Giggling about fainting, dick pills, and weed pens

Summary

Giggly Squad: "Giggling about fainting, dick pills, and weed pens"

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Date: January 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and hilarious episode, Hannah and Paige dive into a classic, chaotic Giggly Squad session: they reflect on embarrassing fainting episodes, expose the weird rituals men have around bathroom breaks, riff on the absurdity of over-the-counter “dick pills,” and tell memorable weed pen stories from reality TV. Alongside their trademark pop-culture roasts, they touch on topics like book club culture, female friendship dynamics, mental health, and celebrity drama—all while never taking themselves too seriously.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pop Culture, Clubs & Book Talk

• Book Club as Social Cred:
  Paige admits she bought a Colleen Hoover book just to be able to say “I read the book” before a movie adaptation comes out.
  • Quote: “When it comes to movies and books, my favorite thing to say is, well, I read the book, and I haven’t been able to say it in about 15 years.” – Paige (05:14)
• Celebrities and Book Clubs:
  Hannah points out the PR move for hot celebrities launching book clubs to seem “multidimensional.” Kaia Gerber and Olivia Ponton get mentioned (07:09).
• Ashley Tisdale Cut Article / Mom Groups Drama:
  The hosts break down the recent “mom club” fallout featuring Ashley Tisdale, Hilary Duff, and Meghan Trainor, discussing social exclusion, subtweeting in articles, and celeb feuds.
  • Quote: “I didn’t feel included is saying like, I was bullied.” – Hannah (09:40)
  • Segment: 08:55–12:00

2. Clubs, Fainting, and Pilates Mishaps

• Clubs Are Back (Sort of):
  Both admit that as adults, joining real “clubs” feels ridiculous, but Hannah’s mom’s boozy book club—where not everyone actually reads—sounds tempting (13:06).
• Hannah’s Pilates Fainting Story:
  Hannah confesses to almost passing out during an intense Pilates class taught by a beautiful, pregnant instructor. She narrates her spiral—messing with her socks to play it off, escaping to the bathroom floor to hide, and debating how to return without being noticed.
  • Memorable quote: "Nothing like it. I mean, I was at peace for the first time in my life. Some would say my whole life went flashing by me. I saw me as a child playing with butterflies." – Hannah, on lying on the bathroom floor after nearly fainting (21:32)
  • Segment: 15:21–23:32

3. The Ritual of Men’s Bathroom Breaks

• Main Character Pooping:
  The duo giggles about how men turn their bathroom breaks into dramatic, lengthy solo rituals.
  • Quote: “There is an epidemic out there when men take poops, they make it a ritual. They make it, like, main character energy. They take a whole business day.” – Hannah (27:49)
• Moms & No Privacy:
  Paige observes that mothers rarely get privacy, while their husbands vanish for epic solo bathroom breaks.
• Public Bathroom Anxieties:
  Paige confesses to leaving high school early just to avoid using public restrooms, while Hannah claims to be “a real one” who has no shame (29:09–29:44).

4. Mental Health & Social Dynamics

• Handling Mistreatment:
  The squad recites and unpacks the note: “When people mistreat you, it’s because they think you’re better than them and they want to bring you down to their level…”
  • Quote: “If no one’s mean to you, you’re not doing enough.” – Hannah (33:19)
• Comparison and Self-Awareness:
  Personal growth in their 30s: realizing one's own annoying traits, learning to handle flaws, and becoming more self-aware and empathetic.
  • Segment: 52:08–53:19

5. Award Show Hosts & Major Moments for Women

• Celebrating Women Hosts:
  The hosts praise women like Chelsea Handler and Nikki Glaser for modernizing and bringing nuance to hosting major award shows, noting how the media underplays their achievements compared to men.
  • Quote: “We are socially aware and we know how to be funny without, like, hurting people… Because we have empathy.” – Paige (35:33)
  • Segment: 35:17–37:45

6. Dick Pills, Double Standards & Gas Station Weirdness

• Rant on “Dick Pills” Availability:
  In a segment both hilarious and sharp, Hannah and Paige mock the ubiquity of gas station sex pills for men vs. the luxury tax on period products.
  • Memorable line: “One thing we need less of is hard men. If you're soft, you're soft for a reason. That's the universe.” – Hannah (40:34)
• Curiosity/Warnings:
  Paige says gas station sex pills are dangerous; Hannah jokes about accidentally taking one herself.
  • Segment: 40:22–41:07

7. Men & Cosmetic Procedures

• Older Men & Bad Plastic Surgery:
  The girls joke about how male celebrities (esp. Bradley Cooper) who get plastic surgery end up looking “funky” because societal standards don’t pressure them the same way.
  • Quote: “When men get bad plastic surgery, I’m like, you didn’t even need this, and you (messed) it up.” – Hannah (45:00 approx)
• Aging Aesthetics:
  They prefer men to look “weathered, tired, and a little bit slow”—with Paige declaring, “I want salt and pepper hair. I want you to walk kind of slower.” (46:18–46:21)

8. Weed Pen Reality TV Story

• Infamous Closet Weed Pen Episode:
  Paige prompts Hannah to recall the time she (awkwardly) hit a weed pen on reality TV, got “caught” by a guy she was dating, and then tried to explain she didn’t know how to inhale.
  • Quote: “I was so dramatic about it, like I’m about to do heroin for the first time…” – Hannah (58:15)

9. Beauty Rituals & Russian Manicures

• Praise for the Science of Nails:
  Post weed-pen tangent, Hannah marvels at her first Russian manicure, calling manicurists “scientists.”
  • Quote: “How did you create a whole new nail bed? Like, it’s incredible the work that they’ve done.” – Hannah (60:19)
• Nail Anxiety:
  Paige confesses to hand-shaking nerves every time she gets her nails painted.

10. Final Giggles & Mental Health Takeaways

• Ana de Armas as Inspiration:
  Paige describes using Ana de Armas’s casting as Marilyn Monroe (“If Ana de Armas can be Marilyn Monroe, I can do anything”) as her mantra.
  • Quote: “If Ana de Armas can be Marilyn Monroe, I can do anything.” – Paige (61:44)
• Looking Back with Humor:
  The episode closes out with the hosts reflecting on their evolving friendship, personal growth, and the unpredictability (and fun) of future episodes.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On Book Club Motivation:
  “My favorite thing is to say, well I read the book, and I haven’t been able to say it in about 15 years.” – Paige (05:14)

• The Art of Fainting Incognito:
  “Laying down on a cold strangers bathroom floor. Nothing like it… Some would say my whole life went flashing by me.” – Hannah (21:27)

• Men’s Bathroom Rituals:
  “They make it a ritual. They make it, like, main character energy. They take a whole business day.” – Hannah (27:49)

• Life Advice on Mistreatment:
  “If no one’s mean to you, you’re not doing enough.” – Hannah (33:19)

• Celebrating Women Award Show Hosts:
  “Because we are socially aware and we know how to be funny without, like, hurting people.” – Paige (35:33)

• Gas Station Sex Pills:
  “One thing we need less of is hard men. If you’re soft, you’re soft for a reason.” – Hannah (40:34)

• Hannah’s Weed Pen Misadventure:
  “I'm so dramatic about it, like, I'm about to do heroin for the first time.” – Hannah (58:15)

• Sisterhood Mantra:
  “If Ana de Armas can be Marilyn Monroe, I can do anything.” – Paige (61:44)

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Highlighted Segments

• Pop culture/book club talk (02:46–07:54)
• Pilates fainting story (15:21–23:32)
• Men’s bathroom rituals (27:20–31:44)
• Ashley Tisdale mom-group drama (08:55–12:00)
• Women award show hosts & media (35:17–37:45)
• Dick pills segment (40:22–41:07)
• Weed pen closet story (57:41–59:14)
• Mental health insights (32:07–34:14; 35:17–36:10; 61:44)

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Tone & Style

True to their brand, Hannah and Paige keep things fast-paced, irreverent, and packed with self-deprecating humor. Their conversational tangents bring a “best-friends-hanging-out” energy, all while subtly making smart observations about fame, womanhood, relationships, and how absurd life can be.

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For listeners and newcomers alike, this episode is chock full of laughs, relatable confessions, and moments of sharp, understated wisdom. Whether you’re here for the pop culture breakdowns, the inside jokes, or the oddly inspiring advice, “Giggling about fainting, dick pills, and weed pens” delivers classic Giggly Squad banter and then some.

