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Hannah
A real Lemonade Pet insurance review by.
Paige
Madison H. You know, I thought it was a little ridiculous to get pet insurance, but I really didn't want to not take my little kitten to the vet because of money. In the last eight months, I've taken him in six times because of ear infections and saved literally hundreds of dollars. He may even need to get surgery. And I couldn't consider it without Lemonade's help. I recommend Lemonade to all my friends constantly. And now I'm recommending it to you.
Hannah
Check it out@lemonade.com pet.
Paige
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Hannah
Manifest that shit.
Paige
We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.
Hannah
Hello, my Guggenheim gigglers.
Paige
Yeah, we're cultured.
Hannah
You knew I was gonna say that. It's DJ Dachshund and DJ Dachshund here.
Paige
To party whenever I come to do the podcast. You live on the Lower east side. I am put together like a Lower east side outfit.
Hannah
You love dressing for the part. You love being like, oh, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch.
Paige
I wake up thinking I'm a Barbie. I'm like, what is my profession today? What is my vibe? What is my outfit?
Hannah
You're a Lower east cool girl. I love how you brought in and.
Paige
Chris was like, what's the pant situation? Never seen that before. Is that a scarf? Is that a one piece? He was very intrigued.
Hannah
I was very curious. I feel like Chris has learned. So like, Chris has been to Giggly Squad University and like you're. You've almost graduated. Not yet, just a couple. I don't think you ever graduated. No, it's a multi level marketing student.
Paige
I recently met people that know Chris like on their own accord.
Hannah
Oh, I didn't know he had other friends.
Paige
Highly of him.
Hannah
Really?
Paige
I didn't know he did things outside of this room.
Hannah
Room.
Paige
I thought he lived here the whole time.
Hannah
Yeah, I thought he just waited for us with his legs swinging like, excited for us to come in.
Paige
They're gonna come back next Monday.
Hannah
Side note, I was trying on sunglasses today because you just brought sunglasses. And I put them on. They were, like, kind of big. And Grace looks at me and goes, it's giving Kate plus eight. When I tell you, wait my. She read me to fill.
Paige
Switching all. Yeah.
Hannah
Do you want to know why? Because you've been socializing all weekend while I was alone in a hotel room.
Paige
Sending me copy copious voice messages.
Hannah
And guess what? I was sending them because I wanted the tea. You're out in New York City, running around. I'm alone in a hotel room in Buffalo, which shout out to Buffalo, but.
Paige
I'm clearly calling Boston.
Hannah
Who told you that? Who told you that? No, you guys. My worst nightmare happened this week. I was going through a lot this weekend alone, and I'm sending.
Paige
I got so many DMs. Hannah just called all of us Boston, but we're actually in Buffalo. Ha ha, ha, ha, ha. Miss you.
Hannah
Okay, I wasn't going to start with this, but here we are. I was peeing as one does.
Paige
You look so pretty today. I love when you give, like, old money. I love when you wear designer.
Hannah
You know, we haven't been in the studio. Whenever we're in the studio, we want to make out like we love each other. And then on zoom, I'm like, we. What do you want? What do you want from me? So I'm peeing before my show. Now, the way my shows work is I have an opener. Caroline Banowitz, who's amazing, and she does this song about dick pics as her finale song. Okay, so once the dick pic song goes. I know. Like, okay, be ready.
Paige
I haven't gotten a dick pic in years.
Hannah
That's why we're at peace.
Paige
No, truly.
Hannah
And then when people show me other their dick pics that are being sent to them, that's, like, more abrasive.
Paige
One time I had. This is so bad. One time I had a boyfriend and we literally broke up because he couldn't stop sending dick pics to other people.
Hannah
I thought you were gonna say you. That got so much sadder.
Paige
I was like, you really have to stop.
Hannah
Wait. And he's like. But I'm not, like, saying anything.
Paige
He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. He was like a classic. Like, you didn't see that. And I'm like, I literally experienced it with my own body. And he was like, no, you didn't.
Hannah
He's like, I've never been on a date with them. I don't tell them I like them. I just.
Paige
What are you talking about?
Hannah
You didn't share the. Share the art of my shaft. I heard guys use 0.5 now. Anyway, so I'm like peeing and there was a photographer there. And we start yapping normally I'm like, alone in my green room. Yeah, cuz you're not there. And it's just my opener on stage. And I'm like, ready? So I'm yappy, yappy, yakim, yapping, yakking. Suddenly I hear the crowd start clapping and I go, oh my God, I'm on. But I haven't been like, like, like, I don't know, like ready mentally. So I'm like frantic. And I like. In these theaters, I had to like run down a hallway.
Paige
No one came and got you?
Hannah
No, not all the theaters are that organized.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
It's really a lot. Like there's one thing happening there, it's.
Paige
You going on stage.
Hannah
What do you mean? Because I think we weren't like that far.
Paige
They're only there for you.
Hannah
But I also think they're like, hannah, you have one reason to be here, so you should be ready to go see my eye.
Paige
The other one went, we don't know. I don't know what's going on.
Hannah
Don't look directly at me. So I like sprint down the hallway. It wasn't that long of a hallway. And I get on perfect timing. And I look at her and I can tell. Caroline can't tell. Because to leave your opener without you coming on is not okay. That's super embarrassing. Where they're like, okay, where is she? Once I got stuck in the elevator. But otherwise I'm really fucking good at being prepared for it because that's the only reason I was there, right? So I get on stage and I was not giving myself excuses, but I was a little bit thrown. I was a little frantic. I was feeling anxious and I grabbed the mic and you hear the energy and. And I just go, what the fuck is up, Boston? And as I'm saying it, I realize, okay, there's two ways to go about this. I could just hope that they didn't hear that. Yep. I could just continue on like nothing happened and gaslight them to think they heard it in their head.
Paige
They're now in Boston.
Hannah
But yeah, we're in Boston. Or I say what we're all thinking, which is, I just called all you guys Boston. So obviously I went with the latter. And I was like, yeah, I am so sorry. And. But also Buffalo, by the way, is the most. Like, they are a tiny town that has their own football team. Like, they are the most proud town in all of probably the country.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
So the fact I said, hello, Boston. I could have gotten stoned.
Paige
They live through full on tundras.
Hannah
Yep.
Paige
And they don't complain at all.
Hannah
Nope. They're just sweet.
Paige
They live in Alaska and they don't care and they're pro and they're happy about it. And they're like, we see the sun for 48 hours once a year and we're good.
Hannah
I thought upstate was Westchester growing up. Turns out it's not. It's Buffalo.
Paige
No, it's really not.
Hannah
And so in that moment, I like you. For the next, like, five minutes, I'm doing, like, the beginning of my show and I'm just repeating it in my head. Like, was it as bad as. Yeah, that was really bad.
Paige
I couldn't believe people were coming to tell me. They were like, oh, my God, you gotta hear this.
Hannah
I know. You're like, hannah's so stupid. You're front rowed Fashion week. And people are like, your friend is so fucking dumb. But the best was when I got off stage, the messages were so funny. They go, boston loves you. Thank you so much for coming to Boston.
Paige
We do love Boston.
Hannah
Best show ever.
Paige
I have done a show in Buffalo.
Hannah
You have to. It was incredible. But it was like 1700 girls all messaging me, making fun of me.
Paige
How'd you get there?
Hannah
I had to actually fly to Rochester, and then we drove because I had a show in Rochester the night before. Anyway, meanwhile, I'm struggling and I'm sending you some stuff. And if I see photos of you, I need a story.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And you know how we got there? Who you saw, whatever. And she's not giving me anything. So I started making up voice notes. I was like, hey, I got to tell you about something.
Paige
Hannah sent me some the most incredible voice notes this weekend. And here's the thing.
Hannah
Couldn't tell you what they're about.
