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Jason Sudeikis
Jason sudeikis.
Benny
The cousin of jada kiss.
Jason Sudeikis
Cousin of cheating.
Kristen
Do you guys.
Jason Sudeikis
When you guys eat, do you optimize every bite?
Benny
No.
Jason Sudeikis
Every single bite. I'm looking to, like, take the best piece of the meat to have the right. Just amount of sauce with the right, like, piece of arugula. And then I create the perfect bite every time.
Kristen
Check.
Jason Sudeikis
What's up?
Kristen
I got one word for you.
Jason Sudeikis
New sheriff in town.
Kristen
Premium.
Jason Sudeikis
Why is the box black?
Kristen
Cause it's fancy. It's classy. And you know what today is? Today is a classy day because we have none other than Jason Sudeikis. Mr. Sudeikis. I think it's Sudeikis. Sudeikis.
Jason Sudeikis
Jason Sudeikis.
Kristen
I think it's Sudeikis.
Jason Sudeikis
No, it's not. It's Jason Sudeikis.
Kristen
Sudeikis. Yeah. Never heard that.
Benny
I like Jason Sudik.
Kristen
Jason Sudeikis. Okay, well, it's a very important day because this is the first time we've ever had an Emmy's dick. Someone who's won an Emmy. Plus, this is Parmigiano stuffed crust pizza from Domino's.
Jason Sudeikis
You see that great cheese pull?
Benny
Wow.
Kristen
Hold on. Caviar.
Jason Sudeikis
Wow.
Kristen
It really goes great with sliced sauce.
Benny
The slice sauce from Domino's is great.
Kristen
It is actually unbelievable.
Benny
Come here, big boy.
Jason Sudeikis
All right. No, I'm just. I have nothing but respect for the Emmy body.
Kristen
Oh, my God.
Benny
You can talk to Jason Sudeikis.
Jason Sudeikis
I'm excited. Jason, I think this man is an absolute pillar of comedy, and I've never met him, and I really think that we're gonna really hit it off. This way, this way.
Kristen
Hey, you prioritize your. I'm gonna let you in.
Dave
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
No, I'm kidding.
Dave
Sorry. That's obnoxious. Just barge right in.
Kristen
Oh, you have to jump over it.
Jason Sudeikis
Did you know this is our first time meeting?
Dave
I know. Isn't that something?
Benny
Well, I know now.
Kristen
What do you think that's your first time?
Dave
What do I think?
Benny
I just bite onion. I just bit into an onion.
Dave
That's so I have. I. This will maybe come up knowing Benny, but I have no sense of smell.
Jason Sudeikis
Really?
Kristen
I was gonna wait to bring it up.
Dave
I know, but onion. Onion breath is like, zero.
Kristen
Tell him that one story real quick,
Dave
right where I shit my pants and so there was like, dog shit everywhere, and I fart, and it just, like, fills my underwear.
Jason Sudeikis
I'm the kind of guy who, when you play, you're like, don't leave him, shooter. Oh, I'm masked.
Dave
Who that I'M Mev.
Kristen
Oh, no. Oh, my God.
Dave
Love that.
Kristen
Listen. Every time. Motherfucker. Oh, my fucking go.
Dave
Like we had all these dogs at the show because the whole premise of that episode was it was an episode for dogs. And so there was like dog shit everywhere. And they were. And people were cleaning it up as we're doing our interview and then putting it in like this open container. And so. And I was like, I was like, I bet I could. I could eat a chimichanga right now with my head over that. That basket of dogs.
Kristen
Yeah, that's not the story. Yeah.
Dave
So literally he goes to this has like someone from the show go down to the street to get like a burrito. And I just. And I'm like sitting over the thing just like this, going.
Benny
Looking at it.
Dave
Looking at it.
Kristen
Yeah.
Dave
Nothing. It's like nothing.
Kristen
Wait your whole life?
Dave
As far as I remember.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah.
Benny
Do you have a weird sense of taste then? Because you can't smell like you have
Dave
a muted sense of taste. I think it's taste bud based.
Kristen
So how do you enjoy that?
Dave
I see like his crazy stuff on there, like with like sushi, like uni with like caviar on it. I'm like, that's my shit. Because that's got a lot of different textures, a lot of like strong flavors.
Benny
You can taste it. You just. It tastes like you're eating Styrofoam.
Dave
No, no, no. I can taste it, but I'm tasting like. I think it's only tongue based. I get no nuance. And the Even more like, I think incredible. But weird thing is I don't remember what things taste like. Sense of smell is so connected to
Kristen
memory, I can't even get you.
Dave
But I always taste it. That's why I get so Taco Bell so often. I'm like, what does it taste like?
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, you don't like Taco Bell? I love Taco Bell.
Kristen
Love Taco Bell.
Jason Sudeikis
Before you walked in the door, we were talking. This is how I eat every single bite. I really. If I'm being thoughtful as I eat, which normally I am. Cause I think nothing makes me happier than the two meals I have a day. Lunch and dinner.
Dave
Two meal.
Kristen
Why don't you just have one more?
Jason Sudeikis
I wanna be really hungry for the
Dave
meal and keep this bod, you know, two meals.
Jason Sudeikis
I optimize the bite. Like, I will take the right amount of chicken and smear it in the right amount of sauce and put like the right amount of arugula and try to make every bite count and every Bite can be different. Do you eat that way?
Dave
No. Not enough? No, I don't.
Kristen
Do you care about food or.
Dave
No, I do, but I like the going. You like the way I don't know how to cook?
Kristen
How can you even have, like, a favorite meal?
Benny
Texture.
Dave
It's probably. It's texture. It's definitely. It's definitely Mexican food.
Jason Sudeikis
It's interfacing with preference.
Kristen
Why is it Mexican? Can you deal with.
Dave
So you show up and you get chips and salsa right away, and I usually show up hungry.
Benny
That's why.
Kristen
Do you know?
Dave
That's one of the reasons mariachi bands. Good vibe. No one's in a bad mood when a mariachi band drunk. Except for the band, maybe.
Kristen
Oh, my God. Are you, like, the best baby changer ever because you can't smell.
Dave
Oh, I am. I am very good at it.
Kristen
You would be, but you're like.
Dave
I always thought, like, what am I doing? I should be in the FBI. Cause in every movie, you know, they get that stuff and they put. They smear it on. I'd be like. I would just walk in and be like, I wouldn't know where the cadaver is.
Benny
I'd be like, where's that little snippy thing we always sniff?
Dave
You could be able to smell that if it's like.
Kristen
Yeah, you could.
Dave
Smelling salts or vapor.
Jason Sudeikis
It is like that.
Dave
But it's the.
Kristen
The nuance. You can't do nuance.
Jason Sudeikis
Has this been a big part of who you were as a person for your whole life? Like, as a kid, or did it not even come up?
Dave
Not even come up as a kid? Cause kids only. It's farts and pizza, right?
Kristen
And then it was far and pizza.
Jason Sudeikis
But smell is such a big part of farts.
Dave
I know. So the whole time, are you just sitting there being, like, laughing at the sound, playing along?
Jason Sudeikis
The sound is funny.
Dave
The sound is great.
Jason Sudeikis
The sound can carry you through.
Benny
You know, what smells like? Like, if you had a guess, what would you say Shit smells like?
Dave
Like. Like what? Like.
Benny
Like what is. What is his interpretation?
Kristen
Know what shit smells like?
Benny
I know. So what does he.
Kristen
Have you ever. Have you ever had shit so bad?
Jason Sudeikis
Wait a minute.
Dave
Why you. No, like, Olivia would do, like, when we were together, she would describe shit. She would describe smells, would try to describe, like, what it is. You know, it's. And, you know, I have two little kids, and Otis has always had a good sniffer. And I remember being like. When he's like two, just looking at him, I go, buddy, you can already do something That I can't, like, Never could at 2. And then he would just, like, play with my nose and go, is there something up there? Is there something up there? Like, what if you just go. I go, nothing, bud. Nothing.
Benny
And it's like, I've never met anyone like you. I don't know anyone that can't smell.
Kristen
What if you stink? Do you know if you stink?
Benny
He doesn't know.
Dave
I don't know.
Kristen
That's bad.
Dave
I don't think I do. But I'm also not obsessive about it, where I'm like, I wear the same deodorant and people, like, they like it. Wear a cologne? No. Why would I say someone I was dating or in partnership with wanted me to.
Kristen
Have you ever been with someone who's like, hey, wear this cologne?
Dave
No.
Jason Sudeikis
I have a really good idea for, like, an activity that we could do today that just came up in my head, but I think no one else would think it's a good idea for a good activity.
Benny
Are you posing?
Dave
No, we just wanna.
Jason Sudeikis
Just stretching.
Benny
Oh, what is the activity? Let's hear it.
Jason Sudeikis
I instacart laxatives. Shit in a plastic bag.
Dave
Okay.
Jason Sudeikis
And you.
Dave
Okay.
Kristen
And you smell it. Is the game just for him to
Dave
smell your answer, by the way?
Jason Sudeikis
That will take two hours. I will be talking.
Kristen
Yeah. I would love hanging out.
Jason Sudeikis
It's just kind of a genuine backdrop.
Kristen
I would love that.
Jason Sudeikis
Of course you would. We're not doing it.
Kristen
But only you're doing.
Jason Sudeikis
I think as a kid, me and my group of friends, that would be what we were doing that day. And I don't think we should do that because it's a ridiculous thing to even bring up.
Dave
It would be amazing, like, to have someone that's a professional, like a fecalist, if that is a real thing.
Kristen
No, no, he's just gonna shit and you're gonna smell his shit.
Dave
Well, that. I'm down to do that. I mean, just someone who has to take a shit. Like, I can do it.
Kristen
Do it right now. I don't know if you need it. Order it right now.
Dave
You're in the private.
