Giggling about con mums, toe nails, and new friends

Summary

Giggly Squad: Episode Summary - "Giggling about Con Mums, Toe Nails, and New Friends"

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Release Date: April 1, 2025
Duration: Approximately 55 minutes

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Introduction

In this episode of Giggly Squad, hosts Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo dive deep into a mélange of personal anecdotes, humorous banter, and candid discussions. True to the show's essence, they make fun of everything, especially themselves, while touching upon topics like pop culture, personal relationships, and everyday mishaps.

Main Discussions

1. Theater Kid Banter [02:31 - 04:22]

The episode kicks off with Hannah and Paige reminiscing about theater kids, poking fun at their perceived superiority in creative endeavors.

• Hannah: "I'm literally such a high school bully on this pod. I'm like, get in the locker, you theater nerd." ([03:10]).

• Paige: "Do you remember kids who knew how to use garage band? I was like, they're gonna win a Tony. Yeah, they're gonna win a Grammy." ([02:58]).

Their playful teasing underscores the friendly dynamic between the hosts, highlighting their ability to laugh at themselves and others.

2. Beauty and Style Confessions [03:35 - 04:22]

Paige shares a humorous moment about her blue eyeshadow, which Hannah immediately notices.

• Paige: "I went to the bathroom before the pod, looked at myself, and I said, if Paige doesn't mention my blue eyeshadow, she doesn't care about me. And you brought it up within the first two minutes." ([03:35]).

• Hannah: "It's something with your hair color and the blue and your eye color. Cause your hair color is honestly your eye color. And so it's so cohesive." ([04:02]).

This segment showcases their friendship's attentiveness and the playful critique that defines their interactions.

3. Navigating Interactions with Straight Men [04:22 - 07:09]

Paige delves into her recent experience with a straight man, coining the term "YouTube waterboarding" to describe the constant barrage of YouTube videos men share to connect.

• Paige: "I was with a man recently, and he keeps showing me YouTube videos. It made me feel like an outdoor cat who brings you a dead pigeon." ([04:25]).

• Hannah: "I think it is. He keeps showing like, bro, watch this." ([04:43]).

They humorously lament the disconnect and misunderstanding in communication styles, especially in dating scenarios.

4. Health Hiccups and PMS Struggles [08:04 - 14:33]

Hannah recounts her battle with a severe urinary tract infection (UTI), intertwining it with her experiences during high school and dealing with her mother.

• Hannah: "I have to ask to leave the house. Like I could never just leave my house." ([10:34]).

• Paige: "I was PMSing so bad on like the day, two days before my period." ([13:18]).

They discuss the physical and emotional toll of health issues, emphasizing the importance of support systems and self-care.

5. Egg Freezing and Birth Control Tales [12:30 - 14:33]

The conversation shifts to egg freezing and the logistical challenges of birth control.

• Hannah: "They want me to go on birth control for like a week and I was just like, I don't want to." ([12:30]).

• Paige: "Do you think if you just like, hang out with me enough days in a row, like my alpha energy of my period might, like, synchronize?" ([12:42]).

Their candid discussion highlights the complexities and personal decisions surrounding reproductive health.

6. Friendship Dynamics and Texting Habits [25:09 - 33:57]

Hannah and Paige explore the intricacies of maintaining friendships, especially amidst modern texting habits.

• Paige: "I have a friend named Hayley who I love. Hailey harasses me over text." ([33:30]).

• Hannah: "I keep getting, like, all these tiktoks of, like, Selena and Benny, and, like, they've been doing, like, press and, like, whatever." ([18:23]).

They emphasize the challenges of balancing communication styles and setting boundaries in friendships.

7. Paige's Date with Tennis Player Kim Cloisters [26:51 - 33:57]

A standout segment where Paige shares her romantic encounter with tennis star Kim Cloisters.

• Paige: "Kim Cloisters was like, oh, my God, you play tennis. We should hit sometimes. That's like, okay, let me try to think of your world." ([27:15]).

• Hannah: "I have a question. Yeah. Does being single correlate with less UTIs?" ([10:08]).

Their storytelling captures the nervousness and excitement of dating someone in the public eye, blending humor with genuine emotion.

8. Preparing for a Late-Night Show Appearance [51:30 - 54:54]

The hosts discuss their impending appearance on Jimmy Fallon’s show, juggling excitement with anxiety.

• Paige: "How are you doing? We're not doing good." ([51:25]).

• Hannah: "I'm definitely gonna take a beta blocker." ([53:52]).

They share their strategies for crafting engaging stories and managing stage fright, reflecting their growth and aspirations in the podcasting realm.

Notable Quotes

• Hannah on Self-Awareness: "Nobody changes." ([24:25]).

• Paige on Dating Habits: "When I date, I keep letting them pick me and I don't like them." ([25:42]).

• Hannah on Puberty and Relationships: "Men are simple." ([25:35]).

• Paige on Friendship Texts: "Haley likes to text continuously as the thoughts come to her." ([33:08]).

These quotes encapsulate the hosts' candidness and ability to reflect deeply on personal and relational dynamics.

Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Hannah and Paige offer listeners a blend of humor and heartfelt honesty. They navigate topics ranging from the superficial—like fashion and beauty—to the profound, such as personal health struggles and the complexities of relationships. Their conversations underscore the importance of authenticity, self-awareness, and maintaining genuine connections amidst life's chaos.

Key takeaways include:

• Authenticity in Relationships: Emphasizing the need to be true to oneself rather than conforming to others' expectations.

• Navigating Modern Communication: Highlighting the challenges of maintaining friendships and romantic relationships in the age of digital communication.

• Personal Growth and Aspirations: Demonstrating their journey towards broader platforms like late-night shows, showcasing their evolution and ambition.

Upcoming Projects

As the episode wraps up, Hannah and Paige tease their book press run, hinting at exciting content and collaborations ahead. They express gratitude towards their listeners and share their optimism about future endeavors, including their appearance on Jimmy Fallon’s show.

• Paige: "We're about to go on a book press run and sit on the couch at Fallon." ([51:18]).

• Hannah: "There's something about late night talk shows that are, like, very exciting to me." ([51:46]).

Their enthusiasm reflects their passion for connecting with their audience and expanding their creative horizons.

Closing Thoughts

This episode of Giggly Squad encapsulates the dynamic chemistry between Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo. Through laughter and vulnerability, they offer listeners a relatable and entertaining glimpse into their lives, encouraging authenticity and resilience. Whether discussing the minutiae of beauty routines or the complexities of modern relationships, the duo maintains a balance of humor and depth that defines their unique podcasting style.

Transcript

[Hannah]

Hannah, I know you're picky with your headphones, so you're actually going to love these. They're called Noom1. NWM1 is how it's spelled.

[Paige]

Oh, those are those ones from Japan. Wait, they actually look so cool. They're like futuristic looking, like it's like a donut around your ear. Like they're like open back headphones and there's no sound leakage. I've heard of these.

[Hannah]

And they use this technology called psz, its personalized sound zone, which lets you enjoy your music without anyone disrupting you, which is perfect for me on a plane.