Paige
No, I couldn't either now. But at the time, I was like, oh, my God. Like, I saw them come in and I did. Wait, this is the funniest thing. I'm at a shoot all day Friday. I'm with Tresemme. We're doing stuff all day. I get two voice notes from you back to back, two double two minuters. I'm like, oh, my God, let's freaking go now with the update of the phone, you know how you can click See Seymour, and it's, like, written out.
Hannah
Oh, yeah.
Paige
So I'm, like, around people, so I'm not, like, just gonna play your voice.
Hannah
Go ahead. You want to hear what Hannah's saying?
Paige
That would be a death sentence. Who knows what could be?
Hannah
No, I'd never work in this town again.
Paige
So I'm like. I click it and I'm reading it, and someone comes from over my shoulder, and they're like, oh, my God, what is that? And, like, first of all, hipaa.
Hannah
No, that is such a hipaa.
Paige
I'm like, second of all, let a girl get a voice note from her friend and know that it's not appropriate to listen to you right now in this moment. But I couldn't. I had to know what the gist was.
Hannah
This is. The problem with being friends with a public figure is that she's either locked away in the safest, most private place where she can be, like, blasting your voice notes, or she's surrounded by a full team of 12 people and everyone who's ever worked in Hollywood. So you just have to pray. I don't remember what I said, but it was literally to be, like. You respond to be like, these are the best voice messages I've ever heard. And I go, okay, that was. I want you to respond with a voicemail.
Paige
I know, but I didn't have the time. And honestly, I didn't even have. I didn't have any good gossip to give you. But what people don't talk enough about with voice notes, like, when you're like, I know when you're about to start laughing about something, because I.
Hannah
So listening.
Paige
To a voice note, like, just know when you're recording it. I'm laughing at the same time. Okay. And I think that's important for you.
Hannah
To know that, like, warmed my heart.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Also, I have a paranoia that I'm gonna be, like, really good, like, two minutes into a voice note and then fuck up, like, two and a half minutes in. And, like, I'm a performer. Like, I don't like. You're fine with the coughing. I don't like too much. But you are a cougher. You're an adult.
Paige
Well, you should hear, like, when I send ads to Grace, I'm like, also you. I'm like, sorry, I need a minute.
Hannah
When you record the ads, not to. You know how the sausage is made? You press record, and then you record, like, all the ads. I have to record it one by one because I'm convinced I'm gonna, like, knock over my recording yeah, I'm on.
Paige
There for like 25 minutes.
Hannah
My voicemail.
Paige
I feel like Grace has heard me on the phone with my mom, but I stop and do like my own thing. You just therapy.
Hannah
You go, wait, my therapist is on the line.
Paige
There has been times where I'll go on Instagram for like five minutes and I'll be like, oh, shit, I'm doing ads. Like Grace, sorry, God forbid you, like.
Hannah
Just send her two files or more than one file.
Paige
I don't want her to have to open that much.
Hannah
Okay.
Paige
You know, I want her to get one email.
Hannah
My thing with the voice notes, I'd rather send like ten one minute voice notes than one ten minute one because I think it's easier to consume. But that's just my process.
Paige
I have a girlfriend who we don't speak often. Like, we speak quarterly. Honestly. We catch up and then we move about our lives.
Hannah
Q3 is when we follow up.
Paige
A couple days ago, this bitch sent me a 15 minute voice note. I mean, the updates were completely necessary. I literally got an update on her entire summer.
Hannah
Wait, that's a standing ovation at the concert.
Paige
I literally did that at the film festival. I set it down and I was like, you're getting like, I'm folding.
Hannah
I'm like, but doesn't the phone sometimes stop playing it because the phone goes to sleep?
Paige
Yeah. And I have to like, no, it's a whole thing.
Hannah
Was it better than mine?
Paige
No, it was more informational. I'll say.
Hannah
Which honestly, valid.
Paige
Definitely more factual. It wasn't as opinion based.
Hannah
Definitely cohesive. Definitely full sentences were formed. We have so much to talk about. Shall I begin with. Oh, no, you have. It's coming to you.
Paige
I shall begin.
Hannah
Yes, I shall.
Paige
The floor is yours.
Hannah
Yours.
Paige
Stupid stuff. Wait, not right now. We're not talking about this right now. But I watched the Charlie Sheen documentary because I knew you were going to talk about it. So in a later, at a later time, we'll dive into it. But I just want you to know, going into it, I've seen it, clock it.
Hannah
Okay. That's made me very excited. This is a voice note from Paige, by the way. She coughs, she tells you what she's going to talk about, then forgets what she was going to talk talk about.
Paige
A couple weeks ago, I get a message, a DM from Morgan Stewart, who.
Hannah
Is Lord our savior.
Paige
You know, the best thing about my assistant is she's so Gen Z that like, I bring up Morgan Stewart at least once a week. Like I'm referencing Her. And every single time I say, she goes, who? And I go, honestly? No. Keep me young. Thank you. I get a DM from Morgan Stewart and I'm like, my life is made. We start, like, chit chatting, whatever. And then she goes, I'm having a dinner during Fashion Week, but not like a Fashion week dinner. And I. I totally knew what she meant by that. And I was like, of course.
Hannah
For people that don't know. Can you explain?
Paige
Like, she was having a Fashion week dinner, but she was having a Morgan Stewart, she wanted to hang dinner. She wasn't having, like, a branded in your face. Yeah, like drapes. She didn't have drapes and candles.
Hannah
She's not having fluorescent lighting.
Paige
She didn't have any fluorescent lighting.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
She obviously had a photographer.
Hannah
Yes.
Paige
But, like, it was very. Grab your skinny margarita, take a seat, give two pieces of gossip, and then move along. So I had never met her before in person.
Hannah
I didn't know that.
Paige
Yeah. So I didn't, like, know what to expect. First of all, walk up to the restaurant. So chic. Not a sign in sight. Could have literally been walking into a dentist office. They're like, private room is upstairs. So New York, this French restaurant, it was called. I think it was called Le Vu. I was just like, yeah, Blair Waldorf, like, goes here. So I walk in, she's the first person I see. We hug. We immediately start talking about glam. So I'm like, no, I'm home.
Hannah
Were you nervous?
Paige
I was very nervous, but I wasn't nervous enough to take a beta blocker because I was like, no. I manifested this.
Hannah
This is like this was gonna happen. We knew it.
Paige
Yeah, it was.
Hannah
We prepared.
Paige
She literally just had her friends at dinner. It was me, Tinks, this girl Sarah, Ariel, Charnas were like, the only people that I feel like I knew from Instagram. Everyone else, I was like, oh, that's your best friend.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
So it was like a fun, funny dinner.
Hannah
Sounds like a bachelorette party.
Paige
I had two cocktails, which I never do.
Hannah
That means you were in a good mood.
Paige
I will say I was the first person to leave. I didn't even have that struck 10. 15. I was like, I'm literally. I melt at 10, so I have to scrap.
Hannah
I live on the Upper west side, which is basically Europe, so I have to go now.
Paige
Here's the other thing.
Hannah
You had to beat the traffic.
Paige
Dinner was on. The dinner was uptown, and that's how I knew. I was like, I'm in the right.
Hannah
Place at the right time, right place.
Paige
At the right time. All the kids are downtown. They're doing their thing. They're walking the punk way.
Hannah
Being punks.
Paige
They're being literal punks. Okay? And I'm up to uptown at a Mommy and Me, and then I'm going home.
Hannah
I was uptown too, but I was in Boston.
Paige
But she was the best. It was like, just a chic, cute dinner.
Hannah
I love belt.
Paige
We all got a belt, and it was, like, amazing.
Hannah
People don't talk about belts enough. No, belts are never in the conversation. Then one day you wake up and you go, oh, no. This outfit needs a belt, and you don't have one.
Paige
Yep, I hoard belts.
