Giggling about bologna, poison, and ponzi schemes

Summary

---

Giggly Squad: Giggling about Bologna, Poison, and Ponzi Schemes

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Date: May 1, 2026
Episode Theme:
This episode of Giggly Squad is as unfiltered and chaotic as ever, featuring Hannah and Paige riffing on everything from plastic surgery consultations and awkward dirty talk moments to true crime stories, grilled cheese disasters, and their infamous alphabet faceoff over the spelling of “baloney.” The women’s trademark combination of pop culture commentary, self-deprecation, and wild diversions offers fans both hilarity and honesty. They dig into friendship dynamics, dating rules, the politics of country music, and even the ethics of eating meat—all with plenty of giggles along the way.

---

Segment Breakdown & Key Insights

1. Mormon Show Gossip & Making New Friends

Timestamps: 01:49 – 03:11

• Hannah updates listeners on the “new Mormon show” and how not all of the cast are actually Mormon. She reveals she's received DMs from Macy (of the show) about possibly playing tennis together.
• The hosts compare the kinds of DMs they receive, with Paige noting hers are more about personal health (like UTIs), and Hannah’s about tennis and podcast bits.
• Notable moment: The relatable awkwardness of making new adult friends.
  Quote:

"I'm 34. I don't know how to make new friends." — Hannah (02:22)

---

2. Navigating Awkward Dirty Talk

Timestamps: 03:11 – 04:27

• Paige shares a Giggler's DM: what to do if you can’t hear a guy’s dirty talk in bed.
• They joke about giving noncommittal responses (“mm”) and riff on how most of the time it won’t be something too wild.
• Quick, classic Paige overshare:
  Quote:

"I mean, I think we're all alluding to anal. Here we are. What are we? Two minutes into the episode and you've brought up anal." — Hannah (04:11)

---

3. Microneedling Journey & Beauty Banter

Timestamps: 04:27 – 10:09

• Paige details her positive experience with RF microneedling, praising her doctor’s aesthetic and bedside manner.
• Detailed comparison of pain versus laser hair removal and waxing.
• Paige on complimenting strangers and appreciation for professionals who “embody their job.”
• Tangent into the authenticity of male versus female plastic surgeons.
• Hannah shouts out a Giggler who said “Women in STEM” after a sexual act (08:53 — a segment highlight).
• Takeaway: Honest beauty talk and women hyping up women.

Quotes:

"Her outfit, her skin, everything about you... I just felt good." — Paige on her doctor (05:44)
"Women in STEM." — Anonymous Giggler story, relayed by Hannah (08:46)

---

4. Pop Culture Fails & Reality TV Reflections

Timestamps: 10:09 – 12:08

• Paige recounts when Page Six misquoted her bit about Khloe Kardashian’s perfume—only to find out it was actually a hair mist—which Khloe herself noticed and commented on.
• The hosts riff on celebrity “auras” and how some celebrities (Khloe) simply “smell expensive.”
• They poke fun at how media portrays their podcast out of context.

---

5. Baloney, Spelling Bee, and PMS Truths

Timestamps: 12:08 – 16:16

• Hannah tries to revive the insult “baloney.”
• Hilarious and extended back-and-forth spelling struggle over how to spell “baloney/bologna.”
• The segment devolves into discussions about getting their periods (and syncing up with listeners), PMSing, and partners’ cluelessness.
• Paige jokes about how widespread PMS could be considered a “Ponzi scheme” (14:03).

Quotes:

"Do you know why I have my period? ... That means the gigglers have synced up, and that's actually a Ponzi scheme." — Paige (14:03)

---

6. Reality TV Strategy & Paige’s Poker Face

Timestamps: 16:16 – 19:00

• Hannah analyzes Paige’s reality show “strategy” of saying little in dramatic moments, only to deliver the tea in confessionals.
• Paige reveals she was often actually “spacing out,” sometimes due to something trivial like eyelash discomfort.
• The women joke about “tells” in their reality TV wardrobes (e.g., “I have to look virginal, I have to look bridal”).

---

7. Wild Ideas: Nursing Home Reality TV

Timestamps: 19:00 – 24:13

• Paige discusses a TV pitch about a reality show in a nursing home and how networks don’t think people want to watch “old people” on TV.
• The hosts contest that perspective, suggesting the drama would be golden and comparing it to “Below Deck” but set in a nursing home.
• The conversation morphs into personal stories about sending friends “scientific” articles about dating and hormones.

Quotes:

"That's the reality show I want to watch — seeing who Gertrude is going to fudge." — Hannah (19:46)

---

8. Snacktime Fails: Grilled Cheese & Stove Dangers

Timestamps: 26:30 – 28:38

• Paige confesses to leaving the stove on all night after making a grilled cheese—a “near-death” domestic fail.
• Discussion on risk of “carbon monoxide poisoning” and accidental self-poisoning, which Paige equates to a woman surviving repeated comedic murder attempts.
• The conversational, confessional banter is peak Giggly Squad chaos.

---

9. True Crime: Ponzi Schemes & Old Lady Poisoners

Timestamps: 29:01 – 31:03

• Hannah recounts a documentary about an elderly woman in Argentina who poisoned friends in her tea circle to avoid paying back loans—a “Ponzi scheme within her mahjong group.”
• The story fascinates both hosts and leads to jokes about women doing crime “tastefully.”

---

10. Country Music, Gender Politics, & Nepo Babies

Timestamps: 31:03 – 34:52

• They discuss Lainey Wilson’s documentary, gender barriers in country music, and why “genres for men” makes no sense.
• Riffs on Nepo babies like Zoe Kravitz and what makes a real “A list” celebrity in the era of podcasting.
• Quick takes on Beyoncé’s foray into country, and the implicit rules keeping women out.

Quotes:

"Who decided a genre of music was for men?" — Paige (32:13)
"We're losing the art of A list. And I...that's sad to me." — Paige (34:22)

---

11. Dating Etiquette: Friends & Exes

Timestamps: 34:52 – 40:19

• Is there an expiration date on when it’s okay for a friend to date your ex?
• Paige says every situation is unique; Hannah emphasizes pride and not wanting to be “chosen second.”
• Real talk about “second wife energy,” dating after divorce, and how competitive instincts impact dating decisions.

Quotes:

“My competitiveness has gotten me in some pickles in dating.” — Paige (40:10)
“Never be chosen second.” — Hannah (40:00)

---

12. Animal Ethics, Food, and Vegetarian “PR”

Timestamps: 47:29 – 50:13

• Discussion: “Can you love animals and eat them?” sparked by Billie Eilish’s statement.
• Hannah confesses to self-deception about eating meat, and Paige expresses practical concerns over nutrition.
• Both women joke about the “bad PR” of vegetarianism and feminism, wishing for more coherent messaging.

---

13. Final Giggles: Baloney Rematch, Friendship as a Tag Team Sport

Timestamps: 51:39 – 54:52

• Extended, light-hearted callback to their baloney spelling debate.
• The women reflect on supporting each other during relationship fights—Hannah likens herself to Paige’s “boxing coach.”
• Laughter about overhearing each other’s fights and want to “tag in.”

---

14. Chaotic Meetings & Hectic Zooms

Timestamps: 54:52 – end

• Closing stories about being unprepared for work meetings, classic Elle Woods references (“I was unaware there was an assignment”), and the anxiety of showing up to class without having done the reading.
• The episode ends warmly, as always, with gratitude for the listeners and the signature Giggly Squad signoff.

