Bill Maher (1:46)

Yeah. You ask the questions. I'm just gonna say, what.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (1:49)

What do you think? When does that change? What age does?

Bill Maher (1:52)

Well, it's, you know, everything.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (1:54)

You just stop giving a.

Bill Maher (1:55)

It's just gradual. Of course. Life is a revolution. It's not a revolution. 30 to almost 70, that's 40 years. Yes. You'll go through. You know, each decade is. You're a different person a little bit. You know, your friends will change somewhat. Hopefully have some your whole life. But, you know, you change. I mean, a lot of people change marriages, you know, and it's not their fault. People, you know, you're not the Same person at 40 as you were at 20. If you can still make that work with the same person. Good. Or if you're faking it, that's your choice. But, you know, you're not a bad person if you're like, jesus Christ, I'm sorry I married you at 20. And now I'm just, you know, like, who? I've heard people say this. Not just the men, women even more saying they're married. And they say that there are some days you just look over and go, who is this person in my bed?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (2:48)

Marriage is scary, bro.

Bill Maher (2:50)

I mean, I never got married. Look what you're talking.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (2:52)

You've never been married once.

Bill Maher (2:54)

You didn't know that about me.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (2:55)

I didn't know that.

Bill Maher (2:56)

You don't know me at all.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (2:57)

I don't know you. Well, that's why I'm here. To get to know you too.

Bill Maher (2:59)

No, but I mean, I talk about it on my show for 30 years. Wow. It comes up a lot. Do you know I smoke pot?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (3:04)

I do know that. Yeah, I heard. You don't call it pot, though. You call it cigarettes, right?

Bill Maher (3:09)

Oh. Oh. I used to joke here on the podcast that. Because at first when I was doing it, you know, I was a little nervous about it because there was talk that there were states maybe where it wasn't legal, where, you know, they wouldn't show the podcast. But it turned out it was. Their brock was worse than their bite. And. And you could smoke and it didn't. Didn't seem to affect anything, but. So I used to joke when I was the first. I know a few months we did this and I was kind of nervous. I would just be smoking the joint and I'd be like, these clove cigarettes are fantastic. That's what people smoke when they're, you.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (3:47)

Know, how many, how many cloves you rip in a day?

Bill Maher (3:50)

Not a lot. You know, people think I'm a huge pothead. I'm not a huge pothead. I'm a pothead. I'm a. I'm a high functioning drug addict. I'm very proud of it. But I don't even smoke day. No, I try to limit it as much as I can because the less you do, the better it works. I'd love to quit for a month, but that's not going to happen, Kyle. I've tried many times.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (4:12)

Weed's just person to person too. Like, I don't think it has any. Does it have any, you know, like serious, serious health effects? Not really. Not like alcohol.

Bill Maher (4:20)

It's definitely not like alcohol. I mean, I Don't believe my hippie friends who talk about it like it's health food. I just. I go by common sense a lot. With health and smoke in your lungs, you weren't born with smoke in your lungs. Is it better than cigarette smoke? Of course. And of course you can even try to up the odds on that by smoking the cleanest weed you can find. But are you there on the farm when they pick it? I mean, do you just. Because it says on the bottle or whatever. I mean, I'm lucky. I know some growers so I can get. I can. I pretty. I grow it here. I know personally, but, you know, you.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (5:01)

Got a couple plants out there I could show you.

Bill Maher (5:05)

Yeah.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (5:05)

You ever toss a little tobacco in the. The joint or not? You're just straight weed.

Bill Maher (5:09)

Why would I do. Why would you take. You. You're. You're saying, okay, this isn't the greatest thing for my health, but it's way better than cigarettes and alcohol. Why would you then make it into a cigarette?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (5:19)

We used to call it batch bowls when we used to rip bong. Like, you put a little tobacco in and then you mix it with some green and it just gives you like a nasty head rush. And then you're also getting the high.

Bill Maher (5:28)

Tobacco actually affects you, your high.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (5:31)

Well, it gives you that instant head rush right away. So really, the bowl, you get the head rush first and then it kind of simmers off and then you get the high.

Bill Maher (5:38)

Yeah. That's another thing you're going to outgrow, Kyle.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (5:41)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (5:42)

You're not going.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (5:42)

I don't even smoke like that no more. I used to smoke morning, but it made me too lazy.

Bill Maher (5:48)

I used to, like, you know, we would take the whipped cream cans at the bar at the comedy clubs, and we would. If you bent back the nozzle, you'd get the gas, you know, because you.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (5:59)

Guys were on some shit.

Bill Maher (6:02)

And then. Whipped cream can. Yeah, the bartender would be pissed because then the whipped cream wouldn't come out because you. You robbed all the gas so you could get high. And like, that was a head rush. But it lasted like, you know, 30 seconds. The thing, the idea that I would at this point in my. My health. Because it can't be good to be, you know, force, force, breathing gas.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (6:28)

You gotta outgrow the whipped cream for.

