Giggly Squad Episode Summary:

“Giggling about crushes, conjugal visits, and kalteen bars”
Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Release Date: March 13, 2026

Episode Overview

In this lively and banter-filled episode, Hannah and Paige discuss everything from the emotional power of the right outfit to their unexpectedly profound friendship, growing up with “cool moms,” small town gossip, protein bar scandals, the psychology behind pop culture drama, and why sometimes having a boyfriend in jail might be the ultimate hack. As always, they roast themselves and each other, share personal anecdotes, and deliver hot takes on fashion, astrology, reality TV, and the bizarre world of influencer wellness trends.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Fashion & Mood: The Power of Outfits

• [02:01-02:34] Paige and Hannah explore how an outfit can make or break your entire day.
  • Paige: “I've broken up with boyfriends, and, like, I just can't. I'm overstimulated and my outfit sucks, and everybody knows it.”
  • Hannah: “The right outfit makes you believe in yourself. The wrong outfit—cancel everything.”
• Paige's ‘YSL windbreaker’ earns endless compliments; Hannah notes, “But you also don't feel like talking. You just want people to look at you today.”

Peak Bestie Vibes & Friendship

• [02:54-03:10] The duo celebrate the deepening of their friendship.
  • Hannah: “Not to get deep, but I feel like me and you have never been more in love... We’re like, obsessed with each other. We’re so close, like on a soul sister level right now.”
  • Paige recalls: “The other day, you said to me, if I wanted to stop being your friend, I could have years ago.”

Out with Parents: Small Town Gossip & Awkward Crushes

• [06:35-09:03] Paige shares a story of going out with her parents and a guy hitting on her mom in a small-town bar:
  • Paige: “I'm like, my dad is, like, right here. And it scarred me. I was, like, disgusted.”
• Both hosts reflect on having “cool moms” and the complexity it brings to their own dating lives.

Moms, Parents, and Their Social Lives

• [09:15-10:25] Hannah and Paige discuss their mothers’ personalities, the art of being a “silent killer” at dinner, and busting outdated stories their parents claim the podcast got wrong.

Astrology & Identity

• [15:04-16:26] Paige reads an insightful DM about Aquarius rising, and Hannah riffs on TikTok astrological memes.
  • Quote: "I don't give a—I care so much about astrology.” (Hannah, [16:27])

Pop Culture Drama: Doja Cat’s Meta-Apology & Virtue Signaling

• [16:58-18:39] Paige summarizes Doja Cat’s viral apology for virtue signaling over opera and ballet, leading to broader discussions about social media’s “anger economy.”
  • Paige reads: “What I was doing yesterday was virtue signaling because I wanted to connect... it’s a modern way to garner clicks, likes, approval.”
• [18:39-20:18] Both admit they see through the cycles of online outrage and content strategy:
  • Hannah: “Algorithm will be full of people that agree with you…You get clicks when you’re speaking on an issue that’s hating on someone.”

Wellness Trends & Protein Bar Scandal

• [24:28-28:54] Hannah & Paige get real about the protein bar industry, specifically the “David Protein drama”—allegedly mislabeling caloric content.
  • Hannah: “People are freaking out. They're like, this is. Well, that seems illegal.”
  • Takeaway: “One thing my mom, who’s a dietitian, told me is, just eat real food. When in doubt, just eat real food.” ([28:45])

Food Ads & Set Secrets

• [29:04-31:35] Riffing on the McDonald’s CEO awkwardly biting a burger, fake food on set, and the magic (and faux pas) of food artistry during commercial shoots.

The End of Drinking (Sort of) & Shopping as Therapy

• [31:47-33:39] Reflect on shared empanada flights, evolving drinking habits (mocktails ahead), and the physical exhaustion induced by a full day of leisure shopping.

Digital Life: Laptop Nostalgia & Attention Span

• [33:12-34:08] Lament about “kids today” missing out on the glory of laptops in bed and multi-device browsing; mothers are convinced TikTok is ruining their attention spans.

Reality TV: Love is Blind & The Art of the Reunion Host

• [34:10-37:43] Paige critiques Netflix’s reunion specials, comparing them to Andy Cohen’s masterful work on Bravo.
  • Key Insight: “They need a gay man because a gay man can get away with way more than a woman ever could.” (Paige, [36:25])
  • Hannah: “If it was girls fighting, people would be murdered. But instead, it's, like, funny [with gay men].” ([37:09])

Teenage Boy Paranoia & Men in Jail: The Genius of Conjugal Relationships

• [38:39-41:53]
  • Hannah’s hot take: “If your man’s in jail, he’s up to nothing…He's writing you novels…He doesn't bother you, like, low key.”
  • Paige: “If you're writing to a person in jail to have a relationship with, you're insane.”
  • Segue to conjugal visits: What really happens, and why 50 Cent’s “21 Questions” might be the best research.
  • Notable: “You’ll never get out of the flirty phase because you only have a minute with him.” (Hannah, [39:55])

Crushes, Kanye, & One Liners

• [43:00-43:22] Discuss Kanye’s refusal to wish Kim well:
  • Paige: “Somebody asked him if he wishes Kim the best, and he said no, because that would mean she'd end up with me.”

