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Darina
Hi, I'm Darina, co founder of OpenPhone. My dad is a business owner, and growing up, I'll never forget his old ringtone. He made it as loud as it could go because he could not afford to miss a single customer call. That stuck with me. When we started OpenPhone. Our mission was to help businesses not just stay in touch, but make every customer feel valued, no matter when they might call. OpenPhone gives your team business phone numbers to call and text code customers all through an app on your phone or computer. Your calls, messages, and contacts live in one workspace so your team can stay fully aligned and reply faster. And with our AI agent answering 24. 7, you'll really never miss a customer. Over 60,000 businesses use OpenPhone. Try it now and get 20% off your first six months@openphone.com business and we can port your existing numbers over for free. Open Phone. No missed calls, no missed customers.
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Paige
Confident, easy, and like your butt has never looked better.
Abercrombie
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Hannah
Sup, Gigglers?
Paige
Gary, fix your WI fi.
Hannah
Manifest that shit.
Paige
We can't be managed. It was fun. I mean, the day just got away from me.
Hannah
What's up, my Great Gatsby Gigglers? We had one weekend in Long island that wasn't filmed for television, and we're new people now.
Paige
I'm laughing because we just recorded the. The intro, and then I. And then I realized I wasn't in fact recording, which is the main part of doing a podcast. And prior to that, I forgot my microphone, which is also another main point of doing a podcast.
Hannah
But you know what? At least we're here and we're trying.
Paige
We're thriving.
Hannah
We're trying our best. The. The one thing I know you guys know, we love a theme. This last weekend, Paige comes to visit. And by the way, her and you and DEZ haven't, like, spent multiple days back to back together?
Paige
No, no, we've never vacationed together.
Hannah
The Scorpios were scar Scorpioing. My favorite point of the night was we weren't sure what to do. And Des Goes, could we just sit and talk maybe? And Paige goes, actually, thanks for that. I would love that, actually. That's exactly what I want to do.
Paige
That was actually so sweet when he said that, because it was like, can't we just, like, get to know each other? You know? Like, can't we just. My line of the weekend was actually said by Hannah Lucy Berner. I feel like you know what I'm gonna say. And it was, paige's thirst for knowledge cannot be quenched.
Hannah
So the funny thing is, is we're hanging out all day. You know, we're. You think you're gonna run out of material. Something about Paige is, she doesn't care who you're talking about. If there is a story to be said, she is.
Paige
I'm seated.
Hannah
She'll be like, but why did his cousin say that to her?
Paige
Well, if my friend is telling me a part of their life and I'm not directly correlated or into, that has nothing. That has no bearing on my listening skills.
Hannah
Some would argue drama is more fun when you're not involved because you have no skin in the game.
Paige
And that's what I love.
Hannah
And. But it's funny cuz DEZ would talk about something random, and you'd be like, wait, we're getting to backtrack. And why would she do that to him? And your thirst for knowledge is unquenchable.
Paige
And I feel like there are times where I was like, let's deep dive into her parents. Let's take. Let's take a moment and see why she acts the way she acts. And maybe it's not her fault.
Hannah
I also would, like, bring up different topics throughout the day. Whenever I'd say something, you'd be like, oh, yes, we're gonna have to dive in. I'm like, there's not one thing that you don't find a way to talk about. And maybe that's why we have a podcast.
Paige
And wait, here's another thing. We recycled the same stories over the past seven years of our friendship.
Hannah
So if you thought we were just.
Paige
Doing new information, it was the classics. We obviously brought back the classics.
Hannah
You gotta play the classics. Also, we were in a new. Like, we were in a new back, a new backdrop. So, like, we have to see how the story holds up.
Paige
And nature over nurture. Sometimes you're in the wild, something in front of you reminds you of something, and you're like, and I forget to tell you.
Hannah
Also, sometimes when you're in a different environment, you might have a different perspective on the same story. And it might just bring a new. Yeah. Perspective in life. And that's. And we're open to all different ways of approaching a story. Because we're journalists. Because we're journalists.
Paige
There was one time I don't even know what we were talking about. And Dice goes, paige doesn't want to know that. And you look at him and you go, actually, she does.
Hannah
Her thirst for knowledge is unquenchable. Oh, but then also, I felt like you had a this is so married couple of me and dez. Like, I forget, but, like, every time I tell a story, he interrupts being like, no, that's not what happened.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
But then if I tell him to tell the story, he says, no, you tell the story.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And that's. And that's marriage.
