Giggling about boy moms, being amish, and brazilian waxes

Summary

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Giggly Squad Podcast

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Episode: Giggling about boy moms, being Amish, and Brazilian waxes
Date: January 28, 2026

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Overview

In this delightfully candid episode, Hannah and Paige leap headfirst into a range of typically “Giggly” topics: boy moms and mother-in-law dynamics, the anxiety of being accidentally Amish, personal care confessions (from Brazilian waxing to laser hair removal), their elevator humor, run-ins with celebrities like Martha Stewart, and plenty of hilarious detours. The pair riff on pop culture, share raw personal stories, and trade observations on romance, family, and the bizarre pressures of being women in the public eye. As ever, nothing is sacred—and nothing is off-limits.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up & Weekly Annoyances

• The episode kicks off with the hosts commiserating about podcasting more often and how it's making them more present in their lives.
• Paige shares her new habit: “I'll be talking to someone, and I'll be like, sorry, can you repeat that? Cuz I'm gonna talk about it on my podcast.” (02:58)
• The hosts joke about always being on the lookout for podcast content, sometimes startling their friends by noting ideas on their phones.

2. Men Do Weird Things Instead of Going to Therapy (Live Netflix Climber)

• Both hosts discuss the viral live Netflix climbing event, bemoaning “the things men do instead of going to therapy.”
• Paige: “First of all, I thought, this seems like a huge liability for Netflix…this guy dies. It's all done.” (04:29)
• They mock the notion of men risking their lives for spectacle, instead of just talking about their issues, and empathize with the climber’s wife.
• Quote: Paige: “There are men that will literally throw a fit if their wife goes on a girl’s weekend. And this man’s like, hey babe — so I might die tomorrow.” (05:20)

3. The "Good Guy" Red Flag & The Traitors Discourse

• Paige lays down one of her dating rules: If someone has to keep telling you they’re a “good guy,” watch out.
• “If someone has to repeatedly tell you who they are, that is not who they are. That’s who they want to be.” (12:11)
• Hannah: “Every guy that says they're a good guy is evil.” (13:02)
• They riff about Colton from The Traitors and how he (and others) set off alarm bells by self-describing.

4. Boy Moms & Mother-in-Law Drama

• Paige reads an anonymous DM from a listener seeking advice about being excluded by her boyfriend’s “boy mom”. She’s been uninvited from a family trip unless she gets engaged.
• “This is why you have to find a guy whose parents are dead. I live a peaceful life.” – Hannah (17:43)
• Both hosts agree: the boyfriend should lay down a firmer boundary, not go on the trip, and prioritize his partner of six years.
• Discussion touches on mothers who struggle to “release” their sons, and personal horror stories: “Some moms do want to have sex with their son, and that's something that's, like, above our pay grade.” (19:56, Hannah)
• Paige tells a mortifying story where an ex-boyfriend’s mother hit on the waitress in front of her, making her feel inadequate as a partner (20:52).
• Typology of Boy Moms:
  1. The mom you connect with deeply and become friends.
  2. The mom you're the opposite of, and he's breaking cycles.
  3. The mom you simply don’t connect with at all.

5. Pet Naming, Giggler DMs & Travel Mishaps

• Hannah describes helping a giggler name kittens (Sesame, Ricotta, Coconut) but explaining she prefers knowing a little about the owner before offering names.
• A brief, hilarious story about a giggler interaction in an airport where Hannah mistakes Ruth Bader Ginsburg for Judge Judy on a dog’s scarf: “What kind of feminist icon are you? Read a book.” (25:20)

6. Martha Stewart Encounter

• Paige’s Amazon/Martha Stewart episode aired. Martha was exactly as she seems: blunt, critical, yet iconic.
• Paige about Martha: “She was like, you could tighten it up.” (30:03)
• Hilarious exchange about changing sheets—Paige, who does hers weekly, is judged by Martha for not doing it more often: “It was as if I had leprosy. Like, I was the most contagious... she was like, once a week?!” (32:49)
• Surprised that Martha’s never ordered delivery food: “Why would I order pizza? I have an insane garden. If I want pizza, I’ll make a pizza.” (34:21)
• Both hosts admire how Martha commands a room and her critical approach.

7. Elevator (“Dad Joke”) Humor

• Discussion about Paige bombing recently with elevator jokes and the particular awkwardness of elevator small talk.
• “That was kind of highbrow humor. It was quick. It was a misdirection, honest, and a little dad jokey.” – Hannah (36:41)

8. Hair Confessions: Failed Glazes & Laser Remorse

• Paige recounts a hair disaster: a glaze gone wrong left the top of her hair black. “If you dye your hair black, what is your actual problem?” (57:55)
• She admits dissatisfaction with the new color and how it aged her.
• Discussion turns to body hair maintenance:
  • Paige’s confession: never had a Brazilian wax or full vaginal laser, preferring to shave entirely.
  • Hannah: “I only laser my butthole. They come in, and I’m like, I truly…” (62:20)
  • Both discuss the vulnerability and awkwardness of professional waxing/lasering. Paige: “I can’t get on all fours and have this woman look inside my vagina. In my asshole.” (62:11)

9. Reading is “Amish,” and TV Recommendations

• Paige describes morning and night reading routines and feels “elevated” and “better than people” for reading a real book.
• Hannah: “Do you know what that’s called? Amish.” (45:50)
• Discussion of a Netflix show Suddenly Amish leads to jokes about being “accidentally Amish” and the practicalities of an Amish lifestyle. (46:15+)

10. Personal Boundaries & Body Confidence in Showbiz

• Both discuss the normalization of changing clothes in front of strangers and how being “desensitized” is part of the job post-reality TV.
• “We are desensitized. It shouldn’t be like that…but you’re just at the point where you’re like, whatever, I don’t give a sh*t.” – Hannah (65:21)
• They reflect on being comfortable with their own bodies, the oddity of work environments where this is required, and how their backgrounds on all-women teams and all-girls schools play into this.

11. The Great Glam Chair Dilemma: The One Place Not to Fart

• Hannah reveals the glam chair is the only place she won’t fart, out of solidarity with those working close to her and the risk of social disaster.
• Paige cracks up as Hannah describes the perils: “If it comes out wrong — everyone’s going down with the ship.” (55:57)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Every guy that says they’re a good guy is evil.” – Hannah (13:02)
• “Some moms do want to have sex with their son, and that's something that's, like, above our pay grade.” – Hannah (19:56)
• “If someone has to repeatedly tell you who they are, that is not who they are.” – Paige (12:11)
• “I only ever laser my butthole. They come in, and I’m like, I truly…” – Hannah (62:20)
• “Do you know what that's called? Amish.” – Hannah (45:50)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:40] — Weekly Annoyances/How podcasting changes daily life
• [04:06] — Netflix Climber & The “Things Men Do” Discussion
• [12:10] — The ‘Good Guy’ Red Flag
• [15:05] — Giggler’s DM: Boy Mom Dilemma
• [20:52] — Paige’s Worst “Boy Mom” Story
• [24:09] — Naming Kittens & Airport Ruth Bader Ginsburg Mix-up
• [29:41] — Martha Stewart Filming Experience
• [32:51] — Changing Sheets Debate with Martha Stewart
• [36:41] — Elevator Dad Joke Fails
• [45:50] — Paige’s Reading Habit = “Being Amish”
• [55:19] — The One Place Hannah Won’t Fart (the Glam Chair)
• [57:55] — Paige’s Hair Glaze Fail
• [61:14] — Laser/Vagina Grooming Confessions

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Tone & Language

Informal, self-deprecating, witty, and raw. Hannah and Paige bounce off each other with deeply relatable humor, often calling out their own vulnerabilities and societal double-standards, while openly sharing anecdotes that oscillate from the ridiculous to the heartfelt.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode is a quintessential slice of Giggly Squad: rambling, unfiltered, and hilarious, yet with surprisingly sharp insights about family, relationships, and womanhood. If you want to hear best-friend camaraderie and commiseration about “boy moms,” pop culture, accidental Amish tendencies, grooming anxieties, and more, you’ll find plenty to love here. Expect laughter, some cringe oversharing, and a podcast energy that is as chaotic as it is comforting.

