Giggling about boob jobs, body scans, and stoner energy

Summary

Podcast Summary: Giggly Squad – Episode: "Giggling about Boob Jobs, Body Scans, and Stoner Energy"

Release Date: January 15, 2025
Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo

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1. Introduction to Episode Topics

In this lively episode of Giggly Squad, hosts Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo, along with co-host Gary, dive into a range of humorous and candid discussions. From celebrity boob jobs to personal body scans and navigating stoner identities, the trio covers it all with their signature wit and authenticity.

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2. Upcoming Events and Performances

The episode kicks off with an enthusiastic announcement of their upcoming shows across various cities, including Nashville, New Orleans, St. Augustine, Hollywood, Florida, Tacoma, Portland, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, and notably Radio City in New York.

Hannah shares her excitement about performing at Radio City, mentioning how she has been "watching standups of people that have filmed them at Radio City just to, like, watch this" (03:06). Gary expresses his nervousness, noting, "It's funny. That would get me more nervous" (03:18). Despite the nerves, Hannah reassures, "They did take a beta blocker whilst watching it. I was like, wow, that's gonna be crazy" (03:23).

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3. Boob Jobs and Celebrity Updates

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the topic of breast augmentations, particularly discussing Denise Richards and Paris Hilton.

Gary brings up the issue of Denise Richards' ruptured breast implants, stating, "Denise Richards breast augmentations... ruptured during" (03:53). Hannah reflects on her own stance, mentioning, "Here's another reason why I went against getting a boob job... I know my body would reject it" (04:37). Gary adds humorously, "It's like mouth cocaine" (05:01), drawing a parallel between the risks of cosmetic surgeries and other substances.

Hannah cites Paris Hilton as an example, "She got a boob job... her body... truly rejected them, and she got them taken out right away" (04:50). This discussion underscores their skepticism toward elective cosmetic procedures and highlights the potential health risks involved.

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4. Stoner Energy and Personal Habits

The hosts delve into their personal use of substances to manage stress and energy levels. Paige shares her experience with Soundcore's Sleep A20 earbuds, praising their ability to block out noise and enhance sleep quality (01:35).

Gary discusses his use of weed and melatonin, saying, "I feel like you look up like a pothead... I'm giggling and constantly snacking. Everything about me says pothead" (05:08). Hannah playfully accuses Gary of embodying the stoner aesthetic, "You're like, I don't want kids. I just want to smoke weed" (05:40). Their banter highlights their relaxed lifestyles and the role these habits play in their daily routines.

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5. Fashion Discussions: Sneaker Wedges and Styles

Fashion is another entertaining topic as the hosts exchange opinions on sneaker wedges and other trendy footwear.

Hannah reminisces about her modeling days, "I was in Albany having zero business, rocking a fucking sneaker wedge... They're coming back, like, full force" (07:01). Gary expresses his fondness for Crocs, "I love my heeled wedged Crocs... I'm into, like, the sneaker loafers that are New Balance" (07:35). This segment showcases their diverse tastes and playful disagreements in fashion choices.

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6. Unpopular Opinions on TikTok and Social Media

The trio shares their critical views on TikTok, discussing both its positive and negative impacts.

Hannah declares, "Really Unpopular. I can't fucking wait for TikTok to be gone" (08:02), expressing frustration with the platform's pervasive influence. Gary concurs, noting, "I have a niece... There's, like, proven studies about the development of your brain" (08:56), highlighting concerns about social media's effects on younger generations.

They debate the algorithm's role in spreading misinformation, "The misinformation that's spread is crazy... TikTok, for every... it's bullying and the lying" (09:28). Despite acknowledging some benefits, their overall sentiment leans towards skepticism about TikTok's societal impact.

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7. Charity Work and LA Fires

Addressing current events, the hosts discuss the impact of the LA fires and their initiative to support affected communities.

Gary critiques misplaced online priorities, "A 22-year-old crying about TikTok... let's get our priorities in order" (12:48), before Hannah announces their charitable efforts: "We're going to give all the proceeds to a charity that we pick" (13:00). They emphasize the importance of vetting charities to ensure contributions reach the intended recipients, showcasing their commitment to meaningful philanthropy.

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8. Body Scans and MRI Results

In a personal and insightful segment, Hannah and Gary share their experiences with full-body MRI scans conducted by Prenuvo.

Hannah describes the process, "It was one of the easiest experiences... I just opened mine" (51:09), and details her findings, including "small, less than 5 millimeter white spots" in her brain's white matter, which are generally asymptomatic (51:18). Gary discusses his own results, revealing "some degenerative changes" in his cervical spine but reassuring that no follow-up is needed if asymptomatic (51:41).

They humorously debate potential medical findings, with Hannah suspecting she might have a cyst, "I think I have a cyst" (53:25), while Gary jokes about the possible presence of a baby (53:12). This segment underscores the importance of regular health check-ups while maintaining a light-hearted tone.

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9. Relationships and Breakups

The conversation shifts to the dynamics of modern relationships and the aftermath of breakups.

Gary champions the idea that breakups can be empowering rather than purely negative, "It's actually so empowering... they're glowing the fuck up" (45:33). Hannah echoes this sentiment, cautioning against societal judgments: "If someone sees a breakup and they immediately think, what did the girl do? That's mental illness" (45:44).

They discuss the emotional landscape of being single in their 30s, with Hannah reflecting on her shift from frequent clubbing to more selective social engagements, "Now I'm like, I would... I haven't gone, like, out out yet" (39:47). Gary adds humor about navigating public perception, especially regarding rumors, "Guys, when someone claims that we are a lesbian couple... See you in court" (60:31).

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10. Closing Remarks and Podcast Milestones

Towards the end of the episode, Hannah and Gary celebrate a significant achievement: their podcast nomination for Podcast of the Year with iHeartRadio.

Hannah expresses disbelief, "It was like, a very surreal moment" (35:29), while Gary encourages listeners to vote for Giggly Squad, "If we've ever brought you joy, this..." (35:56). They share anecdotes about how they started podcasting, reminiscing about childhood experiences with answering machines and voicemails, which inadvertently prepared them for their current venture.

In their final moments, they discuss upcoming live shows at Radio City, interactions with family members, and tease future content involving Chris DiStefano and his friend. Their closing remarks are filled with humor and excitement about connecting with their audience in upcoming events.

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Notable Quotes:

• Hannah Berner (03:53): "Did she get a boob job?"
• Gary (05:01): "It's like mouth cocaine."
• Hannah Berner (08:02): "Really Unpopular. I can't fucking wait for TikTok to be gone."
• Gary (45:33): "They're glowing the fuck up."
• Hannah Berner (35:29): "It was like, a very surreal moment."
• Gary (55:56): "I'm obsessed. We can... listen to pause."

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Conclusion

This episode of Giggly Squad offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid discussions on topics ranging from cosmetic surgery and social media to personal health and relationships. Hannah and Paige, along with Gary, provide listeners with entertaining insights into their lives while encouraging meaningful conversations on contemporary issues. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, this episode is packed with relatable content and genuine camaraderie that exemplifies the essence of Giggly Squad.

Transcript

[Hannah Burner]

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[Paige DeSorbo]

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[Hannah Burner]

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[Gary]

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[Hannah Burner]

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[Gary]

Start caring for your home with confidence.

[Hannah Burner]

Download Thumbtack today.

[Paige DeSorbo]

When I was a little kid, anytime we went on vacations, we always rented a house because our family like always.

[Hannah Burner]

Wanted to be together. And it truly was so much better.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Than ever staying at a hotel because all of my memories from that trip.

[Hannah Burner]

Are in the house.

[Paige DeSorbo]

If you have kids, your bedtime doesn't.