Paige
There is a lot of cat mouse with you guys. No pun intended.
Hannah
So what's your opinion of our marriage? After being with us for 48 hours, I have say we keep each other on each other's toes. It's like, are they flirting? Are they fighting? Are they flirting? Are they fighting? Are they flirting? Also, this is what marriage is, and I nailed it this weekend. It's asking the other person where they put the scissors.
Paige
Yes.
Hannah
No one knows.
Paige
No one knows. You want to know what's funny about you and DEZ is you don't want to step on each other's toes, but you want the other one to have, like, the. No, you tell the story. Or, like, you guys. You guys need to communicate more. You don't know who's getting the drinks, who's getting the forks, who's telling the story. There's a lot of admin that you guys haven't figured out.
Hannah
Well, you know why we do not have traditional gender roles in this household. No, you don't.
Paige
And that's what it is.
Hannah
It's chaos. It is chaos in these streets. We don't know who's doing laundry. We don't know who. Who's speaking first. We don't know who's sitting at the head of the table. But that's what keeps it spicy.
Paige
Sometimes people say this as, like, when their relationship is like, oh, we've turned into roommates. I want to take back that saying. Okay. Because in the best way possible, you and Des are roommates in terms of, like, sometimes you're doing the dishes, sometimes he's taking out the trash. But at any given moment, you could be lugging that trash, and he could be washing the dishes. Like, you guys really do live together as, like, two individual people.
Hannah
I think it's because when we got together, we both were such individual people that we just were like. But we mesh well.
Paige
Yeah. And I think that's what it is.
Hannah
There's no structure.
Paige
You get. No. You guys need a chart with stickers. You need to know.
Hannah
What about a chore chart? I've thought about it, but. But this is why we're not divorced yet, is because if one of us happens to get upset about something, like, hey, why is. Are your socks, like, all over the bathroom floor? Then he'll just be like, well, why is your makeup all in the sink? And then I said, and that. And we're moving on. We're even.
Paige
And you can't.
Hannah
We. We're keeping score. We're not keeping score. We're tired.
Paige
Yeah. You can't attack for something when you're doing the same thing.
Hannah
Exactly, Exactly. It is so funny when you come into someone's home and see, like, the functions. But I also feel like when someone visits your house.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Let's be honest. You're playing life like it's a virtual reality.
Paige
Everyone's an actor. We're all paid actors.
Hannah
What would I. Should I be doing when people are at my house around.
Paige
You should have seen me picking out a travel outfit. I'm like, what does someone wear who's, like, not going to the Hamptons for, like, the showiness, just going to, like, hang with a friend?
Hannah
No, I literally. When people come to my house, I'm like, what do you do at around this time of day? Trying to pretend, like, multiple times. I'm like, this is when I typically would go on a tick tock hole, but I'm trying to pretend that I'm like, wait.
Paige
There was a moment where DEZ looked at us and goes, I'm gonna go for a nap now.
Hannah
We were like, that's why he's my king.
Paige
We were like, you know what? Yeah, you deserve it. And we yapp for another three hours.
Hannah
DEZ disappeared for a good two hours. And, like, more power to him.
Paige
He deserved that time off, though.
Hannah
He deserved it. But I do want to say kudos to you. You are such a good guest. Paige came, first of all with a new Daphne tea, the Hannah tea, because my other one got stained up, so she gave me a navy one. And I was like, that's why you're my best friend. She designed it for me. She designed a shirt, literally, for her best friend?
Paige
No, I literally did. I was like, hannah needs my T shirts.
Hannah
So that was great. Then you made a pasta salad that really came in handy all weekend.
Paige
No? I was so proud of that pasta salad. And here's what I did. You know, it's hard to do, is think of something to bring to someone's home, especially when it's like. Like you don't eat anything. Like, you know, like. And we see each other all the time, so it's not like, oh, my God, I haven't seen her in so long, I have to get her, like, a really nice candle set. Or you, like, whatever. So I was like, what am I bringing to Hannah's? But, like, it's not, like, super intense, so I know you love green, so I got this really pretty green bowl, and I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna make a pasta salad, put it in the bowl, and that's the gift. Like, she keeps the bowl. We eat the pasta salad. See ya.
Hannah
And this is what I love about Italians. Only Italians could figure out a way to make salad unhealthy. Yeah, they're like, you know, we go with this pasta.
Paige
A lot of vegetables in there.
Hannah
Let's put. They go. Vegetables, A little cheese and pasta. Now it's good. Now it's a good salad.
