Giggling about diners, demotions, and shaved heads

Summary

Giggly Squad: Giggling about Diners, Demotions, and Shaved Heads

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Episode Date: September 16, 2025

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Episode Overview

This week, Giggly Squad’s Hannah and Paige giggle their way through conversations about fashion week dinners, accessory drama, wedding cake mishaps, pop culture throwbacks, and the wild saga of a new Charlie Sheen documentary. The duo leans into their blend of candid self-deprecation and humor, giving listeners a mix of personal stories, friendship vibes, and cheeky commentary.

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1. Outfits, Vibes & Lower East Side Tensions

Timestamps: 01:22–06:00

• Paige arrives with major Lower East Side cool girl energy and is grilled about her unique pant-scarf-one-piece situation by Chris.

  “You love dressing for the part… You love being like, oh, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch.” —Hannah (01:40)

• Discuss Chris’s “Giggly Squad University” status and whether he lives anywhere but the podcast room.
• Fashion as identity: Paige worries about dressing for every occasion and “waking up thinking I’m a Barbie.”
• Big sunglasses drama: Hannah gets roasted by Grace, “It’s giving Kate Plus Eight,” leading to fashion self-doubt.

  “My worst nightmare happened this week.” —Hannah (03:13)

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2. On the Road: Hannah’s Comedy Mishap in Buffalo

Timestamps: 03:11–07:53

• Hannah’s mental spiral backstage in Buffalo—she accidentally calls the entire crowd “Boston” instead.

  “I just go, what the fuck is up, Boston? And as I'm saying it, I realize… I could gaslight them and keep going, or admit it.” —Hannah (06:30)

• Buffalo pride: Both agree Buffalo is “the most proud town in the country,” so the flub was especially dire.
• Crowd response: Fans DM Hannah jokes like “Thanks for coming to Boston!”
• Travel logistics: Hannah shares how she got to Buffalo via Rochester, emphasizing how unglamorous the road life really is.

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3. Voice Note Mania & Friendship Dynamics

Timestamps: 08:00–12:25

• Voice note exchanges: Hannah sends page-long updates, which Paige sometimes only reads as transcripts to avoid awkwardness in public.

  “This is the problem with being friends with a public figure…” —Hannah (09:34)

• The etiquette of voice notes: Shorter is better, but sometimes friends drop 15-minute monsters.
• Tech gossip: The transcript feature on phones is both a blessing and invading Paige’s privacy at fashion shoots.
• Friendship check-ins: Laughter is mutual, even if the stories are often forgotten by the next day.

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4. Fashion Week: Morgan Stewart’s Not-Quite–Fashion Dinner

Timestamps: 13:14–16:16

• Paige gets invited to Morgan Stewart’s Fashion Week dinner.
• The anti-Fashion Week dinner: It’s “not like a Fashion Week dinner,” meaning low-key, no drapes or candles, just a private room full of cool girls and skinny margaritas.

  “It was very, grab your skinny margarita, take a seat, give two pieces of gossip, and then move along.” —Paige (14:12)

• Guests: Tinx, Sarah, Ariel Charnas, and Stewart’s close friends—not a “who’s who” event.
• Paige’s nerves and early exit: She admits she “melts at 10PM” and was first to leave.

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5. Accessories Hot Takes: Bracelets, Bangles, and Demotion by Nail Tech

Timestamps: 16:17–20:26

• Jewelry anxiety! Both hosts confess neither can handle bracelets or everyday jewelry (“sensory overload”).

  “I can't do bracelets. There's too much...It's sensory overload.” —Hannah (16:28)

• Rings and marital status: Hannah gets rashes from her wedding ring due to “the water in different states.”
• Accessory FOMO: The existential realization “you wake up and you go, oh no, this outfit needs a belt.”
• Nail drama: Hannah recounts her “demotion” by nail artist Jacqueline to “nubs,” while Paige feels constantly tested by the color/length options her tech gives.

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6. Band Encounters, Pop Culture: Vampire Weekend & Celebrity Breakups

Timestamps: 25:24–33:50

• Hannah hangs out with Vampire Weekend (sort of) via Chris and a band member who’s also a comedian/violinist.
• **Paige cluelessly mistakes “Vampire Weekend” for “Vampire Diaries.”
• Nina Dobrev breakup: The hosts discuss Nina’s rumored split after cheating allegations (“She gave him too much confidence”).

  “Look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot girl, but they were taking it to the limit, that one.” —Paige (26:53)

• Skiing vs. Snowboarding: Paige and Hannah detour into sports stereotypes, ultimately declaring, “I don’t trust a snowboarder.”

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7. Throwback Slang, Reality TV Trends, and Catalog Nostalgia

Timestamps: 28:23–34:45

• Hot take: Let’s bring back calling things “whack.”
• Dancing with the Stars: Hannah contemplates watching for the first time thanks to a killer Gen Z social media team.
• Paige wants catalogs back: Reminiscing about flipping through Victoria’s Secret and circling items as a kid.

  “Girls like us being like, Mom, I really want this crop top. And then just men jerking off to it.” —Hannah (31:49)

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8. Diners: The Sacred Ritual and Diner Aesthetics

Timestamps: 35:01–37:14

• Hannah dines solo at a classic diner and texts Paige and Grace a mom-style food pic.
• Signs of a good diner:
  • Wooden tables
  • Condiments pre-set
  • Utensils wrapped in a paper napkin
  • Cloudy plastic water cups “abnormally big”

  “When you have ketchup, salt, pepper, they even have their napkins in there…they mean business.” —Paige (36:15)

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9. Pop Culture Check-In: Hilary Duff Resurgence, Catfish to Real Estate

Timestamps: 37:21–42:26

• Hilary Duff is back in the studio, possibly inspired by Lindsay Lohan’s “phenomenal year.”
• Millennial Disney nostalgia: Cadet Kelly, Lizzie McGuire, and the “Disney double team” sports movies.
• Nev/Neve from Catfish is now in real estate.

  “He just announced very casually, like, on a city bike. He’s like, if anyone needs help with their homes, I'm selling real estate.” —Hannah (39:27)

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10. Fantasy Football & Competitive Streaks

Timestamps: 46:07–48:46

• Hannah’s fantasy football update: She beat Taylor Strecker’s pregnant wife.

  “Come for the beast, you're gonna get eaten. That's what they say. Big dog gotta eat.” —Hannah (46:29)

• Paige’s indifference to fantasy sports: She admits she’d either go “all in or forget it like a Tamagotchi.”
• **Hannah’s near-win last year is framed as actually being a “fucking loser,” since there’s no prize for almost.

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11. TikTok Wives, Shaved Heads, and Wedding Cake Red Flags

Timestamps: 49:31–52:39

• Viral debate: Woman shaves head without asking her husband; he demands wigs.

  “When you want to make a drastic change to your hair, normally it means you want a drastic change in your life.” —Hannah (50:17)

• Wedding cake smush: Paige is firmly against it, calling it a “misogynistic” move and recounting an ex who said not letting him smash cake was “not fun.”

  “You hate women.” —Hannah (51:34)

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12. The Charlie Sheen Documentary Deconstruction

Timestamps: 53:04–62:26

• Paige and Hannah are obsessed.
  • Spectacular editing and “the best diner confessions.”

  “He did not have to say…10% of what he said, and I would have been like, that's a great documentary.” —Hannah (53:51)

• Wild moments: Ice up the butt to sober up on set; Sean Penn’s NSFW coke anecdotes; men getting “infinite chances” in Hollywood.
• Family dynamics: Denise Richards discussed lovingly, the missing-in-action mom, supportive siblings.
• Discussion of fame addiction:

  “He couldn’t be famous. It was the fame…It wasn’t the movies… It got too much.” —Paige (61:25)

• Takeaways: More men should be as open about their “menu” (bisexuality); Hollywood always forgives famous men, but relationships are more complex.

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13. Final Giggles: Revenge TV, Lasagna Soup & International Sushi

Timestamps: 64:49–67:10

• Netflix recommends: “Revenge Love Con”—from the Tinder Swindler survivor turned P.I.
• Lasagna soup’s fall debut and best-ever crispy lasagna in Tuscany.
• Do Italians ever crave sushi? Existential questions about cross-cultural food FOMO.
• Wrap-up musings: “That’s who they are…Like, imagine if you never tried Diet Coke. You wouldn’t crave it.”

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Notable Quotes

• “You love being like, oh, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch.” —Hannah (01:40)
• “My worst nightmare happened this week.” —Hannah (03:13)
• “I just go, what the fuck is up, Boston? And as I'm saying it, I realize…” —Hannah (06:30)
• “Grab your skinny margarita, take a seat, give two pieces of gossip, and then move along.” —Paige (14:12)
• “I can't do bracelets. There's too much...It's sensory overload.” —Hannah (16:28)
• “Look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot girl, but they were taking it to the limit, that one.” —Paige (26:53)
• “When you want to make a drastic change to your hair, normally it means you want a drastic change in your life.” —Hannah (50:17)
• “Come for the beast, you're gonna get eaten. That's what they say. Big dog gotta eat.” —Hannah (46:29)
• “He did not have to say…10% of what he said, and I would have been like, that's a great documentary.” —Hannah (53:51)
• “He couldn’t be famous. It was the fame…It wasn’t the movies… It got too much.” —Paige (61:25)

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Recap & Takeaways

• Giggly Squad delivers a fast, loose, and thoroughly entertaining gossip hang—from fashion mishaps to deep pop culture dives.
• The episode touches on friendship etiquette, personal style anxieties, generational slang, and the masculine privilege of endless comebacks.
• Both hosts shine with authentic vulnerability, quick wit, and a refusal to take themselves (or anyone else) too seriously.
• The Charlie Sheen documentary review is not to be missed for fans of pop culture candy with a side of empathy and personal growth.