Benny
I don't wanna smell.
Dave
Straighten it out. Smells like something. Get your knees above your. Above your belly. You know, get a squatty potty at least.
Jason Sudeikis
Like Brooklyn smells like.
Benny
It's like burning. Like his shit smells like burnt.
Kristen
Yeah, his shit. His shit. You might be able to smell his shit. He's got the type of shit. He's got the type of shit you could smell.
Dave
I never order this stuff.
Jason Sudeikis
Do you want me. You're like. This is so offensive. I think it's offensive at the very end.
Dave
I mean, you know.
Benny
I'm just kidding.
Jason Sudeikis
I don't.
Kristen
No, but he has the type of shit you might be able to smell.
Jason Sudeikis
Let me tell you what's happening.
Dave
I'm here for three days, right? So it's like at some point you're gonna shit.
Jason Sudeikis
Chuck.
Kristen
I'd like. What do you call him?
Jason Sudeikis
Chuck?
Kristen
Yeah.
Dave
Why?
Kristen
He's got a shit in a bag and you smell it and that'll be.
Dave
That's why.
Kristen
Chuck.
Dave
No, Chuck. It's like your mom using a full name, like Chuck.
Kristen
Okay, stop it. It's not even a good story.
Jason Sudeikis
It's a terrible story.
Dave
Like my shitting ones were.
Kristen
No, that was great. It's basically.
Dave
You set the bar pretty low.
Kristen
Basically, we're best friends.
Dave
Yup.
Kristen
We had nicknames for each other. The nickname evolved into Chuck. It was our thing. Dave got a little upset because I started calling a few of our friends.
Jason Sudeikis
He has, like, a compulsion, which you probably noticed, like, even though I too, call him Chuck.
Dave
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
You probably haven't seen me ever call him Chuck. Because he has a compulsion. Before he speaks, he likes to say Chuck.
Kristen
Well, no, he's never heard me say
Jason Sudeikis
it ever in my life to his close friends.
Dave
Yeah. Other people are Chucking.
Jason Sudeikis
Not to me.
Kristen
No, Only there's two.
Dave
I respect that.
Kristen
There's two people that are Chucks and then three, maybe two and a half. And then. Who's a half?
Dave
We don't want them to know. We don't want them to know. We don't know that.
Kristen
Then we put it on his TV show. And now the whole world calls us Chuck now.
Benny
But you guys started it and you just call your uncle.
Kristen
So many people call us Chuck in the street.
Dave
Chuck. Oh, Cause you both call.
Kristen
Yeah, yeah, we call each other Chuck. And like in the show, we're like best friends and we start calling each other that. So every day of my life, a person calls me Chuck. That is not him. That is a random person.
Dave
Yeah, because you oversaturate. You gave it to the. Gave it to the people.
Kristen
No, I partially ruined it. And then you ruined it to the masses.
Dave
You had final cut.
Kristen
Yeah, you ruined it to the masses.
Dave
You kept it in there.
Kristen
You ruined it.
Jason Sudeikis
I kept it in there. I thought there's charm to it.
Dave
Is absolutely.
Kristen
Do you.
Benny
We're considering calling you bj.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah. Benny. His name is Benjamin Joseph.
Benny
No one ever calls him bj.
Kristen
Yeah, now you.
Dave
I. I don't Feel like you're a bj.
Kristen
Do you want to know something interesting?
Dave
You think he's bj?
Benny
I think he could be a bj.
Kristen
I do want to say one could
Dave
have been, but not anymore.
Kristen
The craziest thing was for the first season and a half, it was so hard for us to act because we wanted to call each other Chuck. Cause we call each other so we had to like. Well, I still, I. Yeah, it was so hard.
Jason Sudeikis
You know, sometimes I edit Chucks out of the show.
Kristen
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
Cause there's so many.
Kristen
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
I have to like edit them out.
Dave
Chock full of Chuck.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah. What?
Kristen
You don't even know what that is. He doesn't know what chock full of Chuck is.
Jason Sudeikis
What's chock full of chalk? I know. How much wood would wood chuck? Chuck. If a woodchuck could chuck wood. I did that really well.
Kristen
Wouldn't chocolate isn't that good?
Benny
I like chocolate.
Dave
No, I just knew. I just knew I was just making a dumb. I thought that's.
Jason Sudeikis
Can I ask you an outfit based
Dave
question based on this outfit or one that I've in the past?
Jason Sudeikis
That one right there.
Dave
Yeah.
Kristen
Yeah.
Benny
In the past.
Jason Sudeikis
You hoop.
Dave
I did.
Jason Sudeikis
Same. Yeah, same.
Dave
This is my current favorite hoodie. My son Otis went out shopping with my sister Chris and her partner Rachel. And they bought this. And he was wearing it one day, this is probably about eight months ago. Like, like. And I was like, I love that hoodie. I checked the sku, like, got the number, looked it up. They sold it in adult sizes. Adult sizes. I bought two. Then we're in London shooting this last season. I come downstairs, he's getting ready for school and he's like sitting at the table and I come walking downstairs and he just sort of looks. And I'm looking, he's about to blow up my spot. And he goes, he goes, I have that hoodie. I go, I know. And he comes up and walks up to me. Now he's only like this tall. And he just comes up to me like this and he just picks these up. He goes, these are really good to chew on when you get anxious. Aw, I know, right? And they fucking are. His are torn to shreds.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah.
Dave
Like, that's how I can tell whose is whose. And the silence.
Jason Sudeikis
Are you an anxious human being?
Dave
A little bit. More than I. More than I realize.
Kristen
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah.
Benny
You don't seem anxious at all. Like, I can see it.
Dave
Not when I'm on camera. That's when I become myself. No, it's not that.
Benny
Sometimes you can kind of see it even in the people that are not. But I don't even see it in you.
Kristen
Really?
Dave
Oh, no, dude. My anxiety comes out. I definitely have a small version of trichotillomania. Like, I pull out.
Jason Sudeikis
What's that?
Dave
Like, when you pull out hair.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, you didn't expect us to know what that was, did you? I've never heard of it. Maybe.
Dave
Maybe I heard about. I heard it. It was one of those long words I memorized as a kid. But you pull out eyebrows. You pull out eyebrows.
Kristen
Or.
Benny
Like, that is anxiety.
Dave
Or, like, when writing, like, if there's been, like, a writing session that we've just been thinking and sitting there, and I'm, like, touching my mustache and I pull it out, then my makeup gal will be like, oh, you writing this weekend? I was like, yeah. Because it'll just be like a gap where I just forget.
Jason Sudeikis
Do you have, like, ocd?
Dave
I don't know.
Benny
Do the same thing with my mustache hairs?
Dave
Well, yeah, Right? Where you just pull it out or you just touch it? Just feel it? Yeah, it feels nice.
Benny
Women have. I still have hair in there, but I go like this.
Jason Sudeikis
Do you do stuff to your mustache?
Benny
Yes.
Jason Sudeikis
What do you do?
Benny
When I was younger, I used to take Nair, and now I pluck it, like if I'm in the sun.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah, Nair didn't work. I put it, like, on my pubes and on my legs, and it didn't do anything.
Dave
Really?
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah.
Dave
What does it do? Does it, like, burn?
Benny
It, like, burn. I remember the smell of it was so strong. It's like. It smelled like cement or something.
Kristen
I'd like to tell you.
Dave
Yeah, you wouldn't buy some Nair? Some laxatives? This Instacart. Don't buy it yet.
Kristen
This cart's gonna get more full.
Dave
15 more minutes.
Kristen
How old are your kids now?
Dave
Otis is 11 and a half days. He's nine. He's almost 12. He'll be 12 in April.
Kristen
So now you can talk to your kid. You can actually have, like, real conversations.
Dave
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kristen
What types of things are you guys even taught? Like, what do you, like, when your kid's 11? Like, what's he saying? Is he talking about girl?
Dave
Like, what's happening when he's, like, really sleepy or when we're talking about something else or he's in the back of the car. Like, he did ask me the other day, like, what do you think happens when you die? Like, what do you think it feel?
Kristen
Oh, he said that?
Dave
Yeah.
Kristen
But what did you Say I said, I don't know.
Dave
I guess it depends how you die. Like, I assume you don't feel anything unless it's, you know.
Jason Sudeikis
How does he know?
Kristen
Do you always answer your kids honestly like that? Because I always wonder, like, wait, like, if your kid asks you and you're like, three, and they're like three, I
Jason Sudeikis
think I'll do the same.
Kristen
That sounds like my friend's kid.
Dave
You'll have to remember less.
Kristen
My friend, his kid came to him, and she said, I get sad all the time. And she says, and I don't know why I'm getting sad. And she said, does anyone else in the world get sad? What is that feeling? And why can't I stop it? And it was like. It, like, rocked my friend. He was just like, how old?
Dave
How old was her?
Jason Sudeikis
That's a tough question.
Kristen
She's very hyper intelligent. And at this point, she was probably like, five. And, you know, she has depression, you know, since they figured. And he was like. At that point, he was like, do I tell her what depression is? Do we go into it? He was like. He started crying. Since that day, he promised, like, with both his kids, he was like, I'm always gonna tell the truth. And it's like. And she's totally good. Doesn't he mention, you know, she's in therapy and all? But it's like. But yeah, it's crazy. Like, really?
Benny
I feel like it's good. It is good to tell. I don't know if you guys remember. I have, like, memories of my parents being really honest and, like, open as you ask these questions. When I was younger, I mean, I don't think they would say anything that would be, like, harmful, but I feel like it's a good thing to.
Dave
Asked my parents enough questions like that, I think. Yeah. Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
I didn't ask them anything.
Dave
We had the World Book Encyclopedias. I was set.
