Dex Randall’s burnout experience was a long time coming. He shares that as a child, right from the beginning, he was always afraid of everything. His parents’ behavior was unpredictable and he learned very quickly that it was not a good idea to trust any person ever. The coping mechanisms that Dex learned as protective measures throughout childhood followed into adulthood. Eventually, this came to a head when Dex entered into a job position where he was not in alignment with the founder and felt unable to do his job the way he wanted to. He explains that at that moment, he really felt like the stress was going to kill him. He quit his job on the spot and three weeks later experienced a heart attack that landed him in the ICU.

Dex’s experience with his burnout and heart attack led him to become a burnout coach specializing in male burnout. Even though he now is an accomplished burnout professional, it was a long journey to relearn and deconstruct the maladaptive coping mechanisms from childhood that had been so critical to his survival. Around 5 years ago, Dex was diagnosed with cPTSD, which is complex PTSD that results from long standing, repetitive trauma. This diagnosis helped Dex to reframe his burnout and understand that it was not his fault. Psychological safety is incredibly important, and it can be very hard to ask for help, especially if you have been conditioned not to trust people socially.

Men are typically less likely than women to seek help as they view it as a weakness, but there is nothing more courageous than asking for help. Burnout is not your fault, and you can recover from it. The energy to do so already resides inside you. You just have to seek out the love within your heart.

Quotes

• “This thought went through my mind that the stress was at such a high level now that it was physically going to kill me.” (4:40-4:47 | Dex)

• “Whatever we learn as a child as a coping mechanism is very hardwired in by the time we become an adult.” (16:25-16:30 | Dex)

• “Complex PTSD is often a label given to people who, for example, were in the military where they've had repeated trauma in the military sense, but it's more often given to people who experience trauma they couldn't digest as children.” (18:51-19:08 | Dex)

• “We really do need to do some work on psychological safety, because it really makes a big difference.” (23:05-23:10 | Dex)

• “I think what men in burnout, the message that I would extend to them is that they are wonderful, well intentioned, big hearted human beings who are suffering intensely for reasons beyond their control.” (40:46-41:00 | Dex)

• “I have to realize I'm a valuable and worthy human being before I'...