Giggling about crossroads, machetes, and tinned fish

Summary

Giggly Squad Episode Summary: "Giggling about Crossroads, Machetes, and Tinned Fish"

Release Date: April 30, 2025

In this lively and humorous episode of Giggly Squad, hosts Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo delve into a variety of topics ranging from their personal growth and professional endeavors to quirky anecdotes about their experiences in New York and Los Angeles. True to the show's spirit, the duo balances entertaining banter with insightful reflections, all while keeping the atmosphere light and engaging for their listeners.

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1. Navigating Success and Public Perception

Hannah and Paige discuss the unexpected milestones they've achieved, including appearing on major talk shows and making it onto the New York Times Best Sellers list. They express a mix of astonishment and humility about their rapid rise in popularity.

• Paige DeSorbo shares her surprise, saying, "Sometimes I want to shake these people and be like, do you even know what we joke about?" ([04:20]).

• Hannah Berner adds, "We wrote the book to make the Gigglers laugh, and then we forget that, like, Gigglers have become it's become bigger than us." ([65:53]).

This segment highlights their struggle to balance personal authenticity with the external expectations that come with success.

2. Attempting Acting and Overcoming Challenges

Hannah reminisces about her brief stint attempting to break into acting. She recounts an audition experience where she struggled with memorization and ultimately decided to call her manager, realizing that acting might not be her forte.

• Hannah Berner reflects, "I can't do the audition... I have trouble with memorization. So then I started to get in my head and I'm like, this is my struggle." ([05:38]).

This candid admission underscores the challenges of stepping outside one's comfort zone and the importance of recognizing personal limits.

3. The Dynamics of Their Friendship and Collaboration

The episode delves into the unique friendship between Hannah and Paige, emphasizing how their personal bond seamlessly translates into their professional collaboration.

• Paige DeSorbo muses, "We know each other so well that we've only ever been conscious that we're doing anything together." ([07:07]).

• Hannah Berner adds humorously, "We've only ever been conscious that we're doing anything together." ([07:28]).

Their chemistry is evident as they playfully navigate the blurred lines between friendship and work, showcasing a partnership built on mutual understanding and shared humor.

4. Embracing and Critiquing Pop Culture

Hannah and Paige engage in a spirited discussion about various pop culture phenomena, including influences from television shows like "Crossroads" and public figures such as Amy Poehler and Chelsea Handler.

• Paige DeSorbo shares her admiration for Amy Poehler, stating, "Both interactions were, like, better than you could have ever hoped for." ([16:06]).

• They also touch upon Hannah's experience at a book event, humorously critiquing their avant-garde outfits and interactions with other attendees.

This segment underscores their ability to intertwine personal experiences with broader cultural commentary, all delivered with their signature wit.

5. Book Tour Adventures and Public Interactions

A significant portion of the episode recounts their adventures during the book tour, highlighting both amusing and awkward encounters.

• Hannah Berner narrates her experience at a dinner event while still sporting a freshly applied spray tan, leading to humorous interactions: "I walk in and every single person that I talked to, I had to be like, this is a spray tan, by the way." ([40:07]).

• Paige DeSorbo echoes the sentiment, adding, "They were so taken. It was as if they were going to take our rights right away." ([60:01]).

These anecdotes provide listeners with an inside look at the often unpredictable nature of public engagements and the duo's ability to find humor in unexpected situations.

6. Launching New Projects and Future Plans

Hannah and Paige reveal exciting plans for upcoming projects, including a new YouTube series titled "Hannah and Paige Try New Things." They express enthusiasm about expanding their content and engaging with their audience in fresh ways.

• Hannah Berner announces, "We should officially announce that our YouTube series, Hannah and Paige Try New Things, where we force ourselves to try new things in a different city each week." ([66:28]).

• They also discuss their preparation for events like the Met Gala, showcasing their commitment to evolving their brand and content.

7. Reflections on Personal Preferences and Relationships

The hosts delve into personal topics such as hair preferences, relationships, and societal expectations.

• Paige DeSorbo shares a childhood story influencing her preference for blondes: "Every guy I've ever dated, I feel like immediately dates a blonde after. And I'm like, oh, you didn't." ([20:07]).

• They humorously debate the merits of names like "Bobby" versus "Billy," revealing their playful dynamics and personal boundaries.

8. Engaging with Their Audience and Future Directions

Towards the end of the episode, Hannah and Paige express gratitude towards their listeners, affectionately referred to as "Gigglers," and discuss the impact of their work on their audience.

• Hannah Berner states, "We just love the Gigglers so much. It's crazy." ([65:53]).

• They tease upcoming content and invite listeners to stay tuned for future episodes and projects, ensuring continued engagement and community building.

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Notable Quotes:

• "Our humor is for toddlers, actually." – Hannah Berner, [03:26]

• "We are the Anna Delvey of podcast." – Paige DeSorbo, [04:29]

• "We are giving class president energy for the class." – Hannah Berner, [09:13]

• "We are holding onto a secret from the Gigglers, and we never do that." – Hannah Berner, [09:48]

• "We are one good article away from blowing it all up." – Paige DeSorbo, [10:33]

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Conclusion

In "Giggling about Crossroads, Machetes, and Tinned Fish," Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo encapsulate the essence of Giggly Squad by blending humor with genuine conversations about their journey, relationships, and the evolving landscape of their careers. Their candid storytelling and infectious laughter create an engaging narrative that not only entertains but also offers listeners a heartfelt glimpse into their lives. Whether navigating the highs of success or the lows of awkward public encounters, Hannah and Paige demonstrate resilience and camaraderie, reinforcing why Giggly Squad continues to resonate with their ever-growing audience.

Transcript

[Hannah Berner]

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[Paige DeSorbo]

As you guys know, I partnered with DSW to curate the cutest spring shoe collection. Just fabulous. It's just so freaking adorable. Okay, so I picked bunch of flats, a bunch of fun heels, and a bunch of sneakers. I tried to do an equal amount because I know that there are a lot of Hannah's and I know that there are a lot of pages also. I mean, did you see the gifting? How freaking cute were all of those little boxes? I was obsessed with them. I loved the gold flats because I just feel like I've been wearing flats so much with, like, honestly, with, like, sweatpants, jeans, capris. I just feel like they've been my go to for a little bit now. And then I added a lot of really cute heels.

Honest.

Honestly, I didn't even realize that I added a lot of white heels, which I think is perfect because I feel like there's always girls getting married and having, like, all these different wedding things. But I really tried to think, like, what do you need for spring? So there's obviously a lot of, like, neutrals with heels and little kitten heels, but I'm obsessed with them. So take a [e-mail] right now. The collection is live, and I'm sure I'll be reposting everyone wearing them.

[Hannah Berner]

Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix your wi Fi. Manifest that he can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up, my Giggly Wigglies? You know what that is? You know what a giggly Wiggly is?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like a Piggly Wiggly.

[Hannah Berner]

It could be. And I'm open to your interpretations.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, okay. This is. Oh, sorry. I'm so sorry. This is something you, in fact, made up. Got it. Okay, okay. Keep it moving.