Kristen
Do you want to know something cool, though? My other friend, right before his dad died, his dad got cancer, and he said, I don't know anything about my dad. He's like, I know, like, where he was born. Like, I know, like, where he worked. He was like, I have no idea who my dad is as a man. And a lot of. I'd say a lot of people really don't know their parents that well. They think they do.
Benny
I ask so many questions.
Kristen
Yeah. Yeah, you do. But I'm saying most people don't. And he took a tape recorder, and every day he went and he asked his dad every question. When'd you first fall in love. Like, when was the first time you were scared? And ask. Because most people don't know that stuff about their parents. Like, Chuck, do you know, like, everything about this?
Jason Sudeikis
I think I got, like, my parents, like, a book where they can, like, write. You know what I did? I sort of. This is what I did. So I had this exact. I totally forgot that I even did this until just now. And I can't.
Kristen
You're welcome.
Jason Sudeikis
And I have never. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for reminding me of something that I did. And I've never even watched the footage. Yes, you did.
Benny
When you had to cry.
Jason Sudeikis
No, I didn't. No, use something else. But not really use something else. No, that's different. And I'll tell you about that in a second. You should remind me to tell you about that. Actor to actor.
Dave
Yeah, exactly. Inside the actor's scene. Tricks of the trade.
Kristen
You got a pen?
Jason Sudeikis
Parent sit pretty much where you're sitting.
Dave
Literally.
Benny
Exactly.
Jason Sudeikis
Hired a videographer, got a nice good frame. And I just asked them everything.
Dave
Your folks?
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah. For no other reason. Because I just didn't want to even leave it to my memory. I wanted to have all their things. So I just had. And I back it up on all my drives. But then I started watching it, and I just instantly started crying. It was the most innocuous, basic question. And just seeing them talk as if I'm trying to immortalize their soul made me instantly cry. The other story I was gonna say. So I had a scene in my show where I had to get emotional. And I thought, I don't know how the hell I'm gonna do this. I started trying to think about sad things in my life. By the way, I've had the best life ever.
Dave
Nothing came up. It was just hanger after banger.
Kristen
He hasn't done anything bad.
Benny
Uncle Bruce.
Kristen
Uncle Bruce.
Jason Sudeikis
My uncle died when I was eight. Like, I loved the guy, but I
Kristen
was eight and he died.
Jason Sudeikis
And that sucked.
Kristen
But, like, that's the only bad thing that's ever happened.
Jason Sudeikis
I think about my Uncle Bruce dying.
Kristen
I mean, that's the only bad thing that's ever happened to you.
Benny
And his dick stuff.
Kristen
Yeah, my dick.
Jason Sudeikis
Trauma.
Kristen
Dick in your hair. My hair? Yeah, like that. You don't like, right? Like, you don't like.
Dave
You're fine with it.
Jason Sudeikis
Wait, what?
Kristen
You're fine with your hair. You know what? Chuckle like, wow, that's good.
Benny
Your hair is a little flat in the back.
Jason Sudeikis
So I hire an acting coach for the first time. I say, excuse me, here's my predicament. I got this scene coming up, like, every time. I haven't had many. Like, I know people pull from their past experiences. Like, I don't really have many. I'm like, I think about things that, in theory, make me sad, but I just have too much awareness of the reality at hand to not remind myself that I'm sitting on set thinking of this thing. I just can't. And I said, please help me figure out how to do it. Very shortly after my first consultation with her, consultation and hearing how I think and how I talk, she said, okay, look, here's what I would do if I were you. She said, if you don't want to leave it up to chance and, like, you want it, like, I think. I honestly think the best way to go about this is you ask your parents to film a video saying goodbye to you. And, like, they're like, closing statements. And then when it's time, don't watch the video. And then when it's time to shoot the scene, watch the video. And I think you'll be in good shape.
Dave
Like, so that's putting a lot of. Did she talk your parents, too, or.
Jason Sudeikis
She recommended that I do that. And then I said to my parents, so my acting coaches recommended that.
Benny
And your mom cried while she was doing it. She was like, yes.
Jason Sudeikis
My mom literally started crying during the thing.
Benny
Yeah, but obviously, what. She's saying goodbye to you.
Jason Sudeikis
I watched, like, 10 seconds of it at first just to see, like, did they even understand what was being asked of them? And I was like, yes, they do. Didn't watch it until the day. And I, like, watched it. I had, like, a good first take, and then I just kind of got over. I basically got to the point where I couldn't look at the thing and then put it down and then look up and shoot the whole scene. What I wanted was to. Where I would get the most emotional was while I was watching it. But if I'm going like this, none of that footage is. And then if I sit up, it's just not the same. So I had a PA put an iPhone on a stick in the eye line behind the actor that I was talking to, and an earpiece in my ear so I could just sit there and watch my eyeline. Right. And just listen to it. And that's how I got the scene. And I'm both ashamed and proud that that's what happened.
Dave
I think whatever it takes.
Kristen
Have you ever.
Benny
Can you cry on command? Command or like, in a scene?
Kristen
Yeah.
Benny
Without your parents saying Goodbye without.
Dave
No, but. But I, like, I'm trying to think of things that I have thought definitely at one point. You know, certain songs can get me, like, for whatever reason, like, just. Yeah, there's just certain songs that still, like. I mean, I can pretty. Pretty easily, for whatever reason, but the times that I've had to do it that were manufactured. I remember doing.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, I'm gonna have some coffee.
Dave
There we go. Yeah, exactly.
Kristen
Now you have to cry. Sorry, that's the crying.
Benny
You're not crying.
Dave
I'm good.
Benny
Because you're crying because of what the people are saying. You're just being like, I'm gonna cry.
Dave
It depends. It depends on the scene. If it's stuff that I've written. It's usually something that's already inside me that's come out triggered by something else. But it usually comes from a place of regret. So it wouldn't be like having my parents saying goodbye to me. It would be me.
Jason Sudeikis
You got a lot of regrets in your life?
Dave
I don't have many, but the couple that I do have, but it's more about the regret of the things I would say if I was saying goodbye. But I do remember at TED Lasso, at one point, I just thought about this. This morning, oddly enough, was there was one scene where I'm emoting, talking about how the character's father dies and just sort of thinking about where I gotta. What it's gotta look like, you know, and where I gotta be. And I remember just with my eyes closed, being down, just thanking everyone, like, involved with the show for how much hard work and love they put into it. And it was, like, this tremendous amount of love for the process and the people that have done it. It was during our season two. So at that point, people. We had heard that the outside world liked what we were doing. So they're like it. But it's nothing that I would feel capable of doing, like, in front of a bunch of people. Because I know it would bring up so much emotion for me to thank
Kristen
all those people for giving it that right. But you felt you were maybe.
Dave
Because it's one of those weird things with emotion 100%. But you can't. You don't know the difference on camera because I'm, you know, I'm talking about my dad's passing and how much I loved him and how. What I wish I would have done differently before he died at, like. And so, yeah, I'm just thanking all these people. I'd be curious to see, like, that daily.
Kristen
When was the last time you cried in real life?
Dave
Oh, recently. Not a smile. I feel like I need, like. I feel like I need a good fucking sob. We can do it here. Yeah. If I get there.
Kristen
I love a good cry.
Dave
I do, too.
Kristen
You know what my favorite type of cry is in the world? When you're in the shower and, like, it's, like, arm on, like, the sidewall, and you're just, like, weeping, and it's like you can't even catch your breath.
Benny
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
I love. Everything's better in the shower.
Dave
It is. It's great. Everything just chills the fuck out.
Kristen
Do you know I sit down in every shower I ever get in?
Dave
I do know that.
Kristen
Like, on the floor every time I take a shower.
Dave
You want to know what?
Kristen
You want to know how I did it this morning?
Benny
And what are you doing when you're sitting?
Kristen
So I got in the shower, and first I sat down and I was brushing my teeth in the shower, and I'm sitting like this. I went like this, and I laid down like this and spread my legs.
Dave
This is some rich people shit. Look at the amount of room.
Kristen
I know. It's five foot one.
Jason Sudeikis
No.
Kristen
And the water was just shooting up my asshole. And I was just sitting there like this, and it felt so good.
Benny
Don't you hate the cold stuff on your belly?
Kristen
No. It's warm, you know, when you're a hit. Oh, my God. You grew up in my. How old are you?
Dave
50. Little old.
Kristen
Okay, for now. Do you want to say your thing first? Say your masturbation story.
Jason Sudeikis
No, it's not a story. I was gonna say it's a philosophy. You know how you can't smell?
Dave
Yeah. Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
I can't come on my feet.
Kristen
You can't?
Jason Sudeikis
Not really. I can if I. But it takes a lot more focus and concentration.
Benny
But you can really, you can.
Kristen
I can come in any position.
Jason Sudeikis
I can, but I don't want to.
Benny
Yeah, you're. He doesn't want to. You don't ever want to do anything, like, too physical? Like, I always have to, kind of.
Jason Sudeikis
No, I'm saying, how dare you?
Kristen
Sexy.
Jason Sudeikis
How dare you?
Benny
No, I just.
Kristen
They're in love.
Dave
There's confidence in.
Benny
We are so in love.
Dave
Look at that.
Kristen
Yeah.
Dave
Dap it up.
Jason Sudeikis
Hey, how's that Olipop?
Kristen
We try. It's delicious. You know this stuff makes you poop.
Dave
Does it?
Kristen
Yeah.
Benny
Dave, if you drink, like, seven, you
Kristen
got nine grams of fiber in it.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, then maybe you can poop in a bag for Jason. Well, Domino's, you know. What they do every time.
Kristen
What?
Jason Sudeikis
They knock it out of the park.
Kristen
You know what else they do?
Dave
Garlic parmesan crust.
Benny
Can I tell you something? Can I tell you a thing I just thought of?
Dave
It's the best.
Benny
You take a bite from the back and take a bite from the front.
Kristen
This is the best pizza. I'll tell you what the sauce is.