[Hannah Burner]

Have to be their bedtime.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So next time you're looking to book your next trip, be sure to look for a guest favorite on Airbnb. Guest favorites are a collection of the most loved homes based on reviews and reliability so you know you can't go wrong. This show is sponsored by Soundcore's Sleep A20 earbuds from Anchor. 2025 is already off to a busy start for us, so sleep is more important than ever, right? Well, the folks at Anchor have sent both of us a pair of the Soundcore Sleep A20 earbuds, which we've been using for a few weeks. As you know, I'm a light sleeper and New York is loud. Police sirens, cars honking. These earbuds not only block out noise with their four point no masking system, they're also so comfortable while you're sleeping. I'm a side sleeper, so the soft material has made sleeping truly pressure free and they fit my ear perfectly.

[Gary]

And I like to put myself to sleep by listening to music or podcasts because I don't want to be stuck with my own thoughts, but I also don't want to bother my husband. So I've been listening to them through the Soundcore Sleep A20 earbuds. It has the Ultra Stable Bluetooth 5.3 so you can curate your own playlist and you can sleep on it without it feeling uncomfortable or other people hearing it around you or you hearing them. The earbuds also have up to 14 hours of listening on a single charge. That's uninterrupted audio all night long when I really sleep in. We've been trying these earbuds over the holidays, so gigglers, you'll hear more about them in the next few weeks.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Get the sleep you deserve with Soundcore's Sleep A20 earbuds at soundcore.com s o u n d c o r e dot com, use code, sleep at checkout and get $30 off s, l, E E P in all caps tonight, every night, grab your pair and sleep away.

[Gary]

Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my golden gigglers?

[Hannah Burner]

Um.

[Gary]

Wait. Grace said we have to do something professional, okay? Oh, yeah, she said we to promote our upcoming shows. Nashville, New Orleans, St. Augustine, Hollywood, Florida, Tacoma, Portland, Las Vegas, Salt Lake City.

[Hannah Burner]

And let's not forget, we're performing at Radio City this week. I've been watching standups of people that have filmed them at Radio City just to, like, watch this.

[Gary]

Just to get the vibes.

[Hannah Burner]

Just to get the vibes of the area.

[Gary]

It's funny. That would get me more nervous.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, I think it's back.

[Gary]

I feel like that's. That's the worst thing you could possibly do.

[Hannah Burner]

They did take a beta blocker whilst watching it. I was like, wow, that's gonna be crazy.

[Gary]

I like, it sucks. But I realize that, like, life is just about not thinking about what you're doing, because the second you're aware of what you're doing, you fuck it up. But, like, you want to be able to think about what you're doing when you're doing it, but it turns out.

[Hannah Burner]

Like, no, you want to live, but, like, you can't. People don't let you.

[Gary]

Look, get a. Everyone just get a lobotomy. Things will work out. That's the newest thing. Speaking of surgeries, rest in peace to Denise Richards breast augmentations.

[Hannah Burner]

Did she get a boob job?

[Gary]

Two of her breast implants exploded. Wait, ruptured? That was the word they used, which is ruptured. Scary as fuck. Ruptured during.

[Hannah Burner]

I wonder if you know right when it happens, like, truly. I wonder if you can feel it inside of you. Of like, I just popped a bag.

[Gary]

When I was, like. When I was at a tennis academy, I had this, like, huge muscle trainer, and he walks up to me one day and he's like, whatever you do, don't get breast implants. And I was like, I'm 14. Like, why are you saying that to me? It was, like, so weird. And he goes, cause my girlfriend, she was trying to open the car and something poked her and she punctured and it blew up her breast implant. And I was like, okay, noted. Thank you.

[Hannah Burner]

Here's another reason why I went against getting a boob job. If something is going to happen medically, I know it's gonna Happen to me. Like, I know I'd be the type of body to be like, we don't want this. And, like, reject it.

[Gary]

Rejecting it.

[Hannah Burner]

And that's what happened to Paris Hilton. She got a boob job, like, years ago, and her body, like, truly rejected them, and she got them taken out right away.

[Gary]

It's like mouth cocaine.

[Hannah Burner]

Yes.

[Gary]

And weed and melatonin. I took a Lemi gummy.

[Hannah Burner]

You know, it's funny, whenever I. Whenever I, like, talk about you to people that don't know you, I always say, I'm like, she's so pure. Like, no, she's never smoked a cigarette. That's, like, the number one thing I say.

[Gary]

I realize, like, if you just look at me, I look up like a pothead. Like, I haven't brushed my hair. I'm giggling and constantly snacking. Like, everything about me says pothead.

[Hannah Burner]

Everyone. Everything about you says she's high. I mean, even your shirt right now, that's a stoner ass shirt.

[Gary]

No, I identify as a stoner.

[Hannah Burner]

You're like, I don't want kids. I just want to smoke weed. Wait, what are we.

[Gary]

Yeah, what's the update?

[Hannah Burner]

I have something very important to bring up. Yes? I don't know if you know.

[Gary]

Like, I don't know.

[Hannah Burner]

Okay, let's say it's like, it was probably, like, 2012, and I. Not to brag, but one of my biggest modeling jobs would be, like, shoot, like, shoe fit modeling, because I am the perfect size seven. So. So, like, I would go into showrooms, and when buyers were coming to buy certain lines of shoes, I would be the model with the shoes on. So I would see the shoes before the next season of, like, what they're buying. And I remember being there one time, and I was presented with a sneaker wedge, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm obsessed. Like, I. What are these freaking shoes? I love them. And I made them give me a pair, like, when I was done. So I was, like, in Albany having zero business, rocking a fucking sneaker wedge. Like, I was a wow on the ice. Loved it. They're coming back, like, full force. And I just feel like you are the epitome. Sorry, croc. Sorry, Croc. But I just feel like you are a sneaker wedge, girly.

[Gary]

I feel like you just called me Miranda. This is. Okay. Okay. I have a lot of. Let me process.

[Hannah Burner]

Okay.

[Gary]

Because I feel like sneaker wedges, they were, like, in for a bit, but they were never.

[Hannah Burner]

They were in for, like, a second.

[Gary]

Yeah. They were never considered.

[Hannah Burner]

They were Very. Like, they weren't in. In the country. Like, no one wore them in Albany. I remember being, like, feeling like a freak. But, like, in New York City, everyone wore them for, like, a year.

[Gary]

I wore. I think I wore them. This is my thing. I love Crocs so much, and I love my heeled wedged Crocs. So, like, I don't know if. If the right sneaker wedge comes across my desk. Yeah, I will.

[Hannah Burner]

You will.

[Gary]

I'm into, like, the sneaker loafers that are New Balance everyone's been sending me, and I was like, give me 17 of them right now.

[Hannah Burner]

Wait, I don't know if I've seen the sneaker loafer.

[Gary]

It's like a silver. Like, New Balance, but as a loafer. Okay, well, we have such different algorithms, because this is the only thing on my algorithm right now.

[Hannah Burner]

Speaking of algorithm Unpopular Opin.

[Gary]

Yep. I know what you're gonna say.

[Hannah Burner]

Really Unpopular. I can't fucking wait for TikTok to be gone.

[Gary]

No samzees.

[Hannah Burner]

I need my life back. Everyone's like, oh, I'm not gonna learn anything.

[Gary]

I miss my family.

[Hannah Burner]

I miss being dumb. I miss not knowing a goddamn thing. Ignorance is bliss, and I enjoy it.

[Gary]

Everyone's posting the funniest stuff of, like, me saying bye to my Chinese spy.

[Hannah Burner]

Or, like, doing, like, the congress thing. It's like, are you Chinese? No. So you are? Nope, I'm not.

[Gary]

I always. What I do like about TikTok is it understands me more than anyone. But also what I hate about it is it understands me more than anyone.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, it's intrusive.