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For listeners who skipped the ads and just want the giggles, this summary brings all the best bits from Hannah and Paige’s latest freewheeling conversation.

Transcript

[Hannah]

A real Lemonade Pet insurance review by.

[Paige]

Madison H. You know, I thought it was a little ridiculous to get pet insurance, but I really didn't want to not take my little kitten to the vet because of money. In the last eight months, I've taken him in six times because of ear infections and saved literally hundreds of dollars. He may even need to get surgery. And I couldn't consider it without Lemonade's help. I recommend Lemonade to all my friends constantly. And now I'm recommending it to you.

[Hannah]

Check it [e-mail] pet.

[Paige]

If there's one thing Abercrombie knows, it's denim. They know how it should feel, how it should look, and all of their staple denim fits are always ahead of the trend. Abercrombie's viral curve Love denim fit has additional room through the hip and thigh to eliminate any waist gap. And the classic fit, you know and love with a straighter line from waist to hip. And this is the way denim should feel. Confident, easy, and like, your butt has never looked better. Shop Abercrombie denim in the app, online and in store. Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix your WI fi.

[Hannah]

Manifest that shit.

[Paige]

We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

[Hannah]

Hello, my Guggenheim gigglers.

[Paige]

Yeah, we're cultured.

[Hannah]

You knew I was gonna say that. It's DJ Dachshund and DJ Dachshund here.

[Paige]

To party whenever I come to do the podcast. You live on the Lower east side. I am put together like a Lower east side outfit.

[Hannah]

You love dressing for the part. You love being like, oh, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch.

[Paige]

I wake up thinking I'm a Barbie. I'm like, what is my profession today? What is my vibe? What is my outfit?

[Hannah]

You're a Lower east cool girl. I love how you brought in and.

[Paige]

Chris was like, what's the pant situation? Never seen that before. Is that a scarf? Is that a one piece? He was very intrigued.

[Hannah]

I was very curious. I feel like Chris has learned. So like, Chris has been to Giggly Squad University and like you're. You've almost graduated. Not yet, just a couple. I don't think you ever graduated. No, it's a multi level marketing student.

[Paige]

I recently met people that know Chris like on their own accord.

[Hannah]

Oh, I didn't know he had other friends.

[Paige]

Highly of him.

[Hannah]

Really?

[Paige]

I didn't know he did things outside of this room.

[Hannah]

Room.

[Paige]

I thought he lived here the whole time.

[Hannah]

Yeah, I thought he just waited for us with his legs swinging like, excited for us to come in.

[Paige]

They're gonna come back next Monday.

[Hannah]

Side note, I was trying on sunglasses today because you just brought sunglasses. And I put them on. They were, like, kind of big. And Grace looks at me and goes, it's giving Kate plus eight. When I tell you, wait my. She read me to fill.

[Paige]

Switching all. Yeah.

[Hannah]

Do you want to know why? Because you've been socializing all weekend while I was alone in a hotel room.

[Paige]

Sending me copy copious voice messages.

[Hannah]

And guess what? I was sending them because I wanted the tea. You're out in New York City, running around. I'm alone in a hotel room in Buffalo, which shout out to Buffalo, but.

[Paige]

I'm clearly calling Boston.

[Hannah]

Who told you that? Who told you that? No, you guys. My worst nightmare happened this week. I was going through a lot this weekend alone, and I'm sending.

[Paige]

I got so many DMs. Hannah just called all of us Boston, but we're actually in Buffalo. Ha ha, ha, ha, ha. Miss you.

[Hannah]

Okay, I wasn't going to start with this, but here we are. I was peeing as one does.

[Paige]

You look so pretty today. I love when you give, like, old money. I love when you wear designer.

[Hannah]

You know, we haven't been in the studio. Whenever we're in the studio, we want to make out like we love each other. And then on zoom, I'm like, we. What do you want? What do you want from me? So I'm peeing before my show. Now, the way my shows work is I have an opener. Caroline Banowitz, who's amazing, and she does this song about dick pics as her finale song. Okay, so once the dick pic song goes. I know. Like, okay, be ready.

[Paige]

I haven't gotten a dick pic in years.

[Hannah]

That's why we're at peace.

[Paige]

No, truly.

[Hannah]

And then when people show me other their dick pics that are being sent to them, that's, like, more abrasive.

[Paige]

One time I had. This is so bad. One time I had a boyfriend and we literally broke up because he couldn't stop sending dick pics to other people.

[Hannah]

I thought you were gonna say you. That got so much sadder.

[Paige]

I was like, you really have to stop.

[Hannah]

Wait. And he's like. But I'm not, like, saying anything.

[Paige]

He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. He was like a classic. Like, you didn't see that. And I'm like, I literally experienced it with my own body. And he was like, no, you didn't.

[Hannah]

He's like, I've never been on a date with them. I don't tell them I like them. I just.

[Paige]

What are you talking about?

[Hannah]

You didn't share the. Share the art of my shaft. I heard guys use 0.5 now. Anyway, so I'm like peeing and there was a photographer there. And we start yapping normally I'm like, alone in my green room. Yeah, cuz you're not there. And it's just my opener on stage. And I'm like, ready? So I'm yappy, yappy, yakim, yapping, yakking. Suddenly I hear the crowd start clapping and I go, oh my God, I'm on. But I haven't been like, like, like, I don't know, like ready mentally. So I'm like frantic. And I like. In these theaters, I had to like run down a hallway.

[Paige]

No one came and got you?

[Hannah]

No, not all the theaters are that organized.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

It's really a lot. Like there's one thing happening there, it's.

[Paige]

You going on stage.

[Hannah]

What do you mean? Because I think we weren't like that far.

[Paige]

They're only there for you.

[Hannah]

But I also think they're like, hannah, you have one reason to be here, so you should be ready to go see my eye.

[Paige]

The other one went, we don't know. I don't know what's going on.

[Hannah]

Don't look directly at me. So I like sprint down the hallway. It wasn't that long of a hallway. And I get on perfect timing. And I look at her and I can tell. Caroline can't tell. Because to leave your opener without you coming on is not okay. That's super embarrassing. Where they're like, okay, where is she? Once I got stuck in the elevator. But otherwise I'm really fucking good at being prepared for it because that's the only reason I was there, right? So I get on stage and I was not giving myself excuses, but I was a little bit thrown. I was a little frantic. I was feeling anxious and I grabbed the mic and you hear the energy and. And I just go, what the fuck is up, Boston? And as I'm saying it, I realize, okay, there's two ways to go about this. I could just hope that they didn't hear that. Yep. I could just continue on like nothing happened and gaslight them to think they heard it in their head.

[Paige]

They're now in Boston.

[Hannah]

But yeah, we're in Boston. Or I say what we're all thinking, which is, I just called all you guys Boston. So obviously I went with the latter. And I was like, yeah, I am so sorry. And. But also Buffalo, by the way, is the most. Like, they are a tiny town that has their own football team. Like, they are the most proud town in all of probably the country.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So the fact I said, hello, Boston. I could have gotten stoned.

[Paige]

They live through full on tundras.

[Hannah]

Yep.

[Paige]

And they don't complain at all.

[Hannah]

Nope. They're just sweet.

[Paige]

They live in Alaska and they don't care and they're pro and they're happy about it. And they're like, we see the sun for 48 hours once a year and we're good.

[Hannah]

I thought upstate was Westchester growing up. Turns out it's not. It's Buffalo.

[Paige]

No, it's really not.

[Hannah]

And so in that moment, I like you. For the next, like, five minutes, I'm doing, like, the beginning of my show and I'm just repeating it in my head. Like, was it as bad as. Yeah, that was really bad.

[Paige]

I couldn't believe people were coming to tell me. They were like, oh, my God, you gotta hear this.

[Hannah]

I know. You're like, hannah's so stupid. You're front rowed Fashion week. And people are like, your friend is so fucking dumb. But the best was when I got off stage, the messages were so funny. They go, boston loves you. Thank you so much for coming to Boston.

[Paige]

We do love Boston.

[Hannah]

Best show ever.

[Paige]

I have done a show in Buffalo.

[Hannah]

You have to. It was incredible. But it was like 1700 girls all messaging me, making fun of me.

[Paige]

How'd you get there?

[Hannah]

I had to actually fly to Rochester, and then we drove because I had a show in Rochester the night before. Anyway, meanwhile, I'm struggling and I'm sending you some stuff. And if I see photos of you, I need a story.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And you know how we got there? Who you saw, whatever. And she's not giving me anything. So I started making up voice notes. I was like, hey, I got to tell you about something.

