The Nick Kroll Episode

Summary

Friends Keep Secrets: The Nick Kroll Episode

Podcast: Friends Keep Secrets
Hosts: benny blanco, Lil Dicky (Dave Burd), Kristin Batalucco
Guest: Nick Kroll (plus John Mulaney, Dave Franco, Kristen Bell in the hang)
Date: April 7, 2026
Episode Theme:
A candid, hilarious, and freewheeling house hang with Nick Kroll, focusing on comedy, voice acting, creative competition, self-image, nostalgia, fatherhood, and anxieties—with plenty of playful, irreverent tangents.

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Episode Overview

This episode invites listeners into an intimate, unscripted hang at Dave and Kristin’s home with their crew—including Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Dave Franco, and Kristen Bell. The vibe is irreverent and loose, with riffing on everything from LA smoothie prices and adolescent embarrassments to the emotional mechanics of being a professional comedian and dad. Through it all, Nick Kroll’s distinct comedic perspective shines: candid, self-aware, and vulnerable, using humor to connect over shared anxieties and life’s awkwardness. “Friends Keep Secrets” delivers on its premise—offering the feeling that you’re right there in the room, whether they're making ball jokes, swapping career stories, or gently roasting each other's insecurities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Erewhon Smoothies, Celebrity Stunts, and Capitalism Satire

• Starts with a discussion of Erewhon’s famously pricey smoothies, joking about selling an “empty cup” for $100 as a “commentary on capitalism.”
  • Nick Kroll: “For a good one, you want to get over like 40. 45. If you know you’re gonna get a smoothie. Yeah, you do. 45.” [00:22]
• Nick riffs on "Vons farts" (jars he claims to have sold at Erewhon), poking fun at absurd health/wellness trends.
• Tangent into “what if a celebrity like Brad Pitt made a wild public stunt announcement?” and how fame warps reality.

2. Body Image, Abs, and Comedic Insecurity

• Playful debates on six-packs, lighting tricks for photos, and male body image anxieties—often veering into dick jokes.
  • Nick Kroll: “I had my dick had a six pack. My dick was lifting.” [04:04]
  • John Mulaney: “My first song I ever put out, like, one of the main bits was Dick has Abs.” [04:09]

3. Comedy “North Stars,” Career Competition, and Sibling Bonds

• Each guest names the “comedy movie of their life” (Heavyweights, Wayne’s World, The Producers, Big Lebowski, Superbad).
  • Nick: “I loved [Wayne’s World] and then The Producers because I was a fancy little boy.” [04:59]
• Nick shares about his brother and the special bond they have, including a memorable solo vacation together.
• Explores the healthy (and not-so-healthy) rivalry between friends in the comedy world, and how professional jealousy manifests.
  • Nick Kroll: “I have a healthy competition with all of my friends in comedy because I also am attracted to talent.” [17:18]

4. Finding Voices—Animated Work and the Art of Voice Modulation

• Nick explains his approach to developing voices for characters (e.g., Gunter in “Sing,” Maury the hormone monster in “Big Mouth”).
  • Nick Kroll: “It’s all a choice of an accent, a dialect, and then a modulation. And then if there’s some extra something on it.” [13:29]
  • Performs several voice impressions for the group, deconstructing how each is built.
  • Nick Kroll: “My one physical strength I think is my ability to do long larynx work.” [15:03]
• Talks about the physical toll and creative challenge of holding a voice through long recording sessions.

5. Creative Insecurity, Early Embarrassments, and the Roots of “Big Mouth”

• Nick gets real about not feeling like a surefire future star as a kid—even though he was voted to give his high school graduation speech (which he “bombed”).
• Relates formative adolescent trauma straight out of “Big Mouth”—getting pantsed at a party, childhood crush humiliations, and body insecurity.
  • Nick Kroll: “I was pants in like seventh grade in front of my high school… And I had not hit puberty.” [24:48]
• The group riffs on the freedom of talking about “dicks” in creative work—animated and otherwise.

6. Parenting, Projection, and Navigating Anger

• Nick describes being a dad, seeing himself in his son, and wrestling with wonder and frustration (“he’s just being a four-year-old, but I’m getting angry at myself”). [37:06]
  • Nick Kroll: “As he learns how to navigate the world, I can get angry with him and I’m realizing on some level I’m just getting angry with myself.” [37:06]
• Opens up about his even-keeled emotional state, not experiencing much anxiety—but recognizing new forms of anger since becoming a parent.
• Touches gently on generational cycles, expectations, and hope for self-acceptance.

7. Turning Off “The Performer,” and the Joy of Hanging with Peers

• Discusses the tension between always being “on” for laughs and learning to be present and vulnerable in real life.
• Dialogue on where “joy” comes from for comedians: getting a laugh, impressing, and true connection.
  • John Mulaney: “I’m never happier than when I’m around someone I don’t know that well and I’m making them laugh.” [12:21]

8. “Big Mouth” & Animated Coming-of-Age—Creative Process & Impact

• Nick and the group reflect on why “Big Mouth” had to be animated, enabling more honest, surreal, and nuanced depictions of puberty.
  • Nick Kroll: “It was always built to be animated so that we can tell more nuanced, deeper stories about puberty, sexual development, adolescence… you can get away with more and really dig in on a level that would be hard in a live action.” [41:53]
• Considers “Big Mouth” as his “championship ring”—and what it feels like to wonder if he’ll ever reach that creative high again.

9. Material Success, Fashion, & The Hermes Experience

• Nick opens up about caring a lot about fashion, going to his first Hermes show with his wife:
  • Nick Kroll: “I care about fashion. I do care about fashion. I went to a fashion show… It was so cool… fascinating to watch being. We went to the factory, and we got to look at the bags being made…” [45:09]
• Broadens the picture of his life—balancing creativity, family, and self-presentation.

10. Friendships, Collaboration, and the Oddities of Male Bonding

• Hilarious, vulnerable back-and-forth about competitive friendships, work squabbles, and even FaceTime “help” for long-distance masturbation.
  • Dave Franco: “He basically had this like handheld iPhone video of him… I was able to jerk off.” [56:07]
• Ends with the group taking turns asking each other cheeky, honest questions—culminating in Nick performing customized character voices for each friend.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Nick Kroll, on comedic competition:
  “I have a healthy competition with all of my friends in comedy because I also am attracted to talent. I’m attracted to the most funniest, most talented people. So I can’t help but be like, I don’t know. Are you guys...” [17:18]

• John Mulaney on comedic fulfillment:
  “I’m never happier than when I’m around someone I don’t know that well and I’m making them laugh. Like, when I make you laugh, I feel like I’m reminded of what I’m like the Injection of happiness.” [12:21]

• Nick Kroll, on voice acting:
  “It’s all a choice of an accent, a dialect, and then a modulation. And then if there’s some extra something on it. You know what I mean?” [13:29]

• Nick Kroll, on creative agency:
  “I was always too impatient to wait to be chosen.” [19:03]

• On formative trauma (with dark humor):
  “I was pants in like seventh grade in front of my high school... And I had not hit puberty.” [24:48]

• Nick Kroll, on “Big Mouth” and owning adolescent pain:
  “You have to figure out how to come to peace and embrace that person…because we carry all that shit. You carry all of your anxiety and your depression and…all of those things with you wherever you go.” [36:12]

• On being a creative parent:
  “As he learns how to navigate the world, I can get angry with him and I’m realizing on some level I’m just getting angry with myself.” [37:06]

• On the joy of letting go:
  “When it goes well and it’s a delight, it’s like to release control is wonderful.” [48:57]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Smoothie/Capitalism/Satire: 00:00–01:30
• Celebrity Stunt Hypotheticals: 01:50–02:45
• Abs, Body Image & Dick Jokes: 03:05–05:00
• Comedy Influences & Siblings: 05:10–06:15
• Finding Your Voice/Voiceover Craft: 07:00–16:25
• Creative Competition: 16:40–19:25
• School/Parental Stories: 09:10–10:35
• Anxiety, Anger & Fatherhood: 36:00–38:30
• Big Mouth Origin/Childhood Embarrassment: 24:45–26:00
• Being “On”/Turning Off Performer Mode: 11:07–13:13
• FaceTime “Assistance” Dick Joke: 55:35–56:18
• Nick’s Hermes Fashion Story: 45:09–46:45
• Closing Q&A & Nick’s Custom Voices: 53:40–57:44

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Final Highlights

• Nick’s willingness to share both deep anxieties and absurdist humor—including stories about parenting, old humiliations, professional envy, and his emotional DNA—makes the podcast feel both personal and hilarious.
• The group’s chemistry demonstrates the show’s ethos: that intimacy, vulnerability, and humor are all best shared with friends.
• The episode closes with Nick giving each host a personalized motivational message in different character voices—a perfect meta-comedy signoff.
  • “Understanding that you were a fan of mine as I was. You brought me so much joy, Chrissy…” [57:08]

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TL;DR – Why Listen?

This episode is a masterclass in both comedy and camaraderie, inviting you into the real hang behind the culture’s favorite comedians. You’ll laugh hard, maybe cringe a little, and—most importantly—feel the warmth and imperfection of real friendship.

Transcript

[Dave Franco]

I had the best idea. We charged per for Erewhon. It was the best idea ever.

[Kristen Bell]

You came up with the idea for Erewhon?

[Dave Franco]

No. Yeah, no, I came up. I wanted to make a thing. You know how they have like, all these smoothies and like, every smoothie's like a hundred dollars. Yeah, I wanted to make. I think every smoothie is actually like 30 or 40 bucks.

[Kristen Bell]

No, it's not.

[Dave Franco]

I think it is.

[Kristen Bell]

No, it's like 20 smoothie that you find.

[Nick Kroll]

No, for a good one, you want to get over like 40. 45. If you know you're gonna get a smoothie. Yeah, you do. 45.

[John Mulaney]

He's joking. I don't ever buy smoothies. He's joking.