Bill Maher (6:30)

30 seconds of a high. It was just a terrible bargain. But, you know, like I say, you just, you know, your. Your cerebral cortex or whatever it is, it's just still growing. Especially men. Men just, you know, one of the hardest things in society really is no matter what age you live in, you know, women just mature much, much sooner. And men, it take, I mean you're literally, you literally, I think need like a 40 year head start.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (6:59)

What do you mean?

Bill Maher (7:00)

I mean like, like, you know, if I would, you know, hypothetically be going out with a 26 year old, hypothetically, it would be the correct amount of time between us.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (7:12)

You need to be 66 to be the same maturity level.

Bill Maher (7:15)

Well, I'm 69, but you know, roughly. Let's just, let's round down. Yeah, I'm just saying you need a very, very. People are different but to be like as mature as they are, even in their mid-20s. Yes, you need, that's my experience that you need to be way, way, way older. I mean I was not, I was not mature at all at 40. Really? Yeah. Because I think a lot of times in what you're doing in our lives, all of us, do you think that.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (7:44)

Potentially is like the environment you're in or do you think like all 40 year old males would not be mature? I mean you probably had a fucking playground, right?

Bill Maher (7:52)

I think what it is is that you're always gonna bundle and safe.

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Bill Maher (8:39)

And making up for your the last era of your life. Now I did not have a good social life when I was an adolescent. When people, when you should be, you know, kids are mostly having fun at college. They're known as party schools. I, I had none of that experience. I had a horrible time socially at school, college and in high school. I was very shy and you know, I had one girlfriend and that was it the whole time, you know, so I was kind of like making up for my fun years of, you know, adolescence that didn't go well. I think that happens a lot in our life. We're making up for something in the past. You know, it can be something in childhood. You know, people don't have great childhoods. Their parents them up in some way and they're always compensating for that in some way, for late into life, sometimes their whole life.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (9:29)

Right.

Bill Maher (9:30)

So I think that's one reason why I was, you know, socially not very mature at that age. You know, I just still wanted to have fun. I mean, happens to women, too. They, like, I've known women, I don't think I was personally involved with them, but who, like, had kids young and then they get to be like, 40, and they're like, yeah, I missed out. I, you know, I. You wrote you. And they get mad at the husband sometimes. You rob me of my youth. And I. I was raising your kids. Nobody put a gun to your head. No, but now they want. They, you know, they want their day in the sun and they want to be fun and hot and out and, you know, I get it. I get it. It's. It's all. It's all how you handle it.

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Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (11:15)

Shout out to Factor. What do you think the difference is? Like, dating, when you started dating, caught that. Or like going out and partying versus, like, now. What's the biggest differences, you think?

Bill Maher (11:26)

I'm not out that much, and I probably don't go to the places you go, but occasionally I do because, like somebody, I do like younger friends. I just do. I mean, a lot of my friends, certainly the ones I go out with a lot Are millennials.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (11:38)

You look great for 60s.

Bill Maher (11:40)

Thanks. I owe it all to clean liquor. Kyle. I was at this party. Listen to this. I was with somebody I know and her younger sister who's like, you know, very in the mix of Hollywood and the Hollywood social scene is. Is just a lot of trust fund kids and Nepo babies. That's who runs the nightlife. Okay. So we went to this party. I remember it was outside. It was a nice night. And you know, and I, I was looking for pot. Or maybe I had pot. So somebody asked me for pot. That's what it was. And I was like, me? Why are you asking me? Why you don't you kids have any pot? Nobody had pot. And I was like, what the fuck? Nobody. You're. You're. You're 22 and you. Nobody's. You know why? Because they all are high. When they came in on something they.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (12:32)

Swallowed, ah, pop pills.

Bill Maher (12:34)

That's where the drug scene has gone.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (12:36)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (12:37)

You do it before you leave the house. It's. They. They perfected like perfect. But they certainly make commercialized made more easily to do like micro dosing of acid. Micro dosing of mushrooms.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (12:52)

Mushrooms is very, very big now, right? Microdosing.

Bill Maher (12:56)

Right. So they're not smoking pot because they. They're on a bigger drug before they even left. And pot is sort of like, you know, old school or something. Nevertheless, a lot of people seem to want it when I, When I let it up.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (13:11)

Yeah.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (13:11)

Have you ever.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (13:12)

Have you ever fucked with the mushroom chocolates or anything like that?

Bill Maher (13:14)

But I used to do mushrooms when. I mean, we didn't put them in anything. We. They were like fucking out of the ground. They were like disgusting dried buds that you, you know, you found a way to eat it. But sometimes, I mean, it was like, tastes like, tastes like. And then sometimes you got a little queasy or even threw up. But yeah, I remember that. I think the first time I did it, I put them in a tuna fish sandwich. That was not a good idea.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (13:40)

Tuna fish, mushy sandwich.

Bill Maher (13:42)

I seem to remember that. Yes. And then you could put them in the blender. I remember doing that. Or just fucking eat them. That mean once you're high and you want more, somebody's got the little bag, just eat it, you eat the cap. That's what I mostly remember.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (13:58)

You've tripped pretty hard, you know, I.

