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Ashley Flowers
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Harley J.
Was it always this dark? He reaches back to years far gone, winching memories bloated by time. Much like the stars, these ancient gems, these stones no longer glitter. Perhaps they never did. So much had changed the last few years, least of all his prescription. Misty clouds rub over the moon, spoiling its light with cataracts, celestial features now millimeter smudge. Was it always so small? Matt knuckled his eyes, trying to scrape the sticker price from his newly bought contacts. This was his fifth pair, his third optometrist just this year. His vision was 2020 by standard marks, but his sight was still off. It had to be. So much was changed in the last few years. Not just what's far away, but inches away. He stares down over his arms at the spatter of freckles flicked like mud in clear contradiction. He can't help but this skin feels new.
Jake
Come on, we're not getting any younger. Huh?
Olive
I said. I'm still thinking. It's harder going last.
Jake
Well, while you think up a story, I'm going to make a lemon stand.
Frank
Oh.
Harley J.
What?
Jake
I think he's relieving himself.
Olive
What a relief.
Jake
Don't pretend you won't miss me. BRB.
Olive
Did it just get 200 decibels quieter. Or is it just me?
Jake
I can still hear you.
Olive
Ow. It's like a smoke alarm.
Harley J.
So much had changed in the last few years. But not his friends. Why not his friends? The fire cracked its back. And he sees them as they are still the same group of misfits founded since high school. Their faces, their voices were nearly identical. Was he really that different? He took a deep breath, but the air was filled with smoke and gnats and his own dry spit and the fear that he.
Olive
That thing.
Jake
Shit. Oh, my God. I bet you heard that one, too.
Olive
You a hole now. There's dirt all over my sleeping bag.
Harley J.
Not cool, Jake.
Jake
Oh, relax. We're camping. Dirt is part of the experience.
Olive
Why do you even have that stupid air horn app?
Jake
If I had a mirror, I could show you. Some people never change. Damn right. I'm mint condition.
Olive
Well, thank you, Jake, because your little joke just gave me an idea for a story.
Harley J.
Oh, boy.
Jake
I can't wait to hear this.
Olive
Yeah, you see, this story is about a prank taken a bit too far. So gather round, Jake, and listen close.
Jake
Uh. Oh.
Frank
Okay, so before you go calling me a complete asshole, you should know my wife, Stacy has pulled some seriously messed up pranks in the past. Like last August, after my mom got hit by an 18 wheeler, she secretly signed up for ventriloquism lessons so that during the funeral, she could throw her voice and yell, get me out of here.
Ashley Flowers
I'm still alive, damn it.
Frank
While the pallbearers lowered the casket. Or there was the time she tricked me into thinking I'd won the lottery. That alone I might have laughed off. Except she also convinced me to call my very married asshole boss and tell him the whole department knows he screwed his secretary at the office Christmas party. So I'd been looking for a little payback, you might say. Just last week, Stacy came down with a ferocious migraine, and three days in bed with a damp rag across her head didn't help one bit. So off to the hospital we went. From across the desk in his cramped office, Dr. Mercer said she needed a brain scan. He also suggested that, in his professional opinion, we should brace ourselves for the worst time slowed down while we waited for the diagnosis. Adrift and forlorn, we held each other for hours on end while the seconds ticked by on the clock above the mantelpiece. Oh, sure, my beloved kept a brave face, but anytime she returned from her solo walks, her eyes would be all red and puffed out. Well, this morning, Dr. Mercer finally called. While Stacy was at the store. He used a landline because she hadn't answered her mobile. So what's the diagnosis? I asked, my stomach folding itself in knots. Again and again he insisted he couldn't discuss the case with anyone besides the patient, although 10 minutes of groveling wore him down. He sighed, lowered his voice, then said he had a hunch Stacy and I would have cause for celebration this Valentine's Day. All the joy seeped back into the world. I thanked the doc a million times before collapsing into the chair, an idea for a prank already blooming in my mind. And boy, was it a doozy. At the lounge table, I rubbed my eyes until they turned all bloodshot and then practiced my sullen face. Soon I heard Little Miss Loves to Prank come through the front door, kick off her shoes, and shuffle along the hall. As she stepped into the room, I looked up without saying a single word. A hand shot over her mouth. I swallowed a gulp. Then, in a thin, weak Voice, I said, Dr. Mercer called, is it bad? Rather than answer, I simply pretended to sob into my hands. Stacy didn't burst into tears or scream, nor did she collapse on the floor. Instead, she let out a deep sigh and threw her head back. On the wall beside the window stood a dark wooden cabinet. She went over to it, slid open the bottom drawer, and lifted out this huge metal trunk. I stood up. Everything okay? The trunk had a combination lock. Once Stacy rolled the numbers into place, the latch opened with a little click.