[Paige]

Also, you don't disturb anyone around you because I don't want anyone knowing what I'm listening to. Or what like murder podcast I'm trying to get to the bottom of Solve a mystery. Yeah, it creates like a bubble of sound around your ear, which is really cool. And it's lightweight. I hate when it's heavy and it's like it just feels like it's weighing on my little ears. And the battery lasts up to 20 hours on a single charge, so there's like not a lot of admin.

[Hannah]

You can wear them anywhere. They're perfect from working from home, hanging out with your family or if you're on a plane just vibing. And guess what? They're available right now on Amazon and there's even a limited time discount happening. Check out Noom 1 at our Amazon store today and grab yours with the 20% discount campaign. Trying is believing. You guys know I love organizing. I love a new season and updating my wardrobe. And there's nothing I love more than doing it with looks under a hundred doll. And if you're like me, then you love a steal and you love a trend. Nordstrom has everything for spring fashion. Under a hundred dollars, Cute matching sets, mini dresses, a lot of 70s inspired denim, which I'm very into. For the spring they have brands like Mango Skims, Levi's, Free People Reformation, everything you could ever want. Plus one of my favorite spring trends is big bags. Like sleep slouchy big bags. And I just think they're so cool. Nordstrom also makes it just so easy for you. They have fast delivery and risk free shopping with the option to return. My favorite is that they have two day and next day shipping and then also free standard shipping. But there's nothing I love more than instant gratification.

[Chris]

And when I can do next day.

[Hannah]

Shipping like I'm doing it, you can buy online or you can pick up today or pick up tomorrow for A wider selection. You can choose Curbside at Nordstrom stores or in store at Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack. Explore more in Nordstrom in stores or [e-mail] or download the Nordstrom app.

[Paige]

Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix your wifi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my gregarious Gigglers? Have I said that one before?

[Hannah]

I don't know, but why did it pop into my head? Garageband. What's up, my garage band? Gigglers.

[Paige]

Do you remember kids who knew how to use garage band? And I was like.

[Hannah]

Knew how?

[Paige]

I was like, they're gonna win a Tony. Yeah, they're gonna win a Grammy.

[Hannah]

They're theater kids. Yeah, with cooler outfits. Sorry. No. Hate to the theater kids.

[Paige]

No hate to the theater kids. We support.

[Hannah]

We're always ragging on them.

[Paige]

You are.

[Hannah]

I know you are.

[Paige]

You still haven't watched Wicked?

[Hannah]

I'm such a bully. Like, I'm literally such a high school bully on this pod. I'm like, get in the locker, you theater nerd.

[Paige]

I performed at New have. I realized it's like, where Yale is. So I get on stage, and I'm like, what's up, you fucking nerds? And I was like, oh, my gosh. Wait.

[Hannah]

You're gorgeous right now.

[Paige]

Wait, can you guys mark that? This has never happened with your blue eyeshadow. Do you know what's so funny? I went to the bathroom before the pod, looked at myself, and I said, if Paige doesn't mention my blue eyeshadow, she doesn't care about me. And you brought it up within the first two minutes.

[Hannah]

I love it.

[Paige]

It's like. I think it's.

[Hannah]

It's something with your hair color and the blue and your eye color. Cause your hair color is honestly your eye color. And so it's so cohesive. Wait.

[Paige]

I'm obsessed.

[Hannah]

And you do your lips like, the same color as your cheeks? You're just.

[Paige]

Wait, it was a risk.

[Hannah]

No, I love it.

[Paige]

Wait, you love. I'm obsessed. Okay. I think this blue. It's like a matte light blue. It's either Halsey's line. No, I think it's about. It might not be. I'll put in the newsletter. Put in the newsletter. I hung out with a straight man. Accidentally.

[Hannah]

Where?

[Paige]

Recently.

[Hannah]

Why?

[Paige]

Work stuff. Okay, Chris, tell me if I'm right or wrong. They do this thing where, like, when they try to connect with you, they keep showing you YouTube videos, and it made me feel like an outdoor Cat who brings you a dead pigeon and you go, oh. And then you go, oh, wait, that's their love language.

[Hannah]

That's. Yeah. Oh, they're trying to. They're trying to. That's them showing effect.

[Paige]

Because he showed me one video and you know, like, you get the point. After, like.

[Hannah]

And it like, oh, my God, that's so funny.

[Paige]

I sat there for like two minutes watching it and like, oh, you watched the full. Yeah. I was like, okay, that was a one off. He really is passionate about this video. And like, 10 seconds later, he's like, oh, watch this. And I was like, oh, this is.

[Hannah]

This is a thing.

[Paige]

This is a thing in the community. Chris, is this what you guys do? Yeah, I call it YouTube waterboarding. Wait, YouTube water?

[Hannah]

Like men?

[Paige]

That was the question. What are. What are men?

[Hannah]

What are men? Like, I was actually. I can't even.

[Paige]

Do you guys waterboard each other? Yeah.

[Hannah]

You guys.

[Paige]

Do you ever say, bro, I don't want to watch? Yeah. That's why I started calling it waterboarding. Because all men do is hang out and go, bro, watch this.

[Hannah]

That'll be.

[Paige]

There's something also about when I'm watching, someone's watching me watch a video, I can't enjoy the video.

[Hannah]

Me neither.

[Paige]

There's too much, you know, in the.

[Hannah]

Whole, like, men talk about, like, think about World War II or, like, talk about it, whatever. I was with a man recently, and I don't know how it came up in conversation. It was like something on tv. And I was like, is that true? Like, do you guys really, like, talk about World War II all the time? And he was like, no, we talk about gladiators. And I was like, got it, got it, got it.

[Paige]

Do you know DEZ studied history?

[Hannah]

Really?

[Paige]

And now I'm realizing it's cause he just wanted to learn about gladiators.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Yeah, they love it. They talk about how football players are the modern day gladiators. That's what I was told. And I was like, I see how you got there. No, I definitely see how you got there.

[Paige]

This is the thing men love. They do love knowing about wars, but they don't like to learn from history.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Or learn about women's bodies. Like, they'll remember every, like, 1912 war, but they can't remember where your clit is. Like, there's just like a cognitive dissonance that I've been trying to nail down.

[Hannah]

I'm talking about war. I'd like to be like, and why do you think that happened? They didn't have a good Relationship with their mother just is why I had the most page coded weekend I think I've ever. Like, if I look back on my Friday and Saturday, I'm like, that's who I am.

[Paige]

You feel aligned in your destiny.

[Hannah]

Friday I had to go to Albany because we have this, like, it's called Ford Orange Club, and it's like a. Like a social club. It's not like a country club. It's like a social club, whatever that means.

[Paige]

Sounds important.

[Hannah]

It sounds important. Like, every month they have, like, a guest speaker or whatever.

[Paige]

Ford Orange does sound like a strain of weed.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Ford Orange. It's like, we got that good Ford Orange, right?

[Paige]

Look at me pretending I smoke weed. Yeah, that Ford Orange last night was crazy, bro. I smoked it.

[Hannah]

Oh, God. I, like, I need a YouTube series where you just get high, like, and we count the minutes.

[Paige]

It literally be just me staring at my fingernails for two hours.

[Hannah]

But it'd be fun.

[Paige]

But who knows? Maybe that's our asmr. So you go to Fort Orange.