Transcript

[Host/Advertiser]

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[Paige]

Gary, fix the Wi Fi.

[Hannah]

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

[Paige]

I mean, the day just got away from me.

[Hannah]

What's up my Galactic Gigglers? I'm saying, do I always say that?

[Paige]

Yeah, okay.

[Hannah]

Because someone ran up to me and they were like, what's up Galactic?

[Paige]

Well, you know what's funny is that the only word that pops into my head, and it's like, not gig. It's gone at all.

[Hannah]

It's OG word in the English language. Quote me.

[Paige]

It's quote me.

[Hannah]

Check it.

[Paige]

I want to bring something up immediately.

[Hannah]

Yeah. This is our first second episode.

[Paige]

Oh, ever. Oh, this is our first second episode. Yeah.

[Hannah]

And I came with a lot of notes because I was worried we'd forget what to say.

[Paige]

Hannah came with a lot of notes because we hung out yesterday, which was.

[Hannah]

Such a mistake, by the way. Hanging out with us is not fun because we will bring something up, start laughing. And then one of us goes, hold it. Save it for camera. Yeah. So then DEZ is sitting there like.

[Paige]

It'S also not fun hanging out with us if you're not us.

[Hannah]

I thought you could say in general.

[Host/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Paige]

In general. It's not because Des was around. Joe was around, and they were just, like, not speaking, and I was like, I'm performing with my friend right now.

[Hannah]

Also, my thing is, like, we're obviously laughing. Just add to the laugh. Just keep laughing with us.

[Paige]

Oh, no joke. Why don't you participate?

[Host/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Why don't tag it up?

[Paige]

But anyway, so we're hanging out with Hannah. We're laughing hysterically, and then something happens, and she, like, looks over at a table, and there's a book on the table, and. And she goes, surely someone has been in here, broken in, stolen your stuff, and you've been robbed it with other people's things.

[Hannah]

There was a Colleen Hoover book sitting on the table, which I know a man's not reading that book.

[Host/Advertiser]

I.

[Paige]

Here's the thing. Sorry. That I want to better myself in 2026. And I just was like, I don't read. I never read. I should read. And sometimes I get put on book talk. And a girl was like, this is the best book ever. And the only reason I picked the book I picked is because there's a movie coming out.

[Hannah]

This is my question. How much have you actually read it?

[Paige]

No, I just got it. When you saw it. It had just been delivered.

[Hannah]

I looked at it, looked up at her, and I looked at you. Like, I caught you doing Crystal Method. Like, I was like, do you want to talk about this? Like, does your family know? What kind of double life have you been living? Do I know who you are?

[Paige]

Hannah literally looks at it and goes, what the heck is.

[Hannah]

No, I got, like, disturbed. Because everything I know about you, I question now.

[Paige]

I'm like, I didn't know what you were talking about. And I was like, oh my God, what? And I was like, that's a book.

[Hannah]

Like, I don't know, I envisioned you, if you were to read it would be a picture book or a pop culture magazine or help self help or as we like to do, we just watch something on Netflix and put closed captions and that's reading.

[Paige]

You want to know what it, it really boils down to? I. I haven't felt this. I love feeling better than people.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

It's like one of my favorite feelings.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And I haven't felt that in a while. When it, when it comes to movies and books, one of my favorite things to say is, well, I read the book and I haven't been able to say it in about 15 years. And so I was like, oh, I know this movie's coming out. I'm gonna read the book. So that when I see the movie I can be like, well, it was a little different from the book.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Actually people who say that are so smart, but I'm that person. You know when they always go, oh, have you read the book? You have a couple options. Yeah. You can just say yes and lie and pray they don't have a follow up question. Or you say no and then they like explain the book to you, which you don't want either. Or, or you do what I do. And I go skimmed, skimmed, skimmed. I saw the first couple.

[Paige]

The last time I've legitimately been able to say, yeah, I read the book was the bridge to Terabithia in 2007.

[Hannah]

I never say when I was younger I was an avid reader, but my.

[Paige]

Mom read it to me. Everyone's like, what's the second episode going.

[Hannah]

To be the cool thing now it's kind of like, okay, it's like a PR thing for celebrities who are really good looking and want like respect. Like, you know how like Nickelodeon kids will like do like a slutty movie to be like, I'm an adult now.

[Paige]

What is that?

[Hannah]

It's rebranding, baby. Rebranding 101.

[Paige]

Why do they always. Why, why are people so mad when people grow up? Yeah, when like, like Sabrina Carpenter I feel like is like a really good example where she's like, I'm not on the Disney Channel.

[Hannah]

Also, people don't choose where they start. Like just cuz you start somewhere cuz that's your opportunity doesn't mean you. It's like should be engraved in people.

[Paige]

Like putting people in a box.

[Hannah]

Exactly. So there's all these like hot girls recently that are launching Book clubs to show that they can read.

[Host/Advertiser]

I love it.

[Hannah]

One of them, Kaya Gerber.

[Raj]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Another one, Olivia Ponton.

[Host/Advertiser]

Okay.

[Hannah]

All gorgeous, stunning models who are like, by the way, join my book club. And you're like, oh, she's multidimensional.

[Paige]

Are they meeting? Or this is like on the Internet.

[Hannah]

Let's be honest. I've never clicked into a book club.

[Paige]

Right. So you don't know the actual logistics.

[Hannah]

So. And the logistics stressed me out, so I'm not sure.

[Paige]

Maybe I'll join Kaia Grover's book club. You never know.

[Hannah]

Or maybe you. We're not doing a gigaby book club. We don't have the bandwidth. That's.

[Host/Advertiser]

That's. Actually.

[Paige]

Then I've really lost the plot.

[Hannah]

Actually, my mom, who's retired right now, has a book club. Actually, she has a knitting club and another club. She said knitting is the best gossip. Like, she gets there, all they do is gossip. And she couldn't go the last week. And she's like, I have so much to do.

[Host/Advertiser]

She's so behind.

[Hannah]

She's so behind on the gossip.

[Paige]

Wait, speaking of clubs, have you seen the Ashley Tisdale cut article?

[Hannah]

Like, that was the book I wanted to read this week. The cut article.

[Paige]

But I have the book I wanted to read.

[Hannah]

The cut has such small font. It.

[Host/Advertiser]

It.

[Hannah]

It intimidates me. I. Did you read the article?

[Paige]

I didn't read.

[Hannah]

I skimmed.

[Paige]

I skimmed it. I skimmed the article. I didn't read the full article.

[Hannah]

But.

[Paige]

But I read, like, a thing that did, like, a synopsis of it, and it was basically like, Ashley didn't say any names. She basically said how she felt after having a baby and then joining a mom club and how it eventually turned.

[Hannah]

Into a club or just like a friend group.

[Paige]

It was like a friend group. Look, I'm not like, fully abreast, like, I don't know, mom club situation, but I know that that is, like a real thing now.

[Hannah]

Like, did you have to get hazed to get in?

[Paige]

People will have, like, Facebook groups in their area. And it's like, if you live in, like, neighborhood, this is the group. And then you can, like, ask the moms different stuff.

[Hannah]

Stuff.

[Paige]

It sounds good. In theory, yes, but in reality, yeah. A friend group. That's why we only have each other as friends. Like, a friend group is so intense because there's just so many different personalities. Add in your hormonal. You, like, just had a baby.

[Hannah]

You hate your husband.

[Paige]

You probably hate your husband. So she writes this article, which actually I thought was. Is cool. Of the cut to, like, have different celebrities. Like, right.

[Hannah]

I love.

[Paige]

Yeah. Like, I think that's fun. So she writes this article. She basically. She does not say anyone's name. She does not say the reason, like, the main reason why she left. She puts it all on herself, like, that she didn't feel included. There were certain, like, situations where she felt left out.

[Hannah]

I didn't feel included is saying, like, I was bullied.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Hannah]

Hillary. This is our knitting club right now.

[Paige]

Hillary Duff's husband. First of all, no one's talking about the fact that we're talking about a feud between Ashley Tisdale Sharpay Evans and Hilary Duff Lizzie McGuire. Like, I don't think we're putting enough emphasis on that.

[Hannah]

Also, like, I didn't know Hillary Duff had a husband.

[Paige]

She has a husband. Yes, she has a husband and huge Hillary Duff fan. Love her.

