he put it in. That's where the cocaine was at, inside the refrigerator. And then as I thought about that earlier, like, I told the story, and I never even realized how super irresponsible he was. I am 10. You don't think I like Cool Whip?

[Tonya Mosley]

The things that could have happened.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know the things that could have happened if I would have dipped. Cause he always had strawberries. My dad loves strawberries, right? So he always had strawberries in the house. And I was like, yo, what I thought about if I would have just took one of the strawberries and put it in that. In that Cool Whip bowl, thinking it was Cool Whip. Cause I still would have ate it, even though I would have thought the Cool Whip was bad. I'm like, oh, the Cool Whip Whip. This. It's fizzing out. And then I'm like, that's what it would have looked like to me. I said, he was so. So irresponsible. It's crazy.

[Tonya Mosley]

Okay. He dips a little cocaine on that sore wisdom tooth. What happened to you?

[Ali Siddiq]

Never had a problem with that wisdom tooth again?

[Tonya Mosley]

Never even needed to have it taken out, huh?

[Ali Siddiq]

Never. I probably still got that tooth in my mouth right now. Never had a problem. I don't even remember getting my wisdom tooth taken out ever. Luckily, I was. I never. I don't have an addictive personality. I can just stop doing stuff. Like, hopefully that was it. Cause my dad was insane. And I had told that story before. Before I ever. Before it ever aired on anything. And I remember he was at the show when I did it, and he was like, I can't believe you remember that.

[Tonya Mosley]

Do you feel like you're working out that relationship on stage? I mean, I think the obvious is yes, but, like, how are you working it out? What is it doing for you, aside from just making us laugh?

[Ali Siddiq]

I think that with the relationship with him or the relationship with my little sister or my things that I. That I had problems with as a young person, I don't hold on to things. I release them. The ups and downs of me and my. My dad are really molding of. Of me. And it's also healing for me to be able to say these stories. So I think that's the biggest part of it, that I take the stories, and me reliving them in front of people or revisiting them in front of people is a. I can't even say a bit. Healing. It's a lot healing. It's a lot of healing that goes on with me. With that.

[Tonya Mosley]

I want to ask you about something that you do on stage that is feels like maybe like a centering. You know, most comics when they go on stage, like everybody does it different, but most of them, like, kind of come out swinging. They like run or walk in or they like take in the applause. You sit in a chair, you wait for the crowd to die down. And then you always start with, hey, tell me what you're doing with that.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm paying homage to the first time I was ever on stage. First time. So I went to this comedy club. Just joking. Comedy Cafe is where I started at 1997, December 4th. It was the first time I was ever on stage. I walked on stage and I said, hey. And the whole entire crowd booed me. I didn't even say nothing but hey, no jokes, no nothing. And this is because I started at Apollo Night and they were instructed to boo the next person that was coming on stage. So I happened to be that next person. So I waited two weeks. I came back to just choking. Comedy Cafe after two weeks, brought me up, I did well, they brought me, I came. And then I started coming every week. And then by February, I started in December. By February, I was the co host of that Apollo Night. And I always start with, hey.

[Tonya Mosley]

Why do you think you need to be reminded of that particular night 30 years later?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, to understand that I had. I made the right decision when I first went up. I wasn't in the wrong for saying hey. It's a lot of things that keep me grounded in this business. I'm never too up and I'm never too down. I'm always even keel. And the attention that I didn't get the first time I said hey is what people wait on. Now when I say hey, the whole entire audience say hey back.

[Tonya Mosley]

Let's go back to young Ali Siddiq. Before the comedy. You are 14 years old, you start selling drugs, you like to joke on stage, you say, I was a pharmaceutical sales rep. By the time though, that the feds got you, you were 19. You were in college at Texas Southern University. And this is the ironic part. You were actually planning to stop selling drugs when you were caught. How close were you to quitting?

[Ali Siddiq]

I had stopped, actually. I was done. I was wrapped up. And I got a phone call to come help assist, you know, and I went out of me feeling obligated to, okay, you know, I hold you back. But I was, I was done. It had become like, man, what am I Doing, you know, because you started

[Tonya Mosley]

in the first place, because you. You wanted money. You wanted to. You wanted your own money.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. And I think I fight so hard now to explain that. It was a character flaw. It was like no manhood or responsibility in that. Because I could have just worked for money, you know, I could have just did something else. I could have. It's so many things that I could have done versus being so destructive to a community. And I remember being asked, ali, when do you think that you gonna blow up? And my honest answer was, when I pay back the. I gotta. I owe this world something.