Bill Maher (13:59)

Mean, acid, nobody has done since like the 60s. Timothy Leary told me that if he doesn't know, no one knows. I mean, he said it's very hard thing to make in the lab. That Owsley guy who made the original batch that the Beatles did and everybody did, you know, that was kind of the real lsd. And then by the time I was. I think the first time I did it was the. I don't remember doing it in college. I don't think it was around. I did it like maybe in the 80s or something. And they said it was acid. It wasn't acid. It was some bullshit that somebody put together that kind of got you high. It was a shitty trip. It was grungy. I remember I couldn't get out of my body for a whole day. I was. So was it a trip? Not really. It was probably a bunch of strychnine and speed and some thing that he put together. And they called it acid. And of course, there's no regulation how the. Do you know what acid.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (14:53)

I have no desire to try acid. I don't know.

Bill Maher (14:55)

But I think they probably have made something closer to it now. And I do know people swear by the micro dosing of acid because they say it's not like you're tripping. It's just like you're very focused and you're in a great mood. And, you know, I think they have really targeted that. Somebody got the bright idea. We can make a lot of money just taking some of these drugs that people think are kind of like, oh, that's kind of a big investment to trip on acid. Am I really ready and where am I going to do it? And am I going to jump up a building and. No, let's. Let's make it, like, a lot easier to do and not quite as severe. And I bet you we could make a lot of money. And I bet they do.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (15:34)

That's the next wave. Yeah, I think. I think even the mushrooms, I wonder if those will ever get legalized. Kind of like the way weed is now, because people are really doing those too. I just tried them. We had some Australian chicks that we. We went to Australia and We became. We became friends with them in Australia. And then they came out to visit us for New Year's and we, like, partied for three days straight, like normal partying. But then we were doing dry January, so we stopped the drinking after New Year's and then we switched to only mushrooms for three days. So we did mushroom chocolates for, like, three days. And it feels like having like six drinks or something, like, especially when you're outside in the sun. And, like, I could see it being really big if it becomes legal.

Bill Maher (16:15)

I think it is big. And when you did it the way I did it, where you just really, just ate it raw. At least for me it was just. You would just laugh at everything.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (16:26)

Yeah, you're just laughing.

Bill Maher (16:27)

The drug is like, I think robbing all the serotonin. Is that it? You know, something like that. I'm not sure about, but you can.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (16:35)

Feel like other people's energy on it too. Like if someone's like in a shitty mood, you can kind of like.

Bill Maher (16:39)

Yeah.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (16:40)

Feel it.

Bill Maher (16:40)

One person.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (16:41)

It's like a psychological harsh.

Bill Maher (16:43)

You're mellow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. And it's also, I recall, bad coming down sometimes because you depleted your supply of whatever the chemical it is that makes you feel pretty good as a normal person walking around, you just rob that.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (17:01)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (17:02)

You just took it all. So now you're just like, you know, you're. It's probably close to what people who are depressed feel like, who need, you know. I mean, for years they didn't treat depression with drugs, which was crazy because, you know, psychiatrists, they were useless. It's not about that. These people just lack a certain amount of whatever the serotonin or whatever it is that makes the endorphins, which I call the dogs.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (17:31)

Like a chemical imbalance.

Bill Maher (17:32)

Of course it is. Well, not all depression, but much. They found. Yes. People who went to shrinks for years and then they took one pill and like, oh, okay, not exactly problem solved. And of course, there's lots of problems with the drugs themselves.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (17:48)

Yeah, don't a lot of people say that those drugs just kind of mask the problems and they don't actually.

Bill Maher (17:51)

Well, they can do that. They also can just like. Yes, they'll take away your. Your lows, but also your highs. So you're just kind of like existing, you know, it probably takes away your libido, you know. No, you're not depressed, but you might as well be because it's very hard to. To be on psychedelic drugs, psychotropic, whatever the word is drugs, and find the exact right dosage and have it just be the good part and not the bad part. Of course, nowadays they just start kids way too early, way too much on drugs. No wonder the kids are all on drugs because you put them on drugs. You horrible, horrible parents. Just, you know, severe cases. Yes, but you know, boys who are agitated, that's being a boy. Okay, let's. Once you start them on the. Here, take a pill. You just created a drug addict for life. They'll just switch the drug out for.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (18:51)

Other Ones putting a kid on Adderall, it's like, it's pretty much legal meth, right?

Bill Maher (18:55)

Like, it is. It's exactly what it is. The kid's unhappy. Of course, he's a fucking kid. Yeah, I was mostly unhappy. Not like fundamentally unhappy, and certainly not because there was anything really wrong in my life. I was fortunate. Just because I'm a control freak. That's my nature. You don't have any control when you're a kid. You're vulnerable, you know, you're. You're just. Everything you want is like far away. Like, I didn't really, I didn't really want to be a kid when I was a kid. Adult. Looked good. And I was right.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (19:27)

You always wanted to grow up, right?