[Dave Franco]

No, they have smoothies there. Yes, they do. They have smoothies that are like.

[John Mulaney]

When I go on. I'm a general man. I'm in public buying a smoothie. It's usually like a normal $12.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, that's a normal smoothie.

[Nick Kroll]

Yes.

[Dave Franco]

Erewhon has a smoothie that's like. That's like probably like 50 bucks, I think. I mean, you could make it even

[John Mulaney]

more just with add on. You're talking about, like, add ons.

[Dave Franco]

Okay, wait.

[Nick Kroll]

You should have a smoothie. A zero fruit smoothie.

[Dave Franco]

Wait, so listen to. Wait, Listen to what I do.

[Nick Kroll]

Because I know that you don't like fruit.

[Dave Franco]

Listen to what my idea was.

[Nick Kroll]

I know this about you.

[Dave Franco]

My idea was to have the Erewhon smoothie, and it's a I R w h o n. And you go in and they give you an empty cup, and it's $100, but it's all.

[Kristen Bell]

You want to rip off the public.

[Dave Franco]

It's all. No, no, it's all for charity.

[Kristen Bell]

Then it becomes this whole thing, this commentary on capitalism.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

And.

[Kristen Bell]

And, you know, I don't even.

[Dave Franco]

They turned me down for life.

[John Mulaney]

I think consumers might be too savvy.

[Nick Kroll]

I have, like, a jar of called Vons farts. So I keep. I have just like a small jar that I keep of the farts that I collected.

[John Mulaney]

Von's.

[Nick Kroll]

But you put your I fart in. Yes, I fart in jars at Vons. And then I sell those. And I've been trying to sell it to Erewhon.

[John Mulaney]

You're joking.

[Dave Franco]

Do you think right now, like, right now you take like a superstar. You take like, Brad Pitt's like, a perfect example because he's so. He's like, old, young, like everyone knows who he is. And he says, tomorrow afternoon, I'm masturbating on top Of Mel's Diner.

[Nick Kroll]

There's no phones allowed. It's just an immersive experience for the people in the room at that.

[John Mulaney]

Do you side on top of Mel,

[Nick Kroll]

do you think like Mel's Diner? Which Mel's. Are we talking which one though? On Sunset. Which located. Okay.

[Dave Franco]

The one on Sunset. Okay. Brad was married to Angelina for a while, right?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, I think so.

[Dave Franco]

Right.

[Nick Kroll]

Wait, was Brad Pitt married to Angelina

[Dave Franco]

Jolie at the height of his career? He said, I think so.

[Nick Kroll]

Right?

[Dave Franco]

He says Brad Pitt and Angelina having sex at Sofi Stadium. Like, you don't take.

[Nick Kroll]

I think there would be more flights in. I think there would be. The airport would be more crowded.

[Dave Franco]

Like, do you think Bruce Springsteen was like, I'm blowing my head off at MSC for charity.

[Nick Kroll]

Is it for charity?

[Dave Franco]

Okay.

[Nick Kroll]

Ugh. Jeremy Allen White watches that and he's like.

[Dave Franco]

He's like, the next one.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, the next one's his fucking doozy.

[Dave Franco]

Jeremy Allen White's got a good bodies.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, well, I mean that I've seen it sometimes.

[Dave Franco]

I don't know where his belly button is though.

[Kristen Bell]

I haven't looked at it that closely.

[Nick Kroll]

He may have had it removed. Your people have their belly buttons.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, they do. I saw. He's so like, come.

[John Mulaney]

I saw the pictures that you're talking about.

[Kristen Bell]

They do not everything you said.

[Dave Franco]

Even your shirt is just high.

[John Mulaney]

I think his skin is so taut around his muscles.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Mulaney]

That the. That any you, you know, non smooth thing is just going to be pulled too tight.

[Nick Kroll]

Have you ever had. Have you ever had a six pack? No.

[Kristen Bell]

He does. You do. I don't have to.

[Dave Franco]

We've both had a thing where we look.

[John Mulaney]

He hasn't had it like me.

[Dave Franco]

Good.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

Or we like.

[Nick Kroll]

We like a ripped like.

[John Mulaney]

No, no.

[Kristen Bell]

They think if they just alter like the angle and then they lean back

[John Mulaney]

and they get the. Cause like as good as I can

[Nick Kroll]

look like that looks okay. That looks great.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, you look like. It's like.

[Dave Franco]

No, but that's like.

[Nick Kroll]

It's like that. Is that the angle?

[Dave Franco]

Turn sideways.

[John Mulaney]

That's actually not that great. Like if you walk up and look, it's just kind of like.

[Nick Kroll]

Right. But the lighting, the lighting.

[John Mulaney]

Why do you think I took eight steps?

[Dave Franco]

Have you ever felt comfortable, like, naked, like looking at yourself in the mic?

[Nick Kroll]

You're like, fuck, yeah, of course.

[Dave Franco]

Did you ever have a six pack?

[Nick Kroll]

Never had a six pack. I had my dick had a six pack. My dick was lifting.

[John Mulaney]

I have that joke.

[Dave Franco]

You do?

[John Mulaney]

I've made that joke. It was my first Joke in my career in the Ex Boyfriend. My first song I ever put out, like, one of the main bits was Dick has Abs. I basically met my girlfriend's ex boyfriend, and he's like, so, like, jacked and cool. And then, like, I'm peeing next to him in the stall and I look over at his dick, and his dick has abs.

[Nick Kroll]

Nice. Yeah. So it's, like, aspirational.

[John Mulaney]

That's why. Yeah, that's what.

[Nick Kroll]

I like that. Honestly, I saw that video from that day photo. I was like, I'm gonna work on my cock until it gets abs.

[John Mulaney]

What do you rank? Superbad.

[Nick Kroll]

I haven't seen it in a long time. I'd love to go back and watch it. I bet it's good.

[Dave Franco]

I saw it. It's too much.

[Kristen Bell]

It still holds up.

[John Mulaney]

It hit us when we were, like, junior seniors in high school. So for us, it's like, no question, the comedy movie of our life.

[Nick Kroll]

Yes, yes.

[Dave Franco]

What's the comedy movie of your life like?

[Nick Kroll]

Heavyweights, of course. The Oscar. Multi Oscar winning film. Heavyweights. No, that means not Wayne's World. It's Wayne's World. Wayne's World is like. I loved and then the Producers because I was a fancy little boy.

[Kristen Bell]

The Producers.

[Nick Kroll]

Mel Brooks first movie.

[John Mulaney]

What do you mean by that? You were just into plays and it

[Nick Kroll]

was just that I, like, knew because I had older brothers that I knew. My older brother was like, I knew about the Producers. I felt like I was like. I.

[John Mulaney]

Like, that's how big Lebowski was for me.

[Nick Kroll]

My older brother. I went and saw that with. I went and saw Lebowski with my brother. The two of us on a vacation. I got a. I had an allergic reaction to the sun.

[John Mulaney]

Wait, not in theaters.

[Nick Kroll]

In theaters.

[John Mulaney]

Oh, so this is pre. Like, everyone knowing it was a. Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

I saw it in a small town, and my brother. I remember my brother being like, it was fine. It was the first time I was like, the fuck are you talking about? Like, that movie rocks so hard, you know? And we since patched. Patched it?

[John Mulaney]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

You have different things.

[Nick Kroll]

I have one brother.

[Dave Franco]

How many sisters?

[Nick Kroll]

Two sisters.

[Kristen Bell]

You're close with your brother?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, I'm close with my sister.

[Dave Franco]

How did you know?

[Nick Kroll]

The way I'm talking about it, he

[Kristen Bell]

went to see a movie with his brother.

[Nick Kroll]

We went on. It was like, one of our only vacations together solo. We went away a couple times. It was cool. It was fun.

[Kristen Bell]

How old were you when you guys went on a solo vacay?

[Nick Kroll]

He was like, probably in his mid to late 20s and I was like, in college.

[Kristen Bell]

That's sweet. That's really sweet. Brotherly love.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

I was really gone on a solo vacation.

[Kristen Bell]

Where are you from?

[Nick Kroll]

I'm from Westchester county in New York.

[John Mulaney]

What are you trying to do physically?

[Nick Kroll]

I was deciding. I went there and then we came and re engaged. So I did a little.

[John Mulaney]

You know what I do sometimes?

[Nick Kroll]

I did a little crawl.

[John Mulaney]

You can do whatever you want.

[Dave Franco]

Dave does a little. I have an accent.

[Nick Kroll]

What kind of accent do you have?

[Kristen Bell]

I don't know. I thought you were more.

[Dave Franco]

No, you just sound very easy.

[John Mulaney]

You thought he was East Coast.

[Nick Kroll]

Do I sound very Jewish?

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, you sound extremely Jewish.

[Nick Kroll]

You sound, to me mid Atlantic so slightly.

[Kristen Bell]

What's that?

[Dave Franco]

What do I sound like, Philly?

[John Mulaney]

Like Georgie.

[Nick Kroll]

No.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah, like, I feel you on that. She's Michigan, though.

[Nick Kroll]

Michigan. Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

But I mean, I like that.

[John Mulaney]

You sound like.

[Nick Kroll]

You sound like a created thing. Yeah.

[John Mulaney]

AI.

[Nick Kroll]

I do. I'm like the first round of AI.

[Dave Franco]

Oh, my God. Wait, I'm doing my first. I'm gonna need so much help. I'm doing my first voice voiceover. No, no. I'm gonna be in a movie.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. Great.

[Dave Franco]

An animated movie. Yeah. I'm the lead.

[Kristen Bell]

Wow.

[Dave Franco]

Not the lead. Yes, I am.

[John Mulaney]

No, you're not.

[Dave Franco]

Yes, I am.

[John Mulaney]

You're the enemy. The French. The thing.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. There's two leads in the movie, and I am one of the leads.