[Tonya Mosley]

Because you sold drugs like you owe. You owe back because of that harm you did. That's interesting.

[Ali Siddiq]

When I pay back society for the. For the destruction. And I think that when you are a person that has really done things and you have really changed your life and you think back on these things, you can't help but to have a heavy heart. I remember I was in San Francisco. The homeless population is so crazy. And I'm at this Comedy Central festival. It's a comedy festival. And I'm walking from a hotel to the festival. And I'm there for days. And I keep trying to find different ways to get there not to run into homeless people. And I didn't walk five blocks down, ten blocks down, ten blocks this way. I. I walked every which way and couldn't. And I remember it was in the morning and I was on my way to prayer and I just stopped in the streets and I just started sobbing. And I remember saying, how much of this is my fault? Because I have been so destructive and reckless in my behavior. I just don't understand. Like, obviously this is not the first generation. This is the generation that was affected by the first generation of what I did. I. You can't conceive the magnitude of destruction that you do when you sell drugs in a community. You know, it's people doing things that they would probably never do in order. That's ruining relationships. What child didn't get fed because they mom or they father decided to do this? And what uncle or aunt stole something? Like, what did I do?

[Tonya Mosley]

Did you and your dad ever talk about this? Cause, you know, I mean, he sold drugs, and then you went on to sell drugs.

[Ali Siddiq]

We never talked about it because my dad ended up using drugs. That was the lick that society took back. I remember a story that I told about some young guys. I come on the block and they had told me they had robbed these old guys. And I looked at the stuff that they had and I made them put it in the bag because I recognized the stuff. And then I went and took my dad and his friend and stuff back and I said, man, what a man, what were you doing over there? And my dad blamed on his friend told me, man, I'm over there with him. He got me robbed. And my mom, I told my mom about it later and my mom said he was probably using drugs. And I said, no, he told me he wasn't using no drugs. And that's when she told me, well, I done put your daddy in rehab twice since we've been apart. And so I went back and told him, I said, hey, I thought you said you wouldn't use the drugs. And he said, who told you that? Your mama, man. Your mama, your mama violated my HIPAA rights. I said, this man is nut. So even when he's doing something crazy, he's still funny. He's so crazy. So the unfortunately, the room around where my dad is gone is is an overdose. And I don't believe that. I think that that's what people wanted to say, but I don't not believe it either.

[Tonya Mosley]

The rumor that he died because of an overdose.

[Lily Pad (Toy Story 5 character)]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. Cause he had a heart attack. And I know he hadn't been using. So if you hadn't been doing something and then you decide I'm going to do it one time, you know, you don't know what your heart can take on that. So my dad just had a heart attack out of nowhere.

[Tonya Mosley]

Our guest today is comedian Ali Siddiq. We'll be right back after a short break. I'm Tonya Mosley and this is FRESH air.

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[Ali Siddiq]

This is Eric Glass on this AMERICAN life. One thing we like is a good mystery sometimes about really big things, but most times the little mysteries are the best. Our lost and found is currently filled with pants.

[Lily Pad (Toy Story 5 character)]

I don't know.

[Ali Siddiq]

I've never seen this happen.

[Tonya Mosley]

This is true.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is true. Mysteries of every size. Each week, this American Life. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Tonya Mosley]

My guest today is comedian Ali Siddiq. His new stand up special, My Father, explores his relationship with his dad, who died in 2018. Siddiq has released more than a dozen specials on YouTube, including two filmed inside of jails. He himself was arrested at 19 for selling cocaine and served six years of a 15 year sentence. Part of his work includes talking with prisoners about accountability and the realities of recidivism. This past spring, he released Ali Siddiq from Inside Shot in a county jail in Charlotte, North Carolina, where he talks to inmates for almost two hours straight about the experiences of being locked up and its lasting psychological effects. Here he recalls his inmate number, which he calls a spin number.

[Ali Siddiq]

Ask the old heads that been here before. Ask them do they remember they were original spin number this. The that haunts me. I've been out for 25 years, almost 26 years. 67, 93, 46. I can't forget this number. It's ingrained in my head like my Social Security number. It's my slavery number. 67, 93, 46. Hmm.