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Transcript

[Hannah]

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[Paige]

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[Hannah]

Things you actually care about.

[Paige]

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[Guest Host]

Okay, it's that time of year when.

[Paige]

Everything feels a little chaotic. Work, holidays, life, and somehow we're supposed to also have time to work out.

[Guest Host]

That's where the new Peloton Cross Training Tread plus powered by Peloton iq actually makes it doable.

[Paige]

It's Peloton's most elevated equipment yet, built.

[Guest Host]

To guide you in real time and keep things fresh every day. You can run, lift, sculpt, push and go and Peloton handles the rest. Peloton IQ gives you smart coaching that tracks your reps, corrects your form and suggests weights so you can focus on.

[Paige]

Feeling strong instead of guessing what to do next and when you want to switch things up.

[Guest Host]

The swivel screen makes it easy to go from a 45 minute run to a quick stretch or strength class in just seconds.

[Paige]

And the best part?

[Guest Host]

Peloton IQ builds a personalized plan with classes and instructors that fit fit your vibe and goals so you can actually look forward to your next workout. Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push and go explore the new peloton cross training tread [e-mail] sup gigglers Gary, fix your WI fi manifest that we can't be managed. I mean the day dropped just got away from me.

[Hannah]

Okay, we got a recommendation from Paige, on this one, welcome my Glendale giggler.

[Paige]

The home of your people.

[Hannah]

My people.

[Paige]

It's like an old Kardashian reference. I always forget to sometimes pick up my microphone.

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Yep, your little pink microphone. We're back, baby. We got our Duncan refreshers.

[Guest Host]

We're back.

[Paige]

We're a little late. We had a snowstorm. Things were happening. I'd like to jump right in with some things that have annoyed me thus far, far in my week.

[Hannah]

I love this because literally when I tell you we've been holding back the two episodes a week is giving me life. I've never had more to say. Get on it.

[Paige]

I actually think it's making me more present in my everyday life because I'm like, I'll be talking to someone. I'll be like, sorry, can you repeat that? Cuz I'm gonna talk about it on my podcast. No.

[Hannah]

The amount of times I don't respond to someone and just start writing in my notes app. And they're like, are you okay? I'm like, this is going to be perfect for something. I can't get into it right now. I'm curating content for the.

[Paige]

I also have a small surprise for you. Like, when we get into it, like, not even a surprise, like something I need to read to you anyway, first and foremost on my docket, like, I have a surprise.

[Hannah]

I can read. Continue. She's like, I figured out a sentence, I sounded out some words and, you know, it forms a sentence to me.

[Paige]

The other day, like, oh, the how to Giggle book. And I go, the what? Oh, the book my friend wrote. Yeah.

[Hannah]

You mean last year? You mean last year. I'm talking about 2026, baby.

[Paige]

Sorry, that was last fiscal year. I've moved on. My first gripe, because I think it happened, like, right after we recorded last week. Did you see the live Climber?

[Hannah]

I. I knew you were gonna say that. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. So I'm with Alec Colbert on the road and we're waiting to go on stage. And she goes, oh, this guy's like climbing. And we put it on in the green room. Of course, every girl is just like, go to therapy. Every girl is like, the things men do. Instead of going to therapy, what were your thoughts?

[Paige]

I thought it should be illegal. First of all, I thought, this seems like a huge liability for Netflix. They just bought another company. This guy dies. It's all good. It's all done.

[Caller/Listener]

No.

[Hannah]

And at the end, he's just standing on top of it. And I'm like, at any moment, he could sneeze. A bird could hit him in the head. Like, also, if he were to die, I mean, I guess they had, like.

[Paige]

I guess they'd cut the camera.

[Hannah]

The camera's been delayed a little. Yeah. But, like, that would have traumatized a generation.

[Paige]

When he got to the top, I go now, how's he getting in the building?

[Hannah]

That's what I was like, is there a helicopter coming?

[Paige]

How's he getting down?

[Hannah]

Also, the things men do to not take care of their family, like, spend some quality time with your children. And then having his wife watch like he's at war or something, was strange.

[Paige]

There are men that will literally throw a fit if their wife goes on like, a girl's weekend. And this man's like, hey, babe, so I might die tomorrow. You're good with the kids though, right? Like, what the.

[Hannah]

I wonder if they asked the wife, like, can you watch if she was like, no, I have a family to take care of. I can't watch my husband, like, rock climb.

[Paige]

I think there was one, like, sound bite that she gave that she was like, yeah. Like, he said. He talked about this when we were dating. I didn't think it was serious.

[Hannah]

I thought it was a bit.

[Paige]

It was a joke.

[Guest Host]

No.

[Paige]

The things that men will truly do to not just speak. Speak to someone who went to school to become a professional psychiatric helper. It's crazy.

[Hannah]

Like, call your mom, call your dad. Talk some of these, like, childhood things through anyone.

[Paige]

Call up your nearest pizza delivery person. Have a quick chat and figure it out. I mean, this. I just. I could. I actually was so mad watching it. At one point, I. I go, turn it off, turn it off. I hope this guy fall. I was so pissed.

[Hannah]

Well, I ha. Say it. We have no connection to this man, so I don't know who I'm looking for. Is he. Is he the villain? Did he do something wrong and he's trying to escape? Is this Godzilla? Like, what are we watching here?

[Paige]

Here's the other thing. I felt like a mom because I was like, okay, now if my child turned on Netflix, clicked this, and then all of the sudden thought he could scale our home, I'd be live it. And God forbid the guy fell. And my child is sitting there like, huh? Like, I just.

[Hannah]

How many 6 year olds are trying to, like, climb their dresser right now? And it's like, this we don't need.

[Paige]

It was a weird flex on Netflix's part.

[Hannah]

But, like, it also is annoying me because it did well. So people love fame so next thing, the men are gonna, like, phenomenally. There's gonna be weird doing. Like, I'm gonna go underwater for 72 hours. No, like, let's just practice empathy. Let's practice empathy. Love thy neighbor.

[Paige]

Let's practice empathy as a country. Let's, like, let's calm the fuck down.

[Hannah]

Also, you know that when she was first dating him, he was like, talking of his ass, like, I love climbing. And she was like, cool. I love a guy with a goal.

[Paige]

You know, a hobby.

[Hannah]

Loves you. Well, yeah, like, you see a challenge, and you. You. And, you know, she was sitting there like, how the fuck did we get here? Like, she was thinking about that other guy on Hinge who was like, I'm not really outdoorsy. And at first she thought he was boring, and now she's like, that would have been nice.

[Paige]

That could have been with a shoe salesman. Like, I could have been with someone normal.

[Hannah]

Stop pretending you're outdoorsy on these apps. We know you don't like mosquitoes. We know. Yeah, you like a sunset. That doesn't mean you want to go camping. Let's just be up front in the beginning, because that could be you. This is a warning.

[Paige]

You know what's funny? I was talking to one of my friends the other day, and she was like, oh. Like, yeah. Like, I did the half marathon. And then, like, one of my other friends was there and was like, wow. Like, how. How long did you do it? Like, how long was your mile? And she was like, oh. Like, I think it was, like, nine minutes. And I go, guys, you know, I've never ran a mile.

[Hannah]

Humble brag. And they looked. She was. You know, if you believe it, you can do it.

[Guest Host]

How?

[Paige]

Like, I go, our high school didn't do it. I didn't. I didn't join any organized sports. So who's telling me to run a mile?

[Hannah]

I've made you walk a mile before against your will.

[Paige]

That's different.

[Hannah]

That's a trick.

