
Hosted by Steve Bennet-Martin · EN
gAy A delivers inspiring stories about queer people in sobriety who are achieving amazing feats in their recovery, proving that we are all LGBTQIA+ sober heroes.
If you are looking for a safe space where all queer people, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, age, length of sober time, or method of recovery are valid, this is the sober show for you. If you are sober, you are a hero!
This show is not affiliated with any program or institution, so you will hear stories from alcoholics and addicts where people mention getting sober using recovery methods such as rehabilitation, both inpatient and outpatient rehabs, sober living, hospitals, and some of us who got sober at home on our own. Guests may mention twelve step programs like AA, CMA, SMART Recovery, or other methods, while accepting that no one answer is perfect for everyone.
This podcast will provide valuable insights for any interested in learning more about queer recovery, from those of us with years or even decades of recovery under their belt, to people just beginning their sobriety journey, to even the sober curious or friends and family of alcoholics and addicts.
Each week, host Sober Steve the Podcast Guy tries to answer the following questions in various formats and with different perspectives:
· How do I get and stay sober in the queer community?
· Can you have fun while being sober and gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or queer?
· What does a sober life as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community look like?
· Where do sober gay and queer people hang out?
· How can I have good sex sober?
· What are tips and tricks for early sobriety?
· How can I get unstuck or out of this rut in my recovery?
· How will my life change if I get sober?
· Can you be queer and sober and happy?
· How can I untangle sex and alcohol and drugs?

Send us Fan MailHey Super Sober Heroes— I’m back with another special update, this time joined by my longtime friend and guest, Phil from Here Queer Sober.Phil shares the exciting news about the first-ever Here Queer Sober Roundup, happening next month in New York City at the Marriott Marquis. What started as a small Facebook group in February 2024 has grown into a vibrant community of 2,200+ queer sober members—and now they’re bringing that energy into an in-person celebration of recovery, resilience, and connection.In this episode, we talk about: 🌈 The growth of Here Queer Sober from a handful of members to a global community. 🗽 What to expect at the 2025 Roundup in NYC—two full programming tracks for both 12-steppers and alternative recovery pathways. 💌 Why spaces like this matter, especially when queer communities continue to face discrimination and erasure. 🤝 How inclusivity—whether you’re in recovery, sober by choice, or simply curious—is at the heart of this event.Even if you can’t make it to New York, you’ll hear how Here Queer Sober is creating a safe, uplifting space where all letters of the LGBTQIA+ rainbow and all recovery journeys are respected.👉 Ready to register? Don’t wait—spots are almost full! Sign up now at: herequeersober.org/hqs-roundup-2025And if you just want to stay connected, you can join the Here Queer Sober Facebook Group or reach out directly to Phil at phil@herequeersober.orgUntil next time—stay sober, friends. 💪🌈Support the show

Send us Fan MailHey Super Sober Heroes— I’m back on the mic with a long-overdue update!It’s been almost six months since my last episode, and so much has happened in my life and recovery journey. As of August 18, 2025, I’m 1,543 days sober, and I’m grateful for a listener message that reminded me just how much this podcast still matters.In this episode, I share:Why I paused the show and how I’ve been learning to set healthier boundaries.The powerful impact of working not one, but two 12-step programs.Rebuilding relationships with family and creating new ones through faith and community.Navigating major life changes, including separation, a new relationship, and growing into alignment with my values.How my recovery journey led to unexpected doors opening—like starting my fitness business, deepening my coaching practice, and stepping into new opportunities.This isn’t a “weekly return” just yet, but it is a promise that the show isn’t going away forever. Think of it as a check-in, a reminder that sometimes we need to pause and regroup, but that doesn’t mean we’re done.If this podcast has meant something to you, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out anytime at: 📧 bettersrq@gmail.com 📱 Instagram: @gayapodcastYour words keep this community alive. Thank you for walking with me on this journey—and until next time, stay sober, friends.Support the show

Send us Fan MailHey there, Super Sober Heroes 💖It’s your host, Sober Steve, checking in with 1,397 days of sobriety and a big announcement: gAy A is going on an indefinite hiatus.After nearly four amazing years, 225+ episodes, and hundreds of powerful stories from across the queer sober spectrum, it’s time for me to shift my energy inward—toward my local community in Sarasota, Florida.When I launched gAy A at just 90 days sober, I couldn’t find the kind of podcast I needed—so I made it. Now, there are so many incredible queer sober podcasts out there, and I’m proud to have been part of this growing movement.This isn’t goodbye forever—just a "ta-ta for now" (TTFN). The podcast feed isn’t going anywhere. The archive is packed with vulnerable, empowering, inspiring interviews from our incredible community. So if you're new here, or if you’ve missed a few episodes along the way, this is a perfect time to catch up.Stay Connected:🧠 Follow my personal journey: @JustSteveSRQ 🎧 Explore the full archive: 225+ episodes of queer sober inspirationSupport the show

