Podcast Summary: Gayish - Episode 371: Pubic Hair

Podcast: Gayish
Episode: 371 – Pubic Hair
Hosts: Mike Johnson & Kyle Getz
Release Date: February 1, 2024
Main Theme: This episode takes a hairy deep-dive into the world of pubic hair—its biology, history, cultural associations, personal preferences, and the surprisingly complex role it plays in queer and straight communities. Mike and Kyle bring their classic blend of humor, insight, and sex positivity to one of their most irreverent topics yet.

Episode Overview

The hosts use their trademark banter to dissect everything there is to know about pubic hair—why we have it, why some people love it or loathe it, and how hair (or the lack of it) ties into sex, stereotypes, and self-image across the LGBTQ+ spectrum (and beyond). Backed by scientific studies, pop culture references, and personal anecdotes, they explore the surprisingly deep and divisive opinions about what’s happening “down there” and challenge some commonly held stereotypes along the way.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lighthearted Start & Framing the Topic

• The episode launches with decidedly nutty jokes and the usual sexual innuendo to break the ice:
  "Get your fingers out of your mouth." – Mike (00:48)
  "I'm picking at my nut." – Kyle (00:49)
• The hosts reflect on why they picked pubic hair as a topic, emphasizing their ongoing mission to smash stereotypes and talk frankly about things gay men actually experience.

2. Queer News Highlights

• Medical Mishaps & the Need for Advocacy:

  • Story of a Canadian gay couple misdiagnosed by a doctor who falsely attributed back pain to HPV.
    "Doctors are sometimes dumb-dumbs too. And sometimes assholes." – Mike (04:10)
  • Emphasis on the need for queer individuals to self-advocate in medical settings.

• Religious Mixed Messages:

  • Discussion of Pope Francis’ controversial statement about blessing same-sex couples but “not the union.”
    "Still horrific and sinful and they're going to hell forever, but let's be nice to them." – Mike (07:51)

• Transphobic Job Posting:

  • A Philadelphia bar seeking "biologically male" bartenders prompted community outrage and a legal investigation.
    "You need your dick to stir up the drinks?" – Kyle (09:56)

3. Biology & History of Pubic Hair

• Unique to Humans:

  • Surprisingly, pubic hair is primarily a human thing; pubic lice are specialized, as their tiny claws cannot grip other types of hair (15:07).

• Development & Science:

  • Pubic hair growth is triggered by testosterone during puberty in all genders.
  • The term for the onset of pubic hair is “pubarche.”
  • Odd but real word: "Pubiphilia" — intense attraction to pubic hair.

• Notable Quote:
  "There's a science word for when you start to get pubic hair. It's called pubarche." – Mike (16:41)

4. Cultural & Historical Perspectives

• Dramatic literary and historical reactions to pubic hair shared, including from Memoirs of Dolly Morton:
  "I've never seen such a fleece between a woman's legs in my life. Darn me if she wouldn't have to be sheared before a man could get into her." (20:20)

• The hosts save an 1800s anecdote involving John Ruskin’s infamous reaction to pubic hair for the Patreon segment (19:28).

5. Stats & Surveys: How Common Are Pubes?

• Trimming, Shaving, Keeping:

  • Only 5% of gay men and 8% of straight men are fully shaved/waxed.
  • 22% of lesbians and 23% of straight women keep it fully bare.
  • Majority of gay men (69%) and straight men (61%) prefer to trim rather than remove everything.
  • Lesbians are more likely than straight women to have a “full bush” (24% vs. 17%).

• Preferences for Sexual Partners:

  • 51% of gay men and 59% of lesbians say they won’t have oral sex with an ungroomed partner.
  • For penetrative sex, about 27% of gay men and 33% of lesbians have the same preference.

• Injury Note:

  • A spike in ER visits for hair grooming mishaps since 2000, including a firsthand anecdote of a frat brother slicing his ball sack before a formal (29:04).

Notable Quote with Statistics (23:51):

"So more straight men than gay men are fully… It's probably their lady friends that are, like, pressuring them into that." – Mike

6. Why Do We Have Pubic Hair? Functions & Theories

• Protection: Acts as a buffer, reducing friction during sex and activity, serving as a “dry lubricant” (35:10).
• Heat Regulation: It may insulate the genitals, which is important for reproduction.
• Microbiome: May help balance good and bad bacteria (especially in people with vaginas), though the evidence is thin.
• Pheromone Dispersal: Hair traps scent molecules to enhance sexual attraction (39:26).
• Sexual Maturity Signal: Marks biological readiness for reproduction.
• Notable Humor:
  "Your horny business makes stinky. That trappy—the stinky make—for other hornies." – Mike (39:19)

7. Cultural Beliefs, Stereotypes, & Sexual Dynamics

• Masculinity, Femininity, and Misogyny:
  Discussion about how societal expectations about hairlessness tie into misogyny and body image for both men and women (32:00).