Hannah
Actually, speaking of accessories, I have a hot take as someone who's. I don't know if it's because I'm anxious or possibly ADHD or just. I get overwhelmed easily. I can't do bracelets. There's too much. What's it called, sensory overload. When I wear a bracelet, I'm like. I walk into a room and I'm like, I'm wearing your bracelet. I try talking. I'm like, are you looking at my bracelet?
Paige
Or the girls that wear the same necklaces every single day. And my thought is, are you showering in them?
Hannah
Yes, you are.
Paige
Are you sleeping in them?
Hannah
Yeah, you are.
Paige
Because that would. We are not really jewelry gals.
Hannah
No. Like, when I got engaged, I was like, cool. I don't wear rings, you guys. I don't wear my wedding ring.
Paige
Well, I don't want it.
Hannah
I don't want my wedding ring. I don't wear my wedding ring because I started getting rashes. I don't even know why. And people will be like, are you not married?
Paige
Eczema? Or like. It was like.
Hannah
I think it's. Cause when I wash my hands in so many different states. Sorry. I'm traveling a lot when I'm in Boston versus Buffalo.
Paige
Wait, are you gonna blame, like, a water issue?
Hannah
Yeah, the water's different. And I think I also don't dry my hands to the point every time. And it starts. It starts getting red. Like, I get a rash. So I don't wear my wedding ring. No one needs two rings on the finger. No one needs to. Prison. It's a prison. And then when I wear. If you wear. God forbid, I wear a bangle, I'm like, I can't focus on this conversation because my bangle's moving.
Paige
When I see the girls wearing, like, the hand chains.
Hannah
My friend Madison plays tennis in her body chain.
Paige
I'm like, I don't Know how they're doing it.
Hannah
Not to call her out, but it's like. It's. It's like girls who wear sweaters that are itchy just for fun. Like, I think bracelets. Or the girls who have stacked bracelets.
Paige
No, I can't.
Hannah
I could do that maybe for a look.
Paige
I can't even. We are. We wear studs. Like, I love stacking jewelry and wearing a bunch of bracelets and wearing a.
Hannah
Bunch of rings for 30 minutes, but.
Paige
Then when I get home, get it. Get it off.
Hannah
Also when you can't get a bracelet off, Nothing more humbling.
Paige
One of my friends had a bracelet on. I'm not kidding. For, like, four months. And she was like, well, because I couldn't get it off. If the moment I knew I couldn't get it off, that's the moment I have to take pliers, because I'm not gonna live in my own prison that I've created. I'd start having a literal panic and then get it off.
Hannah
Also, I am wearing a ring right now that's, like, huge, and I love it, but it's the only thing I'm gonna think about this whole pod.
Paige
I know for a fact that you're cleaning out your apartment right now, and these are all items that you've recently found that you forgot. And you put it all together today, and you were like, wait, cool outfit. Forgot I had it. I know that's what happened because never have I once seen you walk in with earrings and a ring and, like, also a fit that I haven't seen in a while.
Hannah
Now that I'm fully exposed, I feel.
Paige
Naked on this one.
Hannah
I saw Jacqueline, our nail girl. After a full summer not seeing her, I opened the door, and she was like, funny singing here. I said, jacqueline, do you know we talk about you on the podcast every single week? And she was like, yeah, it's really funny. And I was like, come in. And then I said, jacqueline, I need natural.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And then she went, arguably too natural, because I said, jacqueline, you can give me, like, fake long ones. And she goes, no, you just cut it off. So I lost privileges with her.
Paige
She goes, I didn't even know Jacqueline could demote you.
Hannah
No, she demoted me. Like, she tried with me. Yeah. And is over my shit. And she said, I'm keeping your nubs nubby. And this is what you get sometimes.
Paige
Jacqueline will give me an option. She'll give me two options. Right.
Hannah
But which I love.
Paige
I feel like she's secretly testing me because I know that she likes one of the options more. And so sometimes I'll say one and she'll look at me and I'll go the other one.
Hannah
She doesn't say yes. She'll just nod and look back down. And I'm like, I'm sorry. So scared right now. But also, I did. I haven't cut cut them, but maybe I did once and she hasn't forgiven me. But Jacqueline's back in my life.
Paige
Good.
Hannah
You guys know we hate admin at Giggly Squad. And that's why we love Square. Today's episode's brought to you by Square. It's smart, streamlined tools that make running your business simple. I want to announce that I am doing merch on my standup tour and I'm using Square for a lot of the transactions. Let's be honest, I never have cash on me. I will always pick the wrong credit card. I never know what to use. So when a coffee shop just has a simple square for me to do a nice tap, the world makes sense again. There's no learning curve, no tech headaches, just intuitive design for business owners and for the people buying stuff. Easy to use from day one. From cafes to salons to retail shops to food trucks, Square has a setup that fits your business and plans. Our listeners get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up@square.com comm. Visit today and discover how Square can transform your business. Some local sellers that use Square in the Lower east side where I live and love is Little Canal Van Leeuwen ice cream, which is so good in the East Village and Cafe Divinion. Oh my God, they have the best bread. Definitely Go Square keeps up so you don't have to slow down. Get everything you need to run and grow your business without any long term commitments. And why wait? Right now you can get up to 200 off Square hardware at square.go giggly. That's S Q-U-A-R E.com go giggly. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.
Paige
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Hannah
I also hung out with Vampire Weekend. They're a band. Chris knows them. Chris knows them.
Paige
How old are you?
Hannah
Into the city? About down.
Paige
Do they have another ballad of some sort? I'm not. I'm not. That one's not clicking.
Hannah
These guys, like, they're just in a band. And this.
Paige
What is it? Vampire.
Hannah
What Weekend? They're very like. They popped off 10 years ago. Okay. So I was like, how's Tor guys? They really good.
Paige
Where'd you meet them?
Hannah
At the airport. Because they. There's a girl in their band who's also a comedian, who's like a genius and also does violin. Isabel.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
And she's.
Paige
This is the most ADHD conversation I feel like I've ever been a part of.
Hannah
Anyway, I thought you were going to know Vampire Weekend is. But because, you know.
Paige
Do you even know me? Does that sound like something I. The fuck.
Hannah
That is Nelly. And I'm like, no.
Paige
Either you're talking about Vampire Diaries and you're going to bring up that the star of Vampire Diaries just broke up with her.
Hannah
Shall we talk about Nina?
Paige
Shall we?
Hannah
She's having so much fun on Instagram.
Paige
The rumor is that he cheated on her.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
Then she did a TikTok that was.
Hannah
Like, like iconic, kind of basically like confirming it. You.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
I think they were engaged for like five years. I'm gonna be honest, I never saw them together.
Hannah
Yeah. This is.
Paige
And look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot girl. Oh, my God. Sometimes. I'm a huge fan of that.
Hannah
I didn't want to say it, but.
Paige
But they were taking it to the limit, that one.
Hannah
This is the thing. There are handsome gingers out there.
Paige
100%.
Hannah
And there are talented gingers out there. And there are kind gingers out there. Yeah. This one in particular, I think it's giving. She gave him too much confidence.
Paige
She made him cool. That's what it is.
Hannah
Snowboarders need to calm down. Like, as a former skier when I was skiing, everyone was so polite. So excuse me, whatever. Then I'd fucking die.
Paige
I almost got murdered.
Hannah
No, they come. They're all. They literally are.
Paige
Like a group of 14 year olds. Drunk snowboarders.
Hannah
No. Like, they rob you and Then they steal your glasses, and then you're scared and freezing, and then they give you the finger as they go down every time. I don't trust a snowboarder. I don't like that.
Paige
They literally take my glasses, slap them back at me, give me the finger, ski down, and, like, take all the hot chocolate. I don't know.
Hannah
No, like, they get off on scaring people. They're like those kids on Halloween that, like, throw eggs with Nair in them. Like, those are snowboarders.
Paige
Is that a thing?
Hannah
Oh, my God. In the city? Yeah.
Paige
Oh, my God, that's intense.
Hannah
Okay, so shout out to Nina. We love you.