Paige
I do need to talk about one person that really didn't have the best time this weekend and was very taken aback, didn't know what was going on. And her name is Daphne. And Daphne is. Look, at a young age, Daphne has been a travel kitty.
Hannah
She's seen so much. She's seen so much.
Paige
She's seen so much. She's done so much. She's always mentally stimulated, you know, like, she's. She's fine. Wherever you. Wherever you take her, she's good. Except for Hannah's house. Okay, I feel bad. Get there. I take Daphne out. Daphne's, like, fine. She's sniffing around. Then I show her, like, where we're sleeping, where her water bowl is, where her food is. She goes. Where her litter boxes.
Hannah
She fully turned into, like, the Real Housewives when they're picking rooms.
Paige
And she was like, the fish room. Literally. The fish room. Are you kidding? She literally looked at me, and she gave me a look only a daughter can give a mother. And it's, when are we leaving? When are we going home? And so the way Hannah's house is, like, set up, like, where we're, like, hanging out, you can't, like, see to go downstairs, but, like, you can kind of see if you're sitting at a certain angle, like, through a window, you can see, like, the top of the stairs. Okay. Every 15 minutes, I would look over to my cat sitting on the top of the stairs, staring at us, judging for three minutes. And then she would run off. She would then proceed to come back, judge again, give a snarl, and run off.
Hannah
She also was like, help me. Like, hello, I'm in danger. I don't feel safe. I've seen what I need to see, and I want to go home.
Paige
She has never been more uncomfortable in her life.
Hannah
I tossed her in the kitty room, which I'm housing three kittens that were found at the side of the road. So Daphne's immediately unimpressed and. Unimpressed.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
So she's like, where are your parents? You don't have parents. What does your dad do? What is it? Where do. You didn't go to private school. You didn't go to private school? Okay. Do you have a last name?
Paige
Are you even microchipped? Oh, my mom. They're not microchip.
Hannah
She goes, no one's cut your nails in a very long time. Get a manicure, like, once.
Paige
Let me tell you. She slept all day on Sunday. She was exhausted. She was emotionally mentally empty. Wow. She had given all she could give.
Hannah
And then Butter, of course, was in my room.
Paige
But it was like, oh.
Abercrombie
You'Re having people over.
Paige
Cool. I'll see you Monday.
Hannah
But I had this fear that if I opened the door, that, like, her and Daphne would have an interaction. And for everyone who's like, oh, my God, if Buddy, Butter and Daphne met. Butter's a street fighter, and Butter fights dirty.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And Daphne, as beautiful as she is, she can't. She can't defend herself.
Paige
I'm a working model, Butter. A working model.
Hannah
Not the money face. And Butter. Butter has half an ear. Like, Butter has nothing to lose.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
So that's not a fair fight. And I just wanted to make sure Daphne was okay. But it was okay. We survived the weekend. You know what?
Paige
I never. Never crossed my mind, though. What if we have kids and they, like, don't get along?
Hannah
Oh, my God. If my kid doesn't get along with your kid?
Paige
Yeah. Like, what if we have. I feel like if we have. If I have one and you have one, that that's, like, impossible. They have to get along. But I feel like, what if there's a world where, like, you have two boys and I have, like, a boy and a girl, and, like, the boys don't get along, but, like, the girl dates one of the other boys, you know? Like, what if there's drama between them? Hon, honestly, I just described the summer I Turned pretty, so. And I really apologize for that.
Hannah
You're like, I've been in deep with my Hulu. Okay. I've thought about this. Actually, I've thought this fully through. Basically the way they're going to be introduced is like, this is not your friend. Like, this is your cousin. This is your family. Like, I know, she's weird. Yeah, she's part of the family. But also, I don't think people realize your kids are going to be a bad influence on my kids.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
Like, your kids are going to be, like, cool and like, I don't know, they're just. I just feel like my kids are going to be a little more straight edge. But. But if I may raise my kids in the Lower east side of Manhattan, they will be doing acid by 11 and then.
Paige
So true.
Hannah
Your kids, if they're raised in the burbs. Mm. Should stay away from my kids.
Paige
Right.
Hannah
But sometimes suburban kids are weird. They, like, sniff stuff because they have.
Paige
To get more creative. Just gonna say, sometimes suburban kids start a drug habit super early.
Hannah
And suburban kids love doing crazy things in cars. Which city kids are like, I'm high as, but I'm lying in the park.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Which is unsafe as well.