[Gary]

Yeah, it's super intrusive. I like that. It tells me what to buy. Like, I don't have to search for what I need. Like, it tells me, like, you're going to like this. And I'm like, thank you. Give me 17 of them right now. But also, with the mental health stuff, not to age ourselves, but we were the WebMD generation. Like, you got a sniffle, you want a web, and it told you you were gonna die, and that was your fate.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Like, and before, I had to search to be diagnosed with something where now it just, like, comes at you all day. Like, it's like, do you have sleep paralysis? You have, like, everything.

[Hannah Burner]

Do you eat cheese?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, you have a problem.

[Hannah Burner]

It's like, oh, man.

[Gary]

Then with all the information, like, it's been crazy to see what size of TikTok I'll be on, where I'll be. Like, once you see three videos of people saying the same thing, you believe it?

[Hannah Burner]

Yes.

[Gary]

So, like, the misinformation that's spread is crazy. From beauty stuff to politics to current events, and, like, no one is above. Like, if three of your friends say something, it's a thing.

[Hannah Burner]

Right?

[Gary]

That's just a fact. And TikTok, for every. All the information that we've been able to, like, spread, that's been great. Has equally been, like, the bullying and the lying.

[Hannah Burner]

And I'm gonna be honest. I have Learned things on TikTok. Have I implemented them into my life?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Certainly not.

[Gary]

Have I saved 4000 workouts and recipes that I never once gone back on?

[Hannah Burner]

Never. I've never once gone back to a workout, and I save a ton of them. I'm like, ooh, that's a good one to do at home.

[Gary]

Oh, 100%. I've sent it to you and been like, if I'm not going to use it, you're not going to use it either. I do feel bad for the people who blew up because they are so talented and Hollywood would have never given them the time of day, but the people chose them and they. And they were able to grow that.

[Hannah Burner]

I just think it has significantly impacted my mental health based on alone the amount of time I spend on it. When I get off TikTok at night to fall asleep, I have to sit there for 20 minutes and decompress a little. One of my favorite things to do is decompress, but it's too overstimulating, and I'm actually ready to have my nights back.

[Gary]

But sometimes TikTok algorithm's bad. Like, I saw a video of a girl, like, with a. A mustache, and she's like, would you date the male version of yourself? So I watched it and it was funny, but then it showed me, like, 30 more videos of that, and I'm like, I don't. I'm not that interested in that. That's, like, my thing now. Like, show me girls with mustaches. So, look, there's pros and cons, but not to get big picture here, but I feel like I have a niece. You know, I'm. I'm an aunt. Yes, she's very important. I FaceTime her all the time and then hang up when she gets cranky. She is given, like, strict screen time things, and there's, like, proven studies about, like, the development of your brain. So I think it's starting with kids, but I think, like, in 10, 20 years, like, adults are going to be put on, like, a screen. I think.

[Hannah Burner]

I think if people aren't already, people Will be going to rehab for.

[Gary]

Put me in it right now.

[Hannah Burner]

No, actually, put me in it right now.

[Gary]

I just. I never get mad about a social media app closing because we all know social media is not good for us, right?

[Hannah Burner]

Like, something else will pop up, people.

[Gary]

Will be fine, but people will be fine.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

People are telling people where to go, which is kind of. It feels like when you're waiting for a train and you don't know what the train is gonna be, and then they announce the train and everyone starts running towards the train track.

[Hannah Burner]

I will say, as a group of millennials, we are funny on there. You know, we've never been more together as a country knowing that something's going away. So I'm happy for the camaraderie.

[Gary]

Oh, all the millennials are happy.

[Hannah Burner]

No, I'm saying everyone's band together of being like, this app is gonna be gone soon. Say whatever the fuck you want. People are being really funny on it and I appreciate that.

[Gary]

It's funny because mine is like people crying.

[Hannah Burner]

Really?

[Gary]

Because it's like the LA fires, which are so fucked up.

[Hannah Burner]

So fucked up.

[Gary]

And then like a 22 year old crying about TikTok. And I'm like, let's get our priorities in order.

[Hannah Burner]

Which giggly squad? We just designed a T shirt for the LA fires and we're going to give all the proceeds to a charity that we pick. If you guys have any charities that you're, like, really passionate about, send them to us.

[Gary]

Yeah, we're like, vetting because I feel like it's like, if we're going to give money, I want to give it to the right places and right.

[Hannah Burner]

And make sure it's like going to where you actually say it's going to. Sometimes these, like, big ones, I'm like.

[Gary]

Is it hitting the right people?

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, gofundmes are great, but you really do have to check them.

[Gary]

Out, make sure it's a friend who knows the person. Yeah. This because during strifling times, is that a crazy strife way to describe it, Chris, what does strife will mean?

[Hannah Burner]

Strifling times. I don't think that gets.

[Gary]

It's not a word.

[Hannah Burner]

First of all, Urban Dictionary.

[Gary]

Stifling.

[Hannah Burner]

You're talking about stifling.

[Gary]

Stifling. Urban Dictionary says a combination of the words strife and trifle. Strife meaning difficulty. Trifle meaning not really very important. So maybe not strifling. Definitely not strifling.

[Hannah Burner]

Definitely not.

[Gary]

Wait. Strifling is my life, though. Not important.

[Hannah Burner]

No. I've been strifling no, I'm not kidding. I've been trifling for, like, two weeks now. I'm not.

[Gary]

Okay, wait, can we normalize? Stifling.

[Hannah Burner]

The origin is Italian. And if you use it in a.

[Gary]

Sentence, being really upset about things that don't matter. Yeah, no, but I didn't realize everyone I know lives in la.

[Hannah Burner]

It's crazy. It's devastating. I couldn't imagine. I just couldn't imagine.

[Gary]

It is so funny, too, with all the technology and we're so advanced, we have cybertrucks that, first of all, we can't figure out how to turn on a TV with less than two remotes. Second of all, that, like, something so basic is fire. Like, we can't.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, they couldn't.

[Gary]

It's almost weird. Like, the world will always beat us. Like, the environment will always be like, gotcha, bitches.

[Hannah Burner]

No. Like, they didn't have water.

[Gary]

No. It's so scary.

[Hannah Burner]

Like, that's so fucked.

[Gary]

And there's nothing you could do but shout out. I feel like. And la, everyone needs to remember, like, yeah, it's huge mansions and famous people and then tons and tons of normal people with houses.

[Hannah Burner]

I mean, the Pacific Palisades, I feel like those houses, like, that's such a nice area that I feel like those houses are passed down generation to generation. Like, people have lived there for years. It's not just like, celebrities, it's like, those are family also.

[Gary]

New Yorkers. We all live in, like, tiny apartments. So when people are like, we lost our house. I'm like, holy.

[Hannah Burner]

Holy shit. Holy. Someone posted was like, I don't own jeans anymore. And it's like, oh, my God. Like, that's. I could not imagine losing everything in a fire.

[Gary]

And also, if you're there, they're just saying, like, the air quality is so bad. It's like, don't be a hero. Wear a mask. Yeah, we're gonna be going full mom on people, so I hope Dennis Reacher Denise Richards boobs are okay.

[Hannah Burner]

Oh, and that's how we started. Yeah.

[Gary]

Yeah, she. She ruptured both her boobs. I watched Anora.

[Hannah Burner]

You did? Okay, wait, when you were talking about it on the pod, I thought you had watched it.

[Gary]

No, I don't talk about things that I've watched.

[Hannah Burner]

I don't. And I don't talk about things that I know.

[Gary]

So we're on the same page now. My one note for Nora was that I think I was being a little, like, I'm from Brooklyn. I'll tell you how to talk. If you're from Brooklyn. And I did, like, part of her accent. I'd be like, I don't know if that hit, because something like water. She'd be like, water.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah. Once I watched it, I knew what you were saying.

[Gary]

You could just tell that she was a girl from LA doing a very good Brooklyn accent.

[Hannah Burner]

She's a phenomenal.

