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- [00:00]
A
Howdy, howdy ho, and welcome to Fantasy Fan. Fellas. I'm Hayden, producer of the Fantasy Fangirls
- [00:05]
B
podcast and your resident lover of all things Sanderson. And I'm Stephen, your bookish Internet goofball. But you can call me the Smash Daddy. And we are currently deep diving Brandon Sanderson's fantasy epic Mistborn.
- [00:16]
A
But here's the catch.
- [00:18]
B
Steven here has not read Mistborn before.
- [00:21]
C
That's right. Hey.
- [00:21]
D
Hey.
- [00:22]
B
So each week, you'll get my unfiltered raw reactions to every single chapter. And along the way, we'll do character deep dives, magic explainers, and Steven will
- [00:30]
A
even try to guess what's next.
- [00:31]
B
So, spoiler alert, he'll be wrong. Newsflash, I'm never wrong. Episodes come out every Wednesday, and you can find Fantasy Fanfellas wherever you get your podcasts.
- [00:41]
C
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
- [00:45]
B
Running a business means you're always reachable. Until you're not. And the moment you miss that call, a competitor picks it up. That's why this episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q U O. The business phone system. Built so you never miss an opportunity. All your calls, texts, and voicemails live in one place. Anyone on your team can pick up a conversation, see the full history, and respond fast. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2, trusted by over 90,000 businesses. Set up in minutes on any device. Keep your existing number, add teammates as you grow. No it. No hassle. Quo's built in AI agent, even handles after hours calls and books appointments so you're covered around the clock. Money is on the line. Always Say hello with Quo. Try Quo Free plus 20% off your first six months at Quo.com Tech. That's Q U O.com Tech.
- [01:47]
A
Sup, Gigglers?
- [01:49]
D
Gary, fix your WI fi.
- [01:50]
A
Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
- [01:57]
D
I mean, the day just got away from me.
- [02:00]
A
Hello, my gallivanting gigglers.
- [02:04]
E
Great.
- [02:05]
A
Well, we're happy because Paige's E Coli has ran through her body. What is E Coli? I thought you had to, like, bite a cow in the ass to get E. Coli.
- [02:17]
E
I've lived seven lives since I've freaking Benny. Okay, let me just start from the very beginning. Okay, Let me just do like a full story time so we get like, the true details happening. Sunday night I go out to dinner. I have some meatballs. Okay. Monday we record the pod.
- [02:40]
A
Yeah.
- [02:41]
E
My Monday evening. Your Monday morning. Okay. And I'm feeling like, a little queasy, but not enough to not do Giggly Squad. Like, I was like, I can do giggly squad. Right? When we ended Giggly squad, it was like my body was like, you fulfilled your obligation. We now are shutting down. Okay? I've truly been in the same spot since you guys left me. I've been right here. I never moved. I never.
- [03:12]
A
Then I get a picture sent to me of you attached to an IV that looked like it was attached to a Pellegrino bottle. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on in Italy right now?
- [03:22]
E
So Monday night, I'm puking my brains out all night. I'm. I'm shitting myself, Hannah. I'm sitting on the toilet, shitting. I'm bending over and puking in the bidet. Okay? It was. I. In my head, I was like, so convenient. This is the most convenient thing I've actually ever encountered in my life. Thank God I own a pajama brand, because the amount of pajamas I went through, sweating through it. No, I myself. No, I myself, I had to throw my pajama pants away. I go, I own the company.
- [04:01]
A
Throw them out.
- [04:03]
E
Throw them out. And it wasn't like. Because I couldn't get to the bathroom. It was like I was going to throw up. And then all of a sudden, I started.
- [04:13]
A
Every orifice was exploding.
- [04:17]
E
So I wake up Tuesday morning, and I'm just like, I think I've died. I think I died. And I'm. I'm on my way to heaven. I call a doctor. Doctor comes, I tell him, well, actually, my brother's girlfriend, Amanda, thank fucking God she's here, because she's just, like, been translating everything because she speaks, like, fluent.
- [04:36]
A
I was gonna say. How do you say puke out of the mouth and the butthole.
- [04:42]
E
I'm like, amanda, can you tell him? It was like a lime green.
- [04:48]
A
Wait, so you've. You're so close with her right now.
- [04:52]
E
Me and Amanda are like this. Okay, so. So the doctor comes, and everyone in Italy, it's just, like, so funny. First of all, there's no hippa in Italy. The whole hotel knew I was sick. Everyone knew.
- [05:09]
A
Well, they could.
- [05:09]
E
Everyone was going. Everyone was going up to my parents. How is she? Is she okay? One of the waiters came in, like. Like, I had ordered room service, and I was, like, up. And he goes, you're up from bed. Oh, my God, you're up.
- [05:22]
A
I was like, one thing about Italians is they're gonna gossip.
- [05:26]
E
They're gonna talk. No, they're gonna talk about it also
- [05:29]
A
because they want to know why you're not eating their food? Like, that's the 100%.
- [05:35]
E
So I say, I think I ate a meatball that wasn't cooked. No. The doctor was like, impossible.
- [05:44]
A
Impossible. Never been done before in Italy.
- [05:48]
E
No. Well, there was not the food. I was like, okay, it might have been the food. He was like, no, it wasn't. He writes me a prescription to get, like, an iv, and then he wrote me a prescription.
- [06:01]
A
This girl is insane, delusional, making up things.
- [06:05]
E
Hysteria needs a lobotomy.
- [06:08]
A
I love how you came for the meatball. And they go, get her out.
- [06:13]
E
They were like, what? No, he actually made a face like, you're stupid. Like, no, it wasn't the food. Maybe it was your stomach. How about you look inside? Because it wasn't us. And I was like, okay. I mean, it is 100 degrees here. I highly doubt they're storing all the meat products correctly.
- [06:34]
D
But.
- [06:34]
E
But who am I? Okay, I digress.
- [06:37]
A
But a woman in stem.
- [06:38]
E
So then the nurse comes, okay. Just the loveliest woman on the planet. But I'm laying there, and I'm like, this is some makeshift IV if I've ever seen it. She's like, I need. I need a hanger. I go for what? I literally.
- [06:59]
A
Whenever a nurse says, I need a hanger, get the fuck out of there.
- [07:03]
E
So then she, like, hangs it up on the thing. And then I was, like, obviously nervous for her to put the needle in, because I'm like, wait, what if she's not? She was the best nurse I've ever had put a needle in my arm ever. I take down the iv. I'm like. I'm like, okay, But I'm, like, fully incapacitated. Like, all of Tuesday, I'm, like, dead. Next day, Wednesday, I have her come do another IV because, like, the biggest death was the dehydration. Then on my, like, fourth round of broth and rice from room service, one of the waiters says, talk about gossip. One of the waiter goes, the whole hotel, sick. Vomit. I go, everyone in the hotel is vomiting. He goes, on the first floor, there's a couple of kids that had it. And I go, what? I literally. I felt. Because on the last pod, it was like, I have baby fever. The universe was like, not yet.
- [08:03]
A
Bitch thought.
- [08:05]
E
Like, no, you don't. No, actually, you don't.
- [08:07]
A
Wait, so the doctor was right. It wasn't the meatball.
- [08:10]
E
Yeah, no, it wasn't the meatball. I had, like, a legit stomach virus.