[Paige]

Tricked me. I mean, like, I've never gotten dressed and been like, I'm going to run. Watch me run.

[Hannah]

Well, famously, running a mile was my most traumatic event in college, and I promise not to run a time mile since, and I've been able to do that. So if you guys want hope and you want to look towards, like, something that's motivational and inspiring. Paige and I both haven't ran a mile in a long time.

[Paige]

Can I guess what your mile was at your height of, like, your peak athleticism?

[Hannah]

This is a sports podcast. Let's don't get me going, girl. This is my shit. Let's go. Wait. I've been waiting my whole life.

[Paige]

I'm gonna say at your peak, you could run one mile.

[Hannah]

Sprint in like.

[Paige]

Four minutes and 30 seconds.

[Hannah]

Okay, that's insane. Is it under four minutes? The best. The way. I love you so much. You're like, well, you're my best friend. You're. You're strong, you're fast. Okay, not to get into my dark past, but after you have tennis season, we all have a summer free and you can stay at the school and train. But some, not all of us do. And then I did my first season, like, freshman, and then I was. I did.

[Paige]

That sounds traumatized.

[Hannah]

So when you come back, the coach isn't just like, welcome back, guys. He's like, so what'd you guys do all summer? And are you ready to play? And we're like, what do you mean? And he go, it's like survivor. And he's like, okay, we're all gonna do the mile test and if you. If you run more than seven minutes, you're not making the team. So you're immediately up for an elimination.

[Paige]

More than seven minutes.

[Hannah]

Yes. So if you run over seven minutes, you not qualify for your scholarship. So my fastest was 6:15, which for like a sprinter, that's pretty good. And famously, my friend was puking in the bathroom after. So I went in, I started puking, the whole team started puking. And that's a trauma bond that you can never undo. And it's women supporting women. And we all felt so light and skinny afterwards. It was truly amazing. You would have loved it.

[Paige]

That I would love. So, yeah, no, I can't. I don't ever. That's why, like, when any. Anyone's ever like, oh, my God, you're going to be on Traders or like, you should do. I'm like, I'm not running for someone else.

[Hannah]

My thing, like, I've lived a lot of lives and I'm like, I've. I've done this. And the amount of messages I got from the last episode of me explaining the nuances of tennis, like, rudeness to you made me realize, like, like, also, I was on a team with seven girls who had to play against each other. Like, this was. This was torture. This was torture.

[Paige]

But speaking of traitors, I watched the first episode. Well, I fell asleep. But I, like, started the season. I watch the first episode. Yeah, it's so much funnier now that I know the Colton lore to go back and, like, be starting the season because in the very first episode, he kind of says, here's the thing with. Here's my thing with, like, men that.

[Hannah]

I think you are so locked in on, Colton. You're like, you're not getting away from me.

[Paige]

You're not getting away from me. Okay, I don't even know Cassie, but I stand with her. Here's my one thing that I've learned over my many years of dating that I used to, like, overlook in men. This also would, I would say, goes for friendships, too. If someone has to repeatedly tell you who they are, it's a quick lesson that that is not who they are. Like, that's who they want to be. And they, like, probably try and be that version of themselves, but that is not them. Like, if you're dating a guy and he's like, I'm a really nice guy. I'm just a nice guy.

[Hannah]

I'm a really good guy. I'm like, no one said you weren't. Why are you saying that to me?

[Guest Host]

I'm just, you know, I'm just stupid.

[Paige]

I. I get myself in these. I. I don't. It's like, no, you're evil. You're manipulative, and I've. And I've caught you.

[Hannah]

Every guy that says they're a good guy is evil.

[Guest Host]

Evil.

[Hannah]

Continue. Just.

[Paige]

And in the first episode, he's going up to, like, find out if he's.

[Guest Host]

A traitor or not.

[Paige]

And I don't even know what cast member says it. Like, oh, you'. You're laughing so much. Like, I wonder what you got. What you are like, traitor or faithful? And he says, I'm just a happy guy. You'll learn that.

[Guest Host]

I'm just.

[Paige]

I'm in a good mood.

[Hannah]

And then that was scary. I actually got chills when he said that.

[Paige]

I go, oh.

[Hannah]

Because first of all, no one's happy. Let's just get that.

[Paige]

No one's happy you're at work, period.

[Hannah]

No one's happy. You're a fucking liar. You're a fudgeing liar. No one's been happy in the history of civilization. You're like.

[Paige]

When he goes, everyone says, like, how did you, like, play in the NFL? First of all, you barely played in the NFL. Second, he was like, people think like, oh, I'm so big and mean. How did I hit people? We know. What are you talking about? Yeah, you stalk someone.

That's the.

I rather you be in the NFL, get cte because you got hit so many times than ever stalk anyone, you literal freak. Anyway, I don't even know if I can continue because he makes me so angry. And here's another thing. And this is the last thing I'll say, you ever, like, meet a girl. And, like, people will say, like, this is only a phrase for women because people hate women. But where they'll be like, she has crazy girl eyes. Like, you ever meet a girl? And you're like, oh, yeah. Now, I usually make that person my best friend because I'm like, you're a little bit crazy.

[Hannah]

I was about to say, that's the only people I surround myself with because I'm about to have a good time.

[Paige]

Like, you're a little bit nuts. I'd like to see what you do. He has crazy guy eyes. Like, he has the eyes where you're like. Like, you'll slit my throat. He's scary. Anyhow.

[Hannah]

And so I hope you guys are enjoying Traders.

[Paige]

I hope you guys are loving it.

[Hannah]

Also, on a lighter note, I. We've decided that if you want to name your baby and you're confused, you dm Paige. I realize I've had it maybe once before. It's too much responsibility for me. Like, I feel like that's too much of a heavy burden for me to carry.

[Guest Host]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I'm gonna be honest. The pages, though, they come pretty. They're coming to me with prepared, pretty good names, I would say. There's a handful of times where I'm like, I don't.

[Hannah]

We gotta start at the drawing board.

[Paige]

I'm like, I don't know if that's flowing the way you think it's flowing.

[Hannah]

But. But most. You don't know these people. She could be like, that was my, like, dead grandma's name.

[Paige]

Sometimes they'll say in parentheses, family name. I have to. And I'm like, okay. Now, I rarely ever read a DM from a giggler. Like, it's not my vibe. It's not, like, something we do on Giggly Squad, But I got a DM from this girl, and I'm not going to say her name because we want to keep her anonymous. And she was like, I don't know what of my friends listen to Giggly Squad, so please keep this. Like, kind of. And I'm like, I'll see what I can do. Because we were talking about, like, Victoria Beckham, and I love to talk about a boy mom, because I think they're just, like, so incredibly scary.

[Guest Host]

I get this message.

[Paige]

My boyfriend and I met in college, and we have been together for over six years. We're best friends and plan to spend our lives together. I really like his family and I've spent lots of time with them, but I've always felt a weird energy from his mom. She's very kind to me and I think she respects me me, which almost makes it more confusing for me. Over the years, she's implied on several occasions that time with me isn't real family time and doesn't seem to respect my boyfriend choosing to spend time with me and my family when it conflicts with her time. We live far away from home, so trips to family take planning. Over the holidays, she tried to get him to change his plans to stay with her longer instead of sticking to our original plan to visit my family. He did stand up to her that time and followed our plan. What pushed me over the edge is I just found out that I'm no longer invited on the family trip. I was originally told I could come, but months ago she said I was welcome. But over the holidays, it was clear I wasn't included. My boyfriend finally asked her directly and she said it would be too expensive and it's just for family this time, then added I'd be included once we were engaged or married. This really upset both of us. He's talked to her about it and expressed his frustration, but it's. But he's still going on the trip. I worry that expressing disappointment isn't enough of a boundary, and I wish he'd say we're a package deal and not go without me. Is it unreasonable to want that? Do you think a ring actually changes anything? Would love your advice.