[Gary]

Phenomenal. But I was also, like, for her to go from, hi, I'm Mikey Madison. I'm so excited to be a part of this film to talking like this. You motherfucker.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

I mean, honestly.

[Hannah Burner]

So good.

[Gary]

It was low key. A dream role for me. And I think I was jealous.

[Hannah Burner]

Okay.

[Gary]

I was like, that was funny.

[Hannah Burner]

And it's so big of you to admit that. And that's how I feel about Ariana Grande. And just maybe jealous of her. I'm like, I don't want her to be Audrey Hepburn because I want her to be me.

[Gary]

No, but people are saying that she's dressing like Aubrey Hepburn. Audrey. Did I call her Aubrey?

[Hannah Burner]

That's a guy.

[Gary]

That would have been. I'm so sorry.

[Hannah Burner]

It's not my mom or anything.

[Gary]

Wait, Aubrey would have changed her whole brand. Whole brand? Yeah, but she's dressing like. With the little bang and stuff, which.

[Hannah Burner]

I did first at the CFDA Awards. But anywho, we're not going to. We're not getting a score. No, we're not.

[Gary]

Wait. For anyone in a relationship. Not you, for anyone.

[Hannah Burner]

Oh, sorry, you're not in a relationship anymore.

[Gary]

I was on stage and I have a joke about how, like, I never. I'm gonna say it.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

How no one asks me when I'm gonna have kids and that me and you will be getting interviewed. And they'll be like, paige, when are you gonna move to Charleston? And then the crowd, like, kind of groaned, and I was like, oh, like, rest in peace. And everyone's like, ah. And I'm like. But then they'll look at me and then go back and be like, paige, when are you gonna move to Charleston? I'm like, I'm fully married. No one has any question about me. But also, I do have to say, it is so hard to be in a public relationship like you. Doesn't. I thrive by, like, people not asking us questions about us.

[Hannah Burner]

Right. And we're able to.

[Gary]

We don't have. Imagine having, like, your worst friends commenting on what they think your relationship's about.

[Hannah Burner]

Or, like, with the Internet or, like, what you're doing.

[Gary]

I'm like, wait, imagine your shittiest friends hanging out with you and you not telling them anything about what's going on with you, but they like saw you and then they go in the cab and talk to their friend gossiping about you, what they think's going on and you can hear it. That's the Internet.

[Hannah Burner]

No, the Internet is literally someone texting you accidentally about yourself and then trying to cover it up when you say.

[Gary]

Something like based off of no information.

[Paige DeSorbo]

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[Chris]

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[Hannah Burner]

My favorite thing actually this whole weekend was people were mad at me for a lot of things but like none of them had to do honestly pertain to me.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

But the one thing that did pertain to me that was like actually true was people were like, oh, she thinks that she's a New Yorker. Like she's from Albany. First of all, yes, I am from Albany. And second, I am a New Yorker because I've lived here for 10 years. But thirdly, they were like a true New Yorker would never wear Eagles like outfit or like another team. And I just want to say I'm a fair weather fan. Like, if there's one thing you were.

[Gary]

Never out here saying, I represent New York sports.

[Hannah Burner]

No, if there's one thing about me, I don't give a fuck about your sports. Okay?

[Gary]

One thing about me. If the color matches my shoes, I'm wearing it.

[Hannah Burner]

If my friend sends me a dope jacket to any team, I'm wearing it. Kristin, can we shout out to Kristen? Kristen.

[Gary]

And I'm not trying to turn it on people, but do you not support women in the arts and small businesses? Actually huge businesses, but do you not support women entrepreneurship?

[Hannah Burner]

I think that Kristen is female founded companies. I genuinely think that she is going to become a billionaire on her own.

[Gary]

Wow. I just got like titillated.

[Hannah Burner]

I think she just changed the whole course of like NFL.

[Gary]

Can you Google titillated? I feel like that was the wrong word too.

[Hannah Burner]

No, that actually I think was right.

[Gary]

No, but like, I just, it got me so excited because she's so fucking talented and she's being. What does it mean, Chris? It means stimulator. Excite. Especially in a sexual way. Yeah, yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I was right.

[Gary]

That was no.

[Hannah Burner]

And the other thing is she's so nice and like gracious and sweet. Like she DM'd me and she was like, I want to send you a jacket. And I was like, send me whatever one you want. And then I was going to the Eagles game and I was like, perfect, my outfit's gonna wait.

[Gary]

Kristen. I will buy it. Can I buy a Knicks or a.

[Hannah Burner]

No, she only does NFL. But she's going to expand.

[Gary]

Well, yeah, she will expand. She's expanding as we speak.

[Hannah Burner]

No, as we speak, she's taking over the world.

[Gary]

What I was gonna say about relationships that you wouldn't know about is that my. My latest thing is. Yeah. The concept of keeping score. Like, I was talking to my friend who was like, you ever feel like he accuses you of this and then you didn't do that? It's a lot of, like, I'm not you. If you're keeping score, that's on you. I'm not keeping score. And this goes from, like, little house, household chores to whatever. And just. Yeah. Like, my biggest advice for marriage is a reminder that, like, you're not competing. Right. You both are on the same team. And the second you guys start keeping score against each other, like, that's just a. That's a fight ready to happen.

[Hannah Burner]

100%.

[Gary]

So my new line is, are you keeping score? Because I'm not giving score.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, I can count that high.

[Gary]

I'm illiterate and I don't know numbers.

[Hannah Burner]

And here's the other thing. I don't care. Period.

[Gary]

Period. No, it's time to keep score. We are stifling out in these.

[Hannah Burner]

No, I'm strifling. Wait, let's. So Saturday morning.

[Gary]

We try so hard not to get in trouble. It's actually a mirror. It's a miracle.

[Hannah Burner]

I truly try so hard. I'm like, oh, I'm not even doing anything.

[Gary]

We will, like, listen to pause. Be like, do we say anything to attack.

[Hannah Burner]

I really need, like, Us Weekly and People magazine and Page Six to stop listening to Giggly squad and taking the craziest things and writing an article, because it's like, we're joking about everything. So I wake up Saturday morning, and I'm getting a FaceTime from Hannah Berner. And I answer it, and there's Marcelo Hernandez. We're on a three way. I said. I said, wow.

[Gary]

Did you feel.

[Hannah Burner]

I got nervous? I go, shoot. I did something.

[Gary]

You guys keeping score right in the moment.

[Hannah Burner]

I go, I did something. I said something.

[Gary]

I saw your face. You look. Cause with you never feel like you're in trouble. You literally were like, what did I do?

[Hannah Burner]

What did I do?

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

And when I told this story about how I texted Marcelo and I said, like, oh, yeah. And he was like, fuck yeah. Like, I didn't mean to make it sound like that was a direct quote from Marcelo. When I initially told Marcelo that everyone thought that I cheated on my boyfriend with him, his initial reaction was, lol. What? And then he never responded again. But in the Story. I was like, yeah, he didn't give a fuck. He was like, fuck, yeah. Like, who cares? Then articles come out being, like, Marcelo's exact quotes after he found out. And I. Marcelo's like, you're really fucking me over here. And so I felt so bad.

[Gary]

He was. No, he was being so funny. He goes, so you said. When the rumor came out that we were dating, I responded and said, fuck yeah. I've never said fuck yeah. Anytime. I would never say fuck yeah. I go, sorry, did you say kick ass? Like, what did you say exactly?

[Hannah Burner]

He said, lol. What? Who is this?

[Gary]

So he goes, how did you get my number? He did not say, fuck yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah. So anyway, that was like, a bomb I had to diffuse over the weekend. So only get, like, 7,000 more. And I'm like, I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I just wanted to wear a cool jacket.

[Gary]

But we did have fun with our dads on the Knicks. At the Knicks game, it was like a full for full circle moment to, like, we took. We got those tickets. We took our dad to those games.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, we got those tickets because the owner of MSG owns Radio City. And so because we sold out Radio City two days in a row, they were like, oh, here are some Knicks tickets. And obviously, we were like, we'll bring our dads.