[Tonya Mosley]

That's my guest Ali Siddiq and his YouTube special from inside, A conversation with inmates. And what goes on to happen after you rattle off your number? The guys start blurting out their numbers too. What does it signify that you can remember Your spin number 30 years after you were out of prison, that you

[Ali Siddiq]

did not get out of this situation unscathed? You may have survived it, but you still have wounds. I've been out 29 years. At this point, even if I'm at home by myself, I'mma lock the bedroom door. I still know this number. So it's still things that you may survive, but you don't get out unscathed. You're gonna lose some skin in this game. And I think that these psychological wounds are different than my physical wounds. My physical wounds start to fade. Why haven't these wounds faded yet?

[Tonya Mosley]

There was this powerful thing you said during that talk with those inmates that also is kind of sticking with me. You were saying, when you get locked up, your people get locked up too. And I wanted you to explain what you meant by that.

[Ali Siddiq]

My mom, even though she wasn't physically there, she's there in mind. Like it wasn't no days that my mother didn't think about me. When you're inside, your sister is concerned, your mother is concerned, your dad is concerned, your grandmother's concerned. It is all of these people that's concerned about you because you're in a position of danger. You're in a dangerous place. And there's no guarantee that you will make it out of this place. There's no, you can get a year. Doesn't mean that you're coming home. You can get two years. Does not mean that you're coming home. Nothing about this place says I'm going to survive.

[Tonya Mosley]

I want to know about. I think you call it your sarcastic nature because that. It's not like you started doing comedy in prison, but you did find that your humor could serve you well there. And I wonder what ways you used your sarcastic nature and comments when you were locked up.

[Ali Siddiq]

Because I was such a violent person from the beginning. The first two years I was insane. Like, I was literally a madman.

[Tonya Mosley]

Why? Cause were you like that out of prison before you got here?

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm in the streets. What happens in the streets, you know, And I'm still hurt from my sister. I'm very hard to harass. And things that I never revealed to people that four months later that my first son passed as well. So I never. I'm dealing with a lot of pain at this. At this time. And so my whole thing was to minister pain towards people who just was in my way. You just in my way, you know, And I'm inviting this type of behavior. Like, it's like, hey, bro, this is all. This is gonna be bad for you, you know. So then, you know, I got told, and it's always an older, wise person that comes to you and say that, that really care about you, you know, just letting you know how life goes or see something in you. Hey, man, you keep doing your time like this, somebody gonna kill you. And they gonna kill you because they scared of you. They don't know what you're gonna do, so they're gonna kill you. They gonna set you up. Whether it's a group or whether it's one person, they're gonna kill you. So might. You might wanna do your time a little different. And plus you better than this. Like. Like, you could really be a different type of person and you can get out of here, you know, you're not here forever, you know. But I'm doing my 15 years. Like, I'm doing 15 years. Like, I'm not thinking about parole, getting

[Tonya Mosley]

out early, the whole 15 years.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. So then I became this jovially sarcastic person. About everything. Like, anything that the person was gonna do that was gonna get them in trouble, I was gonna say something about. And I. I remember this dude was about to do something, and I said, I thought you said that you didn't steal that stuff. Like, that you. That you was innocent because you're doing really guilty behavior. I'd be so sarcastic. And I remember this is one of my classic sayings that I was like, I guess I'm the only one in here guilty because it seemed like everybody else is in this. Like, this is. This is a part of no accountability, man. Y' all don't have no accountability for nothing. And so if people was about to fight, I would just. I would always say something like, oh, y' all about to fight. Wow, that's interesting. You do know somebody gonna lose this fight twice. And they like, what are you talking about? I said, well, one of y' all gonna win, and then the CO's gonna come in here and beat both of y'.

[Lily Pad (Toy Story 5 character)]

All.

[Ali Siddiq]

Somebody gotta be willing to lose this fight twice. Like, y' all gotta. Y' all gotta make a decision. And I would say so much sarcastically jovial things that people, like, man, he always got something to say. Like, yes, I do.

[Tonya Mosley]

I read that, you know, as you're doing your time, that's when you started to think, when I get out of here, I could probably have my hand in comedy. And I was wondering, were there. Were there people that you were also, like, watching or studying or thinking about as you were thinking about what type of comic you want it to be?

[Ali Siddiq]

Not at all. When I. When I started doing stand up, I actually didn't even know how to even start. It's like, when I think about this journey, I literally started from a place of zero. Like, I had zero information on how to become a comic. Zero information on where to go, zero. Like, I was at scratch. And so when I think about, like, I. I'm not. I don't ever not feel successful because I'm like, yo, I did what I said I was gonna do when I got out. I was gonna become a comic. Not knowing how to do it.

[Tonya Mosley]

When you get out of prison, though, how do you make that leap to, like, truly making this a profession? What was your first stop?