Stacy
Do you love me?
Frank
She asked over her shoulder. Still in character, I said, of course I love you. I'll always love you.
Stacy
And we're going to get Then drink this.
Frank
She spun around, holding out a whiskey bottle. I craned my neck to peek inside the trunk and glimpsed a pair of handcuffs and a red bow tie before she blocked my view.
Stacy
I bought it for a special occasion, she said.
Frank
I stepped forward, arms outstretched. Listen, no matter what, we're gonna get through this mess together.
Stacy
Just drink it, she snapped. Please. It's important. If you love me, you'll drink it.
Frank
Was this a joke? I searched her face for answers, finding none but hell, who was I to judge? Everybody processes grief in their own individual way. Sure, honey. I grabbed the bottle from her and took a long swig, my insides already warming. Five seconds later, the floor rose up to meet me. Darkness swallowed the lounge and everything in it. My next memory is of the words I love you drifting toward me from the end of a long tunnel. There was pressure inside my skull. I tried moving, but I couldn't. My hands had been cuffed behind my back. My ankles were bound together by a length of rope. I was propped up on the sofa in a tux. Through the haze I saw two Stacy's orbit one another, both wearing her favorite dress, that red off the shoulder number. In her right hand she had a pistol. Where did that come from? Her voice echoed on and on as she told me she'd prepared for this day years ago, that she couldn't bear the thought of me carrying on without her and starting a new family. Although I dipped in and out of consciousness, the words we have to go together kept stinging in my ears. I thrashed around, unable to speak. The best my drooling mouth could manage was slurred random syllables. Stacy sat beside me and pressed her right temple against my left, the pistol angled in such a way one shot would tear through both our frontal lobes. Oh, fuck, did she plan on killing us? My attempts to beg her to wait came out as a nonsensical gurgle. Squeezing those beautiful green eyes of her shut, Stacy said, goodbye, Frank.
Stacy
I love you so, so much.
Frank
By now enough of the brain fog had lifted that I could mutter, it was a prank. She stopped breathing and tensed up.
Harley J.
What?
Frank
I took several quick, short breaths. It's a prank, Dr. Mercer said. You'll be fine. So I set you up as payback for the lottery thing. For almost a minute, neither of us said a word, the room thick with tension. Then, forcing a smile, she said.
Stacy
Well, duh.
Frank
She stood.
Stacy
Did you really think I was gonna kill us both? I knew you were full of crap the second I walked in. You're the worst actor in the world. I just turned the prank around on you.
Frank
The way she said this, every word, steeped in sincerity, made the statement swing all the way back towards hollow. She crossed the room and slipped the gun into the trunk before returning with a key to unlock my cuffs.
Stacy
Well, that's a relief about the diagnosis. We should celebrate. How about we order tie tonight?
Frank
After she loosened the rope, I got up, rubbing my chafed wrists. My vision blurred and my throat dry. Sounds great.
Stacy
Perfect.
Frank
With that, she smiled, stood on her tiptoes, lifted my chin with a finger, gave me a quick kiss, and then disappeared into the kitchen. My shirt was a drenched rag against my chest. Had it really been a prank? Surely drugging me was a step too far, even for her. Just then the phone wailed. It sounded painfully loud inside my aching skull. Dr. Mercer was on the line, and this time his voice carried a distinct sour note. Frank, I'm really sorry, but there's been a mix up with the results.
Harley J.
Can you have Stacy call me as soon as possible?
Frank
It's. It's urgent. The room tilted from side to side, the ground shifting beneath my feet. My better half came through the door.
Stacy
And asked, who was that, honey?
Frank
I hung up and swallowed the lump in my throat. Ah, wrong number.
Olive
So, Jake, anything you have to say?
Jake
Bravo. Bravo. I never knew I was such an inspiration to you, Olive Inspir.
Olive
Yeah, right. More like us.
Jake
And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have scared you while you were wrapped in your burrito.
Olive
Oh, well, thank you. I guess I just wish you weren't always so.
Jake
Sorry. Had to get that last one out. As I said, some people never.
Ashley Flowers
Full Body Chills is an Audio Chuck Production this episode was written by Lighting nations and read by Harley J. Intro Outro written by David Flowers and read by Ashley Flowers, Idris Jones, Kirsten Lee, Nathan Noakes and Chai Sheree.
Harley J.
So what do you think Chuck? Do you approve?
Chuck
Looking for toys that'll get the biggest reactions?
Olive
Yes, please.
Chuck
Walmart has jaw dropping toys. Like for real, Daisy, Yoga Goat, awesome Razor, Crazy Cart Shuffle.
Ashley Flowers
Whoa.