• Queer Subculture Contrast:

  • Bear culture celebrates hairiness in a way rare among straight communities.

• Notable Quote (about bear culture):
  "Bear culture, of like, let's embrace the hairy—I don't see that as being a thing that straights would do at all." – Mike (32:45)

8. Pros & Cons: To Shave or Not to Shave?

• Reasons to Remove:
  • Cleanliness, partner preference, belief that it’s more attractive or hygienic (though this is largely a myth).
• Reasons to Keep:
  • Reduces risk of skin irritation, micro-cuts (potentially reducing STI risk), less expense, and (often overlooked) medical simplicity: “There’s actually no medical reason to remove it.” (44:09)
• Possible Downsides:
  • Shaving raises risk for folliculitis, ingrown hairs, other irritation, and even more ER visits (45:10).

9. Slang for Pubic Hair

• The duo gleefully lists their 20 favorite slang terms for pubic hair, including:
  • Bush, Muff, Lady Garden, Fur Burger, Junk Forest, Panty Hamster (“That’s a good one”), Love Rug, Bikini Lawn, Bald Eagle, the Fringe, and more. (49:00)

10. Community Voices & Reddit Opinions

• Dive into r/askgaybros for real opinions on pubic hair among gay men:
  • Most popular answer: Trimmed is hottest, but “absolutely hot” to have hair.
  • Shaved is often a turnoff unless you’re an “uber twink.”
  • Some express a strong aversion to body hair due to texture (neurodivergence is posited as a possible cause).
  • “Full bush” lovers are rare, but they exist and are vocal.

Notable Reddit Quote (most upvoted, paraphrased at 51:37):

"Absolutely hot. I adore everything about my husband, including his hair."

11. Personal Preferences

• Mike prefers the "trim but not too much" approach; Kyle agrees but is flexible. Mike confesses to using kitchen shears; both reminisce about the one time they went completely hairless as teens—neither would do it again due to itch and irritation (60:22).
• Mike: Not particularly hairy, so less pressure to trim.
• Kyle: Trims when there’s a chance of action but lets it go during dry spells, defending his choice as self-love.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On doctors and queer self-advocacy:
  "Doctors are sometimes dumb-dumbs too. And sometimes assholes." – Mike (04:10)

• Pheromone transmission theory:
  "Your horny business makes stinky. That trappy—the stinky make—for other hornies." – Mike (39:19)

• On injury risk:
  "There was this time in college… he was going to trim and cut his ball sack open and had to be taken to the emergency room." – Mike (29:04)

• On pubic hair's role:
  "There's actually no medical reason to remove it." – Kyle (44:09)

• On slang terms:
  "Panty hamster, which I think is my favorite. And I think we should try to get the gays to use that one." – Mike (49:49)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening banter and topic announcement: 00:23 – 01:10
• Queer news: 02:04 – 12:15
• Pubic Hair 101 – Biology & Pubarche: 13:20 – 18:41
• History and statistics: 20:31 – 27:00
• Surveys and sexual preferences: 23:39 – 28:54
• Injury risks and anecdote: 29:00 – 30:22
• Gay/straight cultural perspectives: 32:00 – 35:06
• What do pubes do? Theories: 35:10 – 39:26
• Psychology and preferences: 53:09 – 55:33
• Slang time: 47:14 – 50:38
• Reddit reactions: 50:48 – 54:12
• Personal preferences and experiences: 56:03 – 61:16
• Gays & straightest, local gay bar review: 64:41 – 67:31

Conclusion & Takeaways

• There is more overlap between gay and straight attitudes towards pubic hair than most assume—straight men are even slightly more likely to go fully hairless!
  "Surprising that straight men have more... are more likely to lop it off." – Kyle (62:19)
• Body hair preferences are deeply personal and shaped heavily by culture, subculture, and (sometimes) neurology.
• No one answer is 'right': From historic art scandals to ER mishaps to Reddit threads, pubic hair is a microcosm of broader social anxieties about bodies, sex, and identity.
  "There’s actually no medical reason to remove it. Mostly, just do what feels good for you." – Kyle (44:09)

Listener Engagement

• Listeners are encouraged to send “pube pics” (jokingly), share their trimming strategies, tell their own stories, and let Mike and Kyle know their preferences.

Memorable Closing Banter

“Is pubic hair gay?” – Kyle
“Apparently just slightly gayer than straight. So, yes.” – Mike (61:32)

For more: Listen to Gayish Podcast, Episode 371—where everyone with a panty hamster, love rug, or bush is celebrated.