[Guest Host]

Now I.

[Hannah]

This is why you have to find a guy whose parents are dead. I live a peaceful life. I go to sleep with rainbows and butterflies. Whenever there's a holiday, I pretend I don't know what we're going to do. And I'm like, whose house should we. And then I'm like, oops, mine again. Like, this is why I. I was shocked. I'm his number one woman. I'm his number one. I wake up and I say, who's your number one? And he says, you. And I said, thank you. But look, my message to the mom who's another woman in the arts, so we have to support her as well, is that I understand you loving your son so much you will push him away.

[Guest Host]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

If you don't do things that will make him happy. And this is because by the time she has a kid, you don't want her being like, fuck your mom. We're not spending time.

[Paige]

You know, I also think that, like, the guy should change his plans. Like, I feel like when you get married, it's normal for the guy to come to your family more and more if you're close with your fit. Like, I fully expect my husband to come with my family more often than his family because I'm the girl and like that.

[Hannah]

Because I think wherever the girl's family is, you have to prioritize it. It's happening in my family's life. Like, my brother, right. Fucking sucks because we're so close, but we respect his wife. That's his wife and what makes her happy. So she could be the best mom to their children.

[Paige]

Right?

[Guest Host]

To your literal surrogate daughter.

[Hannah]

To my surrogate daughter. So it's like, whatever the girl wants. But it's one thing if, like, he goes through girls all the time.

[Paige]

Right.

[Hannah]

Like, we've all been there where your brother. Yeah. You're like, okay, not this one again. And me having to pretend to care and have conversation and make up the.

[Paige]

Situations Gary has put me in, I could really. I'd actually like to sue. Like, there's so many times where I'm like, really?

[Hannah]

See you in small claims court, Gary. No, See you in small claims court. And then. Yeah, so this is. This is actually very common. I feel like it really is. And look, some moms do want to have sex with their son, and that's something that's, like, above our pay grade. Like therapy pay grade. Yeah.

[Paige]

Well, what I said to her was, one, this is crazy. Two, you're absolutely right. He should not go on the trip. If you had said to me, like, oh, we were date. We've been dating for a year. We've been dating for two years. Like, maybe I could see that. But six years, and you've gone on other family vacations. I think it's very odd to be uninvited. I also feel like. And I didn't say this to her in the messages, but I will before the pod comes out because I don't want to be blindsided on kickly squad. I feel like a lot of boy moms have in their head who they think their son should end up with. And it's this, like, mythical creature. I got hit with this in my, like, mid-20s. It was the first time ever I'd had, like, a boyfriend where me and the mom didn't, like vibe. And I feel like my first boyfriend ever. His mom set the precedent of, like, this is how moms should be.

[Guest Host]

And they.

[Paige]

And she was so cool. So I never had an issue with moms. Then I was like, 24, 25, and I dated this guy, and one time we were out to dinner with his family, and we had a waitress, like a normal girl waitress, and she would come over to the table and do her job, and the mom looked at my boyfriend and said, the waitress is stunning, isn't she? And then, like, would hit him.

[Hannah]

Oh, you almost Teresa judiced that table.

[Paige]

I remember turning and being like, what the. Come to find out, I remember learning that she thought that I, like, was not good enough for him whatsoever. That she felt like I was, like, uneducated, dated, and I was like, wait till I go on a reality show, you stupid bitch. It was like my first time ever seeing a mom hate you just because you're dating their son. And it's a slippery slope.

[Hannah]

I feel like with moms, there's three different directions. The first one is you meet the mom and you go, that's why he likes me.

[Paige]

Yes, She's.

[Hannah]

She's that girl. She's me. I would have been friends with her. We are friends, actually. I prefer her to. To him, actually. Me and her complaining about him actually, like, I love this woman. I will text her after we break up. So you're kind of like, oh, I love this because I see what he sees in me. Because he loves his mom. 2. Some guys are trying to break familial trauma where you meet his mom and you realize you're the opposite of his mom, and he's rebelling against her to be like, I don't want this in my life anymore. And you might be more like his dad. I don't know. But he might be trying to break rip.

[Paige]

Does his mom.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Do you think you're similar to Dez's mom?

[Hannah]

Well, I actually think DEZ and his mom are very similar, and that's why I would have loved her.

[Paige]

Got it.

[Hannah]

Like, she is him. Like, I am like my dad. And also, no, I just. All the time, I'm like, would she would have loved me? And he's like, I don't know. He's like. Holds it over my head. He's like, she wouldn't like that you didn't fucking do your bed this morning. I'll tell you that. She wouldn't have liked you getting all chatty in the. Whatever. She. He can use it against me. But. So then there is the mom. Yeah. And then lastly there's the mom who is like. Just not. Like you don't connect at all. And you go, oh, he's chosen wrong. Like, he's picked wrong. And, like, he's into me for whatever reason, but I'm not his. His end person because, like, I don't fit in with this family. But there are so many families that you might not fit in with. But he's, like, breaking the cycle of whatever family issues there are. Families are fucking complicated. The Beckhams. Right, The Beckhams.

[Paige]

It's crazy.

[Hannah]

I do want to say I got a DM of a gorgeous Giggler who had. And I'm in the DMs, you know, especially on tour. She rescued three kittens. Two were white, and one is, like, white and black. And she was like, hannah, what do I name them? Long brainstorming session. We came up with sesame for the black and white one, and then ricotta and coconut.

[Paige]

Okay. Sounds like a horrible recipe. That would taste disgusting.

[Hannah]

But cute names, like a chopped recipe. Well, this is the thing also, you guys, when you send me your kitten names, I need to know about you. I need to know where you're from, what's the vibe? I can't just give you.

[Paige]

Like, a little background.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Because I'll go off. I need to know something that connects with you. Also, in my travels, I did something super embarrassing. This girl stops me at the airport. Giggler. And has the cutest dog. And as you know, we love dogs. If they're cute. If they're cute, it's like men. If they're cute, I like them.

[Paige]

So they make me laugh.

[Hannah]

The dog, fine. The dog has this scarf around its neck. Accessorized, gorgeous. And I go, oh, my God, it's this woman. Like a cartoon woman. And I go, is that Judge Judy around his neck? I go, that is iconic. And she goes, no, that's Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It looked like, okay, you know what?

[Paige]

From the side. That side profile in a cartoon way.

[Hannah]

I just came in so confident, where I was like, yeah, Judge Judy. We love Judge Judy. And I was trying to be cool, like, she's having such a fun interaction with me. And she was like, you dumbass, read a book. Like, what kind of feminist icon are you? Read a book. And I was like, love your dog. Gotta go.

[Paige]

Love your work, Ruth.

[Guest Host]

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[Paige]

There's no right time.

[Guest Host]

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[Paige]

And you can add anything to your cachava.

[Guest Host]

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[Guest Host]

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[Paige]

So my episode came. Episode came out last night of Martha Stewart. She's. She's exactly. She's exactly what you want her to be and what you think she's going to be.

[Hannah]

Was she disappointed in you?

[Paige]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, you didn't do anything, but, like, overall.

[Paige]

Overall, she was like, you could tighten it up. You could figure it out. Like, I feel like. I feel like she was.

[Hannah]

See, I love.

[Paige]

She was like 10 minutes away from being like, I could hang out with you for a week and I'd have your all in line. Like.

[Hannah]

Like, I don't like people that immediately meet you and they're like, I'm obsessed with you. I love you. I'm like, you don't know me, first of all. Second of all, I know there's room for improvement.

[Paige]

Give me notes.

She was this close to looking at me and being like, why am I here? I felt it and I was like, and I stand with you.

[Hannah]

In her documentary, her parents were really critical of her and she's very critical, but that's why she's so successful in what she does.

[Paige]

Well, I actually was so in awe of her because she's just like, she's a legitimate entrepreneur powerhouse of a woman. Like, she walks into a room and. And everyone straightens up. I've never been on an Amazon set where things have run as smoothly as they did the day Martha Stewart was there. I was like, you go, oh, so.