- [08:16]
A
Kids get everyone sick.
- [08:18]
E
No, I literally.
- [08:19]
A
You cared so much about trying to eat everything in Italy, and we were all rooting for you. So. So the fact that this happened.
- [08:26]
E
Like, I haven't had cheese in four days.
- [08:28]
C
No.
- [08:29]
A
Like, you don't deserve that. No, you don't.
- [08:31]
E
I haven't had cappuccino.
- [08:35]
A
Not even a prout.
- [08:37]
C
No.
- [08:38]
E
Nothing. I've literally. Last night, I went out to dinner and I was like, I'm so sorry, but can I just have pasta and butter? And he was like, yes, I guess.
- [08:51]
A
Also, you were posting all your alpha videos. You were so happy. And then you just went silent.
- [08:57]
E
And then, like. Then, like, my Scorpio brain, like, I'm literally knee deep in the toilet, like, vomiting. And I'm like, someone put a goddamn hex on me. Like, someone literally put a scroll.
- [09:10]
C
Yeah.
- [09:10]
A
And then you're going through your Rolodex of people that are on your shit
- [09:13]
E
list who couldn't have been but jokes on them because you feel I'm so snatched. I feel great.
- [09:20]
A
You're hydrated.
- [09:22]
E
I'm hydrated. I look better than ever. And, no, now I'm really taking on the world. But I haven't had any gelato. I can't believe I haven't eaten. This is the longest I've ever gone without cheese, I think, my whole life.
- [09:35]
A
And it's like. And my body's finally functioning.
- [09:38]
E
Yeah. And I feel great. I. This is the first day that I'm literally out of bed. Like, I went to breakfast and went to the pool.
- [09:47]
A
I was worried that, like, I was gonna have to navigate somehow doing an episode with my flat ass smile without you, but everything would never leave you like that. Yeah. We would just do Live from the Toilet. It's Paige Desorbo. Saturday night, I was gonna have you send me voice notes like, you in the bathroom. You know when that's the darkest time of your life? When you're, like, alone, vomiting? That's when you see God.
- [10:13]
E
I think, no, I. I literally said, this is how people in other countries die. They get a parasite of some weird shit and then they die. I mean, it was like 5am I think, like, Tuesday morning. And I was like, can you get my mom?
- [10:28]
A
Can you get my affairs in order?
- [10:31]
E
Can you please call my mom? And so the priest had to come to my room. And my mom, like, typical. My mother, she goes, well, you throw up so dramatically. She's like, you throw your whole body into it. She's like, I've thrown up three times in my life. Like, what? You're so annoying.
- [10:53]
A
She goes, have you ever thought about not doing that.
- [10:55]
D
Stop.
- [10:56]
E
No. She was like, seriously, just throw up like a normal person. My stomach muscles are so sore from. From legitimately, like, contracting to, like, you
- [11:07]
A
know, maybe you had an exorcism.
- [11:09]
E
No, honestly, I was like, okay, clean out all the toxins and the demons and whatever I've been holding on to. Cut it out. I'm truly. I. Truly. There's nothing left in me.
- [11:21]
A
You're a blank slate.
- [11:23]
E
Well, I got nervous because I was like, am I, like, at this point pooping out my organs? Because there's just no way. There's no way.
- [11:30]
A
What's coming out at this point?
- [11:32]
E
Every hour on the hour I was throwing up and going to the bathroom.
- [11:36]
A
Were you, like, left to fend for yourself for most of this, or was there always someone, like, patting your back?
- [11:42]
E
No, my whole family. It was as if I was literally dying. Like, there were even people in the hallway when my parents were, like, going to breakfast.
- [11:51]
D
Like, how is she?
- [11:52]
E
Like, the whole. My whole floor do. Everybody knew about it.
- [11:57]
A
They had yellow tape all around your door.
- [12:00]
E
I went to breakfast this morning, and they were like, oh, my God. Like, sit down. Like, we're so happy to see you. I was like, does everyone know?
- [12:06]
A
But you love the attention a little. You're like, it's me.
- [12:09]
E
No, I did.
- [12:10]
A
I'm the girl everyone's been talking about. It's hard to be the it girl of this hotel.
- [12:15]
E
But also, there was a part of me that was like. I feel like the universe was like, you know what? I've never stayed in bed on a vacation. And I feel like this vacation is so long that I. It was actually nice to just, like, I couldn't go out and do anything. So, like, I've never just enjoyed a hotel room the way I did the past four days.
- [12:35]
A
And enjoy is a strong word, but.
- [12:38]
E
Strong word.
- [12:39]
A
She's like, I saw every corner of the room. The room was spinning at one point. It's so funny because I'm also living in a hotel. Like, what's the Eloise? I feel like, Eloise. Yeah. We're like, everyone knows me now. I go down and, like, you know my order. The usual.
- [12:59]
E
Some of the best, like, chicken broth and rice I've ever had in my life.
- [13:04]
A
Well, they probably use orzo. That was so Italian. When you say orzo, you have to use your wrist.
- [13:12]
E
Well, no, they use what they use for risotto. So it's not like. Yes, is that orzo?
- [13:17]
A
Kind of.
- [13:18]
E
Yeah, kind of. It's not like your classic jasmine rice. You Know.
- [13:23]
A
Yeah.
- [13:23]
D
Which I do.
- [13:24]
E
Well, anyway, hi. How are you?
- [13:27]
A
Good. You know, divas have been going down my smile update. This is going to sound crazy, and if you're watching the YouTube, I can feel, like, a millimeter of the edges. Like, it's so embarrassing, but, like. Okay, I'm gonna try to do it.
- [13:45]
E
Yeah, I see it. No, I see it. And I'm not gaslighting you.
- [13:50]
A
Okay. It's literally huge for me. But when I tell you, if you just watch that, you're like, it's not good. It's not good.
- [13:58]
E
No. Like, you're gonna go through phases.
- [14:02]
A
The good thing is I feel like I can talk. Like, there were a couple episodes of Giggly Squad. I was like, I sound like I have a dick in my mouth.
- [14:09]
E
Yeah,
- [14:12]
A
take the dick out your mouth.
- [14:15]
E
Hey, do me a favor, okay? Take the dick out of your mouth. That's an amazing insult. Hey, why don't you do me. Do me a quick favor for a second. Take the dick out of your mouth and talk to me like an adult.
- [14:30]
A
You loved that. You got jacked up on that. You go add that to the repertoire.
- [14:36]
E
Here's an idea. Take that dick out of you.
- [14:40]
A
Well, this is my question, because you're not doing reality TV right now. Where are you putting all your good, like, insults? Because I feel like. Like, where are we putting it? To your brother.
- [14:51]
E
Thank you so much for asking, because
- [14:55]
A
I know you have a side of you that's like, we need to let this out in an artistic form.
- [15:00]
E
Okay? One of the most amazing things about going on a vacation, especially with your sibling and their significant others and your significant other, is they can see what your sibling dynamic is. And Gary said something so heinously mean to me the other day, to the point where I don't even remember what it was, because I started laughing hysterically. And his girlfriend was like, gary, that was so mean. And he was like, that's her love language. She loved it. Look how she's laughing.
- [15:31]
A
So happy.