Bill Maher (19:28)

Yeah, I was right. It is better adult stuff.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (19:31)

What's the best era for you? Like. Like I'm 30 right now. Like, is this the best time or when?

Bill Maher (19:37)

To me it is now. I mean, I mean, even with being older, it's not like I can't do everything I always could do. So that's good.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (19:45)

So it just gets better and better and better.

Bill Maher (19:46)

Well, I know. No, then you, at some point you die. That's not better, you know, but you know what I mean? Yeah.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (19:51)

I mean, cuz I get to sit here. You're. You're wise. I get to get.

Bill Maher (19:55)

I mean, to me, I like it now because again, I just don't make stupid mistakes like I used to. I just don't do stupid things. I'm nicer, I have no competition with anybody. I've already won everything I wanted to win at the few things I didn't. Yeah, you can't get everything, you know, and I'm totally at peace with that. And so I'm not like competitive with anybody. I don't have to prove anything. I could quit tomorrow and I'd be very happy with my legacy and everything I did. So that, I mean, that kind of peace of mind. I would say the thing, conversely, the thing that gnawed at me the most when I was exactly your age is am I going to be a failure? That probably created more stress in my life than anything. Well, relationships, they caused a lot of stress. But that thought, you know, oh my God, I could I be like one of the losers in this game, you know? You know, because that's the early 30s is when you started to see some of the guys you started out with in the comedy club, starting to, you know, get shows and stuff. And I'm like, oh, am I gonna be like the comic Would never, like, get to the next. That would suck. You know, I'm not going to be a good failure. So, like, that was super stressful. And I don't have, you know, you don't. Just don't have any of that now. So you have like all the. The. And also, I, you know, I still love the job. I do not. Not. I mean, this one is fun, too, but my real job, in real time, I mean, it's like, it's the best job in the world. And they keep hiring me to do it.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (21:37)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (21:38)

And you reach so many people, but I can do it and I keep doing it, get better and better because you, You're. You're just, you know, you've been doing something a longer time, you just. You just get better at it. That would be true of anything. If I played the piano for 30 years, I'd be better at it now.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (21:53)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (21:55)

So that's all the good part, you know, the bad part is. Yeah, you're much more likely, you know, tomorrow I could have a heart attack than you.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:04)

That's safe to say.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (22:05)

Yeah.

Nelk Boys Host (22:05)

It depends what I'm doing, though, at.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:07)

The same time, right?

Bill Maher (22:07)

No, your stupidity.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:09)

No, I'm good. I'm good.

Bill Maher (22:10)

You could definitely kill your heart with stupidity, too. Young people do it all the time.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:13)

I could have done My boys I got to watch over. I'm always.

Bill Maher (22:16)

I could have done many times. I could have bought the farm with. Stupid drug. Stupid drug trick.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:21)

It's scary now with the drugs theory, right? Yeah. There's a lot of shit in them.

Bill Maher (22:23)

Like fentanyl.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:24)

Yeah, the fentanyl shit.

Bill Maher (22:25)

How do you know it's not in the drugs you're doing?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:27)

You don't. Every fucking cocaine line is a. There's a lottery ticket pretty much, Right. I'm not.

Bill Maher (22:33)

But yeah, I am so glad I'm not doing those drugs anymore.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (22:36)

Yeah.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:37)

I mean, cocaine's just fucking. It's everywhere every party you go to, really. Oh, it's everywhere.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (22:42)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (22:43)

I'm not sure that ever really changed because I think when you look at the.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:47)

They got liquid cocaine now.

Bill Maher (22:49)

What. What is that?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (22:50)

I was at a house here in la, and it's a nasal bottle and it's liquid cocaine. It's like a vape instead of a cigarette. So instead of the stigma of going outside and smoking a cigarette, right. You're just vaping inside. Instead of going to the bathroom and having to, like, you know, try to find the handicap stall, you just have this liquid thing now. And that's what.

Bill Maher (23:10)

So it's that's what, Vapor. Just like a vapor or it's like.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (23:13)

The allergy medicine like, that you need.

Bill Maher (23:14)

You don't really want to stick something up your nose that somebody else stuck up their nose, do you?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (23:18)

I mean, people are desperate for cocaine.

Bill Maher (23:21)

They do.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (23:21)

When the bag runs out, they're probably going to do it.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (23:23)

Yeah. Yeah.

Bill Maher (23:24)

Would you at least wipe off the nozzle?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (23:26)

I don't know. I haven't tried liquid cocaine, but I don't know. I'm observing. I'm kind of past that stage a little bit, but, yeah, I'm past the liquid cocaine.