[Hannah]

So I go to Fort Orange, and I have to give. Like, I have to be, like, the guest speaker, whatever. And we're driving there. My parents are coming with me because it's like, a local whatever. I have no idea what to expect. I asked zero questions. So page coded. I was just like, yep, I'll be there. And I have. I know what I'm wearing, so, like, I don't need to know anything else, you know? I was like.

[Paige]

And that's how she deals with giggly squad shows as well.

[Hannah]

Packs my outfit, and I'm done. So I get there, and my mom's like, what are you gonna say? And I'm like, kim, Kim, that's.

[Paige]

That's not my business.

[Hannah]

Like, it's none of my business what I say up there. So I get up there, like, on the stage, and I'm just, like, looking around the room, and it's just, like, seven rows of, like, white men's pictures and, like, black and white photos, like, frames. And I was just like, they would hate this right now. They would.

[Paige]

These. They're rolling in their graves with their dad bods.

[Hannah]

I'm literally up there being like, fuck the patriarchy. Do whatever you want.

[Paige]

You start a feminist rant at this, like, old man rally. They're even too old for January 6th.

[Hannah]

We're all gigglers in the crowd. So we're just like, everyone's hyping each other up. Okay, okay, that's on Friday. That same day. Don't you know the FDA approves a new UTI drug. I'm getting it sent to me in my DMs. Like, everyone's like, oh, my God, Paige, you're going to want to see this.

[Paige]

Yeah. People are sending it to me to send to you.

[Hannah]

It was like the first drug that they've approved in like 30 years. Okay. Later that evening, I get the worst UTI I've ever gotten in my entire life.

[Paige]

But this happens to you every week.

[Hannah]

No, I really haven't gotten one.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

I've lied sometimes.

[Paige]

Remember when you had to miss the podcast last week?

[Hannah]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I get the craziest raging uti. I like, have extra pills, whatever. I wake up Saturday morning, I tell a health it up. I'm like, hey, I get a new prescription. Saturday night I go with my brother and his girlfriend to the Tom Segura stand up show. Chris De Stefano killed.

[Paige]

Shout Out.

[Hannah]

Chrissy D. It was so much. I love. It was at msg. It was just so fun. I was home, I was in bed by 10, I was asleep by 11. Oh, it was just gorgeous.

[Paige]

I have a question. Yeah. Does being single correlate with less UTIs?

[Hannah]

Okay, well, you'd think because I'm Friday night, like, obviously I'm single still. I'm 32 years old. But like I was home. So like when I step into Albany and I step onto my parents street, I'm 16.

[Paige]

100%, I'm 16.

[Hannah]

I have to ask to leave the house. Like I could never just leave my house. Like that would be.

[Paige]

Get permission.

[Hannah]

Insane.

[Paige]

Ask when they want you home.

[Hannah]

So it's like Friday night, sneak in.

[Paige]

Sneak in a weed pen, 10 o'clock.

[Hannah]

And I'm like, it burns a little and my mom can hear me. And here's the other thing. I'm in the bathroom in my room for like a while.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

But my bathroom is above her bedroom. So she knows when I'm in the bathroom.

[Paige]

She knows when you have a tummy ache.

[Hannah]

So if I'm in there too long, she's like, what's she doing in there?

[Paige]

Wait, that is so.

[Hannah]

What is she doing in there?

[Paige]

Funny. You guys have an unhealthy relationship.

[Hannah]

Very.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So she comes up, I hear coming up the stairs, what's going on? Are you okay? And like, I immediately turn 16 and I'm like, I think I might have a UTI, but I promise I actually didn't even have sex. And she just looks at me and she goes, okay. She was like, well, you don't always have to have sex to Get a uti, you whore.

[Paige]

I was like, yeah, I just was giving blowjobs. I wasn't letting him go in.

[Hannah]

I just didn't want, like, racking my brain because I'm like, how did I get one without having sex?

[Paige]

You sat on an MSG chair with, like, mostly men in that stadium.

[Hannah]

I don't know. And then I was like, well, did I use a new soap? Like, have I? And I was like, you know what? I think my immune system's just down. Like I'm coming up with like all these things. But anyway, you were.

[Paige]

You actually weren't late, but you messaged me that you might be late cuz Kitty was making biscuits on your face. And I realized if you have a cat and your cat's making biscuits on your face, Google making biscuits. If you don't know. I honestly don't have the time to explain it. It's dermaplaning.

[Hannah]

No, it's literally lymphatic.

[Paige]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Hannah]

I was like, yeah, de puff me.

[Paige]

I like to let the Googlers know, like, where we are in our cycles. I got my period. It woke me up yesterday morning, like violently.

[Hannah]

Okay, I'm actually so glad you brought this up because obviously I'm updating the gigglers on my egg freezing process. Did I tell them how they want me to go on birth control?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Oh, I did.

[Paige]

I think so.

[Hannah]

Okay. They want me to go on birth control for like a week and I was just like, I don't want to. So I have to wait till May to see if I get my period naturally. And if I don't get it naturally, then I'm going to just do it for the week.

[Paige]

Do you think if you just like, hang out with me enough days in a row, like my alpha energy of my period might, like, synchronize?

[Hannah]

Well, I actually think I am supposed to have my period right now because my boobs are a little bit big.

[Paige]

That's.

[Hannah]

Wait also, Chris, look away. I'm wearing the Skims nipple bra cuz I just wanted to see what it looked like.

[Paige]

Is. Was. Is that still available?

[Hannah]

Look. Oh, I want to see.

[Paige]

Poked me in the eye.

[Hannah]

Kind of obsessed. I need to get it in nude.

[Paige]

Yeah. Well, I love that for you.

[Hannah]

Thank you.

[Paige]

I love how she's like, this is the sass on my nipples. My UTI. Yeah, I PMSed so bad on like the day, two days before my period. And it was a weird PMS where like, I had no one I was mad at no one I knew of who was mad at me. Nothing that was stressing me out. But, like, the PMS is stronger than all those factors.

[Hannah]

You're enraged.

[Paige]

I was in and I was sitting there and I knew that I was losing my mind.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And I was. I was anxious about nothing.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And it was so frustrating because, like, you feel crazy. Like, I was just sitting there. Like, you just feel like you want to merge, you want to punch something, but you have no valid reason. Every day there's something that goes wrong. So normally I can put it into that, but I really had a very low drama day. So I was just sitting there fighting my own battles.

[Hannah]

No, honestly, for the past three months I've used the phrase, can I just have a day? I've texted so many of my girlfriends, they'll send me something like, did you see this? Did you see that? I'm like, can I just have it day where someone's not pissing me the fuck off.

[Paige]

Just eight hours, not even a full day. Just a work day.

[Hannah]

Just a work.

[Paige]

Just a nine to five work day. So, yeah, I was PMSing really bad. Got my period. Everyone's okay now.

[Chris]

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[Grace]

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[Hannah]

I do have one thing to bring to the forefront that I've been seeing on my TikTok.

[Paige]

Please.

[Hannah]

I keep getting, like, all these tiktoks of, like, Selena and Benny, and, like, they've been doing, like, press and, like, whatever.

[Paige]

I like their song. Sunset Boulevard. Yeah.

[Hannah]

And I like them. Have you seen his toenails?

[Paige]

No, that hasn't come across my desk.

[Hannah]

Do us a favor. Type in Benny Blanco's toenails.