- [15:32]
E
So a lot of my insults have been going, like, about people, but just to my mom and dad. And what? When my dad says, whoa, Paige, that was harsh. That's when I know I have to really reign it in, because he's, like, psychopath, final boss, and he doesn't like the word cunt. So if I throw in, like and that, he goes, no, he goes.
- [16:02]
A
That's where. That's where I put the foot down.
- [16:05]
E
Yeah. That's where he draws the line.
- [16:06]
A
See, I explained to my parents that, like, culturally, in England, it's like a filler word, and they've, like, gotten over that. But, like, also, I'm not throwing around
- [16:14]
E
like, this all the time. Only when do it once in a while. It's very there.
- [16:18]
A
Yeah, it hits better when you, like, save it for important times. Oh, my God, it's so funny. With the brothers. I also think people talking about people, there's nothing that bonds you more with your brother's significant other than talking shit about your brother. And I know, like, that sounds fudged up, but, like, me sitting in a car with my brother's wife being like, you know how he does that? And her agreeing, it's, like, the best feeling in the world. And it's true love. Like, it's true family connection.
- [16:49]
E
I have this running joke with Amanda that, like, when they first started dating, I, like, pulled her aside and I was like, get out.
- [16:58]
D
Get out.
- [16:58]
E
Right?
- [17:00]
A
I'm like, do you ever root for her? Like, root for her while she's fighting with him? Like, you're like, come on, girl.
- [17:07]
E
Literally last night, he, like, said something to her, and I, like, looked at him, and I was like, what the did you just say to her? Like, I like, no. Now it's kind of crazy because legally, I've had to be on his side for 33 years, and now I, I, I'm not. I'm on her side and, like, on vacation, like, sometimes whole say things to her that, like, he would say to me, and she'll be like, I'm not your sister. And he's like, right, Yeah. I can't say that.
- [17:35]
A
You could talk to her like that. Don't talk to me like that, period. I've been reading the YouTube comments. The comments are so funny because I've been posting updates on Instagram of my smile, and it's people being like, oh, my God, it looks better. Like, I'm like, Day 27. Everyone's like, it looks better. And then the next comment will be like, it's really, really, really bad. And then the next one would be, like, day 30. It'll come back. Like, it's so funny seeing everyone's different reactions to it, but overall, everyone's laughing. But one girl sent the nicest message. She basically was like, hannah, seeing you on last Giggly Squad episode, stop covering your mouth. And just, like, letting it go made me feel. It was, like, empowering and made me feel more confident about my own insecurities. Like, basically, like, if you could own being that up and, like, normalizing it, I could own my shit. And I was like, okay, that's what I bring to this planet. That's what I bring. But now look at me. I'm like, this is me now, bitch. Take it or leave it.
- [18:38]
E
You know, Wait, the photo you posted of you and dez and then you were like, wait, why is my smile.
- [18:44]
A
Okay, so there's a Des is special for the international gigglers and whatever. It's on YouTube right now, so you should watch it on YouTube. So I posted to promote it, and I took a wedding photo, and he's mid sentence of something, so his mouth looks in, like, literally my smile.
- [19:03]
E
No, it was. No, it was exactly your smile.
- [19:07]
A
He calls it my snarl.
- [19:09]
E
How is the show going?
- [19:10]
A
Oh, my God.
- [19:11]
E
How is can. You're like a. You're Canadian.
- [19:13]
A
I'm so fully Canadian. I've also been, like, such a foodie. I've gone to a bunch of different restaurants because Des came to visit.
- [19:22]
E
Oh, I was gonna say with who?
- [19:24]
A
No, when I'm alone, I get so scared. Like, I won't even go to the pool. Like, I'm so scared. But wait, really look, even, like, shopping. I don't like shopping alone because, like, you walk in and it's just like, also with my smile, it's honestly added to my social anxiety because I'm like, I don't want to disappoint people. Like, you walk and greeting really gets me anxious right now. Actually, like, I was very depressed for, like, two weeks. Like, I wasn't even calling Grace. I know. Oh, my Cuz I was like, I don't want to bring negative energy to her.
- [19:57]
E
I don't want to burden people with my family.
- [20:00]
A
No, actually, you'd be surprised how many, like, friends I have that I just didn't want to tell because I didn't want to ruin their day.
- [20:07]
E
Yeah, that's really considerate of you, but you wouldn't be ruining anyone's day. You have to let it out. You have to. This is a perfect example of depression. You have to get it out.
- [20:18]
A
Yeah. You can't just sit with it like a secret. It gets stronger when you keep it in.
- [20:23]
E
Yeah. You have to tell every.
- [20:25]
A
But you know, the show. I can't wait for the show to come out. I don't know when it's coming out, but it's really a great show. And, like, production's been so cool with me.
- [20:36]
E
Yeah.
- [20:36]
A
And we've, like, really leaned into this character, but. But also a lot of now I'm, like, obsessed with people's smile. Like, I watch something and I'M like, that person doesn't smile a lot. I'm like, oh, my God. That person has a beautiful smile. Like, literally yesterday, this girl was, like, doing something, and she's, like, smiling in front of me. I was like, are you trying to hurt my feelings? I was like, t. No. Smiling and making eye contact with me because it ruins my day.
- [21:01]
E
No, it's a lesson in being grateful, because that's how I feel about, like, being able to eat cheese right now. I'm like, remember last week when I was just chowing down on creams and different milks and frozen milks and different aged parms? Like, that was so. That was so nice, wasn't it? And, like, every time I go to my family, like, maybe I'll just try a little cheese. They're all at the same time, like,
- [21:29]
A
no, but that makes me want to be naughty and do it. That makes me want to take it back to my room and just be like, they don't know how I'm gonna fucking eat this shit.
- [21:37]
E
Well, last night, I got back to my room, and my brother texted me, and he was like, I got. I ordered two pizzas, and I was
- [21:43]
A
like, oh, he's literally the devil on your shoulder. Gary's like, want to get crazy tonight? I won't tell anybody.
- [21:54]
E
He's such an older brother. He's, like, wants to stuff me full of cheese to see what happens.
- [22:01]
A
It's like, you're his Barbie doll that he just wants a Sharpie all over. Burn it.
- [22:08]
E
Wait, the other day. Okay, so the way, like, our rooms are set up, like, we're three in a row. Like, my parents, me, then Gary, and, like, the balcony is, like, low enough that, like, if you stood on a chair, you can see over, but you have to, like, get up on a chair. So every time I go out on my balcony and my dad hears me, he jumps up on a chair and, like, looks over at me. Well, the other day, when I was really sick, I needed them to come in and, like, change my sheets because I was just, like, disgusting. So I went and I sat, but I couldn't go anywhere. So I, like, just went and sat out on the balcony while they were, like, cleaning my room. And the woman had come outside because she was wiping down the, like, sliding glass door, and she doesn't.
- [22:56]
A
It got on the sliding glass door. Door.
- [23:00]
E
No, she was just.
- [23:02]
A
Just spraying all.
- [23:04]
E
She was just lysoling everything. She was just really helping me out. Okay, wait.
- [23:08]
A
Italians love cleaning, you know? She was. She was having a field day.
- [23:15]
E
She brought me extra blankets and pillows. Like, she knew that I was like, sick. So my mom was out there with me and she, like my brother on the other side didn't know that the cleaning woman had come outside. And so he jumped up on the chair and he had a. You know those like, things that help men put their shoes on?
- [23:38]
A
Okay.