Chuck
Hot wheels, Bluey, 3 in 1, airplane playset, and more.
Frank
Freak out?
Chuck
Aren't you gonna say cool?
Frank
I'm saving it for the holidays.
Chuck
Smart.
Harley J.
Aw, freak out.
Chuck
Welcome to your Walmart break session.
Ashley Flowers
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Full Body Chills: Episode Summary - CAMPFIRE: Romantic Antics
Podcast Information:
In the episode titled "CAMPFIRE: Romantic Antics," listeners are plunged into a chilling narrative that blurs the lines between playful pranks and sinister intentions. The story revolves around Frank and his wife, Stacy, a couple known for their elaborate and often unsettling pranks. As the tale unfolds, what begins as a lighthearted act of revenge spirals into a horrifying ordeal, highlighting the potential dangers of taking mischievous antics too far.
Frank's Backstory and Stacy's Pranks
The episode opens with Frank recounting the tumultuous history of pranks orchestrated by his wife, Stacy. From ventriloquism during Frank's mother's funeral to tricking him into making defamatory calls to his boss, Stacy's pranks have consistently pushed boundaries. Frank describes one such incident:
"Stacy tricked me into thinking I'd won the lottery. That alone I might have laughed off. Except she also convinced me to call my very married asshole boss and tell him the whole department knows he screwed his secretary at the office Christmas party."
[05:17] Frank
These experiences set the stage for Frank's desire to enact his own act of payback, aiming to level the prank playing field.
The Hospital Prank Setup
When Stacy falls ill with a severe migraine, Frank seizes the opportunity to execute his retaliatory prank. At the hospital, Dr. Mercer suggests a brain scan, but the waiting period becomes the perfect setting for Frank's plan. He decides to simulate a dire diagnosis, aiming to elicit a strong emotional response from Stacy.
"So I set you up as payback for the lottery thing. For almost a minute, neither of us said a word, the room thick with tension."
[12:07] Frank
The Elaborate Prank Gone Wrong
Frank meticulously crafts his act, portraying symptoms of a severe condition while holding back crucial information. Stacy enters the room, and Frank feigns despair, claiming that Dr. Mercer has delivered devastating news. The tension peaks as Stacy seems to fall victim to Frank's act, leading to a moment where she appears genuinely distressed.
"In her right hand she had a pistol. Where did that come from? Her voice echoed on and on as she told me she'd prepared for this day years ago."
[09:24] Frank
However, the prank takes an unexpected turn. Stacy reveals that she has orchestrated her own counter-prank, intensifying Frank's distress to the brink of genuine fear. The situation escalates as Frank believes that Stacy intends to harm both of them, blurring the lines between playful deceit and real danger.
The Aftermath and Realization
As Frank grapples with the aftermath of the prank, he receives a call from Dr. Mercer indicating a mix-up with the diagnosis, further complicating his emotional state. This revelation forces Frank to confront the consequences of their pranking feud.
"Well, that's a relief about the diagnosis. We should celebrate. How about we order tie tonight?"
[13:24] Stacy
The episode culminates with Frank questioning the extent of their pranks and the fine line between fun and fear, leaving listeners to ponder the ramifications of pushing pranks too far.
The Thin Line Between Humor and Horror:
Psychological Impact of Deception:
Trust and Relationships:
Vengeance and Its Consequences:
Frank on Stacy's Past Pranks:
"Stacy tricked me into thinking I'd won the lottery. That alone I might have laughed off. Except she also convinced me to call my very married asshole boss and tell him the whole department knows he screwed his secretary at the office Christmas party."
[05:17] Frank
Frank Describing the Prank Setup:
"So I set you up as payback for the lottery thing. For almost a minute, neither of us said a word, the room thick with tension."
[12:07] Frank
Stacy Revealing the Prank:
"Did you really think I was gonna kill us both? I knew you were full of crap the second I walked in. You're the worst actor in the world. I just turned the prank around on you."
[12:53] Stacy
Frank on the Reality of the Situation:
"Had it really been a prank? Surely drugging me was a step too far, even for her."
[13:43] Frank
"CAMPFIRE: Romantic Antics" serves as a gripping exploration of the potential dark side of pranking within intimate relationships. By weaving a tale that transitions from playful revenge to psychological terror, the episode highlights the inherent risks of blurring lines between jest and genuine emotion. Listeners are left to contemplate the enduring impact of repeated deceit and the importance of setting boundaries to preserve trust and safety within personal bonds.
The episode masterfully balances suspense with emotional depth, ensuring that the horror stems not just from supernatural elements but from relatable human interactions. "CAMPFIRE: Romantic Antics" stands out as a poignant reminder of how actions borne out of frustration or desire for balance can inadvertently lead to situations far more sinister than initially intended.