[John Mulaney]

Just remember I said he's not the lead. When you watch the movie, if you

[Nick Kroll]

had said one of the leads, you would have been fine. He would have let you go.

[Dave Franco]

Isn't that what I just.

[John Mulaney]

It depends on the movie. Like, for example, like, would you say that Joker is the lead of the Dark Knight? No. He won best supporting Actor.

[Dave Franco]

No, I just think I'm one of the leads. Well, you said.

[Nick Kroll]

You said I'm the lead.

[Dave Franco]

Didn't I change it to one of the leads, though, after you called?

[Nick Kroll]

And that's what makes this relationship so beautiful. That's like. You guys hold each other to a

[John Mulaney]

higher standard, but you do need to. His voice is like.

[Nick Kroll]

It's a great voice.

[John Mulaney]

His range, too. He can do all the different things.

[Dave Franco]

But I play the villain.

[Nick Kroll]

I love playing the villain. In animated movies, especially, the villain is real fun.

[John Mulaney]

When did you, like, come to the realization? I'm sure you always felt, like, super funny and were making everyone laugh. When did you even realize that you were good at doing voices?

[Nick Kroll]

I always did voices growing up. Me and Andrew, who I created Big Mouth with, we've been we girls were best friends. I've known him since first grade. We were best friends, like, from, like, middle school on. And so that's how we, you know, like, you had your buddies who you did shit with, and. He was my buddy who I did stuff with.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

And we were. I think it was. I honestly believe everyone thought I was, like, pretty funny growing up, but, like, I think it was a lot more hit and miss than I would have liked. And so when I ended up becoming an actual, like, successful working comedian and actor, I think people were. I wouldn't say surprised, but it wasn't a given.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't think. I mean, you start, like, you start being a professional musician young, right?

[Dave Franco]

I have. Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. So you. And you.

[John Mulaney]

Did you feel like people weren't surprised?

[Nick Kroll]

I think people weren't surprised. Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

You don't even have to come over here.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. Like, my son, like, did you get a superlative when you were in high school?

[Nick Kroll]

I was, like, voted by my class to speak at my high school graduation.

[Kristen Bell]

Wow, that's impressive, though.

[Nick Kroll]

So I was funny enough for them to be like, yeah, like, let's let him do it.

[John Mulaney]

That's huge.

[Nick Kroll]

Right? So then I kind of. I kind of bomb the speech. Like, I don't nail it. I do. I talk about high school as, like, a metaphor for jazz and show. Like, here's the head of the song where you, like, learn the basics and structure of who it is, and then you get to go off and, like, improvise based on what that early structure is. Like a fine point, but, like, a fucking speech. No need. And then I kind of talked shit about the administration, and they got very upset about that. And so that night, I remember going to, like, the high school graduation party and felt like I had, like, blown it.

[Kristen Bell]

But you also felt like, wow, I must be something if they voted me for that before that.

[John Mulaney]

So I had a nice opportunity.

[Kristen Bell]

You rose to the fame. And then you instantly tried to.

[Nick Kroll]

I had enough affirmation to be like, ah. And I was like, boink. And then, okay, fair enough. And then the next year, two years later, I go to college and I start the. Really, when I felt it is like, I tried to do this, the funniest act on campus. Like, the. You know, I'll give it a try. And I bomb. But Mike Birbigli is in. He wins. He's, like, a year ahead of me in school, and he wins that thing and gets to start performing, like, the DC improv. Whatever.

[Dave Franco]

Wait are you from DC? Why'd you say DC?

[Nick Kroll]

I went to school in D.C. where? Georgetown University.

[Dave Franco]

Oh. My stepmom works there.

[Nick Kroll]

Really?

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. I grew up in Virginia, which sounds cool.

[Kristen Bell]

I grew up in Virginia once at a party.

[John Mulaney]

I wish I could have gone, like, if I. My parents, I feel like they remember, valued me.

[Nick Kroll]

I know. I know. Congrats, man.

[Dave Franco]

Thank you.

[Kristen Bell]

Tell us about how your parents undergo.

[John Mulaney]

I just feel like. I mean, my parents, to be fair, I could not have gotten into Georgetown.

[Nick Kroll]

Sure.

[John Mulaney]

But I.

[Nick Kroll]

On my own merits. Nor could I.

[Dave Franco]

What would you do?

[John Mulaney]

Merits?

[Nick Kroll]

It's like, you know.

[Dave Franco]

No, I don't know.

[Nick Kroll]

Like, you know, family connections.

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, really? Do you feel like you always have to be on now? Like, now that you're, like, perceived, or is it just so natural?

[Nick Kroll]

No, I was very conscious of not being in my real, real life and with the people turning it off. As soon as I got to be famous, I was probably on my whole childhood and into finding actual success. At that point, I think I started to feel like it was, like, not cool and people. I'd get the reflection from people that it wasn't cool to be always on. But then you probably self correct so much so that eventually I'm like, not nearly. Like, I can fully turn it off, like, because we're, like, trying to fucking entertain everybody. You're gonna get some jokes here, but, like, moment to moment, I wouldn't be as like. Yeah, I wouldn't be as like.

[John Mulaney]

But isn't your. I'm just speaking through my own experience.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[John Mulaney]

Is your.

[Dave Franco]

What's happening to you?

[Nick Kroll]

I'm giving myself a little back scratch. I got real sensitive skin. I'm getting a little back scratch.

[Kristen Bell]

Do you want us to move that pill? Is that.

[Nick Kroll]

You know, I'm good enough.

[Dave Franco]

The way your body is contorted.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. Don't you like her? It's like I'm directed right toward you. Look at what I'm trying to get.

[Dave Franco]

I know.

[Nick Kroll]

I'm trying to get this Nike. You're actually flexible.

[Dave Franco]

Your legs broke.

[John Mulaney]

Like, would you say that?

[Nick Kroll]

What if you just saw me leave and I fully just. And then. Anyway, what were you saying?

[John Mulaney]

Like, I feel like you strike me as a man who, you know, personal joy can come from the little moments where you seek a joke and make like to me, I'm never happier than when I'm around someone I don't know that well and I'm making them laugh. Like, when I make you laugh, I feel like I'm reminded of what I'm like the Injection of happiness.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Mulaney]

But I don't really think about it as trying to be on or not. I feel like my natural. The thing that would give me the most joy, I guess, is the act of being somewhat on.

[Dave Franco]

Yes.

[Nick Kroll]

I think you probably have a clear line of. You're like, I'm not funny right now. I'm angry about this, and I don't think I have that. So I'm in like a lightly docile state in most times, but only more being like, it's time to like, my role in whatever this interaction is, is to be more entertaining.

[Dave Franco]

Hey, have you ever been on the phone, like, talking to someone and they say, are you the guy from that, like. Cause your voice is so distinctive.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, my personal voice?

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, your personal voice. You'll be. All of a sudden, it's all a

[Nick Kroll]

choice of an accent, a dialect, and then a modulation. And then if there's some extra something on it. You know what I mean?

[John Mulaney]

Four part.

[Nick Kroll]

It's a 4:3 for my voiceover.

[Dave Franco]

What are you talking about?

[John Mulaney]

I'm with you. I'm locked in.

[Kristen Bell]

I'm locked in.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay. Like Gunter. I'm Gunter in the Sing movies.

[Dave Franco]

Okay, keep going.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, he's a spicy little number, right? So it's like, hi. Yeah, it's like major pinky pow wow, right? You know, that's his, like, big.

[Dave Franco]

Now, did you make that up or what?

[Nick Kroll]

Did you. So, yeah, so I get sent that this guy, Garth Jennings, who directed the Sing movies, incredible animator, he made those and he made a kid. He made a great movie called Son of Rambo, but he's made those over the last, like 10 years. He's made the Sing movies, which I think are really. I'm in it, so I'm jealous.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

I did stuff.

[Nick Kroll]

I'm one of the leads of that film.

[John Mulaney]

There you go.

[Nick Kroll]

But it was not originally.

[John Mulaney]

So you worked towards it.

[Nick Kroll]

I worked my way through. No, because he. So I had done.

[Dave Franco]

He.

[Nick Kroll]

I get that part sent to me. It's like a. I just know it's like a broadly northern European accent. And I meet Garth and he's like. He had seen I did a Euro guy on Kroll show, and he was like, here it is. And I'm like, great. So then I'm like, all right, you want that. You want the guy who talks like this and he's able to do this and he's, you know, like, that's the vibe. Right? But then it's a kid's movie. It's an animated, big, like, sparkling dancing Pig. So you know, so then it's like, where's the modulation on it? Right. So he goes up.

[Dave Franco]

Right.

[Nick Kroll]

And he's super, he's fun and he's going to be a good time.

[John Mulaney]

Do you ever regret your choice because of the effort that it caused?

[Nick Kroll]

So. Right. So that after a few hours of constriction is hard. It's hard. But my one physical strength I think is my ability to do long larynx work. Yes. Cause then like what I'm talking as. What's a hormone monster? Maury. Wait, can you talk hormone monster? This is sort of. See that? So that's a lower register with a scratch on the voice.

[John Mulaney]

That's unreal.

[Kristen Bell]

Arnett.

[Nick Kroll]

Yes. People think that Maury is.

[Dave Franco]

Will Arnett do it again.

[John Mulaney]

Does that drive you nuts?

[Nick Kroll]

It makes me crazy. Again. Just a little bit. Taken away from a wonderful success.

[Dave Franco]

Wow. Okay, keep going. I need other.

[Nick Kroll]

So they're. Then there's Rick, who's the hormone monster. You know who's. He was started as Coach Steve's hormone monster. Right. So he's broken down. He shouldn't be with Steven.

[Dave Franco]

I love him. He's one of my favorites.

[Nick Kroll]

Right. So he grows well, holds this.

[Dave Franco]

Drop it on the bottom of the throat a lot. And then there's a scratch.