[Hannah]

You guys are capable guys.

[Paige]

Whoa.

Like, people were running down the hall. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. They're like, do you want lunch? I'm like, when do we. When do we get lunch? All of a sudden, No, I gave.

[Hannah]

You frise with frittatas.

[Paige]

They were like, we have caviar in the break room. I'm like, what?

[Hannah]

No, There's. There's Danish scones being prepared right out of the oven.

[Paige]

I was so nervous to do it. And then what? I didn't anticipate what. Because, like, obviously in Veda, with pages, like, it's fun. It's cheeky. Like, we're not. I'm not asking, like hard hitting questions by any means, but I wasn't anticipating her asking me things back. Like, questions back. So we're so. There was this moment where I was.

[Hannah]

Wait, she loved you. She loved you.

[Paige]

I don't know.

[Hannah]

That means she loved you. Or she was just interrogating.

[Paige]

I think she was just like, I'm here to do a job. Let's do the job. Like, goodbye.

[Hannah]

Or she's like, who am I in bed with right now? No one told me.

[Paige]

So there was this moment where I was like, asking her about, like, sheets and like, all like. I was like, how often do you, as one does, how often do you change your sheets? And she was like, well, first of all, I don't change my own sheets, you actual nimrod. She was like, well, my housekeeper changes them every two to three days. And I was like, oh, my God, that's a lot. And then she like, turns and is like, well, how often are you changing your sheets? And I was like, very. I was very confident with my answer. I was like, well, I do it once a week. And she was. It was as if I had leprosy. Like, I was the most contagious. I was patient zero. She was like, once a week. Once a week.

[Hannah]

This is so good. Because the way Martha would have hated.

[Paige]

Me, wait till you get a load of my best friend.

[Hannah]

Wait till I got a make a wish project. Next she'll be coming through. Wait. Once a week is like, I thought, good. Overboard. It's overboard.

[Paige]

She looks at me and she goes, you're rich enough to have your housekeeper. Because then she was like, you're. I go, my housekeeper comes once every.

[Guest Host]

Two weeks to do like a deep, clean.

[Hannah]

Also housekeeper. Strong word. We have apartments.

[Paige]

I have crown molding, Hannah. She goes, you're rich enough to have your housekeeper come once a week. Like, I literally feel like she looked at me and was like, you're dirty. You're dirty. But it was phenomenal.

[Hannah]

It's good. But for. You need to every now and then have someone you know.

[Paige]

She insults me no less than four times. And she was right, like, every time.

[Hannah]

She should know.

[Guest Host]

You're right.

[Paige]

You're right.

[Hannah]

Oh, it's giving. It's giving. Like gymnastics coach. Like, I'm obsessed with that energy. And also, like, maybe you do. You're ready to step up. Like, you're not the page in her 20s. Let's Martha Stewart this.

[Paige]

One of my biggest revelations, though. I was like, oh, my God, I can't wait to hear her answer. I was like, when you want to, like, order food and not cook, like, what are you ordering? She goes, I. I've never done that. I go, Friday night, you've never ordered a pizza? She goes, why would I. Why would I order pizza? And I just was. I was so flabbergasted. I couldn't even get through because I couldn't.

[Hannah]

Have you read one of my books?

[Paige]

She was like, I have an insane garden. If I want a pizza, I'll make a pizza. Anywho, she's my.

[Hannah]

You have to do Paige, try to be Martha Stewart.

[Paige]

I'm like, I'm obsessed with her. Like, the attention she commands when she walks into a room and, like, the level of detail that she's like, no, do it. I'm like, yeah, I'm obsessed.

[Hannah]

Can I also say, when I meet an iconic person like that, and they are good at listening and they ask me questions, they're always the best people, because so many people just talk at you, especially in, like, the entertainment industry. So when you're talking to someone who, you know, they don't even need to be there, right? And they take the time to hear what you're saying. I'm like, oh, they're smart. Like, they're still learning at whatever age they're at, there's. They want to know what the kids are doing. They want to learn about different industries. So, anyway, Martha, shout out to you, we love you.

[Paige]

I wanted to bring up when she said that that woman died, the journalist, but she's not, in fact, dead. She's just dead to Martha. Like, I wanted to bring that up, but I was just like, I don't know if I should. Like, I'm not at that level with you yet. But, like, I think about it at.

[Guest Host]

Least once a week.

[Hannah]

That's the problem with, like, as a comic interviewing really famous people. Because one wrong question and the PR is like, and you're done. We'll never talk to you again. So it's this, like, thin line.

[Paige]

I know where I've been bombing recently. Bombing what? The elevator. And usually I can do a quick elevator joke to anyone.

[Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And then you leave on a high note. You don't have a follow up. We leave on a high. Babe, you need.

[Paige]

I don't know.

[Hannah]

We need new material. We need to do a writer's room.

[Paige]

Everyone said, now, look, I got into an elevator the other day. Man standing there had a dog. Okay? Woman walks in to the elevator. She also has a dog. I'm not even in the combo. Woman says to the man, so cute. He goes, thank you. I go, she was talking to the dog. They both looked. I go, sorry, this is my floor. I was more tough. I. I was like, guys, laugh. That's funny.

[Hannah]

Have a little tough crowd. Okay. Have a good night. I'm here till Wednesday. Get out of there.

[Paige]

I've crossed the line. My apologies.

[Hannah]

That was. That was kind of highbrow humor. It was quick. It was a misdirection, honest, and a little dad jokey. I thought you were gonna say. I thought you're gonna say thanks to. Oh, you're talking about the dog. See, that's a. I see. That was just bad audience. I was bad.

[Paige]

I'm doing elevator. Like, guys, you know, Anyway, I have.

[Hannah]

Such a wide range of personality and elevators. I'm either, like, deathly anxious, staring forward and, like, people. Everyone seems like they're standing too close to you, and you're just like, this is the most awkward thing I've ever done in my life. Or I'm with my friend, like, so passionate about a conversation, I'm not even aware there's people around. And I'm like, yeah, because Paige get east. Paige gets these infections if she has, like, anxiety, if she's overworking herself, which, like, I've had too. When you overwork yourself, it comes out through your body, and it can be your vulva. And. And then there's the. Like, someone tries to laugh with me, and I'm not really in the mood, but I'm, like, good enough to be like, okay, we'll have a little back and forth, but, like, let's not make this a daily thing, you know? I haven't brought it up in a long time, but I just feel like the gigglers need to know my Recent experience. I have a grandpa story.

[Paige]

We were having such a nice time, and now you're going to cry.

[Hannah]

But like, I did eight cities in 11 days. I'm tired. And I was in Seattle the last night, and I get to the hotel and when I tell you, I put the TV on blasting. Immediately passed out. Thank God. I set an alarm at like, to wake up. I wake up and I have all these missed calls from my husband, which.

[Guest Host]

That's terrifying.

[Hannah]

I know.

[Paige]

Is it?

[Hannah]

I was like, he's.

[Paige]

He was probably like, oh, I guess the ketchup's missing again.

[Hannah]

When you're honest, but you're just like, yeah, he's. Something's going on over there, but it's definitely not important. He also. He's so cute. He, like, is afraid that I will oversleep for a show, which knock on woods never happened. So every now and then he'll call me. I'm like, what's up? And he's like, are you getting ready yet? And I'm like, okay, yeah, I've gotten.

[Paige]

He's like, are you on your bronzer stuff yet?

[Hannah]

So I call him. He's like, are you using primer? I'm like, you know I don't use primer.

[Paige]

Do you not use primer?

[Hannah]

I mean, I put moisturizer on.

[Paige]

Got to get the milk grip primer. It's truly the best.

[Hannah]

Is that the green one?

[Guest Host]

Yeah.