[Hannah]

Love.

[Paige]

Really, like, love her stuff.

[Hannah]

She had a song come out. Let's go.

[Paige]

Love her work. I do think, and I feel the same way with, like, reality tv when the ladies get into fights, anytime a husband jumps in, I'm always like, no, no, no, no, it's not your. Like, you don't need to.

[Hannah]

Do you envision that? Like, he was talking to Hillary about it and, like, I was like, I'm just gonna post it or. Yeah. And like, maybe she felt a little hurt. And then he felt like, well, I.

[Paige]

Have to stick up for you.

[Hannah]

I'm gonna get involved.

[Noah]

I'm gonna.

[Paige]

He basically posted a comment that, like, was since deleted, but people obviously screenshotted it saying that Ashley Tisdale is like a narcissist, self centered and, like, that she was the problem. But Mandy Moore was in this group. There was one other famous person.

[Hannah]

Oh, the blonde. Meghan Trainor.

[Paige]

Meghan Trainor, yes.

[Hannah]

Look at us.

[Paige]

Like, I'm like, wait, what was this mom club like, though? What did you guys talk about before it failed?

[Hannah]

Okay, I have multiple thoughts. First of all, who did Ash, do you think Ashley got really hurt? And she was like, maybe other moms will relate to this. Relate?

[Paige]

Other moms have left mom groups.

[Hannah]

Yes, yes. But I guess at that level, you posting something and not naming names, people know it. People.

[Paige]

Look, people know. People know.

[Hannah]

And even if we may not know.

[Paige]

Right.

[Hannah]

But they know. And it was enough to cause a kerfuffle in the community.

[Paige]

Ashley writing the article.

[Hannah]

I have to read the article.

[Paige]

She knew what she was doing.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like, and I don't think it was a bad thing. She was hurt and she wanted to express that she was hurt.

[Hannah]

You know what this needs? A reunion. You can host it. Let's get the girls together and let's talk it out, you know, like adults.

[Paige]

You know what? Rather than reunions, I think we should start doing. And we'll bring this up to Hulu or Netflix or anyone who's interested. We should start doing more of, like, a Judge Judy thing.

[Hannah]

Okay, that's crazy you brought that up because you know how people always DM us with, like, issues and stuff. I'd love to, like, bring it on. And, like, they're fighting, and we. We will, like, pick sides.

[Paige]

After you said on the pod the other day, like, if you're going to DM Paige about your boyfriend, it's done. I got so many DMs, like, okay, I know I shouldn't be doing this, but just this one situation. What do you think? And I'm like, believe him.

[Hannah]

You. I feel like you were Judge Judy in another life.

[Paige]

Yeah. Because, yeah, I used to watch Judge of Judy all the time with my grandma.

[Hannah]

And when you, like, stayed home from.

[Paige]

School, I was just like, this gets it.

[Hannah]

By the way, back to my mom's book club. She said it's the funniest thing ever because they all drink during it.

[Paige]

So, like, so you read the book, and then you go to someone's house and you talk about the book.

[Hannah]

So. And you have, like, a month. It's once a month. So you have a month and, like, different people choose the book. So, like, she'll be like, oh, this month we're reading this, but now there's characters in this book club.

[Paige]

Are there any times where you're like, didn't read it?

[Hannah]

That's the thing. I'm not going to name names, but you know who you are.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

One of the moms is just there for. For the alcohol. But it is at her house, so everyone lets it go.

[Paige]

Like, she hosts.

[Hannah]

She hosts. But then every now and then, she gets a little too drunk and starts getting into opinions of the book. And they're like, we know you didn't read it. You've never read a book. And she's like, but I disagree with your opinion.

[Paige]

A classic 10th grade page.

[Hannah]

And, you know. And you know, guess who's the most fun? She is. She is. But her husband, Giggly Squad is built.

[Paige]

On having opinions with no knowledge.

[Hannah]

Actually, people have asked me opinions on, like, how to do reality tv, and I was like, you just have to have a strong opinion. Whether you care or not. That's how you're successful. Just get an opinion and lean into it even if you're wrong.

[Paige]

Even people asking, like, advice on podcasting, I'm like, I don't know what other people do, but I know that what we do we will find not suggested.

[Hannah]

So this book club, the. Her husband reads everything and loves it, and it's at their house, but she's, you know, drinking.

[Raj]

Oh, this is.

[Host/Advertiser]

This is.

[Hannah]

This is couples. Couples. So they all come.

[Paige]

Are your parents swingers?

[Hannah]

It's giving swinging season. It's middle of the day, too. And all these couples come together and they've read the book. And my mom, you know, she's a teacher. She's an avid reader. She's read it. She has an analysis.

[Paige]

She marks pages.

[Hannah]

My dad tries to. He always falls.

[Host/Advertiser]

Every.

[Hannah]

Every month I'm going to read it. He falls off. Which, you know, like many of us, it's where I get it from. So, yeah, book clubs, clubs, I think, are back. Bring clubs back.

[Paige]

Just trying to rack my brain on what club I would ever join. At the ripe age of 33, there's not a single club you could get me into right now.

[Hannah]

Actually, you're right. When I was younger, I did love, like, a volleyball club for socializing.

[Paige]

Yeah. You've been really going to, like, Pilates classes, though, and I feel like you have, like, friends there. Like, you know, the, like, whatever place you go to, you know, people there.

[Hannah]

Let's just say you're in a workout club. When I walk in, I get the.

[Paige]

You get a knock, I get a knot.

[Hannah]

And then someone's a little like. I'm like, yeah, the bathroom's over there. Like, I know what's going on.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

But I have to say, I did faint in my last Pilates class. No one knows because I'm. We're never telling.

[Paige]

Please tell this story because it's so me. I might know. When you told me this story, I was shocked.

[Hannah]

So I also. I think I. I hadn't eaten. And when I say I hadn't eaten, I think I just had one breakfast. Like, I think it was like, around lunchtime.

[Paige]

Like, all I had was a burrito. And then I had burrito.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So you had breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

[Hannah]

Yeah, and I showed up, but was feeling kind of hungry. But I was like, I could do this. And the teacher was tough.

[Paige]

So it's like a regular Pilates class, or is this like a Pilates? Like, Fusion?

[Hannah]

Okay. I've never done this kind. There's, you know, where there's the second machine. It's called, like, the Octagon or something. It's called, like, the guillotine. It's like. And it has, like, fur.

[Paige]

The one that has the bar thing.

[Hannah]

Yes. Yeah.

[Paige]

The fur things for your.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Handcuffs. And I was just like, I'm about to get up. Like, I knew it.

[Paige]

It's sponsored by UGG Australia.

[Hannah]

This is how I knew I was gonna get up. Because the teacher was, like, gorgeous, skinny, and pregnant.

[Paige]

I would have walked out. The motivation, just inside that woman's pinky. I could never relate.

[Hannah]

She had two abs above her belly. And she looked at me and I said, you're about. You're about to be disgusted by what's going to happen.

[Paige]

She was like, and how far along are you?

[Hannah]

And I was like, it was just a burrito. Wait.

[Paige]

Imagine you accidentally go to, like, a Lamaze Pilates class.

[Hannah]

What is that?

[Paige]

I mean, I made that up. But, like, Lamaze is like, when you go and, like, learn how to breathe when you like.

[Hannah]

Yes, yes.

[Paige]

I'm sure there's somewhere in California they have, like, Pilates slash Lamaze.

[Hannah]

You just know, like. And also, she was like, nine months, and she was just standing there, and it was like her fourth class of the day. And she's like, good morning.

[Raj]

How are you?

[Paige]

And I was like, just, like, by her head. She's like, how are you?

[Hannah]

She's stretching.

[Paige]

Take a seat anywhere.

[Hannah]

She was gorgeous to the point that I was going to ask her, like, what mascara she used. And I looked, and I'm like, oh, it's just her natural. Her natural eyelashes. So we start, and I was like.

[Paige]

Our class, 45 minutes.

[Hannah]

50 minutes. Yeah. And I was. I wanted her to be proud of me. Like, you know, some instructors, you're like, whatever. They think I suck. I don't care. For whatever reason, I wanted her to be proud of me. And I wanted her. I mean, she literally should be at home with her baby. And she's with me, so. And there was another girl in the class. So it ends up. It was supposed to be a full class, just two girls. So, you know. Yeah, I got intense.