[Paige]

Poor Chris. He's like, can I have a day?

[Hannah]

No. Literally, he's like, give me a day. They are amazing.

[Paige]

The art. Are we talking about the art?

[Hannah]

Yes. This man. And I can't believe I'm even saying this, because if someone said, like, oh, he paints his toenails, I'd be like, ick. No, they're literally works of art. Please Google the sushi one.

[Paige]

Wait, like, should be in the MoMA.

[Hannah]

No, like, he literally.

[Paige]

If your boyfriend started doing this.

[Hannah]

Honey, not mine.

[Paige]

Honey, not mine.

[Hannah]

Oh, honey.

[Paige]

My brand. Well, my thing is that it takes forever.

[Hannah]

Yeah. But, like, what a quirky, fun, creative thing. He's very, like, I like it for him. Not my man.

[Paige]

Can I say a hot take? Selena's been through a lot.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And a lot of time when people have a traumatic, like, relationship in the public eye. The next relationship, they decide to keep it private.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

They're not.

[Hannah]

No.

[Paige]

Do you think that she's just like, this is my life. I might as well monetize it?

[Hannah]

What a great, deep question, Hannah. I'm going to tell you what I really feel from the bottom of my soul. I think she feels so protected by.

[Paige]

Him that she wants to show it off.

[Hannah]

There's nothing that could anyone on the outside world could say or do about their relationship that would throw them off. This. This is a perfect example. And people will always say, like, Paige, then, like, you shouldn't say that. He should. I didn't say it yet. I didn't say it yet because I'm getting to it. Like, I'm always like, the guy should love the girl more.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

100%. Like, full stop. I don't care what your reasoning is, that it should be equal. It shouldn't. This is a perfect example. He loves her so much more. You can just tell. And that's how it should be. And that's why they're.

[Paige]

I also was going to argue they're perfect. Chris, are you trying to show us more toes.

[Hannah]

I mean, is that not the craziest thing you've ever seen?

[Paige]

Yeah, I mean, he's a creative. No, also he, he shaved his toes for that one. I wonder if that was part of the like, aesthetic. Yeah, I love that. Okay, you can put it away, Chris. Thank you. Chris is. Love it. Okay. Chris is gonna stay here for the episode. I love that I found out Benny Blanco's written every single song ever.

[Hannah]

No, literally, like ever, ever.

[Paige]

And I love hearing musicians talk about writing songs because they're like, yeah, I did like a 1, 2 beat. Yeah. And then I. I said California girls.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And then like, it's just a debate.

[Hannah]

They have a different part of their brain.

[Paige]

But he is so successful and hasn't been in the room with every famous artist, so he can like handle her fame. Sometimes I feel like maybe she would want to protect who she's dating from all the shit that she gets. I mean, he's been called a, literally a sewer troll for the last like two or year or whatever they've been dating. But I guess you're right. Like they're used to the public eye in a way.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

He has the zaniness where he could like handle it.

[Hannah]

I just love a man who's self aware enough to be like, my job is to make her less life easier.

[Paige]

Yeah. Oh yeah.

[Hannah]

The day I meet someone that's like, I just want to make your life easier.

[Paige]

Yeah. I'm like, I'm nervous about it just because I'm like protective of them and I feel like they're giving too much.

[Hannah]

They've done a couple morning shows. They're gonna be fine.

[Paige]

Yeah. Justin and Haley, like, it's still this thing where like everyone compares and all this stuff. So the more you give, the more people.

[Hannah]

I couldn't imagine that. I mean, dealing with it for. They've been dealing. I've been literally deal with a breakup for like three months and I want to shoot myself in the eye.

[Paige]

No, I know.

[Hannah]

And they've been dealing with this for almost 10 years.

[Paige]

Their whole life.

[Hannah]

Like that I would.

[Chris]

Right.

[Hannah]

I could never.

[Paige]

Benny is friends with Justin. Like they've written songs together. Yeah. Cuz famous people, it's like a little high school. They all like date and each other. But I love it. I love it, I love it. I would argue if you're inspired by Selena and Benny's relationship. How do I say this in a nice way? Don't settle for the ugly guy that likes you a lot because he's not Benny. Blanco, he's not as rich or successful or nice. And when you settle for an ugly guy, he's actually the one that's gonna break your heart. Rip out your heartstrings more than anyone. Cause you were like, I was doing a make a wish. You liked me first. I felt safe. And then they get confident for a second because a cute girl liked them. And then they will ruin you more than like any hot dude you've ever dated.

[Hannah]

If I had to rank all my boyfriends in my two ugliest ruined my life every.

[Paige]

It's always like Matt. A guy named Matt who you were like. I pulled you out of, like out of obscurity.

[Hannah]

Literally. Literally.

[Paige]

Literally. So I'm just saying don't like go.

[Hannah]

Totally. But let me tell you something else. The good looking ones also. Fuck yeah.

[Paige]

True. You know, I think the key is to find a good looking guy. Nope. There's no key.

[Hannah]

No, no key.

[Paige]

Nope. No key.

[Hannah]

I truly think it is. He has to be a little bit more obsessed with you than you are.

[Paige]

With him, but not too much more. Then it gets restrained.

[Hannah]

Ick. But like, he has to think about you more than you think about him.

[Paige]

I always say that he has to. He has to know first. And I don't mean he has to choose you. I just mean he has to fucking know first. And you can't have to convince him at all if you're trying to convince him. Because I would argue that no one changes.

[Hannah]

Nobody changes.

[Paige]

Well, we're just saying generic now.

[Hannah]

Do you want to know something?

[Paige]

No one changes.

[Hannah]

My grandma, rest in peace.

[Paige]

Oh my God. Rest in peace.

[Hannah]

My grandma gave me two pieces of advice and I remember them to this day. The first one, she said, if you're dating someone new, Paige, you have to experience all four seasons with them because people are different at different times of the year. And two people don't change. And I feel like I get pushback on that statement so much. Where it's like, I feel like bridesmaids. Where it's like, well, they grow. They don't. People don't change. They can give you like a representative for a certain amount of time. And I've met. I've met some amazing representatives.

[Paige]

My biggest advice with dating, because now I'm remembering what I used to be when dating is. I would like, see a guy I wanted and then I would just take in all the information of like, what he wanted. Yeah. And like respond the way I thought he wanted to respond. And like, men are kind of simple. And the next thing you know, like, I would be a representative. Yeah. And then you. You look in the mirror and you're like, who the fuck is this? And even though he likes you, you don't like who you've become.

[Hannah]

Yep.

[Paige]

And you're like, wait, I got what I wanted and I miss who I was.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So that was, like, how I dated.

[Hannah]

I feel like we dated very differently but had, like, the same problems. Like, you even saying, like, guy you wanted, and you go after them. I had a therapist tell me one time, like, of all the dating stories you tell me, never once have you picked the guy. Like, you keep letting them pick you and you don't like them. Like, why do you let them pick you?

[Paige]

I love when I see a girl, like, meet a really good looking guy and be like, I talked to him. And, like, we just didn't hit it off. Because, like, when I was younger, I was like, no, he's good looking. Like, obviously I want to be with him. I was very. I really was shallow with men. Not my outfits, not myself, but with men.

[Hannah]

You loved having, like, a good looking man who people thought was cool. Loved, like, oh, that's Hannah's boyfriend.