[Hannah Berner]

When we get older and if we have kids and. Wait. Sorry, I'm choking on my coconut drink. I'm in la. Hold on one sec.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I was Just gonna say it's been five. The fucking. How quick. How long is it gonna take for Hannah to bring up that she's in la? She's like, sorry, I've been doing a juice cleanse and I'm just washing it down with some coconut water. We're over here drinking cyanide in New.

[Hannah Berner]

York and going, perfect, thank you. I'll have some more. This giggly piggly thing. So stupid. But it's our version of the Squiggles. When we're older and we're on tour, we're just gonna be giggly wigglies for the little gigglers to watch us perform.

[Paige DeSorbo]

We. We need to start performing when we have children, to start performing in venues that have, like, a separate room so moms can bring their kids and, like, put them in daycare while they. While we perform.

[Hannah Berner]

I realized that our humor is for toddlers, actually. And Lois is so excited to watch our docu series. She's gonna watch every episode. She also, my mom was visiting and she was like, let's play Giggly Squad. And my mom was like, okay. And she goes, you're Hannah, I'm Paige.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wait, wait.

[Hannah Berner]

So she made my world.

[Paige DeSorbo]

There's a little girl out there playing Giggly Squad.

[Hannah Berner]

We're not okay as a nation.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay? You saying that, like, our humor is for four year olds. That's why, like, okay, we're going on morning shows, we're going on Jimmy Fallon, we made New York Times best selling authors list. Like, we're doing all these things and.

[Hannah Berner]

So we're doing a little too much. Some would say.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Sometimes I want to shake these people and be like, do you even know what we joke about?

[Hannah Berner]

You're saying they don't know who we are?

[Paige DeSorbo]

No. Like, I felt like I've scammed. We are the Anna Delvey of podcast.

[Hannah Berner]

The best is when someone asks. We wrote the book like a year ago. When someone asks you about a part of the book and you're like, I don't remember that chapter. And I'm sitting there and I go, that's crazy. Neither do I. I thought you had that.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Someone asked me a question, and in my head I was like, I don't know what she's asking me. So I just changed the question with my answer and I was like, yeah, how do you like that for media trained?

[Hannah Berner]

You are. You're such a good politician. Back to me in la, you guys, when I tell you I'm a monster in la, I had an audition, right? They said I have to memorize five pages of script. I said. I said, yes. I sat in my room for seven hours, and it's hard when you're alone. Also, my brain was not processing any of it. Call my manager. I said, hey, it's not good over here. Yeah, can't do the audition.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wait. I feel like you gave, like, your. Wait, so you. You didn't do it? No, Hannah, I was just gonna give you a compliment, too. I was like, I feel like you give off. You're a good studier.

[Hannah Berner]

I am, but I need ample time. And they gave me one day, and me alone in my room with so many distractions and then a script.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, the bed's right there. It's like, what?

[Hannah Berner]

I was in the bed the whole time. Every time I would repeat a line, I'd be like, well, now I have to go check something to test myself. I actually have trouble with memorization. So then I started to get in my head and I'm like, this is my struggle. But this is the thing. There was a self tape option where you don't have to go in a room and have it fully memorized.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Who's ever picking the not self tape option?

[Hannah Berner]

Look, people have told me I'm better in the room, okay? That's what they say in this town.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They're like, I guess you kind of had to be there if that. If that was a person, it's you.

[Hannah Berner]

If you just watch me online, you're not going to get the full. Full charm.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's kind of niche, actually. You kind of have to be, like, surrounded by her and not be able to leave to really get her humor.

[Hannah Berner]

But I'm kind of proud of myself because I never quit anything. And I feel like it was super empowering that I was like, I can't do it. And I don't think I've ever done that before.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, you notoriously, you'll make it work. Sometimes being. It's funny. Okay? We get asked the question a lot, like, how do. How are you best friends? But you, like, also work together? And, like, we never know how to answer that because, like, have we ever worked together?

[Hannah Berner]

We've only ever been conscious that we're doing anything together.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like, we've never been conscious. Like, oh, this is a work meeting we're having. Because when we see each other on the screen, we're like, this is a bit.

[Hannah Berner]

I went to your hotel room to work on something, and we talked for four hours about other things. And then you ordered room service for a family of eight. And I got judged for it because I opened the door.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You loved the rice pilaf. You loved the rice.

[Hannah Berner]

Incredible. I love rice. People don't talk about enough. When I want 4 million of something, I order rice.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I forget what my original point was.

[Hannah Berner]

You were saying that I never quit or you weren't.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, someone somewhere could have been.

[Hannah Berner]

Saying that I was, like, having boundaries with myself, and I. And you know how bad I have to be for me to think I'm going to do a bad job? Because most of the time, I'm delusional. And I'm like, yeah, I got this call my manager.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, wait.

That's what I was going to say. Being on, like, work texts with you. Like, I. We know each other. So, like, we know when the other one's like, oh, yeah, totally. Like, this is, like, my work voice. Like, I feel like you're like, yeah, absolutely. We can do it on that day. And I'm like, I don't know if we actually physically can, but, like, she's. She's a pleasure to work with.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, my God. Thank you.

[Paige DeSorbo]

As a child, if you got, like, she talks a lot during class, obviously, I got that on the report card. You now, as an adult, get. You're a pleasure to work with.

[Hannah Berner]

Interesting.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Let's normalize that pipeline.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, you know what it is? I think the people who were talking too much in class, they wanted to be leaders. They were like, I'm not a follower. I'm not waiting for the teacher to start a topic. I'm bringing up a topic to my friend right now.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They give class president energy.

[Hannah Berner]

They give class president energy.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Hannah said to me the other day, she brought up this phrase, class president energy. And ever since that moment in time, I have not been able to get it out of my brain.

[Hannah Berner]

I think Giggly Squad is giving. We are president, vice president, giggly energy for the class.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like, if the two of us, like, we are the class of 2020. I feel like Giggly Squad is the class of 2020. We are. Now that it's 2025, we're like. We're only.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, we just graduated. It's basically 2021. But also, okay, not to. Not to brag, but we are giving. We are keeping the Gigglers fed. Their bellies are full, and I could not get enough of it. We are like, we. We've been holding onto a secret from the Gigglers, and we never do that.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Honestly, I rarely say this to people who aren't me, but, like, we've seen too much of us. Like, it's too much I go on my Instagram, I'm like, it's too much.

[Hannah Berner]

Are we oversaturated? What is it called? Overexposed.

[Paige DeSorbo]

We are. We are one good article away from blowing it all up.

[Hannah Berner]

True. We're one quote.

[Paige DeSorbo]

But I'm so excited to disappear for a while. No, no, no. I'm so excited for our web show. What am I, a thousand web years old? Well, we should tune into the web series we're putting out. I don't know. That's like my old man voice. I've never done it. I've never heard it. You'll never hear it again.

[Hannah Berner]

But I love him. His name is Frank Braun. No, he's a syllable.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm glad that we were aligned that it's. He's a one syllable man.