[Nick Kroll]

Like Maury has more like Maury has

[Dave Franco]

the scratch, but he's up here. Smells. And then it's also got the lips. Cause his mouth all fucked up. This is one of my favor. Like, just watching you do that is like. It's joy at the top of the list of like. Like, honestly, this is almost as good

[John Mulaney]

to me if Trey Parker and Matt Stone were here.

[Dave Franco]

No, this is almost. But like, if you see Seth MacFarlane, is he like, like, do they like.

[John Mulaney]

And is there competitive energy at all? Like.

[Nick Kroll]

But I mean, with those guys. Not a chance. I knew Seth when I was like his assistant's friend. Who would like glom on to go to a, you know, a Family Guy party. Christmas party. I mean, I'm competitive. I mean, like, I'm more competitive career wise than I am like comedian, comedic.

[Dave Franco]

Who's like your.

[Nick Kroll]

My arch nemesis.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. Or like your North Star of like you're checking up on their career.

[Nick Kroll]

It's Steve Martin.

[Dave Franco]

Is it?

[John Mulaney]

Why is it weird? Oh, no, you're just joking.

[Nick Kroll]

We've just been. No, I just feel like we've been in competition, so obviously. What I mean is, I look at Benny because, like, obviously Selena's married and they're. And so it's awkward. Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

We can kind of feel it.

[Nick Kroll]

But I have a healthy competition with all of my friends in comedy because I also am attracted to talent. I'm attracted to the most funniest, most talented people. So I can't help but be like, I don't know. Are you guys.

[Dave Franco]

But who.

[Nick Kroll]

You guys are different, but, like, are you competitive? Are you guys competitive?

[Dave Franco]

Who are you checking on, though? Like, who's, like, everyone? Nope. Oh, really?

[John Mulaney]

But I know that I'm unnaturally competitive to a point where it's just. Shouldn't be. Like, I shouldn't.

[Dave Franco]

Sure.

[Kristen Bell]

But you're not that competitive.

[Dave Franco]

I'm only competitive.

[Kristen Bell]

You just. You make a few comments, and then you. You're not, like, seeking out.

[John Mulaney]

I'm not that competitive to win.

[Nick Kroll]

But, like, for example, for me, this is not. It's not competitive, but it's just, like, it means it's slightly fraught, which is, like, you guys mentioned, super bad. That comes out when I'm, like, In my late 20s, I'm in comedy for a number of years, and I'm not close.

[John Mulaney]

You're not rooting for it like a high school.

[Nick Kroll]

I'm not. Yeah. I'm not close. I'm in the making. I'm. I desperately want to be in a movie, and I'm not. I'm like, I've met, like, I remember I was, like, an extra in a human giant sketch, like, Aziz, Paul Shear and Rob Huebel sketch show on mtv. And like, Jonah was there, and he was in the sketch, and I was a glorified extra, which I was thrilled to get, like, a credit in a thing. And Jonah was like, yeah, I made this movie with Judd and, like, and Seth, and it's, like, it's testing really well. And I was just like, how do. How do you even do that? Right? So when it comes out, I watch it, but I watch it like, I can't watch with pure joy.

[Kristen Bell]

Did you feel like there was, like, the Judd Apatow, like, group of, like, for sure. It was like.

[John Mulaney]

And you were not in that group.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, I was. No, but I was like, I slowly weaseled my way in.

[Kristen Bell]

But you created your own path. I feel like you have your own. You do your own thing that you don't even have to be grouped into the.

[Nick Kroll]

Like, ultimately, I'm too impatient to, like, I was always too impatient to wait to be chosen.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Across the board. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, you just gotta start to move along and find your way, and then you end up being, like, someone who you're like, okay, I guess I make stuff. And other people. You know what I mean? And if you make it. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know.

[John Mulaney]

What's the name of the place that you.

[Nick Kroll]

It's so funny. Just quickly. That this is, like, a show, but it feels like. Cause we're in a house. Like, it feels like we're all having, like, an early hang where we, like, really are getting to know each other.

[Dave Franco]

Right.

[Kristen Bell]

I love it that way.

[Nick Kroll]

That's what this is all about. But what's so funny is that because it's like you guys are all kind of. I'm the guest.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

I'm, like, both, like, so excited that you guys just are interviewing me and I get to just talk. You want to ask questions. But I feel like it feels, like, polite.

[John Mulaney]

Do you think it's just because of the seating? Might almost be making it worse. The way in which you want to sit.

[Dave Franco]

You want to switch with it? Yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

Why don't you guys switch?

[Nick Kroll]

Let's see how it feels.

[Dave Franco]

Let's see how he works. I hope your legs work.

[John Mulaney]

Maybe it turned. Yeah, hold on.

[Nick Kroll]

I forgot to. Hold on. Let me get. Bring it up again.

[Dave Franco]

Hold on.

[John Mulaney]

Okay. No.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay.

[Kristen Bell]

Plus, Dave likes his face in that.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, Dave really likes this seat.

[Nick Kroll]

Sure.

[Dave Franco]

Because he. Watch, watch. This is what he does. He knows he'll fix his posture. Look, he goes like this. He fixes his posture, and then he sits back and he sits as tall as he can.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

There you go. Let's see those Amazing. What were we saying?

[John Mulaney]

What were you saying?

[Dave Franco]

He says that it makes him look so stupid.

[John Mulaney]

No, listen. List. And I think he's making a great point about tone. And I think it needn't be hang tones. We should just be hanging out. We shouldn't be asking Nick. But.

[Nick Kroll]

No, but I feel like it is.

[Dave Franco]

I like it.

[Nick Kroll]

I like it, but I'm just saying.

[Kristen Bell]

You like it? Do you think it's unique and cool?

[Dave Franco]

He's just insecure right now.

[Nick Kroll]

It does feel. I don't think I've done this version of it. Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

You want to play basketball while we're doing it?

[John Mulaney]

Yeah, just throw a ball around.

[Nick Kroll]

It's just the guys hanging out.

[John Mulaney]

Whoever's talking can have the ball. Maybe we try that. Okay. You got something to say? Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay.

[Kristen Bell]

Wow.

[Nick Kroll]

Nice one hand grip, bro.

[John Mulaney]

What, you had nothing to say after that?

[Dave Franco]

Give it back.

[Nick Kroll]

No.

[Dave Franco]

Give it back.

[Nick Kroll]

Anyone?

[Dave Franco]

I have anything to say right now.

[John Mulaney]

You got something?

[Dave Franco]

I have something to say.

[Kristen Bell]

I have nothing to say.

[Dave Franco]

It's gonna Be a quick handoff.

[John Mulaney]

I wanna say one thing before I pass it to you. I got the ball.

[Dave Franco]

Okay.

[John Mulaney]

Fuck. What's the name of the place where you do the comedy shows where you bring comedians on stage? And now Hugo.

[Dave Franco]

What? Now he's fixing it. What's going on?

[Nick Kroll]

Well, don't I. Well, you're wearing a sweatshirt, so you're, like, locked into whatever is happening, right?

[Dave Franco]

Do you want me to, like, tuck in the back of you or something? Is your, like, butt crack, Sean, what's happening?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, my butt crack is. I'm trying to wipe my butt crack on your thing, so I need to re. Right now my T shirt's getting in the way. I'm trying to leave my little scent on your fucking couch so you never forget.

[John Mulaney]

Well, I just want to say one thing.

[Dave Franco]

What do you want to say as

[John Mulaney]

a competitive Jewish comedian?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. I.

[Dave Franco]

You're mad.

[John Mulaney]

What?

[Dave Franco]

You're mad he didn't invite you on the Largo.

[John Mulaney]

He did invite me.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[John Mulaney]

I was there. No, I'm thrilled. I think. Of course I don't want to.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, the invitation is wide open.

[John Mulaney]

I was just there as a consumer, you know. First off, I want you to know I think you're an absolute pillar of the comedy landscape in so many different ways. Does that pillar even go? And I remember going there that night and just feeling so happy to be there.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, great.

[John Mulaney]

And so much like you brought it all to be. And there was, like. I just felt the joy of what I know comedy is supposed to be. And I looked at you that night and I said, I'm never gonna feel an ounce of competitive energy towards this man because he's so pure and I'm. I like him so much.

[Nick Kroll]

That's so nice. It was so nice.

[John Mulaney]

And Albenne can say whatever his dumb little dick joke comment is.

[Nick Kroll]

That's so kind of you. Thank you. I appreciate that.

[Dave Franco]

I do have a question.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

What do you feel like now in your career when you just, like, bomb?

[John Mulaney]

He doesn't. He's too funny.

[Dave Franco]

I've seen him do a show that's, like, spectacular. Then I've seen him do a show where it was, like, really good coming

[John Mulaney]

off of what I said on that. This episode is sponsored by Better Help, which is great.

[Kristen Bell]

I texted my therapist today. I just thought to myself, why am I trying to figure it all out?

[John Mulaney]

It's good to have help. And by the way, you can tell me anything, but it's probably stuff we've already talked about.

[Kristen Bell]

You already know about all of It. But I think she's really great at helping me talk through it. And also it's better probably to like outsource some of it so you don't take that burden.

[John Mulaney]

But I'm happy to sign up and get 10% [e-mail] fks that's BetterHelp. H E L P

[Kristen Bell]

Connor, I actually feel like you are a really good

[John Mulaney]

person to go to therapy.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[John Mulaney]

Why don't I get on BetterHelp and check it out. Let's work together to improve. And I love you.

[Kristen Bell]

I love you too. Mushy.

[John Mulaney]

Tell me about Canva.

[Dave Franco]

You know what? I am going to tell you something about Canva because I have a date coming up and I'm going to cook a whole meal. But what I really want to do is have like the sweetest, like menu and I'm gonna design it on Canva. Makes it so easy because I'm cooking all freaking day. I don't even know if I can use curse word. But this is real life and this is what happens.

[John Mulaney]

Canva gets them going and.