Bill Maher (23:34)

Cocaine is, I think, always the one that's going to get you. I mean, obviously, people die of other things, and heroin I don't know about, but it must be fantastic because people just do anything for it, you know? I mean, I'll suck your dick is kind of like the middle name of everyone. Every heroin addict. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, I'm sure heroin is not a good thing to start because you'll just like it too much.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (23:58)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (23:59)

But cocaine, certainly everybody, or not everybody, but a lot of people, like, try it, experiment with it, at least do it once or something. And, you know, it's. It's the classic honeymoon drug. Like, you know, at first it's like, wow, this is cool. And I don't need a lot of it. And it's just. It's a. It's a. It's a real slope. Right. A real scam. Soon enough, you will be doing a little more, a little more, a little more. And then, you know, you just don't want to get to that place where you're waking up in the morning, it's the first thing you do, and you're chasing that high all day. Thank God I never got to that place. But people do. I mean, because cocaine has such diminishing returns. Like, you could chart it. Like, oh, the first time I needed one line and I was high for four hours. And, you know, six months later, I need 40 lines and I'm high for 20 minutes. You know, it's like. It's like that. Yeah, it's. It's. It's a great product because it incites you to get more of the product.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (24:59)

Yeah.

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Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (25:58)

Let's get back into the pod. What was the best, like, decade to party in, you think when you're young, whatever. Decade, 80s, 90s.

Bill Maher (26:06)

No, I'm saying whatever. Young, doesn't matter. There are those people always partying. But it's a young man's game, young person.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (26:12)

So what was your favorite, like, partying, like, actually what area you were like?

Bill Maher (26:17)

I mean, I was out of control, really. Not out of control, but sometimes you're out of control. I'm just saying, I was just. I feel like I ran a little roughshod over this town from like, say, I don't know, not really the 80s. It was really older because, like, I had money and more money and, you know, invited to more things. Like after I got Politically InCorrect started in 93, I used to go out a lot with my, my great friend Christopher Kidd. Reed from kid and play 90s in.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (26:52)

LA was probably sick.

Bill Maher (26:53)

He was my, we were drinking buddies and we, we, we were, we were a bad influence on each other. I used to call him Ted for a while because I had a girlfriend who did not like him, you know, and he's the greatest guy in the world. But, you know, it was, it was like he was, you know, he.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (27:11)

What's his name?

Additional Nelk Boys Member (27:12)

Ted?

Bill Maher (27:12)

No, no, his name is Chris. But I called him Ted because, because he was like Ted from the movie. Remember the movie Ted?

Additional Nelk Boys Member (27:19)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (27:19)

And you know, Mila Kunis does not want Mark Wahlberg to have his teddy bear because it's just, it's just leading him. They're gonna go do stupid boy and drink too much. And Chris was kind of like Ted like that. And I was like, I'm not giving up my teddy bear.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (27:34)

I'm sorry you're that weak friend.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (27:36)

Yeah.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (27:37)

And you just bounce off each other.

Bill Maher (27:38)

But yes. And we just. We both like, liked our pot and liked our. Our liquor. I mean, I drank too much. That was a stupid thing. I could have. I should have just done. You know, we would. You're young and your body takes it. You're. You will party to the extent that your body lets you. That's the rule I've found in life. That's just the way it is. You're. When your bar. When your body lets you have 30 drinks a week, you will.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (28:05)

That's so true. And then your body. And then you just shut down one day.

Bill Maher (28:08)

No, not shut down. Well, I mean, like when I was younger, I definitely got more colds, flu, that kind of shit, because I kept my body shittier. I had all that liquor to process, which is not good. So my body was compromised and it was. Did not have the defenses and nothing horrible happened. But yeah, you're smoking and drinking and partying and not getting enough sleep. Yeah, you're gonna be. And now much less, you know.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (28:36)

Do you have a crazy party story?

Bill Maher (28:38)

I'm sure I've got a thousand, but.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (28:40)

You gotta tell us one.

Bill Maher (28:41)

Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I guess I did crazy things. I mean, I didn't like every good get up on the roof and jump into the pool. I mean, it wasn't like rock star, but.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (28:51)

What was like the craziest party you've been to?

Bill Maher (28:53)

I had a couple of big ones here when I first got this.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (28:57)

Oh, you throw shakers?

Bill Maher (28:59)

No, not for 20 years. But like when I first I lived next door. You know that, right? So this is. This property came available like a few years after I moved in. And it was a lot of room and I wasn't actually living here, so I said, oh, great, let's throw a party. I mean, this room itself was. Was one of the big parts, you know? Yeah, I could see that this is a great party room because you can't destroy it. It's just so solid and ugly to begin with. Well, I made it beautiful with all the stuff on the walls and stuff, but I mean, it's just concrete and, you know, it is a down and dirty place and that's perfect for a party with a bar and a pool table and. But I had people swarming all over this property. I Mean, it was like an all day. And then of course, LA people come way late and then don't leave when you want them to.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (29:49)

They won't leave the out in la. I noticed that. And they also think people in LA think they can just like, walk into any part. It's like an open house policy. You mean to like Miami or something?

Bill Maher (29:59)

Like, like, if you're having a party and people just see it on the block, they'll just walk.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (30:04)

Well, people hear about it now. Like, people text each other and it's like, yo, there's a party here. And it's like, if you don't let people in, they kind of get pissed because it's like, I think LA is more like an open house policy.