[Hannah Berner]

We knew he was a simple man. He's a man of few words. So in the beginning of Tor, we're like, if we're gonna be doing this, we have to create some content.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

And I said, what if we forced ourselves to do something in 10 cities and we did it? Like, we committed to it and we hid it from the gigglers. We were so sneaky with it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It was so much fun, though. Like, here's why I loved doing it. It's so. I hate using this word, but I feel like it's just, like, used so much. It's so raw.

[Hannah Berner]

No, it's so raw. Especially because people, a lot of people discovered us on reality tv, which is quaffed is the word.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'll say it's giggly squad if we didn't have microphones. So it's just our typical banter back and forth. But, like, being placed in situations.

[Hannah Berner]

You're literal flying the wall of us being placed somewhere and full survival mode. Like, we weren't thriving by any means.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, we weren't. We didn't, like, accomplish things, but, like, we.

[Hannah Berner]

We survived. We tried. And there were so many times where I'm like, I don't think we can do this. And we did it. I have to say, I watched the trailer like 50 times.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, I should. A thousand times.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm obsessed.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm like, iconic. Never been done before. I'm like, I don't know how YouTube works, but surely there's an award we'll.

[Hannah Berner]

Get for two minute trailer. Also, we want to give credit where credit is due because everyone's like, give Grace a raise. Does Grace need a raise? Yes. Do we actually. Should Grace be paid more than both of us together? Yes. Grace was our head tour manager, traveled with Us everywhere, made sure we were everywhere we had to be. We hired Hobson, who's a new character in the story.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, truly, I feel like we're just, like, introducing new character arcs.

[Hannah Berner]

So Hobson came in as our cunty videographer.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That was a big word.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, that was a lot of syllables. I wasn't prepared for that. I quit halfway through the word. So she just, like, rolls in and, like, has her camera on. Occasionally, she'd ask us questions, and then she edited the frick out of it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, she did such a good job editing. Here's, like, something people don't talk about until, like, you're putting, like, a show together like that. The music, it changes the whole vibe.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, initially, you know, I told her, I said, I want hip hop, I want vibes, I want pussy popping. Like, slightly misogynistic.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You say that to her?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, I said, I want hip hop. But then she gave me the, like, that simple piano, which is definitely, like, the office vibe. And I said, this is so much funnier.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So much funnier.

[Hannah Berner]

Because I can't always be in, you know, swag surfing mode.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, I'm certainly not. See, I would say 90% of the time, I'm not in swag surfing mode. But that 10%. You gotta catch me at that 10%, though.

[Hannah Berner]

But the piano makes it so funny. And I'm locked in. I can't wait to watch. And you guys, these episodes, I'm gonna drop it. They're up to 20 minutes. This is as long as a TV show with commercials.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So interesting is because I've always wanted to be, like, an aesthetic Sunday afternoon.

[Hannah Berner]

Vlog girl, which you still can be. Nothing stopped you. Nothing's been in your way.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's the same way I feel about my grid. I'm like, I've always want my grid to be so perfect, and I always want to make these, like, clean girl videos, but it's truly not who I am.

[Hannah Berner]

I know. And I know why you hate me. Because I am the arch nemesis to your grid.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You are literally sucking.

[Hannah Berner]

Your day's going well. I'm like, hey, can you collaborate on this?

[Paige DeSorbo]

And you're like, hey, why don't you collab on this and fuck a thumbnail? You know, like, never thought of a thumbnail in your life.

[Hannah Berner]

What is that, TikTok? And suddenly I hear a scratchy voice. What is that out of nowhere? No, I just want you to share. Like, for example, we went on Amy Poehler's pod. Can we shout out to the queen to the goat? I mean, to our everything.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's just like. It doesn't make any sense.

[Hannah Berner]

We found out through the grapevine that Amy Poehler listened to Giggly Squad. We retired, then came back into the public eye and said, okay, we have to figure out how to deal with this.

[Paige DeSorbo]

We're ready to work.

[Hannah Berner]

Ready to work. How would you describe the experience of going on Amy's pod?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I just, like, it's so. It's interesting because in the same, like, month, I literally got to meet Amy Poehler for the first time and Chelsea Handler.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I could not have had better experiences. And, like, those are two experiences that you're like, wow, if this doesn't go the way I have planned in my head, like, my whole childhood. And, like, growing up was a lie, and, like, I don't know if I'll recover from that.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And the fact that both interactions were, like, better than you could have ever hoped for, and they were just, like, the most normal, real, like, I felt.

[Hannah Berner]

Scene not to be so LA right now. I feel like I'm even talking differently on this pod today. But I. When you meet people in this town, if they suck, they're, like, part of what you consume dayto day. So, like, they ruin whole TV shows. Like, there's something about.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Correct.

[Hannah Berner]

And sometimes they don't even suck, but they're just different than what you thought. And then you can't watch them the same way because you're like, he farted in my face and walked away. Like, I can't take him seriously as a superhero. Like, that's an example. Nothing like that happened.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like, a really niche, but, like, iconic example. But, like, something that, like, should be in a TV show like, that market. Chris Hemsworth literally ripped ass in front of me and then turned around or.

[Hannah Berner]

The dog and walked away.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I was like, but, sir, you're Thor.

[Hannah Berner]

Thor doesn't fart. It's part of the script. Did. Did Chelsea and Amy change your opinion of blondes?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yes. No. Okay. Do you want to hear something so funny? Because this is, like. This is a story from my childhood that is, like, deep rooted in my thing for blondes. First of all, side note, actually, there's two stories, but whatever, we're gonna make them concise. One story. When I was, like, modeling, and if I didn't get, like, a certain job or something, and if I were to ever ask my mom, like, hey, did I, like, book that commercial? Or did I book whatever? And she would say, no, they went with a blonde. In my head, it would register as, like, oh, well, I'm not blonde, so, like, I didn't even compete against that girl. But it went back even further. When I was younger, my dad owned a car wash. And one day me and my mom went to this car wash, and he had, like, candy, like, on the side of the car wash, and he would, like, give it to little kids. And one day I saw my dad talking to this little girl.

[Hannah Berner]

Was there a van involved?

[Paige DeSorbo]

She was with her mom. She was with her mom. And my dad's, like, talking to this little girl. And I guess, like, I had just never seen my dad interact with a child other than, like, myself. So I was, as you can imagine, taken aback. And I was like, who is that girl? And I couldn't explain to my mom, like, what I was saying because I didn't know the word for blonde. So I'd be like, who is this little girl? Like, with this, like, I was like, mom. She has a mom. Why are we not fighting these two?

[Hannah Berner]

You fight her mom.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Get your own dad. Like, and it truly traumatized me. Like, I don't know if I thought, like, my dad was gonna go with, like, this little girl and, like, be her dad or what. Like, I cooked up in my head. But, like, it's deep rooted. My thing with blondes, my favorite is.

[Hannah Berner]

When we meet gigglers and they're blonde, and they go, paige, don't worry, we're really brunettes.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, I know. The giggles are really funny about it. Also, like, I'm not kidding. Every guy I've ever dated, I feel like immediately dates a blonde after. And I'm like, oh, you didn't. You didn't get me at all. Like, solidified.

[Hannah Berner]

That's like our number one. Like, you don't do that.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, I kind of like it because I'm like, oh, yeah, we did. We weren't for each other.