---

Most Memorable Quotes

• “I'm 34. I don't know how to make new friends.” — Hannah (02:22)
• “I think we're all alluding to anal. Here we are. What are we? Two minutes into the episode and you've brought up anal.” — Hannah (04:11)
• “Women in STEM.” — Anonymous Giggler story, relayed by Hannah (08:46)
• “That's the reality show I want to watch—seeing who Gertrude is going to fudge.” — Hannah (19:46)
• “That's actually a Ponzi scheme.” — Paige, on synced periods (14:03)
• “My competitiveness has gotten me in some pickles in dating.” — Paige (40:10)
• “Never be chosen second.” — Hannah (40:00)
• “Their PR is bad. It's all over the place. It's a damn mess.” — Paige, on vegetarians (50:10)

---

Flow & Tone

• Chaotic, friendly, over-sharing — Hannah and Paige bounce between quick-witted jokes, meandering personal confessions, and incisive takes on broader cultural issues.
• The conversation is highly relatable, especially for millennial women navigating friendships, dating, societal expectations, and the pressure to “have it all together” in your 30s.
• Self-deprecation is the throughline; both hosts openly poke fun at themselves, each other, and the world around them.

---

Useful for Listeners Who Missed the Episode:

• You'll laugh: at the randomness of grilled cheese misadventures and alphabet faceoffs.
• You'll relate: if you’ve ever faked hearing dirty talk, resented being misquoted, or struggled to spell “baloney.”
• You'll think: about how we talk about women’s lives, relationships, food ethics, and why “bad PR” can ruin otherwise good causes.

---

In sum: A classic Giggly Squad installment: snappy, honest, at times revealing, and always hilarious. Whether they're interrogating pop culture, confessing to near-arson, or breaking down the friendship code of conduct, Hannah and Paige ensure listeners feel like they’re right there in the room, giggling and rolling their eyes together.

---

Transcript

[Hannah]

I tell myself it's not about comparing. But then I start wondering, what can they lift? Are they adding more weight to their barbell than I am? And suddenly I'm not training. Then I realize my journey is not theirs. I've earned every step. So I smile. My smile is the shape resilience takes to keep me moving. To put more smiles out into the world. Colgate has supported female athletes for over 50 years with the Colgate Women's Games, the nation's longest running indoor track and field series for girls and women. Colgate, your smile is your strength.

[Paige]

Something that can completely change the vibe of getting ready. A signature fragrance, that finishing touch that just makes everything feel a little more put together. That's exactly the feeling behind the Burberry her fragrance collection. Burberry her is the essence of freedom. The thrill of open skies, the joy of self expression and the empowerment of following your own path. The original Burberry her Eau de Parfum is. Is a beautiful fruity fragrance with a British twist. It opens with strawberry, BlackBerry and raspberry, layered with jasmine and violet and finished with warm amber. It's bright, feminine and perfect for everyday wear. All housed in the iconic Burberry her bottle with its signature soft pink tone. And for something a little deeper, there's Burberry her elixir, which builds on those fruity notes with dark red berries, jasmine, vanilla and amber for a scent that feels richer, more sensual, and a little more bold. Discover Burberry her elixir and the original Burberry her Eau de Parfum, now at Ulta Beauty in Store and online. Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix your wi fi.

[Hannah]

Manifest that shit.

[Paige]

We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

[Hannah]

Hello, my guillotine gigglers. Violent for no reason. Quick Mormon update. Apparently the girls in the new Mormon show aren't all Mormon. So people were like telling me that and I was like, how was I supposed to know? It's called the new Mormon Show.

[Paige]

Yeah. Is this a new segment we have weekly? It's like updating the Mormon community.

[Hannah]

Our Mormon correspondents are in my DMs. And then Macy from their Mormon show DM me and was like, hi, girly. We have to play tennis. So I'm in with all the tennis reality girls. Finally, because everyone's like, make friends with Macy. And I'm like, I'm 34. I don't know how to make new friends. And I said, hi, my love.

[Paige]

Did you wait, did she play tennis?

[Hannah]

She's like, really good at tennis and her sister's really good at tennis. Because I get a lot of like, hey, so and so plays tennis. And I'm like, okay, let's. Let's see.

[Paige]

They played so funny. Because my DMS are like, Hey, I get UTIs all the time, too.

[Hannah]

We have such different DMS.

[Paige]

No, we have such different interactions with people.

[Hannah]

But I feel like page coded girls are up in my DMs, be, like, keeping me. They're being like, paige, you hate that

[Paige]

they're trying to lend a helping hand.

[Hannah]

Yeah. So I get both.

[Paige]

They're empathic.

[Hannah]

Oh, God. Actually, I got a really funny DM from a giggler. Because sometimes giggles would be like, this would be a funny bit. Like, you should talk about it. And they said, what do you do when a guy's talking dirty to you, Dirty to you in bed, and you, like, can't really hear what he said? But, like, you can't say what? Because.

[Paige]

Yeah, no, that's what we're saying.

[Hannah]

But, like, you can't just go with it because you don't know what he said. And you don't want to sign up for something you didn't sign up for. What? What's the move? If he's like, yeah, but I just say, mm,

[Paige]

honestly. Because at that point, if I was

[Hannah]

it, no blowing glass.

[Paige]

Because really, like, what are they really gonna do? That's like, crazy. Like, there is such talk. Like, it's 4 minutes and 30 seconds out of your day. Like, what are they really gonna throw at you that you haven't seen before? And, like, I mean, I think we're all alluding to anal. Here

[Hannah]

we are. What are we? Two minutes into the episode and you've brought up anal, but you have time

[Paige]

to be like, hey, I don't swing that way.

[Hannah]

You do. You do. You could be like, I was muffled in the pillow. I thought you said, what rhymes with anal?

[Paige]

I don't know, but I got my microneedling.

[Hannah]

Honey, tell me everything.

[Paige]

So I'm like a couple. I got it at 9:00am this morning and it's 4:00 clock right now.

[Hannah]

You look normal.

[Paige]

I look normal, right?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

It's crazy. I want to say I was red for maybe three hours. I did. It's called RF Micro needling. I went to a doctor. I went to Dr. Umberine Mahmoud. Let me tell you something that I really appreciate in people. I like when I meet someone and they are their profession. Like, when I met this woman, I looked at her and I go, yeah,

[Hannah]

you're you're touching my face.

[Paige]

You're goddamn plastic surgeon. Like, I. And I hope that. That I'm also the type of person that, like, if I feel a compliment in my head, I have to say it. Like. Like, so, like, walking down the street, if I think you have a cool outfit, I'm saying it because I think that, like, builds up your aura points. Like, say it. You know, like, don't keep a compliment in. So, like, whenever I see someone and they're just like, so their profession, like, sometimes Taylor will come to, like, different things we're doing. And I'm like, you look like a makeup artist right now.

[Hannah]

Well, because you love Barbie's different outfits.

[Paige]

It's like when this doctor walked in the room first, when I walked into her office, I was like, yeah, this is where I'm getting freaking micro needling done. Okay. And then when she comes in the room, I was like, hell, yeah. Like, your outfit, your skin, everything about you. Her ring stack. Like, I just felt good.

[Hannah]

Her ring stack, I loved it.

[Paige]

So her aesthetic? Yeah, just her whole aesthetic. I was so proud of her for being a plastic surgeon.

[Hannah]

I'm just laughing because the Groupon places I've been to, you would call the police.