Dave
The sliced sauce.
Kristen
50 out of 10.
Jason Sudeikis
There's only 10.
Kristen
It's my favorite sauce.
Jason Sudeikis
There's one slice sauce.
Kristen
Mm.
Jason Sudeikis
Grab any handmade pan pizza or any parmesan stuffed pizza crust and dip them in the new slice sauce.
Benny
I'm kidding.
Jason Sudeikis
And that's how you level up your pizza night.
Kristen
So I'm kinda gonna put caviar on it. So it's real fancy.
Jason Sudeikis
Olipop time, everybody.
Kristen
Oh, my gosh.
Jason Sudeikis
Which flavor do you guys like better?
Kristen
What are you grabbing?
Jason Sudeikis
The BlackBerry vanilla. I'll take some raspberry sherber, too.
Kristen
I'm a raspberry sherber guy. That.
Benny
They brought this one back.
Kristen
They did.
Benny
Back by popular demand.
Jason Sudeikis
Wait, why does it spelled sherbet?
Kristen
Oh, my God. This is the best smelling thing I've ever smelt in my life. Oh, my God. I used to have an ice cream like a sherbet like this when I was a kid in upstate New York with my grandma.
Dave
And it.
Kristen
She's dead. It literally just brought me back to this.
Jason Sudeikis
Buy any 2 cans of Ollipop in store and they'll pay you back for one. Any flavor, any retailer. Go to drinkollipop.com fks oh, my God.
Kristen
This memory lane before Ted lasso even happened. I remember I was at, like, a big dinner in Europe, and you were there shooting.
Dave
We were shooting it.
Kristen
Yeah. And I remember thinking I was like, a show about soccer.
Dave
Tell me about it.
Kristen
And I was like. And I. And I was like. I was like, is that thing gonna work? Like. And it's, like, became like, boy, did boy, did it become the biggest show.
Dave
But even you, when you were talking
Kristen
about it, you were like, yeah, yeah, we're making this show.
Dave
I still talk about it like that.
Kristen
Yeah. What season are you on?
Dave
We just finished shooting season four.
Kristen
Didn't you guys get, like, the most Emmy nominations ever?
Dave
I think maybe at one point, but
Jason Sudeikis
at that point, you know how many nominations I got?
Dave
No. 4.
Kristen
6.
Jason Sudeikis
0. That's not true. Yes, it is.
Benny
1.
Kristen
No, not even close.
Benny
I thought for, like, directing or.
Dave
You didn't get nominated for anything.
Kristen
Nope. Never.
Jason Sudeikis
Zero.
Kristen
No recognition in any award show at all.
Dave
That's surprising to me.
Kristen
No, no, he's actually never been recognized by anything. He doesn't even get invited to like the.
Jason Sudeikis
He.
Kristen
He. One time he asked me, he goes, how am I not getting invited to the VMAs? He was like, I'm literally the guy you want the most.
Dave
Really funny.
Kristen
Are you pulling out a ticket? Oh, I thought you were.
Jason Sudeikis
Certificate.
Kristen
I thought he's giving you a ticket to the VMA.
Dave
I would have lost 100 bucks on that bet. I would have definitely assumed nominated if not one. But I don't pay too much attention to it. Me neither. Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
Meaningless.
Benny
Maybe they didn't see it right away.
Kristen
Is that.
Dave
Oh, it's the tv.
Benny
It's a Samsung frame tv.
Dave
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Jason Sudeikis
How can anyone not have a frame tv?
Benny
They always tell me that the thing.
Dave
They're so brilliant. Brilliant.
Jason Sudeikis
It's the best. We have to think of an idea like that in life.
Kristen
It helps.
Jason Sudeikis
Black box turns into beautiful art. It's crazy.
Dave
It's such a great idea.
Kristen
You ever thought of any ideas?
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, my God. Please be my food.
Dave
And it's just your food. I'm hearing a possessive pronoun.
Kristen
Yeah, yeah.
Dave
He doesn't.
Jason Sudeikis
I order myself lunch.
Kristen
He doesn't engage with any other.
Dave
No.
Kristen
Hey, Jason, you want anything there?
Jason Sudeikis
You okay?
Kristen
Well, I have not. Well, she. Yeah, well. But I do have a question. He doesn't even need to be here. Yeah.
Dave
What do you think of Dave? No, I can hand him what you read like, right to be here.
Kristen
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
It's not the food.
Dave
What was it?
Benny
Did you order laxatives? Really?
Dave
This is the.
Kristen
Is it laxatives?
Jason Sudeikis
It's laxatives.
Kristen
Oh, my God. Take one right now.
Dave
That is a heavy bag.
Benny
And they also don't make you shit right away.
Kristen
How quick.
Dave
Just send it.
Kristen
Eat the laxative right now.
Dave
You shit in the bag and just send it to my place. And then I'll smell it there and I'll just do a little video.
Kristen
Dave, do you please eat it last?
Benny
Gonna break his like non smelling laxative.
Jason Sudeikis
I love how everyone's really acting. Like she's definitely gonna take the laxatives and shit.
Kristen
Like, what's a laxative smell or look like?
Dave
It's like a gun has been introduced into the scene.
Jason Sudeikis
Everyone's like, yeah, of course you're gonna blow his head.
Kristen
Okay, you can Nair n you because
Jason Sudeikis
the way you're talking about it.
Kristen
Right.
Benny
Okay, so you're gonna smell Nair, Magnus.
Dave
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
You're gonna smell. We're gonna put some Nair on your. The back of your neck.
Kristen
Oh, Magnesium.
Jason Sudeikis
I have Jason smell, by the way. I've done some research. Laxatives, when they're inserted.
Benny
But in fifth grade, somebody went anally.
Kristen
Is that what this is?
Benny
I was like, well, I gotta get rid of this mustache to you.
Jason Sudeikis
I don't know.
Benny
Like, we can see it.
Dave
Yeah. Fatherhood question for you. Go for it.
Jason Sudeikis
I've only known you for about an hour.
Dave
Yeah, yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
But I can already tell that. Okay, enough noise. I can already tell. Just like me, you seem like a type of guy who just seeks the joke all the time. And, like, you live life just like that.
Dave
Fun, right?
Jason Sudeikis
It feels that way. And the. I love that. Honestly, filming these is my favorite thing I've ever done in my career because it allows me to tap into this part of me that was just like the boy who was hanging out with his friends, entertaining them, trying to have fun. Do you feel like you're employing that same sense of humor to your children as they grow up in a full way, or do you have to tone it back or even change your comedic style to communicate with your children?
Dave
I don't change it too much. I feel like I may not be. I feel my sweet spot is when someone is watching the farm and then I can run around. So then as a parent, I feel like, for me, if there is a structure in place, then I can goof around in it, but when I am the structure, then less so. I think they're more inclined to see it when I'm like, being like, a
Jason Sudeikis
key role player while a superstar leads.
Dave
Yeah, you're just not point guarding, just your shooting guard. Then you're getting 30 points a game or you're getting at least 20 looks, and the other person is the one calling out defense and they're switching. Like, are you a strict guy? I mean, I mean, not. I mean, it's all relative, but, like, no pun intended, right? But, but, but. I think Ish. Like, but. But about, like, manners and stuff and, like, saying please and thank you and.
Benny
And do you see your sense. Do you see your kids having, like, a similar sense of humor as you like.
Dave
Oh, my gosh, they're so funny. They're getting funnier and funnier as they go. They've, you know, Daisy's been funny from jump.
Jason Sudeikis
What age are your kids?
Dave
9 11.
Kristen
9 11.
Dave
Yeah. Yeah. So it's like. Yeah, two and a half years apart.
Benny
Almost.
Dave
Almost.
Benny
You know, that's so fun.
Dave
It's super great. Like, such good vibes and then this. But when he and I are having, like, chats and stuff. We'll look through old photos and videos of Daisy and he just cracks up like he's watching his favorite sitcom. Like, he just. It's so sweet. And I just try to remember that, remind him of that, especially as they'll become teenagers. It'll be nuts. What's your sibling breakdown? I know you have brothers.
Kristen
I have one real brother.
Dave
Yeah.
Kristen
Yeah. He's five and a half years older. And then I have three step siblings that are all younger.
Dave
Gotcha. What about you?
Benny
One older brother, five years older.
Dave
Oh, wow. Okay.
Jason Sudeikis
One older brother, four years older.
Dave
Okay. Wow. So that's. That's like different high schools.
Kristen
Yeah.
Benny
I was eighth grade. He was a senior.
Dave
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, yeah. So, like, my sisters are Kristen's. You know, I was 75, she's 79. And then Lindsay was 81. So they're really close and always have been and very difficult to beat in charades, me and my brother. Yeah. That mind meld.
Kristen
Yeah. Yeah.
Dave
It's incredible.
Kristen
You want more kids?
Dave
I would if. Yeah. If I fell in love with, you know, like. Like. Yeah. I think it comes from the.
Jason Sudeikis
Are you a single man?
Dave
I am currently. Yeah. Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
How's being single?
Dave
I don't know. Ups and downs.
Benny
Are you more of a relationship guy? Like, do you find yourself in relationships more than being single?
Dave
I like being in relation to people. I don't. I'm not at a point in my life when I were like, you know, where it feels good or fulfilling to date numerous people all at once. That feels daunting and overwhelming, especially with being a parent. And there's also a new thing of anybody dating that they are like. They're never number one on the call sheet, as the showbiz saying would go. Like, the kids are.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah.
Benny
Oh, interesting.
Dave
You know what I mean? Even probably more so than myself. And so then there's that little bit as you get older, you're like, oh, God, I gotta make sure my cup's full. In order for, you know, other people
Kristen
get the overflow when you're tipping at a restaurant.
Jason Sudeikis
What? Nothing.
Dave
Yeah, Here we go.
Kristen
You know, it's an interesting world to be in.