[Paige]

Hannah sent me some the most incredible voice notes this weekend. And here's the thing.

[Hannah]

Couldn't tell you what they're about.

[Paige]

No, I couldn't either now. But at the time, I was like, oh, my God. Like, I saw them come in and I did. Wait, this is the funniest thing. I'm at a shoot all day Friday. I'm with Tresemme. We're doing stuff all day. I get two voice notes from you back to back, two double two minuters. I'm like, oh, my God, let's freaking go now with the update of the phone, you know how you can click See Seymour, and it's, like, written out.

[Hannah]

Oh, yeah.

[Paige]

So I'm, like, around people, so I'm not, like, just gonna play your voice.

[Hannah]

Go ahead. You want to hear what Hannah's saying?

[Paige]

That would be a death sentence. Who knows what could be?

[Hannah]

No, I'd never work in this town again.

[Paige]

So I'm like. I click it and I'm reading it, and someone comes from over my shoulder, and they're like, oh, my God, what is that? And, like, first of all, hipaa.

[Hannah]

No, that is such a hipaa.

[Paige]

I'm like, second of all, let a girl get a voice note from her friend and know that it's not appropriate to listen to you right now in this moment. But I couldn't. I had to know what the gist was.

[Hannah]

This is. The problem with being friends with a public figure is that she's either locked away in the safest, most private place where she can be, like, blasting your voice notes, or she's surrounded by a full team of 12 people and everyone who's ever worked in Hollywood. So you just have to pray. I don't remember what I said, but it was literally to be, like. You respond to be like, these are the best voice messages I've ever heard. And I go, okay, that was. I want you to respond with a voicemail.

[Paige]

I know, but I didn't have the time. And honestly, I didn't even have. I didn't have any good gossip to give you. But what people don't talk enough about with voice notes, like, when you're like, I know when you're about to start laughing about something, because I.

[Hannah]

So listening.

[Paige]

To a voice note, like, just know when you're recording it. I'm laughing at the same time. Okay. And I think that's important for you.

[Hannah]

To know that, like, warmed my heart.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Also, I have a paranoia that I'm gonna be, like, really good, like, two minutes into a voice note and then fuck up, like, two and a half minutes in. And, like, I'm a performer. Like, I don't like. You're fine with the coughing. I don't like too much. But you are a cougher. You're an adult.

[Paige]

Well, you should hear, like, when I send ads to Grace, I'm like, also you. I'm like, sorry, I need a minute.

[Hannah]

When you record the ads, not to. You know how the sausage is made? You press record, and then you record, like, all the ads. I have to record it one by one because I'm convinced I'm gonna, like, knock over my recording yeah, I'm on.

[Paige]

There for like 25 minutes.

[Hannah]

My voicemail.

[Paige]

I feel like Grace has heard me on the phone with my mom, but I stop and do like my own thing. You just therapy.

[Hannah]

You go, wait, my therapist is on the line.

[Paige]

There has been times where I'll go on Instagram for like five minutes and I'll be like, oh, shit, I'm doing ads. Like Grace, sorry, God forbid you, like.

[Hannah]

Just send her two files or more than one file.

[Paige]

I don't want her to have to open that much.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

You know, I want her to get one email.

[Hannah]

My thing with the voice notes, I'd rather send like ten one minute voice notes than one ten minute one because I think it's easier to consume. But that's just my process.

[Paige]

I have a girlfriend who we don't speak often. Like, we speak quarterly. Honestly. We catch up and then we move about our lives.

[Hannah]

Q3 is when we follow up.

[Paige]

A couple days ago, this bitch sent me a 15 minute voice note. I mean, the updates were completely necessary. I literally got an update on her entire summer.

[Hannah]

Wait, that's a standing ovation at the concert.

[Paige]

I literally did that at the film festival. I set it down and I was like, you're getting like, I'm folding.

[Hannah]

I'm like, but doesn't the phone sometimes stop playing it because the phone goes to sleep?

[Paige]

Yeah. And I have to like, no, it's a whole thing.

[Hannah]

Was it better than mine?

[Paige]

No, it was more informational. I'll say.

[Hannah]

Which honestly, valid.

[Paige]

Definitely more factual. It wasn't as opinion based.

[Hannah]

Definitely cohesive. Definitely full sentences were formed. We have so much to talk about. Shall I begin with. Oh, no, you have. It's coming to you.

[Paige]

I shall begin.

[Hannah]

Yes, I shall.

[Paige]

The floor is yours.

[Hannah]

Yours.

[Paige]

Stupid stuff. Wait, not right now. We're not talking about this right now. But I watched the Charlie Sheen documentary because I knew you were going to talk about it. So in a later, at a later time, we'll dive into it. But I just want you to know, going into it, I've seen it, clock it.

[Hannah]

Okay. That's made me very excited. This is a voice note from Paige, by the way. She coughs, she tells you what she's going to talk about, then forgets what she was going to talk talk about.

[Paige]

A couple weeks ago, I get a message, a DM from Morgan Stewart, who.

[Hannah]

Is Lord our savior.

[Paige]

You know, the best thing about my assistant is she's so Gen Z that like, I bring up Morgan Stewart at least once a week. Like I'm referencing Her. And every single time I say, she goes, who? And I go, honestly? No. Keep me young. Thank you. I get a DM from Morgan Stewart and I'm like, my life is made. We start, like, chit chatting, whatever. And then she goes, I'm having a dinner during Fashion Week, but not like a Fashion week dinner. And I. I totally knew what she meant by that. And I was like, of course.

[Hannah]

For people that don't know. Can you explain?

[Paige]

Like, she was having a Fashion week dinner, but she was having a Morgan Stewart, she wanted to hang dinner. She wasn't having, like, a branded in your face. Yeah, like drapes. She didn't have drapes and candles.

[Hannah]

She's not having fluorescent lighting.

[Paige]

She didn't have any fluorescent lighting.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

She obviously had a photographer.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

But, like, it was very. Grab your skinny margarita, take a seat, give two pieces of gossip, and then move along. So I had never met her before in person.

[Hannah]

I didn't know that.

[Paige]

Yeah. So I didn't, like, know what to expect. First of all, walk up to the restaurant. So chic. Not a sign in sight. Could have literally been walking into a dentist office. They're like, private room is upstairs. So New York, this French restaurant, it was called. I think it was called Le Vu. I was just like, yeah, Blair Waldorf, like, goes here. So I walk in, she's the first person I see. We hug. We immediately start talking about glam. So I'm like, no, I'm home.

[Hannah]

Were you nervous?

[Paige]

I was very nervous, but I wasn't nervous enough to take a beta blocker because I was like, no. I manifested this.

[Hannah]

This is like this was gonna happen. We knew it.

[Paige]

Yeah, it was.

[Hannah]

We prepared.

[Paige]

She literally just had her friends at dinner. It was me, Tinks, this girl Sarah, Ariel, Charnas were like, the only people that I feel like I knew from Instagram. Everyone else, I was like, oh, that's your best friend.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So it was like a fun, funny dinner.

[Hannah]

Sounds like a bachelorette party.

[Paige]

I had two cocktails, which I never do.

[Hannah]

That means you were in a good mood.

[Paige]

I will say I was the first person to leave. I didn't even have that struck 10. 15. I was like, I'm literally. I melt at 10, so I have to scrap.

[Hannah]

I live on the Upper west side, which is basically Europe, so I have to go now.

[Paige]

Here's the other thing.

[Hannah]

You had to beat the traffic.

[Paige]

Dinner was on. The dinner was uptown, and that's how I knew. I was like, I'm in the right.

[Hannah]

Place at the right time, right place.

[Paige]

At the right time. All the kids are downtown. They're doing their thing. They're walking the punk way.

[Hannah]

Being punks.

[Paige]

They're being literal punks. Okay? And I'm up to uptown at a Mommy and Me, and then I'm going home.

[Hannah]

I was uptown too, but I was in Boston.

[Paige]

But she was the best. It was like, just a chic, cute dinner.

[Hannah]

I love belt.

[Paige]

We all got a belt, and it was, like, amazing.

[Hannah]

People don't talk about belts enough. No, belts are never in the conversation. Then one day you wake up and you go, oh, no. This outfit needs a belt, and you don't have one.

[Paige]

Yep, I hoard belts.

[Hannah]

Actually, speaking of accessories, I have a hot take as someone who's. I don't know if it's because I'm anxious or possibly ADHD or just. I get overwhelmed easily. I can't do bracelets. There's too much. What's it called, sensory overload. When I wear a bracelet, I'm like. I walk into a room and I'm like, I'm wearing your bracelet. I try talking. I'm like, are you looking at my bracelet?

[Paige]

Or the girls that wear the same necklaces every single day. And my thought is, are you showering in them?

[Hannah]

Yes, you are.

[Paige]

Are you sleeping in them?

[Hannah]

Yeah, you are.

[Paige]

Because that would. We are not really jewelry gals.

[Hannah]

No. Like, when I got engaged, I was like, cool. I don't wear rings, you guys. I don't wear my wedding ring.

[Paige]

Well, I don't want it.

[Hannah]

I don't want my wedding ring. I don't wear my wedding ring because I started getting rashes. I don't even know why. And people will be like, are you not married?