[Gary]

Yeah. And Paige, the whole time, was making fun of our brothers, being like, where are they now?

[Hannah Burner]

And your dad loved it.

[Gary]

My dad is crazy.

[Hannah Burner]

The only thing I cared about that night was making your dad laugh. And I did it in the first half, and I was like, I can go home.

[Gary]

Do you feel like when you're hanging out with my dad, it was like, kind of like hanging out with me at all?

[Hannah Burner]

Exactly.

[Gary]

Are we not the same person? No.

[Hannah Burner]

Everyone was saying, like, oh, my God, our dads are so us coded. I loved it so much. Like, me and my dad's outfits actually kind of match. Like, his shoes match my jacket. And you and your dad were very, like, sports.

[Gary]

So Paige's dad and Paige are sitting and, like, so calm, collected. Look great.

[Hannah Burner]

Wait, I have another story. No, keep going.

[Gary]

Oh, no. I know what you're gonna say.

[Hannah Burner]

Okay, so then my dad is my dad. I would say that I have a very split personality of, like, I can be my dad, and then I can also be my mom. But the majority, I would say I am my dad.

[Gary]

Yeah, same.

[Hannah Burner]

And so, like, when he's out in public, I know he gets socially, like, anxious and awkward. And here's the other thing. He can't hear very well. So he gets even more nervous that, like, he's not gonna be able to hear what someone's saying to him. And he's not gonna.

[Gary]

He's also, like, a little shy. Like, he's trying to.

[Hannah Burner]

Oh, he's so shy. He's extremely shy.

[Gary]

He's like, the party's here, right?

[Hannah Burner]

Unless you, like, fully know my dad, he's not showing his personality.

[Gary]

He's Black Cat, and he likes a one on one. Like, when I'm one on one with him, he's chatty, chatty, chatty. But, like, if we're in a group, he plays security guard. He stands by the door. He makes sure everyone is okay.

[Hannah Burner]

He's, like, looking at the exits.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

He also, like, does not do things with my mom. Like, this was a really big deal for him.

[Gary]

Without your mom.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, without my mom.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

To go somewhere and my mom not be involved. Like, he was anxious.

[Gary]

The funniest moment was he turns to my dad and he's like, so you guys eat a lot of Italian food? And my dad was like, I mean, yeah. And he goes, but, like, every night is your wife making Italian food? And my dad's like, not every night. I mean, we have, like, Chinese sometimes. And he goes, yeah, Kim likes Chinese, but I just want to eat her Italian food. And I was like, this is the sweetest conversation.

[Hannah Burner]

If someone ever suggests, like, a different cuisine, he goes, I feel like we're wasting our time. He goes, why would we eat that and waste our time when we could eat Italian food?

[Gary]

So you coded. As we all went up, my dad and I ran to the buffet because we were like, we're getting our money's worth.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

These people are gonna lose money on us at the buffet. And I look at your dad, and he was like, I'll just sit here. I'm a little, you know, I'm not in the mood to eat right now.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, my dad, he was too overstimulated. He was too overstimulated. He's like, I'll watch you back. He didn't even, like, walk over to the buffet. But when we were sitting there, my.

[Gary]

Dad got ice cream before dinner. He was having the best time of his life. He's like. He's like, my wife isn't around. We're getting ice cream before dinner.

[Hannah Burner]

When we got to, like, our seats, my dad got sat next to Billy Baldwin, who I, like, turned to my dad, and I was like, hey, dad. Like, just so you know, this is Billy Baldwin. Like, he, like, this and this and this. And he was like, okay. He was the nicest guy ever. He talked to my dad the whole game. My dad. I felt like this was my son and I was dropping him off to preschool. And I was like, it's okay. These are gonna be your friends. He's sitting to my right. He's holding onto my jacket sleeve while he's talking to Billy Baldwin. Because I could tell he was nervous. And so I turned to my dad, and I was like, can you not hear him? Or, like, do you want me to also be in the conversation? Are you nervous? He was like, no, no, I'm okay. I just, like, want it. I just, like, I was his security blanket. I literally went home and I cried, like, thinking about it, because I was like, that was so scary.

[Gary]

And our dads are so opposite. We were sitting next to two actors, and my dad never stopped to think, like, oh, maybe these are famous actors.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, he's shooting the shit with him. Wait, the guy. I love him. He's in.

[Gary]

I think it's Skyler. Righteous Gemstones.

[Hannah Burner]

Righteous Gemstones.

[Gary]

I hadn't seen, but I recognized him.

[Hannah Burner]

He's so good.

[Gary]

His girlfriend was so good.

[Hannah Burner]

Wait, you have to watch Righteous Gemstones. It's really funny.

[Gary]

I have to. But my dad. The ball goes into Skyler's hands, and you have to give it back. So he gives it back. And my dad's like, well, you're not gonna let me touch it. And Skyler. So, like, he's busting balls with them. He's like, you're not gonna let everyone in line touch it. You just throw it back.

[Hannah Burner]

No. We took our sons to the game.

[Gary]

So then Skylar starts laughing hysterically. They have a whole thing. Next time the ball bounces again, Skylar gives it to my dad. My dad's spinning it on his finger.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Having the best time, the time of his life. Me and my dad had one beer. We were drunk, and we're, like, trying to get the players to look at us. Like, we were like, jaylen, you're doing great. He noticed me. Like, that's what we did the whole time. It was so much fun.

[Hannah Burner]

No, it was a great time. I was like, super.

[Gary]

Can. Oh, can I make a psa? There was a video going around of someone filming us, and it got to me, and I gave him the finger.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Not that everyone thought it was a giggler, but that was not a giggler. I would never give the finger to a giggler. Unless that was an inside joke. That was Chris DiStefano. Who deserved the finger.

[Hannah Burner]

Of course.

[Gary]

He's another comedian, and he was infringing on my personal space and he wanted the finger, so I gave him what he wanted. And.

[Hannah Burner]

No, I love a Knicks game.

[Gary]

We love a Knicks game. We did wave to Chris and Trey Song so that we were waving at him. So now we're in a band and the neighbors know my name. So that happened.

[Hannah Burner]

Wait, no. I'm literally Trey Song's backup singer. I'm obsessed. No, but we had a great time, and we definitely have to go back.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

One thing we didn't mention last week is the Giggly Squad cult got nominated.

[Gary]

For Podcast of the year with iHeart.

[Hannah Burner]

Which, you know what's so crazy is.

[Gary]

Like, I've never been nominated for anything.

[Hannah Burner]

No. I do forget that, like, we have.

[Gary]

A podcast that people listen.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah. Like, I.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It.

[Gary]

Really? Yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

Unless, like, we do an episode where, like, I drop seven bombs and, like, walk away. I. Then I notice it because I'll get, like, the girls will be chatting, but, like, day, week to week, when we're just, like, shooting the shit.

[Gary]

I do forget we're people's inside joke. Like, they don't talk about on the Internet. It's just like, we're in their head.

[Hannah Burner]

Right. Like, we're just inside joke girlies.

[Gary]

Yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

So when I saw that we got nominated for Podcast of the Year, it was like, a very surreal moment. And it's. I think the awards are at south by Southwest. But to vote, you have to, like, make a profile, which I know is, like, a norm.

[Gary]

You have to get a U. I have to be honest, I haven't voted yet because it was like, you have to Sign up for iHeart.

[Hannah Burner]

No, the admin. I was like, guys, no, gigglers are doing this. Give it to someone else.

[Gary]

This is our. If we've ever brought you joy, this. And I will do it right after this. There's a link.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Press it. Put a username password for iheart. Vote for Giggly Squad as your favorite podcast. Yeah. And then we'll party till dawn.