[Paige]

It's in like a iridescent bottle. It's the best primer.

[Hannah]

I don't want to go anywhere that my makeup needs to last more than two hours if that's the case. Like I should.

[Paige]

But Hannah, you are oily and you of anyone, you should be using a primer. And that's for when you told and that's for when you told me that I would use any trend.

[Hannah]

Okay, that video, the. There was the funniest comment. Someone goes, only your worst enemy or your best friend could say this. And that's what giggly squad is. Your worst enemy. Or your literal sister could say, say this to you and you also, you got shot. And then you said, but thank you for that wound, cuz I've grown from it. I've been maimed, but not killed. Thank you. What I've been what I've been maimed means like you're hurt, but you're still alive.

[Paige]

Wait, I'm stealing that. I'm. That's exactly how I felt. I've been maimed but not killed. Okay, keep going.

[Hannah]

So I call DEZ back and he's like, what have you been doing? And I'm like, mama's sleeping. Mama's working. Mom is busy. And he's like, well, I've been at a social gathering, and there's an older man here who says he knew Jerry Burner. And I said, babe, I have to get ready in 10 minutes for a show. I can't do this. He goes, please just get on the phone with this guy. And the guy's like, hello?

[Paige]

He goes, I the situation you find.

[Hannah]

Yourself in are truly remarkable. He goes, I. I coach basketball in Brooklyn, and I battled, you know, a lot of, you know, I was a social rights activist, and your grandpa was at the top of it, and he changed me as a person. And he's the greatest guy I ever met. And I love Jerry so much. And I. I can't believe I'm talking to his granddaughter.

[Paige]

Now you're fully sobbing.

[Hannah]

Sobbing, sobbing. A sweet old man telling me how my grandpa was such a great person. Because sometimes I'll tell myself, like, you're literally making him to be bigger than he is. Like, he was a normal guy. Like, stop being sad about it. And no, he was literally my everything. And then I'm like, did you. Do you know I'm his favorite? I'm his favorite. And he's like, that's not important. I'm just telling you my experience.

[Paige]

How did DEZ even happen upon this convo?

[Hannah]

Well, he's with a bunch of, like, old guys, as they do, they find each other. And the guy was just saying, like, I used to coach basketball in Brooklyn. He's like, do you know this guy? Jerry Burden? Jerry Burn. Like, it's so crazy. The world can be so small. So mind you, it's 5:45. I take 20 minutes to do my makeup. When you guys see me walk out on stage, I'd been sleeping about 35 minutes before that. And when I got on stage, that's my prime. That's the first time, like, 7:00pm I'm ready to go. But so 5:45, I'm sobbing. And not like a. A beautiful one tier, like Kim Kardashian crying. Like, I'm, like, heaving. Every memory is coming back because, you know, I've been suppressing it for a while because everyone told me to stop crying over it, which was valid, but I've been holding it down. I also haven't talked to a psychic recently, so I'm like, this is my grandpa talking through this guy. To be like, hannah, I love you and I miss you, and don't forget that I'm that bitch. And maybe he didn't like that. I talked about Nana so much on the last pod and he's like, okay, remember, like, me too.

[Paige]

I feel like you can like, truly ask the universe for, like, signs. Like, like, I really feel like you could be like, grandpa, give me a sign. And it has to be like, so specific and like, things like that happen.

[Hannah]

Oh. So I'm sobbing, I'm sweating because I just woke up from a like four hour nap. There's lines on my face. I actually fell asleep with a bun. Which you know is a bad idea because then it's all crimped and crazy. The car is picking me up.

[Paige]

Never put your hair in a bun.

[Hannah]

No, something was going on. Oh, because I put a mask.

[Paige]

Wait, do you know that, like, I don't think I've ever seen you, like, in a bun. No, like, you only do a ponytail. Even to sleep. You're either hair down, you're actually, when you sleep, you're always hair down, which is another.

[Hannah]

I'll do messy bun if I'm hot, but I'm not committing to it. Like, I'll take it out real quick.

[Paige]

I've seen you when you're hot and I've never seen a messy bun. I've litter. Here's.

[Hannah]

Wait.

[Paige]

This is crazy. I don't even know how you do your messy buns. Like, I don't know the way your wrist goes. Like, I couldn't recreate it.

[Hannah]

You're like, I don't know who you are. And everything's been a lie up until this point.

[Paige]

Now that I'm thinking I really. Oh, you only ever do it a ponytail.

[Hannah]

If you're like, I do love a ponytail. It's cuz you guys, I love myself so much. One note. Don't love the shape of my face.

[Paige]

I love everything about myself except my general personality, how I look.

[Hannah]

So when I put it in a bun, I feel like everyone's like, whoa, there's her head. Like, it's just too much head and face. That's why, like, I don't do a fucking slick back bun. I do a slick back pony. Okay, like, no, but like, everyone has their thing.

[Paige]

Do you ever claw clip? You could start claw clipping.

[Hannah]

Yeah, except I like to lay down, I like to sit, and claw clips are not good. I know there's something going around. Like, claw clip for girls. Again, I support women. It's like a thing where, like, it. You can like, put your head back with the clip. But again, I digress. Also, People don't talk about what best friends do. Like, they say, oh, when you're having multiple conversations on different apps, people don't talk about when you're having multiple conversations on the same text chain where you're literally, like, both answering multiple things at the same. You know what I mean? Where you answer one story, continue telling another story, tell a new topic, and the person's also responding like, that's my flow.

[Paige]

City men think we can't run the country. I just had seven conversations in one in 10 minutes.

[Hannah]

And, like, we are. We are knocking it out. So, yeah, that is my prime time flow state.

[Paige]

I do want to say one thing, because I just, like, I feel different. I feel better than people. I feel like I've been reading my book, and when I say reading, what.

[Hannah]

Page are you on?

[Paige]

I'm on, like, 130.

[Hannah]

Have you been reading it the right side up?

[Paige]

I've been reading it while simultaneously comprehending it.

[Hannah]

Are you highlighting?

[Paige]

I'm not highlighting because I'm like, I'm not crazy.

[Hannah]

When are you reading? Like, what part of the day?

[Paige]

I tell you. So, like, this morning, I woke up, like, early. Like, 6:45, 7:00am And I'm like, okay, I'm not getting out of bed. And typically, I'll go on TikTok. Like, I'll scroll. I'll, like, look at my apps, look at my email. I, like, read for, like, 20 minutes in the morning. And then, like, before bed, like, Instead of scrolling TikTok, I'll, like, read, get really sleepy, and then, like, throw something on the tv and then, like, immediately fall asleep. And I'm like, I have a frontal lobe. And she's there. She's.

[Hannah]

Do you know what that's called? Amish.

[Paige]

That's so crazy.

[Hannah]

You just fully Amish.

[Paige]

That's so crazy. You just said that the show I put on last night was called Suddenly Amish.

[Hannah]

Yeah, and you're about to get caught. It's on hbo, and it's normal people.

[Paige]

Thinking maybe they want to be Amish, so they go test it out. We're so alive.

[Hannah]

It's genius.

[Paige]

So that's so scary.

[Hannah]

No, because I was honestly, like, Amishness. Amishia. What do they call it? I'm a shot. I'm in. Whatever. It's. I'm into it. They're onto something.

[Paige]

Well, they said that their people are.

[Hannah]

Besides, like, the young. I have a couple notes.

[Paige]

Small, small notes. The younger generations are. Are leaving the Amish community, and so they're really dwindling, and so they're trying because.

[Hannah]

Do you understand what, like an discussion would be when you're Amish? They'll be like, oh, like, well, first of all, I don't know if they know celebrities, but they'll be like, how much milk should we put in this recipe? And they're like, google it. And they're like, we can't. And then like, you just can't Google things like that.

[Paige]

I mean, they don't have electricity.

[Hannah]

They have to do candles.

[Paige]

I don't even think they have.