[Paige]

Eczema? Or like. It was like.

[Hannah]

I think it's. Cause when I wash my hands in so many different states. Sorry. I'm traveling a lot when I'm in Boston versus Buffalo.

[Paige]

Wait, are you gonna blame, like, a water issue?

[Hannah]

Yeah, the water's different. And I think I also don't dry my hands to the point every time. And it starts. It starts getting red. Like, I get a rash. So I don't wear my wedding ring. No one needs two rings on the finger. No one needs to. Prison. It's a prison. And then when I wear. If you wear. God forbid, I wear a bangle, I'm like, I can't focus on this conversation because my bangle's moving.

[Paige]

When I see the girls wearing, like, the hand chains.

[Hannah]

My friend Madison plays tennis in her body chain.

[Paige]

I'm like, I don't Know how they're doing it.

[Hannah]

Not to call her out, but it's like. It's. It's like girls who wear sweaters that are itchy just for fun. Like, I think bracelets. Or the girls who have stacked bracelets.

[Paige]

No, I can't.

[Hannah]

I could do that maybe for a look.

[Paige]

I can't even. We are. We wear studs. Like, I love stacking jewelry and wearing a bunch of bracelets and wearing a.

[Hannah]

Bunch of rings for 30 minutes, but.

[Paige]

Then when I get home, get it. Get it off.

[Hannah]

Also when you can't get a bracelet off, Nothing more humbling.

[Paige]

One of my friends had a bracelet on. I'm not kidding. For, like, four months. And she was like, well, because I couldn't get it off. If the moment I knew I couldn't get it off, that's the moment I have to take pliers, because I'm not gonna live in my own prison that I've created. I'd start having a literal panic and then get it off.

[Hannah]

Also, I am wearing a ring right now that's, like, huge, and I love it, but it's the only thing I'm gonna think about this whole pod.

[Paige]

I know for a fact that you're cleaning out your apartment right now, and these are all items that you've recently found that you forgot. And you put it all together today, and you were like, wait, cool outfit. Forgot I had it. I know that's what happened because never have I once seen you walk in with earrings and a ring and, like, also a fit that I haven't seen in a while.

[Hannah]

Now that I'm fully exposed, I feel.

[Paige]

Naked on this one.

[Hannah]

I saw Jacqueline, our nail girl. After a full summer not seeing her, I opened the door, and she was like, funny singing here. I said, jacqueline, do you know we talk about you on the podcast every single week? And she was like, yeah, it's really funny. And I was like, come in. And then I said, jacqueline, I need natural.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And then she went, arguably too natural, because I said, jacqueline, you can give me, like, fake long ones. And she goes, no, you just cut it off. So I lost privileges with her.

[Paige]

She goes, I didn't even know Jacqueline could demote you.

[Hannah]

No, she demoted me. Like, she tried with me. Yeah. And is over my shit. And she said, I'm keeping your nubs nubby. And this is what you get sometimes.

[Paige]

Jacqueline will give me an option. She'll give me two options. Right.

[Hannah]

But which I love.

[Paige]

I feel like she's secretly testing me because I know that she likes one of the options more. And so sometimes I'll say one and she'll look at me and I'll go the other one.

[Hannah]

She doesn't say yes. She'll just nod and look back down. And I'm like, I'm sorry. So scared right now. But also, I did. I haven't cut cut them, but maybe I did once and she hasn't forgiven me. But Jacqueline's back in my life.

[Paige]

Good.

[Hannah]

You guys know we hate admin at Giggly Squad. And that's why we love Square. Today's episode's brought to you by Square. It's smart, streamlined tools that make running your business simple. I want to announce that I am doing merch on my standup tour and I'm using Square for a lot of the transactions. Let's be honest, I never have cash on me. I will always pick the wrong credit card. I never know what to use. So when a coffee shop just has a simple square for me to do a nice tap, the world makes sense again. There's no learning curve, no tech headaches, just intuitive design for business owners and for the people buying stuff. Easy to use from day one. From cafes to salons to retail shops to food trucks, Square has a setup that fits your business and plans. Our listeners get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign [e-mail] comm. Visit today and discover how Square can transform your business. Some local sellers that use Square in the Lower east side where I live and love is Little Canal Van Leeuwen ice cream, which is so good in the East Village and Cafe Divinion. Oh my God, they have the best bread. Definitely Go Square keeps up so you don't have to slow down. Get everything you need to run and grow your business without any long term commitments. And why wait? Right now you can get up to 200 off Square hardware at square.go giggly. That's S Q-U-A-R E.com go giggly. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.

[Paige]

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[Hannah]

I also hung out with Vampire Weekend. They're a band. Chris knows them. Chris knows them.

[Paige]

How old are you?

[Hannah]

Into the city? About down.

[Paige]

Do they have another ballad of some sort? I'm not. I'm not. That one's not clicking.

[Hannah]

These guys, like, they're just in a band. And this.

[Paige]

What is it? Vampire.

[Hannah]

What Weekend? They're very like. They popped off 10 years ago. Okay. So I was like, how's Tor guys? They really good.

[Paige]

Where'd you meet them?

[Hannah]

At the airport. Because they. There's a girl in their band who's also a comedian, who's like a genius and also does violin. Isabel.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

And she's.

[Paige]

This is the most ADHD conversation I feel like I've ever been a part of.

[Hannah]

Anyway, I thought you were going to know Vampire Weekend is. But because, you know.

[Paige]

Do you even know me? Does that sound like something I. The fuck.

[Hannah]

That is Nelly. And I'm like, no.

[Paige]

Either you're talking about Vampire Diaries and you're going to bring up that the star of Vampire Diaries just broke up with her.

[Hannah]

Shall we talk about Nina?

[Paige]

Shall we?

[Hannah]

She's having so much fun on Instagram.

[Paige]

The rumor is that he cheated on her.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Then she did a TikTok that was.

[Hannah]

Like, like iconic, kind of basically like confirming it. You.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I think they were engaged for like five years. I'm gonna be honest, I never saw them together.

[Hannah]

Yeah. This is.

[Paige]

And look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot girl. Oh, my God. Sometimes. I'm a huge fan of that.

[Hannah]

I didn't want to say it, but.

[Paige]

But they were taking it to the limit, that one.

[Hannah]

This is the thing. There are handsome gingers out there.

[Paige]

100%.

[Hannah]

And there are talented gingers out there. And there are kind gingers out there. Yeah. This one in particular, I think it's giving. She gave him too much confidence.

[Paige]

She made him cool. That's what it is.

[Hannah]

Snowboarders need to calm down. Like, as a former skier when I was skiing, everyone was so polite. So excuse me, whatever. Then I'd fucking die.

[Paige]

I almost got murdered.

[Hannah]

No, they come. They're all. They literally are.

[Paige]

Like a group of 14 year olds. Drunk snowboarders.

[Hannah]

No. Like, they rob you and Then they steal your glasses, and then you're scared and freezing, and then they give you the finger as they go down every time. I don't trust a snowboarder. I don't like that.

[Paige]

They literally take my glasses, slap them back at me, give me the finger, ski down, and, like, take all the hot chocolate. I don't know.

[Hannah]

No, like, they get off on scaring people. They're like those kids on Halloween that, like, throw eggs with Nair in them. Like, those are snowboarders.

[Paige]

Is that a thing?

[Hannah]

Oh, my God. In the city? Yeah.

[Paige]

Oh, my God, that's intense.

[Hannah]

Okay, so shout out to Nina. We love you.

[Paige]

Wow. Your list is.

[Hannah]

My list is crazy. Oh, can we bring back a saying? Yeah, can we please start saying that shit's whack? Like, can we say whack at least?

[Paige]

I feel like.

[Hannah]

Like, that's so whack.

[Paige]

So whack.

[Hannah]

I don't know. As I said out loud.

[Paige]

No, I feel like I've said it recently.

[Hannah]

Wack. Like, whack was my everything. Everything was like. It's whack.

[Paige]

It's funny because on TikTok, there's a lot of Gen Z people making videos of, like, four millennials. Like, hey, here's things we don't say anymore. Here's things like that, like, you said, that means the same thing here. Whack is such a great word to describe anything say, I think feel the same way with swag.

[Hannah]

Oh, yeah.

[Paige]

Thank God for Justin Bieber.

[Hannah]

Thank tgif.

[Paige]

What happened? Tgif? And not to bring up Topanga, she's on Dancing with the Stars this year.

[Hannah]

Can I make an announcement? Yeah. I think I'm gonna watch Dancing with the Stars this year. Really? I've never watched it.

[Paige]

I've never watched it either. You're just, like, feeling. Are you feeling like old school reality tv? Did you have. I was like, is that you're trying to get into, like, competition?

[Hannah]

No, it's more like, first of all, my TikTok is just full of all of them. And then I realized they all do, like, incredible TikToks.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

There's a Gen Z that works at Dancing with the Stars because these. No offense, but these guys are dancing, like, training intensely. They're not also coming up with, like, incredible TikTok strategies. Yeah. The social media team is killing it. So every day I'm like, I'm.

[Paige]

That's the only reason I knew anything that was going on with Brooks and Gleb. Like, I didn't watch this show.