Send us Fan MailSuper Sober Heroes, we’re back with another in-person interview, and this week, I’m sitting down with my friend Dillon! 🏳️🌈💜 Dillon opens up about his journey to sobriety, how a birthday wake-up call led him to quit drinking, and the powerful role of resilience in his recovery.We talk about:✨ The moment he knew he had to change✨ How sobriety has transformed his life and relationships✨ Finding strength in grief after loss✨ Navigating the queer community as a sober person✨ His go-to mindset shifts & coping strategiesDillon’s story is a reminder that it gets better—and that we are stronger than we ever imagined. 💪Listen now on all podcasting platforms! 🎧✨📲 Follow Dillon: @OGDillyDilly91📲 Follow gAy A Podcast: @gAyApodcast#QueerSobriety #SoberQueer #LGBTQRecovery #SoberLife #RecoveryJourney #QueerCommunity #GriefAndRecovery #ItGetsBetter #SoberCurious #GaySobrietySupport the show

Send us Fan MailHey there, Super Sober Heroes! Your host Sober Steve is here with 1,357 days sober, and this episode is extra special because we are recording in person for the first time! I’m thrilled to welcome India X Miller, a powerful advocate, trans activist, and sober warrior who has been navigating the world of recovery for over 40 years.India shares their incredible journey of sobriety, from getting clean as a teenager to experiencing relapse and reclaiming their recovery. We talk about the unique challenges of being trans and sober, the fight for LGBTQ+ rights in Florida, and how to stay strong and connected in recovery despite all the obstacles.From navigating gender identity to breaking barriers in 12-step spaces, India opens up about resilience, authenticity, and fighting for visibility and acceptance in both recovery and the world at large.✨ Topics Covered:India’s journey through addiction, relapse, and long-term sobrietyThe power of visibility as a trans person in recoveryHow to navigate religious trauma in 12-step spacesThe importance of gender-inclusive language in recoveryFinding strength in community and creating LGBTQ+ safe spacesIndia’s work in media & advocacy, including their radio showConnect with India X Miller:📲 Instagram: @IndiaXMiller📲 Tik-Tok: @IndiaXMiller📻 Radio Show: Trans Cis Her on WSLR (WSLR Website)Want More Queer Sober Community?🌈 Join Here Queer Sober! We’re hosting a sober LGBTQ+ conference in NYC this September! Connect, learn, and celebrate with us. Learn More & Register Here🔗 Follow gAy A on Instagram: @gAyApodcast🎧 New episodes drop every Thursday! Hit subscribe so you never miss a show.💬 Have a topic or guest suggestion? DM me on Instagram or email gayapodcast@gmail.com!Thank you for tuning in, and remember: Stay queer. Stay sober. Stay unapologetically YOU. 💖✨Support the show

Send us Fan MailSuper Sober Heroes, we're back for Part 2 with Phil B, co-founder of Here Queer Sober! 🎉 And this time, we’re shaking things up—AI is asking the questions!Phil and I tackle some of the biggest misconceptions and deeper truths about queer sobriety, including:✨ Can queer and sober people actually have fun? (Spoiler: YES.)✨ What’s it like dating and navigating relationships in sobriety?✨ How do chosen families evolve in recovery?✨ What’s one piece of wisdom we wish we knew in our first year?✨ How to respond when someone says, ‘I can’t imagine being queer and sober.’Plus, we chat more about the first-ever Hear Queer Sober Conference coming September 27-29, 2024, in NYC—and how you can be part of it! 🌈✨Resources & Links:📍 Register for the Here Queer Sober Conference:➡️ Find the link pinned in the Here Queer Sober Facebook Group📧 Email Phil at philip@hearqueersober.org📢 Want to lead a workshop or panel?🎤 DM me on Instagram @gAyApodcast📍 Follow Phil & Here Queer Sober:📲 Instagram: @herequeersober🎧 Listen now & join the conversation! And as always—stay sober, friends. 💖✨Support the show

Send us Fan MailSuper Sober Heroes, welcome back! Today, I’m joined once again by my dear friend and co-founder of Here Queer Sober, Phil B! With 7 years, 9 months, and 24 days sober, Phil shares about his whirlwind year—completing his master’s degree in counseling, navigating job offers, moving into his own apartment, and embracing the next chapter of his recovery and career.We also dive into:✨ The big life transitions that tested his recovery—and how he stayed grounded✨ Balancing sobriety & career in addiction counseling✨ Finding the right meeting routine after so much change✨ The first-ever Here Queer Sober Conference (coming September 27-29, 2024) and how you can get involved!Phil reminds us that sobriety isn’t about avoiding life—it’s about showing up fully, embracing change, and creating something meaningful. 🌈💪Resources & Links:📍 Register for the Here Queer Sober Conference:➡️ Find the link pinned in the Here Queer Sober Facebook Group📧 Email Phil at philip@herequeersober.org📢 Want to lead a workshop or panel?🎤 DM me on Instagram @gAyApodcast📍 Follow Phil & Here Queer Sober:📲 Instagram: @herequeersober🎧 Listen now & get ready for part two with Phil coming soon! And as always—stay sober, friends. 💖✨Support the show