- [23:39]
E
Yeah, like, like the. What are they called?
- [23:42]
A
I have no idea. But like, men are so weak. You need something to help you get your shoe on.
- [23:47]
E
A shoehorn, it's called.
- [23:48]
A
Oh yeah, shoehorn.
- [23:50]
E
It's like, help them put on like dress shoes. Whatever. They truly, like the patriarchy. Can't even bend.
- [23:56]
A
Yeah. Let's study endometriosis. Okay.
- [23:58]
E
But my brother pops over his head with the shoehorn.
- [24:02]
A
Like, by the way, he's turning 40 soon. Continue.
- [24:06]
E
That's a grown man.
- [24:07]
A
It's a grown man physically threatening people.
- [24:11]
E
And. And the cleaning woman like, jumps back. Like, what the.
- [24:21]
A
She was like, don't go into the DeSorbo's room. It's a very scary in there.
- [24:26]
E
My brother was like, sorry. And my mom goes, no, we're all family. It's okay. And I go, it's okay that your son was gonna beat me with a shoe? No. It's a lot of therapy going on here. So anyway, that's a little bit about the DeSorbon family trip.
- [24:49]
D
Summer is the season of ponytails, messy buns and braids. And when it's hot outside, I need to get my hair off my neck. And I used to feel so self conscious about how my hair looked. But after using Neutrful, I realized such a difference in my hair. And there's nothing I hate more than doing a slick back bun. And all of a sudden the sides just look so empty. There have even been times where I've taken eyeshadow and like tried to fill in the gaps. But not when I have Nutrafol. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand. And it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. Nutrafol's hair growth supplement are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinically tested. Adding Nutrafol to your daily routine is easy. You can order online, no prescription needed. And with automated deliveries and free shipping to keep you on track, there's no way you can mess this up. Plus, with Nutrafol subscription, you can save up to 20% off and get added perks to support your hair healthy journey. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster Growing hair in three to six months with Nutrafol For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafool.com and enter promo code giggly that's nutrafol.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code giggly this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I feel like we talk about therapy all the time and it's so streamlined. But there is still a sigma that gets in the way of getting support. Better helps 2026 State of Stigma report surveys 2,000Americans and reveals that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from so I feel like the more we talk about and the more we normalize going to therapy, asking for help, talking to people, the more it will actually happen. And with Better Help, they're the perfect people to start with. With over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, Having served over 6 million people globally and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. And Better Help does the initial matching work so you can focus on therapy and your goals? All you have to do is take a short questionnaire and this helps identify your needs and your preferences. If you aren't happy with your match, you can switch at any time to a different therapist from BetterHelp's tailored recommendations. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with Better Help. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com that's betterhelp h-e lp.com gigglysquad I love sticking to a routine and I actually love sticking to a routine more in the summer because my body just feels better. But when you're traveling, sometimes it's hard to stick to a routine. Cachava has made traveling so easy with their travel packs. Just one packet provides complete nutrition ready for life on the go with protein, fiber, vitamins, minerals, greens, probiotics, omegas, electrolytes, eggs and more. I absolutely love their chocolate, but they have a ton of other flavors like coconut, acai, strawberry, coffee, chocolate, mint. People are always talking about more protein, more protein, but fiber is really important too and Kachava understands that. If you're in need of energy, digestion, strength, metabolism and immunity support, then Kachava is for you. Kachava provides clean nutrition to fuel wherever your day takes you. No fillers, no nonsense, no artificial flavors, colors or sweeteners. There's also no gmo, no soy and no animal products, no gluten and no preservatives. So take your daily ritual with you. Go to kachava.com and use code giggly for 15% off your first order. That's Kachava K A C H A V A dot com with code giggly.
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- [30:49]
A
well final notes about the Masseter massacre which is the new thing going around is oh yeah, Yahoo.com wrote an article and said comedian says her donkey smile is because of what?
- [31:05]
E
When the fuck did we say donkey?
- [31:07]
A
Never said. Never said donkey smile.
- [31:09]
E
Also, what does a donkey smile look like? Okay, well
- [31:16]
A
no, but I read it. I was Like, I'm being misquoted. I've never. Then I was like, did I say donkey? Because, you know, sometimes you're like, things get taken out of context. I've never said. I would never say I have a donkey smile.
- [31:27]
E
I've also never said the word donkey.
- [31:29]
A
I've never smile and donkey together. Also, I would never shame a donkey. Like, animals are perfect.
- [31:35]
E
And, like, in what context? Like, every. Are we talking about donkeys?
- [31:40]
A
No. Literally, leave donkeys out of it. So anyway, they just gaslit me to say that I called my. Just say I look like a donkey. Don't make it like. Yeah, like telling myself I look like a donkey.
- [31:51]
E
Who wrote it?
- [31:53]
A
Someone at Yahoo.
- [31:54]
E
Not a giggler.
- [31:55]
A
No, no, no. Also, everyone was worried about your, like, ganglion cyst. And. Oh, did you see, like, all the responses about what to do?
- [32:07]
E
So many responses. I think the number one response was like, it's a five to ten minute procedure. It's honestly not that big of a deal.
- [32:15]
A
That's not the number one response I saw.
- [32:18]
E
Oh, what was yours?
- [32:19]
A
People were saying to hit it with a Bible.
- [32:21]
E
Oh, yeah.
- [32:22]
A
Is that like that one?
- [32:24]
E
I knew I knew that one. That to get his Bible and hit
- [32:29]
A
you with it,
- [32:31]
E
he's gonna literally grab his shoehorn and be like, I love to. I've been waiting for you to ask. No, I knew that was, like, one of the things to do, but I don't want to do that.
- [32:47]
A
You don't want to do surgery on yourself?
- [32:49]
E
Well, everyone was like, it will come back if you do that. And even if you go and get it drained, most likely it comes back. They said the only way to, like, really ensure it doesn't is to, like, get the procedure. I think I would just go and get it drained.
- [33:03]
A
Are we, like, becoming those girls in their 30s who were just talking about, like, back pain and, like, cysts?
- [33:10]
E
Okay, well, we're growing with the gigglers. We're all the same age, and, like, this is what we're going through. We're just talking about it. And this is how you get endometriosis research money by continuing to talk about it?
- [33:23]
A
Yes. Yes.
- [33:25]
E
I don't know what I'm gonna do with this thing, because now she's, like, a part of me, you know? But someone did say stress and anxiety contribute to these.
- [33:37]
A
I know, I'm. It's kind of. You can, like, accessorize it. Maybe you could bedazzle it or something.
- [33:42]
E
Yeah, maybe I could build it a little home.
- [33:45]
A
Get in an outfit, a matching set.
- [33:48]
E
Put a Little eyes and a mouth on it.
- [33:53]
A
Be like, hold on, I have to talk to my gangling sis. What do you think?
- [34:01]
E
What up, gang?
- [34:04]
A
There they are. They're coming.
- [34:08]
E
So stupid. I really miss you. I feel like.
- [34:10]
A
No, I miss you so much.
- [34:13]
E
Like, I feel like I have so much, but, like, I need to see you in person.
- [34:16]
A
You were dead, but, like, so I did. I was just, like, being like, it'll be okay. Like, I didn't know what to say. But I also, I didn't want to bother you because you were dead. But then I also didn't want to, like, make you think I forgot you were dying.