[Hannah]

I think I might Watch it. Cause there's also like more people that I like kind of know. Sometimes I feel like it used to be they just get like people who were on a TV show like 20 years ago. Yeah. Or like an athlete that like broke his ACL and is like, doesn't know what to do.

[Paige]

I love a like former athlete coming back to do something.

[Hannah]

Yeah. And you're like, he has seen your passion, but he's figuring it out. Yeah. So like, I think I might watch it. Okay. And this is coming from.

[Paige]

I might watch. It's so crazy because I might watch the Bachelorette this year.

[Hannah]

Oh, well, that is. That is another level of time consuming.

[Paige]

Oh.

[Hannah]

Because of Taylor, Frankie, Paul. Oh, that's.

[Paige]

Wait. Okay.

[Hannah]

Both Mormon. Both Mormon.

[Paige]

I've been getting a lot of like nostalgia videos I want to bring back shopping from a catalog. Like, I like, obviously it's being taken over by shopping online, but like, do you remember being young and your mom getting like the Victoria's Secret catalog and going through and like circling like different things and then she'd physically call and order what she had to get.

[Hannah]

She was like, number 8, 7, 4, 3, 2. Like I would fuck that up.

[Paige]

Like the women in step. Just thinking about there was like a group of women ready to receive these.

[Hannah]

Phone calls from a group of women.

[Paige]

Who are at home being like, okay, number eight.

[Hannah]

This was an underground economy that people didn't know of.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

But it was crazy about those magazines is it was used two ways. It was girls like us being like, mom, I really want this like crop top.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And then just like men jerking off to it.

[Paige]

Oh, I didn't even think of that.

[Hannah]

They didn't have like.

[Paige]

That's disgusting.

[Hannah]

Men didn't have porn back then. They had to like find magazines and. Or they had. Yeah, they had to like draw it. Men would draw boobs and jerk off to it from memory.

[Paige]

Why? I guess that never crossed my mind that like a 13 year old boy back then, like getting pumped for their mom to get like the summer Victoria's Secret catalog.

[Hannah]

I was like going to look at it and I'm like, why is it crispy? Why are the pages crispy? Daniel?

[Paige]

That's so vile.

[Hannah]

So vile. I also had a friend who got in trouble cause he was printing out a photo of boobs or a photo of a woman and his mom caught him mid print. Like, what are you doing with this? He got in big trouble.

[Paige]

One time I was at my friend's house in seventh grade and we were playing in her basement and we Found all of her dad's dirty magazines. Aw. And I was just like, wait, what? Also, wow, that made my eye twitch.

[Hannah]

This is TMI, but my brother was, like, 13 or 14, and he went to camp, and my parents got a call and they were freaking out. They were like, we have to tell you something. In his cabin, one of the boys brought disturbing material that he may or may not have seen. And my parents were like, what did he see? Like, they really got scared. And they were like, it was a photo of girls in bikinis. And my dad was like, okay, can you bring it back?

[Paige]

But I guess, like, they send a picture. Let me see.

[Hannah]

No, let me see what?

[Paige]

Let me see what he said.

[Hannah]

Also, he saw it. They're like, he may or may not have seen a kid brought that in. But anyway, that was, like, what men were busy doing instead of learning about consent. Do you think purple lettuce thinks it's better than other lettuces? Let us eye.

[Paige]

Yes. Because when I'm eating purple lettuce or.

[Hannah]

A colored carrot, you stop and you go, you're gorgeous.

[Paige]

If I have a tricolored carrot on my plate.

[Hannah]

Your tax bracket has changed.

[Paige]

My tax bracket has changed. I know more languages than you do.

[Hannah]

Like, yeah, I feel like the purple lettuce knows. And it's always curly in a way where it's just, like, you could put it on a dress and it always comes out of nowhere. You're gnawing on your rabbit food, and then you're like, who is she?

[Paige]

Are you just talking about cabbage?

[Hannah]

I don't know enough about the lettuce species to be able to. What is the purple? I don't. Look, I'm starting this new thing. I tried to eat salads last week. It didn't work.

[Paige]

Wait, I texted Grace, like, recently, and she was like, sorry, Hannah's, like, not responding because she's in a Pilates class. And I was just like, what?

[Hannah]

I'm trying to be healthy before I go on tour. Before I go on tour.

[Paige]

Oh, did you. Are you sticking to the rule on tour where there's no eating after at 11:00pm no. Oh, you haven't stuck to it? Funny, because last year we had to stick to it.

[Hannah]

Yep.

[Paige]

Because, well, last year you tried to put me in a caloric deficit and I was famished. This year, you're willy nilly just ordering whatever. Don't know what town you're even in. You're so stuffed.

[Hannah]

I did get a really good Mexican bowl on Saturday.

[Paige]

Wait, the other day, Hannah sent me.

[Hannah]

I was eating my feelings. After I embarrassed myself in front of all the girls at Buffalo, Hannah sent.

[Paige]

Me and Grace, like, in our group chat, a picture of her, like, being out to brunch by herself. Honestly, it was such a, like, mom text. Like, you know, like, when your mom's somewhere with your dad? Like, we just. Like, we're at brunch, and it's just like, the table.

[Hannah]

It's like, okay, but is dad there? You're so right. You're so valid. I could have taken a cuter photo, but I was texting you guys and then just pulled a photo that I took on my own randomly. It wasn't aesthetic, and it wasn't cool.

[Paige]

But just from the photo, I could tell that whatever town you were in, you found the most amazing diner. A couple key things I could tell from an amazing diner. The wooden table. Like, a good wooden table, they mean business when the condiments are already on.

[Hannah]

The table because they know you're about to go in. Yep.

[Paige]

So when you have ketchup, salt, pepper, they even have their napkins in there.

[Hannah]

Spicy stuff. Also, when you order, you don't order anything. You just say, fuck me up, fam. Also, do you know how you know it's gonna be fucking good? When the utensils are wrapped in a paper napkin? Like, they're not just sitting on a napkin.

[Paige]

Don't give me a cloth.

[Hannah]

Not a cloth. But also, I don't want just a napkin sitting. I want it like they had. They're going so fast that they're just.

[Paige]

Have you ever seen someone wrapping those up and then put the thing.

[Hannah]

No. Is it like people doing Domino's boxes?

[Paige]

No, it's like, they can go so fast.

[Hannah]

Also, this place, it was in San Francisco, they also had juices, which, like.

[Paige]

Also, I want a plastic water cup.

[Hannah]

And I want it to be so abnormally big. Like, there's no way I could finish.

[Paige]

And discolored.

[Hannah]

Discolored. Cloudy. And yeah, I got pancakes for the table. And by the table, I met my table.

[Paige]

Yeah. My God, my eyes, like, really twitching.

[Hannah]

There's, like, pop culture stuff going on that I want to bring up.

[Paige]

Okay. Hilary Duff getting back in the studio. Well, you want. I don't want to. I don't want to bring up an old rivalry, but I would say we are watching Lindsay live her best life. Look phenomenal. She just did Freaky Friday. They had. They had, like, redone Mean Girls. She went to the premiere. She's just like. She's on every cover. She looks phenomenal. People are like, she has her own.

[Hannah]

She has Verizon ads.

[Paige]

She lives her life in Dubai. She's a mom. No one was bringing up Hilary Duff. And I think maybe she's going to have a resurgence because of that.

[Hannah]

Not to pit women against women, but I think maybe there was some inspiration.

[Paige]

Certainly not pitting women against women, although I just did. But I do find it ironic that, like, they did have, like, a beat beef back then and now, like, they're both.

[Hannah]

I'm so sad for that.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

The millennials are excited. Grace, do you, like, remember Hilary Duff at all? Yes. Yeah. What do you remember, like, Cadet Kelly. Cadet Kelly. Okay. Yeah.

[Paige]

Like Lizzie McGuire.

[Hannah]

Lizzie McGuire. Okay.

[Paige]

I feel like I loved Cadet Kelly.

[Hannah]

Loved. I. But I, like, loved Impossible more so you. I also did, like, all the Disney double team movies. Whenever there was, like, a sport and the girl came in, I was like.

[Paige]

See, I loved, like, Lindsay Lohan. Clue. Like, gotta get a clue. Like, she was in. She was wearing cool outfits.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Anyhow, another pop culture topic, Nev, from the catfishing show is now.

[Paige]

Is it Neve?

[Hannah]

Neve. Yeah, it's Neve. Is it Neeve?

[Paige]

I think he goes by both.

[Hannah]

Cause Neeve, I think he's not picky. Neeve is also an Irish name spelled N, A, I, M, G, PH or something.

[Paige]

I want to say it's Neve, but.

[Hannah]

Okay. Could be.

[Paige]

Who am I?

[Hannah]

Neve, Buffalo, Boston. He is in real estate now. He just announced very casually, like, on a city bike. He's like, if anyone needs help with their homes, I'm selling real estate.

[Paige]

Wait, what happened to Catfish?

[Hannah]

I think it's done.

[Paige]

It's done.

[Hannah]

Yeah, but maybe he always had a passion for homes. Like, maybe the whole time he didn't really care about.

[Paige]

You know what we say about real estate. No one going to.

[Hannah]

You're in a dark place, wakes up.

