Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:00]
A
You probably know that reassurance seeking is a safety behavior that people do, but you might not realize all of the ways that it can show up or that you're even doing it in the first place. I'm Dr. Patrick McGrath, Chief Clinical Officer at NOCD, and I'm excited to be with you here to talk about how reassurance sneaks in, into your life, kind of snakes in there and tries to get into all the nooks and crannies for you to constantly be seeking it so that it can satisfy ocd. Even though we know OCD is unsatisfiable, reassurance is one of the most common forms of safety behaviors that we see in obsessive compulsive disorder. It can be really subtle, it can be easy to miss. Even for people who know about it as being a safety behavior or who have been in OCD treatment for years. Recognizing these different forms of reassurance seeking is a key step in actually doing good exposure and response prevention therapy. So how do we do it? Well, we might do some self assurance. We might keep telling ourselves, I'm not that person. In response to some kind of intrusive thought. We might replay memories that counteract bad thoughts. We could do compulsive repeating of mantras. When fears or obsessions, intrusive thoughts or images or urges arise. Even though we know it's not healthy, we can continue to keep doing it, right? It can feel good to engage in practices where we're telling ourselves it will be okay, but that's just for a moment that we get that relief, and then that cycle seems to start all over again. Instead, what do we want to do? Well, we want to help people to engage in practices that build self confidence, right? We don't want just people having to repeat affirmations over and over again. Because if you have to keep doing that and telling yourself that, do you actually believe them after a while? Instead, we want people to be able to do a good response prevention exercise, allow themselves to be with doubt and uncertainty, and learn that they can handle that. If you're teaching your brain that you can't trust yourself to handle discomfort without reassuring yourself you're not really helping yourself, and your OCD will actually take advantage of that and you will probably see it get worse instead of better. There's other sneaky ways that reassurance happens too. Maybe you ask different people the same question until you get the answer you want. But of course, that answer is never fulfilling enough. When you have ocd, you may ask the same person again because you didn't like the first answer they gave and it didn't quite stick. Or you might even be asking the person the same question over and over, hoping if I get a slightly different answer this time than last time, then that opens the door to say, wait a minute, that was a little different than before. Why did you answer different this time? And that could lead to hours of discussion about that. Maybe you go online and you search Reddit or Google or ask certain programs about specific fears or concerns, and maybe you even go online to ask other people the same questions over and over, right? By putting these things out there, are we really helping ourselves or are we just trying to satisfy ocd? And OCD says the most important thing in the world is to of course satisfy ocd, but that's what keeps you stuck in ocd. We want you to be able to live with doubt and live with uncertainty. Even watch maybe indirect ways that you might bring things up to see if people will kind of go there to give you some kind of answer that you would like to get. Now I want people in your life to support you where you can share experiences, process emotions, feel connected. I don't want them giving you reassurance, trying to help you eliminate any kind of uncertainty or fear that you have. Oh, that's OCD or anxiety related. You can watch conversations change, right? Here's some key signs to look for in differences. Does this thing feel really urgent, like you have to get this other person's opinion or something terribly bad or awful will happen. You'll be unable to withstand the uncertainty. You'll be constantly looking for reassurance. Then if that's the case, does this support offer long term relief instead of the immediate gratification that we might get from it? We know that compulsions and other safety behaviors only offer short term relief, but support might work toward that more long term. Feeling better in the future, learning that I can handle not being 100% certain. Things don't have to be perfect. Those are the solutions that we want people to work toward instead of what feels good right now. Do you need to ask so many people or check so many things? Or is it okay with getting one opinion and then just moving on? That would be the goal of something you would probably want to work toward. I know that reassurance can feel like relief in the moment, but it actually reinforces the OCD cycle. And each answer that you get kind of raises the bar for the next one. And now I need more and more. One thing that I say to people is reassurance is kind of like a drug. You, you build up a tolerance to it, and every day you need a little bit more than you got the day before in order to feel the same that you did the day before. When you spot how reassurance is interfering in your life and actually maintaining your ocd, I think you'll start to feel better because you'll recognize that you don't need to go down the OCD and reassurance road. Instead, you're learning to live with doubt and uncertainty, which you probably do in many other areas of your life that OCD isn't concerned about. I just want you to apply how you live the rest of your life to what OCD says is a very different thing, which is an OCD lie, because it actually isn't. Sitting with uncertainty is hard, but it's how you start to feel more grounded in who you are. It's just not the latest answer you get. It's an answer that you learn to live with and be with. Our therapist can help you identify reassurance seeking patterns, even the ones you might not be aware of. And they can help you work through them using specialized exposure and response prevention therapy exercises to help you tolerate whatever discomfort you have without turning outward or inward. For other forms of reassurance. If you're interested in getting help with that, check us out@nocd.com that's N O C dad. Com, where we have people waiting to talk to you. Our care team is standing by to take a call. It's a free 15 minute call and we can help set you up with a licensed therapist in your area who is expertly trained in OCD and erp. We hope to see you soon so that you can live the life you want to live and not the life that OCD wants you to live. Thanks.