Paige
Wow. Your list is.
Hannah
My list is crazy. Oh, can we bring back a saying? Yeah, can we please start saying that shit's whack? Like, can we say whack at least?
Paige
I feel like.
Hannah
Like, that's so whack.
Paige
So whack.
Hannah
I don't know. As I said out loud.
Paige
No, I feel like I've said it recently.
Hannah
Wack. Like, whack was my everything. Everything was like. It's whack.
Paige
It's funny because on TikTok, there's a lot of Gen Z people making videos of, like, four millennials. Like, hey, here's things we don't say anymore. Here's things like that, like, you said, that means the same thing here. Whack is such a great word to describe anything say, I think feel the same way with swag.
Hannah
Oh, yeah.
Paige
Thank God for Justin Bieber.
Hannah
Thank tgif.
Paige
What happened? Tgif? And not to bring up Topanga, she's on Dancing with the Stars this year.
Hannah
Can I make an announcement? Yeah. I think I'm gonna watch Dancing with the Stars this year. Really? I've never watched it.
Paige
I've never watched it either. You're just, like, feeling. Are you feeling like old school reality tv? Did you have. I was like, is that you're trying to get into, like, competition?
Hannah
No, it's more like, first of all, my TikTok is just full of all of them. And then I realized they all do, like, incredible TikToks.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
There's a Gen Z that works at Dancing with the Stars because these. No offense, but these guys are dancing, like, training intensely. They're not also coming up with, like, incredible TikTok strategies. Yeah. The social media team is killing it. So every day I'm like, I'm.
Paige
That's the only reason I knew anything that was going on with Brooks and Gleb. Like, I didn't watch this show.
Hannah
I think I might Watch it. Cause there's also like more people that I like kind of know. Sometimes I feel like it used to be they just get like people who were on a TV show like 20 years ago. Yeah. Or like an athlete that like broke his ACL and is like, doesn't know what to do.
Paige
I love a like former athlete coming back to do something.
Hannah
Yeah. And you're like, he has seen your passion, but he's figuring it out. Yeah. So like, I think I might watch it. Okay. And this is coming from.
Paige
I might watch. It's so crazy because I might watch the Bachelorette this year.
Hannah
Oh, well, that is. That is another level of time consuming.
Paige
Oh.
Hannah
Because of Taylor, Frankie, Paul. Oh, that's.
Paige
Wait. Okay.
Hannah
Both Mormon. Both Mormon.
Paige
I've been getting a lot of like nostalgia videos I want to bring back shopping from a catalog. Like, I like, obviously it's being taken over by shopping online, but like, do you remember being young and your mom getting like the Victoria's Secret catalog and going through and like circling like different things and then she'd physically call and order what she had to get.
Hannah
She was like, number 8, 7, 4, 3, 2. Like I would fuck that up.
Paige
Like the women in step. Just thinking about there was like a group of women ready to receive these.
Hannah
Phone calls from a group of women.
Paige
Who are at home being like, okay, number eight.
Hannah
This was an underground economy that people didn't know of.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
But it was crazy about those magazines is it was used two ways. It was girls like us being like, mom, I really want this like crop top.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And then just like men jerking off to it.
Paige
Oh, I didn't even think of that.
Hannah
They didn't have like.
Paige
That's disgusting.
Hannah
Men didn't have porn back then. They had to like find magazines and. Or they had. Yeah, they had to like draw it. Men would draw boobs and jerk off to it from memory.
Paige
Why? I guess that never crossed my mind that like a 13 year old boy back then, like getting pumped for their mom to get like the summer Victoria's Secret catalog.
Hannah
I was like going to look at it and I'm like, why is it crispy? Why are the pages crispy? Daniel?
Paige
That's so vile.
Hannah
So vile. I also had a friend who got in trouble cause he was printing out a photo of boobs or a photo of a woman and his mom caught him mid print. Like, what are you doing with this? He got in big trouble.
Paige
One time I was at my friend's house in seventh grade and we were playing in her basement and we Found all of her dad's dirty magazines. Aw. And I was just like, wait, what? Also, wow, that made my eye twitch.
Hannah
This is TMI, but my brother was, like, 13 or 14, and he went to camp, and my parents got a call and they were freaking out. They were like, we have to tell you something. In his cabin, one of the boys brought disturbing material that he may or may not have seen. And my parents were like, what did he see? Like, they really got scared. And they were like, it was a photo of girls in bikinis. And my dad was like, okay, can you bring it back?
Paige
But I guess, like, they send a picture. Let me see.
Hannah
No, let me see what?
Paige
Let me see what he said.
Hannah
Also, he saw it. They're like, he may or may not have seen a kid brought that in. But anyway, that was, like, what men were busy doing instead of learning about consent. Do you think purple lettuce thinks it's better than other lettuces? Let us eye.
Paige
Yes. Because when I'm eating purple lettuce or.
Hannah
A colored carrot, you stop and you go, you're gorgeous.
Paige
If I have a tricolored carrot on my plate.
Hannah
Your tax bracket has changed.
Paige
My tax bracket has changed. I know more languages than you do.
Hannah
Like, yeah, I feel like the purple lettuce knows. And it's always curly in a way where it's just, like, you could put it on a dress and it always comes out of nowhere. You're gnawing on your rabbit food, and then you're like, who is she?
Paige
Are you just talking about cabbage?
Hannah
I don't know enough about the lettuce species to be able to. What is the purple? I don't. Look, I'm starting this new thing. I tried to eat salads last week. It didn't work.
Paige
Wait, I texted Grace, like, recently, and she was like, sorry, Hannah's, like, not responding because she's in a Pilates class. And I was just like, what?
Hannah
I'm trying to be healthy before I go on tour. Before I go on tour.
Paige
Oh, did you. Are you sticking to the rule on tour where there's no eating after at 11:00pm no. Oh, you haven't stuck to it? Funny, because last year we had to stick to it.
Hannah
Yep.
Paige
Because, well, last year you tried to put me in a caloric deficit and I was famished. This year, you're willy nilly just ordering whatever. Don't know what town you're even in. You're so stuffed.
Hannah
I did get a really good Mexican bowl on Saturday.
Paige
Wait, the other day, Hannah sent me.
Hannah
I was eating my feelings. After I embarrassed myself in front of all the girls at Buffalo, Hannah sent.
Paige
Me and Grace, like, in our group chat, a picture of her, like, being out to brunch by herself. Honestly, it was such a, like, mom text. Like, you know, like, when your mom's somewhere with your dad? Like, we just. Like, we're at brunch, and it's just like, the table.
Hannah
It's like, okay, but is dad there? You're so right. You're so valid. I could have taken a cuter photo, but I was texting you guys and then just pulled a photo that I took on my own randomly. It wasn't aesthetic, and it wasn't cool.
Paige
But just from the photo, I could tell that whatever town you were in, you found the most amazing diner. A couple key things I could tell from an amazing diner. The wooden table. Like, a good wooden table, they mean business when the condiments are already on.
Hannah
The table because they know you're about to go in. Yep.
Paige
So when you have ketchup, salt, pepper, they even have their napkins in there.
Hannah
Spicy stuff. Also, when you order, you don't order anything. You just say, fuck me up, fam. Also, do you know how you know it's gonna be fucking good? When the utensils are wrapped in a paper napkin? Like, they're not just sitting on a napkin.
Paige
Don't give me a cloth.
Hannah
Not a cloth. But also, I don't want just a napkin sitting. I want it like they had. They're going so fast that they're just.
Paige
Have you ever seen someone wrapping those up and then put the thing.
Hannah
No. Is it like people doing Domino's boxes?
Paige
No, it's like, they can go so fast.
Hannah
Also, this place, it was in San Francisco, they also had juices, which, like.
Paige
Also, I want a plastic water cup.
Hannah
And I want it to be so abnormally big. Like, there's no way I could finish.
Paige
And discolored.