[Paige]

And says, I'll be a real estate agent today. That's going to NFL players who are one bad day away from really losing it. They gotta buy a building or something.

[Hannah]

For people who are, like, people. People, like, like, talking to people. And they have, like, connections in the industry. It could help.

[Paige]

I'm actually not gonna knock it because.

[Hannah]

We support men in the arts.

[Paige]

No, I support having, like, a normal job. He spends so the. So much of his life being a TV host and, like, being in the public.

[Hannah]

Do you know how he got famous?

[Paige]

He was.

[Hannah]

He got catfished and did a documentary.

[Paige]

Yeah. So I feel like the last 20 years he's been in, he probably Wants something that's like a little more structured. Maybe like he's not really traveling that much. It's like chill. People know him. People would like walk in and see a familiar face and probably like want him to be his real estate agent just because of that.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Honestly, I take back everything.

[Hannah]

If anyone needs an apartment. You know what?

[Paige]

I'm moving you.

[Hannah]

Be such you. There's another life where you live like in Kansas and you are the it girl of real estate. Like every single bench in that town has my pants. And you're wearing a power suit. The best like no one's ever seen. Your glam is incredible. No one's ever seen you without full glam.

[Paige]

They call me Penthouse page and there's.

[Hannah]

No penthouses in Kansas.

[Paige]

That's really sexual. Actually.

[Hannah]

That's.

[Paige]

That actually sounds like my only fans page. I take that back. Back Parkway P. No, not. Still not good.

[Hannah]

And you don't actually make eye contact with any of your clients.

[Paige]

But I've thought about real estate and you know what knocks me down every time I'm not doing math in my adult age. I've moved on. I'm past that.

[Hannah]

Do you have to do math?

[Paige]

You have to know square footage and stuff. And like you have to know like there is numbers. And I'm like, actually no.

[Hannah]

Did you watch Selling Sunset?

[Paige]

Not really. I like don't like. If I'm watching a real estate show, it's because I genuinely want to see the houses in the real estate. Like I do find that interesting. I don't care about like the real estate agent drama.

[Hannah]

It was a lot of like them getting out of the Yukon SUV slowly so they could see.

[Paige]

It's a lot of arrivals and departures.

[Hannah]

A lot of arrivals and leaving.

[Paige]

There's nothing Netflix reality shows love more.

[Hannah]

Than arrivals and a non copyrighted music background.

[Paige]

A strut.

[Hannah]

She's.

[Paige]

She's a sexy one.

[Hannah]

Yeah. She sex sexy.

[Paige]

No. Netflix will get hard for a slow strut.

[Hannah]

Yes, it really does. Or it's not slow, but they go slow mo.

[Paige]

Yeah. If you're looking for the perfect stackable rings, I feel like I'm always on the hunt for like a really good stack of mini cute rings. Then Majori is the place to go. I actually just. Just got this gold and silver. It's kind of like intertwined ring because I feel like so many people are like, you're either gold or you're either silver. But sometimes I need to be both because I can't make up my mind. Missouri is created for women by women and majority is breaking down barriers in what has been a long, exclusive and occasional category of men buying jewelry for women. I love gifting myself especially jewelry, and Maggiore has all price points. There's clearly a reason it's one of the most loved jewelry brands out there because it really does have everything you're looking for. I also love stacking my earrings. I have three holes in each ear, so I love buying cute little things that go with whatever look I'm doing that day. So start stacking your favorites and shop online or visit maguri.com to find a store near you. I use heat every day of my life and I've tried so so many heat protectants. None of them felt like they were making a difference for my damaged hair until I tried K18's new heat bounce Conditioning Heat Protectant. Instead of just coating the hair like traditional heat protectants, patented tech fortifies hair from the Inside out for 85% less breakage after blow drying Heat Bounce delivers deeper heat protection than ever before, so I can go from a bouncy, shiny blowout to a sleek ponytail without worrying about damage. Plus, my hair is getting stronger with continued use. Shop Heat Bounce at Sephora or use code giggly for 10% off your first order at k18hair.com that's code giggly hair.com.

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[Hannah]

Did I talk too much? Did I just let it go?

[Paige]

Take a breath. You're not alone. Let's talk about what's going on. Counseling helps you sort through the noise with qualified professionals and online therapy makes it convenient. See if it's for you, visit betterhelp.com for 10% off your first month of online therapy and let life feel better. How's your fantasy football team doing?

[Hannah]

Thank you for bringing that up. We're not done with, like, this weekend of playing, but I played Taylor Strecker's wife, who's pregnant, and I beat that bitch. I said, oh, you're her mono. You beat the grand baby.

[Paige]

Look, come and losers lose. What do we decide to Donahue?

[Hannah]

Like, look, come for the beast. You're gonna get eaten. That's what they say. Like, big dog gotta eat.

[Paige]

She's like, I'm literally just trying to.

[Hannah]

Like, she's also like, I don't even want to play in this league. I'm texting her.

[Paige]

I thought it was something fun. Means.

[Hannah]

I literally texted her, like, the mom from that documentary. I'm like, you stupid bitch. Why would you pick. Why would you pick that running back? Are you fucking stupid and dumb and ugly?

[Paige]

Wow. Are you going to know how to parent your kid? You can't even parent this team. Who's putting you in charge of anything, babe? I love Taylor and Burbanks.

[Hannah]

I love the Taylors. I want them to adopt me. The Taylors are like, taylor Shreker is why I got into podcasting. So anyway. And Taylor, Donna, you edited Burning in Hell for, like, three years.

[Paige]

No way.

[Hannah]

People don't know that. She likes to be behind the scenes, but I just put her on blast on my podcast.

[Paige]

So is your team overall doing well?

[Hannah]

You know who's also in my league? Andrew Collin, who's.

[Paige]

Last year, I said, like, I was gonna do this league with you. Like, just.

[Hannah]

Is that my fault?

[Paige]

Like, I forgot.

[Hannah]

I forgot.

[Paige]

No, I thought of it, like, when everyone was like, oh, I have my fantasy draft next week. And I had a moment where I was like, should I do it with Hannah?

[Hannah]

It takes zero effort.

[Paige]

Well, then I remembered that, like, I really don't care.

[Hannah]

Yeah, but you'd be so surprised. It's like the girls who go on the Bachelor who were like, this guy is ugly. I don't care. And then you see, like, eight girls get worked up about him and Sud, like, if he doesn't want to marry me, I'll.

[Paige]

Like, it would go one of two ways for me. I'd either be, like, so into it and competitive and be, like, refreshing all the time, or I lose one. Like a Tamagotchi, and I'd forget I had it.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And be like, my Tamagotchi.

[Hannah]

The thing is, you get, like, notifications, okay? So it's basically me just Feeding my high for temporary happiness. So, like, if a guy gets a touchdown, it's like you just got 12 points. And every week it's. It's all luck.

[Paige]

What do you win at the end?

[Hannah]

Some money. But it's not about the money. It's about the love of the game. And it's about telling your. No, no, no. But, like, when you. When I, like, Andrew Collin had a better draft than me, and he was all like. That's how he talks.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And I'm like, I'm ready to play him. You are, Andrew. I'm coming for you.

[Paige]

You were really close to winning last year, right?

[Hannah]

I was close to winning.

[Paige]

I remember that.

[Hannah]

But thanks for bringing that up, because guess what close to winning is. It means you're a fucking loser. But it's. It's really like yelling at guys for, like, spraining an ankle. Like, if a guy sprains an ankle, he, like, ruins your score. And I'm like, look where you're walking, bro.

[Paige]

Yeah, I get that. Speaking of.

[Hannah]

No, the Chiefs are. Are. The Chiefs lost their first two games, which is kind of crazy.

[Paige]

Wait, did you see Taylor Swift had to walk in with, like.

[Hannah]

She, like, walked into the game behind the thing.

[Paige]

Bulletproof. Something like walk behind something. I don't know.

[Hannah]

Very scary.

[Paige]

Very scary.

[Hannah]

Did no one was able to see her in the stadium?

[Paige]

I don't think so.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Can I say something controversial?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

There's a girl on TikTok, because I'm back on TikTok, who shaved her head but didn't, like, ask her husband for permission.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

And then he saw it and said, I'm not attracted to you. You have to wear wigs around me. And the Internet is a gasp. And, like, I'm be honest. It's giving GI Jane chic. When a girl shaves her head, it's not even about whether you look good or bad. It's like the confidence you exude. It's clearly a look.

[Paige]

Maybe ask your wife if everything's okay rather than just hitting her with, like, don't speak to me.

[Hannah]

No. He's literally like, don't speak to me. I'm not attracted to you. And marriage is about attraction. And it's like this.

[Paige]

I bring up the word bangs, and you're immediately like. And is everything okay at home?

[Hannah]

Yes. Yes. I mean, so everyone's mad being like, fuck this guy. But, yeah, I think the first sign was not that he isn't talking to her. I think it's that she thought about shaving her head. It's not that shaving her head's a bad thing. But when you want to make a drastic change to your hair, normally it means you want a drastic change in your life.

[Paige]

Yeah, like, something's going on.

[Hannah]

I think she hates it.

[Paige]

He just proved, he proved that they.