- [34:28]
E
Honestly, nobody bothered me while I was dead because I haven't been this. I haven't been this sick since truly, like, college, high school. I was so sick that I didn't even know where my phone was for the past week because I truly couldn't. I couldn't even look at my screen. I was.
- [34:48]
A
So you just say I jinxed us a couple episodes ago before the Masseter massacre and your E. Coli. I. I basically was like, being in your 30s is great because when something bad happens to you in your 20s, you're like, this is the first time it's happening. Like, I'm so scared my life is over. But in your 30s, you're like, I've dealt with this. I'll be okay. And then things that have never happened to us, like the smile situation. I'm like, I've never come across. This has never come across my desk. I don't know how to handle this. I think this is the end for me. So the universe loves to fudge with us and be like, oh, you think? You know?
- [35:22]
E
No. I couldn't believe I said I had baby fever and then you almost died from a baby. The hotel, like, mater d was like a bunch of kids brought it in and I was like, those mother. Also, there's a lot of people from Australia here.
- [35:39]
D
Oh,
- [35:42]
A
no.
- [35:42]
E
Which is crazy. Yeah. I keep saying nar, but. Because I feel like that flight is insane unless they live in America.
- [35:51]
A
But it's funny. It's funny to see what vacation spots people love. Like the British go to or the Australian versus the Americans. Yeah, but Australians, I feel like, are good vibes and they love to, like, have a good time.
- [36:05]
E
Well, I think the gaggle of Australian kids is who gave me this dire disease.
- [36:11]
A
Well, I love how you are now in a full beef with a bunch of 6 year olds.
- [36:16]
E
I've been. Well, here's the thing. Because I got to the Pool today. And I go, which one is little slimy knee biters? Little rats. Yeah. Gave me a virus. No, truly, there were. Because the number one thing, I thought, there's, like, a lot of old people at our pool. I feel like I was like, if someone over the age of 75 is getting this, that's it, you're done. I don't know how you're coming back from it, because it was. I. I mean, I thought I was going to heaven at one point.
- [36:53]
A
Oh, God. Anyhow, well, the good news. I know I'm healing a little bit because. Or maybe I'm just.
- [37:00]
E
In terms of what? Just because.
- [37:02]
A
Not my mouth, but just because I'm like. Maybe it's just because I'm bored in a hotel, but I've been, like, watching some reality tv.
- [37:10]
E
What have you been watching?
- [37:12]
A
Well, I sent you this, like, long voice note about Rhode Island. Did you listen?
- [37:16]
E
You did?
- [37:17]
A
Oh, my God. I sent you, like, when did you send. During your death spiral.
- [37:21]
E
Oh, then you know what?
- [37:24]
A
Because I was like, she's. I want her to wake up in the morning and just have, like, my opinions. But I've been watching.
- [37:29]
E
Wait, no, you didn't.
- [37:30]
A
Or maybe you watched it during a blackout.
- [37:34]
E
No, I feel like I would have remembered pressing play. Are you sure it's sent.
- [37:38]
A
Or maybe I sent it to the wrong person and they're like, why is.
- [37:42]
E
Hannah, I got your screenshot pictures.
- [37:45]
A
It was before.
- [37:45]
E
Okay. Anyway, keep going.
- [37:46]
A
Anyway, we're just trying to figure out our communication,
- [37:51]
E
so.
- [37:51]
A
But okay. With Rhode Island. I love the accent so much, and I have to say, Alicia is one of the funniest personalities to ever grace our screens. And she truly is. Is not trying to be funny, which I think is the most magical part about it. When everything she says hits. And her being like, I love a summer. I love a fig. I love a cracker.
- [38:21]
E
I love. I. I love a horse.
- [38:23]
A
I love a horse. I love a horse.
- [38:25]
E
You find out she's allergic to horses, and she goes, isn't that sad?
- [38:28]
A
So sad.
- [38:28]
E
Because I love.
- [38:31]
A
Because she. She never laughs at her joke. She just says it.
- [38:34]
D
She.
- [38:35]
A
Billy, Billy, Billy.
- [38:37]
E
It's just her personality.
- [38:39]
A
She's incredible.
- [38:41]
E
You've had her pizza.
- [38:43]
A
Pizza mama.
- [38:44]
E
Remember? Yes. Remember? Lucho brought us pizza to Radio City from Rhode Island. He was like, this is the. That was. Yes, I'm pretty sure.
- [38:54]
A
So she's a CEO.
- [38:56]
E
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was her place. That that's where it was from. I don't. I also could have made that up. But we'll have to ask Lucha.
- [39:03]
A
Wow.
- [39:04]
E
But I'm pretty sure you've had it.
- [39:05]
A
But yeah, people are like, getting in fights and like, it's just so nothing makes sense because of, like, edits. So, like, you just don't know anyone's actual stance. Like, it's just so crazy.
- [39:17]
E
There is a world where giggly squad in 10 to 20 years turns into just a reality TV recap pod. Because watching a reality show as an old, old. Oh, my God, why did I just do that to myself?
- [39:35]
A
As a former.
- [39:37]
E
As a former reality person, you can tell when it's the. Is bigger. And they can't show it on TV because it won't.
- [39:45]
D
It's too much.
- [39:45]
E
It won't make sense. And like, there's a moment where you're like, well, what's the real fight about? What was the reason?
- [39:52]
A
Yeah, they're just saying yes to everything. Even the reunion where they're like, rula, why would you go on a reality show when your husband is mid affair? Yeah. And the guy, the husband was kind of like, I don't know.
- [40:08]
E
I find them. I find that archetype of people, like, because I would put them in the same. Obviously it's not the same thing, because Jen Shaw literally scammed like, so many people and old people, which I think is disgusting. But I'd put them in the same archetype of person where I'm. Where it's like, wait, but obviously people were going to find out about this. Like, why would you. How could you go on a reality show doing something so horrible and also illegal in Jen's case, and think that no one was going to pick up on it?
- [40:49]
A
I could be wrong, but I feel like ruler and them. At one point you have to look at like, the little things people say. Towards the end, he was basically like, the husband was like, well, we're the stars of the show. And him saying that made me realize, like, oh, they got the opportunity to do reality tv. They want to be famous. There were indiscretions, but she was like, we'll handle it. Also, I love saying indiscretions. They love. They. They use different words for when she goes. They were echoes. They were echoes. That's what Liz says. They have different words for like just, he fucking cheated. You know what I mean?
- [41:25]
E
But isn't it crazy how.
- [41:27]
D
No.
- [41:27]
E
They talk about their husband's cheating like it's the 1950s. He stepped out.
- [41:31]
A
Stepped out? Yes, he stepped out like he tripped.
- [41:35]
E
I'm like, at looking at the tv, I'm like, no, he fudge someone else. Like, what are you talking about?
- [41:40]
A
If you want to stay with your man? Because, like, what? That's fine. But I think what was frustrating people was that she was trying to play dumb. When she's not dumb, she's not dumb at all.
- [41:50]
E
She's extremely, extremely smart.
- [41:53]
A
And she kept being, like, just trusting him. And I know it's because you want to trust him and you have a family with him, but they really thought that they could go on the show and just, like, deny, deny, deny. But Joellen, who, by the way, everyone calls her evil. She calls herself evil. And then Liz tries to be like, they just don't show the evil stuff. But, like, she hasn't really done anything evil besides, like, be like a dog with a bone when it comes to a guy cheating. But by the way, like, guys now are allowed to cheat, and no one cares.