[Paige]

This is literally insane. So, anyway, so I got microneedling done. You go in, they numb your whole face with, like, a cream for, like, 30 minutes. And, I mean, you're numb. Then the procedure takes maybe 15 minutes. It basically feels like they're stamping your skin and, like, you feel it a little bit. But here's what I'll say in terms of pain tolerance. I actually think laser hair removal hurts. Hurts. Do you think it hurts?

[Hannah]

It's definitely not comfortable, but it doesn't hurt compared to waxing.

[Paige]

Okay. This hurts less than laser hair removal, and it's way quicker. They do, like, a pass on your face three times, I would say.

[Hannah]

Does she recommend this over, like, all the laser facials that the girls are doing?

[Paige]

Different. It's different. Like, it gives you different results. Yeah. Like, micro needling, I feel like, is

[Hannah]

for boost of Collagen, but we're 27.

[Paige]

I know.

[Hannah]

Forever.

[Paige]

But here's the other thing why I liked her. Like, when I'm laying in the chair and she's talking to me like, we're talking about, like, girl stuff. Like, we were literally talking about if we wanted to get boob jobs or not.

[Hannah]

She was selling you a boob job?

[Paige]

No, she was saying, like, reasons why. She was like, well, this is, like, reasons why some people don't want to get them. And this is reasons why I personally haven't gotten them. But, like, I do think about it, like, it just felt.

[Hannah]

Because your plastic surgeon at the end of the day is just a girl.

[Paige]

Well, I'm laying there and I'm like, oh, everyone is just a girl. Everyone is just a girl. And we want to talk about girl things.

[Hannah]

Not to come for the men only six minutes into the pod. But, like, when there's a man who does, like, facial surgery, especially who's straight, I'm like, men can't tell if you got a haircut. How are you changing, like, the subtleties of someone's nose?

[Paige]

I don't think I've ever met a man with a nose job.

[Hannah]

They're out there. But not straight men. Because. Because I think a nose that looks kind of broken is, like, considered hot. Yeah. Hot.

[Paige]

Yeah. Well, because remember, like, two summers ago, the guys got rat guy summer, and I'm like,

[Hannah]

oh, that? You see a headline and you go, their PR company's fucking great.

[Paige]

Crazy. Like, they get dad bods. They get rack eye summer. It's like, what do we have?

[Hannah]

Oh, one last Giggler message. She is woman of STEM of the week. She said that she finished giving her boyfriend a blowjob, and after he came, she went, women in stem. And he said, what? And she goes, never mind.

[Paige]

That's hilarious.

[Hannah]

Iconic.

[Paige]

I love that.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Okay, so anyway, so I get the micro needling done, and then they gave me products to use for, like, the next five days. Literally no downtime. If I wanted to put makeup on tonight, I could. It's like a gentle face wash. Like, good moisturizer.

[Hannah]

Want to be. What's it called? The person that does stuff for your face?

[Paige]

Esthetician.

[Hannah]

Esthetician. What's the other one that pops? Pimples.

[Paige]

Dermatologist.

[Hannah]

You want to be it so bad, you're pretending you are one right now and you're loving it. You're like. And then you used to use a light cleanser.

[Paige]

I just love talking about my hobby.

[Hannah]

Okay, sorry, you don't have a passion. If you had a passion.

[Paige]

Yeah. And do you want to know what you have to go for? Three sessions, six weeks in between, and then you don't have to go again for, like, a year or, like, six months. And I'm really excited to see this journey.

[Hannah]

I love how you went from Botox to this. And I really hope in seven months you aren't on Us Weekly being like, don't get micronated.

[Paige]

Wait, did you see page 6? Wrote an article, and then Khloe Kardashian commented it, and I was like, oh, my God.

[Hannah]

What? They write an article, okay.

[Paige]

Page Six wrote an article about how I said Khloe Kardashian's perfume was the best perfume I've ever smelled. And then Chloe commented it, and it was like, oh, my God, this is, like, so nice or something. And then I see the gigglers being like, it's a hair mist. I'm like, the one time I, like, say I like something, and I, like, messed it up, I'm. Page Six needs to get something else needs to happen on reality tv. Like, come on.

[Hannah]

Well, they also like to take things factually when it's. It's full of a. It's a bit. It's full of a bit. You can't just take half of the bit and post it somewhere.

[Paige]

Again, this is my personal diary.

[Hannah]

Well, shout out to clo. Clo. We love you.

[Paige]

No, and I. I'm sure her perfumes are amazing. She is a celebrity. Like, you know when you look at a celebrity and you're like. Like Claire Danes. You look at a celebrity and you're like, there's something about you that I'm scared of, and I don't want to be on your bad side. When I look at Khloe Kardashian, there's something about her that I'm like, I bet your house smells so good.

[Hannah]

Like, I know that for a fact.

[Paige]

There's just something about her where I'm like, I bet she smells so phenomenal.

[Hannah]

Well, I watched her. I re. Watch her Netflix show where they organize her house. Oh.

[Paige]

Oh.

[Hannah]

And she's like. They basically were like, we don't even have to be here because Chloe's already insanely organized, but we're gonna organize her organized house. And when I'm bored and don't want to clean my own house, which is every day, I'll watch organization shows. It's like my version of porn. It's like, I can't do that, but let's watch people who can.

[Paige]

Or, like, it's a version of, like, a motivational speaker.

[Hannah]

Yep. And then I never start the business.

[Paige]

It's your Tony Robbins. Where has he been? People don't talk about him enough.

[Hannah]

Good. Go to sleep.

[Paige]

I feel like there was, like, a time, like, in the early 2000s, late 90s, where there was, like, a lot of male motivational speakers.

[Hannah]

Well, they still are. Now they're podcasters. He has a podcast for sure.

[Paige]

Yeah, that's true.

[Hannah]

I want to Bring back the word baloney. Like, when someone is, like, just, like, full of baloney, it's baloney. Someone says something. Baloney. That's baloney.

[Paige]

Do you remember in high school?

[Hannah]

Say baloney again.

[Paige]

My story is about baloney. Spell it.

[Hannah]

B, A.

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

Okay, there's no pa.

[Paige]

Even I wouldn't have said.

[Hannah]

There's the Italian version, and then the American version. Bologna is B, L, B, A, L, O, N, E, Y, American. But the Italian is B O, L, O, G, N, A baloney.

[Paige]

I'm going to fact check that one. How did you spell your Italian version?

[Hannah]

B O, L, O, N. No, you said ba. You know, the American was ba.

[Paige]

No, none of them. In no version ever is it ba.

[Hannah]

Okay, how do you spell baloney?

[Paige]

B, O, L. It's B, A.

[Hannah]

What are you Googling?

[Paige]

I didn't. I saw.

[Hannah]

Well, we just had an Alphabet face off, giggly squad. Look, don't tell me to spell shit, because I actually am good at spelling.

[Paige]

Why does it keep becoming a bolognese?

[Hannah]

Because you're hungry.

[Paige]

Whatever. Okay, you know what?

[Hannah]

You.

[Paige]

I'm gonna take an L on this one because.

[Hannah]

No. Do you know why I have my period and I don't. I got my period this morning.

[Paige]

Oh, no, that's not a good sign. That means the gigglers have synced up, and that's actually a Ponzi scheme. Like, that's a real problem.

[Hannah]

Well, Des yesterday said, are you PMSing? And I said, okay, if. If this is me PMSing, just, like, questioning if we should go to the. Eat the same food two nights in a row. I must be a fucking angel if this is so bad. Me PMSing. And he's just, like, laughing. And then the morning, I'm like, I got my period. He's like, I know. And I was, like, so mad. He was right. I don't think you're meaner with your period. You just notice things better. Like, other things that would I just let go by on my. When I'm PMSing, I'm like, why would you say in that tone, though?