Dave
You're like, how do you do the math for 12%?
Kristen
Are you are.
Benny
You know, I get too scared to do anything other than 20 and a percent or above.
Kristen
You know what's crazy? You know what the worst thing is? When it's an automatic gratuity at 18. Cause then you're like, how do I even add percentage? Because I always. Cause then I'm like, oh, it's too low.
Jason Sudeikis
He criticizes me for tipping 20%.
Kristen
No, I don't criticize it.
Dave
Instead of What? Higher?
Kristen
No.
Dave
30, 35? No, no, it varies.
Kristen
I don't criticize. It's only if someone else is paying, saying, well, what are you tipping? Cause I want to, like, I say,
Dave
well, if I feel like that's gonna, like, make people more anxious. Right. Cause this is a form of anxiety. I think when we were talking about it earlier, I was like. I was like, I guess as a kid, or up until I was like, you know, growing up, I was like, oh, anxiety is only about dying. And it's like, no, it's about stuff like this. I'm worried about that. But to be asked at the table, like, okay, yeah. Oh, you're gonna pick. Ah, thanks, Mark. That's really nice of you, Mark. Hey, what are you tipping? Well, it's just like. That's like the thing that will.
Kristen
Yeah, I know.
Dave
No one talks, like, red flag. The cheaper. Like, oh, I don't think it teaches anything. Tipping poorly. Because if someone is not good at, like, say it is like a waiter waitress at, like, a. A diner type place, and they're just brusque and not checked in. And you were gonna be. You wanna be there for 45 minutes. You were there for an hour and a half because they were just like, just not there, whatnot. That's kind of nuts that that would happen. But, like, if you only tipped, like, 10%. Yeah, like, they're only gonna walk away from there going, what an asshole. Versus, like, if you're gonna tip 10%, I think you gotta give a note. Give a note saying, I normally tip more, but you were so. Or say it to them. But even that. I'm like, the only thing that stinks more than that for me is, like, is how teachers have to buy their own. Teachers have to buy their own school supplies. I'm just like.
Benny
I'm like, that's wild.
Dave
Women buying tampons. I'm like, come on, what the fuck are we doing?
Jason Sudeikis
Wait a minute. Yeah, what happens?
Dave
Teachers, Teachers, like, when we were growing up, even though I'm older than y', all, like, I guarantee you, the teachers, if they wanted to get something, you know, crazy dope, they'd go out of pocket. But for the most part, like, the school was paying it. Now you see so often, like, you know, just friends, you know, that they're still back home in Kansas. Like, you know, on their Instagram, like, hey, our grade school teacher has an Amazon. Like, wish List of things, you know, so you could buy markers for the kids. I'm like, how is wild, like, paying taxes? Like, where's this money going?
Benny
Like, each teacher kind of like, I
Jason Sudeikis
thought you were, like, referencing some super creative approach to, like, a big presentation and having to pay for that.
Dave
No, no, no.
Jason Sudeikis
We're talking about basic supplies.
Dave
Basic supplies. Like, just.
Jason Sudeikis
Why do teachers have to pay for that?
Dave
Become more commonplace than I've just noticed. And I'm not as plugged in and I don't know the solved and I don't know the reasons why, but I can't imagine I'd be convinced being like, oh, no, no, that's fair. Ms. Norman should have to buy her own erasers. Buy her own chalk. Makes her not blow through it. She has to pay for it herself.
Jason Sudeikis
One time I had a teacher. This is a terrible story. She was just walking and she was kind of young, and she was like, young. It was like the youngest teacher I ever had.
Benny
Yeah, she was like, new.
Jason Sudeikis
She was like, young and new. And she was cool. She was cool. I don't know. She wasn't like, I liked her, but you could tell that she wanted to be cool. And she was like, walking one day, and she just slipped and just fell right on her face.
Dave
Aw.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah, that's the end of the story.
Dave
That's it. It's almost done.
Benny
It's terrible.
Kristen
Then she tipped 100%.
Jason Sudeikis
It was like the craziest thing. Like, I've never, like, it was so just. And then she got up immediately, tried to play it off immediately.
Dave
She was like, oh.
Jason Sudeikis
Like. Then her chin just burst open. And that is now the end of the story.
Dave
Yeah, I had the same. I was running up from the subway at my SNL days, running up the stairs on 30 Rock, running late. And a gal was coming down the stairs, her and her friend, and she full on slips and like, and busts her chin. Same kind of thing. And she stands up and it's that embarrassment that people have when they fall, that she was just like, I'm fine, I'm fine. Meanwhile, just a beard of blood spewing out. And her friend's like, no, Becky, you're not fine. And I'm just like, do you guys, like, I know security, they're just tourists. And I was like, do you want help? And like, no, no, no, we're fine. It's like, no, we need help. And it was just like, we're fine, we're fine. Please stop. I'm fine. Blood just. I'm like, okay, I'M gonna go. It's just right around. The main desk is right around the corner. I was just like, I probably do that metaphorically all the time.
Kristen
Yeah. When people try not to keep running. It's so weird.
Jason Sudeikis
I was on a date one time and the girl tripped. Right. And it wasn't a date. It was like two months into dating a girl.
Dave
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
And she tripped and it was funny.
Dave
Yep. She hated it.
Benny
And you laughed. I laughed and she was mad.
Jason Sudeikis
And it changed everything.
Kristen
Yeah. Really?
Jason Sudeikis
I don't know if it changed everything, but that night it did for sure.
Dave
Yeah. Not good.
Jason Sudeikis
That night was like. Was so fun. We were hitting it off. She tripped, she fell, she got up. I could see that she was embarrassed. And then I laughed and I felt like such a loser for laughing. And then you can't really talk anymore about it. And so we had choose not to talk about it. And then it's really just putting.
Benny
You never know with people. One time I stepped on someone's toe. An ex boyfriend. And I was in trouble for days.
Dave
That's crazy.
Kristen
I have the brain in Greatest story ever, but I don't. I think we're just gonna use it.
Dave
Turn black and blue.
Benny
What's your story?
Kristen
It doesn't matter. It's not. It's not useful.
Dave
What's the best rights to it?
Jason Sudeikis
Do you like go out and like c I pee? Like, are you in?
Kristen
Yeah, man.
Dave
Look at me.
Jason Sudeikis
What am I? Yeah, bud. You ain't stealing all. I don't mean stealing.
Kristen
I mean like that's so locked into Ted Lasso that you're just like doing it or are you getting ideas for like new shows and stuff?
Dave
No, it's mostly. It also funnels into.
Kristen
Into their Zero ideas.
Dave
Zero ideas. Zero idea guy.
Jason Sudeikis
Do you ever feel like you're living a big idea to big Idea?
Dave
No, never. Neither do I don't know why.
Kristen
That'd be horrible.
Dave
Just like. Just swam looking around for the next one. There's a mogul mindset that I think when you're in the groove of like. I was asking. I just out of nowhere it struck me to ask Finny a. What was the time difference between writing what was I Made for and Birds of a Feather? And it was like he was like within like a month. And I was just like, I think that's so neat.
Benny
Yeah.
Kristen
You wanna know something so crazy? One time I was with T Pain.
Dave
Yeah. Yeah.
Kristen
And I was talking to him and we were talking about music and you know, he's done so many big records and one Time. He said he was in the studio and he wrote six number one songs in one night.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah.
Kristen
Six number ones in one night. I will tell you. I'll tell you a quick story that's actually interesting. I had just stopped flying. Okay. And I don't fly.
Dave
Still don't. Yeah.
Kristen
Still don't.
Jason Sudeikis
Never ever.
Kristen
No. I'll take a boat, to be honest.
Dave
Don't say never.
Benny
You're going to.
Kristen
No, no, I'm saying right now.
Dave
Yeah.
Kristen
As of now. Yeah.
Benny
In your future life? One day.
Kristen
Yes, I do.
Jason Sudeikis
He's working through it.
Kristen
I'm working towards it. I'm driving. I'm on, like, my second trip, driving across the country. It's 2009. I'm going to work on Katy Perry's album. Okay. Drive. Get there. I had to convince my brother to drive me. I promised him I'd buy him a suit from H and M if he drove me. So he drove me. And all my friends came.
Dave
Six buttons, big dragon on.
Kristen
I was like, absolutely. For H and M from.
Benny
I was surprised he drove you all that way. Just for.
Dave
What is it?
Kristen
No one had money. This is, like, way back in the
Benny
day, he wanted that suit.
Kristen
And a bunch of my friends came with me. We, like, rented a RAV4 and we all drove together. And it was so fun. So I get there, and I'm exhausted. And everyone's like, come to the studio. And I'm so tired. I get to the studio, they said, hey, we finished the album. We'd love you to hear the singles. And I'm like, what the fuck? I just drove all the way here, and you're done? And then they said, we'd love for
Jason Sudeikis
you to hear the singles.
Kristen
They said, we'd love for you to hear it. And they're, like, dancing in the studio. They're so happy. Cause you never know when you're gonna make the song. And I said, okay. And I'm exhausted. Haven't slept in a bed in a long time. Like, we're, like, traveling. I get there and I, like, go in, and I'm like, fuck. So they're all in the main studio. Everyone's like. They're, like, having a field day. I go in the side room at a recording studio called Conway, and I'm in the side, and I'm just like. I'm just gonna start, like, making some beats. And I just, like, start making beats. And then Dr. Luke comes in. He, like, plays some stuff. And then, like, you know, Max Martin's, like, getting, like, a cookie, and he, like, Comes in and he's like, oh, what's in here? And basically we started making two demos that night. And the two demos we made were California Girls and Teenage Dream. They were the two demos we made. And it was crazy. And literally they go like. Everyone comes in and listens to them. They're like, these are okay. And then we went to bed and then we came back the next day and we were like. We were like, what the fuck? These are insane.