[Paige]

You had a private Pilates class? Accidentally pregnant ladies.

[Hannah]

The pregnant lady was instructor.

[Paige]

Oh.

[Hannah]

And then the other girl was like, perfect.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

And me.

[Paige]

When you told me the story the other day, you made it seem like you were in a mat, like a big class, and no one saw you slip out to go pass out. I didn't realize it was you. And another person would. Were you just like, sorry, I have to go faint alone somewhere.

[Hannah]

Okay. So the first 30 minutes, you do at the guillotine.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

And I like, did okay. And I was like kind of feeling myself. Got a little cocky.

[Host/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Go to the second machine. And there's this thing called pikes. If you don't know what a pike is, it's a plank that then you bring your butt up in the air like a triangle and your head down. Yeah. And we just kept doing pikes, like, to the point where I was like, this is how I die.

[Paige]

And the blood's like rushing.

[Hannah]

Blood is rushing to my head. So I think I was like shaking my head. So then we get up and we have to put our leg on this wooden. This is. The contraptions are being. I was like, who What? Sick. Invented this?

[Paige]

It's a guy invented Pilates.

[Hannah]

Joe. Joseph.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So it's this.

[Paige]

Is that his name? Joseph Pilates.

[Hannah]

Joseph Pilates. He's Italian. No, I'm just kidding. Joey. Pilates. So it's this wooden thing. Have you ever seen that swivels? So you have to put your foot on this thing that swivels and then put your leg on the machine and try to keep your foot from swiveling. That threw me into a tailspin. I felt really out of control. And the next thing you know, I started to get lightheaded. And by the way, it's me and one other girl. She's. And also, it was the kind of thing where, like, you know when you want to do it right, but you literally can't. And then the instructor's like, lifting. I'm like, I know what I should be doing. I literally can't do this right now.

[Paige]

So I'm like, also, once one body part starts shaking, you're like. And I'm done for it. Like, you can't. I can't undo that.

[Hannah]

Also, body parts are shaking that aren't even working hard. So I'm like fully like a. A baby deer just trying to do this exercise. And then I think I. I scared myself cuz I was like, I'm scared. And then I got lightheaded. And then I started having like a mini panic attack.

[Paige]

And then, you know, because you're scared you're gonna pass out. Yeah.

[Hannah]

And then, you know when you're watching yourself have a panic attack, Y. Looking around like, you're like, no one's.

[Paige]

Noticing that inside I'm dying. No, there's some. Did your vision go? That's always like my first thing.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it all was like. So in that moment, I had a bunch of different voices. I said, hannah, suck it up. You're doing Pilates.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

A pregnant lady is bossing around. You could do this. Then a part of me was like, call 911, call the police.

[Paige]

You just start smiling like Lenore. You're like, it hurts less if you smile.

[Hannah]

Do you know what I actually did? Now I remember because I blacked it out. I started just messing with my socks. I started getting off the machine. Just messing with my socks.

[Paige]

Yeah, like, oh, I'm just like fixing something.

[Hannah]

Yeah, my sock is like off.

[Host/Advertiser]

Did you have.

[Hannah]

Yeah, but it was also like the other girl was fine.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I mean the other girl was like breezing. She was like, this is easy. So I mess with both my socks. I've ran out of sock options. I can't think of another sock to mess with. And I know the instructor. It's not like I'm in a big class.

[Paige]

Finance bro should come out with a line of socks and name it Sock options. Like stock options. Anyway, email me later about it. Okay, so you're like, I've fiddled with enough socks. I need a game plan here.

[Hannah]

So I just go. I have to go to the bathroom. Yeah.

[Paige]

So how many minutes are left in the class at this point?

[Hannah]

You know when you don't even.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

You're like, I don't add another hour. I think there was like 20 minutes left. Okay, so I go to the bathroom, I shut the door and I just fall on the floor. Yeah. Best feeling of my life. Yeah. Laying down on a cold strangers bathroom floor. Nothing like it. I mean, I was at peace for the first time in my life. Some would say my whole life went flashing by me. I saw me as a child playing with butterflies.

[Paige]

Now imagine having a D1 redhead saying, oh, do you feel like you're going to pass out? Head towards the stage in that exact moment and you're like, all I want is a tile floor.

[Hannah]

I'm lying there and I'm just, I'm getting my breath. And in that moment, I know if I can get it together pretty quick, I still can get out of this without making a scene.

[Paige]

Like, why wouldn't you just say, guys, I'm going to literally pass out?

[Hannah]

Because I have. That is such a great question. I could not admit that, like I was falling apart.

[Paige]

Interesting.

[Hannah]

That's my childhood.

[Paige]

See, okay.

[Hannah]

Because then I'm. I'm not a good person.

[Paige]

This is where we're different. When something traumatic happens to us, you're like, no, it didn't. No one noticed it. I'll deal with it later. Where I'm like, this in 10 years, people should be arrested because I'm feeling attacked.

[Hannah]

Well, it's funny. You're like, they're the problem. Where me, I'm like, I'm the problem.

[Paige]

And I immediately, like, you're the problem.

[Hannah]

I'm. I'm the one who has an issue. So I'm laying down and then I realize, like, I can tell her I have my period. Like, I start coming up with all these lies. Like, God forbid I just say, I got lightheaded in your class. I'm sorry. I'm like, I have a reputation uphold in this town. So I. I get up and I start washing my hands, and I realize when I feel okay. Okay. Like, I think, you know how like.

[Paige]

Cold water actually on your wrist probably.

[Hannah]

I also feel like I didn't go into a full panic attack. You know when you feel it coming on and you're like, not today. I've had that before. Where you feel it and then you go, I can get out of it now. And I wish I could give you guys good advice besides laying on the bathroom floor. But that's what did it for me. Yeah, get back. Like, nothing happened. Just kept going.

[Paige]

Wow, you just had like. Then you were just like, dehydrated. You weren't like, I'm starving, having.

[Hannah]

I ate a French fry, came back.

[Paige]

Wait, did you tell your mom this story?

[Hannah]

No, I don't want her being worried about me.

[Paige]

Oh, my God.

[Hannah]

But she'll call me afterwards. She'll call me afterwards and I would be like, mom, that's why I have to eat seven meals a day, so I don't faint.

[Paige]

And that's why I don't go to Pilates anymore, you know? But anyway, anyhow, on ebay, every find has a story.

[Host/Advertiser]

Like, if you're looking for a vintage band tea.

[Paige]

And not just any tea, the band T from the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere.

[Host/Advertiser]

Then maybe your boyfriend stole it.

[Paige]

Or your girlfriend, and they started wearing it, which was cute until they dumped you or unfriended you, which was not so cute.

[Host/Advertiser]

Anyway, now you're on ebay.

[Paige]

And there it is.

[Host/Advertiser]

The same tea from the same tour, still living in your memory, rent free forever. See, the things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But ebay isn't just forgetting whatever your ex stole back.

[Paige]

It's also for the rare championship foul.

[Host/Advertiser]

Ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid neck of.

[Paige]

And where else are you going to.

[Host/Advertiser]

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[Paige]

Get back home for good this time.

[Host/Advertiser]

Shop ebay for millions of finds, each with a story.

[Paige]

EBay. Things people love. Coming off the holiday season, I've been trying to make better choices in the new year.

[Hannah]

That makes one of us. No, I'm just kidding. I'm also trying to make good choices.

[Paige]

But I'm still always in need of a soda moment. Like, I. I need a fizz. And there are certain foods that you eat where you're like, yeah, sorry, let me crack a cold one. It's a Chinese food. I love the poppy ginger fizz also.

[Hannah]

You know me, I don't drink soda except poppy. I really love the orange cream. It's fun even as, like, a little dessert, like, after a long day.

[Paige]

Can I also say, when you open your refrigerator, like, if someone comes over and you're like, oh, my God, can I get you a drink? And they're like, yeah, sure. And you open it and you have like, all different poppies. Watch the person get so excited. I literally, I'm Martha Stewart. I'm impressed. I have every poppy flavor you could ever have ever.

[Hannah]

You also color cord them.

[Paige]

And don't get me started when they match my outfit. And then we. And then we're done. It's also perfect if you're trying to do dry January or if you just need like a reset.

[Hannah]

Have a fun drink, have a poppy and feel better.