[Paige]

I'm more in tune with shit.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, I'm, like, feeling everything.

[Paige]

I'm clocking.

[Hannah]

I'm clocking. I was like, I think I'm just too nice when I'm not PMSing. I think PMSing is when like.

[Paige]

Like, the words have come out of my mouth where I'm like, yeah, sorry, that was crazy. And I had my period, and I apologize.

[Hannah]

You know what it is? It's that you can find a problem with everything. In this life. And three weeks out of the four, I don't. I choose the high road. But that one week, I'm PMSing, I'm. I'm like, and that's wrong. And that's wrong. And I'm annoyed.

[Paige]

You know when men are like, women can't run the country because, like, they PMS and they'll just, like, blow somewhere up and, like, get into a fight with some country. Like, I do feel like that about myself, though.

[Hannah]

I thought you were gonna say something empowering. I thought you're gonna be like, you go keep me away from the nuclear weapons.

[Paige]

Because you know what? If I was the president and someone pissed me off? You know, here's the thing, though. I would have a lot of aids. Like, my mom would be the first line of defense of, like, Paige. I think that's, like, an extreme ver. Like, yes. Decision. So I'm not worried. But, like, sometimes when I hear people say that, like, about women, I'm like, I do do crazy when I have my period, you know?

[Hannah]

Do you know I wanted to be president when I was little? Like, I wanted to be the first female president. And then I realized later in life that I don't want to be a liar.

[Paige]

Only men can do that.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, men are good politicians because they lie and they're fake.

[Paige]

Yeah. Here's the thing. You can never be fake. It's actually so annoying.

[Hannah]

It's actually ruined a lot of fun. Wait, can I please. Every now and then, a TikTok comes up of, like, a clip of you on a reality TV show. And there was one where someone was like, paige's ability to not speak at certain times needs to be studied. And I actually, as a student of the game, re watched this and was like, how many times would I have Todd a failure? But this is the thing. When I would be there with you, I'd be like, is she spacing out? Like, how she not say anything? I didn't realize that you're playing chess while I'm out here playing checkers and you're waiting for the confessional to give the tea. You're writing notes in your head, one liners. But, Paige, how are you in a scenario watching something, and you just let it happen without speaking up?

[Paige]

I know a clip that you're talking about, and. And I remember that moment.

[Hannah]

Why did you speak up?

[Paige]

I hate to break it to you. I was spacing out during that. You want to know exactly what it was? I had just gotten my eyelashes done, and I hated them. Okay. And they were poke. There was parts that were poking me in my eye. And so I know through that entire conversation, I caught the tail end because I was. I was like, I know for a fact that my eyelashes look ridiculous.

[Hannah]

People love cutting up clips of your reactions to thing. Being like, Paige knows. And I'm like, no, she was thinking about completely other things.

[Paige]

Look, I'm never going against good pr,

[Hannah]

honey, and I'm not trying to expose you, because sometimes it is what it is.

[Paige]

Sometimes I will be knowing things.

[Hannah]

Sometimes you do. Sometimes. A lot of times, no.

[Paige]

Sometimes I do. I. I am a witch. Like, I do feel things.

[Hannah]

We'd film, like, a whole day, and you wouldn't say a word.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

If you weren't in the mood. Yeah. But then you'd have a day. I was like, oh, she's. She came to work. She's wearing her Prada. Paige was. When she put together an outfit, I knew someone was about to get yelled at. I was so scared. So scared.

[Paige]

I had so many tells that no one ever picked up on. I was like, I'm in full white, honey. Someone's getting yelled at. I have to look virginal. I have to look bridal.

[Hannah]

No underliner. You're like, I'm just a fresh, young, angelic angel.

[Paige]

I'm like, me, do something evil. I'm an angel.

[Hannah]

I'm wearing white. I have a peplum top on one day.

[Paige]

There is a world where this podcast is. Is just a summer house recap show.

[Hannah]

And what the day that happens, the Internet's gonna break.

[Paige]

The day that happens is the day, like, my Medicare kicks in. Like, it's time Hannah, run back the tapes.

[Hannah]

But, like, one episode could take us,

[Paige]

like, yeah, we'd never get dead before. That's why we're doing it at the end of our lives.

[Hannah]

Why do you think more people in their 90s don't do, like, heroin and

[Paige]

method and do, like, crazy shit? What are you talking about?

[Hannah]

Like, I guess they're all.

[Paige]

The STD rate in nursing homes is, like, rampant.

[Hannah]

Like, people are dying from, like, a.

[Paige]

No, they're not dying. They're just, like, all getting infected because they're all. They're in this, like, incubus.

[Hannah]

That's the reality show I want to watch, seeing who Gertrude is going to fudge.

[Paige]

Can I tell you something crazy? One of my friends reached out to me, like, not too long ago who was like, hey, I have this, like, TV show idea. Like, I want to run it by you. And so he's, like, running it by me and it's basically that like it's a nursing home, but it's like reality TV of. And so I like put him in touch with like some people that like, I feel like could talk to him, whatever. And this one guy like calls me about it and he's like, hey, like, I've seen this show pitched before. People have tried to make it. Like, I've seen pilots, I've even seen like first seasons of things. And he goes, I'm going to say something that's like, really unfortunate and like, this isn't coming from me. It's just like what happens in this specific genre. I was like, okay. He was like, people don't want to watch old people on TV because one, they're like not as good looking as if you put a bunch of 20 year olds in a house. So people like fall off. He was like, also like, not. They're not doing anything. Like, they're not. We're not tracking anything because like they're so old, like they are going to die.

[Hannah]

Okay, well, I have, I have thoughts

[Paige]

and like people can watch someone like a love on the spectrum and not feel that way. But when it comes to like older people where like they're maybe dying because of just old age, people tend to find like the lack of empathy.

[Hannah]

Okay. But if you. Oh my God, there's no much better drama than being like, where's Mildred? And they're like, she's not coming to breakfast, so. And someone's like, she owes me $20.

[Paige]

But like, as someone who is like, I love watching hot people on tv. It's like my favorite thing.

[Hannah]

I think this guy's wrong because 1. What's it called when they're in the water doing their exercises? Like Jazzercise.

[Paige]

Yeah, like aerobics. Water aerobics.

[Hannah]

Water aerobics. That gets craz. They always have different talents come in. So like you would get different talents

[Paige]

cast of like, you would just need it to be phenomenally casted.

[Hannah]

But Paige, it's gonna be like below deck where who are the people working in the. Work in the nursing home.

[Paige]

Well, I think that would actually be.

[Hannah]

So you're actually following the people who work for it. But then you get all the comedic timing of old people who don't give a fuck. I mean, my grandpa went on Summer House and looked at the camera and said, I hate the Hamptons.

[Paige]

Actually a good show for that would be like how they film the office. It'd almost be like a fake documentary style of a nursing home.

[Hannah]

And it's cute where like you come in, it's already a community and be

[Paige]

like, look at us having a business meeting on gangli, guys, sorry.

