Fresh Air

Host: Terry Gross
Guest: Comedian Nikki Glaser
Episode Title: Comic Nikki Glaser On Roasts & Hurt Feelings
Release Date: January 3, 2025

1. Introduction to Nikki Glaser's Career and Achievements

In this episode, Terry Gross welcomes comedian Nikki Glaser, a prominent figure in the comedy scene known for her candid and often provocative humor. Glaser is currently hosting the upcoming Golden Globes and has garnered significant acclaim for her latest comedy special, Someday You'll Die, which has been nominated for a Golden Globe, a Grammy for Best Comedy Album, and a Critics' Choice TV Award for Best Comedy Special. Glaser's work delves deep into personal and societal issues, particularly focusing on sex, body image, mental health, and the dynamics of celebrity roasts.

2. Navigating the Fine Line in Comedy

Glaser discusses the inherent tension in her comedy between being hilariously perceptive and potentially crossing into tasteless or offensive territory.

• Exploring Boundaries:

  Nikki Glaser [02:44]: "I think that what I intend is just to say what's honest and what is funny to me... my real, only motivation... is to make people laugh, but also to just be honest."

Glaser emphasizes her commitment to honesty and humor, aiming to address topics that are often left unspoken, especially around sex and personal insecurities. This approach sometimes leads audiences to question whether a joke crosses the line from funny to offensive.

3. The Intersection of Sex, Body Image, and Comedy

A significant portion of Glaser's comedy revolves around her personal experiences and observations related to sex and body image.

• Personal Struggles with Sexuality:

  Glaser [04:21]: "Sex was always the scariest thing to me, was always the most interesting thing... I immediately... was attracted to those kind of unspeakable things that I was just wondering why more people don't talk about."

Her late introduction to sexual experiences fueled her desire to discuss and demystify these topics through comedy, providing a voice for others who share similar fears and uncertainties.

• Body Image Challenges: Glaser candidly shares her long-standing insecurities about her body, which have profoundly influenced her comedic material. She relates her discomfort and the societal pressures that come with navigating relationships and self-image.

4. Comedy as a Coping Mechanism for Mental Health

Glaser opens up about her battles with depression and suicidal thoughts, highlighting how comedy serves as both a refuge and a form of rebellion against these struggles.

• Using Standup for Healing:

  Glaser [11:09]: "The goal is just to mention the unmentionable... I kind of stumbled into comedy as a way to cope with all these feelings."

She explains that performing stand-up allows her to process her emotions and connect with audiences who may relate to her experiences, turning personal pain into shared laughter.

5. The Complex World of Celebrity Roasts

A central theme of the interview revolves around Glaser's involvement in celebrity roasts, where her sharp wit often walks a fine line between humor and personal offense.

• Performing at Roasts:

  Glaser [33:52]: "I mean, you're the best to ever play for too long... he hates fat."

Glaser recounts her experiences roasting high-profile individuals like Tom Brady, Rob Lowe, Alec Baldwin, and Bruce Willis. She reflects on the internal conflict of delivering jokes that can be both funny and hurtful, especially when the subjects are present.

• Emotional Toll of Roasting:

  Glaser [41:44]: "I went all in and pretty crazy right after. I have to do a cleanse after I write for a roast because my mind is in just such a bad place."

She admits that the process of writing and performing roasts can be emotionally draining, leading her to take measures to cleanse her mindset post-performance.

• Personal Impact and Regret: Glaser expresses remorse for past jokes that targeted others, recognizing the lasting hurt they may have caused. She discusses her efforts to mend relationships within the comedy community and her desire to evolve her roasting style to be less harmful.

6. Adjusting Her Approach to Sensitive Topics

Glaser addresses the challenges of making jokes about subjects she hasn't personally experienced, such as autism or sexual violence, and the backlash that can ensue.

• Navigating Offensive Content:

  Glaser [22:25]: "... I have a right to talk about rapes because I definitely am fearful of it... I do want to talk about these things because I have dated guys with autism."

She voices frustration with the prevailing notion that only those who have directly experienced certain conditions or traumas are permitted to joke about them, advocating for broader perspectives in comedy.

7. Reflections on Marriage and Motherhood

Beyond comedy, Glaser shares her evolving thoughts on marriage and having children, revealing a shift from her earlier hesitations to a more contemplative stance.

• Perspective on Marriage:

  Glaser [18:00]: "I do now, because I can get a divorce... my partner feels the same way. We're cool to divorce."

She discusses her initial resistance to traditional milestones like marriage and motherhood, ultimately recognizing the benefits of partnership without the constraints she once feared.

• Decision Against Motherhood:

  Glaser [19:11]: "I just don't think I'll be that good at it... I love naps too much... I don't want to feel guilty."

Glaser unequivocally states her choice to remain childfree, valuing personal freedom and acknowledging the challenges she perceives in parenthood.

8. Self-Image and Public Perception

A poignant segment of the interview delves into Glaser's struggles with self-esteem, particularly in the aftermath of harsh jokes made about her appearance during roasts.

• Impact of Appearance-Based Jokes:

  Glaser [40:17]: "...everyone is like, no, you're beautiful. And then Sybil just said I was ugly..."

Glaser recounts how derogatory jokes about her looks have led her to seek cosmetic procedures, underscoring the deep-seated insecurities that these public jests have exacerbated.

• Reclaiming Self-Worth:

  Glaser [43:04]: "...I better accept myself... but it's still a struggle."

Through conversations with Terry Gross, Glaser begins to reconcile her self-image, acknowledging her beauty and the importance of representing realistic appearances to her audience.

9. Conclusion and Final Reflections

As the interview wraps up, Glaser expresses gratitude for the conversation, highlighting her desire to grow both personally and professionally. She acknowledges the evolving nature of her comedy and her ongoing journey toward self-acceptance.

Glaser [45:35]: "Thank you. It means the world to me that you feel that way."

Key Takeaways

• Honesty in Comedy: Glaser prioritizes authenticity in her comedic material, striving to make audiences laugh while addressing unspoken truths.
• Emotional Resilience: Comedy serves as a therapeutic outlet for Glaser, helping her navigate personal struggles with sex, body image, and mental health.
• Complexity of Roasting: Engaging in celebrity roasts presents a dichotomy between humor and potential emotional harm, a balance Glaser is continually working to manage.
• Evolving Perspectives: Glaser’s views on marriage and motherhood have matured, reflecting a balance between personal desires and societal expectations.
• Self-Acceptance: The interview underscores Glaser's ongoing battle with self-esteem and her efforts to embrace her appearance beyond the criticisms faced in the public eye.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Comedy's Purpose:

  Glaser [02:52]: "I just want to make people laugh, but also to just be honest and kind of say the thing that I'm observing."

• On Boundaries in Roasts:

  Glaser [34:44]: "It's insane. I can't even. Like, I did those jokes so much leading up to it, practicing around town."

• On Self-Image Post-Roast:

  Glaser [41:51]: "It's not like you turned around and it's the Hunchback of Notre Dame."

• On Marriage:

  Glaser [18:00]: "I do now, because I can get a divorce... my partner feels the same way."

• On Self-Acceptance:

  Glaser [43:17]: "I know that I’m a pretty enough girl, but it's not as much as I wanna be."

This episode offers a deep and introspective look into Nikki Glaser's personal and professional life, revealing the intricate ways in which comedy intertwines with her experiences and challenges. It provides listeners with a nuanced understanding of the complexities faced by comedians who dare to tackle sensitive and personal topics on stage.