Bill Maher (30:13)

Wow. I would really not go for that.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (30:15)

Yeah, it sucks.

Bill Maher (30:16)

I would be in a bad place if I had to, like, be the one to deal with people who got mad at me if I didn't let it. Because, like, my recollection of, like, the two parties I threw is like, I think both times somebody let somebody in or they somehow somebody got in who was like a real turd in the punch bowl, you know, after, after the party was over, I heard from like every girl, oh, you know, there's this. That was hitting on everybody in an obnoxious way. Okay, who? This guy? I don't even know this guy.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (30:47)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (30:48)

So throwing parties is.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (30:50)

It's a liability.

Bill Maher (30:51)

It's a lot.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (30:52)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (30:52)

Sometimes you just say, hey, you know, I'll have some people. It seems like nothing. And then it's like, well, there's got to be food and we have liquor and you have to have enough supplies and is the toilet going to overflow? You know, and it's just, it's even, even a small party, it doesn't seem like a lot. It's a lot. And to throw a big party, I mean, you could buy a nice car for what, like that party cost.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (31:16)

Right.

Bill Maher (31:16)

A lot of people, I bet. You know, and also, if you party like that, you need people. Just bartenders and, you know, it's, it's, it's a lot.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (31:25)

Are you into cars?

Bill Maher (31:26)

No.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (31:27)

No.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (31:28)

What are you into? And anything like, like watches or like anything like that?

Bill Maher (31:32)

No, no, I'm not that materialistic.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (31:35)

What do you like to spend money?

Bill Maher (31:36)

I like having a lot of land.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (31:39)

Just buying land.

Bill Maher (31:40)

Well, land here.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (31:43)

How much land you got here? Like how many grids?

Bill Maher (31:47)

I have. I have a good spread here. It's, it's not exactly the Ponderosa, but you could hold a hunt here. With if you combined all the spaces. Yeah, I'm not a materialistic person like that. I was robbed here or at least ransacked like last year. A break in while I was out and at your house? Yeah, right next where I live next door. And you know all the drawers were open. And you know what they took? Nothing because there's nothing to take. They were looking for cash, I assume, you know they any like. Like briefcase anything they thought might have cash in it. But you know, we're not in the era anymore where people steal TVs. Yeah, TVs.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (32:36)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (32:36)

So what was, you know, they were looking for jewelry which I really don't have. You know I have a. I have a watch. I mean, you know, I don't give a about stuff like that.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (32:47)

That's a scary thing.

Bill Maher (32:48)

But nothing. They didn't take anything because they didn't find anything. That's good Gorge Earth policy. So they are robbers.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (32:56)

You've had to done something craz went.

Bill Maher (32:59)

Nuts making this place robber proof.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (33:02)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (33:03)

I didn't even have an alarm which was.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (33:05)

How did you go about that?

Bill Maher (33:06)

Oh, I can't tell you all the things but I'm not going to give away our tricks. But we definitely. The alarm was the first thing and then. Yeah, I pity the fool who tries to break in here now.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (33:16)

Yeah, there's a lot of like home robberies in la, right?

Bill Maher (33:19)

Lots of home. And they call. I love. They call it home invasion. Yes, we have a lot of home invasion.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (33:27)

One of my best friends got his car robbed too here. Like he just parked it and when he came back the car was gone. And then eventually he tracked it down to two days later and it was just completely torn apart. Like all the parts were gone and shit like that. LA is getting a bit fucked with that.

Bill Maher (33:43)

Oh totally. You live out here?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (33:45)

I live in Miami now.

Bill Maher (33:46)

Oh my God.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (33:46)

I lived here for like seven years in la. I'm from Toronto, Canada originally. But I came down here when our YouTube started getting big because this was the spot for YouTube and all the influencers. But we just moved to Miami about a year and a half ago.

Bill Maher (33:57)

Well, I'm gonna have to make a call and you will be deported American and we do not like migrants anymore. So bye bye.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (34:04)

I actually helped our mutual friend Trump a lot. He actually got shouted out in the inauguration speech.

Bill Maher (34:09)

So you're more of a friend. I would say we're acquainted now.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (34:14)

You're good friends with Dana though, right?

Bill Maher (34:16)

I am not good friends. I'm good friends with Kid Rock. Kid Rock, he's my friend. Dana White sat there. We did the podcast. That was nice. I like Dana. I like everybody. Yeah, everybody. Doesn't mean I agree with everybody or, you know, go so far as to, like. I mean, here's a funny story. So before we went to the White House, like a week before Bob, Kid Rock texted me and he said, he showed me this picture of like a. Like a vintage guitar or something. And he said, like, hey, I found this guitar. What do you think we get this and give it to POTUS as a gift? Gift. And I texted back, bob, I'm not at the gift giving level yet. Okay, let's see how the first date goes. Okay. So I think it's. I think it's important that we all talk to each other, and I want to talk to people. And I think anyone who thinks it was the smart. It would have been the smart thing not to go to the White House when you're invited by the President, United States to have an intimate dinner and talk to him. Him is absolutely nuts.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (35:25)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (35:26)

And I am super glad I went. And I have said to the right wingers, you know, I took a lot of. From the left for doing it, always stood my ground. Went right back to criticizing Trump exactly how I would have had we never met. You know, I kept my honor, but I definitely think we should talk. And could I become friends with anyone? Yes. But it never happens. Not friends. Friends happens over time.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (35:55)

Yeah, but you can also be friends with someone, I guess, and not agree with them politically.