We didn't mesh.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, a hundred percent. Because you've never once been seen with a blonde man. Not even accidentally. Accidentally. You haven't accidentally slipped on a blonde dick ever? And you slip all the time.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I've never. I've literally never.

[Hannah Berner]

Such a bad segue. Well, meanwhile, I love blondes. I love the blue eyes. I love us. I love silver.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Some would say, wait, we didn't talk about how we met. Literally. The girl version of Daphne at in la. Remember we were doing the book signing. That girl was like, my name is Daphne, but she, like, also looked like Daphne.

[Hannah Berner]

She was Daphne. And she had, like, big blue eyes and like, the.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And she was gorgeous.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, the cheekbones could slice an orange.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And she had like long luxurious blonde hair. And I was like, wait, you are my cat.

[Hannah Berner]

You're my cat. You sent me a photo of Daphne looking in the mirror at you and it was the most page coded photo.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, when Daphne goes up to the mirror and just sits in front of it and looks at herself and then looks back at me like, I'm just like, yeah, look at you.

[Hannah Berner]

You're going like.

[Paige DeSorbo]

She looks back for my approval and I'm like, that's my daughter.

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[Hannah Berner]

Shout out to Kim and Lenore if you don't know Kim and Lenore. Our mothers were asked to open Amy Poehler's pod and ask questions. I don't. I think my mom was like, joking and Amy Poehler was like, what's your question for Hannah? And she goes, are you pregnant? I was like, what?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, sorry. God forbid your mom runs a bit on a comedy pod.

[Hannah Berner]

God forbid. I bloated this week, mom. But it's. I think she said that because I joke that no one ever asks. That was the joke. But I'm like. But then I'm like, oh my God, everyone's gonna pick it up and like, Dumas is gonna be like, hannah's pregnant. No one's okay. No one said anything.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Everyone else was like, look at Hannah's mom running a bit.

[Hannah Berner]

The universe is like, please don't have a baby. Please don't have a baby.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No. And of course my mom got like, so spiritual and like existential and was just like, I just want to know if she's happy.

[Hannah Berner]

But also Kim is like, you are. We're so similar to our moms. Like, Kim is shy, but I feel like Lenore empowered Kim. And Kim was like so good on the pod because Kim could have clammed up like you have.

[Paige DeSorbo]

She would have never been able, like, want been able to do it if your mom wasn't doing it at the same time. Like, that was one of the things she was like nervous about. Like, she was like, do you think we're going at the same time?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, no, I think they are Giggly Squad.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, they are. They should have a recap show. They're the new Watch what crappin. And they just say what we say in like voices and make fun of us.

[Hannah Berner]

I love that. I love that. So because it's nice out in la, I've been walking and I also. Cuz I canceled every job I had. I'm.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I was just gonna say, maybe because you are unemployed.

[Hannah Berner]

Unemployed, Nothing to do.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You're like, you thought you were a nepo baby. I told you I was gonna say, what. What have you been doing out in la? Like, have you been doing really LA things? Have you gone back to our Pilates place? Like, what's going on?

[Hannah Berner]

So I went to Pilates this morning. Katie Courier was not there, but I did Pilates and then I walked around. I do have to say I also was walking around when I was in New York, though, because, you know, the second it hits 60 degrees, New Yorkers go fucking feral.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, everyone, like, has a drug. Drug problem. Like, they've quit their jobs.

[Hannah Berner]

If you don't get it, men are.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Running around the streets with no shirts.

[Hannah Berner]

In five seconds, your, like, head explodes. New Yorkers are not okay.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You literally get evicted from your apartment if you don't go outside. Go outside. Wait, I have to tell this story.

[Hannah Berner]

Yes.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay. Sorry, Were you telling a story?

[Hannah Berner]

No.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

I was just talking about walking.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Were you saying anything of importance on our podcast?

[Hannah Berner]

Have I ever said anything of importance?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, perfect. Okay. So if you don't live in New York City, let me just set the scene for you quite quickly. In the last year and a half, I don't know what's going on in New York, but every single thing is a members club. And everyone's joining, Joining a members club. They're staying there for six months. They're canceling. They're going to a new members club. Now, FOMO really does nothing for me. But also, like, sometimes it does. Like, if I am, if I want to go somewhere and I can't have restrictions put upon me, but this is my thing.

[Hannah Berner]

If all I have to do is pay to be a member, that's not exclusive enough for me. If it's easy for me to become a member, I'm not interested in your club.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Here's the thing. I don't like people telling me I can't do something, and I don't like relying on people either. So, like, if I want to go somewhere and they're like, you can't come because you're not a member, and there's no.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, you don't want to deal with that.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm, like, I'm not dealing with that. I'm becoming a member. So whatever. So usually there's like, all these questions.

[Hannah Berner]

How many questions are you member of currently?

[Paige DeSorbo]

3. And I don't go, you don't go.

[Hannah Berner]

But if you have to go once.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Here's the other thing. It's not just three. It's three worldwide. So if they have houses, other places, I'm worldwide.

[Hannah Berner]

And, you know, I love that because I'll just be like, take me with you.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I don't leave my couch. Now, I was applying to my most recent one, and sometimes, look, sometimes I get to not do the application process.

Because maybe I know someone here.

And there. But I had to do an application process for this one recently, and it was some of the craziest questions I've ever seen.

[Hannah Berner]

And I was like, psych evaluation.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like, have you ever thought I did a screenshot? Because I was like, surely I'm.

[Hannah Berner]

You ordered caviar. It came. And the caviar was smaller. Smaller spheres than you thought. What do you do a Throw it at the waitress?

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, it wasn't multiple choice. It was like, write in your answers.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, you hate writing.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Define this.

[Hannah Berner]

No, Like, I wrote a whole book. I'm not writing an. A thesis statement about.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I just put a link to how to giggle. Okay. And then I'm like, am I being weird in these answers? So. Okay, here's the first one. Tell us something. Tell us something. It can be your life story, a fond memory, a time that made you laugh, a successful career experience or anything. You want to share it?

[Hannah Berner]

No. Share out. I'm already out. I'm out. You're doing icebreakers with me. Get me the fuck out of this burning building.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, in my head, I'm like. I'm like, wait a second.

[Hannah Berner]

This is a literal bad date. This is, like, the stuff for me. Wait, do you remember when Facebook groups. I think I still do it. They'd be like, oh, you think you know these people? What was. And you have to answer, like, questions about the group you're going into.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So I. Right. This prompt actually makes me sweat. And I hate saying a fun fact about myself.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, you're quirky. You're quirky. You're not like other girls.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I host a podcast with my best friend, and last week we were on Jimmy Fallon.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, you're a cunt. You go Jimmy, period. Fallon, period. Google it. Period. Suck my dick.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, my God. I literally could not stop laughing. And I was screech, and I literally took a screen.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm surprised you didn't send it to your brother to do it for you.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, wait. That's usually my go to wait. Here's another question. We rely on our existing members to curate and shape the membership via their nomination. If you are already a member, name one or two people in your circle of friends that you would not nominate for a membership. I go. I would nominate my friend Hannah Burn.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, you did. They go. And that's where we're gonna have to. To stop you.