[Hannah]

By the way, this is what it's like to get on a zoom with us as a production company. And like 40 minutes later they're like, we actually do script it

[Paige]

today. We were in a meeting. Look, sometimes we're in meetings and like, sometimes they're think tanks, they're brainstorms. We're like, what can we create? What's like, the story of our lives? And sometimes Hannah will throw out the most insane things and she'll be like, yeah. And I sent my friend and everyone

[Hannah]

knows it's me and it's the most

[Paige]

insane thing you've ever heard. And everyone just kind of looks at me like, damn, she was in a dark place at that time.

[Hannah]

I had this friend once who dated

[Paige]

a really horrible guy and I would send her articles and I'm just like, oh my God. I'm like, was me.

[Hannah]

Has anyone ever sent articles to their friend that are like scientific about like, what's going on hormonally when they like meet a guy and like what month they start getting annoyed with him and what month? Like, you cannot trust yourself because like, you're just on like a crazy serotonin high.

[Paige]

No, they don't.

[Hannah]

That's what I'm gonna sit down with my daughter and be like, the first four months don't count because you guys are sniffing each other's, you know, armpits.

[Paige]

You send me scientific data like you send me like Dr. Ashwagandha said. And Stephanie will send me like the most spiritual, like psychedelic, like, this is what your aura is saying right now. So I always get, sorry.

[Hannah]

I like to cite my, I guess

[Paige]

Eastern and western mothers.

[Hannah]

And we know where you go. We know where you go.

[Paige]

And I'm like, guys, okay, I have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to protein bars. All I know is that they taste good. David Protein Bars now offers two industry leading protein bars, David's Gold and Bronze. I'm already kind of obsessed, especially because their packaging is so cute. The Gold protein bar has 28 grams of protein, 150 calories and 0 sugar. The Bronze bar is still high in protein with even more decadence. With 20 grams of protein, 150 calories and zero sugar, you're going to end up reaching for both of them. Most protein bars are packed with excess calories and sugar, but David's bars are different. Delivering the most protein for the fewest calories. They're great for staying full and hitting your protein goals without compromising on taste or texture. I'm obsessed with chocolate chip cookie dough and if there's anything peanut butter chocolate chunk, consider me in. I'm also loving the cinnamon roll and the blueberry pie. They truly are the perfect little treat. So don't just take my word for it, try it for yourself. David is offering our listeners a special deal. Buy four cartons and get the fifth free when you go to davidprotein.com giggly that's davidprotein.com giggly

[Hannah]

hi, it's Hannah from Gigli Squad. Bottomless apps for $9.99 are back at Buffalo Wild Wings so you can mix and match favorites like mott sticks, fried pickles, onion rings, hatch queso, and chips and salsa. It's perfect for a girls night, a double date, or just a full on yapping session. Order your apps and keep them coming while you spiral on the same gossip from every possible angle. So grab your besties or your frenemies and head to Buffalo Wild Wings to get bottomless apps for $9.99 while you still can. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Paige]

Okay, switching gears. You know, it just came across my desk and I like, I'm so hungry right now.

[Hannah]

Sorry.

[Paige]

Me too.

[Hannah]

So, like, it just hit me.

[Paige]

Wait, listen to this. This is really bad. And my mom's gonna be so mad at me. Okay, 10:00pm last night. I need a little snack. I little, I need a nod, a little whimsy, like something. And it's not to the point where, like, I'm ordering something and like the thought of, like getting up and cooking something, I'm just like, who do I think I am? But then I got a grilled cheese in my head and I was like, whatever. It takes literally five minutes to make a grilled cheese.

[Hannah]

You're a chef.

[Paige]

I'm a chef. I get up, I make my grilled cheese. I go back to my bed.

[Hannah]

Do you put butter or mayonnaise on it?

[Paige]

So I put butter in the pan and then mayo on the sides of the bread.

[Hannah]

You naughty little girl.

[Paige]

No, she's crazy. She's zany.

[Hannah]

You dirty dog.

[Paige]

I go to bed. Great. I wake up this morning, I grab My dish from my. The nightside table. I'm bringing it downstairs. I'm about to make my hot water with lemon. Before I go to get my micro needling. I'm having a. I'm having the most page morning. A page morning. I give Kitty a kiss. I give her some food. We're having a die. I walk in the kitchen, and I'm like, it's a little warm. No, Hannah, I left the stove on the entire night.

[Hannah]

Wait, isn't that, like, how you die?

[Paige]

Yeah, I could have blown up.

[Hannah]

No. But also from the CO2. Don't you have, like, a thing alarm to go off if that.

[Paige]

Oh, like carbon monoxide.

[Hannah]

Yeah, carbon monoxide poisoning. Oh, now you're. Now you're gonna be googling side effects of carbon monoxide.

[Paige]

But is carbon monoxide fire?

[Hannah]

So anyway, don't leave your oven on. It's really, really, really unsafe. This is why you don't cook.

[Paige]

Okay, now I'm like, do I have to air out the whole.

[Hannah]

Yes, open. But I feel like if you were gonna die from carbon monoxide, it would happen last night. Like, I feel like if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. Like, now you're like Spider Man. Like, you could probably, like, crawl walls now or something.

[Paige]

You know those women who's like, husbands try to poison them, but they don't do enough, so it's like their body just, like, absorbs it. Like, I feel like I'm the type of woman that, like, a man would have to try and kill me, like, so many different times. It'd be like a funny movie. Like, every time I just, like, weirdly get out of it.

[Hannah]

Or you'd be like, I think I fixed something. Suddenly I have more energy I've ever had before, right?

[Paige]

Like, they inject me, and I'm like, I was actually testosterone deficient.

[Hannah]

There was a documentary shoot. Where was it? I think it was Argentina. I think it was Argentina about this old lady who. Oh, my God. She started killing all her friends because she started her own Ponzi scheme. Oh, everything's coming together, what we've been talking about today. And she basically get them to lend her money. And then she. She started Ponzi scheme within her tea club. Like, her mahjong group. Basically. She got them all to lend her money, and then once they started saying, like, hey, can I have my money back? She would poison them and kill them. But they're, like, all, like, 80. So the first one dies, and everyone's like, yeah, an 80 person died. And then two weeks later, another one of them dies because she, like, fell. And everyone's like, rip. And then a third one dies. And if no one thinks of anything. But then finally they start to realize that every old person who died is owed. She owes money to. And she was literally, like, putting little bits of stuff in their tea and killing all her friends.

[Paige]

Oh, my God.

[Hannah]

Yeah. But she still says it wasn't her because they don't actually have the evidence. But they're like three old ladies who were in your coffee club eating biscuits with you. You owe them all 20 grand and they're all dead. And she's like, this is recent.

[Paige]

Or like, this is an older documentary.

[Hannah]

This is like, it was 20 years ago when it happened.

[Paige]

Oh, so she's dead.

[Hannah]

I think she might still be alive. I don't know. I don't, like, Google stuff after, but

[Paige]

if she was like, 80.

[Hannah]

But I love how when women kill, they do it, they do it tastefully.

[Paige]

It's just always shocking when a woman does something. But I hate that it gives the men, like, any.

[Hannah]

Well, you know what I would say not all women. Not all. Not all women also was pissing me off is I watched Lainey Wilson's documentary on Netflix.

[Paige]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Hannah]

She's so cute and she has a big ass. So I. I feel like we're, like, connecting. Like, she's one of us. She's one of us. And she's.

[Paige]

What you love Elle Fanning.

[Hannah]

I've never. Yeah, I thought about Elle Fanning's butt.

[Paige]

I thought you just said that you love the Fanning sisters.

[Hannah]

I do, but not. But I wasn't. I wasn't, like, sexualizing her, but.