[Hannah]

Don'T like each other if you are staying with someone. Look, I've had so many boyfriends that walk in with the dumbest haircut. Where I look at them and I'm like, the fact that I'm associated with you pains me right now. But then you take a breath and you go, it'll grow out. We're good.

[Paige]

I think there's a lot of times on TikTok, like, where girls will post something about their relationship or, like, their boyfriend will literally be in like the back of the tick tock. But he's not like, like smiling ear to ear. People are like, he hates you. And it's like, he probably doesn't. He's like, doing it. But then there are times where it's so apparent where it's like, you gotta get out of that relationship. My thing where I always, I feel like, notice it is. And only because I had a boyfriend once who, like, was obsessed with talking about this and I was like, you have like, mental issues if you want to shove cake in your wife's face. I. I think that you are one of.

[Hannah]

You hate women. You hate women.

[Paige]

Yeah. You are on a misogynistic level that you actually don't even realize.

[Hannah]

Are you talking like, wedding day?

[Paige]

Yes. Like, I had a boyfriend who would actively. I'm not kidding. Argue with me that if he, if I didn't let him smush cake in my face on the wedding day, that, like, I wasn't fine.

[Hannah]

But that's not even a thing. Like, I was like, but that's not in the Bible.

[Paige]

But, like, why would you ever want to take your.

[Hannah]

I've never said anything that you need to. You're supposed to feed it to each other.

[Paige]

Leave the cake out of it. Why would you ever want to take your hand and smush it into my face like that? On an aggressive level?

[Hannah]

No. Also, you're ruining the glam.

[Paige]

Also the day I have glam. We're only here so that I can get the shot.

[Hannah]

I want my husband to barely kiss my lips because he knows that he doesn't want to mess it up. Like, give me an air kiss. Kiss. Give me an air kiss. Wait. The smashing of the face. That's not funny.

[Paige]

And so that's something that I always had, like, such a visceral reaction to, like. Whenever I see that on TikTok, where, like, they put cake in each other's mouths, I'm like, no, I don't like it.

[Hannah]

No, not at all. This one thing, if, like, the two of them are like, we're so.

[Paige]

We're quirky. Yeah. We're doing it at the same time. Open your mouth. Guys that are, like, smushing it, and she's backing up.

[Hannah]

Do you know what it feels like? It feels like they're doing it for.

[Paige]

Their boys, which is exactly what it is. We've waited long enough. We have to bring up Charlie Sheen. No, I've. I've been trying to watch it for the past three nights because I get falling asleep.

[Hannah]

How are you falling asleep during that? I know I was getting jolted, like. But I literally clutched my pearls. And I've seen a lot in this life.

[Paige]

So many.

[Hannah]

I was aghast. I was going, no.

[Paige]

There were so many things that I was just. If you haven't watched it, it's phenomenal. First thing I want to point out, the editing of it.

[Hannah]

Spectacular.

[Paige]

Spectacular. The cinematography. Spectacular.

[Hannah]

I liked how it felt like you were, like, on a.

[Paige]

Put anyone in a diner chatting, they're.

[Hannah]

Gonna give it up. That's why put people in diners, suddenly they lose all privacy. Yeah. And they're just like, let me try it out. That was my biggest note about it, is this man did not have to.

[Paige]

Say, you couldn't water some of that info out.

[Hannah]

He did not have to say. Like, he could have said 10% of what he said, and I would have been like, that's a great documentary about Charlie Sheen. Yeah. At one point, you could see they were like, hey, we're done, Charlie. And he's like, what were they? And I'm gonna give you guys an example. This doesn't give anything away. He tells a story about being really high on set, that his eyes were really heavy, and that finally the director, like, noticed enough to pull him aside and was like, you look like you're falling asleep during your scene. So he. So I think he's gonna say, I'm gonna do Snort some cocaine.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

As one would do. So. As Charlie Sheen would do, he goes, I go get some ice. Shove it up my butthole.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And he says this deadpan and goes back.

[Paige]

He was telling the craziest stories, but he was telling it to you as if he was like, I just went down to the deli, got us a couple sodas, and they're in the Kitchen, do you want one? Like is how he was like, I took an ice cube, shoved it up my asshole. Won an Oscar, as you do.

[Hannah]

Yes. And then. Sorry, I didn't mean to squeeze, but I'm feeling emojis. Sean Penn, who, by the way, I've never even seen him give an interview before. Shows going on.

[Paige]

Something was going on there.

[Hannah]

He was either he had something on him. He lost a bet. Sean Penn, like, Oscar winning actor is just like, like, Can I say one of his quotes? He goes, you know, most guys, when they do cocaine, their dicks get weak. Imagine doing cocaine and your dick gets stronger. That's Charlie Sheen. The way I just said, what eroticness.

[Paige]

Of this documentary was so phenomenal. But also I took away a couple top tier things. One, Charlie Sheen has a phenomenal family. Sounds like his dad and his brothers. Great humans. Two, where's the mom? Why didn't they bring up the mom? Didn't even. Was there a mom?

[Hannah]

Well, that's what happens when the mom is not.

[Paige]

Where is she?

[Hannah]

Where is she kidnapped?

[Paige]

What is she doing in hiding?

[Hannah]

Witness protection. I literally googled Chaosin's mom and she exists, but not one part of the document. But. And it's.

[Paige]

Maybe she's just, just so private.

[Hannah]

But like, that's crazy. When you're married, your whole family is in the public eye.

[Paige]

I wanted the dad to be on more and I wanted the brother to be on more and I wanted his kids on more.

[Hannah]

Okay, you sound like a producer. Calm down. She's like, I want his first child. He's in. I want his HIV test.

[Paige]

Denise still loves him because. And you want to know what? I love Denise. I do not fault her for a single second because when she tells the story of them meeting and hanging out. Yeah, he was sober. He was a normal person. And she probably still loves that version.

[Hannah]

I don't remember fully from watching Beverly Hills, but she drops the F bomb.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Every three seconds in the best way.

[Paige]

Yeah. No, I, I'm a big Denise Richards fan.

[Hannah]

They did her so wrong on that show, by the way. I. They should have treated her with care and respect so that she had a long career on that show.

[Paige]

Well, you want to know what? They were all jealous of her because she was. Was a genuinely famous person and the.

[Hannah]

Most beautiful woman to ever live and then come.

[Paige]

She was a sex symbol and was coming on the show and they all wanted to be.

[Hannah]

And that's why she should have been protected, to not make her look crazy when she was getting attacked. But the thing with the dad and the brothers.

[Paige]

And she was remarried to, like, a freak psycho.

[Hannah]

Is she still with him?

[Paige]

No, they're getting a divorce. Thank God.

[Hannah]

Oh, yeah. He was like.

[Paige]

He was like a weird.

[Hannah]

Very strange.

[Paige]

Very strange.

[Hannah]

He was just like, big jawline. That was just a jawline marriage.

[Paige]

Strange man. Yes.

[Hannah]

Stranger man. So Charlie Sheen goes, my brother and my dad did not want to be in the documentary. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't want you to say that.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

If they didn't want to be associated with it. But I totally get that. They've probably been through so much and.

[Paige]

They'Re just like, I don't want to add to it his whole life, but.

[Hannah]

It is a case of nepotism for sure. However, he's kind of a genius.

[Paige]

Well, I was going to say, my other big takeaway is how many chances do men get?

[Hannah]

How many?

[Paige]

God. I mean, this man ruined his life more times than he was successful. And every time, the general public and tv, he was in rehab being like, having his agent being like, you can do any movie you want. They'll have you. Like, if that was a woman or any other person.

[Hannah]

The crazy story, which I was surprised he said was about him and Nicolas Cage, which, by the way, I didn't know Nicolas Cage was, like, the biggest party boy.

[Paige]

Do you think Nicolas Cage is somewhere.

[Hannah]

Being like, oh, send me a text first. Nicolas Cage just did not agree to be in that. The stories he told about Nicolas Cage, it made me.

[Paige]

This is sick. But it made me like Nicolas Cage more.

[Hannah]

Well, you know, I'm like, oh, his brain's burnt.

[Paige]

Oh, I didn't realize you were that much of the, Like, a freak.

[Hannah]

So they go on an airplane, Nicholas Cage takes the mic and, like, tells them, like, going down. They're going down. Which, by the way, where's the bit? Where's the bit in that? So everyone freaks out when they land. There's cops. And Charlie goes, well, good thing they were a fan.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And they were just like, don't do that again. Imagine if a female celebrity did that.

[Paige]

No. Imagine if anyone did that. Like, if any other person did that. Like, no, it's crazy.

[Hannah]

And then when he got to rehab, how they let him leave, Nicholas Cage texts him and says, hey, there's a bikini judging contest in Palm Springs. And he goes, so I had to go to that.

[Paige]

He was like, hold on, let me get out of this rehab thing.

[Hannah]

And Nicholas Cage, he told the lady, if I'm not back by 8am, I'll give you a million dollars. And he got back by 7:40.

[Paige]

I just think it's a great documentary. And the last thing that I took away from it, push a man and he'll turn gay. They all have the capacity to go to the other side. And I know that the way he.