[Hannah]

They don't even have scented candles. Maybe they do have scented.

[Paige]

No, I'm sure they. I'm sure they've mixed something.

[Hannah]

Lavender. They mix something. Yeah.

[Guest Host]

You know what I would be interested.

[Paige]

In, like, their hair care because they've.

[Guest Host]

Got such long hair.

[Paige]

Like, Tresemme should really wait.

[Hannah]

You're so right. No breakage.

[Paige]

No breakage.

[Hannah]

And they're going in braids too.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Guest Host]

Like what?

[Paige]

Shampoo condition. They're not using any.

[Hannah]

They're not Dyson air wrapping.

[Paige]

They don't even know what that is.

[Hannah]

I wonder what they do for, like, face masks at night. They probably use banana.

[Guest Host]

Do they even know the face masking is a thing? No.

[Paige]

Some of them have phones and I feel like some of them are on Tick tock.

[Hannah]

There is one Amish girl that I always get tagged with because people say we look alike, so honestly, we do.

[Paige]

It's pretty for the longest and I mean, like, probably till I was in high school, I thought Amish and Mormon, same thing. And I mean, it's like.

[Hannah]

I mean, there's a Venn diagram. Yeah, there definitely is a Venn diagram. They would. If they would like each other more than they would like like us, I would say.

[Paige]

Anyway, we're not getting into it.

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[Adam Grant]

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[Hannah]

I feel like this is the part of the episode where we Always talk. Like, people say we're not organized, but we're actually super organized. It's just, like, organized chaos. This is when I bring up my one inappropriate. Like, poop.

[Paige]

Yeah. Like something that you did in public that, like, should be illegal.

[Guest Host]

Yeah.

[Ad Voice]

Let's.

[Hannah]

Not to brag, but I found the one place I don't fart.

[Paige]

This seems like a riddle. The one. The one. Can you identify the one place that Hannah Burner doesn't fart like that.

[Hannah]

I'm like, this is actually inappropriate, and I'm gonna hold it.

[Paige]

You're gonna hold it. Okay.

[Hannah]

Not sex.

[Guest Host]

Church.

[Paige]

But I'm like, you haven't gone.

[Hannah]

That would require going.

[Paige]

Yeah. The doctor's office. No, you let it definitely.

[Hannah]

It's a. It's. Is that normal? Is that normal?

[Paige]

Wait, I need to think. Wait, I really. On a plane.

[Hannah]

No, you're. Wait, no, That's a plan. You can't get away with it so easy. Sorry, that was. Wait, this is actually. So you coded? Okay, I'm gonna give you a clue.

[Guest Host]

Okay.

[Hannah]

The Kardashians talk about it. It's something you love to do.

[Paige]

The Kardashians talk about it. It's something I love to do.

[Hannah]

Like, I hate it. And you're, like, glam. I would do it all the time.

[Paige]

Glam. In the glam chair.

[Hannah]

Now I'm gonna explain to you guys what a glam chair is. You sit down. You know what a goddamn chair is? No, but, like, you sit down and a lot of strangers surround you. Like, it's a makeup artist. They're. They are on you. Like, there's no space, and you're sitting, and if you even, like, move a little bit, it could throw them. Like, you have to sit still.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

The makeup chair is the one place where I will hold my fart until the end. They leave, and then I. Like, my body's, like, in turmoil because there's no if it comes out wrong. Like, that's a. That's like.

[Paige]

It's.

[Hannah]

Everyone's going down at the ship. It's meant to. They're trying to do their job. You can't blame it on.

[Paige]

One of them is waterboarding, honestly, with air torture chamber.

[Hannah]

And there's. They don't want to be there. No. But if I were to fart and it smelled or like they heard it, I had to sit with them for another hour.

[Paige]

Remember the girl that was selling her farts?

[Guest Host]

Do you remember?

[Paige]

Yeah.

What a time.

[Hannah]

I feel like she also was lying a little bit also. Do you know where I'LL fart. This is so fudged up. And, like, people might never look at me the same again.

[Paige]

Where we're past.

[Hannah]

I'll find an elevator. I'll find an elevator. I don't care. Because I believe karma. Karma works in mysterious ways. And there's some people. You ever walk to an elevator and smells like. You deserved it. You deserved it. That's just me passing it on. Wait.

[Paige]

Speaking of glam, I'm actually having, like, a real serious crisis.

[Hannah]

Oh, my. Oh, no.

[Paige]

So I had to do something for a hair brand the other day, and I don't dye my hair, so they were like, oh, she has, like, a couple grays. And Mitchell was like, no problem. I'll, like, throw a little. I'll throw a little glaze on. Mm. The glaze was the wrong color. Okay, so the. Wait till you see me in person tomorrow. It's not even doing it justice on here, because we're virtual. The top layer, Hannah, of my hair is black. I've been washing my hair multiple times a night with baking soda, trying to get it to. I'm not. I think. You think I'm exact.

[Hannah]

That's so Amish of you.

[Paige]

I have black hair. I have black hair on the top. And then the Wait.

[Hannah]

Why couldn't he just, like, put some powder on top?

[Paige]

Because they were, like, long. He was like, oh, yeah, I'll just, like, throw. And so I texted him, and I was like, hey, we need to fix my glaze. I'm freaking. I. I look. I look insane. And no shade to anyone who dyes their hair black. But if you dye your hair black, what is your actual problem?

[Hannah]

Well, it's. It's giving. Like, the Addams Family, I guess.

[Guest Host]

You know what?

[Paige]

I thought I was like. I felt in the mirror. I was like, I look old. Like, I. I felt like it aged me. And now I'm like, oh, Now I understand why older women, like, do tend to go lighter, like, in their hair, say, blue.

[Hannah]

They're like, give me a light purple. Let's go.

[Paige]

Because I'm like, I look so harsh. And, like, And I love my color brown. That's why I literally don't dye it.

[Hannah]

Yeah. And so now it is crazy how, like, a guy could never tell the, like, slight hue of change.

[Paige]

I've tried to show her hair. I've tried to show what I mean 8,000 times. I'm like, no, open your eyes and look at this.

[Hannah]

You got hair. You're having a full mental breakdown.

[Paige]

That's your hair. I go, it's not my. It's not my hair, actually. This is not my color hair.

[Hannah]

Well, you know what this is? This is karma. Because our second season of reality tv, I started sprouting grays, and Paige took it upon herself to mama monkey me, and at the pool, sit on top of me and yank out with a tweezer every single gray hair, which is apparently rule number one with grays. Don't do that.

[Guest Host]

But.

[Hannah]

And I knew that in my heart of hearts, I was like, definitely not supposed to do that. But my best friend was having so much fun in that.

[Paige]

I love grooming. I love grooming other people.

That's why I.

You were like, that's why I've dated. I've dated so many male projects. Because I'm like, oh, give me 15 minutes with you, and I'll just.

[Hannah]

Yeah, if I just pop a couple pimples, it's go time. I also discovered something I've never done before, and I don't know how. I'm 34, and I haven't done this before. But you know that you. If you're in a rush and you're really greasy and because you haven't washed your hair in a bit, that you could just wash the front of your hair.

[Paige]

Well, I have bangs, so I've done that before. But just like a hooker shower. What's it called?

[Hannah]

Yeah, you. Hooker shower.

[Guest Host]

No, that.

[Hannah]

I could be making that up.

[Paige]

No, a hooker shower is when you.

[Hannah]

Just do your armpits.

[Paige]

I thought it was like, you just shave.

[Hannah]

I know this. I did this in my.

[Paige]

Yeah, I thought it was like, you just shave your vagina and then, like, use perfume.

[Hannah]

Oh, that makes sense, too. But, yeah, you put your hair in a bun, but then you take out the front. Like, you're about to do a. A slick back, and then you just do full shampoo conditioner. And it was incredible because, yeah, like, life has changed for me. I think I could beat the patriarchy now.