[Paige]

Like a handbag.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And because I thought it was.

[Hannah]

See, I loved a pet project.

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

See, I thought it was, like, feminist.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I felt like a. Like an ugly man.

[Hannah]

I liked finding them real traumatized and being like, let me help you. And then I'd be like, and this is why your mom doesn't love you.

[Paige]

I had something crazy happen to me this week.

[Hannah]

Tell.

[Paige]

There's a tennis player named Kim Cloisters, okay. Who's one of the greatest tennis players of all time, won multiple grand slams. She messaged me a while ago and was like, love your special. And I was like, kim Cl.

[Hannah]

I love you. How'd you play?

[Paige]

Elizabeth?

[Hannah]

I remember when you saw Coco golf at Vanity Fair. And you literally. I was like.

[Paige]

And she was so nice. I lost my mind.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

She was so cool. Hi, Coco. Love you. So Kim Cloisters was like, oh, my God, you play tennis. We should hit sometimes. That's like, okay, let me try to think of your world.

[Hannah]

Give me an analogy.

[Paige]

I'm gonna give you an analogy.

[Hannah]

That's like, Victoria Beckham was like, hey, do you want to get lunch?

[Paige]

That's like Victoria Beckham being like, hey, I'm gonna go shopping. Can you help me? And you didn't do anything to make her do that. Like, she literally was like, hey, Paige, I love your outfit. Can you come shopping with me?

[Hannah]

Oh, My God. No. I would cr.

[Paige]

So I'm sitting. I thought she was, like, being nice.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Didn't say anything because I'm not like that. Okay. I'm not good at talking to important people. If they want to talk to me, that's fine. But I'll get out of it pretty quick before I embarrass myself. So then, like, she commented on some. We were, like, kind of commenting a little bit, and she kept being like, when do you want to hit? And I was like, she was following.

[Hannah]

Up with the plan.

[Paige]

She was. She was just like, she's cuddling it in. Yes. So then the other week, she was like, hannah, are you in town? And I was like, you know, actually, I am like, giggly Squad tour is over. I'm. I'm in town. And she's like, do you want to hit on Friday? And I was like, that would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

[Hannah]

So where'd you go?

[Paige]

So we go to this place in, like, Hell's Kitchen. She came from New Jersey.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

Which is, like, a while. So I immediately felt pressure. I was like, she came all the way from New Jersey. I can't this up.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Mind you, my cardio is not great right now. I've been on planes. I'm trying to come up with excuses. I've. Look, I'm not.

[Hannah]

Have I told you about my walking pad? I told everyone about my walking pad. I'm gonna put it in the.

[Paige]

Instead of therapy.

[Hannah]

I'm obsessed with my walking pad. And if you think. Have you been getting the tiktoks of the girls with the splits machines?

[Paige]

Splits machine? Like, you do a split.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it's like a mach. It's like you put your legs. It looks like stirrups, like. Or it looks like the things, like when you go to the gynecologist. Like, you put your legs in them. Oh.

[Paige]

And you put them together, and then.

[Hannah]

You prank this thing. No, you crank this thing and it stretches your legs and you just sit like that.

[Paige]

So girls are just gonna tear their groins.

[Hannah]

Well, I ordered one.

[Paige]

Wait, I'm getting the ones where your body just, like, shakes. Oh, you are? So you have an exorcism.

[Hannah]

My goal is I wanna be able to do a split by July.

[Paige]

Wait, I love that you brought that up. Because I've never come close to a split.

[Hannah]

Me neither.

[Paige]

And I think the universe did that to me. Cause they knew if I could do a split.

[Hannah]

It's all you would do.

[Paige]

It's all I would do.

[Hannah]

And you'd get super annoying, top down into a split.

[Paige]

Anywhere we went, I'd be gonna split right now.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Also, I do have to say when back in my day, I was like, split on the dick rotate. Like, I was false advertising that I was. Oh, my. I was like, leg behind my head, both legs behind my head. And then I show up in this place, and I'm like, no, my stomach.

[Hannah]

Actually tried to put your leg behind your head, and it starts shaking. And you're like, that's so embarrassing.

[Paige]

I've never even gotten to the shaking part. My legs just like, no. But I think it's genetic that people can do splits.

[Hannah]

I think it's probably, like, you know.

[Paige]

People come out of the womb and they're just, like, doing split flexible. Wait, why am I jealous how flexible flexible babies are?

[Hannah]

They're so flexible.

[Paige]

Do you ever see them put their foot in their mouth? Yeah.

[Hannah]

What's the age that you, like, you're starting to lose your flexibility, and you don't even know.

[Paige]

What's the age where all your trauma starts to get stored in your hips?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So anyway, I have all my trauma stored in my hips, my lower back, and I go up to meet Kim Kleisters, and when I tell you she's cool, like, she's from Belgium, she. Some guys there recognizes her, speaking French to her. She's speaking French. She's awesome. We get on the court, and we start hitting, and it's, like, incredible. Like, I'm hitting with the woman I used to watch on tv, who's. And also, it's like, her art.

[Hannah]

Right?

[Paige]

This is her.

[Hannah]

This is a story of. It was good to meet your hero.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But you're like, what's the point of this story? Can we wrap it up? Okay. A lot of side tangents, but long story short, 10 minutes in, I was, like, really excited.

[Hannah]

What'd you wear?

[Paige]

I just wore a white polo and Lululemon leggings and Coco Gauff New Balance shoes. It wasn't a look.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

But it was, like, prime to perform.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

So 10 minutes.

[Hannah]

Some say if you look good, you play good. But not here. We don't say it here.

[Paige]

Serena Williams did say that. So I. I don't know if you've ever been, like, nervous. Plus.

[Hannah]

Sure have. Yeah, sure.

[Paige]

You're already, like, breathing.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Heavy. Plus, like, she obviously doesn't. Right. Ten minutes in, I'm like, I'm gonna croak.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like, I need an oxygen tank. So I start just, like, bringing up conversation, like, oh, quick question.

[Hannah]

Trying to, like, catch your own breath.

[Paige]

No, I can't breathe. And like, it's also because I haven't played and I went from like 0 to 100.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I keep pretending to tie my shoes. Like, I, like, took off my shoe at one point and re, I, like, took apart my shoe.

[Hannah]

Re.

[Paige]

Put my shoe together. And then we sit down and she's asking me, like, nice questions and I'm trying to talk, but I'm, I, I, I'm literally so out of breath I can't speak.

[Hannah]

How long do you play for?

[Paige]

So we ended up talking a lot because I was like, about to faint and we ended up probably total playing for like 25, 30 minutes. I felt bad, but like, you know, she wasn't there to have like the hit of her life.

[Hannah]

Right.

[Paige]

But I, I, like, I did well.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And I hadn't played in a couple months.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And I feel like newly inspired. And.

[Hannah]

And now you're friends and.

[Paige]

And I have a new best friend.

[Hannah]

Wait, so that was the point of the story. You have a new friend and you wanted to run it by me and see how I felt about it?

[Paige]

Yes.

[Hannah]

And you tried to distract me with that. You love tennis. She loves tennis. I don't really care about tennis. You even said we didn't even wear good outfits. You would have had a horrible time.