[Ali Siddiq]

Just joking. Comedy Cafe, you know, just. I learned a lot there. And I remember when I first got my first payment, it was $35, and it was in, like, fives and ones, and I thought it was a lot of money. I was like, boy, I came up and.

[Tonya Mosley]

And the Comedy Cafe is in Houston. It's a place in Houston.

[Ali Siddiq]

It was, it was on Richmond. And then I went through this dilemma of people not saying that you are, you're not a real comic because you don't do it for a living. And I remember asking Bruce Bruce about it. I said, man, Bruce Bruce, he's a comedian, another comic. I asked Bruce Bruce, I say, hey, man, are you this is when he was the host of Comic View. And I asked him, hey, people say that you're not a real comic unless you doing it for full time for a living. And he said, man, let me give you some advice, brother. I work for Frito Lay, you know what I'm saying? Until my comedy started making more money for me consistently than my job. And once that happened, then I quit my job. He said, don't quit your job until your into your career start making more money consistently than your job. And I, I, and what were you doing?

[Tonya Mosley]

Like, what was your job?

[Ali Siddiq]

I was selling clothing. I was working in the men's apparel store, you know, in the mall. And I worked at Sunglass Hut. You know, I used to be a street pharmaceutical rep, then I went to being a sales rep. Ain't that so

[Tonya Mosley]

did it take the same amount of skill like the selling

[Ali Siddiq]

drugs to selling amount of skill, the same thing? Hey, I need to find somebody who addicted to suits and shades, you know what I'm saying? So to make my commission, if you're

[Tonya Mosley]

just joining us, my guest is comedian and storyteller Ali Siddiq. His new standup special is called My Father, and it's about his relationship with his dad. It premieres on YouTube June 21st. We'll be right back after a break. This is FRESH AIR.

[It's Been a Minute Podcast Host]

Every episode of It's Been a Minute. NPR's what's Happening in Culture podcast starts by asking three questions. Who? How? Why?

[Ali Siddiq]

Now?

[It's Been a Minute Podcast Host]

If the culture's asking it, we're talking about it at npr. We stand for your right to be curious and indulge your cultural curiosity. Follow It's BEEN a Minute. Wherever you get your podcasts and we'll break down the zeitgeist y topics that

[Here and Now Podcast Host]

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[Tonya Mosley]

I want to talk to you briefly about parenthood, about you being a father. You're telling me earlier that you just want to not make the same mistakes that your dad made with your children. And I mean, you joke about this a lot, but your kids are getting a very different father than you got, which I actually want to play a clip from your latest special where you talk about taking your son Hassan to a concert to the elements, Earth, Wind and fire when he's 11. Let's listen.

[Ali Siddiq]

I know that I am a better father than my father was. And I'm supposed to be. I'm supposed to be just by my son's first concert and my first concert with my father, my son Hassan, he's 11. His first concert was Earth, Wind and Fire. And he asked to go. He asked, go. My son came in to me and said, father, Because he's very upper crust. He said, I would like to attend a concert. I said, hassan, what concert would you like to attend? He said, I would like to go see the Elements. And I teared up. I teared up. My son wanna go see the Elements. And I said, wait, who are the Elements, Hassan? Is it some little white Internet group that you've been listening to? Hasan said, no, father. They're formerly known as Earth, Wind and Flower Fire. I immediately ran and got them tickets. I wanted to get them tickets for me and my son. Me and my son going to see Earth, Wind and fire. He is 11. He's 11 years old. We went to this first concert, me and him, we going. We get to the concert. Hassan is the youngest person in this whole entire concert. And I know that for facts because I am the second youngest person.

[Tonya Mosley]

That was my guest today in his latest special, My Father and Ali. That whole special, you marveling at your bougie kid. You know, you have built a soft life for him on purpose. But I wonder this because, I mean, as a parent who also grew up a certain way, do you ever look at your son and, and worry that the thing that made you, some of the positive things, you know, not all that, that, that challenging stuff you went through, but like, the positive stuff might also be the thing like you're keeping from him too?

[Ali Siddiq]

I. No, I don't. I think that the soft, the softness of his life now, I hope that he continues to desire that. And, you know, he goes through his own certain struggles you know, because it's a certain struggle that happens in softness as well. But, you know, whether he want oysters or crab, you know, it's dilemma for him. So he got the, you know, you know, choices, choices. But, yeah, he. I love how he's living. I love the way that he lives. I applaud him, and I just hope that, you know, he comes out on the other side and always is like this and loves being a kid and then gives his children the opportunity to be a kid and always have a softness. For me, I need somebody to roll me around when I get old. So hopefully he's there, you know, taking me to go eat oysters and, you know, asking me do I want to go to a Boney James concert or something, you know, just. I just. I just love him. I just love the softness of his life.