- [42:25]
E
No one cares. They're like, well, did she deserve it? Annoying, probably.
- [42:30]
A
Yeah. She, like, did she smirk weird when
- [42:33]
E
he did you think about, like, what she was like to live with?
- [42:36]
A
Oh, my God.
- [42:37]
E
It's okay.
- [42:38]
A
Of course he should have cheated on her, the girl that he fully had paperwork with.
- [42:43]
E
Also, Rhode island is a very interesting cast because they've all known each other for so long.
- [42:51]
A
That's why it's good.
- [42:52]
E
Yeah. Think about, like, your high school friends or your college friends. If you guys were all about to film a show in your head, you would think, like, okay, she's going to be, like, this kind of character because that's how she is, and she's going to be like this. So I think they all went into it the way they think of each other. So, like, everyone's going to hate Jon because we hate Jon. But then they're on the show and America's watching, and they're like, well, we love this woman. She was never homeless.
- [43:22]
A
She was never homeless. Oh, my gosh.
- [43:26]
E
She was never homeless. I do love Liz, though. Like, I like all of that Liz.
- [43:33]
A
And now she's gone because I think Liz was going to kill someone. Like, Liz was like, I don't want to have to kill someone on this show. And that's why I'm not going to be here.
- [43:43]
E
It is also like, your first season of reality television. It's such a blur because you're then obviously when it comes out, you're like, wait, what? Like, I can't believe I did that. And it is intrusive. It's extremely intrusive. And not everyone, once you get a taste of it, not Everyone wants to keep doing it. So I like, I kind of respect her decision. Or she's like, I did it. I like experienced it. Like, so fun. It's kind of similar to like a Jenna Lyons where she's like, yeah, I liked it, but I don't like it enough to be like a full cast member where you have that much access to me.
- [44:21]
A
Well, also, you don't know, you don't know what's going to define you out of like all the hours that you film. You don't know what moment people are going to be like. And that's who she is.
- [44:32]
E
Yeah.
- [44:33]
A
And Liz actually was really good. And then I think Liz had one of these. When people would fight with her, she would take it very personally. Cuz she was like, I've known you since you were born, since you were born. I saw you come out of your mother's vagina and you are gonna attack me on tv. Like, that's the thing. It's when you confront someone on a reality show, you're not just confronting them, you're deciding. I want America to see this accusation of you and it makes it so much deeper.
- [45:01]
E
Yeah. And I feel like if you're on a reality show and you are the type of person to be like, oh, I don't think of the cameras. Let, like, I just feel like you're lying because lying, really, you're not. You don't think of the person, the guy standing in front of you with the massive camera. Like, you don't think about.
- [45:19]
A
I mean, you definitely can't control everything because you can't be on top of it all the time because it's too hard. Like you, you'll forget, like to control yourself. I think when you film for so long, at some point you're like, I need to let out my opinion.
- [45:36]
E
I think that they were a phenomenal cast and they did a phenomenal job as a first season, phenomenal show. I would say probably the best housewife franchise.
- [45:47]
A
Phenomenal because it's like their own culture. And. And also, you know why they were good? They make up fast. Like when Alicia freaked out on Rosie because Rosie was trying to stir the pot. And then Rosie was like, hey, I'm really sorry. She was like, I love you. After she was like, welcome to Rhode Island. Like, but that's what makes a good show to be like. Like, if they stayed mad at each other the rest of the show. That's boring.
- [46:14]
E
So boring. Get over it.
- [46:16]
A
But the thing is, come season two and season three, people get really jealous and egos of who's doing well, who's not. So things get really.
- [46:24]
E
And people get blinded by anger and then they do do things that are life ruining or life altering. And because these are their real friends, like, I could see it being even harder. Like, they've known them for so long.
- [46:39]
A
Also, we have a reality TV update. Layla from Mormon Wives has come out as bisexual.
- [46:48]
E
I get one stomach virus and I lose all track of the Mormon Wives.
- [46:53]
A
Wait there. It's insane right now. The Mormon Wives online, What are they doing?
- [46:58]
E
What are they doing?
- [46:58]
A
It's crazy. It's. Well, also, I can't like, follow court shit. But, like, Dakota and Taylor have like a live stream going of like a. What's it called when you, like, ask questions? A disconnection. I don't understand what a deposition is because they're like, you don't have to answer any questions if you don't want to. Why would you answer any questions if they're going to use it against you?
- [47:22]
E
I don't know.
- [47:23]
A
And ask Gary, actually, don't I? Don't you. He's busy. Like, trying to hit people with a shoehorn.
- [47:28]
E
No, but Gary's busy. No, that Dakota guy is real deranged. Like, he's real scared. He's on another level. He's doing really scary things, like timing the. Timing the videos he posts of her. You can see in. He just posted some video of her and she is very clearly like postpartum. And she's begging him to just, like, stop. Like, you can feel the frustration in her. And that's like the craziest level of abuse that I like, I feel so reactive.
- [48:06]
A
Abuse, which actually they do take advantage of with reality tv, where sometimes they just show people's reactions and not what they're reacting to. But that's just me raising awareness. As you know, this is the number one pet podcast in the world. And that's why we love petsmart. I mean, have you ever saw a petsmart and not, like, gotten giddy and wanted to go in and just get, like, Kitty every single gift that she needs?
- [48:32]
E
Well, you're not walking by a PetSmart and not looking in the window. I mean, you would be a monster if you were to not look in the window, see what's going on, see who's in there. I love petsmart because not only can you get everything in store, but they also ship everything really fast. So sometimes I want to go online
- [48:50]
D
shopping for Kitty too.
- [48:51]
A
Oh, my God. For sure. And you get what you need when you need it. There's so many ways to shop when life gets hectic. You can get food for your cats, you can get toys for your cats. Get a snack for your friend's dog. You can get a collar for your friend's dog.
- [49:08]
E
Just gonna see how long you could go.
- [49:11]
A
They have auto ship so you never run out of your pet's favorites by putting it on auto ship free same day delivery store pickup ship to home in store and Petsmart is the one stop shop that delivers all my needs as a cat mom. Which obviously like celebrating Daphne's birthday is a need, not a want a need. So visit your local Petsmart store. Go to petsmart.com today petsmart anything for
- [49:37]
D
Pets this episode is brought to you by Experian Boost Red flag he venmo
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E
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D
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E
But your credit score still doesn't reflect that effort. Kind of sounds like dating.
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D
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E
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A
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- [50:52]
D
Can we talk about how summer dressing somehow becomes harder than winter dressing? Like, you're either comfortable and look like you gave up or you're cute and you're counting down the seconds until you can change. That's why I've been obsessed with the Breezily collection from Lululemon. I recently wore the Breezily mid rise cropped pants to lunch, and they're exactly what you need in your summer staples. They have this relaxed, effortless look that's somehow casual and polished at the same time. And not to mention they're so lightweight and breathable. Sometimes pants in the summer feel like a personal attack. And these absolutely don't. They're made with Lululemon Swift fabric so they stay airy and comfortable and they move with you instead of feeling restrictive. The fit is drapey and easy, but still looks elevated. And that's what I love about the breezily collection in general, it feels like clothing for when you want to look like you made an effort without actually the hard part. I wear Lululemon and you should too. Go to lululemon.com right now. New styles drop all the time and the colors go fast, so don't wait. And if something doesn't work for you, free returns always. That's lululemon.com lululemon.com.