Bill Maher (36:01)

Totally friendly, but friends is something different.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (36:05)

Yeah, but Trump had to have. Had to have cracked you up behind the scenes.

Bill Maher (36:09)

Both. Both ways. I think. I think he's really hilarious. I think he. He really enjoyed having somebody there.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (36:15)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (36:16)

Who was funny and did make him laugh.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (36:18)

You guys were probably spitting back and forth.

Bill Maher (36:20)

Yeah. The whole time. And, you know, I mean, they. The left got very mad at me for reporting. Exactly. Honestly the way it happened. And I kept saying, did you see what I said about it? Did you see? I saw it. Okay. So, like, I kept saying, you know, I'm just telling. To tell you what happened. Don't. I'm the messenger here. I'm just telling you, you. This is information for you to deal with. And of course, for a lot of people, it's the old line from the great movie. You can't handle the truth. They just couldn't handle the truth.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (36:54)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (36:55)

You know, but, yeah, I mean, I.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (36:57)

Think you gained a lot of respect by doing.

Bill Maher (36:59)

Totally.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (37:00)

Oh, anyone that thinks you shouldn't have discourse is just.

Bill Maher (37:03)

It's crazy.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (37:04)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (37:04)

First of all, the left has no power, and you're still not going to talk to them, right? That's crazy. It's like, talk about misjudging your leverage. You. You don't control anything. And. And your method is you're gonna. Now you're gonna run into the room screaming. I mean, this is like high school lunch table thing, you know?

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (37:25)

But you wouldn't have probably met with him last. In his last term, Right. So there. There had to be some sort of. You would have. Well, I mean, but there's been a shift. Obviously.

Bill Maher (37:33)

Anytime the President of the United States ever invites me to the White House for a private dinner, you're gone. I'll go the first term. I mean, one reason why this made sense to a degree was it's sort of what they call a Nixon in China thing. Now, that refers to when Nixon went to China to open up China, Communist China. People after that always called it a Nixon to China thing because it meant Nixon had been so hard on communism that it made sense for him to. He had the credibility to go to China and open it up because he was the last person they thought was weak on communism. Same with me and Trump. I had been so critical for so long, I think all with the facts on my side, that it made sense. And of course, the night before we. The dinner, he shit. Tweeted a bunch of. It was perfect. I was so glad of that. It made it in character. You know, the stupid Kid Rock thought it was a good idea. I don't think it's a good idea. It was great. And then, of course, he was completely different when I was there, and he is very different. And I know that bothers people, but it's just the truth. And. But it made sense for me. And, you know, one of my prized possessions right now is I brought him that sheet of paper where I printed the. Count them 56 different insulting things he said about me. And of course, he signed it without questioning. I mean, he certainly did it with. With no hesitation. I said, will you sign this?

Additional Nelk Boys Member (39:13)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (39:14)

And it's just the funniest, greatest fucking memento in the world.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (39:17)

Where do you got that at?

Bill Maher (39:18)

It just. It's hanging in my living room.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (39:20)

Yeah.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (39:20)

You frame it?

Bill Maher (39:21)

Totally. Of course.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (39:23)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (39:23)

Actually, I had a facsimile made because you can't tell the difference, and framed it. The real one I keep in a saf. Yeah. Away from the robbers, away from this house.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (39:33)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (39:34)

Just really. Yeah. Yeah.

Nelk Boys Host (39:35)

Just way away.

Bill Maher (39:36)

Yeah. I have nothing here. I mean, maybe that would be, you know, somebody. Something that people would want to steal. I don't know. I don't think it'll be that much worth that much money, but it's worth a lot to me, and it's. It's just funny.

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Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (40:30)

Let's get back in the pod. Where do you think, like, the left lost people? I think it goes with the transgender.

Bill Maher (40:37)

Well, it's. It's all that kind of stuff. Now. I know your audience. You know, we can talk about this all day, and they'll think, oh, oh, great. But, you know, just put it in perspective. I think the right is even worse because they don't respect the rule of law anymore, and they certainly don't respect democracy, whether we will ever really have another election. We don't know the fact that when a Republican wins the White House, life goes on the next day. It's fine. It's perfect. No problem. If a Democrat wins, they. They just go ape and make up a lot of. About how it wasn't a real fair election, which is all just fucking made up. And you guys and you kids who think that that's all cool, you should own that and do a little more research.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (41:30)

That was just the Biden one, though, right? I personally saw no evidence that it.