Paige
It's something that we're gonna have to figure out. But I did have that thought. I was like, oh, my God. I didn't even think, like, Like. Because in my head I'm like, we both are having girls and they're gonna be best friends.
Hannah
You're like, what if we have kids and then like, aliens come down and like, oh, that's the plot of War of the Worlds.
Paige
One thing that we did talk about is, and we said that people don't talk about it enough, is that there was a Disney Channel movie about twins and they were basketball players. And the name of that movie was double teamed.
Hannah
And that's why we are the way we are.
Paige
And. And don't ask us the origin of this story. I don't know how it started, but there was just a moment where we, like, made that realization and we talked about it. And it's so unsettling when you think about it.
Hannah
How many people that had to go through. Of approval before it came to our.
Paige
Desk, like, that went through many meetings and it was like, this is for kids.
Hannah
They go, I understand it's double teamed, but how can we make it less sexual? Let's make it twins. That'll be better.
Paige
Double. Here's. Here's one thing. If it was double team, that almost makes it less sexual. I Think.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
Then double team. Because teamed is double teamed. Like that. Like teamed.
Hannah
That's what happened to one of my roommates in college.
Paige
Double team. Yeah, that's. And that's the only other. That's the only meaning of it. There's no other meaning of double teamed other than having sex with. With getting.
Hannah
That's what happens when you answer a Snapchat with a guy on the football team. Double teams.
Paige
Correct. And I just think that's so crazy and it makes me so uncomfortable.
Hannah
Well, it's funny. If you watch a lot of comedies now, you see how they make a lot of jokes for the adults. But double team. That's creepy. It's giving Nickelodeon.
Paige
No, it's so freaking creepy.
Hannah
It's giving Nickelodeon scene.
Paige
I don't know how we. We got.
Hannah
How we got here, but I think.
Paige
It was because we were doing, like, all these different sports things and we were saying. And I actually, I was saying all of the different sports that I think I would have been good at. And Hannah said if she didn't play tennis, she would have played basketball. And then that brought me to. Have you ever seen double team?
Hannah
But I said I couldn't play basketball because my hands are hooves and I can't hold the ball. But the funniest thing was Paige comes in. I. We learned about each other this weekend. She's wearing, like, a gorgeous bikini, like, stunning. Everything's working. And then she stands up and she goes, do you want to race? And I was like, what do you mean? She's like, do you want to play mermaids? Do you want to race? Marco Polo, like, all the games. And I was like, let's go. And then to get into the pool, she doesn't go towards the. The little. The. Not towards the stairs. She goes towards the deep end. I said, where are you going, babe? Did you get lost? And she goes, I'm jumping in. And I said, I didn't see that for you. Yeah, you are a freak. This. She literally is like, hair. Well, she hasn't washed her hair in, like, many days.
Paige
That's a whole other thing that we haven't talked about.
Hannah
But, like, so put together and goes, I'm about to belly flop. And I was like, I thought for sure you would be that girl who daintily walks in three stairs in, and then goes, you guys, it's kind of cold. Are you sure? And then we're like, come on, Paige. And you're like, okay. And then like 10 minutes later, you're in. And then you're like, Actually, it's kind of warm. We're like, we told you, Paige. No. This bitch fucking. And not even, like, a graceful dive. She fucking cannonball. Cannonball, Cannonballs. And that's so you. Because people can't put you in a box.
Paige
No, they really can't. And I dare I say, I thought you were going to be like me.
Hannah
No, I'm dainty when it comes to the pool.
Paige
Yeah. Like, it took you 10 minutes to get in, and you, like, you were going slow, slow, slow. You're torturing yourself.
Hannah
I don't want to brag. I do have very high muscle, low body fat as of at least 10 years ago, last time I checked. So I. I get really cold really easily because I am tiny in the ankles, so when it hits the ankles first, it shoots up my body. Also, I'm. I'm, like, scared of water in general, kind of. When I was little, I almost got swept away by a current.
Paige
We're in a pool. Your pool. It was 85 degrees. We were in a heated pool in the middle of summer.
Hannah
Do you know when you jump and, like, it gets, like, in your ear, this or up your nose, and then your day's ruined for three days? Like, it's just not. It's not worth it.
Paige
Like, I just think, like, going. Going in by the stairs. I obviously used to do that, but I grew up. Honestly, not to sound so cultured, but I feel like I'm, like, always jumping off boats. And so, like, when you jump off a boat, you have to jump in. You can't, like, walk in from a boat.