[Paige]

Oh, God. This is actually something that my friend Stephanie was like, I can't believe you've never said this on the podcast. Because she was shocked when I said this to her. She was like, I think you're duping everyone. She had said something, and I was like, oh, I have to shave my vagina. And she was like, why would you have to shave your vagina? And I'm like, what do you. What do you mean? Like, I don't want to have a bush. And she was like, why don't you have your vagina lasered?

[Guest Host]

You've Lasered.

[Paige]

Everything else ever. And I would like to say I've never once had a Brazilian wax. I've never had my vagina lasered. And I think everyone thinks that the so not page coded.

[Hannah]

Well, why did you stop there? Like, at that point? Just, like, they're already doing it, like, what?

[Paige]

No, she said the same thing. She was like, but you've gotten your bikini line lasered. And I'm like, yeah, and I've had it waxed before. And she was like, so why did you stop there? And I said, I don't know. She was like, you go to the gynecologist, you spread wide open. Like, what is the difference between getting it lasered? And I. It's something in me that you're, like, shy. I'm like, I'm sorry, I can't get on all fours and have this woman look inside my vagina. In my asshole.

[Hannah]

Inside your soul?

[Guest Host]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like, there's just something about it where I'm like, I don't want.

[Hannah]

So you don't have your butthole laser?

[Paige]

No, I.

[Hannah]

No, this is all. I laser. I only laser my butthole. They come in, and I'm like, I truly.

[Paige]

I'm not kidding. I shave my vagina. Not every day, because that would be insane. But, like, every time I know I'm having sex, like, I shave my vagina.

[Hannah]

People do use, like, a trimmer, which.

[Paige]

No, I'm bald.

[Hannah]

Like we didn't do back in the day. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Sorry.

[Paige]

I didn't mean to get so aggressive.

[Hannah]

I love if people. We start really light, and then if you make it to the end of the episode, you're like, yeah, I don't have hair in my labia.

[Guest Host]

She.

[Paige]

She was shook. She, like, literally.

[Hannah]

People don't talk about. I have hair inside my labia. Majora not menorah. Google it. No. And so, like, when they laser, they have to, like, open a flap. Open it up. Yeah, they open it up, and they ring the doorbell, and, like, at some point, I'm like, no one's even gonna see this. Like, you. My husband's never even seen this area that you're in in my vagina right now. But, like, it's sensitive. It's sensitive.

[Paige]

No, I'm just like, I guess. Do you want to know? Probably what it was is, like, the.

[Hannah]

Aren't bushes bad? I don't know.

[Paige]

But, like, the first time I ever, like, shaved my vagina, like, I didn't want to tell my mom, like, I shaved my vagina. I don't know. Why?

[Hannah]

Yeah. Cuz it means you're, like, becoming a woman and it's weird.

[Paige]

Yeah. So just, like, ever since then, I've just, like, kept it to myself.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God. You never talked to anyone about it. You're like, let's wait to talk to all the gigglers. That'll be more comfortable for me.

[Paige]

But now I'm like, I mean, I guess I should just, like, go get it lasered. But it's such a commitment. But you don't have to worry about the sun if it's just your vagina, which is the upside.

[Hannah]

We. Yeah, we are in an industry full of a lot of, like, gays and girls, and we do a lot of, like, trying on clothes, like, and, like, hipaa.

[Paige]

Like, I know they're not gonna, like, run around and be like, I know a Paige's vagina looks like. But it's. Yeah, it's just such an intimate moment.

[Hannah]

No, you're so right. But do you feel like with other stuff, not your vagina, but, like, because we do so much fashion stuff, we are so easy to take our shirts off with strangers, Hannah. Which is not normal, by the way.

[Paige]

I actually, like, I think I offended.

[Guest Host]

Someone the other day.

[Paige]

I was on. I was on set.

[Hannah]

I'm getting reported.

[Adam Grant]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Actually, like, if there was hr you're on a list.

[Hannah]

No, I'm on some type of list.

[Paige]

I was on a set and they were like, hey, we're gonna have to mic you up. And I had a dress on that had a slit, and so I hiked the slit up because they were like, we have to put a thigh strap on. So I hiked the slit up and the guy was like, yeah.

[Hannah]

Oh.

[Paige]

And I go, I'm from reality tv. I don't give a. Like, it's the thing.

[Hannah]

We are. We are desensitized. It shouldn't be like that, but, like, like, we used to change our clothes and with, like, cameras around and you don't know who's watching, but you're just at the point where you're like, whatever, I don't give a. Like, I'm so tired. I'm not gonna go into the other room to take my shirt off. Like, whatever.

[Paige]

You were on a sports team of all women. I went to an all girls high school. Like, if you're getting, like, we were getting undressed, like.

[Hannah]

Yeah. I recently was in a place, though, where, like, I was wearing a bra and they wanted to steam my shirt because I don't show up anywhere professionally. And there was, like, five women there. But I, like, obviously, I just met them when I walked in, and they were like, we can all leave. And I'm like, no one's leaving. I'm wearing a sports bra. Like, no. But then I realized maybe they feel uncomfortable.

[Paige]

The other day, I got a massage, and she came to my apartment, and she's talking to me, and she's like, okay, and then we'll do this and this. And I just started taking my pants off. And she goes, okay, I'll step in the bathroom and give you a minute. I go, it's fine. Let's just get in there. I'm like, these are my tits. And here we go.

[Hannah]

But then part of it is like, have we just become confident where it's like, this is our body. We're not, like, sexualizing it all the time. I guess I feel like I'm an artist.

[Paige]

When it's a girl and I'm in that type of situation, I'm like, okay, whatever. Like, you have a vagina. I have a vagina. When it's at a work thing, I feel like this is going to get faster. I'm not embarrassed. If you see my underwear. You know I have underwear. Like, you know I have a vagina.

[Hannah]

We have a weird fucking job.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, most people's jobs aren't like, can you just walk around in your underwear for 10 minutes while we figure out what you're going to wear? And can you talk to people that you've just met five seconds ago? Like, our comfortability factor of, you walk in a room, there's people working on a project you've never met, and you're just like, tits out. It's wild. But I'm proud of us.

[Paige]

Yeah, no, I'm proud of us, too. We don't have, like, body dysmorphia.

[Guest Host]

So that's.

[Hannah]

That's why people are like, how do you talk for an hour about nothing? And I'm like, it's easy compared to just showing your tits to strangers all the time. My mom's gonna call me after this and be like, hey, what.

[Paige]

What do you do for a living?

[Ad Voice]

Actually.

[Paige]

My mom's gonna call me and be like, hair should be on your vagina because it stops bacteria from getting in there. Maybe that's why you're getting so many UTIs, because you don't have any hair on your vagina.

[Hannah]

She said it to me before, okay, it's like eyelashes.

[Paige]

It's like eyelashes and nose hair. She said she was like, there's supposed to be hair. I'm like, okay, well, I'm from the 90s so I can't, you know.

[Hannah]

Anywho, well, gigglers, we love you so, so much and thank you for giggling with us.

[Paige]

And thank God for my Dunkin refresher because I don't think I would have gotten to the vagina story without it.

[Hannah]

Wait, are you drinking a mango pineapple?

[Guest Host]

I am.

[Paige]

And we never get the same thing.

I know.

[Hannah]

Look at us. Twinsies.

[Paige]

It's so good we did that, like.

[Hannah]

Without even knowing Simpatico.

[Ad Voice]

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[Hannah]

Experian par le Tu francais hablas espanol.

[Caller/Listener]

Par Liano if you've used Babbel, you would Babbel's conversation based technique teaches you useful words and phrases to get you speaking quickly about the things you actually talk about in the real world. With lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts and voiced by real native speakers, Babbel is like having a private tutor in your pocket. Start speaking with Babbel today. Get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription right now at babbel.com acast spelled B A B B E L.com acast rules and restrictions may apply.