Hannah
Discolored. Cloudy. And yeah, I got pancakes for the table. And by the table, I met my table.
Paige
Yeah. My God, my eyes, like, really twitching.
Hannah
There's, like, pop culture stuff going on that I want to bring up.
Paige
Okay. Hilary Duff getting back in the studio. Well, you want. I don't want to. I don't want to bring up an old rivalry, but I would say we are watching Lindsay live her best life. Look phenomenal. She just did Freaky Friday. They had. They had, like, redone Mean Girls. She went to the premiere. She's just like. She's on every cover. She looks phenomenal. People are like, she has her own.
Hannah
She has Verizon ads.
Paige
She lives her life in Dubai. She's a mom. No one was bringing up Hilary Duff. And I think maybe she's going to have a resurgence because of that.
Hannah
Not to pit women against women, but I think maybe there was some inspiration.
Paige
Certainly not pitting women against women, although I just did. But I do find it ironic that, like, they did have, like, a beat beef back then and now, like, they're both.
Hannah
I'm so sad for that.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
The millennials are excited. Grace, do you, like, remember Hilary Duff at all? Yes. Yeah. What do you remember, like, Cadet Kelly. Cadet Kelly. Okay. Yeah.
Paige
Like Lizzie McGuire.
Hannah
Lizzie McGuire. Okay.
Paige
I feel like I loved Cadet Kelly.
Hannah
Loved. I. But I, like, loved Impossible more so you. I also did, like, all the Disney double team movies. Whenever there was, like, a sport and the girl came in, I was like.
Paige
See, I loved, like, Lindsay Lohan. Clue. Like, gotta get a clue. Like, she was in. She was wearing cool outfits.
Hannah
Yeah. Yeah.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
Anyhow, another pop culture topic, Nev, from the catfishing show is now.
Paige
Is it Neve?
Hannah
Neve. Yeah, it's Neve. Is it Neeve?
Paige
I think he goes by both.
Hannah
Cause Neeve, I think he's not picky. Neeve is also an Irish name spelled N, A, I, M, G, PH or something.
Paige
I want to say it's Neve, but.
Hannah
Okay. Could be.
Paige
Who am I?
Hannah
Neve, Buffalo, Boston. He is in real estate now. He just announced very casually, like, on a city bike. He's like, if anyone needs help with their homes, I'm selling real estate.
Paige
Wait, what happened to Catfish?
Hannah
I think it's done.
Paige
It's done.
Hannah
Yeah, but maybe he always had a passion for homes. Like, maybe the whole time he didn't really care about.
Paige
You know what we say about real estate. No one going to.
Hannah
You're in a dark place, wakes up.
Paige
And says, I'll be a real estate agent today. That's going to NFL players who are one bad day away from really losing it. They gotta buy a building or something.
Hannah
For people who are, like, people. People, like, like, talking to people. And they have, like, connections in the industry. It could help.
Paige
I'm actually not gonna knock it because.
Hannah
We support men in the arts.
Paige
No, I support having, like, a normal job. He spends so the. So much of his life being a TV host and, like, being in the public.
Hannah
Do you know how he got famous?
Paige
He was.
Hannah
He got catfished and did a documentary.
Paige
Yeah. So I feel like the last 20 years he's been in, he probably Wants something that's like a little more structured. Maybe like he's not really traveling that much. It's like chill. People know him. People would like walk in and see a familiar face and probably like want him to be his real estate agent just because of that.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
Honestly, I take back everything.
Hannah
If anyone needs an apartment. You know what?
Paige
I'm moving you.
Hannah
Be such you. There's another life where you live like in Kansas and you are the it girl of real estate. Like every single bench in that town has my pants. And you're wearing a power suit. The best like no one's ever seen. Your glam is incredible. No one's ever seen you without full glam.
Paige
They call me Penthouse page and there's.
Hannah
No penthouses in Kansas.
Paige
That's really sexual. Actually.
Hannah
That's.
Paige
That actually sounds like my only fans page. I take that back. Back Parkway P. No, not. Still not good.
Hannah
And you don't actually make eye contact with any of your clients.
Paige
But I've thought about real estate and you know what knocks me down every time I'm not doing math in my adult age. I've moved on. I'm past that.
Hannah
Do you have to do math?
Paige
You have to know square footage and stuff. And like you have to know like there is numbers. And I'm like, actually no.
Hannah
Did you watch Selling Sunset?
Paige
Not really. I like don't like. If I'm watching a real estate show, it's because I genuinely want to see the houses in the real estate. Like I do find that interesting. I don't care about like the real estate agent drama.
Hannah
It was a lot of like them getting out of the Yukon SUV slowly so they could see.
Paige
It's a lot of arrivals and departures.
Hannah
A lot of arrivals and leaving.
Paige
There's nothing Netflix reality shows love more.
Hannah
Than arrivals and a non copyrighted music background.
Paige
A strut.
Hannah
She's.
Paige
She's a sexy one.
Hannah
Yeah. She sex sexy.
Paige
No. Netflix will get hard for a slow strut.
Hannah
Yes, it really does. Or it's not slow, but they go slow mo.
Paige
Yeah. If you're looking for the perfect stackable rings, I feel like I'm always on the hunt for like a really good stack of mini cute rings. Then Majori is the place to go. I actually just. Just got this gold and silver. It's kind of like intertwined ring because I feel like so many people are like, you're either gold or you're either silver. But sometimes I need to be both because I can't make up my mind. Missouri is created for women by women and majority is breaking down barriers in what has been a long, exclusive and occasional category of men buying jewelry for women. I love gifting myself especially jewelry, and Maggiore has all price points. There's clearly a reason it's one of the most loved jewelry brands out there because it really does have everything you're looking for. I also love stacking my earrings. I have three holes in each ear, so I love buying cute little things that go with whatever look I'm doing that day. So start stacking your favorites and shop online or visit maguri.com to find a store near you. I use heat every day of my life and I've tried so so many heat protectants. None of them felt like they were making a difference for my damaged hair until I tried K18's new heat bounce Conditioning Heat Protectant. Instead of just coating the hair like traditional heat protectants, patented tech fortifies hair from the Inside out for 85% less breakage after blow drying Heat Bounce delivers deeper heat protection than ever before, so I can go from a bouncy, shiny blowout to a sleek ponytail without worrying about damage. Plus, my hair is getting stronger with continued use. Shop Heat Bounce at Sephora or use code giggly for 10% off your first order at k18hair.com that's code giggly hair.com.
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Hannah
Did I talk too much? Did I just let it go?
Paige
Take a breath. You're not alone. Let's talk about what's going on. Counseling helps you sort through the noise with qualified professionals and online therapy makes it convenient. See if it's for you, visit betterhelp.com for 10% off your first month of online therapy and let life feel better. How's your fantasy football team doing?
Hannah
Thank you for bringing that up. We're not done with, like, this weekend of playing, but I played Taylor Strecker's wife, who's pregnant, and I beat that bitch. I said, oh, you're her mono. You beat the grand baby.
Paige
Look, come and losers lose. What do we decide to Donahue?
Hannah
Like, look, come for the beast. You're gonna get eaten. That's what they say. Like, big dog gotta eat.
Paige
She's like, I'm literally just trying to.
Hannah
Like, she's also like, I don't even want to play in this league. I'm texting her.
Paige
I thought it was something fun. Means.
Hannah
I literally texted her, like, the mom from that documentary. I'm like, you stupid bitch. Why would you pick. Why would you pick that running back? Are you fucking stupid and dumb and ugly?
Paige
Wow. Are you going to know how to parent your kid? You can't even parent this team. Who's putting you in charge of anything, babe? I love Taylor and Burbanks.
Hannah
I love the Taylors. I want them to adopt me. The Taylors are like, taylor Shreker is why I got into podcasting. So anyway. And Taylor, Donna, you edited Burning in Hell for, like, three years.
Paige
No way.