[Tonya Mosley]

All right, you are a Houston boy, born and bred. Do you feel like you might have ever missed out or lost out or it taken you longer than maybe it would have if you hadn't moved to a place like LA and New York? And, you know, you could have taken your kids with you?

[Ali Siddiq]

I don't think that that's a thing. I think that there's no opportunity that has been lost. You know, it's only all gained. And it's a certain protection of being in your home spaces. You know, my mom's from. I have, what, maybe 40 relatives in California. But who's to say I was gonna go to California and make something to myself? Cause multiple comics have done that as well and never, you know, arrived in their perspective. You know, same in New York, same in Atlanta. You know, I think that what makes me unique is being home.

[Tonya Mosley]

Oh, this has been such a pleasure, Ali, and thank you so much. And best wishes as you continue on your tour. Are there particular cities that you love the most? You know, you're here. Houston, boy. So are there other places throughout the country where it's like, oh, yeah, they get me. It feels like a homecoming.

[Ali Siddiq]

So many places. Chicago, D.C. baltimore, Detroit, New York, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Appaloos. It's too many places to even name. I'm so connected to the earth that when I'm. When I come somewhere, all of it feel like home. That's who's coming, and that's who I have a connection with. Now, what's crazy is I don't think that Corpus Christi gets me. That's right down the street, Corpus Christi, Texas. It's crazy. It's right down the street. I don't think Corpus really fool with me. They're a fishing town. They're like, is he talking about bass? Like

[Tonya Mosley]

Ali Siddiq, it has been such a pleasure to talk with you. Thank you so much for this special and your time.

[Ali Siddiq]

Pleasure is all mine. I thank you very, very much.

[Tonya Mosley]

Ali Siddiq's new special is called My Father. It premieres on YouTube June 21st. He's also currently on his international Custom Fit Stand up tour. Coming up, Film critic Justin Chang Reviews Toy Story 5, opening in theaters this week. This is FRESH AIR.

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[Tonya Mosley]

The fatal shooting of a teenager at a protest in Seattle has gone unsolved for six years.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is open in your face. How are there no answers?

[Tonya Mosley]

Our investigation has uncovered new evidence and witnesses who say they've never talked to police.

[Ali Siddiq]

Did police ever call you?

[Justin Chang]

Not once.

[Tonya Mosley]

Listen to We Keep Us Safe, a new true crime series on the embedded podcast from NPR. More than 30 years after the first Toy Story launched, the Pixar animation renaissance, Toy Story 5 is opening in theaters this week. In this latest adventure, Jessie the Cowgirl teams up with Buzz Lightyear and Woody to fend off the rise of digital devices, which are taking over the minds and attention spans of kids everywhere. The movie was directed by Andrew Stanton of Wall E and Finding Nemo fame, and features new voice work by Conan o', Brien, Greta Lee and Bad Bunny. Our film critic Justin Chang has this review.

[Justin Chang]

A lot has happened since the first Toy story in 1995, when a cowboy sheriff doll named Woody, voiced by Tom Hanks, worried that a Space Ranger action figure named Buzz Lightyear, voiced by Tim Allen, would replace him in the affections of their young owner, Andy. Every Toy Story since has touched on similar themes about the fickleness of kids, the inevitability of change, and the totemic power of the toys we grew up playing with. By the end of Toy Story 4, Woody himself had decided to move on. Along with his beloved Bo Peep, he set off into the wild and embraced the life of a lost toy, leaving Buzz and their friends in the care of their new owner, a sweet girl named Bonnie. As someone who was pretty mixed on Toy Story 4, I can't say I was looking forward to yet another sequel. Which just goes to show, you should always keep an open mind. Toy Story 5 is a significant improvement, and at its best, a delight. Things seem to be going well for Bonnie and her toys as the movie gets underway. But of course, it's only a matter of time before a new phase of childhood begins, bringing with it a fresh threat to the toy's idyllic existence. Bonnie's having trouble finding friends her age to play with, and that's because the other kids in her neighborhood are all glued to their screens. Nobody cares about toys anymore. It's all about digital tablets and other devices with their games, group chats, and virtual worlds. Sure enough, when her parents buy her a frog themed tablet named Lily Pad, Bonnie is immediately hooked. In this scene, Jessie the cowgirl Ragdoll, voiced as ever by Joan Cusack, confronts Lily Pad, who's sharply voiced by Greta Lee from past lives.