[Dave Franco]

And I'm gonna, I'm gonna make. I'm gonna be making food.

[Kristen Bell]

So what is the theme of.

[Dave Franco]

What's the theme of the Japanese? And I need like a flyer. You can give it. It's so easy. You can give it just like very simple tasks and then it makes you a whole thing.

[John Mulaney]

Do you write like appetizer? And then it's like the Selena lobster. Way better.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, it's gonna be amazing.

[John Mulaney]

Have you thought of the ideas?

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, I've thought a lot of them. But with Canva, it makes design easy for anyone. Does it idea generate with built in AI that lets you remove, generate and animate content in just a click. Start Designing [e-mail] Design now was big mouth like based on experiences you had as like a kid or like loosely?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, yeah. A bunch of the beginning stuff was

[Dave Franco]

so like, were you like, was like I was pants.

[Nick Kroll]

Like I was pants in like seventh grade in front of my high school. It was like before you, like. And I had not hit puberty.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Formative. Formative experience. Full pants.

[Dave Franco]

And they saw it was just the girl.

[Nick Kroll]

It was obviously I've talked about this on stage, but it's like just the girl, the girl who had a crush on for like all of elementary school was like sitting like watching TV on the ground and she was alone and it was like one of the first boy and girl. I just remember it was like one of the first boy and girl parties. Like, where everyone. Everyone was getting together. It was like, you know, and the girl sitting in there was, like, the girl who had a crush on literally all through elementary school. And the girl who came up and pantsed me was a year above me. And. But she. It was even more complicated. Cause she let me, like, feel her up, like, at some point.

[Kristen Bell]

Fourth grade.

[Nick Kroll]

No, no, no. Sixth, Seventh. Seventh grade.

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, okay.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah, keep going.

[Nick Kroll]

So we. And so then it was a real. Yeah, so it was. And I had not hit puberty at

[John Mulaney]

pass in front of.

[Dave Franco]

How many people saw it, really?

[Nick Kroll]

Honestly, just my crush saw it. The rest of the room was behind it. Yeah. So they saw me. They saw my cheeks. So I had a second to clench.

[Dave Franco]

Did you have good cheeks?

[Kristen Bell]

When you say you have.

[Nick Kroll]

I wish it were a cheek conversation. It would have been much better.

[Kristen Bell]

When you haven't hit puberty, your balls.

[Dave Franco]

No. Your dick is teeny.

[Nick Kroll]

Your dick's smaller, and your balls haven't really dropped. I mean, by 13, you've got balls, but they're not really your balls.

[Dave Franco]

I mean, it's obvious. Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[John Mulaney]

I don't think my actual soft dick has ever grown. It feels the exact.

[Nick Kroll]

Exact same size.

[John Mulaney]

Exact same. The boner has grown.

[Nick Kroll]

Do you guys like it when people have different colored dicks than the rest of their body?

[Dave Franco]

Mine.

[John Mulaney]

I don't.

[Dave Franco]

I kind of have, like.

[Nick Kroll]

I can see your dick being slightly different color.

[Dave Franco]

No, I got. My dick's tanner than my body.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

What were you talking about before?

[John Mulaney]

Oh, my soft dick.

[Dave Franco]

Oh, yeah. His dick is actually a triangle.

[Kristen Bell]

It is not.

[Dave Franco]

Yes, it is.

[Kristen Bell]

I drew it the other. I'll draw it right now.

[John Mulaney]

No, come on. Too much.

[Dave Franco]

He has a triangle.

[Nick Kroll]

I would love at some point. It doesn't have to be today. I would love to see a drawing of his dick at some point. Whenever the time is right.

[Dave Franco]

He has a triangle penis.

[Nick Kroll]

What do you think?

[Kristen Bell]

Give me the chalkboard.

[Dave Franco]

The penis is a full triangle.

[Kristen Bell]

That's a chalkboard.

[Nick Kroll]

The chalkboard. Is that what the penis looks like? Is it like an upside down heart?

[John Mulaney]

Kind of.

[Kristen Bell]

It's so sweet.

[John Mulaney]

Where's the chalk?

[Kristen Bell]

In the thing in the cupboard. I really am good at drawing it. I draw it for the doctor, by the way.

[John Mulaney]

This is my soft end.

[Kristen Bell]

It's like, this isn't a part of it.

[John Mulaney]

Okay.

[Nick Kroll]

But this part is like, it gets. It starts and it comes wider and then comes back.

[John Mulaney]

What is it?

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, what are you.

[Dave Franco]

Okay.

[John Mulaney]

That's huge. Well, scale it.

[Nick Kroll]

Scale it.

[John Mulaney]

That looks like my boner.

[Dave Franco]

No.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[John Mulaney]

Like, to Scale.

[Dave Franco]

His dick looks exactly like.

[Kristen Bell]

You can wipe off here.

[John Mulaney]

You know what it looks like? I'll show you.

[Dave Franco]

His dick literally looks like this. And then these are his balls. And it looks almost like a nose.

[John Mulaney]

Looks like a manatee.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay, sure, sure.

[John Mulaney]

Smallest manatee.

[Dave Franco]

Doesn't this look like your dick?

[Kristen Bell]

No. It's so welcoming. Not that you care.

[Nick Kroll]

I do. I very much do. He named himself. That's an important part of his identity.

[Kristen Bell]

I just thought we can only talk about dicks first.

[Dave Franco]

I want to know about your dick.

[Nick Kroll]

So this is the hang zone out here. Would your cock. How would your cock fit into this spiderweb up here?

[Dave Franco]

Not very well.

[John Mulaney]

It feels like this area's the compound.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay, got it.

[John Mulaney]

You know what I mean?

[Nick Kroll]

Copy that.

[Dave Franco]

So, you know, me and Dave always talk about this. Cause like, for him, his show was so freeing because he could talk about, you know, his dick for the first time. He could. Like. Did you, even though yours was animated, did you have that feeling with Big Mouth?

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, for sure. Very much so. And what I thought. What I really. I mean, I love the show.

[John Mulaney]

Thank you.

[Nick Kroll]

I love the show.

[Dave Franco]

I love your show.

[Nick Kroll]

Thank you.

[Dave Franco]

Do you like airplanes?

[Nick Kroll]

I love them. I love the current politics of the men who made Airplane. What I liked about. I mean, very many things about the show. But you get by the end of season one, where you meet and kill your 13 year old self, basically, right. Is like a really impressive leap to get to because at that moment in the show, it took Big Mouth. I'd say, like, the end of season three is about anxiety. And I meet my future self, Nick Starr, and we, like, you know, I go to battle with him about, like my issues as an adult of intimacy, of vulnerability, all those things. Right. I was. I do feel bad because I did tell the paparazzi that I was coming here.

[Dave Franco]

So.

[John Mulaney]

Aerial shots.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, so these were all aerial cameras all over top, trying to get the fucking.

[Dave Franco]

They literally at my wedge.

[Nick Kroll]

I bet during their vowels, I fucking tried to.

[John Mulaney]

Right when their vows started silent and just heard like.

[Dave Franco]

And they were like.

[Nick Kroll]

And they were like.

[Dave Franco]

And they were like out there. And they were trying to get pictures.

[Nick Kroll]

Did they get a shot?

[Dave Franco]

No, we had a special thing.

[Nick Kroll]

Like you had a force field. You had a famous force field on top of the whole place, we had something.

[Kristen Bell]

Tempted.

[Dave Franco]

You want to go inside? I didn't realize Armageddon was happening.

[Kristen Bell]

Why don't we sit on the couch?

[Dave Franco]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Why don't we move on to couches?

[John Mulaney]

You know, there's plenty of options.

[Nick Kroll]

How much do you use the green egg? Do you?

[Dave Franco]

I love the green eg.

[Nick Kroll]

I know, but do you guys use it or no? Or no.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. Do you. Do you cook a lot?

[John Mulaney]

All this chitchat about food makes me really want to eat a $7 box feast from KFC. Am I here selling out? I don't think so. Because I love this box. I'm not even kidding. You can tell how serious I am. You can look in my eyes and you know how much I love this box. It's the perfect amount of food. It's $7. It's got nuggets, it's got fries, it's got a snacker. I don't know what more you would want. It's all the items I would want in life in one box. A great price. So I'm thrilled to be doing this right now. I'd be doing this if you were here, if you weren't here. I can profit off of this and eat and still be hanging out. I think speaks to what we're doing here. So thank you for your time.

[Nick Kroll]

And if it. Yeah, but. And like, I think the difference is what people are so scared of, comedy wise in that way is like the direct interaction of like getting on stage. I've prepared this or this is who I am. I'm now delivering it to you and you either are gonna laugh out loud or not like it. Right? Whereas a song, like you could go do a big fucking song with like, you know, Rihanna, who I think is beautiful, is so beautiful both inside and out. And I'm happily married, but I'm just so happy. I'm so happy for Rihanna.

[Dave Franco]

You wanna see his legs?

[Nick Kroll]

I'll show you my legs. I'll show you my dry legs. But if the song you make Rihanna doesn't work, it just doesn't just. Nobody really plays that track only.

[John Mulaney]

But it impacts the. It's like a movie bombing.

[Nick Kroll]

It's like a movie bombing. And when I'm the artist versus like a joke on the night, like, I mean, have you guys performed live and bont like your shit doesn't play right that night?

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was on stage in front of like 20,000 people and I accidentally, and it was completely my fault, pulled out like the main chord and like my computer shut down. And on stage you hear and it shuts down and then I have to wait and I'm like sitting there and everyone's like, you're like hearing noise and I'm like, I'm like talking to the guy and then they get it back and I have to turn my computer on through the speakers and it's like in front of like 20,000 people. And it was. Yeah, it was.

[Nick Kroll]

Do you remember what song you played out of that?

[Dave Franco]

No, but I do remember a story.

[Nick Kroll]

Are you a hero at the end of the story, though? Do you put on the music and does everybody. Yeah, of course.