Hannah
People don't know that. She likes to be behind the scenes, but I just put her on blast on my podcast.
Paige
So is your team overall doing well?
Hannah
You know who's also in my league? Andrew Collin, who's.
Paige
Last year, I said, like, I was gonna do this league with you. Like, just.
Hannah
Is that my fault?
Paige
Like, I forgot.
Hannah
I forgot.
Paige
No, I thought of it, like, when everyone was like, oh, I have my fantasy draft next week. And I had a moment where I was like, should I do it with Hannah?
Hannah
It takes zero effort.
Paige
Well, then I remembered that, like, I really don't care.
Hannah
Yeah, but you'd be so surprised. It's like the girls who go on the Bachelor who were like, this guy is ugly. I don't care. And then you see, like, eight girls get worked up about him and Sud, like, if he doesn't want to marry me, I'll.
Paige
Like, it would go one of two ways for me. I'd either be, like, so into it and competitive and be, like, refreshing all the time, or I lose one. Like a Tamagotchi, and I'd forget I had it.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
And be like, my Tamagotchi.
Hannah
The thing is, you get, like, notifications, okay? So it's basically me just Feeding my high for temporary happiness. So, like, if a guy gets a touchdown, it's like you just got 12 points. And every week it's. It's all luck.
Paige
What do you win at the end?
Hannah
Some money. But it's not about the money. It's about the love of the game. And it's about telling your. No, no, no. But, like, when you. When I, like, Andrew Collin had a better draft than me, and he was all like. That's how he talks.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And I'm like, I'm ready to play him. You are, Andrew. I'm coming for you.
Paige
You were really close to winning last year, right?
Hannah
I was close to winning.
Paige
I remember that.
Hannah
But thanks for bringing that up, because guess what close to winning is. It means you're a fucking loser. But it's. It's really like yelling at guys for, like, spraining an ankle. Like, if a guy sprains an ankle, he, like, ruins your score. And I'm like, look where you're walking, bro.
Paige
Yeah, I get that. Speaking of.
Hannah
No, the Chiefs are. Are. The Chiefs lost their first two games, which is kind of crazy.
Paige
Wait, did you see Taylor Swift had to walk in with, like.
Hannah
She, like, walked into the game behind the thing.
Paige
Bulletproof. Something like walk behind something. I don't know.
Hannah
Very scary.
Paige
Very scary.
Hannah
Did no one was able to see her in the stadium?
Paige
I don't think so.
Hannah
Yeah. Can I say something controversial?
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
There's a girl on TikTok, because I'm back on TikTok, who shaved her head but didn't, like, ask her husband for permission.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
And then he saw it and said, I'm not attracted to you. You have to wear wigs around me. And the Internet is a gasp. And, like, I'm be honest. It's giving GI Jane chic. When a girl shaves her head, it's not even about whether you look good or bad. It's like the confidence you exude. It's clearly a look.
Paige
Maybe ask your wife if everything's okay rather than just hitting her with, like, don't speak to me.
Hannah
No. He's literally like, don't speak to me. I'm not attracted to you. And marriage is about attraction. And it's like this.
Paige
I bring up the word bangs, and you're immediately like. And is everything okay at home?
Hannah
Yes. Yes. I mean, so everyone's mad being like, fuck this guy. But, yeah, I think the first sign was not that he isn't talking to her. I think it's that she thought about shaving her head. It's not that shaving her head's a bad thing. But when you want to make a drastic change to your hair, normally it means you want a drastic change in your life.
Paige
Yeah, like, something's going on.
Hannah
I think she hates it.
Paige
He just proved, he proved that they.
Hannah
Don'T like each other if you are staying with someone. Look, I've had so many boyfriends that walk in with the dumbest haircut. Where I look at them and I'm like, the fact that I'm associated with you pains me right now. But then you take a breath and you go, it'll grow out. We're good.
Paige
I think there's a lot of times on TikTok, like, where girls will post something about their relationship or, like, their boyfriend will literally be in like the back of the tick tock. But he's not like, like smiling ear to ear. People are like, he hates you. And it's like, he probably doesn't. He's like, doing it. But then there are times where it's so apparent where it's like, you gotta get out of that relationship. My thing where I always, I feel like, notice it is. And only because I had a boyfriend once who, like, was obsessed with talking about this and I was like, you have like, mental issues if you want to shove cake in your wife's face. I. I think that you are one of.
Hannah
You hate women. You hate women.
Paige
Yeah. You are on a misogynistic level that you actually don't even realize.
Hannah
Are you talking like, wedding day?
Paige
Yes. Like, I had a boyfriend who would actively. I'm not kidding. Argue with me that if he, if I didn't let him smush cake in my face on the wedding day, that, like, I wasn't fine.
Hannah
But that's not even a thing. Like, I was like, but that's not in the Bible.
Paige
But, like, why would you ever want to take your.
Hannah
I've never said anything that you need to. You're supposed to feed it to each other.
Paige
Leave the cake out of it. Why would you ever want to take your hand and smush it into my face like that? On an aggressive level?
Hannah
No. Also, you're ruining the glam.
Paige
Also the day I have glam. We're only here so that I can get the shot.
Hannah
I want my husband to barely kiss my lips because he knows that he doesn't want to mess it up. Like, give me an air kiss. Kiss. Give me an air kiss. Wait. The smashing of the face. That's not funny.
Paige
And so that's something that I always had, like, such a visceral reaction to, like. Whenever I see that on TikTok, where, like, they put cake in each other's mouths, I'm like, no, I don't like it.
Hannah
No, not at all. This one thing, if, like, the two of them are like, we're so.
Paige
We're quirky. Yeah. We're doing it at the same time. Open your mouth. Guys that are, like, smushing it, and she's backing up.
Hannah
Do you know what it feels like? It feels like they're doing it for.
Paige
Their boys, which is exactly what it is. We've waited long enough. We have to bring up Charlie Sheen. No, I've. I've been trying to watch it for the past three nights because I get falling asleep.
Hannah
How are you falling asleep during that? I know I was getting jolted, like. But I literally clutched my pearls. And I've seen a lot in this life.
Paige
So many.
Hannah
I was aghast. I was going, no.
Paige
There were so many things that I was just. If you haven't watched it, it's phenomenal. First thing I want to point out, the editing of it.
Hannah
Spectacular.
Paige
Spectacular. The cinematography. Spectacular.
Hannah
I liked how it felt like you were, like, on a.
Paige
Put anyone in a diner chatting, they're.
Hannah
Gonna give it up. That's why put people in diners, suddenly they lose all privacy. Yeah. And they're just like, let me try it out. That was my biggest note about it, is this man did not have to.
Paige
Say, you couldn't water some of that info out.
Hannah
He did not have to say. Like, he could have said 10% of what he said, and I would have been like, that's a great documentary about Charlie Sheen. Yeah. At one point, you could see they were like, hey, we're done, Charlie. And he's like, what were they? And I'm gonna give you guys an example. This doesn't give anything away. He tells a story about being really high on set, that his eyes were really heavy, and that finally the director, like, noticed enough to pull him aside and was like, you look like you're falling asleep during your scene. So he. So I think he's gonna say, I'm gonna do Snort some cocaine.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
As one would do. So. As Charlie Sheen would do, he goes, I go get some ice. Shove it up my butthole.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And he says this deadpan and goes back.
Paige
He was telling the craziest stories, but he was telling it to you as if he was like, I just went down to the deli, got us a couple sodas, and they're in the Kitchen, do you want one? Like is how he was like, I took an ice cube, shoved it up my asshole. Won an Oscar, as you do.
Hannah
Yes. And then. Sorry, I didn't mean to squeeze, but I'm feeling emojis. Sean Penn, who, by the way, I've never even seen him give an interview before. Shows going on.
Paige
Something was going on there.