Texting Aesthetics & The Secret Codes of Gay Men

• [47:09-49:05]
  • Hannah: “If men text in all lowercase, they're gay because that means they have to uncapitalize the first letter.”
  • On why gay men shorten words: “They're busy. They have things to do. …also, they have to deal with possibly getting chased by, like, angry straight men.”

Crowds, Ubers, and Urban Survival

• [49:32-52:01] Navigating crowds at Indian Wells with “backpack lady”; Uber etiquette, solidarity, and lowkey fender-bender confessions.

Babysitting & Kids: To Love or Not to Love?

• [52:17-54:37]
  • Paige admits: “I remember being so offended, I was like, no [to babysitting]. I don't know your kid.”
  • On kids in public: “I'm like, and there's goddamn kids.” (Paige, [54:24])
  • On style: “What if they have a good outfit on?—Adorable. Well, that's a testament to the mother.” ([54:42])

Nona Maxing & The Italian Grandma Aesthetic

• [54:44-56:56]
  • Paige, re: grandma: “We'd go sit outside, talk about the neighborhood. I was 4 years old, and I was like, she did what?”
• “Nona Maxing” = wearing cotton nightgowns, eating old recipes, and gossiping on the porch.

Blue Zones & Longevity

• [57:01-58:12]
  • Hannah: “So when I got all the way back to, like, the 1600s…One of them lived till 93… I'm like, 93 in the 1700s. Is that insane?”
  • Paige explains blue zones: “It was about all these different places in the world that people live to, like, an insane age.”

End-of-Episode Vibes: Support, Awards, and Style

• [59:51-62:35] The duo joke about not caring if they win awards (“We have each other”), choosing outfits for podcast awards, and the simple joy in bestie support.
  • Paige: “That's what friends do…They support their other friends and they, like, want the best for them.”
  • Hannah: “Women supporting women. Gigglers supporting gigglers.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The right outfit makes you believe in yourself. The wrong outfit—cancel everything.” — Hannah ([02:29])
• “I'm like, my dad is, like, right here. And it scarred me. I was, like, disgusted.” — Paige ([09:03])
• “Algorithm will be full of people that agree with you…You get clicks when you’re speaking on an issue hating on someone.” — Hannah ([18:39])
• “If your man’s in jail, he’s up to nothing…He doesn't bother you, like low key.” — Hannah ([39:18])
• On hosting reunions: “They need a gay man because a gay man can get away with way more than a woman ever could.” — Paige ([36:25])
• “If men text in all lowercase, they're gay because that means they have to uncapitalize the first letter.” — Hannah ([47:18])
• On “Nona maxing”: “Eating generational recipes. Cotton nightgowns. Walking everywhere. Air out the home.” — Hannah & Paige ([55:01])
• “That's what friends do… They support their other friends and they, like, want the best for them.” — Paige ([60:54])

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------------|------------| | Fashion & Vibes | 02:01–02:34| | Deep BFF Love & Dinner Stories | 02:54–04:51| | Parents, Crushes & Small Town Bars | 06:35–09:03| | Moms: The Ultimate Mess & Parenting Myths | 09:15–10:25| | Astrology DMs & Identity Memes | 15:04–16:27| | Doja Cat & The Virtue Signaling Cycle | 16:58–20:23| | Protein Bar Scandal | 24:28–28:54| | McDonald’s CEO, Ads, & Food Artistry | 29:04–31:35| | Reality TV: Bravo vs. Netflix Reunions | 34:10–37:43| | Jailed Boyfriends & Conjugal Visits | 38:39–41:56| | Texting, Language, and “Gay Man Decoding” | 47:09–49:05| | Babysitting, Kids, & Annoyances | 52:17–54:37| | Nona-Maxing & Italian Grandma Aesthetic | 54:44–56:56| | Longevity & Blue Zones | 57:01–58:12| | Friendship, Books, & Podcast Awards | 59:51–62:35|

Final Vibe

This episode was classic Giggly Squad: rapid fire wit, relatable hot takes, and a swirl of nostalgia, pop culture, and honest girl talk. Even when riffing on conjugal visits or decoding gay texting patterns, Paige and Hannah keep the energy breezy and self-aware, always ready with a one-liner to keep listeners giggling.

“Women supporting women. Gigglers supporting gigglers.”