[Hannah Burner]

I mean. I mean, we'll go to bed at 9:00pm yeah. No. So I think that was, like. We didn't even talk about it. We're so humble.

[Gary]

No, I just think. I didn't. I thought it was a scam.

[Hannah Burner]

Me too. Do you listen to any podcasts?

[Gary]

I do. When I used to, like, walk to work and have a 9 to 5. Yeah. I needed a podcast or music in my ear.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

I feel like with our job now, it's hard.

[Hannah Burner]

I'll listen to, like, one of a lot of different people. I don't have one that I'm like, I have to listen.

[Gary]

I'm the same way. I do one offs. I'm also, like, kind nerdy. Like, I like entrepreneurial pods. Like, how they built this and, like, that kind of stuff. Like, girls who started a brand.

[Hannah Burner]

Like, like, a couple months ago, I listened to, like, Mariana Hewitt on a podcast, and I was like, I'm obsessed with you.

[Gary]

I love that stuff. Or I like comics talking about, like, how they made a joke.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, no, those are good ones. Here's the other thing. I listen to our pod every week.

[Gary]

And that's where you're, like, sick in the head. That's where, like, that needs. Your brain needs to be studied.

[Hannah Burner]

Because I listen to it every week.

[Gary]

I can't listen to my own voice. And, like, kudos to all of you who, like, listen to me every week. Thank you. I can't.

[Hannah Burner]

You know, it's funny. I thought about this the other week. I usually don't like the sound of my own voice either. But I remembered when I remember when you were little, like, we had answering machines, like, legit machines.

[Gary]

Yeah. And you'd be like, beep. Just kidding. Like, people would do the most insane voicemails.

[Hannah Burner]

I would beg my mom every day, like, let me redo the answering machine. And she would always let me. And there was something about, like, pressing record and then doing, like, I would do it in a Jersey accent, I would do it in a British accent. I would, like, come up with these different ideas of what the answering machine should be. And I was obsessed with it. And then I was like, wait, I host a podcast now?

[Gary]

That was your practice to become a podcast?

[Hannah Burner]

I was like, mom, record. I'm ready.

[Gary]

I remember that I had one that was literally me giggling, which is so obviously us coded. It was me being like, this is Anna Libra's. And I did that, like, in college. And then I started to apply for jobs, and I remember my mom being like, hey, you have, like, professional people calling you and you're just giggling in your voicemail. Can you have more professional. I think I still. I haven't redone it for, like, 20 years.

[Hannah Burner]

I wish my family, like, saved that machine. I mean, I was like 7 years old, and I was like, I think I could do a British accent, literally, because I watched the Parent Trap once.

[Gary]

Now that you're single. Yeah. Are you gonna go to bars and pretend you had have a different accent and name? Have you ever done that?

[Hannah Burner]

Yes.

[Gary]

What Is with, like, girls loving to do that, being like, I'm British, my name is Annie.

[Hannah Burner]

Tonight, it's just really freeing because I feel like you aren't. You already know, like, you're not. It's for the emotionally unavailable 100%.

[Gary]

And it's for, like, it's stressful to be yourself. It's all. It's almost like when you act as a character, you're completely like, do whatever you want. Cause you're like, that's not me. He didn't reject me.

[Hannah Burner]

Right.

[Gary]

You rejected Annie, who's honestly kind of stuck up.

[Hannah Burner]

Well, you know, it's funny. Cause I feel like I have. So I talked to so many. I'm in my DMs recently too, because the girls are sending, like, a lot of motivational things. And so, like, being with the girls that are single in their early 30s, one of the biggest things is, like, we're not in our 20s anymore. So it's like, not that you can't be single the way you were in your twenties. You can do whatever you want, but it's. You almost, like, don't wanna be. Like, when I got single at, like, 28, I was like, catch me in every single club that exists in New York City. And like, I was there. Like, you could find me in a club. Now I'm like, I would.

[Gary]

I was just in my pass away. Yeah, I don't know how you did that.

[Hannah Burner]

If I went to a club till 4:00am, like, I'd literally pass away. So it is weird, like, thinking of, like, okay, well, what am I gonna do being single? I've done a couple dinners with my girlfriends. I haven't gone, like, out out yet.

[Paige DeSorbo]

This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by Better Help give online therapy a [e-mail] giggly and get on your way to being your best self. It's 2025, and maybe you're ready for a plot twist. Or maybe there's part of your story you've been wanting to revise. Or it could be that January brings 365 blank pages just waiting to be filled. No matter what your reasoning is, it's a great time to try online therapy. Hannah and I are always talking about therapy. And honestly, sometimes we talk about stopping therapy too, because sometimes it just gets overwhelming. But inevitably, we always end up going back. BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide, you can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. And it's also really easy to switch therapists at any time. And there's no extra cost. So it's time for your resolutions. Write your story with better help. Visit betterhelp.com gigglysquad to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com gigglysquad okay guys, let's talk about dating. Specifically, let's talk about Bumble. A lot of brands are always like, New Year, New Me, blah, blah blah.

[Hannah Burner]

Not at Bumble.

[Paige DeSorbo]

We think that women have had a tough year and that we are allowed to date however we want, whenever we want, wherever we want, whoever we want. And I could not be more obsessed with that because as women, I feel like we need to celebrate more parts of ourselves. And that's truly what we do at Giggly Squad. Because on Bumble, you can date how you are. So for me, it's New Year. More Me. And so if you're ready to date exactly how you want, Bumble is the best dating app for my single girls with Bumble Premium. Their features help show more of what makes you you, whether that's your personality, what you're into, what you want from a relationship. Bumble will let matches know from the get go. Bumble spotlights what you have in common with potential matches, making it easier to see if they're a fit and giving you a shared interest to start a conversation. You can also now filter profiles by interest, making it easier and quicker to find people who like what you like. So 2025 New Year, more you join Bumble. Okay, if there's one thing I'm not bringing into 2025, that is shapewear that rolls down. I feel like I talked about it on the pod. Like I, I went to an event, I wore shapewear and I was just like, oh my God, never again. But if you guys have not tried Honey Love, I can personally tell you it is the best shapewear. Not only is Honey Love an independent female founded brand, all Honey Love products are intelligently designed by women who actually wear them. Their shapewear is really designed to move with you so you can say goodbye to pesky shapewear that rolls down as soon as you are literally doing anything. It feels like once, once you move, your shapewear is down. And that does not happen with Honey Love. They also recently launched their new Cross Flex bra. It's designed to support you all day. So whether you're working out or after your workouts, you can stay in it and feel comfortable. So Treat yourself to the best bras and shapewear on the market. Save 20 off [e-mail] Giggly Use our exclusive link to get 20 off honeylove.com Giggly to find your perfect, perfect fit. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support Giggly Squad and tell them that we sent you. Elevate your comfort. Elevate your style with Honey Love.

[Chris]

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[Gary]

I remember when I was on dating apps when I first started Summer House, guys were already, like, referencing things or, like, quoting stuff, and it was, like, kind of weird because you felt like, oh, they already, like, think they know me and I don't. I don't love that. I have to, like, battle whatever image they think they have of me. Yeah, and you're gonna have to deal with that, like, a hundred times worse. Can I? Yeah, I don't want.

[Hannah Burner]

If.

[Gary]

If any of these magazine people are listening, can I make a statement?

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, I would love it.

[Gary]

I love how, like, I want to make statements.

[Hannah Burner]

No, we started the pod before we started the pod. Hannah goes, okay, now look alive. Don't say anything bad. And you're like, actually, I forgot two things.

[Gary]

No, I just want to talk about breakups. And I don't, like, look at the comments or anything, but, like, can we normalize not being completely destroyed after a breakup? Like, I feel like everyone thinks that, like, when girls get broken up with or they have a breakup, that's, like, the saddest thing ever. Like, it's actually so empowering. And I've been joking. Like, when girls go through a breakup, they're glowing the fuck up. They suddenly become, like, Pilates instructors. They're going to Harvard. Like, they change everything. They've read 100 books. They're asking their friends.