[Paige]

Oh, because everyone says, like, Elle Fanning has, like, the best body.

[Hannah]

I mean, she has an amazing body. I have to check out her butt after this. Thank you. I'll put that in my to do list. Look, am I a country girl? Not really, but I appreciate a good music documentary.

[Paige]

Yeah. You have red hair.

[Hannah]

Yes. Country music's crazy because it's one of those things that they're like, it's for the boys. Yeah.

[Paige]

They hate women in it.

[Hannah]

It's like how only men could be chefs, but women cook. And it's like, in country music, it's for the men. It's like stand up comedy where it's like, it's for the men. Like, I related to her because I felt like women in country music or

[Paige]

like, females really like any women in any sports. I'm sure they have stories for days.

[Hannah]

Story for a Day. But it's just so funny that. Who decided, like, a genre of music was for men?

[Paige]

The men.

[Hannah]

But I've never, like, heard a woman sing and been like, that would have been better if a man sang it, right? Never. And then, yeah, like, all the pop girlies are like, killing it. But then if there's like too much guitar, you're like, no, that's a man. That's a man that sings that about beer. If you sing about beer, you gotta be a man.

[Paige]

There's also so many, like, subsets of country music.

[Hannah]

Well, that's why they were so mad about Beyonce. They were like, no, this is not country music. And she's from Houston.

[Paige]

Right.

[Hannah]

So I just want to shout out all the women fighting for their voice in country music. Also, when I think of country music, I think of the girls, I think of Shania Twain, I think of Dolly Parton. I. I don't think of.

[Paige]

I've never thought, you know, something that did come across my desk that was actually, like, quite concerning. Wait, first, did you see that Harry Styles and Zoe Kravitz might be engaged?

[Hannah]

Yeah. I feel like the new celebrity thing is like, after Zendaya did not show her wedding, everyone was like, wait, that's cool. So now everyone's trying to do everything on this on the down low, do you think? I think it's more fun to wonder.

[Paige]

Yeah. That was so pessimistic of you. But I don't know if they're not. I feel like they're just not sharing it because they're such a list celebrities. And he's got to sell a tour, honey.

[Hannah]

Oh, true. I've also got on a weird tick tock algorithm of psychics, like, telling me the vibes they get from couples. Have you ever gone on that?

[Paige]

Yes. I love it.

[Hannah]

It's. And they're always like, this is. This could be completely false. And this is just based on what I think, because then I'm like, I'm a witch.

[Paige]

I knew it. I think she's a Scorpio. I really feel like I could. I would connect with her. Sometimes I see her in clips and I'm like, that would be my friend.

[Hannah]

She's a Nepo baby that people don't talk about because she's such a cool Nepo baby. Like, her parents are so cool that they're like, you should be in front of the camera.

[Paige]

Yeah. Lenny Kravitz is somewhere like, say it. I dare you.

[Hannah]

That's what I want to watch. That's. That's celebrity Lenny Kravitz and Charlize Heron.

[Paige]

Yeah. Those are A list celebrities. We're losing the art of A list. And I. I don't. I. That's sad to me. We've lost club culture. I don't want to lose the art of, like, an A list celeb because

[Hannah]

A lists want podcasts and podcasters want to be a list. So. No, it's gotten gray.

[Paige]

Stop, guys.

[Hannah]

Gotten gray.

[Paige]

But then there was, like, a blind item, weird rumor that was like, Taylor Swift was mad that Zoe Kravitz was dating Harry Styles, but I forgot that Taylor Swift even dated Harry Styles. But also I'm like, she's engaged. I doubt she would be mad.

[Hannah]

I have a good question.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

In terms of your friends and who they dated, is there an expiration date? Like, how long do you mean, how long has to go by before you're cool with them dating an ex?

[Paige]

You know?

[Hannah]

Hannah, what a crazy question.

[Paige]

Phenomenal question. And I truly think every situation is unique because there are men that I dated for years that if my closest friend called me and said, hey, I'm gonna hook up with him, I would not care. I would less than not care. I would be worried for her, and I'd give her all my concerns, but I'd also be like, I couldn't give a flying.

[Hannah]

I've also dated nice guys that I'm like, I'm not the one for you, but, like, I really want you to meet someone, and I have some friends, if you like to talk.

[Paige]

Totally. And then it's like, I have a situationship that, like, we could have hooked up five times. And if someone called me and said they were going out on a date, I would melt to the ground. I'd be like, no, you can't do that to me.

[Hannah]

No, that's such a good point, because we're all just, like, energies, like, meeting each other. But there's certain people in your life that you're like, that's my man forever.

[Paige]

Like, there's definitely certain men that I'm like, we never dated. But, like, we dated. You know, we dated, and I know we dated and we had, like, a weird. You know, but, like, we never actually dated. Also, I think things get so change so much when you cross over into your 30s, because relationships go quicker.

[Hannah]

If you dated a guy and then your friend starts dating him, like, a couple years later, then you do look at her funny, like, okay, the whole time, were you, like, eyeing him? Like, were you even giving me good advice? Like, you start just, like, thinking about that.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I also feel like if you have a crush on your close friend's man, that will hurt your relationship with her because like, you can't act normal.

[Paige]

Right.

[Hannah]

And I also think that's why it's important to be in relationships like me and you, where we have such opposite taste in men. It's so funny.

[Paige]

Anyone that I would go for you would be like, that's adorable.

[Hannah]

Yeah, Every now and then you'll dabble in my kind of man. And I will be like, why the did you do that? That's a horrible idea.

[Paige]

Well, because any guy that I've dated that I've really liked, like, because there's some I've dated that I'm like, wait, I hated you the whole time. And that's, that says more about you are close emotions. And like, that's my own trauma. But the guys that I've had like the best relationships with are the men that love how girly I am.

[Hannah]

Oh my God. That's why no man has ever been attracted to both of us too.

[Paige]

But I'm like just thinking of like what relationships I would categorize as like, those were learning lessons. That was actually a good healthy relationship. Wrong timing or like this was a bad relationship. Like when I look back on my life of dating, you can, you really can see the level of like either mental illness or the level of confidence. And it's kind of crazy.

[Hannah]

Well, we've talked about this before, but I think see sawing is so real. Whatever happens in your last relationship, you search like you over compensate for the opposite and then you keep see sawing until you find that like your balance. Exactly, exactly. But it's also interesting as you get older, like people get divorced, stuff like that. There's so many. I think you don't even have to be in a small town though, because LA and New York, I feel like that happens all the time. But I guess no la, it is like a small town because like they're all famous people, all each other. So there's a lot of like, oh, he's now with her ex husband.

[Paige]

I'm nervous and scared, but excited for the tea. In like 10 years when we get to the point where like everyone's getting

[Hannah]

divorced, it's gonna be crazy, but also empowering. Like when it's gonna be really empowering. I love when girls divorce. I feel like it's so exciting. But. And then also like there's a whole crop of divorced men who are pre trained and so tired from being yelled at and like had court ordered therapy that are like, coming out of that relationship better.

[Paige]

Like, I have one girlfriend. I have one girlfriend and she's single. And we'll like, talk about dating or whatever. And she'll say like, no, no, I'm second wife energy. Like, I. And I just kind of love it, like, because she's like, I know what I want and what is gonna happen for me. And like, my energy is second wife and I'm fine with that. And I'm waiting for that.