Dave
Yeah.
Benny
Nose behind.
Dave
And I think if you're not swinging from vine to vine, you get to the vine quicker. Yeah, it's a little bit like, you know when you have like the spot in your eye and you, like, try to look at it and it keeps moving away. I feel like that's a little bit. There's something to. There's something to that.
Jason Sudeikis
You know, Gift giving used to be something that was hard for me.
Benny
It's still hard for me.
Jason Sudeikis
It ain't hard for me no mo. I don't know why I said it like that, but. Canva, tell them all. Well, like, if I wanted to get Benny a gift, I could get a. You know, take a picture of me and him, put it into Canva. Canva will design me a coffee mug.
Kristen
I don't want a coffee mug. Nope. I want a stainless steel water bottle with graphics on the outside.
Benny
We can look into that for you.
Jason Sudeikis
I believe that a lot of things are possible and especially from a design perspective. My goodness. Canva makes design easy for anyone with built in AI that lets you remove, generate and anime content in just a click. Start designing today@canva.com this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Benny
Hey, Benny, how has therapy helped you maintain your mental health?
Kristen
Oh, my God. I'm nothing without therapy. You know how they say it takes a village to raise someone? For me, it really just takes one.
Dave
Therapist.
Kristen
Therapist, old man who's my therapist and has been my therapist for 20 years.
Dave
Wow.
Kristen
And. And therapy is a place where I can go and I can say anything and not feel afraid.
Jason Sudeikis
Anything?
Kristen
Yeah, you can say anything. I think, except like, murder.
Benny
Therapy is meant for you to speak your mind and navigate your own.
Jason Sudeikis
Can I say something?
Benny
I would love for you to.
Jason Sudeikis
My mother's a therapist.
Kristen
Oh.
Benny
How have we never talked about this?
Jason Sudeikis
Your mental health matters. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.comfks that's better. A H-E-L-P.comfks did you guys just like,
Kristen
fall into Ted Lasso? Like, how does it even happen?
Dave
No, we made no, we. We. I got hired. NBC Sports got the rights for the Premier league back in 2016.
Jason Sudeikis
This is a rights based thing.
Dave
Yeah, it was. It was.
Kristen
You're literally a right.
Dave
Ad company came to me with like five ideas. They had. Like, I forget the other four or whatever they were, but one was like, football coach, coaches, soccer. And I was like, oh, I, like, just shitting my pants. Like shitting my, you know, my brain. Pants. Brain shit. Yeah, exactly.
Kristen
What year was this?
Dave
2013. Like, this is like May of 2013. So long, so long ago. And then I was like, okay, can I bring two friends? My friend Joe Kelly, who's a great writer, like, and then I had another buddy that I was thinking. And then Joe was like, what about our buddy Brendan who plays Coach Beard on the show? I was like. Cause he knows everything. Huge soccer, football fan, you know, like, Joe knows a little bit about soccer and football, and I knew nothing. So it was kind of like the Goldilocks theory. And so we were like, okay, let's do that. They came over. Olivia and I were staying up in Nichols Canyon. At that point, we, like, had the laptop open. We just wrote out beats, like, for ideas. We knew we were gonna have two days. We're gonna shoot it in London. It was one of those moments for me where it's just like, oh, I'm just like in a flow state or in a zone type thing. We go over there, we make the commercial. It's a multimillion dollar campaign. There's no. We did not write a script. We have no script. The ad company did, but we only were using little pieces of it. You know, I came up with the name Ted Lasso. I was just like, what about Ted Lasso? You know, I just like the idea of a first name and a noun.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah.
Dave
Like, you know, it was like, you know, whatever. And so then we're over there, and in between setups, luckily we had this great director named Marty who did Second City in Toronto. And so he was okay with improvisation as a process. And then we. We would go. We'd dick around for 20 minutes. I'd act like a fool. The character's a little bit different, you know, like, he had a mustache and he'd talk like that and everything, but he's a little bit more like, like, Michael Scott, David Brent kind of vibe. And then we. Then they'd do stuff. We'd go in there and play catan. And then my manager would be outside talking to, like, the guys from NBC. And Todd would be going, but what are they doing, like, what.
Kristen
What's.
Dave
Like, what are we doing next? He goes, just trust the process. Everything's gonna go fine. Marty, the director, was okay with it. We ended up then helping out with the edit. And it was like a little short film. It was like three and a half minutes.
Jason Sudeikis
Like a proof of concept thing of this film.
Dave
No, but it wasn't even. It was just a commercial.
Jason Sudeikis
For what?
Dave
For NBC. For the Premier League on NBC Sports.
Jason Sudeikis
So this is just like. Just a commercial born out of, like.
Dave
It was just a commercial. Just like, here's, you know, a couple hundred grand to make it to be, like, this commercial. Okay, how about we call this guy Ted Lasso? The commercial does so well both with football fans, soccer fans, comedy people liked it. What year was this? 2013. It came out just a couple months later, you know, and it played great. And then we enjoyed doing it. I remember at some point being at the U.S. open, me and my buddy
Jason Sudeikis
John Glazer ripping your mustache hair out,
Dave
thinking, I didn't have it. It was real at that point. But I was so tan, too, from living out here. And I look down the row and I see Tony Parker, who was with the spurs at that point, and Thierry Henry from Arsenal, like, look down and, like, wave at me. And I look at Jon, I go, oh, Thierry Henry and Tony Parker are just waving at me like they know me. We get up after, like, a game, set, match or whatever, and they come up and they're gushing about Ted Lasso. I'm like, oh, wow. This commercial, like, even the cool kids like it. Like, footballers and hoop athletes and, like, okay. So then we enjoyed doing it so much that we were like, hey, can we do another one? And their premise was they're like, yes, but we don't have the budget we had last year, so we can't fly you over there. So. Okay, that's okay. The whole premise of the commercial is Ted Lasso gets hired by the Tottenham Hotspurs and then gets fired, like, three days later because he doesn't know what he's doing. He's hired and fired in three and a half minutes, whatever. And then we did the second one. The idea being. And that's more where the show idea comes out of, where Ted gets hired but then gets fired, but isn't mad at anybody, and it's just like. But falls in love with soccer, falls in love with London. Now he's living back in New York, waking up at 7am to watch Premier League games, driving a Mini Cooper that he named Bradley. You know, like, all these, like, silly jokes, and then it's just like 2015, Olivia and I out to eat or having dinner somewhere, and she's like, what do you want to do? I was like, she's like, you should do some of that Ted Lasso. You guys love doing that. And you enjoyed Joe and Brennan. We all get along so well, you know, when find, like, you know, those people, it's like, blah, blah, blah. We then, like, sit around for a week and write for three days. It was one of these weeks that, like, so many good ideas came out that in three days we had six episodes. Sort of figured out Joe had written, like, a spit draft of the pilot, which is about 85% of what we ended up doing, you know, more or less. And, yeah, that was 2015. Then it just sat there for years.
Benny
You didn't do anything with it?
Dave
No, not for years.
Benny
We got it out.
Dave
Olivia, we had Otis, we had Daisy. I was doing a movie here and there. Kids will slow it down. But they also allowed this gestation. You know, the world was obviously changing with, like, all the Michigan Trump and whatnot. And then Joe was working on a show. Brendan was gigging like crazy doing stuff out here. And then it wasn't until, like, Bill Lawrence had an idea for a show that he wanted me to do that wasn't the right fit. And then he was like, well, if you have any other ideas. I was like, well, me and my friends have this, and I hand him the stack of stuff. And then he read. He flew out to Brooklyn to meet with me. And then I think he read on the way back, and he's like, yeah, there's a lot of good ideas there. And we were all like. So we were like this stalled car. And he was like, basically like the guy that gives us a little jump starter, put gas in the tank. So, yeah, it started as a commercial.
Jason Sudeikis
That's amazing.
Dave
So NBC.
Kristen
I gotta see that first game.
Dave
Warner Brothers owns it. Apple owns all this.
Benny
I had to get rights.
Dave
Billionaire company, NBC passed on it. Like, only reason, like, we went to
Benny
all the people on the show that.
Dave
On the show that we. Yeah, like NBC.
Kristen
I mean, Netflix, everyone passed on Ted Lasso.
Dave
Yeah, but it makes sense. Like, nobody. No promises. You know, here's the idea. And they. They. Yeah, we weren't they. And Apple was like, yeah, let's do it.
Jason Sudeikis
Did you were the Millers, or are you just a hired gun?
Dave
Hired gun. But I did. I helped with, like, rewrites, like Ross and a third.
Jason Sudeikis
I love that movie.
Kristen
You know, What?
Jason Sudeikis
I love it.
Dave
I'm so proud of. You. Should be part of that movie.
Kristen
You know what else?
Jason Sudeikis
Inspiring. As a comedian who just wants to watch funny movies, that's. No.
Kristen
You know who else would. Else is so underrated.
Jason Sudeikis
What?
Kristen
Hall Pass is so underrated.
Dave
Hall Pass? Yeah. That was the first time.
Kristen
You don't like that one?
Jason Sudeikis
I thought you were gonna say Horrible Bosses.
Kristen
Yeah, I don't think that's underrated. I think that's like a. I think that's, like, a huge.
Dave
Hall Pass is one of those movies that I get. I have, like, dudes like my age, like, sort of whisper to me, I love Hall Pass. It feels like subversive.
Benny
I'm like, do you watch yourself?
Dave
Yeah, but not. I don't, like, sit there and, like, crack up. Oh, really?
Benny
This guy. Do you know this guy Daniel?
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, my God, I wonder about that. People think I'm crazy. I'm, like, just up there editing foot of, like, any show, and I'm like,
Benny
he edited all of his show here during. Because it was the pandemic. And I would hear just, like, cackling, like, the loudest laughs. And it was. I'd always say, what?