[Paige]

Find poppy at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. Poppy soda's back, but so much better. Amazon One Medical presents painful thoughts.

[Hannah]

I've been on hold to make a.

[Raj]

Doctor'S appointment for 23 minutes now. The automated voice has told me 47 times that my call is very important to them. I'm starting to think that they don't think my call is important at all.

[Paige]

With Amazon One Medical 24. 7 Virtual Care, you'll get help fast without having to remain on the line to make an appointment. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Hannah]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah.

[Raj]

And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[Noah]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[Raj]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[Noah]

We'Ll be talking to experts in their Fields who are definitely doing things right. So the rest of us can be a bit. Bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[Raj]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Noah]

And for the first time ever, we're gonna have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're gonna be right here to help you do them better.

[Hannah]

Love y'. All. Oh, wait, can we just.

[Host/Advertiser]

Can we.

[Hannah]

You have something? Well, I just want to talk about men.

[Paige]

Yeah, we built a whole career on.

[Hannah]

It, and I feel like this is one thing we haven't talked about. Men, which is hard to find, but their bathroom.

[Paige]

Their bathroom breaks.

[Hannah]

Their bathroom breaks. Because I didn't realize this was a thing. Yeah, some men are fast with it, but there is an epidemic out there when. When men take poops, they make it a rich.

[Host/Advertiser]

A ritual.

[Hannah]

A ritual. They make it, like, main character energy. They take a whole business day.

[Paige]

They put it, like, on their calendar.

[Hannah]

You, like, can't contact them during it.

[Paige]

And they also. They do this thing where they, like, slip away. Like, you know, like, they're like, I'll be right back.

[Hannah]

Like, they.

[Paige]

And you're like, okay.

[Hannah]

And then four hours go by, and.

[Paige]

You'Re like, wait, what happened in there?

[Hannah]

And I feel like mothers probably deal with this where, like, you have kids running around and your husband disappears because he has to poop, which, I'm gonna.

[Paige]

Be honest, I can't tell you the last time I took a reg, I.

[Hannah]

Should wake up in the stool. How nice must it be?

[Paige]

It's so easy being a man. Like, they're regulated. There's. Their hormones are never going.

[Hannah]

But this is the thing. They're not, like, in my head, it's like, oh, they're taking, like, these huge, massive poops that take forever. I don't.

[Paige]

Look, they're on their phone.

[Hannah]

They're on their phone.

[Paige]

They're just getting away from.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Which, yes, that's what I did during Pilates. But men do it all the time. I even think, like, at work, like, they're. First of all, they're getting paid more anyway. And then they're spending two hours in the back bathroom at work, which I.

[Paige]

Do commend anyone that can go to the bathroom in a public place. Like, talk about having a panic attack. I'll have to lay on the floor. Like, I remember growing up even being in school. Like, I've went home sick before. Because I'm like, mom, I really just have to go to the bathroom.

[Hannah]

So I'm in the school. I'm in a lot of public bathrooms. Yeah. Wait, I love that you had to go home to or to pee.

[Paige]

There are so many times in high school like, that my mom would be at work and I would call my grandma and I'd be like, you have to call the school. And she'd be like, I'm not even your mom.

[Hannah]

And I call now my head. Public bathrooms. Like, that's where I go off. Like, I'm not disrespecting.

[Paige]

No. I get too, like, nervous.

[Hannah]

I also feel like that's what bathrooms are for. And I have to like. But also, I don't. I can't hold it in. Yeah. I'm just. I can't be fake. Sorry. I can't be fake.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So I'm a real one. But I also. I don't know, I feel like with the, the men with the bathroom, it's. They get respect when they, like, you give them respect.

[Paige]

It's like football Sundays.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

You're like, oh, sorry.

[Hannah]

My mom had to use the bathroom with the door open just in case a kid, like, wanted to jump off a table.

[Paige]

Right. Literally. I couldn't even as a child. I can't even remember my mom using the bathroom.

[Hannah]

Wasn't allowed.

[Paige]

I don't think she ever showered. I think for 14 years, the woman stayed unshowered and never peed.

[Hannah]

My recent issue, because I have a lot of public. I'm always in airports. I'm all, I'm at restaurant, whatever. I always run into a giggler in the bathroom. Stop. It happens every day. And also, I'm always talking so everyone's like, we can hear you.

[Paige]

I was going to say, you're always talking so people can recognize your voice. Where I feel like when I'm out, they're like, is that.

[Hannah]

Is it?

[Paige]

And I'm like, yes.

[Hannah]

And also, if I'm with Des, he's like big and white haired, so he's like a shining light and everyone sees him. But like, even yesterday at the Pilates class in the bathroom. Well, first of all, I can't find the bathroom. I'm like walking down the hallways and someone's like, hey, I'm a giggler. The bathroom is over here, you dumb. And I was like, I love you. Thank you.

[Paige]

Did you go. Did you tell her that you fainted in it?

[Hannah]

That was pre faint.

[Host/Advertiser]

Got it.

[Hannah]

Now that I think about it.

[Paige]

So when you went back into the Room did it. The pregnant instructor or the other girl taking the class be like, are you okay?

[Hannah]

No, I didn't make eye contact. I just kept going, oh.

[Paige]

So they had no idea?

[Hannah]

No. Okay. Actually, it's funny, my memory. They probably were like, yeah, that girl had a full breakdown mid class and then didn't say anything. But, no, I go into the bathroom before the class, and this giggler was, like, so nice. We were laughing, having fun. And then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go in the stall. And then we have to, like, use the bathroom next to each other. And obviously, it's like pre Pilates. You got to get stuff out. And I'm like, oh, my God, am I ruining.

[Paige]

Oh, my God.

[Hannah]

I was cool. And then I, like, farted in the bathroom.

[Paige]

She's texting friend. She was like, I just met Hannah, and she's next.

[Hannah]

Everyone has a. If you have a bathroom story with me, that's a. I don't know. I think it's a beautiful connection.

[Paige]

Wait, I was just looking at our notes, and sometimes, like, Grace will write notes, too. Like, oh, this was, like, funny. I saw. Like, you guys should talk about it. But she wrote a note, and I'm like, wait.

[Hannah]

I'm like, I was writing in Grace's notes. Oh.

[Paige]

Because I was like, this is so not Grace. She wrote, when people mistreat you, it's because they think you're better than them and they want to bring you down to their level. No matter how much status or power they have, they are insecure. You going to. I literally read, and I was like, grace would never.

[Hannah]

First of all, Grace doesn't care what other people think about her at all. At all. I. That was our mental health moment.

[Paige]

Oh, okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it, but what a word salad. Because I was really. I almost texted Grace this morning, like, hey, is everything good at home?

[Hannah]

No, it was. People mistreat you. No matter. Seriously. But when you're treated bad, you. You sometimes don't realize that it is just them projecting on you, and. But then, you know, when you're treated bad by, like, a boss or someone who's, like, considered, you know, higher status or cooler. Like in high school, some. Someone who thinks they're cool is mean to you, and you actually realize it's because they see something in you that you don't see in yourself, and they're insecure and they want to bring you down, and that's honestly the biggest compliment ever. And now that I think every time I felt Someone was mean to me. I'm like, that was a compliment.

[Paige]

Yeah, it is. It really is.

[Hannah]

Like, if no one's mean to you, like, you're not doing enough.

[Paige]

Yeah, if no one's mean to you, it sounds like you're being mean to people. Oh, you're the meanie.

[Hannah]

You're the meanie.

[Paige]

I saw a quote that was like, I don't think I'm better than you. You think I'm better than you, and that's why you hate everything I do. And that I was like. Like, oh, my God. Yes.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God. Well, also, at the end of the day, most people aren't thinking about you, so everyone needs to come. Not in general, other people, how they think about you. It's like they're worrying about.

[Paige]

That's why I like themselves, actually. Not to bring it back to Pilates, but whenever I do go to a Pilates class, like, or any workout class or, like, just the gym, I'm like, going in, I'm like, oh, my God, everyone's looking at me because I'm doing it wrong. Or like, everyone is so, like, judging me or whatever, but they're not. Because everyone's thinking about themselves.

[Hannah]

Exactly.

[Paige]

And it's like, no one's thinking about me because I'm thinking about me.

[Hannah]

Exactly. And our last mental health moment of the day, which Grace actually did write Chelsea Handler. Oh, no, I had another one I.