[Paige DeSorbo]

She's an accomplished standup comedian and businessman.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't want to be a part of your this drama. Okay, I am up to here with.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, here's the last One. We would love to know more about your family as well. Do you have a significant other or are you happily single? If you're attached. If you're attached, please tell us about your other half, including their name and a photo. And I was thinking, what?

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, they're basically like, do you have good taste or do you like egos? Are they symmetrical in the face or not?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Needless to say, I did get in.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, this is the thing. You love this shit. Like you just want to be able to go the one time of the year you may need to go.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They were like, cool, we'll see you in 12 weeks. I was like, all right, sick. Here's my credit card number. So at some point in time, Hannah, we can go to the hottest new members club when it opens.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, cool.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, now I'm excited.

[Hannah Berner]

I just.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I did say we are in a lesbian partnership, so just go with it when we get there.

[Hannah Berner]

But we are. But where's the lie? I have to say, when I was walking around New York.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Mm.

[Hannah Berner]

I realized I haven't been outside in a second because, okay, maybe it was cuz I was in the East Village. Lower east side, but restaurants have gotten out of control in New York. It's like just being a restaurant isn't enough anymore. They have to be like, very specific. Have you noticed this?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like, I think I know what you're gonna say.

[Hannah Berner]

One shop is like just gnocchi, the cool ass gnocchi store. And the next one's like sweet potato. All different kinds of sweet potato in different ways. And then the next one is like.

[Paige DeSorbo]

My favorite is the rice is rice pudding place.

[Hannah Berner]

The rice pudding place. Like there are all these niche foods and I'm like, whatever happened to just Italian?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Every time I walk by the rice pudding place, I'm like, you guys bringing in that much volume a day though, that you're paying this rent?

[Hannah Berner]

I've never seen one person walk in there.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, I think a lot of those are money laundering schemes.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, yeah. And like, I respect hustling. I support women in the arts, totally. But it's. It's just so funny, the specific stuff. And then in LA today, I ordered something that had a salad on it, which I was not happy about, but it was Mike Micro greens dosing.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So today we micro dosed at lunch. And like, this is your new question.

[Hannah Berner]

To get into the club. When you hear the word micro, what's the next thing that comes to mind?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Generation.

[Hannah Berner]

Are you in micro?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Indicate immortalization indicator. Finish the sentence. Micro.

[Hannah Berner]

Microgreens. Just get A fucking salad like a normal person. Why did you grow a microgreen? And they taste like grass.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, Microgreens are like legit weeds.

[Hannah Berner]

No. Weeds? Yeah, without the dandelion. Like without the cuteness.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No. It's crazy.

[Hannah Berner]

But then I went to this restaurant.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I saw that you, like, went out.

[Hannah Berner]

Were you jealous?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, I was like, what is she doing? What is she with?

[Hannah Berner]

And I didn't tag the people I was with.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, that was.

[Hannah Berner]

So I just put someone's hand holding a wine glass.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You hard launched a friend.

[Hannah Berner]

It's all just to fuck with you specifically. No. When you go to dinners with like once a year with other people, you tag like eight girls I've never heard of before. And then I say, who are they? And you were like, oh, you've met them. And I'm like, no, I haven't.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Hannah has one other best friend and every time she brings her up, I pretend like I don't know her.

[Hannah Berner]

Do you do that on purpose?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I. I think you guys will never know. I guess we'll never know. No, I really don't. I really don't. Because you rarely say someone's first name. Like, you really talk about people. Like, so, like, it was a business.

[Hannah Berner]

Meeting before I retired. And the problem was, is. Oh, I had a Lululemon. So I'm Lululemon's newest ambassador. And I'm laughing because I'm the first entertainer on their.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I literally was like, guys on their roster.

[Hannah Berner]

I was like, guys, do you want me to hit tennis balls? And they're like, leave that to the professionals. They go, you're bringing joy, you're bringing laughter.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You're the literal personality.

[Hannah Berner]

And I was like, I'm here to be an athlete. And they're like, we have athletes. But no, it was so fun. I did this tennis thing with Lululemon. It's like this Beverly Hills mansion, so fucking fancy and cute day before. I'm telling you about it and you're like, you're getting a spray tan, right? And I was like, yeah, obviously. Get back to my hotel room, find a girl to come over.

[Paige DeSorbo]

See, that's what I love about la. They're literally crawling with spray tan artists.

[Hannah Berner]

They're waiting to come in your room. You have to like, you check into.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The hotel and they're like. And you have a complimentary spray tan artist.

[Hannah Berner]

So I actually, I had a. I literally had to check into my new hotel and I'm texting spray tan artist. By the way, the hotel I went to, it's 3:30 and the room wasn't ready, which I know we're getting into details here. We're getting into. What's the word?

[Paige DeSorbo]

We're getting into the weeds.

[Hannah Berner]

Into the weeds. Second time we brought up weeds today, but that should be fucking illegal. 4:00. I might as well check in at 9:00pm what am I right? I thought I was paying for a night. 4pm is halfway into the night. I go to bed at 7, 4pm and I cockily told my spray tan girl to get there at 3:30. So I'm sitting there waiting for my room. I see my spray tan girl because she's holding like a ton of spray tan stuff, sits next to me. Have to decide, do I tell her. But then I don't know how long I'm gonna be stuck here waiting for the room.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, my God. So you just do the spray tan in the middle of the lobby.

[Hannah Berner]

Luckily, they go, your room's ready. She. She sprays me. Iconic. Get told I have to go to a dinner. Well, it was like a dinner I wanted to go to. I just didn't know if it was happening. And they're like, dinner's on in two hours.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, okay, so two hours.

[Hannah Berner]

So you know where this is going. And she goes, look, the express Tan is 4 hours.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Mmm.

[Hannah Berner]

I said, okay, we're going.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Did she powder you?

[Hannah Berner]

She did. She powdered me. But let's just say I showed up at the dinner people. It was orange, people were looking, people were staring. I walk in and every single person that I talked to, I had to be like, this is a spray tan, by the way. It's baking right now. It's a whole thing.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You wouldn't get it. I'm kind of marinating right now. I thought it was going to be two hours express. It's actually four hour express.

[Hannah Berner]

And I only brought one outfit, Right. Next day, I made some friends at the tennis event. And they were like, do you want to go to dinner? And I go, I know a place. This thing about me, if I like a place, I'm going to dinner.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm going back.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm going back. So now I'm a regular at Salty Girl. Did I tell you? It's called. It's called Salty Girl. Wait, shout out Salty Girl. It's in Boston and la. Please come to New York. It specializes in tin fish.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You're so la, I don't even know who you are right now. What in the fuck is a tin fish? Are you talking about, like caviar?

[Hannah Berner]

No, like, you open a tin and it'll be like smoked mackerel or sardines or. I actually forgot. But it's like fish in a tin in a tin can. It actually sounds like we're prepping for the apocalypse, but we're eating from Canada.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That actually sounds so scary. Like, this is the hottest new restaurant and they've eliminated utensils.