Hannah
He was either he had something on him. He lost a bet. Sean Penn, like, Oscar winning actor is just like, like, Can I say one of his quotes? He goes, you know, most guys, when they do cocaine, their dicks get weak. Imagine doing cocaine and your dick gets stronger. That's Charlie Sheen. The way I just said, what eroticness.
Paige
Of this documentary was so phenomenal. But also I took away a couple top tier things. One, Charlie Sheen has a phenomenal family. Sounds like his dad and his brothers. Great humans. Two, where's the mom? Why didn't they bring up the mom? Didn't even. Was there a mom?
Hannah
Well, that's what happens when the mom is not.
Paige
Where is she?
Hannah
Where is she kidnapped?
Paige
What is she doing in hiding?
Hannah
Witness protection. I literally googled Chaosin's mom and she exists, but not one part of the document. But. And it's.
Paige
Maybe she's just, just so private.
Hannah
But like, that's crazy. When you're married, your whole family is in the public eye.
Paige
I wanted the dad to be on more and I wanted the brother to be on more and I wanted his kids on more.
Hannah
Okay, you sound like a producer. Calm down. She's like, I want his first child. He's in. I want his HIV test.
Paige
Denise still loves him because. And you want to know what? I love Denise. I do not fault her for a single second because when she tells the story of them meeting and hanging out. Yeah, he was sober. He was a normal person. And she probably still loves that version.
Hannah
I don't remember fully from watching Beverly Hills, but she drops the F bomb.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Every three seconds in the best way.
Paige
Yeah. No, I, I'm a big Denise Richards fan.
Hannah
They did her so wrong on that show, by the way. I. They should have treated her with care and respect so that she had a long career on that show.
Paige
Well, you want to know what? They were all jealous of her because she was. Was a genuinely famous person and the.
Hannah
Most beautiful woman to ever live and then come.
Paige
She was a sex symbol and was coming on the show and they all wanted to be.
Hannah
And that's why she should have been protected, to not make her look crazy when she was getting attacked. But the thing with the dad and the brothers.
Paige
And she was remarried to, like, a freak psycho.
Hannah
Is she still with him?
Paige
No, they're getting a divorce. Thank God.
Hannah
Oh, yeah. He was like.
Paige
He was like a weird.
Hannah
Very strange.
Paige
Very strange.
Hannah
He was just like, big jawline. That was just a jawline marriage.
Paige
Strange man. Yes.
Hannah
Stranger man. So Charlie Sheen goes, my brother and my dad did not want to be in the documentary. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't want you to say that.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
If they didn't want to be associated with it. But I totally get that. They've probably been through so much and.
Paige
They'Re just like, I don't want to add to it his whole life, but.
Hannah
It is a case of nepotism for sure. However, he's kind of a genius.
Paige
Well, I was going to say, my other big takeaway is how many chances do men get?
Hannah
How many?
Paige
God. I mean, this man ruined his life more times than he was successful. And every time, the general public and tv, he was in rehab being like, having his agent being like, you can do any movie you want. They'll have you. Like, if that was a woman or any other person.
Hannah
The crazy story, which I was surprised he said was about him and Nicolas Cage, which, by the way, I didn't know Nicolas Cage was, like, the biggest party boy.
Paige
Do you think Nicolas Cage is somewhere.
Hannah
Being like, oh, send me a text first. Nicolas Cage just did not agree to be in that. The stories he told about Nicolas Cage, it made me.
Paige
This is sick. But it made me like Nicolas Cage more.
Hannah
Well, you know, I'm like, oh, his brain's burnt.
Paige
Oh, I didn't realize you were that much of the, Like, a freak.
Hannah
So they go on an airplane, Nicholas Cage takes the mic and, like, tells them, like, going down. They're going down. Which, by the way, where's the bit? Where's the bit in that? So everyone freaks out when they land. There's cops. And Charlie goes, well, good thing they were a fan.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And they were just like, don't do that again. Imagine if a female celebrity did that.
Paige
No. Imagine if anyone did that. Like, if any other person did that. Like, no, it's crazy.
Hannah
And then when he got to rehab, how they let him leave, Nicholas Cage texts him and says, hey, there's a bikini judging contest in Palm Springs. And he goes, so I had to go to that.
Paige
He was like, hold on, let me get out of this rehab thing.
Hannah
And Nicholas Cage, he told the lady, if I'm not back by 8am, I'll give you a million dollars. And he got back by 7:40.
Paige
I just think it's a great documentary. And the last thing that I took away from it, push a man and he'll turn gay. They all have the capacity to go to the other side. And I know that the way he.
Hannah
Described it was actually so iconic. He goes, you ever just eat from the same menu every day? And then one day you're like, let's flip it to the other side. And the guy goes, do you regret it? And he goes, no, I wanted to taste the menu from the other side. But he didn't, like, say he was.
Paige
But he basically said that happened from. Because of. Because he was getting off of crack. And so that, like, felt good for whatever reason. And that's the first time it ever happened. So he probably did so many drugs, his whole brain was, like, rewired. And I know some that don't need crack.
Hannah
But it's also funny because he wasn't like, oh, I had to suck a guy's dick to, like, like, get the water for the fire festival. Like, there was no threatening involved. He was like, I wanted you guys, I wanted to do it. Which, by the way, the way he said it, though, was so eloquent.
Paige
He had it. Jenna say Guam.
Hannah
I was like, yeah, I think he's bi. And, like, more men should be able.
Paige
I mean, I'm part of the problem. I'm obsessed with him now. Like, I will give him another chance. I think he should get back to acting. Here's actually. No, he should. Actually shouldn't get back to acting. Here's one thing that no one said, like, the entire time. I don't think his problem really was. I mean, he obviously had a lot of problems.
Hannah
He never got to the root of it.
Paige
He couldn't be famous. It was the fame. It wasn't like the working. It wasn't the movies. It wasn't like he had to get up early and memorize these lines. He could obviously do that so easily. It was genuinely the fame. He probably had so many people watching everything he did, talking about everything he did, wanted to see, like, and it got too much. And no one.
Hannah
But I also think people always say, like, okay, if you problem with alcohol, they're all ways of coping with the bigger problems, but they never. They kind of made his childhood seem, like, pretty good. I mean, yeah, his childhood seemed fine. His dad was an addict too, and was going through stuff. But yeah, the way his family stood by him to this day.
Paige
To this day.
Hannah
And also him even Though he is a good example of like, you can fuck up so many times and as a man, Hollywood will take you back, but in terms of your relationships, like you can rebuild, you can try to rebuild. And he, even though he wasn't there for his daughter, is now taking that time.
Paige
No, it was a really good documentary.
Hannah
I have to say one thing about that made me reflect on society a little. When he.
Paige
I never get serious. Okay.
Hannah
No, but like when he.
Paige
You're never serious on the bot. Yeah, we are.
Hannah
Who ask him to be serious. Cause the second I am, people are like, I'm here for laughter. Make me laugh, clown. I will. So he's like on crazy testosterone. He's addicted to like every drug. Yeah. And he goes on his like hashtag winning.
Paige
Which I like forgot about that.
Hannah
I remember it pretty clearly because everyone he's going, you were in like college, we were young. But he's doing all these like crazy interviews, saying like, like the craziest thing. Cuz he's like so crazy on testosterone. He's like, I got tiger blood.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And the way people responded was like.
Paige
This guy, put him on tour is awesome.
Hannah
People were like, he's saying all the things that we all want to say.
Paige
Put him in theaters, give him a marquee.
Hannah
So when you see a very loud crazy man, it doesn't always mean he's right.
Paige
No, it is crazy. I wish they did dive into like the team that was around him at that time, like signing him up to sell tickets to shows and like 60.
Hannah
Days in a row. That's when he started doing anal.
Paige
So would I. So would I.
Hannah
Have we thought about it?
Paige
You know what? Now I gotta. You need somebody to take that job.