[Paige]

Added, why are you writing under Grace? Like, as well.

[Hannah]

Grace wrote something kind of inspirational, and then I wanted to keep it all together. Look, don't. Don't worry about my methods. The methods to my madness.

[Host/Advertiser]

This.

[Hannah]

This is a real mic drop, okay? How can it be unrealistic if other people have it?

[Paige]

I reposted that on Tick Tock.

[Hannah]

Oh, sorry. Oh, so you actually wrote it?

[Paige]

Yeah, I wrote it.

[Hannah]

The last one. Shout out to Chelsea Handler, who just.

[Paige]

That just made me think of, like, that's why you like saying, oh, I read the book. Because it feels like you wrote it. Like, like you wouldn't get it because you haven't read this masterpiece. You've only experienced the movie.

[Hannah]

I wrote it with the author. It was a co wrote.

[Paige]

It feels like it was a collab. I was asked, like, what I wanted to put in.

[Hannah]

You're like, I'm the only person that's ever read this book.

[Paige]

Okay, sorry. Keep going.

[Hannah]

Chelsea said, we neglect to reflect about how far we've come. Don't forget your younger self is always with you. So that's just a cute moment.

[Paige]

Also, I think the world isn't giving enough credit to now only women host award shows.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Because we are socially aware and we know how to, like, be funny without, like, hurting people.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Hannah]

Because we have empathy.

[Paige]

I can't wait to watch Nikki Glazer do Golden Globes again.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Chelsea could do in her sleep. Nikki can do it in her sleep. It's true.

[Paige]

I'm so. I'm so anxious to see who they get for the Oscars because I also feel like no one is even. Like, I haven't seen any articles or headlines or anything about how, like, women are dominating hosting.

[Hannah]

I would say Amy Poehler, except Amy's too busy. Like, Amy doesn't want to still talk.

[Paige]

About Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.

[Hannah]

I know.

[Paige]

Hosting or presenting.

[Hannah]

See, they're exhausted. They're like, we can't do this all the time. But you know what I also don't like the Oscars. Is a man. They get a man for the Oscars and the two smallest award shows they give to the women.

[Paige]

Oh, I never thought of that because, like, the last guy I can think of hosting the Oscars, Conan last Oscars. Oh, he did?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I don't remember that.

[Hannah]

We were busy.

[Paige]

Do a good job.

[Hannah]

We were busy during that week. I think. Well, cone is likable. Like, Conan's fine.

[Paige]

He wasn't doing stand up time. A guy hosted it when I was like, like, he was funny. Was like Ricky Gervais. They loved and they, like, would never have him back.

[Hannah]

They like Jimmy Kimmel. They like Trevor Noah. But, sir, did I black out?

[Paige]

When the hell did Trevor Noah holds the Oscars? I don't remember that.

[Hannah]

There was a time where he hosted, like, every award show. He was like, the guy. But by the way, hosting an award show is, I couldn't imagine, is very difficult. I think Chelsea's so good at it because she knows everyone for so long. Like. Yeah. So it's. It's so much easier saying a joke to your friend. Yeah. Than a joke to someone who you're literally like, I can't believe I'm making eye contact with this person.

[Paige]

I just think it's funny that, like, when the men do host, it's like, oh, my God, Kevin Hart's hosting. Oh, my God, Kevin Hart said no to hosting. And, like, there's no. It's never, like, a big deal.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

About, like, people. I really feel like didn't make a big enough deal that it was Nikki's first time ever hosting an award show. Yeah.

[Hannah]

And she crushed it.

[Paige]

And she crushed it. Yeah, like, if that was a guy, they'd be like, he is just the.

[Hannah]

Best host, the best stand up of all time. Have you seen the Cher interview? She comes out of nowhere now we've said it and just lays down the law. I'm obsessed with her.

[Paige]

If you haven't seen the clip, shares on the. What is the name of Daksha armchair expert on Dax Shepard's podcast, which people love? He does have a great podcast. He always has, like, good, interesting guests and stuff. And so Kristen Bell was on and Cher was on and they were talking about, like, how what a good relationship they have because they did like the movie Burlesque. And then Dax asked Cher, who would be your dream guy for Kristen? Like, who do you think would be better suited with her?

[Hannah]

Which is him basically saying, I know that you think, yeah, I'm not good enough.

[Paige]

And he did say. He was like, I know you think she could do better, which I don't disagree with. But who in your head would you, like, think and share was like, I have no idea. Like, I have not thought of a specific person. But then she goes, I trust Kristen so much that if she loves you, there must be something about you that I'm not seeing. Which is.

[Hannah]

Incredible.

[Paige]

If I was Dax, I would have been like, okay. And I gotta go.

[Hannah]

Because she's basically saying, if you don't have the greatest dick alive, which you probably don't, you should not be with her. But also, I love that. I feel like he was too scared to have her on alone. He needed to bring Kristen because she's like, close with her.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

To do a one on one.

[Paige]

No, I do think it, like, I feel like Kristen was like, like, oh, shoot. Like, like, is she gonna say an actual person? Like, you could tell that Kristen got like a little anxious, which, like, obviously. And then when Cher said it, she like laughed and was like, that was great. And they were like, clip this.

[Hannah]

This isn't directly pointed at Dax because we love men in the arts. But I just have to say a shout out in general for of all.

[Paige]

The men that have podcasts, I do enjoy, Like, I've listened to his. I do enjoy his the most of sometimes it's like too guyish. And I'm almost like, I don't even understand that reference. I think I don't even know what the. You're talking about Philippians. Like, okay, what is the air conditioning?

[Hannah]

I almost got stuck in a conversation where men were talking about air conditioning. And I was like, I need to get the out of here.

[Paige]

You know what isn't talked about enough is that you can get, like, boner pills. Like the gas station, like, oh, okay. There's tax on tampons. But let's make sure you can get hard at 7:11. That's inappropriate.

[Hannah]

Yeah, one thing we need less of is hard men. If you're soft, you're soft for a reason. That's the universe. Sorry. Whatever happened to Darwinism? You think Darwinism wanted dick pills at 7 11?

[Paige]

No, no, actually, guys say that like, they're really dangerous. You should not take this. Because once I saw them and I was like, what is that?

[Hannah]

What if I accidentally took it because I thought it was like. Like for uti?

[Paige]

I don't think it would do anything.

[Hannah]

We'll see. We don't try it later. We'll keep you guys.

[Paige]

Cannon, Paige, Tricialis.

[Host/Advertiser]

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[Paige]

Now, results will vary. Not all bills or subscriptions eligible. Savings not guaranteed. $631 a year average savings with one plus negotiations and one plus cancellations paid. Membership with connected payment account required. See experian.com for details.

[Host/Advertiser]

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[Hannah]

With men, older men who do plastic surgery, there's like another level of sickness to it when it comes out. Like it doesn't look good. Because I'm like, first of all, you don't even have societal standards making you have bad plastic surgery. Like, women who have bad plastic surgery. I'm like, let her live. Yeah, she's doing her best. When men get bad plastic surgery, I'm like, you didn't even need this and you it up. How did we get here, bro? And some of you.

[Paige]

Are you referring to anyone specific? Because I have one person in my head.

[Hannah]

Not kind of. There's just some guys who are older and looking funky, like, they haven't figured it out yet. Bradley Cooper.

[Paige]

I feel like he did something and I'm like, they messed it up a little. You're just something slightly off.

[Hannah]

As someone who loves the look of an older man.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I want to see those wrinkles. I want to see the pain you've been through in your life.

[Paige]

Like, 30 years. He's so like.

[Hannah]

But yeah, Bradley would be so hot as an older, chiseled, tired man.

[Raj]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like, I would say, you don't need.

[Hannah]

To be fresh faced at 62.

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

Especially as a man. If you're fresh faced at 62, you didn't work.

[Paige]

No, I.

[Hannah]

And I want some grays.

[Paige]

I want salt and pepper hair.

[Hannah]

I want you to walk kind of slower.

[Paige]

I want you to have, like, a.

[Host/Advertiser]

Limp because you need a hip replacement.

[Paige]

I want you to not be that quick so I can get away.

[Hannah]

I need to. Someone said flirting in your 30s is like, so is your lower back.

[Raj]

Okay, wait.

[Paige]

People don't talk about how intimate it is being like, where's your pain? Do you have sciatica yet?