[Hannah Berner]

No. Like, Beyonce's gone there.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Next day, I show up wearing the same outfit because I only brought one outfit, so then I had to tell everyone. So then I got embarrassed at tin fish wearing the same outfit. But anyway, that was my.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I bet it smelled. I mean, I bet it smelled like spray tan. And I'm sure. I mean, I'm a. I bet my life on it. That you sweat at dinner.

[Hannah Berner]

You know me, when I get a good story going, I start sweating immediately.

[Paige DeSorbo]

When I get a good banter back and forth.

[Hannah Berner]

No, you guys, after recording the podcast, I'm soiled. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that word.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Ew. No. In the summer, sometimes we. There was, like, one time when we were recording the pod, it was the middle of the summer, and I was, like, straight up fighting for my life. I feel like I almost passed out.

[Hannah Berner]

No, this is.

It's a marathon, not a sprint. One last thing about me walking.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Have you walked?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, we've only been trying to get to it. You started the pod with this story.

[Hannah Berner]

Have you walked around in an airport recently?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Why are the floors so stuff sticky? Like, I don't know if it's because I had new sneakers on. I'm tripping the entire walk to G4.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You know, it's like one of my favorite conversations, like, as a New Yorker that, like, everyone has had.

[Hannah Berner]

I know what you're gonna say is.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The discussion with other New Yorkers when you just, like, lay down the law on, like, Newark, JFK, LaGuardia, everyone gives their points, and then where they're located in Manhattan, and so that what makes sense for them specifically to go to. Like, I'm so happy. Like, I fully converted one of my friends over, like, fully over to Newark Airport. And I was like, I just don't think you're giving it the credit that it deserves.

[Hannah Berner]

Are you the face of Newark Airport?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like, the face of Newark Airport? And I don't want Delta to find out about it because it is a united hub. And so I'm, like, super dialed in with the Tri City.

[Hannah Berner]

This is random. But one of my friends who's doing great, and it probably can't be disclosed yet. But she's working with Bob's Discount Furniture. And I've never been more jealous.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's kind of how I. How I felt when I saw that Heather McMahon was on a cruise, like, doing comedy. And I was like, wait a second. How has Giggly Squad not been asked to go and do, like, a Giggly Squad themed cruise? And I, like, got really jealous.

[Hannah Berner]

You would just have a panic attack immediately.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, 100%. But the invitation is still nice.

[Hannah Berner]

We go, who wants to have a panic attack on it on a boat with us?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Who wants to really raise the stakes? You can't get away because you're in the middle of the ocean. Anyhow, speaking of stakes. Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, do you have the Citizen app?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I do.

[Hannah Berner]

I was talking to my makeup artist in la and she was making me laugh so hard. Shout out Crystal. She was saying how she deleted the Citizen app because she was like, why are there so many men with machetes?

[Paige DeSorbo]

The Citizen app will really have you.

[Hannah Berner]

How many machetes are there?

[Paige DeSorbo]

The Citizen app will literally have you so grateful for your own problems. Like, I think of it as, like, a dose of, like, my own reality, because I'm like, okay, I'm having, like, not that great of a day, but this guy is losing his damn mind.

[Hannah Berner]

But also, why is it always right outside your doorstep?

[Paige DeSorbo]

You know the other thing I'm, like, waiting for Citizens App to do a collab with Jim Wa. Because, like, the fact that you can go live on Citizens App, I'm like, that's not, like, just anyone can go live on Citizens App and, like, show what's going on.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't have it because I want to, like, live in peace. So, like.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah, and you definitely wouldn't if you had it.

[Hannah Berner]

So I haven't done it. But imagine a Dumas Citizen app where it was, like, Leonardo DiCaprio spotted drinking a beer at.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And you just go live. Yeah. And that person just goes live. And then everyone else can, like, watch the live.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, my God.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's actually terrifying. But a great, great idea.

[Hannah Berner]

A great business idea.

[Paige DeSorbo]

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[Hannah Berner]

This is random, but I have a very important question which we've never discussed on Giggly Squad before.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm so excited.

[Hannah Berner]

You're so excited. I could tell. Were you. I actually know the answer, but were you team. Were you team Britney or Christina?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Do you want to say it on the count of three?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. One, two.

[Paige DeSorbo]

What? I was originally. One, two. Oh, well, not originally, but. Okay, let's just do it. One, two, three. Britney, Brittany.

[Hannah Berner]

See, I was team Christina, which.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Why then. Why'd you just say Britney?

[Hannah Berner]

Because that was you. I thought we were gonna say you. Okay, rewind the tape. Why would we both.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Me. Why would you. You do your.

[Hannah Berner]

Can you guys rewind the tape? What did we say at the time? Grace, rewind it. I. This is so us coded. I was obsessed with Christina because I was like, give her credit. Where Credit is due. That girl has a voice. That girl has the talent. She is. She's. I felt like she was performing less for the male gaze. Looking at it now, I realize Britney was performing for the male gay. Is G A Y S. Okay. I just thought that Christina was like tougher, less girly and better singer.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, so you're less tough if you're more girly.

[Hannah Berner]

That interest misogyny for me. Yeah. Cancel.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Interesting.

[Hannah Berner]

Seven year old Hannah. That was up.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's fucked up. I get what you mean though. She did have more of like a tomboy esque.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, like she was.

[Paige DeSorbo]

She was like more bad. Like she had streaks in her hair.

[Hannah Berner]

Yes, she did red streaks at one point and I just. When she hit the high notes I just thought. But you know what it was? It was us pitting two women against each other.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And that's what the media wanted us to do. And they loved it back then too. Here's the thing. Mine's simple and it's actually like too simple.

And I think I was more of.

A Britney fan because Crossroads and there's just like not much else I could say she was an actress.

[Hannah Berner]

Yes.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You know?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I would have loved to seen Christina dip her toe in that waters, but she just didn't. And so for that.

[Hannah Berner]

Did you not see Burlesque?

[Paige DeSorbo]

That's you're going years later.

[Hannah Berner]

True.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm talking peak denim on denim.

[Hannah Berner]

Zoe Zeldana, iconique, iconique. Should we remake Crossroads with me, you and Grace? Wait, that's what our tour doc is.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's Crossroads. Isn't she like going to like find. What do they even go? What is the plot of Crossroads?

[Hannah Berner]

You know, I've never watched Crossroads.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I couldn't tell you a single fact about it.

[Hannah Berner]

Now, one storyline on Crossroads, I feel.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like Zoe Zeldana does lose her virginity and it's like to like the soccer coach something really. I think something was like highly illegal. But like we just like never said anything about it. But anyhow.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, people aren't talking about Jessica Simpson's comeback?

[Paige DeSorbo]

What's going on? What is she doing?

[Hannah Berner]

Like, I think she. Her and her husband broke up and she like she's singing again.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I love that for her.

[Hannah Berner]

And people were so mean about her vocals when like. I'm sorry, what?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Her vocals are my breath away. Like take my breath away. Now let's talk about singers going to actresses mode. Her in Daisy Dukes.

Yeah, but that's not the name of it. What's it called?

Those are just denim shorts.