Jason Sudeikis
Did you watch us?
Benny
And it was his joke. Like, anything he said, do you know,
Kristen
I never realized until, like, I go back and think about it. You're in, like, every movie and TV show ever made. And then I.
Benny
When did you start? How old were you?
Dave
I got hired to write at SNL when I was 2013. So. 20. I was 27. Almost 28.
Kristen
Okay.
Benny
Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
Were you on SNL?
Dave
Yeah, I worked there 10 years. Wrote for two on for eight.
Benny
But you started as a writer and then you did this. And did you have hopes of, like, being on it or. Are there ever any writers that are just like, I just want to write for snl?
Dave
Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Jason Sudeikis
So you're from the SNL tree of comedians?
Dave
Yes, 100%.
Kristen
Within the last two days, I saw you in two things that I wasn't thinking of. I forget what it's called. It's like a relationship one, and it's like a romantic comedy.
Dave
Oh. With Alison Brie.
Kristen
What's it called?
Dave
Sleeping with Other People.
Kristen
Yeah.
Dave
Yeah, I love that movie too, man.
Jason Sudeikis
I like that movie a lot.
Kristen
She watches that one, like, every month. Watches it, like, every month.
Dave
Be a part of that.
Kristen
Are you in the funeral scene of Eastbound and Down?
Dave
Yeah, yeah. Well, the guy in the casket and. Yeah, of course, I had to die by doing cocaine. I've never done cocaine. Still haven't oh, me neither. And I drowned the. The dollar bill across. They're like, no, what are you doing? You don't drag the dollar bill. You're supposed to do it. It's supposed to be like, I don't even know, over. I know. Me neither.
Benny
Makes sense.
Dave
I've never done.
Jason Sudeikis
I thought you'd drag it, too.
Kristen
Never done any drag.
Dave
And what we're thinking is probably the visual of, like, people cutting it up. You hover over, so it's like you're a vacuum.
Jason Sudeikis
You're snorting the dirt.
Dave
We were going broom, coke, broom and whisk.
Benny
No, I just. When he explained.
Kristen
Have you ever done coke?
Jason Sudeikis
None of us have ever done coke.
Dave
That's amazing.
Kristen
You've ever done anything.
Benny
I think I would love it.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah.
Dave
Mushrooms and weed. But I've never done lsd. I've done heroin. No, never done heroin.
Benny
Xanax. Have you ever taken a Xanax?
Dave
I don't think I have. Oh, I don't think I have.
Benny
I wonder. I wonder if you would like it.
Dave
No, I tried Lexapro for a little while there, but it makes it very hard to climax.
Benny
Yeah, I hear that about Lexapro.
Kristen
Wait, what's hard to climax?
Dave
Lexapro was. I remember taking it for a couple weeks. Like, this was ages ago.
Jason Sudeikis
It's big on your feet.
Benny
Is. Isn't that. Isn't that.
Dave
That's a pro. We keep you on your feet.
Jason Sudeikis
Do you think? Cause I don't know how you play basketball.
Dave
Yeah. Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
But I feel like you're probably a good shooter.
Dave
If I'm hot. Yeah. If I'm hot. If I. If I. If I.
Jason Sudeikis
So you're not. Like, I'm always.
Dave
I would say that. I would say that I am.
Kristen
You're not always hot. You're just always hot.
Jason Sudeikis
I'm always hot.
Kristen
Chuck, you're not always hot.
Dave
You're not always hot.
Jason Sudeikis
I'm the kind of guy who, when you play, you're like. Like before the game starts, you're like. Are like, don't leave him, shooter.
Dave
Oh, I'm that.
Jason Sudeikis
You're that.
Dave
I'm that. Oh, I am that. Especially if I haven't played in a while. Like, I can get. If I get hot. But I would say that I'm streaking hot.
Benny
You just mean when you're on top
Dave
of it, just on fire. Like in the zone. Like where. Yeah. Where you just can't mix.
Kristen
What are you doing?
Benny
You make all the three points. Three point.
Jason Sudeikis
Just keep talking points.
Kristen
Do you want any Nair?
Benny
Are you about to get a basketball.
Jason Sudeikis
I'm gonna take a laxative up my. Actually, what am I saying? The Olipop.
Kristen
I don't want it.
Jason Sudeikis
I don't want it. The Olipop that Benny's always gushing about, Maybe that's what I need.
Dave
He's gonna go, right? I don't know.
Kristen
I hope he has, like, a little basketball hoop and we get to play horse.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, we got new flavors. Raspberry sherbet. Is it sherbet? BlackBerry vanilla. You know, I'm the kind of athlete that gets free products sent to him. So what I'm gonna do real quick is try both of these out, because there's nothing better than making choices before you embarrass other men. That's. It's going to be hard to beat. BlackBerry vanilla. Oh, my God. This is a real conundrum for me because I really did intend to come in here and make a choice. Unfortunately, I can't do that because they're both so good. I do need my hands to compete. So I'm going to put these back for now. But maybe. Maybe I'll be back. I'm gonna go get a basketball hoop. I'm just getting something.
Benny
This will be a good time for me. I'm terrible at a pig.
Kristen
Of course.
Dave
Yeah. I mean, you know. All right, I have a few, like, great shots.
Benny
Did you play basketball, like, growing up a lot?
Dave
Yeah, in high school and college.
Kristen
I love that.
Benny
So many men.
Kristen
More men over here.
Benny
I guess I can just play basketball.
Kristen
No, no, it should be over here.
Dave
No, it's a good thing we have
Kristen
nowhere to shoot at.
Jason Sudeikis
I gamed it all out.
Kristen
Move the pan. Where would he shoot?
Dave
Move the pans from over there.
Jason Sudeikis
From everywhere.
Kristen
Okay.
Benny
Where are you putting that?
Dave
Around the world. Look at this.
Benny
Dave, blow out the candles. I don't want anything to catch on fire.
Kristen
That's the stupidest place to put it. There's nowhere to shoot.
Jason Sudeikis
Let me show you something.
Dave
Hold on.
Benny
Let me move off again.
Dave
This is a 12 photo.
Kristen
This is where you'd want to put it so you have some space.
Jason Sudeikis
So you're shooting, like, four feet away.
Kristen
No. What do you mean? You're shooting from here. Yours. You can't. I don't know.
Dave
You don't want to fill that base.
Jason Sudeikis
You don't have that kind of range.
Kristen
Let me just see what's going on here. Check. You're going to hit the thing.
Dave
Where do you keep your extra sand? Because you want to put in that base. You guys have that?
Kristen
You got any Sandals.
Jason Sudeikis
But to me, the light fixtures serve as an interesting obstacle.
Kristen
Ooh, this is a good ball. This one's good.
Dave
That's a pool ball. I recognize that from, like, a pool setup.
Kristen
This one's good, Chuck. Look at the way this bounce.
Jason Sudeikis
What do you think?
Kristen
I mean, I don't know if I like where you.
Jason Sudeikis
I like it.
Dave
It's smart.
Kristen
That's.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, yeah, that's smart.
Kristen
What ball are we doing? That's good.
Jason Sudeikis
Fatherhood type shit.
Kristen
What ball?
Jason Sudeikis
See, you already made that.
Kristen
I was just checking the ball.
Jason Sudeikis
You're one for one. I mean, there's different balls. It seems like you like that.
Dave
Let's see.
Kristen
Which ball. Do you want to try this ball? And first we have to decide what the best ball is. This is not the best ball. This is a bad ball. This is a very bad.
Dave
This is what came with it.
Kristen
I'm taking this out.
Jason Sudeikis
Let me just take a shot. First shot, obviously.
Dave
Obviously.
Kristen
And I mean, I took it for a shot and I made it.
Jason Sudeikis
You did.
Dave
Using the glass.
Jason Sudeikis
This is crazy that you made.
Dave
That's slippery.
Kristen
Why is it crazy that I made it?
Jason Sudeikis
You know, it's crazy. You made your first shot.
Kristen
No, it's not. I mean, you're.
Jason Sudeikis
He's going to miss every shot he takes for the rest.
Dave
We've played hoops. We've played hoops together at Harley. That counts for something.
Kristen
Check him. Let him use the good ball. Let him use the good ball.
Dave
No, but I will right now.
Kristen
Let him.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, that's a good stroke.
Kristen
Let me.
Dave
Let me just.
Kristen
See, that's a good stroke. Let me just try. You know.
Dave
Have you played in the. In the NBA?
Kristen
I made my.
Dave
Have you ever considered.
Jason Sudeikis
No, I haven't.
Dave
Let me try the All Star Game.
Jason Sudeikis
I did.
Dave
Yeah, I played in it twice. One time was awful. Oh, wait, you don't. I don't know if we've ever told you this story.
Jason Sudeikis
The.
Dave
I played it in. In 2010. It was. It was in the day. It was here in la. The coach was Bill Walton. The other coach was Magic Johnson.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, my God.
Dave
It was, I think, one of the first times they put celebrities with real players. Scottie Pippen was on my team, which was exciting, but then it was in a really small, odd venue, and then on the other team was this young kid who I didn't know. I knew the name, but didn't. But an Usher protege known as Justin Bieber. Right.
Kristen
Were you at that game where he dominated?
Dave
Yes, and it was hilarious. Cause it was kind of like. I mean, he Has a crazy shot and it goes in like nut.
Jason Sudeikis
I was.