[Lily Pad (Toy Story 5 character)]

Hi.

[Justin Chang]

What the.

[Lily Pad (Toy Story 5 character)]

Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Sleep mode, you know. No, eh, forget it. Was just gonna hop on the charger. Battery could use a little refresh.

[Tonya Mosley]

I want to talk to you, device.

[Lily Pad (Toy Story 5 character)]

Please, call me Lily. Now look here.

[Tonya Mosley]

Me and the toys have been working all summer to try and get Bonnie to make friends with the joy across the street. But then you had to ruin it with all your stupid. You're not even listening to me.

[Lily Pad (Toy Story 5 character)]

No, no, I was listening. I'm always listening. See, now look here. Me and the toys have been working all summer to try to get Bonnie to make friends with the Jordan twins. Now in Spanish. Conos Jaime los Jordan.

[Tonya Mosley]

Alohro Lado della Galle.

[Lily Pad (Toy Story 5 character)]

Perelueze garo. Now, as a rap, me and the Tourist been working all summer trying to get Bonnie made friends.

[Ali Siddiq]

First dance, honey.

[Justin Chang]

This concerns me ethically. The movie was directed and co written by Andrew Stanton, who has mocked the perils of too much screen time before in his 2008 Pixar classic, Wall E. I suspect that Toy Story 5 will strike a chord with any parent who, like me, has ever yelled at their kids to get off the iPad and read a book. Ingeniously, the film takes one of the foundational ideas of the Toy Story. That inanimate objects can secretly think and move by themselves and uses it to tap into our paranoia about what our devices might be doing when we're not looking. Rest assured that this is still a Pixar movie, so there's a limit to just how dystopian things will get. Thankfully, Bonnie doesn't fall victim to an Internet stalker, though she does learn a valuable lesson about bullying and peer pressure. Lily, eager to boost Bonnie's social standing, connects her with some other girls online and even starts sending texts and images without Bonnie's knowledge. At one point, Lily, pretending to be Bonnie, arranges for all her old toys to be boxed up and stored in the garage. And so it's up to Jesse to save the day. With some help from Buzz and eventually Woody, happily cutting his retirement short, Bonnie's toys wind up at another kid's house in the area, where they meet a bunch of lower tech devices, none funnier than Smarty Pants, an electronic toy designed to help kids with toilet training. He's voiced by Conan o', Brien, gamely spouting more potty jokes than you could find in the past four Toy Story movies combined. It's here, though, that the story starts to go a little soft. After confronting the ways in which tech is taking over our lives, Toy Story 5 pulls back and suggests that devices and toys can coexist, and that devices themselves are no less susceptible to being neglected, forgotten and tossed aside for the fancy new models. Maybe it's in the nature of Pixar movies to reassure us, to delve deeper into feelings of grief and impermanence than studio animated films typically do, but then offer us consolation in return. Toy Story 5 may look boldly forward, but it also peers lovingly backward. One funny subplot features an army of digitally souped up Buzz Lightyear action figures, a callback to the sight gag in Toy Story 2 when Buzz encountered multiple versions of himself on a store shelf. And although much has been made of the new Taylor Swift tune on the soundtrack, the most memorable musical bit here is is a gentle refrain of Randy Newman's song When She Loved Me. Also from Toy Story 2, which told the heartbreaking story of Jesse's separation from Emily. Her original owner Stanton, beautifully revisits and deepens that story here, reminding us that loss is a part of life and that we are never truly forgotten by those we love.

[Tonya Mosley]

Justin Chang is a critic for the New Yorker. He reviewed Toy Story 5. Fresh Air's executive producer is Sam Brigger. Our technical director and engineer is Audrey Bentham. Our interviews and reviews are produced and edited by Phyllis Myers. Roberta Shorok Ann Marie Baldonado, Lauren Krenzel, Teresa Madden, Monique Nazareth, Thea Chaloner, Anna Bauman and Nico Gonzales Whistler. Our digital media producer is Molly CV Nesper. Susan Yakundi directed today's show with Terry Gross. I'm Tonya Moseley.

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[Ali Siddiq]

Tell Me, we asked comedy legend Robert Smigel about the moment he first knew he was funny. When I was like four or five, I could draw really well, so I could draw Fred Flintstone and Snoopy. And then probably a couple years later, I started drawing them having sex. Listen to the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me podcast in the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.