Send us Fan MailIn this episode of Gay A: The Queer Sober Hero Show, host Steve is joined by the amazing Holland, who shares his journey to recovery, approach to spirituality, and how sobriety has transformed his life. Holland, who celebrates a sobriety date of February 2, 2022, opens up about growing up in Hawaii and Alaska, their struggles with addiction, and finding their way back to recovery after a series of challenges. Holland also discusses the importance of service, humility, and staying connected to their queer and recovery communities.Key Topics Discussed:Holland’s early years in Hawaii and Alaska and their experience with addiction starting at a young age.The challenges of balancing recovery and spirituality and how embracing ambiguity with their higher power has been a game-changer.How sobriety has allowed them to process big feelings and lean on tools like therapy, service, and community connection.The power of service in recovery, from giving rides to newcomers to being active in the service structure of AA.Navigating friendships, relationships, and dating as a queer person in recovery and the importance of setting boundaries and standards.Holland’s daily practices for maintaining sobriety, including meditation, gratitude, and embracing humility in their professional and personal life.A focus on progress over perfection and the mantra, “Let go, let God,” that keeps them grounded.Memorable Quotes:“Being sober means I get to feel all the big feelings and then rely on tools to not do the crazy next steps.”“I never want to be too big to clean up chairs because that’s where I meet future sponsees.”“You don’t have to pay back taxes for the person you were. You deserve good things now.”Resources Mentioned:Book: Every Feeling Is Big – A poetry book about heartbreak and relationships in recovery. [Available on Amazon.]Stay Connected:Follow us on Instagram @gAyApodcast for updates, behind-the-scenes content, and more.Support the show

Send us Fan MailEpisode Highlights🌍 Traveling Sober & Building Community:Johnny shares how he founded Sober Gay Adventures, offering intimate, 10-day trips for queer sober travelers to explore the world with accountability and connection. His goal was to create meaningful travel experiences for those in recovery, providing fellowship in small groups across the globe.🏳️🌈 Embracing Queer Joy:Johnny talks about loving the vibrant, campy, and dramatic aspects of queer culture and how that community connection has deepened in his sobriety.💔 Navigating Loss & Addiction:Johnny opens up about how the sudden passing of his best friend led to years of heavy drinking and eventual morning drinking. His breaking point came after a health scare that led him to fully commit to recovery.🛠️ Sobriety Tools:Johnny highlights the importance of daily meetings, meditation, gratitude lists, and building authentic connections as essential tools in his recovery.🌿 Sober Gay Adventures in 2025:Johnny shares upcoming travel experiences including:London to Paris: Iconic city exploration with day trips to Stonehenge and Mont-Saint-Michel.Italy Tour: Rome, Florence, Venice with immersive food tours and Tuscany day trips.Crete, Greece Retreat: A yoga and meditation retreat with daily excursions, evening sharing circles, and themed celebrations.Connect with Johnny🔗 Website: sobergayadventures.com📸 Instagram: @sobergayadventures📘 Facebook: Sober Gay AdventuresStay Connected with gAy A📲 Follow us on Instagram: @gAyApodcast💌 Want to share your story or ask a question? Send a DM on Instagram or visit sobersteve.com to guest or connect!🎧 New episodes every Thursday!Until next time, stay sober, friends! 🌈✨Support the show

Send us Fan MailSuper Sober Heroes, today I’m joined by Adam Schuler, a writer and advocate for addiction recovery, who shares his powerful journey through relapse, resilience, and ultimately rediscovering joy in sobriety.Adam gets candid about: ✨ The role of relapse in his recovery journey—and why it's not a failure, but a teacher ✨ How connection & community helped him finally break free from addiction ✨ The unexpected realization that changed his recovery: joy matters ✨ His approach to structure, accountability, and rebuilding a sober life ✨ How writing became his creative outlet and a tool for healingPlus, we talk about his new book, Trudge: The Road to Happy Destiny 📖, a collection of parables, prose, and meditations on addiction and recovery.Resources & Links:📚 Check out Adam’s book: Trudge: The Road to Happy Destiny ➡️ Available on Amazon (Kindle & Paperback)📚 Upcoming Memoir: Adam and Everything—Coming March 2024!📲 Follow Adam on Instagram: @adamschulerwrites🎧 Listen now & join the conversation! And as always—stay sober, friends. 💖✨Support the show