Dave
I didn't get to play at all. And I was so bummed. I thought Bill Walt and I were going to hit it off because we both smoked pot. And I loved John Wood and I was like, oh, he's going to love me. Couldn't care less. I don't care, you know, like, I want. Because him and Magic were like going head to head. There was like Celtics, Lakers, rivalry stuff. And Bieber's going off. And then two thirds of the crowd was there to see Bieber. Totally where you don't. I didn't realize it. I just knew him as like this. I was like, you know, I didn't know. And before he had become SNL and hosted or even been a musical guest or anything like that. And I'm so. I'm kind of bummed. I remember, like, I didn't even have to shower afterwards. I was just like, I was just changing. And as I'm leaving, as I'm leaving, I am leaving. I've got my bag and I'm getting ready to go. And I see Maverick Carter and LeBron, who I had met when he had hosted SNL like a year, two before, whatever. And both LeBron and Maverick go, hey, Sudeikis. I was like, hey, man. Hey, guys. You know, daft him up. And they're like, look at you looking like a ballerina. I was like, just by the. My look, I clearly did not watch that. And I was like. I was like, oh, thanks, guys. And I felt better. And then I remember that leaving there and going to like, CAA or somewhere to watch the very first screening of Horrible Bosses. And I was just like. And I was like, oh, this is what I do now. Don't worry about the. It was like the universe being like,
Jason Sudeikis
don't worry, we still have value.
Dave
You're not external value, at least internals.
Kristen
You want me to tell you what happened in my first Celebrity Game?
Dave
Yeah, yeah.
Kristen
Okay. So I was at like a. In a. In a Latin one. It was like a Latin celebrity game for like, Latin music. And I get there.
Jason Sudeikis
Good hit.
Kristen
And they were like, oh, we're like giving everyone shoes and outfits. And I was like, oh, okay. And like, I didn't get to talk to them. And they, like, gave me shoes. And the shoes were like, a little bit big. They didn't like, have my size, but they were like, good enough. I could time tight. So it's my turn to go on. And it's like, like, everybody's playing it's a bad bunny's plant, like every big musician. And I go on, and it's the first play, and I run out, and my legs, like, my shoes fly off my body. They fly into there. And I fell out of my shoes and couldn't recover. Like, I fell out and I went like. And I, like, flew.
Benny
Confidence.
Kristen
They had to help me up. I, like, got hurt.
Dave
Help me up. I had no idea what was gonna. I wanted to, like, pause it and say, everybody guess. No, you probably knew necessarily, like. But I was like, I never would have guessed that.
Kristen
They had to help me out.
Dave
My shoes flew off.
Kristen
And then for the rest of the game, I didn't even get to touch the ball. Cause, like, they were like, oh, my God, this guy can't even walk. Nobody even. I didn't even get to touch it.
Dave
Nobody played defense on you.
Kristen
I didn't even get, like. They would be like. They could be like, 18 guys on. And they'd look at me, and I could be wide open, and they'd be like. And just throw it out of bounds.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah, Fanduel.
Benny
Let's go, baby.
Jason Sudeikis
Yep. Let's predict. Let's. You know, we got soccer. We got. Nope, nope.
Kristen
I don't think.
Benny
He's not doing anything.
Kristen
I don't think we're licensed.
Jason Sudeikis
We don't call out anyone in specific, but we got regions like Spain, France, Brazil, England.
Kristen
Now, correct me if I'm wrong. Is this a pro soccer championship that's about to happen?
Jason Sudeikis
I mean, it's more than that.
Kristen
It's global phenomenon of global. What's the other word you would use?
Jason Sudeikis
You can predict the outcome of the pro soccer championships games all the way to the end of the tournament with FanDuel Predicts. Sign up and grab your $25 bonus on FanDuel Predicts and ride this playoff journey with us.
Kristen
You thinking about Spain, France, Brazil?
Benny
I'm thinking about Senegal. I'm going with Brazil.
Kristen
Okay, let's play a quick game of pig.
Jason Sudeikis
Okay.
Kristen
Who's are shits in a bag?
Benny
I love pigs.
Kristen
And you have to smell it. Okay, who starts?
Jason Sudeikis
That's all right.
Dave
We'll be in the order of that round.
Kristen
What ball do we want?
Jason Sudeikis
This one? You want to use that one?
Benny
No, I only made sure.
Kristen
Have you guys decided that's the ball?
Benny
Yeah.
Kristen
I don't know.
Jason Sudeikis
It's heavy.
Kristen
You're buying.
Dave
Too heavy. Too light's the worst ball. Too light, too.
Benny
I mean, two.
Kristen
Okay, that's where you're going.
Jason Sudeikis
Short.
Kristen
Wow. That was terrible.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, no.
Kristen
Oh, my God, she goes. She jacks it up. All right, you got peach.
Benny
Oh, that's hard.
Dave
Oh, my God.
Kristen
Oh, my God.
Dave
Short.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah. God.
Kristen
That's not how it works.
Benny
Don't worry.
Kristen
You're out.
Jason Sudeikis
Nice shot.
Dave
Nice shot.
Kristen
Okay, good. Okay.
Dave
Okay.
Kristen
Now it's my turn again, right here. No, look.
Benny
Well, you just looked. You're looking right now.
Dave
Kristen, when you shift, take your foot off the gas pedal to the metal, my dear.
Benny
What is no looking, though, once you start the shot. So when are you starting it?
Kristen
I'm looking to get his idea of where everything is.
Benny
Like, you're setting me up for failure. He's just gonna say that I'm looking when I shouldn't be looking.
Kristen
Now there's no look. And now I'm looking back at.
Benny
You look a lot beforehand.
Kristen
You can look as much as you want until you stop and go like this.
Jason Sudeikis
You might want to. It's been so long since you've looked. You might want to re.
Kristen
Look in your right hand like this.
Dave
In this, you're gonna chuck it out my left hand. Wow.
Kristen
You made it. Wow. It looked good.
Dave
It did.
Jason Sudeikis
Oh, a pirouette into a. Oh.
Kristen
Okay, my turn.
Jason Sudeikis
Ah.
Dave
Nice shot.
Kristen
Okay. Perfect.
Jason Sudeikis
PI For Kristen.
Dave
Yep.
Jason Sudeikis
I hope it's getting you.
Kristen
Oh, got a hit. Okay. Okay.
Dave
Here we go.
Benny
Good luck, Benny.
Dave
Don't have to run too nice, dude. That was silky.
Jason Sudeikis
So you gotta make this or you're out.
Kristen
Kristen, can she hold on?
Jason Sudeikis
Now it's Benny and Jason, and it's P to nothing. P. I.
Kristen
Hey, Chuck. Hey, Chuck. This.
Jason Sudeikis
I didn't know you were a P.I.
Kristen
what do you think about his stroke?
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah, that's a nice stroke, Jason.
Dave
Look at this.
Benny
I mean, the game.
Dave
Chinatown. Here it comes. Oh, fuck.
Jason Sudeikis
All right.
Kristen
Okay. PI.
Benny
PI.
Dave
No one's hit this. We're just. Yeah.
Jason Sudeikis
The little bounce. Oh, Including.
Kristen
Including you. All right. Inside.
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah. Put your.
Dave
Get soaked like. Baby.
Kristen
Take it.
Jason Sudeikis
Put that water on and be like this.
Kristen
Turn the water on. No, no, you have to be like this.
Dave
You have to do the T1, the scalding hot one.
Kristen
It's so hard to balance. Your turn. It's very difficult to balance. I don't recommend it.
Dave
I mean, this thing just barely let me down.
Kristen
Oh, wow. Why go anywhere else?
Jason Sudeikis
Yeah, that was a swoosh.
Dave
Banks are open.
Jason Sudeikis
That's a smart player.
Benny
That was a swoosh.
Kristen
No, you win.
Jason Sudeikis
Ball game. You win. This is great.
Dave
This is. Hey, thanks, guys. Good game.
Kristen
Good game.
Dave
This is really well done. Well done. This is great.
Kristen
Chuck, I can't believe.
Dave
Thank you.
Benny
You knew you're good at pig, right? You just always win.
Kristen
All right.
Dave
No, not always.
Jason Sudeikis
Well, if you learned anything today.
Dave
That's right.
Jason Sudeikis
So we got to do regulation based sports. You know, we can't play kids kids games anymore.
Dave
No, these. These. These people that invented these games, they measured children. They thought things through through a man
Jason Sudeikis
that I just met. Yeah. I love you. Ah, sweetie, thank you so much for coming on.
Dave
Absolutely.
Jason Sudeikis
This is lovely, but I didn't take laxatives.
Dave
I don't either.
Jason Sudeikis
Did you think I was gonna. I thought I was gonna do it, but it's so inappropriate. It's the most inappropriate thing. I don't know.
Dave
If you, like, had us holding the bag there even then it's kind of
Jason Sudeikis
like you wouldn't have been annoyed if I went upstairs in a bag. I felt like I could tell that you're.
Dave
I would have absolutely gone for it because. Because I wouldn't have been able to smell it.
Kristen
So it's like,
Jason Sudeikis
Thank you, Domino's, for sponsoring this episode and for the pizza.
Podcast: Friends Keep Secrets
Date: June 2, 2026
Hosts: Benny Blanco, Lil Dicky (Dave Burd), Kristin Batalucco
Guest: Jason Sudeikis
This raucous, deeply personal episode of Friends Keep Secrets drops listeners into the playful chaos of Benny, Dave, and Kristin’s Los Angeles home as they hang with Emmy-winning actor and comedian Jason Sudeikis. True to the show’s “hang, not an interview” ethos, the group eat absurdly fancy Domino’s pizza, play a cutthroat game of PIG, and bounce between laughter, emotional honesty, and stories of parenting, mental health, and the surprising origins of Ted Lasso. Real-life quirks, creative vulnerability, and the unique energy of old and new friends drive the conversation, with memorable tangents about smell, family, and existential questions.
The episode is a blend of sincerity, mischief, and unfiltered friendship—just like eavesdropping on a real-life hang. Listeners are treated to inside jokes, unscripted candor, and the offbeat details that drive lifelong creativity, comedy, and family. If you’re a fan of Sudeikis, Ted Lasso, candid parenting talk, or just the joy of being in goofy, unguarded company, this episode delivers.
End of Summary