[Hannah]

How's your L4?

[Paige]

What is up with men loving sciatica?

[Hannah]

It's.

[Paige]

I feel like that's, like, a word they learned and they just have been running with it.

[Hannah]

It's like crypto. No, because the body version. Crypto.

[Paige]

I've heard the word sciatica ever in my life, and I feel like in the past two years, I've had multiple men that I don't even really know that they're like my sciatica, like, exactly. What is that?

[Hannah]

Also when you're like, younger, Remember Ariana Grande almost said Ariana, she dyed her hair brown. Thank God.

[Paige]

Yep.

[Hannah]

But Ariana said, you know, you got me walking side to side. So when you're younger, if, like, if anything feels anything after, you're like, oh, he blew my brains out. Where now it's like my alert.

[Paige]

Oh, that's what that means.

[Hannah]

Yeah. He's got me walking side to side. What did you Think it meant?

[Paige]

I'd have no idea. Like, I thought it just rhymed, like.

[Hannah]

Side to side.

[Paige]

Whatever the line.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I don't like to look into the lyrics, really.

[Hannah]

I mean, thank God we did a.

[Paige]

Personal thing for them.

[Hannah]

Thank God we did it. The stuff that we were singing when we were nine years old. Did you watch any of the New Year's stuff?

[Paige]

Do you know that this is the first year I didn't. And I was home. Like, I didn't go out this year for New Year's, and it was the first time I didn't watch any New Year's Eve.

[Hannah]

Like, why do you think? And how does that make you think?

[Paige]

Why do I think?

[Raj]

I think.

[Paige]

Well, I. I think it's so. It's for older people. And I do feel like, traditional. Like, tv.

[Host/Advertiser]

Like, if.

[Paige]

Okay, here's a great example. If Netflix had one.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

Like, if Netflix had a New Year's Eve thing and it was like. Like a bunch of celebrities that. I know who they are and they're famous right now currently, I probably would have watched it. But sometimes, like, like, traditional news places that do, like, a New Year's Eve thing every year, they have so much, so many rules. Because it's like, yeah, this is network tv. Like, you can't say that. There could be kids watching or, like, we have laws and stuff like that. So it's just, like, not as unhinged as I feel like it could be.

[Hannah]

I. I like to play. There's, like, the CNN one. There's the CBS and then ABC or something. I don't know. But it. And anyone would go to commercial. Then I go the other one. And then it was like, that one's in a commercial. And then I was like, I do.

[Paige]

Like, getting whiplash secretly. Ryan Seacrest and Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper are, like, in a group chat, like, the day before New Year's Eve. Like, you're going down. Like, you know, like, I do like to think that there's some type of funny.

[Hannah]

Because they are filming right now next to each other. Right. They're in Times Square. I think also booking the gig.

[Paige]

They're probably. Now that I think about it, there's just so many studios. They're probably in this. Are they in the same building? They could be.

[Hannah]

See, that's the reality I want to watch. But I. I feel like also it's a hard gig to book. Like, because who wants to be performing on New Year's Eve on New Year's Eve in the freezing cold in Times Square.

[Raj]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

People Are they rip people apart if they lip sync and if they don't lip sync.

[Paige]

Okay, I have a really hot take. That is probably gonna be rude. If you go to Times Square and you're not hosting the New Year's Eve show, you're there as a patron of the Times Square New Year's Eve. You should not be allowed to vote, Paige, because in what world do you have the same common sense or reasoning as the rest of America pages or Bo?

[Hannah]

Those are the people I was talking about last episode, which you guys can. Can listen to if you haven't on Monday about some people just enjoy what events.

[Paige]

I mean, what the was that?

[Hannah]

Imagine, like, being so excited to be like, I'm gonna go to Times Square for New Year's and stand there. It's gonna be awesome. Like, I wish I could get a high from that. These people are jacked up. Like, it brings some joy.

[Paige]

No, there's something amiss going on there.

[Hannah]

You think they're AI.

[Paige]

Yeah, there's something weird happening. You're you telling me there's that many people that electively. It's freezing, and you can't. Once you leave, you can't come back. So you're not only signing up for it to be freezing for hours, but you're also going to give yourself a.

[Hannah]

UTI 100% that some. They're just spreading. Like, what are they?

[Paige]

They literally interviewed the front row, and they were like, I've been here, and I'm wearing a diaper. And the one guy was like, I'm wearing a paddle. And everyone in the comments was like.

[Hannah]

You don't have to.

[Paige]

No, that's not. You've peed your pants. Yeah, like, no pad in the world is soaking up peeing your pants.

[Hannah]

Not to be, like, an annoying New Yorker, but I used to live don't for jealous right by Times Square in Hell's Kitchen. And at one point, like, I had to get to my place. And they were like, you can't go. Because it was like, the day. And I was like, no, I live there. They're like, you can't cross this. And I'm like, I can't get to my house. And it was, like, took, like, 30 minutes of talking to different cops to try to get to my apartment because my ID said, like, an old apartment from the year before. And it was. I, like, couldn't get home.

[Paige]

Don't get me started on the parades.

[Host/Advertiser]

In New York City.

[Paige]

The amount of times I've been like, but I live here, and they're like, no.

[Hannah]

Also, I had a epiphany the other day that sometimes. Sometimes I'm annoying. I think that's, like, in your 30s, you start realizing, like, in what context? Just, like, you have flaws, and that's okay. I think your 20s, you're trying to be perfect. Yeah.

[Paige]

Then you'd be like, I don't have any.

[Hannah]

I don't have flaws. Then you're trying to, like, hide your flaws.

[Host/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Then by your 30s, you're like, yeah, that's me. Like, I'm so annoying about being from New York. Like, I was talking to someone the other day, and I could just hear myself talking, and I was like, shut up. Like, I just got my driver's license. Like, I can't function anywhere but New York.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Yeah. And, like, just, like, normalizing, being like, oh, that's an annoying side of me that, like, we'll work on that.

[Paige]

Like, New York is your personality.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I'm trying to think what's, like, the most annoying thing I've done recently that I've, like, clocked? Like, wow, that's annoying.

[Hannah]

As I feel like, in your 20s, you ignore it. Where your 30s, you're more open to.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Hannah]

You're like, I'm evolving.

[Paige]

There's so many more times in my 30s that in my head I've been like, like, yeah, I handled that wrong. That was on me.

[Hannah]

And that's maturity.

[Paige]

And that was a thing to say. Or like, that was just, like, a rude thing to do. We're in my 20s. I'd be like, get over it.

[Hannah]

Can I just say something, though? Like, I know we joke that you're mean and rude to everyone. You've never. You've never been rude to me.

[Paige]

No. It's kind of like a Persona that, like. Well, you want to know what?

[Hannah]

You've never even got mad at me before.

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

And you're always like, oh, I got mad about this. You've never gotten, like, mad. Yeah.

[Host/Advertiser]

Because that's.

[Raj]

I love you.

[Hannah]

You okay? You're like. You get away with so much.

[Paige]

Wait. Oh, my God.

[Hannah]

I didn't even.

[Paige]

This is so long ago. And I forgot to bring it up on the pod.

[Hannah]

What?

[Paige]

So a couple weeks ago, there was. You know when randomly on Tik Tok, everyone was getting, like, videos that, like, they were like, I saw this last week, or, like, I saw this last month or whatever.

[Hannah]

That happens all the time.

[Paige]

I was going through that, and there was a Tik Tok that I had seen before, and I. I must have seen it in, like, the middle of the night because I didn't comment on it. And I, like, wanted to. This girl made this tick tock and she was like, just, like, very obvious that Paige loves Hannah so much more than Hannah loves Paige. And she wasn't even being, like, mean in it. And she was like, this is why I think this. Like, I just don't think. And she goes like all these explanations.

[Hannah]

Wait, what did she say?

[Paige]

I want to know. I have to find it.

[Hannah]

But they're like the way Hannah looks at Paige sometimes.

[Paige]

And I comment it, and I was like that.

[Hannah]

Oh, so you're like, yeah, but no, no.

[Paige]

People, like, don't think that we would be friends because we're so different. But what people don't realize is that I don't feel comfortable with people like you. And that's exactly it.

[Hannah]

I'm like, I don't feel shame. Trust someone who don't trust. When I see someone who moves like me, you go, I don't need that energy in my life.

[Raj]

No.