[Dave Franco]

But wait, check.

[Kristen Bell]

It's not a bomb.

[Dave Franco]

Do I.

[John Mulaney]

Yes, that's a technical issue.

[Kristen Bell]

It's just like a funny little mishap during your.

[John Mulaney]

That's a tech issue.

[Kristen Bell]

Stadium tour.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

You didn't even do anything wrong.

[John Mulaney]

Everyone knows. Not to blame you.

[Nick Kroll]

More of an arena than a Stadium.

[John Mulaney]

No.

[Dave Franco]

20,000 years. It was terrible.

[Nick Kroll]

Smaller.

[Dave Franco]

Wait, I have a question. I'd like to know your top.

[Kristen Bell]

He thinks of the question most.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, no, I already knew it.

[Nick Kroll]

But I do feel like that's how he's like, I got a question. And then he's like, what's the question? It's like you're like, I'm writing a song. And then like. And makes your brain be like, time to write a song.

[Dave Franco]

I knew the question. I was deciding whether I was gonna have you do three or one. And then I said, three will be way too long. And then I was deciding the question was like your most embarrassing child story. And then I was like, fuck, I'm gonna. Should I say accept that? Besides that one from. I was figuring out how I was gonna phrase it.

[Kristen Bell]

I think you had that sort of second guessing in your head.

[Dave Franco]

Well, no, I was just trying to figure out the best thing.

[Kristen Bell]

A lot happened.

[John Mulaney]

There's a lot.

[Nick Kroll]

It's a lot of inclinations.

[Dave Franco]

So my final question is, what is your most embarrassing story? Not counting if that one from earlier, showing your baby penis to a young woman. The most embarrassing childhood trauma story. You fucking piece of shit. Kristin.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, she gets the ball now. What if I successfully just said your worst, most embarrassing childhood story?

[John Mulaney]

I would love that.

[Dave Franco]

Guess you also wore diapers until you were 14?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. Yeah, she did. You wore diapers at night?

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, yeah. Bedwetting.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah. Uresis.

[Nick Kroll]

Uresis. How were sleepovers? How were sleepovers?

[Kristen Bell]

You know what? I'm so happy that you asked. Cause no one's asked me that.

[John Mulaney]

How were they?

[Kristen Bell]

I sat everybody down and I told them that I wore pull ups.

[Nick Kroll]

I every few years, will randomly, for no real reason, pee in my sleep. A little bit. A little bit. I hear that like a month ago I was dreaming about peeing. Like I just really needed to pee. And I ended up how Much like. I mean, let's say I soaked through a couple mattresses.

[Kristen Bell]

I'm having so much fun.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, you must have some guests where you're fucking pulling teeth.

[John Mulaney]

It's not really. But they're not. You're just so like. It's so nice. It's rare that someone has so funny, has the potential to make us laugh the whole time.

[Nick Kroll]

Look, we all have.

[Kristen Bell]

That's what I'm saying. Everything you say, even if you're not trying to be funny, I feel like you just followed up with like a funny. It's so entertaining.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, I'm so fearful of. No, that's not true.

[Kristen Bell]

What of not being liked?

[Nick Kroll]

Of not being liked or not being funny? I'm fearful of not being liked. I'm not one of the biggest fears. Well, I think, honestly, Big Mouth did spend so much time talking through fear and anxiety. I think when I. So when we were making. This is going back to when you kill yourself, your 13 year old self. Like whoever this kid was. It took us till the end of season three to have my Nick Starr come into contact with Nick Birch, to like find some resolution and to like try to kill like. But I would say this. The thing is you can't kill that person. You can't kill that shadow because if you kill it, it'll just find another way to come up. So you have to figure out how to come to peace and embrace that person or that thing. Who you were, who you don't. Doesn't feel like true to who you are anymore because we carry all that shit. You carry all of your anxiety and your depression and. And all of those things with you wherever you go.

[Kristen Bell]

Do you struggle with anxiety like as an adult man?

[Nick Kroll]

No, not really.

[John Mulaney]

Anxiety's never as like the dark common.

[Kristen Bell]

No, you don't have that energy at all.

[Nick Kroll]

I don't. I don't really. I think I'm happy. Not really. But you know, don't tell my family.

[Kristen Bell]

There's

[Nick Kroll]

no but. I exist. But it's a difference between me and my partner, which is like I exist in a pretty actually. Like I can be like a buoyant. I don't go super high. I don't go super low. Yeah, I live in a. In a pretty. I live in a pretty. I modulate to play somewhere in the middle most of the time.

[Kristen Bell]

You don't even go to the angry parts. You don't even.

[Nick Kroll]

I will. I do now. Both healthy and not healthy. Like as you have a family, like I've, you know, like new anger has showed up in me that I didn't know was there.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. Talk to me about the anger.

[Nick Kroll]

I think it's like I have a son who looks so much like me who I can't in actuality when I think about myself in my past, I can't entirely separate the picture or like when I'm. Yeah. Of who he is and who I was in some weird way. So as he learns how to navigate the world, I can get angry with him and I'm realizing on some level I'm just getting angry with myself. Right.

[Kristen Bell]

Is it like the expectation or the frustration?

[Nick Kroll]

Yes, the expectation of how one moves through the world.

[John Mulaney]

He's just being.

[Nick Kroll]

Cause he's just being like a fucking four year old kid. But I'm still like.

[Kristen Bell]

I feel like that's. I imagine like if I was to have a daughter that I would have. I think when it's like a son or a daughter and you are whatever you are, you project some sort of like expectation or I think it can

[Nick Kroll]

be gendered and it's probably more specifically gendered in that way. But I also think when you have children you do just like.

[John Mulaney]

And they're representing what you think and

[Nick Kroll]

they are representing who you are.

[John Mulaney]

But they're only four so they can't. Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

So they don't fucking know, man. Literally. I mean in a fun way. Not a fun way, but like we opened the oven today and like a pair of my prescription sunglasses have been cooked in there.

[John Mulaney]

That is fun. That's very fun.

[Kristen Bell]

That's the right way to put them in there.

[Nick Kroll]

That on that I'm like, no, Nick

[Dave Franco]

put him in there. Blamed him on his head. You framed him.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, yeah, I made my. I framed him.

[John Mulaney]

Do you do a lot of voices with him to like play, like when you play. What's it called? What's it called? Playing. Not. No, no.

[Nick Kroll]

What is it called when you interact with a child in a light hearted manner? Reading when you read them. When I'm hanging. I do voices. When I'm.

[John Mulaney]

When you're like making up scenarios together.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, yeah. Is it playing all the time?

[Kristen Bell]

Make believe?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, playing make believe. My kid. I do think like we all pass on. I am like he engages in the world, I think in like a.

[Dave Franco]

Can he do the voices too?

[Nick Kroll]

He can start to do voices.

[Dave Franco]

Have you ever done one of the voices while you're like having sex?

[Nick Kroll]

I mean, huh. Maybe sometimes the hormone monster, you know, like there is some.

[John Mulaney]

You're not being the hormone monster. You're just getting a little gritty as Nick.

[Nick Kroll]

Sure, sure, sure. I'm having fun.

[Dave Franco]

No, he's having fun.

[Kristen Bell]

Are you fully clothed?

[Nick Kroll]

Always when I have sex, yeah, I'm always fully clothed. I'm modern Orthodox. That's what modern Orthodox Jewish is, like, convincing thing.

[Kristen Bell]

I thought maybe, maybe he, you know.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. I mean, I will, like.

[Dave Franco]

Wait, you've picked the wrong time before to do the voices.

[Nick Kroll]

Whenever I. As soon as I finish having sex, I. Whether my partner is done or not. No, if I have sex and like, we're, you know. You know, lying post Covid.

[Kristen Bell]

But fully.

[Nick Kroll]

Fully clothed.

[John Mulaney]

Fully clothed.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, fully clothed in a three panting. You know, we're like, lying there. Pulse coital.

[Dave Franco]

You got one right there.

[Nick Kroll]

The four of us have all just absolutely made love. Would you ever, like, do that on the podcast? Have four people make love, make love to each other, fuck each other during the podcast?

[Kristen Bell]

I'm sure there's podcasts.

[John Mulaney]

I don't think this is a podcast on porn.

[Dave Franco]

Wait, so what did you say?

[Nick Kroll]

You said, this is an experience.

[Dave Franco]

You did nothing.

[Nick Kroll]

That was amazing.

[Kristen Bell]

You did no role playing, though. You have a big thing about my favorite.

[John Mulaney]

Yes, but do you do that?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, exactly.

[John Mulaney]

You're not, like, engaging in, like.

[Nick Kroll]

No. Well, that is an example of being on, like. I don't do my voices really for, like, my. I think my wife would love for me to do a little more, like, joking around and being a little more funny. Cause sometimes. Because we do just. No, no, no.

[John Mulaney]

In life.

[Nick Kroll]

In life.

[Dave Franco]

What do you think she wants more of in sex?

[Nick Kroll]

She wants more. I can't do Benny's voice. But that's.

[Dave Franco]

You can't do my voice?

[Kristen Bell]

I thought you could do his voice.

[Nick Kroll]

I can't do. I can't do your voice.

[Dave Franco]

I have the easiest voice.

[Nick Kroll]

I have the easiest voice to do.

[Dave Franco]

My voice is almost like yours. My voice is almost like yours.

[Nick Kroll]

That's pretty good.

[John Mulaney]

With any amount of effort, you would be able to figure him out easily.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, I have, like, the easiest voice to do.

[John Mulaney]

No, you don't have an easy voice. But he's just a guy.

[Dave Franco]

Well, but.

[Nick Kroll]

No, but it is. But it is, like, it is not a harder one to me and Tyler,

[Dave Franco]

the creator have, like, a very similar voice.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, interesting.

[Dave Franco]

I get it all.