[Hannah Burner]

You said a really important quote this morning. You said, if. If someone sees a breakup and they immediately think, what did the girl do? That's mental illness. No, that's so scary.

[Gary]

For relationships, there are. It takes two to tango.

[Hannah Burner]

In the history of anyone breaking up, when has the girl ever. On any.

[Gary]

No. But there's rarely, like one person that's the devil and one's great. Like, then why would you be together for so long? But I do have to say, I feel like also in terms of reflecting, I feel like girls after breakups will, like, talk to their friends and be like, how did I end up in this? How can I do better? What's the thing? And then guys will sit together and be like, who would win in a fight? A bear or a tiger? I do have to say, for anyone going through a breakup right now, breakups to me are like. Are like corporate jobs. You're not actually going to get a raise unless you leave and get another job. You guys, I was 29, single, during COVID living with my mom, dad, and four cats. And she looked at me. She looked at me and she had that honest mom moment where she was like, do we wanna, like, is there anything you could have done differently? And I looked her right in the eye and I said, nobody got away.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, I feel like that too.

[Gary]

Nobody got away.

[Hannah Burner]

Have you ever been broken up with?

[Gary]

The only times I've been broken up with have been, like, messy situationships. You know, the like two month there.

[Hannah Burner]

That like, oh, a situationship will fuck me up.

[Gary]

Yeah, those are all. I've never, like, someone said to me, like, oh, are your exes reaching out now that you, like, got a Netflix special or whatever. All my real relationships that have been like over a year have been like two people who know each other that I've gotten out of, thank God.

[Hannah Burner]

I one time mourned a situationship that was two months for three years.

[Gary]

No, no, those are the one. Cause you don't actually know them. Yeah.

[Hannah Burner]

So I made up a whole scenario about this man.

[Gary]

Because anyone's been upset about a breakup once you know the person. Cause you're like, yeah, I'll miss that. But also that I've had guys who I fully have been so into that my mom was like, can you break up with them? And I would be like, okay, and then you find someone else. But I've definitely, in the wise words.

[Hannah Burner]

Of Kimberly Noel Kardashian, I didn't come this far to come this far and not be happy. And I think she saw it on the Internet. Someone else said it and she saw it.

[Gary]

No, I just think there's Such a, like, media perspective of girls, like, sobbing in the shower and being like, I'm nothing without him.

[Hannah Burner]

Here's one thing. I want to talk like, the girl I've had. I've been talking to the girls in my DMs. I have so many girls that are going through breakups, like, right now. I also think I, like, push them.

[Gary]

To do it to get a cat, break up the boy.

[Hannah Burner]

It is kind of crazy to see some friends just, like, see ya, like, poof. If this was what it was to get you out of my life, God, thank you for protecting me. Thank you for steering me in a direction where certain people are kind of just falling off.

[Gary]

That's your 30s.

[Hannah Burner]

And I'm so interested to see if the other girls in their 30s that are going through breakups, if any of them, Their friends, like, that they didn't think would turn on them, turned on them. Because that's also a very weird, like, headspace to be in.

[Gary]

I feel like in your 20s, when your friends turn on you, you go, oh, no. What can I do to get them back? I suck.

[Hannah Burner]

Yes.

[Gary]

I need to be cooler. I need to be funnier. What's wrong with me? When your 30s, when people show you who they really are, you go, oh, thank God. I almost had them in my inner circle.

[Hannah Burner]

I was like, wait.

[Gary]

Told them my husband, dream dreams.

[Hannah Burner]

I go, I got you out of my life for free.

[Gary]

That was.

[Hannah Burner]

That was the best thing you could have ever said to me.

[Gary]

See, And I do have to say, sometimes those people will come knocking back. But when you love yourself, you go, oh, I will never forget when I was down being, like, kicked down, dead horse.

[Hannah Burner]

So many people.

[Gary]

You kicked me.

[Hannah Burner]

So many people have lost complete access to me, and I love it.

[Gary]

It's. It's honestly, like, so free.

[Hannah Burner]

You can still be alive and be dead to me. Okay. And I won't even mourn it, but I'll have a funeral.

[Gary]

Wait, I sent you a funny meme. Oh, wait, what?

[Hannah Burner]

So me and Hannah went and did those full, full body MRI scans. We have a code for the gigglers. We'll put it in the newsletter.

[Gary]

Did you go to yours? Yeah. Okay, so this is prenuvo report.

[Hannah Burner]

It was on, like, 34th and 6th. It's so crazy because before I went, one of my friends was like, oh, my God, are you claustrophobic? And I was. I guess we'll find out when I'm in there. Me and Hannah went at different times. Like, Hannah was already in there. And then I went in. But when we both got out, we were like, I'll take a nap. I loved it.

[Gary]

This was like, you know, was it scary? I was like, I've never felt more relaxed. Relaxed. I was watching the Jerry Springer documentary.

[Hannah Burner]

I watched Sex and the City.

[Gary]

They put Netflix on.

[Hannah Burner]

It was so loud. Like, obviously there's like a lot of like machinery working. I almost fell asleep. I would have fallen asleep if they didn't come over the loudspeaker and say, you have to hold your breath right now. I was like, I almost was REM.

[Gary]

I did fall asleep the last 10 minutes. And it was the most peaceful.

[Hannah Burner]

No, it was so.

[Gary]

Wow. So the thing with these body scans is like, when do you scan your whole body? Unless you're like, even when you're getting an mri, it's normally just a specific part. So this is like a full body just checking to see if there's anything going on.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah. So it took about an hour. You lay there, you go in and out of this machine. There were certain parts where you had to like, have the same breathing pattern. But like, all in all, it was one of the easiest experiences. Then they send you your update. So I just opened mine.

[Gary]

Oh my God. Okay, so it's organized versus nervous system.

[Hannah Burner]

How many findings? Two. I had four.

[Gary]

Okay, click on it. Wait, are we gonna find out something crazy right now?

[Hannah Burner]

These are small, less than 5 millimeter white spots seen in your white matter of the brain. This finding is relatively common in people over the age of 30. And the number of spots can increase slowly, if at all, with aging. These are generally asymptomatic, although in some people there is a slight correlation to migraine. The exact cause of these cannot be determined. Do you have migraines? I don't, but I thought it was.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Going to be like, you're crazy.

[Gary]

See, I got spondylar of the cervical spine. Mild degenerative changes in your like their bulges at C3, 4, C5.6 and C6.7 with a mild central canal stenosis. These mild do not need a follow up if you have no symptoms. But I mean, I think it's. Okay. You know what I'm do? I'm going to check it with Des's. Yeah, because we'll see what does has. What else are you reading?

[Hannah Burner]

Okay, my next one was I had one respiratory finding, one minor finding. What is it consistent with sin S I N U S I T I s. Oh, Sinaitis. Sounds like an Italian town that like got on like literally was killed by lava.

[Gary]

Oh, oh, like back in Rome. Sinaitis was like. What is it?

[Hannah Burner]

Just, like, inflammation or infection in one more of the sinuses in the head.

[Gary]

Oh, so you have, like, a little sinus infection. I have a deviated septum, which is crazy because I only did coke once, and I immediately got a nosebleed. But wait.

[Hannah Burner]

I have one reproductive finding.

[Gary]

Okay, what is it?

[Hannah Burner]

A small amount of fluted in the cul de sac is normal. Discuss the finding with your doctor if you have. Oh, I must. I bet I have a cyst. Oh, my God. I think I have a cyst.

[Gary]

Or is that a baby?

[Hannah Burner]

Hannah?

[Gary]

Looks like a head.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Gary]

Cause who would have been with Bug?

[Hannah Burner]

Me. TikTok? Paychecks. Why don't you chill?