[Hannah Berner]

Wasn't she In a Dane Cook one.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Dukes of Hazzard.

[Hannah Berner]

I was close.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You were close?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Like, again, what was that movie? And, like, not good. But I loved her in it. Like, I like watching. This is why I can't watch post apocalyptic. I grew up on Crossroads. I grew up on the Dukes of Hazard. I need to see a pretty girl. I literally sound like an old misogynistic man. I'm like, if they're not pretty on the screen, I want to see a cute little outfit.

[Hannah Berner]

Do you look good or you look like. I want to see you look good. That's so. Yeah. What?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Smile more. Wow.

[Hannah Berner]

Smile more.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Why do I get, like, Southern?

[Hannah Berner]

Can we discuss you showing up to the book event? Not dressing girly in a full dad 80s suit, tie, glasses. How was it? What was the experience?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, well, it's so funny because everyone was in my DMs, being like, you're stealing Hannah's style. You're stealing Hannah's style.

[Hannah Berner]

That's so funny, because no one DM that to me.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Really? Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

My people were supportive. They were like, paige looks so good.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Oh, my God. See, my girls turned against me.

[Hannah Berner]

No, your girls were like, this is not the page we signed up for. They go, we have enough of Hannah. We don't need more.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They're like, we've been duped. And quite frankly, is this gonna stay for a while?

[Hannah Berner]

Because we just have to know if we have to jump off ship.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I.

[Hannah Berner]

So the pages were not happy.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I got that suit, like, that little set, and then I saw that I had those glasses, and I was just like, I can't not.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay. So it was a set so everyone could calm down. She wore a set. She didn't go completely rogue.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I just feel like when I'm in la, I am different. And, like, I am just more apt to, like, fuck it, let's try it. Like, I feel like I'm in a different country and, like, they don't even have the same TV channels, you know? Like, I'm like, it's different.

[Hannah Berner]

I go, how do you say cucumber?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. I'm immediately Hilaria Baldwin when I step into la.

[Hannah Berner]

The thing, though, with outfits is, like, you actually carry yourself differently in different outfits. Wait, we got red to filth. Right before we got to the venue, Paige is wearing her outfit. I'm wearing my outfit. This man is just getting in the elevator and he goes, are you guys in a play? We couldn't even answer him. We were like, that was good.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And I don't think dumbfounded because he.

[Hannah Berner]

Wasn'T even trying to be mean. He genuinely was like, you guys look ridiculous. And we go, oh, you don't understand what avant garde is, you uncultured swine.

[Paige DeSorbo]

He literally Kim Kardashian us. He was like, you look like fucking clowns.

[Hannah Berner]

You're like, it's an oversized blazer, sir. He goes, okay, Charlie Chaplin.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I think you wouldn't get it.

[Hannah Berner]

I did look like Little House on the Prairie.

[Paige DeSorbo]

He's like, sorry, my sisters are acting crazy right now.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, God. But the book tour's been so fun. There was, like, smart people there. It was like the Coachella for books in LA that we went to. And.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, that's why I was, like, nervous going to la. I was like, wait, this is, like, a real. This is, like, scholastic book fair for, like, adults, like, on steroids.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, you're so right. So you were overcompensated? You panicked.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I was like, this is if the scholastic book fair, like, grew up, got a job in finance, and, like, did cocaine. So I just had to get dressed appropriately.

[Hannah Berner]

That is so funny.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The LA Times was like, can you please not refer to us?

[Hannah Berner]

It's not really the brand we were going for. But they. Thank you.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Okay, well, let's tell the story. Wait. So we're at this book event, and they're like, okay, guys, like, now you have to go upstairs, and they take your pictures, and there's, like, one, like, little video thing that they're gonna want to do with you. And we're like, okay, great. Like, amazing. Look, the last thing you want to do to me and Hannah is put us on a set. Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

With lights, camera, action.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. With props.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. They had one sofa, and we were like, let's get into it.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, like, we'll make do. It's showbiz. Like, figure it out. And they ask us the first question. Okay. Now, mind you, it's in a room of, like, just men. Yes. Like, that threw us of various ages. And so they ask us the first question, and it's like, if your book was a scent, like, what would it smell like? And so sorry. I, like, I'm being myself. The first thing that popped into my.

[Hannah Berner]

Mind, Hannah's vagina was so funny about it. Is. Cause I was ready to be a professional, as you know. It's great working with me. Like, I was gonna put on my smart voice. I was trying to think of a soliloquy.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You were like, lemongrass, eucalyptus. And I was like, my best friend's pussy.

[Hannah Berner]

And when you said that I could not have been more proud of you. Like, I was like, I raised her right.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I was like, because she birthed this book, okay. Put some respect on her vagine.

[Hannah Berner]

It feels like, you know when you're hanging out with your friend group all the time and then you start talking to someone who's not in your friend group and you realize the shit you're saying is, like, not okay, but you've been enabled. That's us out of giggly Squad. Like fish out of water flopping around.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The men in this room were so taken. It was as if they were going to take our rights right away.

[Hannah Berner]

In that they go, this is why these bitches shouldn't have microphones.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They're like, and this is why women aren't presidents.

[Hannah Berner]

This is not the America we signed up for. And then you go in a Gwyneth Paltrow kind of way. And he was like, still don't know what that means.

[Paige DeSorbo]

There's like one girl in the back and she was like, I get it.

[Hannah Berner]

You know what's crazy? We're technically on a press tour, a la Wicked.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No weed. Literally.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, I didn't realize it until it was too late. I was like, this is a press tour?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Really? Because I've been keeping character with my outfits as well. And you are. You're telling me you haven't noticed I've been dressing as a New York Times best selling author?

[Hannah Berner]

Well, the second you hit bestseller status, you brought out the fake glasses, which you honestly have been kind of killing. But you don't commit to them. You take them off because you said it hurt.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Because they give me headaches.

[Hannah Berner]

You said you can't see your hear or taste.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I lose all my senses.

[Hannah Berner]

I would wear more, but I have a very specific shape that works with my egghead. You can wear different shape glasses because whatever. Genetically, you're like, lucky in that way.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Hats and glasses. I do. I do find that I. I can pull them off.

[Hannah Berner]

I can't pull off a hat.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You can, but you're just, like, nervous.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. I feel insecure. I feel like everyone's like, look at her in that hat.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. They're like, she doesn't wear hats a lot. And we know.

[Hannah Berner]

I could tell that girl took a risk with the hat today. It's a.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It was a weird one for a Tuesday afternoon, but we're supporting her.

[Hannah Berner]

Someone's like, oh, sorry, you're in a hat. I just can't focus right now. Yeah, wait. I feel like there was some crazy pop culture stuff going on. Is miley Cyrus's dad dating someone.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Elizabeth Hurley.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, can you explain who Elizabeth Hurley.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Is or just like, what's happened? Dating?

[Hannah Berner]

How they meet? Like, do you know the tea?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I actually don't know anything. Except I did see that they, like, were posting on Instagram together.