[Kristen Bell]

I heard it right when you said that.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. What? Yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, sure, sure. He's just like a little bit more like this.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Franco]

He just kind of talks like this.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

Could you do Kristen's voice right now?

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, Can I do your voice?

[Kristen Bell]

Can you do my Voice.

[Dave Franco]

You can't do a voice like that.

[Nick Kroll]

You want me to do Kristen?

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, do it.

[Nick Kroll]

I used to piss myself in Michigan.

[Dave Franco]

Was Big Mouth always gonna be in your head animated, or did you want it to be live action?

[Nick Kroll]

I wanted to live action. Kids jerking off. No, it was built always to be an. It was always built to be animated so that we can tell more nuanced, deeper stories about puberty, sexual development, adolescence. Because it's animated and because. So you're not. It's not kids, and it's adults voicing the kids. So you can get away with more. You can get away with more and really dig in on a level that would be hard in a live action to really. But then. Yeah. And pen15 does an amazing job of it. Yeah, I love that. But there you kind of always know that those women are adults playing those girls. So, like, it's a version of it, but it's so incredibly well done.

[Kristen Bell]

You would be against kids jerking off, like, in.

[Nick Kroll]

No, I mean, I don't know what I would be. But, like, this is what's fucking happening. Kids are jerking off. You know what I mean? So to not acknowledge it is.

[Dave Franco]

You know, me and Dave. Do you know me and Dave used to actually get together to watch. Do you remember that? The first few seasons of the Big Mouth.

[Nick Kroll]

That's not what I thought you were gonna say.

[Dave Franco]

We used to get together and blow each. No, we used to get together to watch Big Mouth.

[Nick Kroll]

Thank you.

[Dave Franco]

And I. And, like, I really, like, I hope

[Nick Kroll]

that's the last really good thing I do. I hope it's.

[Kristen Bell]

I believed it.

[Nick Kroll]

I saw it, but I would have. I do feel like when it ended, I was like. There was a part of me that's like, I don't know if I'll ever get to do something that worked like this. I liked it. And if that is it, if that's, like, the most culturally thing I do, then, like, then I'm so proud that I made it.

[John Mulaney]

It's a championship ring.

[Nick Kroll]

Thank you.

[Dave Franco]

I saw a part of the thing. Oh, sorry.

[Kristen Bell]

Do you just feel like you set the bar so high, so now it's just, like, to even accomplish that again is too.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, I think we got lucky being on Netflix. We were like, the 33rd or 34th show on Netflix.

[Dave Franco]

Oh, wow.

[Nick Kroll]

And so we were so early, and there was no other streaming services, so when we got to make it, we got to one. They were letting us do whatever we wanted.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

And also, there wasn't a lot of stuff on. So, like, if A show like that came out, you guys knew about it, and you could all watch it and all talk about it. That is now. We premiered in, like, 2017.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Or 2018. Well, totally. So it's different. So, like, the ability to have that impact musically, you can happen. It's still harder. It's so much harder.

[John Mulaney]

It's way easier in 2018. Musically.

[Nick Kroll]

Musically, way easier. And so, like, there it might have been, like, as you guys know, and with all the stuff we make, like, it's harder to get that attention. So there's a world where that never comes.

[John Mulaney]

You know what I mean?

[Nick Kroll]

I mean, the experience of get a new shirt. I know. It's really. It's inching up. Well, I wore. Like, I wasn't again. This is like, what happens when you have children is like, normally I would have, like, come to do this, and it would have, like, I would have been able to really, like, pick out a cool outfit, think about what I was gonna wear, and do it like, right. You know what I mean? Like. No, exactly. No, I. I feel ultimately like I'm. I'm look like a million bucks.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

But it's. You know what I mean?

[Kristen Bell]

I think. I think your coat's cool.

[Nick Kroll]

The coat is cool. But it's like. But I didn't have time to really, like, think. Like, I would have. I would have spent more time on

[John Mulaney]

the, like, gaming it out.

[Kristen Bell]

What would you have changed?

[Nick Kroll]

I would have changed a longer shirt. This is like, these are.

[Kristen Bell]

You care about fashion, huh?

[Nick Kroll]

I care. Yeah. I care about. I care about. I do care about fashion. I care very much about fashion. I went to a fashion show. I went to. My wife got invited to go to the Hermes show, and we went this year for the first and only. My only.

[John Mulaney]

What was it like?

[Nick Kroll]

It was so cool.

[Kristen Bell]

You have to wear Hermes to the show.

[Nick Kroll]

They lent me stuff to wear.

[John Mulaney]

You sit there, the people are walking, they're wearing outfits.

[Nick Kroll]

I was, like, right across from Anna Wintour.

[Kristen Bell]

Really?

[John Mulaney]

What's cool about it?

[Nick Kroll]

Front.

[John Mulaney]

That is, like, you, like, seeing the people wear clothing and walk around.

[Nick Kroll]

It was fascinating to watch being. We went to the factory, and we got to, like, look at the bags being made and that Hermes is like. I mean, that's the thing is, like,

[Kristen Bell]

Hermes is, like, 40, 50, $100,000 bags.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. And they're making their bags by hand, one at a time. Like, it was. It was really interesting to see the vocation of it. Like, actually watch these, like, people craft these, like, beautiful things.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

So then the show, the next Day. Because I've never been to it. It's just a new kind of a show. It's like when you go, like, where you're just like, oh, this is how.

[Dave Franco]

You know.

[Nick Kroll]

So, like, it's like, you know, there's sand on the floor and the colors and, like, what they've decided the lighting is and, like, the music. And then these models come out, and they're very serious. These models were very serious about what they were doing.

[John Mulaney]

Yes, they should be.

[Nick Kroll]

They were told to be very serious.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, there's, like, themes, and there's like, a whole creative.

[Nick Kroll]

But also, like, it was, like, 15 minutes and it's over, and you're like, whoa, this is what this is. Do you go to. You've been to shows, right?

[Dave Franco]

I've been. I find it to be, like. But I think insane. I was, like, so crazy.

[Nick Kroll]

Going to Hermes was like. It's so specific and kind of like a little, like, not a.

[Kristen Bell]

Did you get anything? They give you anything for free.

[Nick Kroll]

They don't give nothing. Nobody.

[Dave Franco]

Chuck, do you like summer can.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah. Favorite part of life.

[Dave Franco]

It was one of my favorite times in my entire life, and I just reconnected with a few of our friends that I hadn't connected with. Meeting up and renting a home on Airbnb and just, like, doing a whole Color wars thing and having, like, the best time.

[John Mulaney]

Airbnb. Something that I haven't really spoken about how Airbnb connected us early on in our relationship.

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, yeah.

[John Mulaney]

If you hadn't booked that home on Airbnb's platform that day, you wouldn't have given me that ride home. We wouldn't have connected. Maybe at the length. I think we would have connected anyways.

[Kristen Bell]

But no, it was a gift. It was a gift. Airbnb connected us because I got to give you the ride home, and I got to spend extra time with you, and I got to know you.

[Dave Franco]

We respect you.

[Kristen Bell]

We love you Airbnb.

[John Mulaney]

We love Airbnb. And we love you. KFC box feast.

[Kristen Bell]

Why don't we each pick one? Ah.

[Dave Franco]

I'm going 11.

[John Mulaney]

And I'm going nuggets.

[Dave Franco]

Oh, my God.

[John Mulaney]

You know, this is only $7.

[Kristen Bell]

You know this is only 9.

[Dave Franco]

This one, 11. Look at this. Can you see how thick this sandwich is? Look at this sandwich.

[Kristen Bell]

Why do you think KFC is giving away chicken for free?

[Dave Franco]

Oh, my God.

[John Mulaney]

Not for free, but for cheap.

[Dave Franco]

Ladies, something happened with the Colonel, but I think it might be on purpose, out of the goodness of his heart,

[John Mulaney]

you know, that my family gave The Colonel. His first job in America.

[Nick Kroll]

What he did. Really?

[John Mulaney]

I'm making it up. I don't know the Colonel.

[Dave Franco]

Time to feast. Prices and participation may vary. Tax, tip and extra. Fees extra.

[John Mulaney]

No. And fees extra.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh.

[Dave Franco]

Tax, tip and fees extra.

[John Mulaney]

As a man who's been the guy in charge of the whole production versus a guy who's gun for hire coming out there. Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

Seems like a little business question.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. Yeah, right, sure. Why else are we here?

[John Mulaney]

Like, do you get anxiety about, like, kind of not having the control, or is it, like, liberating?

[Nick Kroll]

I find it liberating.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

I think it's. Yes. I love going to do someone else's thing until I think it's being poorly produced and then I become at least inwardly resentful, upset. Or I make my judgments and I learn from them as to how. When it is my turn again, how to do it in a way that I think is better. Or learn how to do it better based on something going well.

[John Mulaney]

Yes.

[Nick Kroll]

So. But when it's. When it goes well and it's a delight, it's like to release control is wonderful. How do you do with it?

[John Mulaney]

I've never done it.

[Kristen Bell]

I can't even do it.

[Dave Franco]

You've never done it?

[John Mulaney]

No, I think I can do it.

[Nick Kroll]

But are you gonna do something where it's not your. Where you just get to be in it?

[John Mulaney]

Well, somebody asked me to be in something.

[Kristen Bell]

That's not true.

[John Mulaney]

No, I get asked. I turned on everything. I turned on everything. But I wouldn't turn down, like, Paul Thomas Anderson coming to me. But. Yeah, but I don't know. A part of me thinks it would be the most liberating thing. The other part of me thinks I'd be in hell.

[Nick Kroll]

It just depends on whose thing it is and what it is and how it's working. So, like, I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, it all just depends on, like, yeah, PTA or any of those people.

[John Mulaney]

But if you came to me and he said, hey, you're gonna play a New Zealander, like, I had to become this totally different character, I'd be a little.

[Dave Franco]

You would do it.

[John Mulaney]

Of course.