[Hannah]

Described it was actually so iconic. He goes, you ever just eat from the same menu every day? And then one day you're like, let's flip it to the other side. And the guy goes, do you regret it? And he goes, no, I wanted to taste the menu from the other side. But he didn't, like, say he was.

[Paige]

But he basically said that happened from. Because of. Because he was getting off of crack. And so that, like, felt good for whatever reason. And that's the first time it ever happened. So he probably did so many drugs, his whole brain was, like, rewired. And I know some that don't need crack.

[Hannah]

But it's also funny because he wasn't like, oh, I had to suck a guy's dick to, like, like, get the water for the fire festival. Like, there was no threatening involved. He was like, I wanted you guys, I wanted to do it. Which, by the way, the way he said it, though, was so eloquent.

[Paige]

He had it. Jenna say Guam.

[Hannah]

I was like, yeah, I think he's bi. And, like, more men should be able.

[Paige]

I mean, I'm part of the problem. I'm obsessed with him now. Like, I will give him another chance. I think he should get back to acting. Here's actually. No, he should. Actually shouldn't get back to acting. Here's one thing that no one said, like, the entire time. I don't think his problem really was. I mean, he obviously had a lot of problems.

[Hannah]

He never got to the root of it.

[Paige]

He couldn't be famous. It was the fame. It wasn't like the working. It wasn't the movies. It wasn't like he had to get up early and memorize these lines. He could obviously do that so easily. It was genuinely the fame. He probably had so many people watching everything he did, talking about everything he did, wanted to see, like, and it got too much. And no one.

[Hannah]

But I also think people always say, like, okay, if you problem with alcohol, they're all ways of coping with the bigger problems, but they never. They kind of made his childhood seem, like, pretty good. I mean, yeah, his childhood seemed fine. His dad was an addict too, and was going through stuff. But yeah, the way his family stood by him to this day.

[Paige]

To this day.

[Hannah]

And also him even Though he is a good example of like, you can fuck up so many times and as a man, Hollywood will take you back, but in terms of your relationships, like you can rebuild, you can try to rebuild. And he, even though he wasn't there for his daughter, is now taking that time.

[Paige]

No, it was a really good documentary.

[Hannah]

I have to say one thing about that made me reflect on society a little. When he.

[Paige]

I never get serious. Okay.

[Hannah]

No, but like when he.

[Paige]

You're never serious on the bot. Yeah, we are.

[Hannah]

Who ask him to be serious. Cause the second I am, people are like, I'm here for laughter. Make me laugh, clown. I will. So he's like on crazy testosterone. He's addicted to like every drug. Yeah. And he goes on his like hashtag winning.

[Paige]

Which I like forgot about that.

[Hannah]

I remember it pretty clearly because everyone he's going, you were in like college, we were young. But he's doing all these like crazy interviews, saying like, like the craziest thing. Cuz he's like so crazy on testosterone. He's like, I got tiger blood.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And the way people responded was like.

[Paige]

This guy, put him on tour is awesome.

[Hannah]

People were like, he's saying all the things that we all want to say.

[Paige]

Put him in theaters, give him a marquee.

[Hannah]

So when you see a very loud crazy man, it doesn't always mean he's right.

[Paige]

No, it is crazy. I wish they did dive into like the team that was around him at that time, like signing him up to sell tickets to shows and like 60.

[Hannah]

Days in a row. That's when he started doing anal.

[Paige]

So would I. So would I.

[Hannah]

Have we thought about it?

[Paige]

You know what? Now I gotta. You need somebody to take that job.

[Hannah]

And then we were in Denver and I took a beta blocker, I just shoved it up my butt and I went on stage. The gigglers, they become desensitized. They have to go, oh God. I do have to say, I did have a woman stop me at the airport and said, hi, I have a 21 year old daughter and I love what you guys do to help, to help her be confident in herself. So don't listen to that part. Now I'm like aware 21 year olds are listening because look, they keep us young. Oh, there is a good show out called Revenge Love Con Revenge on Netflix, which is from the girl who was swindled by the Tinder swindler, okay. Who's made her whole purpose in life to help find other men who are conning women.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

So it's kind of like like, she's.

[Paige]

Like, almost like a private investigator.

[Hannah]

Well, she gets this private investigator, and what I'm obsessed with is, it's a woman. So this woman goes, I'm like a dog with a bone. I will stop at nothing.

[Paige]

I want to hire a private investigator so badly.

[Hannah]

You want.

[Paige]

And I'm like, I don't know what.

[Hannah]

I want you to look into. You're like, but I need to find something.

[Paige]

No, I like. I want some. I want to be like, just look into it.

[Hannah]

I just feel like something needs to be undercovered. You want to be sitting in a van with shades on?

[Paige]

No, I want to be, like, walking down the street and my private investigator call and be like, I got something. And be like, I'll be right over. Why do I want that so badly?

[Hannah]

And you want her to print out photos and put it in an envelope and hand it to you, and you go, thank you. Thought so.

[Paige]

I'd be like, thank you. I'm sending it to my lawyer. And then, like, my expert witness is just this gorgeous private investigator.

[Hannah]

Next time you tell me that you can't record in studio because you have a uti, I'm gonna get my private investigator and be like, she's actually. She's at home and Albany, and her mom's feeding her lasagna. Do you know lasagna soup is a thing for fall?

[Paige]

I have seen it. I've never had it. That's.

[Hannah]

It's kind of giving just like, soggy lasagna.

[Paige]

I'm not gonna lie. I had the best lasagna I've ever had in Tuscany the other weekend. Do you want to know why it was so much better?

[Hannah]

Because it's in Tuscany.

[Paige]

But they, like, burnt it a little. Like, it was crispy. Like, it actually tasted like second day lasagna, which I like.

[Hannah]

Also. I want the bottom too. I want.

[Paige]

The whole thing was crispy, and I was like, you guys crush it.

[Hannah]

Here I go.

[Paige]

Big fan of your work. No, they're right about you guys. Like, you're crushing you look.

[Hannah]

You go, how's your Italian food? So good.

[Paige]

All I think about anytime I go to a different country is, do you guys ever crave sushi? Do the Italians ever think, like, you know what? All I want is some fucking hibachi.

[Hannah]

Is there no sushi there?

[Paige]

I mean, I don't know. Probably not a lot. I'm sure there was, like, one or two. But, like, you. You're never in Italy, and you see, like, tacos goes. And I'm like, wait, I want them to experience it more.

[Hannah]

But you know what? I feel like. Cause the Italian's so good. They're like, why would we have.

[Paige]

Like, I know. But I'm like, don't you get sick of it? Don't they get sick of it?

[Hannah]

No, because that's what they know. That's who they are. Like, imagine if you never tried Diet Coke. You wouldn't crave it. Or normal coke.

[Paige]

Stop.

[Hannah]

You wouldn't even know. No, it's like Charlie Sheen with heroin. Yeah.

[Paige]

How about, it was a girl that got him into it that I didn't see coming. A girlfriend.

[Hannah]

Which I don't like to blame. The woman. The woman. And I would say, like, he knew what he was getting into.

[Paige]

I've never been offered heroin.

[Hannah]

I've never been offered cocaine.

[Paige]

You're a loser.

[Hannah]

No. I've had multiple conversations where I'm like, why don't they like me? And they're like, you don't do cocaine. And I was like, how can they tell? People can tell. They could smell it.

[Paige]

People just know.

[Hannah]

They just know. No, I've never been offered. I mean, look, I know people who know people.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Who know a guy.

[Paige]

Yeah. For sure.

[Hannah]

So watch out. Do you think Charlie Sheen is gonna have, like, a. A Pam Anderson revival of his career?

[Paige]

I don't know. I think this was more like, I have to make amends. It's been so many years now. Let me tell you what happened back then. It's taken me this long to kind of get over it. Are you staring at my nails?

[Hannah]

Well, no, you were just like. Your long fingers were, like, in my face, so I had nowhere else to look. I was saying. Or do you think he just needed money? Cause I don't.

[Paige]

Probably a little bit of both.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But also, here's what I'm thinking. He did have Martin Sheena as his dad. I'm sure he had a lot of money set up that he couldn't touch at all. I don't know if he went through all of it. I didn't realize he was number one back then.

[Hannah]

They didn't have brand deals back then.

[Paige]

Right. But he was the highest paid TV actor ever.

[Hannah]

Well, he said he ran out of his money.

[Paige]

Oh, he did?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

He's making 2 million an episode.

[Hannah]

I know. I know.

[Paige]

But no, the Charlie Sheen lore I'm just, like, obsessed with.

[Hannah]

Especially if he was overwhelmed by all the fame and stuff, and things started to go well, I wouldn't be like, you know what I should do? Do a NETFLIX documentary right now.

[Paige]

Anyway, it's a really good documentary.

[Hannah]

It's a really good documentary. You guys gotta watch it. Thank you for giggling with us. I am in Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia Norfolk, Virginia this weekend and I have San Diego, a second show added and Vegas and Phoenix. Love you guys. Thank you for giggling. Talk later. Bye. Trimble is the technology company that connects your physical and digital world so industries like transportation and geospatial can get hard.

[Paige]

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[Hannah]

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[Paige]

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[Hannah]

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[Paige]

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[Hannah]

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[Paige]

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[Hannah]

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[Paige]

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