[Paige]

I did. Then afterwards, you know, when you leave. And then I was also PMSing, so I was like, I don't know if she liked me, if she went all the way from New Jersey. She has a family. She left her family.

[Hannah]

Wasted my time.

[Paige]

That was worth it. Like, I literally convinced myself it was that I wasted her time. And then the next day she texted me. And I've been married for a while.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I felt like, got what it was. You know, after a date when you're like 50, 50, and then he texts you and you go, yeah, yeah.

[Hannah]

I crash.

[Paige]

And you go from nothing to being like, am I the greatest whoever did it?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So. But now I don't know what to text her. What do you, what do I do?

[Hannah]

You're always in this predicament. How are you always get in this?

[Paige]

I think I'm shyer.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

With like text, maybe.

[Hannah]

Yeah, you are. Than you are in person.

[Paige]

It's. Cause I have a friend named Hayley who I love. Hayley. Nicola. She listens to every episode. Not Hailey Biebs. And Hailey harasses me over text.

[Hannah]

No, Hailey. Texting should be studied.

[Paige]

So I warn people. I say, Haley is the greatest human on the this Planet the Greatest.

[Hannah]

You gotta carve out at least 45 minutes if you're gonna throw her a test.

[Paige]

I go. Do not judge her by her texting habits because Haley likes to text continuously as the thoughts come to her.

[Hannah]

And she's quick. God forbid she's got quick.

[Paige]

She thinks before she texts. She starts off with, hey, you're watching her come up with it as she texts you. And if you look at your phone, it looks like corn on the cob. Just like so. Haley, I love you. So anyway, I'm working on a new friendship. I'll keep you guys posted.

[Chris]

Ever wonder what those pimple patches are that you see all over Instagram? And Tick tock, Sizza's wearing them. Hailey Bieber's wearing them. Well, they're Starface. And Starface just launched a new face wash and moisturizer. It's for breakout prone and sensitive skin, so literally perfect for me. Both products feature salicylic acid and they help unclog your pores and minimize your breakouts. Star Wash is a foamy cleanser, which is my favorite kind of cleansers. I just feel like they really get in your pores. You just like know it's working. And the Star Cream is a lightweight moisturizer that basically melts into your skin and feels like a cloud. And obviously Starface has like the cutest packaging and they're just cute, fun products. So start by washing your face with the Star Wash and then you can put a star on any spots you need and you can finish with the Star Cream. I'm going through a lot of breakouts right now, so I would literally have a galaxy on my face. You can find Star Wash and Star Cream right now at Ulta Beauty Target and Starface World. If you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table. When every customer conversation matters, you need a phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected. OpenPhone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communications. Plus, with AI powered call transcripts and summaries, you'll be able to automate follow ups, ensuring you'll never miss a customer interaction again. So whether you're one person operating, drowning in calls and text, or have a large team that needs better collaboration tools, Openphone is a no brainer. Openphone is offering our listeners 20% off your first six months at openphone.com that's O P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E.com giggly. And if you have existing numbers with another service, Openphone will port them over at no extra cost. Open phone. No missed calls, no miss customers. As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous. It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked a bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers. I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also. I mean, did you see the gifting? How freaking cute were all of those little boxes? I was obsessed with them. I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with like, honestly, with like sweatpants, jeans, capris. I just feel like they've been my go to for a little bit now. And then I added a lot of really cute heels. Honestly, I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels, which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having like all these different wedding things. But I really tried to think, like, what do you need for spring? So there's obviously a lot of, like, neutrals with heels and little kitten heels, but I'm obsessed with them. So take a [e-mail] right now. The collection is live and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them.

[Grace]

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[Paige]

I have another hot take.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

I watched the Baldwins, okay?

[Hannah]

It's literally keeps getting advertised to me on my Amazon Prime. It's like, shows you would like. Shows you would like. Shows you would like. I'm like, I, I, I can't. How is it?

[Paige]

So I have a lot of thoughts. Okay, first off, I watched the Rust, which is a documentary about what happened.

[Hannah]

Okay, with the whole like, Spanish accent thing?

[Paige]

No, with the whole Alec Baldwin murdering. Oh, the whole shooting incident.

[Hannah]

Now I sound so insensitive. I'm like, they made a documentary about her fake accent.

[Paige]

The truth is the reality series is covering him going through the trials.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

And she's also, they acknowledge like, that she gets a lot of hate for Her Spanish stuff. Like, they don't ignore it at all. Wow. Because, like, basically we're like. They're like, if you're gonna do it, you have to show us this stuff. Why are they doing this? I think it's a money thing. I think they got 10K.

[Hannah]

I mean, they got a baseball team.

[Paige]

I have to say, the first episode, I was intrigued, really. And it's because, first of all, you're watching an A Lister Baldwin. He's going through the trauma of.

[Hannah]

And I think she's gorgeous.

[Paige]

Like, she's gorgeous.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

The trauma. You're watching the trauma of him. Like, it's unfathomable. Like, how horrible what happened.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And he's clearly in, like, a really bad place, in shock. And they're in, like, a four or five bedroom apartment in New York City with seven kids. And they go through and like, describe each of the kids. Kind of like the Seven Dwarves. Like, they're like, he's dopey, he's silly. This one's.

[Hannah]

No, Seven Kids is crazy.

[Paige]

I'm obsessed. Like, I loved watching, like, Lives of the Rich and famous. Like, mother VH1. Oh, my God.

[Hannah]

Do you remember that guy's voice?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Where it was like. It was like, British, where I was like, Paris Hilchin has 7,000 water bottles. Something. And you're just like, oh, my God, she.

[Paige]

She had 40 billion crystals on her toilet.

[Hannah]

And if you think that was crazy, wait till her 21st birthday. Like, that was his voice. And I love that guy. Bring that show back.

[Paige]

Bring that show back.

[Hannah]

Where is that show?

[Paige]

Like, his estate on the mountain. No one's allowed to go unless. I love seeing, like, people's rich, crazy lives. But, like, like, this is insane. But you do see, like, their relationship is different than you think.

[Hannah]

It's actually so funny you say that. Like, obviously the Internet is built and like, influencers is built on, like, relatability in some capacity. Like, I love seeing a bitch that I relate to. But the second best thing is someone I don't relate to at all. Like, I. I'm like, that's intriguing. A woman with seven kids. Kids. I can't relate.

[Paige]

I understand why this was, like, greenlit because it's. There's so much crazy stuff. I. I don't love that the kids are on tv. Especially, like, the oldest one, who's amazing and so funny and so cute. But, like, they don't just have seven kids. They have four cats and four dogs.

[Hannah]

No.

[Paige]

So, like, there's mental illness happening. No, that's so I'm intrigued. I'm like, I need to understand what's going on.

[Hannah]

I'm locked into that.

[Paige]

And she, you know, she has a sense of humor.

[Hannah]

She has a charisma.

[Paige]

She has a charisma. So she was a yoga teacher, which, you know, yoga teachers are fucking bonkers. Crazy. But yoga teachers are like, if I'm gonna talk to someone in the room, I want to talk to the yoga teacher, because she's gonna be inspiring. She's loony, manifesting shit. So she's. She handles him because he's also. He's hilarious. Like, he randomly would just be doing funny voices. The daughter was like, 50% of the time, my dad's really funny. And then 50% of the time, he's like, in the 80s, this is what it was like. I'm like, that's literally how I talk about dez.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, that's so funny. That's how my husband is.