Hannah
And then we were in Denver and I took a beta blocker, I just shoved it up my butt and I went on stage. The gigglers, they become desensitized. They have to go, oh God. I do have to say, I did have a woman stop me at the airport and said, hi, I have a 21 year old daughter and I love what you guys do to help, to help her be confident in herself. So don't listen to that part. Now I'm like aware 21 year olds are listening because look, they keep us young. Oh, there is a good show out called Revenge Love Con Revenge on Netflix, which is from the girl who was swindled by the Tinder swindler, okay. Who's made her whole purpose in life to help find other men who are conning women.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
So it's kind of like like, she's.
Paige
Like, almost like a private investigator.
Hannah
Well, she gets this private investigator, and what I'm obsessed with is, it's a woman. So this woman goes, I'm like a dog with a bone. I will stop at nothing.
Paige
I want to hire a private investigator so badly.
Hannah
You want.
Paige
And I'm like, I don't know what.
Hannah
I want you to look into. You're like, but I need to find something.
Paige
No, I like. I want some. I want to be like, just look into it.
Hannah
I just feel like something needs to be undercovered. You want to be sitting in a van with shades on?
Paige
No, I want to be, like, walking down the street and my private investigator call and be like, I got something. And be like, I'll be right over. Why do I want that so badly?
Hannah
And you want her to print out photos and put it in an envelope and hand it to you, and you go, thank you. Thought so.
Paige
I'd be like, thank you. I'm sending it to my lawyer. And then, like, my expert witness is just this gorgeous private investigator.
Hannah
Next time you tell me that you can't record in studio because you have a uti, I'm gonna get my private investigator and be like, she's actually. She's at home and Albany, and her mom's feeding her lasagna. Do you know lasagna soup is a thing for fall?
Paige
I have seen it. I've never had it. That's.
Hannah
It's kind of giving just like, soggy lasagna.
Paige
I'm not gonna lie. I had the best lasagna I've ever had in Tuscany the other weekend. Do you want to know why it was so much better?
Hannah
Because it's in Tuscany.
Paige
But they, like, burnt it a little. Like, it was crispy. Like, it actually tasted like second day lasagna, which I like.
Hannah
Also. I want the bottom too. I want.
Paige
The whole thing was crispy, and I was like, you guys crush it.
Hannah
Here I go.
Paige
Big fan of your work. No, they're right about you guys. Like, you're crushing you look.
Hannah
You go, how's your Italian food? So good.
Paige
All I think about anytime I go to a different country is, do you guys ever crave sushi? Do the Italians ever think, like, you know what? All I want is some fucking hibachi.
Hannah
Is there no sushi there?
Paige
I mean, I don't know. Probably not a lot. I'm sure there was, like, one or two. But, like, you. You're never in Italy, and you see, like, tacos goes. And I'm like, wait, I want them to experience it more.
Hannah
But you know what? I feel like. Cause the Italian's so good. They're like, why would we have.
Paige
Like, I know. But I'm like, don't you get sick of it? Don't they get sick of it?
Hannah
No, because that's what they know. That's who they are. Like, imagine if you never tried Diet Coke. You wouldn't crave it. Or normal coke.
Paige
Stop.
Hannah
You wouldn't even know. No, it's like Charlie Sheen with heroin. Yeah.
Paige
How about, it was a girl that got him into it that I didn't see coming. A girlfriend.
Hannah
Which I don't like to blame. The woman. The woman. And I would say, like, he knew what he was getting into.
Paige
I've never been offered heroin.
Hannah
I've never been offered cocaine.
Paige
You're a loser.
Hannah
No. I've had multiple conversations where I'm like, why don't they like me? And they're like, you don't do cocaine. And I was like, how can they tell? People can tell. They could smell it.
Paige
People just know.
Hannah
They just know. No, I've never been offered. I mean, look, I know people who know people.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Who know a guy.
Paige
Yeah. For sure.
Hannah
So watch out. Do you think Charlie Sheen is gonna have, like, a. A Pam Anderson revival of his career?
Paige
I don't know. I think this was more like, I have to make amends. It's been so many years now. Let me tell you what happened back then. It's taken me this long to kind of get over it. Are you staring at my nails?
Hannah
Well, no, you were just like. Your long fingers were, like, in my face, so I had nowhere else to look. I was saying. Or do you think he just needed money? Cause I don't.
Paige
Probably a little bit of both.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
But also, here's what I'm thinking. He did have Martin Sheena as his dad. I'm sure he had a lot of money set up that he couldn't touch at all. I don't know if he went through all of it. I didn't realize he was number one back then.
Hannah
They didn't have brand deals back then.
Paige
Right. But he was the highest paid TV actor ever.
Hannah
Well, he said he ran out of his money.
Paige
Oh, he did?
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
He's making 2 million an episode.
Hannah
I know. I know.
Paige
But no, the Charlie Sheen lore I'm just, like, obsessed with.
Hannah
Especially if he was overwhelmed by all the fame and stuff, and things started to go well, I wouldn't be like, you know what I should do? Do a NETFLIX documentary right now.
Paige
Anyway, it's a really good documentary.
Hannah
It's a really good documentary. You guys gotta watch it. Thank you for giggling with us. I am in Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia Norfolk, Virginia this weekend and I have San Diego, a second show added and Vegas and Phoenix. Love you guys. Thank you for giggling. Talk later. Bye. Trimble is the technology company that connects your physical and digital world so industries like transportation and geospatial can get hard.
Paige
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Hannah
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Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Episode Date: September 16, 2025
This week, Giggly Squad’s Hannah and Paige giggle their way through conversations about fashion week dinners, accessory drama, wedding cake mishaps, pop culture throwbacks, and the wild saga of a new Charlie Sheen documentary. The duo leans into their blend of candid self-deprecation and humor, giving listeners a mix of personal stories, friendship vibes, and cheeky commentary.
Timestamps: 01:22–06:00
“You love dressing for the part… You love being like, oh, I'm downtown. I'm a whole new bitch.” —Hannah (01:40)
“My worst nightmare happened this week.” —Hannah (03:13)
Timestamps: 03:11–07:53
“I just go, what the fuck is up, Boston? And as I'm saying it, I realize… I could gaslight them and keep going, or admit it.” —Hannah (06:30)
Timestamps: 08:00–12:25
“This is the problem with being friends with a public figure…” —Hannah (09:34)
Timestamps: 13:14–16:16
“It was very, grab your skinny margarita, take a seat, give two pieces of gossip, and then move along.” —Paige (14:12)
Timestamps: 16:17–20:26
“I can't do bracelets. There's too much...It's sensory overload.” —Hannah (16:28)
Timestamps: 25:24–33:50
“Look, sometimes I like an ugly guy with a really hot girl, but they were taking it to the limit, that one.” —Paige (26:53)
Timestamps: 28:23–34:45
“Girls like us being like, Mom, I really want this crop top. And then just men jerking off to it.” —Hannah (31:49)
Timestamps: 35:01–37:14
“When you have ketchup, salt, pepper, they even have their napkins in there…they mean business.” —Paige (36:15)
Timestamps: 37:21–42:26
“He just announced very casually, like, on a city bike. He’s like, if anyone needs help with their homes, I'm selling real estate.” —Hannah (39:27)
Timestamps: 46:07–48:46
“Come for the beast, you're gonna get eaten. That's what they say. Big dog gotta eat.” —Hannah (46:29)
Timestamps: 49:31–52:39
“When you want to make a drastic change to your hair, normally it means you want a drastic change in your life.” —Hannah (50:17)
“You hate women.” —Hannah (51:34)
Timestamps: 53:04–62:26
“He did not have to say…10% of what he said, and I would have been like, that's a great documentary.” —Hannah (53:51)
“He couldn’t be famous. It was the fame…It wasn’t the movies… It got too much.” —Paige (61:25)
Timestamps: 64:49–67:10
For listeners who skipped the ads and just want the giggles, this summary brings all the best bits from Hannah and Paige’s latest freewheeling conversation.