[Paige]

But I think it's a self awareness thing where I'm like, I'm annoying about certain things that I should not be annoying about, like clothes and shoes and, like, I have to. Where you don't. You don't care about that stuff. So it's almost like an escape of my own brain to be with you.

[Hannah]

That's why we're with men. Because occasionally you have something that's like, like pissing you off. And then you say to them and their perspective helps us. Yeah, like, we need that occasionally. But also with you, there was a second where I'm like, why does she like me? And then I met one of, like, your old childhood friends who's like, just like me too. You like to surround yourself with, like, people who don't take themselves too seriously. Your brother is also like me.

[Paige]

Who did you meet of my childhood friends?

[Hannah]

Stephanie.

[Paige]

Oh, yeah?

[Podcast Marketer]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, she's like, She's a personality. It's not like, like, all your friends are a type of way. And I'm like a cold sore. Except that one dinner you brought me to, and I was like, hi, guys.

[Paige]

If anything, I really don't have any. I would say the closest girlfriend that I have that is like, exactly like me. No, I don't have any.

[Hannah]

Do you know what's so funny, too? All my friends growing up were always, like, the pretty, girly, like, hot girl. And I would, like, live vicariously through all her, like, voice stories because I was scared.

[Paige]

Do you know that growing up, my best friend from literally kindergarten to college. Literally my whole life. She was like, number one on the softball. She's number one on the basketball team. And I was just like, yeah, she's a athlete.

[Hannah]

And you know that about her.

[Paige]

And you weren't competing. Yeah, because I was like, oh, my God, look at her go where she didn't give a shit about.

[Hannah]

Can I tell you my best friend in high school? Well, I got to high school in junior year, halfway through junior year, because I transferred from a tennis academy. So middle junior year, I show up to Beacon High School, raised my hand in a class, like, crazy behavior. And after the class, the most beautiful girl in the class, like, high cheekbones, blue eyes, comes up to me, and she's just like, you don't have anywhere to go to lunch with, do you? And you go out to lunch at Beacon. Like, it's, like, cool. Like, it's a whole thing. And I was like, no. She takes notes to lunch. Immediately, I'm like, you're my favorite person in the world. That's nice thing ever. And then fast forward a couple months later, she pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking. You remember? Yeah. And I literally take her cigarette and I throw it at. It's literally so me and you. Because she was just, like, a bad girl. And she's like, oh, this guy, whatever. And I'm like, get this cigarette.

[Paige]

You're gonna die.

[Hannah]

And she's like, oh, like, we're so different. But, like, we just loved each other. And she'd be waiting at my locker every day.

[Paige]

My favorite moment is just, like, watching you try and smoke weed.

[Hannah]

Wait, can I tell a story that I don't think we ever had told that happened on reality tv? Me smoking weed. Everyone had, like, there was a weed pen going around at one point.

[Paige]

Yes, it was mine. Yeah, it wasn't going around. I was just hitting it.

[Hannah]

And we, for some reason, were, like, hiding in a closet.

[Paige]

Yep, it was. It was me, you, and Amanda. You had just come home from somewhere, and something were in the closet.

[Hannah]

Something like, I was really. You were upset. And I remember you being like, hannah, just hit this.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I'm like, okay, fine. And I'm so dramatic about it. Like, I'm about to do heroin for the first time. I put up to my mouth. No idea what to do. No idea what to do. Not doing it right. Don't even know how to do it. Was trying to do it. Then a guy I'd been talking to comes by, sees me holding it, gets mad at me for smoking weed. I then go, I don't know how to smoke weed. I didn't know what I was doing. We get into a whole thing. He's mad at me. You guys are laughing.

[Paige]

Wait, I forgot about that.

[Hannah]

No, I got in, like, huge.

[Paige]

I forgot about that second part. I literally, like, stopped remembering.

[Hannah]

I was like, I don't even know how to inhale. And he's like, how do you not know how to inhale? I'm like, I'm really dumb and scared, and I don't know what's happening.

[Paige]

Wait, I forgot about that. I think that was the day that I. I was like, he's a loser.

[Hannah]

Also, I was like. I didn't even.

[Paige]

I was like, we're 25. We're gonna hit the weed pen, you narc. Like, that was wild behavior on his part. I was like, get out of my face. Wow. That was a trip down memory lane.

[Hannah]

That was. I want to make one quick announcement, too. I posted my nail situation. I got my nails done. I got my first Russian manicure.

[Paige]

Do you love.

[Hannah]

I want to say these women.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Are scientists. Yeah.

[Paige]

I haven't gotten one yet. And everyone says once you get one, you'll never go back.

[Hannah]

She did nip one of my cuticles, and I. She hit an artery for sure.

[Paige]

You like blood?

[Hannah]

A little. Yeah. I bled a little, and it's kind of hurting, and if it gets infected, you could die. But besides that, I feel very.

[Paige]

Do you want to know what's crazy? Is, like, that's true.

[Hannah]

No. My friend told me a story of a girl who had to go to the hospital because of a manicure.

[Host/Advertiser]

No.

[Paige]

People have gotten their feet chopped off.

[Hannah]

Because of, like, a pedicure gone awry.

[Host/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like a step. Like, you become, like, septic.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Someone had to, like, miss a wedding because of it, which. That's a great idea. Yeah. But when I broke my nail. And the way they create a new nail based off of just the. Like, clay is.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

3D printing.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And it's just a lady with a. Like, a stick. Like, a literal wooden stick. I'm like, how did you create a whole new nail bed? Like, it's incredible the work that they've done.

[Paige]

Yeah, it is.

[Hannah]

And I just want to raise awareness for, like, do you want to.

[Paige]

Every time I get my nails done, I don't. I think this is because I have anxiety that I, like, I randomly will just, like, shake.

[Hannah]

It's not good.

[Paige]

But, like, if I have to do something with my hands, like, I'm gonna shake a little.

[Hannah]

And the Diet Coke just raging through Your veins. You're like, I'm drugged out.

[Paige]

I'm figuring it out.

[Host/Advertiser]

No.

[Paige]

So I always think when I'm getting my nails done, when they're painting, I'm like. Every time, I'm like, I would have fucked that up right there at that part. I would have fucked that up, too. Like, it's so crazy how they can do it.

[Hannah]

My final thought, which is a meme that I saw that made me laugh really hard. So I want to say it out loud to the Gigglers. Someone wrote, does Ben Affleck only know two women?

[Paige]

Wait, this is so bad. Because I am a fan of Ana de Armas. I think she's stunning. I think she's a good actress. Like, this is so mean. Oh, my God. I'm trying to be self aware, but, like, this is mean. Whenever I can't do something, or I think, like, I'm gonna be bad at that, or, like, I've never tried that before. Like, it's probably not my hidden talent. I always think, if Ana de Armas can be Marilyn Monroe, I can do anything.

[Hannah]

Mental health moment of the year. No, that's so true. Blonde doesn't go with her.

[Paige]

And usually I don't think about bad movies. Years later, for whatever reason, that movie really stuck in my brain, I think, because I was. Do you want to know why? As I was watching it, I was going through a man's phone. There's so much lore there. But I think about it all the time. I go on a de Armas. I can do this.

[Hannah]

And that's what we're gonna leave you guys with. I hope you enjoyed our first second episode. We doubled up Double Oreo.

[Paige]

This is gonna be different. Like, some days we're gonna do, like, one topic. Like, we're gonna have gigglers right in. Like, you have to talk about this. Like, things that we didn't touch on. Sometimes we might have a guest, sometimes I might not show up. You know, different stuff could happen.

[Hannah]

Then we're. We're free falling. We love you guys so much, and thank you for giggling. Bye. Hey, it's Raj and Noah.

[Raj]

And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[Noah]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[Raj]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topic that we could all use a little helping hit with, whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions or even dreaming.

[Noah]

We'll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right, so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[Raj]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Noah]

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

[Hannah]

Love y'. All.

[Podcast Marketer]

Hey marketers, here's something to note. 75% of listeners don't consider podcasters to be influencers, yet 84% say a podcaster has changed their mind about something they once believed. That's the paradox of podcast influence. It's built on credibility, not clout. Trust, not trends. Acast's podcast Pulse 2025 report reveals how podcast creators are redefining influence through resonance, multi platform fandoms and their ability to shape culture. Get the full report free at podcastpulse2025.com.