[Paige]

But, like, he's a. A list actor, so every now and then he's doing, like, funny voices. And you realize, like, he's just kind of this creative guy. His dad wanted him to get into, like, a real job, and he wanted to be an actor, and he's just a creative actor. She looks at him and says all these, like, inspirational things while he's, like, clearly, like, he's.

[Hannah]

Are they in love?

[Paige]

I think they're functioning.

[Hannah]

Who loves the other one more?

[Paige]

I feel like he's broken.

[Hannah]

Okay, perfect.

[Paige]

He's broken. And she.

[Hannah]

He basically was like, and she's uplifting.

[Paige]

He literally said, I had the worst home life and horrible family life, and all I wanted was to come home to a home full of children and a wife that holds me down.

[Hannah]

Damn.

[Paige]

And he's like, she keeps my life together, and she is the, like, the uplifting, positive voice that I need. And she's. He can be, like, grumpy and stuff. And she always is positive. By the way, nothing happens in the show. Like, the first episode is, like, you get the point.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Because the first episode is them in the city being like, okay, we're gonna go out to the Hamptons. Not that easy when you have seven kids and seven animals.

[Hannah]

I mean, you don't even fit in one car.

[Paige]

And they have two nannies, so they have three cars, and they have to. They have a whole chart system. And the kids are biting each other and crying, and they can't find a cat.

[Hannah]

I can't wait to make my first chart system as a mom.

[Paige]

No. So she's like. And Alec Baldwin Goes, whatever you do, I don't want the cats in the car. I love them, but I'm allergic, and to be in the car, I can't do. Of course she puts all the cats in his car. I don't know. Probably producers weren't following that 100%, but, like, it's a fascinating look into these people's lives, but they talk about how, yeah, they kind of have to hide a lot. They just, like, hide together and they have each other. But what happened on that set with Helena, the director, is so devastating because basically they didn't. Long story short, they didn't have a lot of funding. They ended up hiring a girl who, like, wasn't really qualified for the. And her job was to manage the guns. And what happened is there's not supposed to be any real rounds on set, like, at all.

[Hannah]

At all.

[Paige]

And it was randomly in a bunch of guns. Real bullets.

[Hannah]

No, that's so.

[Paige]

So, like, the fact that it didn't happen before he did it is, like, a miracle. And the day. This is really upsetting, but the day that it happened the day before, a bunch of people had quit because they felt like it wasn't safe because there had been, like, some mistakes. And they were like, we can't be on this set anymore. We don't feel like it's safe.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God.

[Paige]

And some cameramen quit, and that's why the director was standing up by the camera, because normally she would be away back. And that's why when he so. Oh, my God, I'm gonna. I'm, like, shaking, so it's insane. And he's lived a long life, and he's like, this. This is nothing like, I've ever been able to deal with.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, by far the craziest thing that's ever happened to me.

[Paige]

Fast forward. Everyone's talking about. Speaking of Hollywood, the studio. Have you watched? I have watched thoughts. People are loving it.

[Hannah]

What are they loving?

[Paige]

I don't need to be stressed out when I'm watching TV and they're calling it cringe comedy. It's not cringe. It's I'm stressed out comedy. Like, you know, it's like I tripped, then I broke my leg, then someone needs my leg, then I. I lose money, and I don't have any money. And then I'm lying in the street. I'm like, I'm stressed.

[Hannah]

It's not my type. It's not my type of.

[Paige]

Wait, so you agree with me?

[Hannah]

I agree with you.

[Paige]

Okay. I thought I was crazy because people were like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Do I think the cinematography is fantastic? Do I love every actor in it? Was Martin Scorsese. Incredible.

[Hannah]

Is Seth Rogen a genius? Yeah. A master of his time. Yes.

[Paige]

But, like, not my sense of humor.

[Hannah]

Not my sense of humor. I do like that. It is. It feels. It feels like they really did take from their lives. Like, these are real scenarios.

[Paige]

Am I going to be watching every episode? Yes. Yes.

[Hannah]

Well, there's nothing else on tv.

[Paige]

There's nothing else on TV anymore.

[Hannah]

And when Apple comes out with something, I watch it.

[Paige]

They don't fuck around.

[Hannah]

Yeah. They're quality over quantity.

[Paige]

Have you heard about the Pit?

[Hannah]

I watch it.

[Paige]

Is it about a hospital?

[Hannah]

You would hate it.

[Paige]

This is the thing. Everyone's saying it's good, but I am.

[Hannah]

I get you would dislike it. If I see blood, it's really good because it's one. The season is one day. It's one day broken up into, like, the hours of the day is each of the episodes. Did you ever watch 24?

[Paige]

I heard of it.

[Hannah]

Okay, so it's like that, where it's like one day in the hospital and it's really good because there is a really, like, realistic factor in it. Not that I've ever worked in a hospital or, like. No. But I watch Grey Anatomy, so this is actually. That's a. That's a real term they use compared to Grey's Anatomy.

[Paige]

Is it accurate?

[Hannah]

I think it's accurate. It's similar to Grey's Anatomy, but it's not as, like, romantic as, like, Grey's. And, like, like, Grey's Anatomy was a sex show. Like, that was like.

[Paige]

Would you hook up with McDreamy?

[Hannah]

Hell, yeah. What?

[Paige]

Have you ever watched Scandal?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Would you rather hook up with McDreamy or the president?

[Hannah]

McDreamy. McDreamy. McSteemy. Actually, I was more of a McSteamy gal.

[Paige]

Okay. I have to look at them all up, but, like, obviously if they're over 40.

[Hannah]

But the main doctor in the pit is so hot. Hot. Like, that's who you're like, I'm watching for him. And there's something about, like, a man in charge who, like, keeps his cool. It's just so hot.

[Paige]

Hot take. I think there's more male doctors because they don't have empathy.

[Hannah]

Wow, what an interesting take.

[Paige]

Like, women are.

[Hannah]

They're more nurturing. So, like, they'd have more, like, they. It would be too tough.

[Paige]

I don't know. I do know that the nurses that are primarily women. It's Just weird. The nurses are primarily women. And let's be honest, the nurses are doing everything. The doctor comes in and they show.

[Hannah]

Actually kind of like, there's one head nurse, and it's like she's running. Yeah.

[Paige]

And then the doctor comes in and goes, you're welcome. Walks out. Yeah. But there is a sense of, like, being a doctor is about, like, every day. You can see the most. Depends what kind of doctor you are. Obviously, sometimes you're just like, this show is traumatizing. Yeah.

[Hannah]

They're a trauma center.

[Paige]

Do you have to go home after that?

[Hannah]

And, like, I don't know how they do it.

[Paige]

And, like, talk to your wife.

[Hannah]

I don't know how anyone in the medical field legitimately did Covid, though.

[Paige]

Like, I shout out to all of them for.

[Hannah]

I'd love to know how many people after Covid in the medical field quit.

[Paige]

Well, because it was. It was irrational and insane, and they went above and beyond to, like, help the world.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But. But I also. Maybe it's kind of like me with watching murder documentaries where, like, maybe some of these people are like, whatever happens during the day reminds myself my day could have been worse. Like, maybe, like, maybe they're like, I can handle all this because then I'll be grateful that, like, I'm alive.