[Hannah]

And I'm like, okay, that's so good. I actually just thought of something of why I feel like I've never. I've never double dipped with a friend. And I think it's because I'm too competitive. No, not competitive, but prideful. Because my thing is, I never want to be with a man who didn't choose me the first time.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And that is what you should remember. Be like, at the end of the day, he saw you and the friend and picked the friend. You weren't like, whatever. You weren't chosen first. Don't be chosen second. Like, and I think that's why, like, even if I, like, thought like, I was cute and he started hitting on my friend, I'd be like, not the one for me. Move on.

[Paige]

My competitiveness has gotten me in some pickles in dating.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Because you want to, like, show off in a way. And then you're like, I myself, I'm

[Paige]

like, you don't like me? Just wait on it. Wait on it. And then I'm like, mom,

[Hannah]

I know. I didn't like me because he's crazy.

[Paige]

Can you help me get out of something really quick?

[Hannah]

Hey, I'm locked up.

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

It's so crazy.

[Paige]

To a refrigerator in so many words. I'm always calling my mom every day, asking, can you help me get out of something? Like, that is the general vibe. I'm like, can you help me with this?

[Hannah]

It is. I do. Like, I don't want to annoy my husband and my mom with too many scenarios. But then you know when you probably should have just called them in the beginning, but you're like, I'll deal with it by myself.

[Paige]

Sorry. I was just looking up because I couldn't think of what was the. What was the baloney company that was like, really? And it was Oscar Meyer. I couldn't think of the name. That was really annoying me because I'm pretty sure I have a memory of my childhood, of me singing of going on the Oscar Meyer wiener car.

[Hannah]

If I was an Oscar Meyer wiener.

[Paige]

That is what I truly want to be. And if it was an Oscar wiener, everyone would be in love with me. I just. I was. It was annoying me the entire you

[Hannah]

singing a hot dog song. No one would have guessed that would happen on this pod. Everyone's mind is blown.

[Paige]

Yeah, I need to call my mom after because I don't know what this memory is. I'm having a memory. And why were we in a parking lot? And why was the Oscar Meyer wiener truck there? And why do I kind of remember wearing ballet flats? This episode is presented by Depop. Okay, Gigglers, can we talk about the fact that we all have a section in our closet that basically is just vibes and delusion? Like, I bought it for a version of me that goes to Paris Fashion Week, but she hasn't checked in recently. Instead of letting those pieces emotionally support you from the hanger, you could be making money on Depop. Depop is a fashion resale app where your personal taste actually has value. And before you're like, ugh, selling sounds like admin. Relax. You can list an item in just a few taps. On Depop, you snap a photo, and their AI listing tool helps fill in the details. They even suggest smart pricing, which is giving efficiency. And the best part, no seller fees. I'm obsessed. Make money easily with no seller fees. On Depop, that means what you earn is yours. Even if you sell one thing, that's a win. Also, Depop has built in tools like offers and boosted listings so your pieces actually get seen by people who share your taste. Because trust, someone out there is searching for the exact jacket you're saving. So download the Depop app, list one item, and let your closet start paying you back. It's chic. It's productive. It's Depop. Okay, let's talk about the most important financial topic of, I think, our generation.

[Hannah]

Whether or not your Venmo payments should be public.

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

Or making sure your friends always Venmo you back and they don't forget.

[Paige]

Exactly, Hannah. But once they do, you can instantly use that money in your Venmo balance. I feel like people don't know that

[Hannah]

I love having a Venmo balance. It makes me so happy. And I'm buying nachos with it. My Venmo debit card goes crazy. I'm not gonna have so many nachos, because my Venmo debit card, there's also

[Paige]

no monthly fee or minimum balance required, which sounds very you, and it also actually sounds very Giggler friendly. So you could just check out with Venmo online. If that's just more your thing, it's also really easy.

[Hannah]

And the best part is Venmo Stash where you can earn up to 5% cash back. Cash back is like getting rewarded. The more we use Venmo and the more you do, the more cash back you can earn. So get the Venmo debit card or check out online.

[Paige]

Venmo Stash Bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 per month. See Terms at Venmo Me Stash Terms Venmo Checkout not available at all merchants the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bank Corp. Bank N.A.

[Hannah]

this episode is brought to you by Opill the First over the counter daily birth control pill available in the US and let's be real, getting a prescription for birth control is not always easy. About one in three women face barriers to accessing prescription birth control. Between scheduling appointments, missing work or class, just trying to exist. It's a lot. But now Opill is putting birth control in our control, making it easy, accessible and honestly, pretty empowering. Opill is a daily birth control pill that's F FDA approved, full prescription, strength and estrogen free. It's 98 effective when used as directed. And the best part? You can grab it online or at most major retailers. No prescription or doctor's appointment needed, just you, your schedule and your choice. So if you're thinking about birth control, check out Opill to see if it's right for you. Use code giggly G I G g l y for 25 off your first month of [e-mail] that's code giggly P-I-L l.com birth control and your control. We love to see it.

[Paige]

So obviously we're professional bedrotters, which means we're also professional TV watchers. I take that title really seriously. We talk about it on Giggly Squad all the time. Everything we're watching and it's important and we cover everything.

[Hannah]

You cover all of like the scripted dramas and historical things. And then I do documentaries which aren't historical. Those are just, it's different.

[Paige]

So this is for our TV lovers. My entertainment from DirecTV gets you 60 plus channels and Disney plus very important. Hulu and HBO Max all in one pack which you need all those things.

[Hannah]

It's very important and I encourage you guys to get my entertainment for just 34 99amonth and you'll be able to watch my Hulu special coming out soon. Go to directv.com genre packs and sign up today.

[Paige]

New customers only. Service renews monthly unless canceled. Credit card required conditions apply to apps. HBO Max Basic with ads begins after DirecTV 5 day trial. Learn more directv.com restrictions apply.

[Hannah]

I have another question for you.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I love all animals. Like, I know I'm a cat person, but I also like dogs. Sometimes when I'm walking past the dog park, I'm walking up to the fence to look at the dogs in the dog park. But then recently I started to be like, am I creepy that I don't have a dog and I'm just looking at other people's dog?

[Paige]

I would say if it was a playground. Yeah, dog park.

[Hannah]

No, but like, when you're just like, watching other people's dogs and, like, you feel weird when you do it every day.

[Paige]

That is weird. Yeah.

[Hannah]

I live right by a dog park and every time I have to, there's this little dachshund. I'm Kevin, who I love. I want to steal.

[Paige]

Actually, no, I don't think that's weird. I don't think that's weird.

[Hannah]

But, like, if you brought your dog to dog park and a couple keeps coming and, like, trying to get attention from your dog, I'd be like, get your own fucking dog.

[Paige]

I think he'd be like, trying to sex traffic me.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Did you see Billie Eilish said that you can't love. Claim to love animals and then eat them.

[Hannah]

Why are you trying to ruin my weekend?

[Paige]

Because I was just wondering, as an avid animal lover, as you're.

[Hannah]

Oh, you love animals so much. Eat tofu, bitch. Oh, you love animals. Sorry, I hate vegetables.

[Paige]

Thought you said you couldn't be fake in the beginning of the pod that you said you couldn't fake it.

[Hannah]

Huh? I love when you call me out. It makes me so happy. No, she's right.

[Paige]

Because I. You think she's right.

[Hannah]

And it's like when I eat meat I have, I lie to myself. And I like eating meat. Like, not like, I like when it's like a hot dog. Like, I can't look at it and be like, that's the head of a pig. Like, I like to. I lie to myself like, I'm eating beef jerky and I'm like, this is just a little lollipop of protein. So if when something looks too like, that's the leg of it. Yeah, I can't. And look. I wish every animal would live. I wish every animal would live. I haven't thought about this, so I don't have a formal PR statement, so. Us Weekly. Shut up. Don't say anything.