[Gary]

It's just we knew that. That you've had.

[Hannah Burner]

I do have cysts. Yeah. So it's not that crazy. But how.

[Gary]

What's the thickness of your endometrial? Thick thickness.

[Hannah Burner]

Where do you see that?

[Gary]

I have it in my reproductive system because I just got an informational finding. It says my endometrial thickness is measured at 5 millimeters. I just want to know if that's tiny or big.

[Hannah Burner]

I don't have measurements.

[Gary]

Okay, so maybe it wasn't important. I have one. Musculoskeletal. Wow. I love. The people at Pernuvo are probably like, these girls are too dumb to explain.

[Hannah Burner]

No, the people were so nice.

[Gary]

They were so nice. Musculature. Oh, yeah. So they're giving us 300 off for the gigglers.

[Hannah Burner]

Okay. Amazing.

[Gary]

And we're gonna put it in the newsletter, but it's. I think It's Giggly Squad. Nouveau.com. i have a muscle thing. We detected a region of bursitis. There was a region of bursitis located in the subcor of your right shoulder. This is a benign condition. It's probably from tenants from serving really hard. From being a beast on the court.

[Hannah Burner]

Serving. Wait. Not to bring up that, like, I wasn't allowed to be out of the house yesterday, but when I was at the Eagles game, there was someone on the team. Not that I know any people. There's someone on the team, and their last name is. Is Slay junior. I was obsessed.

[Gary]

If you guys have never seen the Key and Peele sketch. Chris. If you guys have never seen the Key and Peele sketch of football last names. It's the funniest shit you'll ever see on the Internet. Wait.

[Hannah Burner]

Chris was so cute earlier. He said, can he come to Giggly Squad live on Friday?

[Gary]

Wait, so we're doing a Chris reveal? I already Told you, you have to come. Like, legally.

[Hannah Burner]

He's gonna bring a friend, too, so he's not by himself.

[Gary]

I don't know if we have a space for him to bring a friend. It sold out. We'll have to talk to our people.

[Hannah Burner]

To see who is your friend?

[Gary]

Who's your friend? Who's your friend? I don't know. I hadn't picked one yet. I didn't know if I had that privilege yet. Yes, of course you can bring a friend, but preferably not, like, bad energy. Okay?

[Hannah Burner]

We.

[Gary]

We reduce.

[Hannah Burner]

Imagine Chris just brings this douchebag who's like, you guys aren't even funny. Like, head of us in the crowd.

[Gary]

He's just heckling us the whole time. And I'm like, is that just Chris's friend that we told him he shouldn't bring? We're doing a Chris reveal for Radio City. Also, my Nana is coming. She already has her dress. She. She's so funny. She.

[Hannah Burner]

I'm obsessed.

[Gary]

She bought. She was like, can you get me these boots? Because I wanted to get her shoes for it. And she was like, make sure they're pointed toe or I won't wear them.

[Hannah Burner]

I was like, you are paid same. But, like, same.

[Gary]

Imagine being 83 and being like, I'm not wearing your. Not pointed to Hannah.

[Hannah Burner]

One of my favorite moments from your fucking wedding was Nana complaining about her shoes and how, like, she just was like, oh, I just can't believe I have to wear these.

[Gary]

Oh, yeah, because she had a stroke. She also had broke. She broke her hip like this. She's had breast cancer, and she refuses to wear flats. She wants to wear stilettos.

[Hannah Burner]

The woman still dyes her hair, does full fucking glam, shows off her decolletage.

[Gary]

Has a matching choker for every outfit. They don't make them like her anymore. No, she's stunning, but also, it's. It's the day that she doesn't want to wear stilettos. That's when I know there's a problem. So, like, Nana, wear your stilettos even though you literally don't have a hip. And that's called athleticism.

[Hannah Burner]

She's like, I don't have toes anymore, but I'm gonna wear. Oh, speaking of, I think I have. I think I did something. I've been, like, so into Pilates. I think I have a cyst in my wrist.

[Gary]

Well, you just got a scan, and you don't.

[Hannah Burner]

I don't know if they caught it.

[Gary]

Or is it a recent cyst?

[Hannah Burner]

It's a recent. I Think it's recent.

[Gary]

How often are you doing Pilates?

[Hannah Burner]

I've been trying to go three times a week because I'm out here.

[Gary]

Good for you. See, this is post breakup. It just gets you going.

[Hannah Burner]

I even got a shout out in class the other day. Paige, Good form. I said what? I was so excited. That's never happened to me before.

[Gary]

Are you gonna do y7 with me one of these days?

[Hannah Burner]

I will. I've been doing New York Pilates just because I, like, had bought a package from them like a couple months ago that I literally never used.

[Gary]

Yeah, I also, I sent you. There's a YouTube. I'll put it in the newsletter. This girl does like a 30 minute Pilates that you could just do at home. You just need a yoga mat.

[Hannah Burner]

And like, maybe I did it one morning.

[Gary]

It was so good.

[Hannah Burner]

It was really good.

[Gary]

I was dying, actually.

[Hannah Burner]

Joey Kamasta texted me and was like, I want to be a hot Pilates girl. And so I sent him my number and I was like, come anytime time. I need more gays. Yeah, as a single woman, I need more gays.

[Gary]

Yes, 100%.

[Hannah Burner]

So if you're gay and looking, so am I.

[Gary]

Wait, should there be an app for straight girls to connect with gay boys?

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, now that's a dating app. I'd immediately go on.

[Gary]

Wait, how has no one thought about that?

[Hannah Burner]

Because there is something so much more humbling when, like, a gay man in my life calls me and tells me, like, like, what the fucking deal is.

[Gary]

Would you rather a straight guy not like you or a gay guy not like you? Would you rather straight guy not be interested or a gay guy be like.

[Hannah Burner]

I'd rather talk about the straight men. If a gay man said, like, I'm just like, not really down with Paige.

[Gary]

How do you think I feel? Every gay squad live when a gay guy takes a microphone and goes, hi, Hannah. Hi, Paige. Paige, I'm obsessed with you. Hi, Hannah.

[Hannah Burner]

No, there's something with, like, me and gay men, I do just feel like, because obviously I am very girly, but I'm also very, like, snarky. And sometimes girls, like, don't have that same humor. And I think having a brother, gay.

[Gary]

Men loved my special. I think gay men who didn't see my Netflix special don't understand me is what I'm telling myself. But I do have a gay male following. It's just, I think, different kind of male gaze than yours.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah, I don't know what it is.

[Gary]

Oh, also, the lesbians messaged me and someone said, like, that they said that me and you are a lesbian couple.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah. Just not sexually.

[Gary]

Not sexually, but, like, we are a lesbian couple. And that you're, like, a FEMME icon, like, 100% in the lesbian community. And they were just like. We all just talk about you guys.

[Hannah Burner]

You're like the ruby rose of our relationship. And I'm like, well, look, when we.

[Gary]

Hold hands, my hand is facing down. Down.

[Hannah Burner]

Yeah.

[Gary]

You know that like, the girl. You're my boyfriend 100. That's why when everyone's like, who's Paige gonna date? I'm like, she.

[Hannah Burner]

She's in a happy relationship.

[Gary]

She's in. She's been in a happy relationship, has supported and cares for her.

[Hannah Burner]

So, yeah, no, I'm obsessed. We're obsessed with MRIs and the gays.

[Gary]

And if Us Weekly says Pedro Sorbo and Hannah Burner are dating. See you in court. See you in court. Put that on the record.

[Hannah Burner]

My God.

[Gary]

Anyway, yeah. Thank you so much for giggling with us. I do have. I added a show in Irvine. Hopefully, we'll be able to do it in Alabama.

[Hannah Burner]

Catch us outside and connect.

[Gary]

Catch us outside and we can't wait for Radio City.

[Hannah Burner]

Yes. Bye.