[Hannah Berner]

Imagine it's a PR relationship and someone was like, this will be good for you guys.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Not only. Okay, here's the thing too, that, like, people need to be stopped.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They did a joint post on Instagram.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. I just. I think because they are older, they.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Didn'T know and they were celebrating Easter together.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't know why, but I feel like we're supposed to be mad at Billy Ray Cyrus. I feel like I don't trust a man with three names that goes by. Three names. What are you hiding? What are you trying to distract me from? And Elizabeth Hurley, that's like Versace. Iconic, like, status. She's. She's like beyond an icon.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Someone said Liz has a history of dating eccentric guys. Well, here's the thing. I don't think anyone of his family, like, talks to him. Like, I don't think Miley Cyrus talks.

[Hannah Berner]

Also, I wouldn't call him eccentric. He's a country singer.

[Paige DeSorbo]

But like, he's not. I mean, like, he is, but, like, he's weird. Like, his Instagram's weird. He posts weird things.

[Hannah Berner]

He has a moment.

[Paige DeSorbo]

They're giving me like, Angelina Jolie and her brother. No, Billy Bob. Thori. Oh, Billy Bob.

[Hannah Berner]

Thorium.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wore each other's blood. Like, stuff like that.

[Hannah Berner]

Hot take. If you're an adult, don't go by Billy. It's weird. Your name's Bill. Your name's William. Your name's William.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. Going by Billy. Like Josephine's dog's name is Billy. So it's like literally all I can think of. Think of a dog's name.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. That's a beautiful Billy. Hi, Billy. Not a grown man who has to pay taxes. Billy or Bobby. Your name's Bob.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I don't mind Bobby.

[Hannah Berner]

Not if you're like 70.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Agree to disagree.

I don't mind Bobby. I would. I love a robber.

[Hannah Berner]

Are you really sticking with that answer?

[Paige DeSorbo]

If I had to go toe to toe, if it was like this and like the. Between this and my soulmate, like, if his name was Bobby, like, I would be fine with that.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm triggered because I actually did date a very good looking guy, but his name was Bobby and I couldn't take him seriously.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I get that. And you're valid for that.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. Is the Met Gala Coming up.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's literally tomorrow. It's next week.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, my God. Are you okay? Like, how are you feeling about it?

[Paige DeSorbo]

I mean, I'm excited about it. Honestly. I'm so exhausted from this month that I'm like, there's not much that could get me excited right now. You know, we didn't even really talk about becoming a New York Times bestseller.

[Hannah Berner]

We didn't.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's kind of crazy.

[Hannah Berner]

Cause, like, the Gigglers definitely don't read the New York Times.

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, we certainly don't.

[Hannah Berner]

I mean, we're on TikTok, which basically.

[Paige DeSorbo]

The New York Times.

But no, it wouldn't. We wouldn't get this if it wasn't for the Giggler. So I just, like, wanted to say thank you because it really is just such a crazy moment. Actually, our. We, like, got on a zoom with, like, all of our team to, like, for them to tell us, like, if we got made it or not. We were, like, waiting for the results, whatever, and they videoed it. And Hannah and I are so, like, in shock that, like, it looks like the video. Like, it literally looks like we didn't give a shit because we were just like, wait, what? Like, there's just no way.

[Hannah Berner]

Also, we didn't write a book to, like, hope that it comes in New York Times bestseller. Like, we wrote a book to make the Gigglers laugh, and then we forget that, like, gigglers have become. It's become bigger than us.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

And we just love the Gigglers so much. It's crazy. Like, we're still getting tagged in, like, hundreds of posts of people. Also, some of these girls are going on nice vacations with their book. No, let's discuss that for a second. Bitches are in Turks and Caicos.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Wait, let's talk about the gossip in which, like, where are the Gigglers not working anymore?

[Hannah Berner]

The Gigglers are retired or they have cute as fuck pets?

[Paige DeSorbo]

No, the Gigglers are on vacation.

[Hannah Berner]

And we love that for them. And we're going on it soon. We're going on one soon.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Some of their engagement rings. I'm like, oh, okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, girl. No. Like, you can learn so much about someone's life just from their decision of what they post the book as their aesthetic behind it. Yeah. I also. We should officially announce that our YouTube series, Hannah and Paige Try New Things, where we force ourselves to try new things in a different city each week. First episode drops Monday, 6pm Lock in, motherfuckers. It's happening. It's game time. We're back on the big screen. When you Watch it on your computer. Or you. Or you guys. Some of you attach it to your real tv, which is woman in stem.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah. Hannah could literally never.

[Hannah Berner]

I want to see if I have any final questions. Oh, I learned that there's nannies for plants.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Love that. As someone who's kept one specific plan alive for like, almost five years, I get that, and I agree with that.

[Hannah Berner]

Would you ever give your baby to an, like a nanny?

[Paige DeSorbo]

To take care of my plant?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Paige DeSorbo]

100.

[Hannah Berner]

Does Daphne try to eat her?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Never. Not once. Has literally zero interest in my plant.

[Hannah Berner]

Daphne's busy looking at herself in the mirror.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Daphne is like, I really don't get her. Like, Daphne's never had human food. Never even come over to it. Has no interest, does not care.

[Hannah Berner]

She's so British and well behaved.

[Paige DeSorbo]

She's like, I look at you. I don't need. No, I don't need your food.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, I don't want your gnocchi. I don't want your salty. Actually, she would love. She would love a tin fish. She would love a fish. And that's called a callback, motherfuckers. Never doubt us.

[Paige DeSorbo]

That would pique her interest.

[Hannah Berner]

Thank you guys so much for giggling with us this week. Definitely watch Amy or listen to Amy Poehler's interview with us. Subscribe to our YouTube for Henna Paige Try New Things episodes out on Monday and we love you so much.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Bye Bye.

[Hannah Berner]

Hey, everyone, it's Jenna Bush Hager from Today with Jenna and Friends, reminding you to check out my podcast Open Book with Jenna and this week's episode, I sit down with Hannah Berner and Paige Desorbo from the Giggly Squad podcast to discuss friendships in their new book how to A Guide to Taking life Less Seriously. You can listen to the full conversation now by searching Open Book with Jenna wherever you get your podcasts.

[Marc Maron]

Hey, it's Marc Maron from WTF here to let you know that this podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. And I'm sure the reason you're listening to this podcast right now is because you chose it well. Choose progressives Name your price tool and you could find insurance options that fit your budget. So you can pick the best one for your situation. Who doesn't like choice? Try [e-mail]. and now some legal info. Progressive Casualty Insurance company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Brooke Devart]

Hi, Brooke Devart here, host of Naked Beauty. Every week I talk to my audience about beauty and self care. I'm someone who spends a lot of time in the bathroom. It is truly my sanctuary. So investing in a smart toilet from Kohler has been life changing. The Kohler Vail Smart Toilet has a heated seat, hands free, opening of the lid, and customizable bidet functionality. It is incredible. But beyond the technology, the design is just stunning. The veil's curved silhouette in honed black actually inspired creative director and fashion designer Laura Kim to create a stunning black chiffon dress that debuted on the Runway at New York Fashion Week. The creative partnership between Kohler and Laura Kim is changing how we think about everyday objects like a toilet. Transform your routine into something extraordinary with the Kohler Vail Smart Toilet.