- [52:04]
C
Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
- [52:08]
B
Running a business means you're always reachable. Until you're not. And the moment you miss that call, a competitor picks it up. That's why this episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Quo, the business phone system, built so you never miss an opportunity. All your calls, texts and voicemails live in one place. Anyone on your team can pick up a conversation, see the full history and respond fast. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2, trusted by over 90,000 businesses set up in minutes on any device. Keep your existing number, add teammates as you grow. No it, no hassle. Quo's built in AI agent, even handles after hours calls and books appointments so you're covered around the clock. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo Free plus 20% off your first six months at Quo.com Tech that's Q U O.com Tech.
- [53:08]
A
Taylor is fighting with all the other girls right now.
- [53:11]
E
About what?
- [53:12]
A
All the other girls are mad at her. I think she had said like, I'm the founder of Mom Talk. And then Whitney Levitt comes into the chat as basically like founders, like multiple people founded it. And then Whitney's filming with all the other girls. And then Taylor posts basically like, how could you? How could you? From outside the club, you can't even get in. And it's all these texts of opportunities she had that she said no to and the other girl said yes to. And then the Internet's divided because they're like, is that a flex that you, like, didn't want to do gigs and the other girls did it? Like, I don't know, it's. It's just some Mom Talk is in chaos.
- [53:52]
E
Well, let's call a spade a spade. Maybe multiple of them founded Mom Talk. They got a show because of Taylor.
- [54:01]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [54:02]
E
That's the only reason. The only reason they're on TV is because Taylor had an affair.
- [54:07]
A
But again, this is what happens with reality tv. It gets to the point where it's like just egos, like, who. Who gets the credit? Who gets the credit and who deserves what? But you're right about Dakota. Like, the first scene when they were in that restaurant, and he goes, I couldn't believe you messaged me. Like, I could just tell that he was a fame.
- [54:27]
E
Yeah.
- [54:28]
A
Like, he's just a fan that, like, got in.
- [54:32]
E
He is fan. He is the biggest fan. He's not even a fan because I feel like that's a compliment. He wants to be her. Yeah, he wants to be the founder of Mom Talk.
- [54:44]
A
He's like a good enough looking guy.
- [54:46]
E
Bachelor.
- [54:47]
A
That she messaged him and he basically was like, this is my. She's my. Like, what do they call it? Silver spoon.
- [54:58]
E
I don't know if that's. I mean, I guess you could use that in that context, but I don't think that is traditionally blacked out.
- [55:09]
A
What did I say?
- [55:11]
E
Well, typically, the saying is like, they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Like, they were born with, like, a leg up. They were born, like, wealthy. But I guess actually you could say she's my spoon.
- [55:26]
A
I digress.
- [55:27]
E
I actually. I actually kind of like that. That's actually like. Yeah, throw a new spin on it.
- [55:34]
A
Take that dick out of your mouth. And that silver spoon.
- [55:37]
E
Do me a favor. Take that dick out of your mouth and put in this silver spoon. From rags to riches.
- [55:47]
A
No, like, and you guys, we're not high right now.
- [55:50]
E
Wait, do you want to hear something really sad?
- [55:52]
D
No.
- [55:53]
E
The owner of the gelato shop in town passed away, so they shut down the gelato shop. And there's a sign in the window. All I could think about is your grandpa. I don't know why. Oh, and in the sign in the window, it said, close due to morning.
- [56:10]
A
And I was like, no. Italians are so good at processing their emotions. Giangelo wouldn't have wanted us to continue without him for the week. Why did I turn into Long Islands?
- [56:24]
E
Isn't that so sad?
- [56:26]
A
Well, Italians love putting up a clothes sign. They love be back later.
- [56:32]
E
Taking a day off.
- [56:33]
A
They're taking a day off. See ya.
- [56:35]
E
Brb.
- [56:36]
A
Well, I send my condolences to the gelato. The gelato king. But anyway, no Easy way to segue. But Layla had her first orgasm.
- [56:47]
E
Oh, okay.
- [56:48]
A
Which is so funny. But no, she had her orgasm, but she also. She's bi, so basically, like, men just weren't doing it for her. And everyone was, like, pointing finger at her, like, you have to, like, figure out how to orgasm. And she's like, I can't with a man. And then one day she woke up and she was like, oh, because I like women.
- [57:06]
E
Yeah, I was gonna say she has a girlfriend. She couldn't do it with a vibrator like, before, maybe.
- [57:12]
A
I think she was, but she, like, wasn't. It wasn't happening with men. So she has, like, a hot girlfriend with tattoos.
- [57:20]
E
Yeah. Yeah. I love that.
- [57:22]
A
I'm like, so I'm so happy.
- [57:24]
E
And if I could, I would.
- [57:25]
A
And if I could, I would, I would, I would.
- [57:28]
E
But I can't.
- [57:28]
A
Then on my tick tock, something came up. I don't know why I get all these tick tocks about guys on the DL. Maybe it's because I was on the DL in a past life. If you don't know what that means, it means straight men who are gay on the down low. And this guy speaks as, like, a former DL man, and he's like this gorgeous guy who, like, is straight passing, and he's like, hey, as a former DL man, I just want you know that guys on the DL tend to go for, like, really traditional, beautiful women. Like, so we think. We just think about it, like, kind of like a gay guy. We're like, that's gorgeous. I'd rather be around that. And he's like, really traditional, beautiful women end up with guys in the DL a lot. And I was like, I have to send this to Paige. But, you know all these, like, girls on Instagram who are gorgeous and then they have these gorgeous boyfriends, and then you click on the boyfriend and you hear him talk and you're like, why would.
- [58:22]
E
No. The amount of times I've, like, followed a girl for years and I've never looked at their husband. And then I've just randomly given a game stander. I'm like, I think is gay.
- [58:35]
A
Well, because in photos they look so good together. Yeah.
- [58:37]
E
I'm like a gorgeous couple because they're amazing each other. There's actually a girl on the Internet. I don't even know what her name is. Like on tick tock. That's like a crazy girl. Like a crazy. Like, you should not go to school and just, like, get married. Like, one of those girls. I don't even Know, but she, like, fights with people on the Internet. And then, like, they showed a picture of her husband. They know they showed a video of her husband, like, and it was so blatantly obvious that he. It was just, like, sad. I'm like, they get these girls get brainwashed.
- [59:12]
A
But then part of me, like, my feelings were hurt because I was like, oh, so I'm not good looking enough for DLG to fuck with me.
- [59:21]
E
Have you never dated someone where you've, like, been out with them and you're like, taken a minute where you're like,
- [59:26]
D
I think you might be gay?
- [59:27]
A
Never. The only gay guy that I ever dabbled with, I never hooked up with him was one of these guys who was, like, too masculine. Like, he was over, like, so masculine. And then when I heard that he might be messing around with men, like, a year later, I just talked to him for a couple months. I was like, oh, that makes sense.
- [59:46]
E
That's a different. That's a different kind of different trauma response.