[Hannah]

That's how people feel watching reality tv.

[Paige]

Exactly.

[Hannah]

They're like, well, I don't got those kind of problems.

[Paige]

Oh, one more thing. I was watching Khan Mum. I think I saw Kan Mum.

[Hannah]

Advertisement.

[Paige]

It's on Netflix. Oh, my gosh.

[Hannah]

It's documentary style.

[Paige]

You guys love. I know a comment.

[Hannah]

It's like a girl or a woman that pretends to be someone's mom.

[Paige]

So I'm not. I don't want to give away who she is, but basically this, like, adorable pastry chef meets a woman who's also adorable. They fall in love, they get pregnant. She realizes he has some demons that he hasn't worked out.

[Hannah]

So if I had a nickel.

[Paige]

Perfect type. Yep. She's like, I will fix you. And he's like, I don't talk to my dad anymore. He was like, not cool. And I don't know who my mom is. And out of nowhere, he gets an email from someone being like, hey, I'm your mom. And he asks her, like, a bunch of questions, and she knows the answers to all of them about his life. And she's, like, changed her name a couple times. Wait.

[Hannah]

Spoiler alert. Just waiting for people to click off. Is it the wife?

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

But I love your thinking. You Sick buck.

[Hannah]

Okay, keep going.

[Paige]

So then he meets her and she destroys their lives. Is she. Spoiler alert. Wait.

[Hannah]

Spoiler alert. Is she. Is she Spoiler alert. Wait, why don't people use the phrase spoiler alert in more, like, everyday jargon when it has, you're not gonna spoil anything. But, like, anytime I'm gonna say Tina, I'm gonna be like, spoiler alert. She's a.

[Paige]

You go, how's your day? Spoiler alert. Not good. Wait, why do I want to call my next petro? Spoiler alert. Wait.

[Hannah]

I kind of love it.

[Paige]

I know.

[Hannah]

Wait. Okay. But true. I have a question. Question. So, spoiler alert. Is she his real mom?

[Paige]

Spoiler alert.

[Hannah]

No way.

[Paige]

But that's like a real spoiler alert.

[Hannah]

The other spoiler alerts are like, those are fake.

[Paige]

That was real.

[Hannah]

Wait, that's great. Okay, I'm gonna watch that tonight then. Cause I clicked it and I was like, I don't know about it.

[Paige]

Grace, can you bleep out my answer? Because I don't. I feel like I'll ruin it for people. Okay.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God.

[Paige]

Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. But, like, conning and lying, it is crazy how you watch people who are very intelligent, very smart, for whatever reason get literally groomed. Final thought. It's about to be April.

[Hannah]

Time flies when you're having fun.

[Paige]

We're about to go on a book press run.

[Hannah]

Yeah, we are.

[Paige]

And we're so excited. We have to get a lot of outfits.

[Hannah]

No.

[Paige]

How are you doing? We're not doing good.

[Hannah]

I'm not doing good.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

I'm not doing good.

[Paige]

Spoiler alert.

[Hannah]

Spoiler alert.

[Paige]

Not doing good.

[Hannah]

Not great over here. I have, like, one outfit. We're doing Drew Barrymore tomorrow, which I'm very excited for.

[Paige]

And we're sitting on the couch at Fallon.

[Hannah]

Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna pop over to Jimmy Fallon quick.

[Paige]

We're gonna say hi to Jim's St.

[Hannah]

Rose alumni with Jimmy Fallon. I just love it so much. There's something about late night talk shows that are, like, very exciting to me. And what I'm most nervous about is anyone, like, a celebrity that I love. Like, if they're on Jimmy Fallon. I will watch their interview on Jimmy Fallon. He's my favorite of all the late night hosts.

[Paige]

What's significant about this is, like, this is Hollywood shit. Like, this is a late night. Sitting down.

[Hannah]

No, I'm crying.

[Paige]

And it's important because back then, there were so many gatekeepers that would prevent two girls who are funny from making it to the couch at Jimmy Fallon. And it's because of you guys.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And because of TikTok and because of podcasting that we're able to, like, do this thing.

[Hannah]

Haters will say it's Photoshopped, but it's not.

[Paige]

Wait, remember when people used to say that all the time?

[Hannah]

The thing that scares me.

[Paige]

Also, there might be some Photoshop.

[Hannah]

No, I'm definitely gonna, like, Photoshop my face. The thing that scares me, though, is, like, when you go on Jimmy Found, you have to have a story that, like, you.

[Paige]

We can't focus on one story. Literally two seconds in, I'll be like.

[Hannah]

What is our story?

[Paige]

I'm gonna start a sidetrack. You're gonna be like, hannah, I'm gonna say, spoiler alert. There's a pre interview. They call you and they, like, vet your stories and tell you which one they think is gonna be best. But, like, we have to think of a story. Wait, we have to make up a story.

[Hannah]

Every once in a while, like, someone will comment something mean on my Instagram and they'll absolutely eat.

[Paige]

But, like, I'll be like, f now. Then you're like, that's not funny.

[Hannah]

I'll, like, screenshot it and send it to my brother. Like, they nailed me that one. But someone wrote something mean on my Instagram, and they're like, I forget how this girl even started it. She was something like, she went to an obscure college and she went to an obscure college and, like, it closed. So, like, she's an idiot or something. Something like that.

[Paige]

Where's the lie?

[Hannah]

Where's the lie? But also, I feel like if we need a fallback, me and Jimmy Fallon went to the same college. So it's like. Well, you use that is now that.

[Paige]

It got canceled, right?

[Hannah]

And like, that's funny. That's apparently hilarious.

[Paige]

No, it's gonna be great.

[Hannah]

We're gonna be fine. I'm definitely gonna take a beta blocker.

[Paige]

And you. You don't know what you're gonna wear yet. Are you kind of.

[Hannah]

No, I don't know.

[Paige]

Because that's the one where you need to have, like, a look. Like, I need lewk.

[Hannah]

The only thing I know for my look for Jimmy Fallon, and I don't know why, but it's just, like, something I'm feeling.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I want my decolletage out.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I think I might want to do something like, like, Cold shoulder. Off the shoulder.

[Paige]

Love. Love.

[Hannah]

Something with, like, maybe, like, something.

[Paige]

It's very, like, cocktail evening. Yes.

[Hannah]

I want to go, like, 2016 vibes. Oh, I'm always trying to go back to 2016.

[Paige]

Yeah, you always. I feel like you go, is it 2016 right now?

[Hannah]

No, like the fall of 2015.

[Paige]

Was that when you first graduated college and you were, like, going out in New York City for the first time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when you were, like, different. The world is my oyster.

[Hannah]

I was like a husband. I'll find one in two seconds. Spoiler alert. I didn't. We'd love to end the show. The callback.

[Paige]

Let's go to bookend. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling. And if you haven't preordered a book, do it because it's gonna arrive in two weeks. It's happening. It's happening, it's happening. Spoiler alert. Bye.

[Hannah]

Bye.

[Grace]

Wait, what is that sound? What are you chewing on? My socks? The furniture. Not my new sneakers again.

[Hannah]

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[Grace]

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