Bill Maher (41:35)

Was rigged, but, yeah, it was not. They. Many people studied it, including Republicans. It was thrown out of court, like, six, 60 times. It was ridiculous. Yeah, but that's where the. The, you know, bros are. But why that happened, I completely understand. Because to your point about transgender, it's not just transgender. The. The far left, what we call the woke, you know, they seem to embrace every sort of, like, obviously aggressively anti common sense Thing so that people, like regular, normal people, a lot of them don't follow politics that closely, but they go. These people just seem to be so deliberately counterintuitive. Deliberately counterintuitive to common sense. Like, you really want to put this hulking trans woman, but obviously looks like a very large man on the woman against women swimming and things like that. And they do.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (42:44)

Absurd.

Bill Maher (42:45)

I can't let people who have this worm in their brain, whatever that worm is. Bobby Kennedy's not the only one with a worm in his brain. I just can't let those people take over this country. And I totally get that. It's one reason that the right does not hate me, even though I call them out on their shit just as much and never stop calling Trump out on his shit, because I recognize the craziness on the other side, too, and I call them out on their shit just as much. It's just that if I had to balance the two. The left shit, yes, is still less fundamentally existentially threatening, and it actually affects way less.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (43:27)

The left just got to like the woke shit got too far.

Bill Maher (43:31)

And it is bad and it has affected lots of people, just not as much as if we never really have an election again. And a lot of the other stuff.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (43:40)

What do you mean by that?

Bill Maher (43:41)

Like I just said, there'll be no more.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (43:42)

What do you mean? There's no more elections?

Bill Maher (43:44)

When a Democrat loses, like Kamala, like Hillary, they go away. They understand there's a winner and a loser in elections. You think of Trump lost this last one. He would have just accepted it.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (43:57)

Probably not.

Bill Maher (43:58)

Yeah, right.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (43:59)

I don't think that's a right issue. I think that's just a Trump issue.

Nelk Boys Host (44:03)

Trump is like, if J.D.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (44:04)

Vance loses, if he runs next year, he'll probably shake hands and move on like a gentleman. But it's Trump.

Bill Maher (44:09)

That's possible.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (44:10)

That's what you get.

Bill Maher (44:11)

That's possible. But Trump is the right now.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (44:15)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (44:15)

So I don't.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (44:16)

I think that's just a Trump issue. That's. That's just what you get.

Bill Maher (44:19)

That's a very. That's a very sanguine way to look at it. You're. You're. I mean, you. That's possible. I'm not gonna say that's not possible, but. But expecting a very rosy future based on that. That may not be pretty, let's say.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (44:35)

You know, respectful, obviously, like the way she handled it. But let's say it was like that Ilhan Omar girl that ran or something. She's not going to be the or aoc. I bet I could see them saying it was rigged too, or something. Or having, like a bit of a hissy fit. Ilhan Omar would not accept the results.

Bill Maher (44:53)

Is not going to be the Democratic nominee for president.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (44:56)

But I'm saying there's different people in each parties that a little bit of a fuss if they don't win, a.

Bill Maher (45:00)

Little bit of a fuss is different than what they have done, what they tried to do in 2020. And by the way, he knows that.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:08)

What's. Yeah, it's. It's Trump.

Bill Maher (45:10)

He's. He's.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:11)

He's a different type of guy.

Bill Maher (45:12)

Right. The private guy knows that.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (45:13)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (45:14)

All right. I got to do my other show.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:18)

Well, this is awesome having you.

Bill Maher (45:19)

I appreciate it.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:20)

Sit down with you and just get absolutely the free knowledge and wisdom.

Bill Maher (45:23)

Basketball injury. So that's what I'm going to.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:25)

Oh, basketball injury. Ball injury.

Bill Maher (45:27)

Pump. Yeah. You know.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:30)

How'd you injure it? You know, just the jam.

Bill Maher (45:32)

Ah, the pros are always. Yeah. Because then it's like, it's. It's funny. It doesn't hurt, but it like, it's got that. Unless you put the splint on, it's going to be like that for, like, life.

Additional Nelk Boys Member (45:44)

Yeah.

Bill Maher (45:44)

It's the tendon that's the worst injury. It's the worst because I can't play.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:48)

Oh, true.

Bill Maher (45:48)

Actually, I was out there yesterday just playing lefty. Damn, it's tough.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:52)

Just passing and.

Bill Maher (45:53)

No, I was just, you know, a.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (45:55)

Couple left hand layers working on.

Bill Maher (45:57)

I can shoot, like a short hook shot lefty and I can, of course, shoot a lefty layup. You can always make a. Always make a positive out of a negative. If I come out of this, like, better with going to my left, which I should, with all the trading I'd be putting, then I'm gonna look on the bright side.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (46:16)

That's a great way to end it.

Bill Maher (46:17)

All right.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (46:17)

Thank you, Billy.

Bill Maher (46:18)

Pleasure. Thank you for having me on.

Kyle (Nelk Boys Member) (46:20)

It was awesome.

Bill Maher (46:22)

It.