[Paige]

I just kind of feel like PETA's

[Hannah]

gonna come for you. What are you gonna say?

[Paige]

I just kind of feel like I'm a human and to survive for millions of years, humans have eaten animals and there is no. If you do a no animal diet for the rest of your life, I would assume that you have to supplement those vitamins with something else. And if not, I would assume that that could be really like detrimental to your health. Like.

[Hannah]

Yeah, well it is.

[Paige]

Like if you're iron deficient, I feel like eating a steaks once in a while is good. But I also.

[Hannah]

It is a privilege to not be able to eat meat. And like, yeah, I get all your nutrients. Like to be able to be like, well, I go to Erewhon and I get the tofu salad, whatever. Because if you're just eating chips every day, like, you're not gonna make it.

[Paige]

I'm not trying to alienate the vegetarians. I can just say that I have never thought about being vegetarian, A vegetarian for even a second.

[Hannah]

I just, I wish we could be more organized about it. Like I would so be down if we were like every Monday no one eats meat and it saves this many animals lives. Like I'm more about like, how do we make it the least wasteful as possible so where we're not just like killing animals. We don't need to kill.

[Paige]

Okay, I can support that.

[Hannah]

The vegetarians have to be more organized and because now it's like one offs. I don't know, maybe they do have meetings with that.

[Paige]

They need to have a PR strategy meeting for sure.

[Hannah]

Their PR is bad.

[Paige]

It's all over the place.

[Hannah]

It's a damn mess.

[Paige]

We need a consensus, like a short statement of what is their thesis. Like what are they standing for?

[Hannah]

And it's giving, like how feminist everyone thinks. Like everyone used to think feminists were just like angry women who wear cut off shirts. You know one thing, what a lumberjacks wear, what a lumberjack we overalls. Yeah.

[Paige]

You know one thing that really grinds my gears is when people are like, she's a bad feminist. Like, I just feel like it's another thing for women to be mad at women about. It's like, okay, now she can't even be a girl good enough.

[Hannah]

Well, you know what someone was talking about on TikTok, which makes it real that men are in the defensive. They just have to defend their power where we have to be on the offensive and when we're fighting each other as women. Plus we're Trying to take. It's so complicated because we're like, you're not even fighting the right way. And where men just have to protect.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Have to protect what they have. So us trying to gain is so much more complicated. And feminism, PR is fucking horrible.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Because. Yeah. They all think that we just like lumberjacks and we hate men when we just want equal opportunity and we hate men. Oh, God.

[Paige]

I'm just so mad that I didn't spell baloney right.

[Hannah]

Wait, this is the thing, though. Learning how to take a L will make you more successful in the long run. And that's my mental health moment of the week.

[Paige]

Oscar Meyer Baloney. B, O, L, O, G, N, A.

[Hannah]

Yeah, that's the time version that I gave. I gave you two versions, both correct with the like in a sentence, and you still were like, no, I gave you the pronunciation.

[Paige]

I'm just not.

[Hannah]

So you're trying to find an article.

[Paige]

Well, B, A, L, O, N, E, Y is the common spelling for the pronunciation. Which pronunciation? And this language.

[Hannah]

You're not winning this argument.

[Paige]

Why do you keep repeating.

[Hannah]

I just see me look better every time you fight it. You're proving my point.

[Paige]

Honestly, I've said that in so many relationships.

[Hannah]

Hannah.

[Paige]

Oh, my God. I've never heard that. Back to myself. Oh, my God, I've never heard that.

[Hannah]

I've actually never said that line before. Was it good?

[Paige]

Yes.

[Hannah]

That hits.

[Paige]

I'm so proud of myself. You're making me proving my point.

[Hannah]

I've actually heard you say that.

[Paige]

You.

[Hannah]

My point.

[Paige]

I needed that. Hannah's heard me fight through walls before, and that's actually, like, my favorite lore ever. Okay, that's all the time we have, page.

[Hannah]

And at first I was like, I shouldn't hear this. Then I realized, oh, I need to get be in on this. Then I started texting her like, no, you're not crazy. That was valid. I literally watched him. Gaslighter. And I was like, no, no, no, no. Stay with your point. You were right. Don't turn. Stay with your gut on this.

[Paige]

That is every woman's dream. To be in a fight with her man and have her friend on stage. Speed dial. Like, basically, you were my. We were in a boxing ring. You were my coach. I was coming back cut me. You were pouring water in my mouth, fixing up my cuts, and being like, get back in there.

[Hannah]

Your point was that was the ultimate friendship. Because at first, I felt like it was like listening to two people have sex. I was like, I feel wrong about this. And then I was like, she needs me. Like, this is an opportunity.

[Paige]

So funny, because in the beginning, I was nervous. I was, like, embarrassed. I was like, and Hannah can probably hear this. And then 10 minutes into it, I was like, and I hope she's listening, because I feel like that was a great line that she would appreciate

[Hannah]

also as my best friend. Nothing feels better than, like, hearing your

[Paige]

best friend stand up for herself.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

You're like, yeah, yeah.

[Hannah]

I'm like, go harder. Go harder. And then you want to jump in. I'm like, tag me, bitch. Tag me. Anyway, anyhow, I also have to apologize to the Academy for one last thing. I've been doing this thing back to my headphones where, like, you ever go on a zoom and, like, you can't hear the person? You're like, I can't hear you. And you get all frustrated, and you're like, they're clearly wrong. And then you realize the whole time that your thing wasn't plugged in, and then you have to pretend that you, like, clicked something crazy to make it work. Mm. I do that too often to people I've done it to. You raise your hand if you've been personally victimized on a zoom by me being like, can't hear you. Fix your side.

[Paige]

Yeah, I've been personally victimized on a zoom more than once in one day by you.

[Hannah]

Like, we wire zooms. So chaotic.

[Paige]

I feel like I've gotten on a zoom, and you've been like, no makeup today. Got it. Okay. I walked into two separate meetings today. One in person, one not. And I literally was Elle woods being like, I wasn't aware there was an assignment.

[Hannah]

Actually, I'm unprepared for both. That just happened to me. I went a meeting, and they go, did you send. Did you get the slides? And I said, no. No.

[Paige]

Normalized being like, no, I didn't look at it like.

[Hannah]

But then normalize being like, I didn't get the slides. Let's reschedule this. I'm not about to just do this. Me to do this meeting if I didn't have the proper information.

[Paige]

And sometimes. Moral of today's episode, you don't have the proper information.

[Hannah]

Sometimes you were not. Nobody. No one prepped you properly. Wait. The Elwood scene, when she goes, did you read the book?

[Paige]

And she's like, I actually was unaware that there was an assignment. That scene shaped my young adulthood.

[Hannah]

I wake up in the middle of the night sweating, thinking that I forgot there was summer reading. And all summer I didn't read. And then I showed up on the first day to a British woman being

[Paige]

like, and she gets kicked out of class. I was like, dev, I was so hurt in that moment for her.

[Hannah]

And. But also, why didn't she have a computer like everyone else had a computer that felt like she did the outfits? Like, how much could she do? She put all her money in her vintage.

[Paige]

She brought a moving truck to Harvard.

[Hannah]

Okay, okay. We love you guys. Thank you for giggling with us. We'll talk to you later.

[Paige]

Bye.

[Hannah]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.