- [59:50]
A
Like, guys, a different military who are, like, super, super buff and tatted up and just the most masculine guy ever. And then you find out he's not a DL, so he. He really tricked me. Some of these guys are not out here even trying to trick girls.
- [60:02]
E
Yeah, I like them to put it all out on this.
- [60:04]
A
They're like, donna, stomp that last season, produce you on me, honey.
- [60:07]
E
And I'm like, let's get married.
- [60:11]
A
Wait, I have to tell you guys, Paige and I, like, pitched this, like, show concept where, like, Paige falls in love with a guy who pretends to be gay or who is actually gay, and she finds out later. And these people gave us notes and they were like, but that doesn't. Like, it's not realistic. And we were like, this is based on a biography. This is based on real life, on the ground journalism.
- [60:34]
E
One of the writers was like, we just feel like Paige is too smart and she'd catch on. And me and Hannah were like, actually, we don't think that they go, paige
- [60:47]
A
is way too smart to fall for something like that. I'm like, this is happening to girls every single day. This is an epidemic that we have to talk about.
- [60:55]
E
All over America, women are getting tricked. Okay?
- [60:59]
A
But then it's like, is it better sometimes to just be with a DL guy who, like, understands your fashion and, like, likes to gossip with you and is good looking?
- [61:08]
E
No. Okay. No. I think that that's the whole argument of, like, lavender marriages. I think lavender marriages work. I get those. I understand if you want to have children, and this is your friend and you're. And they're gay. Whatever.
- [61:23]
A
It's also. It's kind of like an arranged marriage where if, like, two people earnestly believe this is what they want, it can work. Like, if the guy is like, this is what I want to be. For me, it worked.
- [61:36]
E
Anyway.
- [61:37]
A
Anyway, I have a. A sports update. Since this is a sports podcast and you guys have all been waiting for the sports updates.
- [61:43]
E
Is the.
- [61:44]
A
Is the cups that I'm officially into the world?
- [61:47]
E
Why did I just say that? Wait, you are. I was just gonna say, is it still going on?
- [61:51]
A
DEZ came over and was like, we're watching the World Cup. And I was like, okay. And I, like, made him explain to me. And then, like, now I'm. I'm, like, all in. It's so annoying. Like, I was watching it alone last night, but.
- [62:07]
E
Oh, I hate when you do stuff like that.
- [62:10]
A
I have, like, a weird, like, hyper fixation with it.
- [62:14]
E
You get so into random.
- [62:17]
A
I know. Now I'm in a K hole. Now my whole feed is, like, men kicking.
- [62:21]
E
And now you look them all up. Okay, give me. What's the deal with the guy with all the goddamn Birkins? Oh.
- [62:28]
A
So it looks like he has lip filler, but he's just. He's just from Switzerland. So, like, men are just beautiful. Switzerland. They just have, like, high cheekbones and huge lips, and just, like, he's, like, six, five, huge blue eyes. Can't even look right at him. Like, so he's.
- [62:46]
E
Yeah, yeah.
- [62:47]
A
He's just really good and has a good personality, and he's talented and he's winning. But soccer is just. I mean, I don't really have any insight. I just didn't understand why every play they don't just, like, someone kicks the ball towards the goal, and then they all jump and, like, have a chance to get it in because, like, it's so fucking hard to get a goal. I'm like, why are we not just, like. I feel like, percentage wise, just kick it near the goal and see what happens. And Des is like, no, they have to set up the play. They have to set up the play. I'm like, yeah, but they could be setting up the play all fucking game, and someone, like, hits it off their ankle and it goes in the other goal.
- [63:25]
E
Also, why the would America create football and call it football when the entire world was using the term football for soccer?
- [63:39]
A
Like, well, that's like us using inches in Fahrenheit.
- [63:43]
E
Yeah, but.
- [63:45]
D
But no, actually, they have.
- [63:51]
E
No way. But like football was created in what, like the 50s?
- [64:04]
A
Yeah, like football was already a thing. Like call it, call something.
- [64:08]
E
Like soccer was. Yeah, like the game of soccer was already a thing. So when they created American football and they're like, what should we call it? They, A bunch of idiots got together and was like, why don't we steal the name of a sport that's already being played? Like, why didn't anyone stop them?
- [64:26]
A
Yeah, like, who was the head of the meeting that day?
- [64:29]
E
Also, foot and ball in American, they don't ever kick it.
- [64:34]
A
They kick it. They have a kick, but they have like a kicker that.
- [64:37]
E
Why wouldn't it be called handball?
- [64:40]
A
That's a thing too. That's a separate thing. We'll come up with another thing. But you know, it made me think,
- [64:44]
E
comparing the two, American football should have been called soccer and football. And soccer should have been called football, possibly because what the hell is soccer?
- [64:55]
A
The branding is all over the place.
- [64:57]
E
It's all over the place. And it's because it's all the, all the men did it.
- [65:00]
A
Yeah, because men don't. Straight men don't know branding, that's for sure. But with soccer, the men, like, they want to get called fouls called, so they like flop. Like they get hit slightly and they do the whole like rolling around like a fish on the ground.
- [65:15]
E
They're your cat. When you're away for a while and you come home, they just fall in front of you.
- [65:22]
A
Or like a toddler, they. Like a toddler where like they fall and you're looking at them like, are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry? And they look around to see if no ref calls a whistle. They just get up and keep going.
- [65:35]
D
Oh, they're.
- [65:35]
A
They're sick. They're liars and cheaters.
- [65:38]
E
No, they're really sick.
- [65:40]
A
But it's funny. Cuz football, yeah, they have pads and stuff. But football, American football, so fucking complicated. They're getting hit with each other's helmets, like rammed every play. And these are six, eight guys that rammed, get right back up, run back to the play. And then soccer, someone's like kind of like hits another guy's shin and they act like they got hit by a car. When I got hit by a car, I had less reaction.
- [66:08]
E
American football is like truly modern day. Like gladiators.
- [66:13]
A
Yeah. Which. And it's not right. It's not right because yes, he did get up immediately and go back to the line, but his brain is bleeding
- [66:22]
E
and he can't spell murder someone in five to 10 years.
- [66:25]
A
So we don't know there's a 50 chance someone's gonna get murdered.
- [66:29]
E
The men don't have a good enough track record that we're taking this many chances with them.
- [66:35]
A
Also, what's crazy is like, if he murders someone, he still will probably just get like a three day suspension.
- [66:42]
E
Isn't it crazy really, that like, men commit 90% of violent crimes? Like, is that like, we don't say that enough? Just every day?
- [66:51]
A
That was in my first special when I talk about gun violence.
- [66:56]
E
Yeah. Doing the work of the people. Yeah. Because that's just a crazy statistic. 90%.
- [67:05]
A
If only women were allowed to have guns, gun violence would be down 80% because occasionally we'd have a slip up.
- [67:14]
E
Look, I thought it was on sale. You said it was on sale. Now you're saying it's not on sale.
- [67:23]
A
I want to return this. I can't find the receipt.
- [67:26]
E
You're saying just in store credit. Well, now I need to pull out my gun.
- [67:31]
A
There's a Sephora sale going on and I feel like things are getting sold out. You guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. Thank you for all your support during this difficult time that both of us have been navigating. You are our rock. We love you so much. And also, we may have some merch drop soon.
- [67:52]
E
See ya.
- [67:53]
A
Love you so much.
- [67:54]
C
Bye.