[Nick Kroll]

You'd be scared.

[John Mulaney]

I'd look in the mirror and I'd have to practice for a few days before even remotely responding to the.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, interesting.

[Dave Franco]

I don't think you'd have to turn it down.

[Nick Kroll]

Do you guys get, like, really short and tough with each other when you're working?

[Dave Franco]

Oh, yes, yes. But there's no beef at all. But, yeah. Oh, we talk to each other like trash when we're working.

[John Mulaney]

He thinks I'm, like, so over the top and caring because I care about details.

[Nick Kroll]

So you'll bicker with each other, but inside of that, you're never worried about the state of your friendship.

[John Mulaney]

There was only one spat that, like, where the, like, it felt like of a different level.

[Dave Franco]

It did.

[Nick Kroll]

I remember just 100 tonight.

[John Mulaney]

This is what it was.

[Nick Kroll]

This is what it was.

[Dave Franco]

And then I'm gonna tell you the.

[John Mulaney]

It was in New York City and we were like, working at like, 8pm

[Dave Franco]

I don't remember this one.

[John Mulaney]

And I was, like, complaining about, like, you know, I just wanted to turn over more stones. I don't even know, let's say it's a hi hat or something. And he basically was. And I was just like. I basically had had enough. And I was just like, you know, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to care to the point where, like, I'm, like, gonna be selective about the thing and this thing that matters so much to me. And then you said something like, do you know how rare it is for me to even be working at this hour? And then in my mind, I thought, it's 8 o' clock at night. But then I also think there probably is. What I do take for granted with him is that he is like the LeBron James of music producing. I can't possibly see him that way, even though I know he is statistically, analytically. Like, when I met him, like, the first conversation was like, I don't see the value you could possibly bring to the table. And like, then we became best friends. And, like, I see him totally as like, my Jewish best friend that I, like, grew up with, even though I didn't.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah.

[John Mulaney]

And then even though I wanted to be, like, inside, like, get a grip, it's 8pm Sure. I know there's probably. He's kind of graduated to the point where there probably is truth, where he no longer works evenings.

[Nick Kroll]

Do you not. Do you work during the day? Because I always thought music guys, like, worked all night.

[John Mulaney]

It was earlier than midnight.

[Dave Franco]

It was earlier than midnight. It was something like 9:30.

[John Mulaney]

That's right.

[Dave Franco]

And it was. And it was like. And I try not to work. Like, I try to have work, life, balance. I thought he was talking about the only time we ever got in a real fight was we had just gotten back from Coachella and he was about to leave, and he was so tired. He was the most tired he's ever been. And he was getting out of My car. And he was grabbing stuff, and I got behind him, and I, like, made a joke and, like, humped him. And when I humped him, he hit his shin. My shin.

[John Mulaney]

My shin lay on the car, and he went.

[Dave Franco]

He went, chuck. And he got so mad, and he got so angry at me. And then he went inside and didn't say anything to me. And then we called each other about 10 minutes later, and we're laughing.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

What type of pubes do you have?

[Nick Kroll]

I dyed them like, I guess, like Sugar Ray Blonde.

[Dave Franco]

You don't dye them at all? I spike them and you don't spike them either.

[Nick Kroll]

I perm them.

[Dave Franco]

Nope.

[Nick Kroll]

That's a nice middle part. Wave. I do, like, a Farrah Fawcett wave.

[Dave Franco]

What do I think he has right now? You're not like, Dave. Dave is shaved to the bone. Like, razor shaved.

[Nick Kroll]

Like, no. Nothing.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. He looks like a child. Like a child. I love it. I think.

[John Mulaney]

Always adds value. Length. That makes it look bigger.

[Nick Kroll]

Yeah, it makes it look bigger and

[Dave Franco]

better to his green chick.

[John Mulaney]

And my dick grows hair all the way up the shaft.

[Nick Kroll]

Sure.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. No, no, his dick.

[Nick Kroll]

Because you got balls on your dick.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, he's got balls.

[Nick Kroll]

You got balls on your shaft.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Wow. So that stayed.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Wow. So that's, like, for hair. If you ever have hair issues.

[John Mulaney]

I wonder if my dick will bald. I hope it does.

[Nick Kroll]

Or you could transfer some of that bald to your top of your head, and you'll be able to grow hair.

[Kristen Bell]

You don't shave your dick every day.

[John Mulaney]

I.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, but are you. Do you shave your. Shave.

[John Mulaney]

You've heard me say to you, like, oh, I don't think we should hook up tonight. Cause I haven't shaved my dick.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah. But. Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

Okay, everyone. Closing statements. Then everyone gets to ask one last question.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay.

[Dave Franco]

Okay. Kristen, you ask first.

[Nick Kroll]

Do I get to ask a question, too?

[Dave Franco]

Yeah, you can ask. You want to ask each of us first?

[John Mulaney]

Maybe that's how it ends.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, you ask the questions. You go around the room.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay, I'll go around the room. If I came to you with, like, a song that I really wanted to make, would you. Would you, like, give me, like, a couple days in the studio?

[Dave Franco]

I would be very interested.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay.

[Dave Franco]

I already. But I would. You know, you're kind of stepping on his toes a little bit.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, we would make it completely different. He's already said out loud. We have it on camera. He doesn't have experience jealousy with me. It's pure. It's pure love and light.

[Dave Franco]

I'd like to hear all about it.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay. Okay. Okay, great. So that's my question for you.

[Dave Franco]

Okay. More like a business opportunity.

[Nick Kroll]

Well, I assume that it's not a. I mean, it's a business proposition. It's not a proposition. Cause I just. I just want to get in there with you and play in that sandbox. Yeah.

[Dave Franco]

Yeah. What proposition do you have for Dave?

[Nick Kroll]

What are you jerking off to these days?

[John Mulaney]

Pornhub.com. that's the start.

[Nick Kroll]

This is a great.

[John Mulaney]

By the way, actually, you know what I'm saying, You love jerking off too.

[Kristen Bell]

I have Xhamster.

[Dave Franco]

No X videos is better.

[John Mulaney]

Since 2020, I like XHamster. I created an email thread, subject line porn, and anytime I bump into a porn that stands out to me as

[Nick Kroll]

you send it to yourself.

[John Mulaney]

So I have this kind of. What I will do typically is I will go on pornhub.com, i will analyze the first page because there's nothing better than a new thing to add to my thread.

[Nick Kroll]

Sure.

[John Mulaney]

But then I won't waste all the time because this thread is like, it's so vast and it's got so much to. And even if I know that I've jerked off to this one like two nights ago, I know that the related videos will still take me down like a more efficient path. Sure. So the answer isn't to what? I usually jerk off to like high res porn with like, tasteful, like, I like it to look like a K24 movie.

[Dave Franco]

What's the best thing I ever did for you?

[John Mulaney]

Nubile.

[Dave Franco]

What's the best thing I ever did for you?

[John Mulaney]

I was on tour in Australia and like, I don't know, my hotel or something. Like, I went to like pornhub.com and they were like, no, you can't. Like. And then I was so, like, after a show, like, I think I thought I was gonna like, maybe hook up with a girl. I didn't. And I'm like, all I had left to end the night was jerking off. And I couldn't even have that. But I knew he was on like LA time and I called him and I asked him to make an iPhone video. So he basically had this like handheld iPhone video of him like doing two and a half minutes. And he was silent throughout the night.

[Dave Franco]

He was like, don't talk.

[John Mulaney]

Yeah, he can't. He had to take it. Like, I didn't want him to ruin it. And I was able to jerk off.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, over FaceTime?

[John Mulaney]

No, he filmed it, sent it to me, I got the text, and then I Was able to pull it up.

[Dave Franco]

Okay, we did it over.

[Kristen Bell]

That is cool. That's a good story.

[Dave Franco]

Okay, what do you have to ask, Chris?

[Nick Kroll]

So knowing that your husband jerks off over FaceTime with his friend, does that feel like it's a relief that he has that outlet? Like, how does that affect.

[John Mulaney]

I don't jerk off on FaceTime.

[Dave Franco]

As my last question. Just fully, selfishly, I need to. You really don't understand how much I need to hear just like a. Just a few seconds of voices again. It's truly my greatest. Will you give us a little motivation? Each one of us in a different voice?

[Nick Kroll]

Sure.

[Dave Franco]

Okay. Okay. Select.

[Nick Kroll]

Sure.

[Dave Franco]

Sure.

[Nick Kroll]

Okay. Great. Okay. All right. Dave, getting to know you over this whole session.

[John Mulaney]

This is so fun.

[Nick Kroll]

It's been.

[Dave Franco]

I mean, yeah.

[Nick Kroll]

Understanding that you were a fan of mine as I was. You brought me so much joy, Chrissy.

[John Mulaney]

Let's see.

[Nick Kroll]

So beautiful. That was per. Minnie. As I know you probably. Probably I most identify with this voice. I wish you well.

[Kristen Bell]

That one is so. That's my favorite voice. That was great.

[Nick Kroll]

There you go.

[John Mulaney]

Thank you. I love you. That was so fun.

[Nick Kroll]

Oh, my God. Oh, my pleasure. Guys, I do have to leave, but this was so fun.

[John Mulaney]

Great hang, huh?

[Kristen Bell]

I love Nick.

[John Mulaney]

He is the best hang.

[Dave Franco]

You know what I love more than Nick?

[John Mulaney]

Nick?

[Dave Franco]

Watermelon white claws.

[John Mulaney]

I don't love it more than Nick. Cause I love passion fruit white claw more than Nick.

[Dave Franco]

I honestly don't know. Hot summer day, I might take watermelon over Nick.

[John Mulaney]

Nick's fun in the summer.

[Dave Franco]

Can I tell you what? I'd take over Nick for sure.

[John Mulaney]

Three, two.

[Kristen Bell]

Wait. This water drop reminds me of how I feel because Nick left.