Hannah
I have to stop you right there. That's where you've lost the entire audience. The entire. No, no one can relate to that. She's like, you know when you're by the cliffs and then. But your boat's taking you to the cliff.
Paige
No, really? I feel like I, I. That's why I jump in, because you have to jump off a boat.
Hannah
And she goes, and these yachts, you know, that you're about to get, like, dumois, that you're a yacht girl after that comment. Honestly, I hope you're making money on.
Paige
These yachts from my family vacation. Like, that is. I jump in off a boat, but no jumping in you. It's three seconds of cold compared to, like, literally two solid minutes of torturing yourself walking into the cold, and then you're just fine.
Hannah
Des is like, you never felt worse after jumping in cold water. And I go, yeah, but I felt better before it.
Paige
Well, Des and I are water signs. And so we really. We connect with the water. Like, I. I love the ocean. Like, I. I really feel like when I go in the ocean, I feel differently than other people because I genuinely feel like it heals my soul.
Hannah
This is my thing. Nothing feels better than peeing in water.
Paige
Do you pee in the shower?
Hannah
I can't help but pee in the shower. The second warm water hits me, I'm peeing.
Paige
I feel like there's, like, a whole discourse, like, low key, on, like, people being like, it's gross to pee in the shower because, like, of the drain. Like, it's going down the drain.
Hannah
But then none of my business what's going on in the drain. The drain. So many things to worry about. I'm not worrying about what's on.
Paige
Going.
Hannah
Growing in my drain. I don't even know what's growing in my Stanley right now. Okay, there's the. No, absolutely not.
Paige
No. And, like, I'm not sitting in the bathroom being like, oh, okay, well, yeah, obviously the sink and the shower drain would be different than the sewage system. But, like, again, no, again. But then there's an argument that, like, pee. You could pee on someone getting surgery, and it's like, you're fine.
Hannah
This is my problem. My p. I think my pee is perfect.
Paige
Same.
Hannah
But, like, if someone else were to pee, I'm like, okay, let's have some respect.
Paige
Okay, well, I'm hydrated. And so that's basically water with a little bit of, like, UTI powder. Yeah. Like, leave me alone.
Hannah
Des is just, like, water and Advil and his. So, like, we're a happy home. This is a really niche reference, but do you remember the movie Jimmy Neutron?
Paige
I don't remember the movie, but I remember the TV show. Like, did they make a movie?
Hannah
They made a movie, and at one point, like, all the adults disappeared. Weird. And they were showing all the things kids were doing because the adults were gone. And one kid was like, I'm peeing in the shower. And then I was like, oh, you're not supposed to be in the shower.
Paige
Wait. You know what's funny is you, because you had a younger sibling, you watched more younger shows. Like, once I hit the age where it was over for me, I then never saw anything, like, younger because no one was turning it on because I.
Hannah
Didn'T have an older sibling. The first time I saw him TV, I was, like, 11, and it was at a tennis camp with all, like, the cool older girls. And I saw Ja Rule with his shirt off. And life was never the same.
Paige
I'm trying to My my first experience with MTV was actually so surreal because it was the Real World San Diego, and it was Cameron from Southern Charm, and that was the first reality show I ever watched. Oh, and I loved her. I thought she was like the prettiest person to ever be on the planet. And then to think like, oh, I'm gonna go on reality tv. Scary.
Hannah
She's adorable.
Abercrombie
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Hannah
I do want to Say, I'm proud of you. This is the first time you went to the Hamptons since. And I hope that I helped you create new memories.
Paige
You did help me create new memories.
Hannah
You also brought stromboli, of course. And you also brought pinoli cookies.
Paige
Of course.
Hannah
And rainbow cookies and sprinkle cookies.
Paige
Yes. Well, you can't bring a pinole. You can't bring a pinole. And not a sprinkle cookie.
Hannah
That's just like, imagine I did that for the rest of the pot. I go. And chocolate vanilla.
Paige
And she brought her own pillows. And then she brought Christmas gifts for everyone for. For this coming Christmas. And then she brought.
Hannah
So that was really good. And we hung out with Gary.
Paige
Oh. And then my brother and his girlfriend were in town, like, we're around in the vicinity, and stopped over and we played some tennis. We had some dinner.
Abercrombie
I ate a lobster roll.
Hannah
I do have to say, you did play tennis, and you did the most page thing ever. I hit her a backhand, and she just said, no, thank you. And I said, what's wrong? And she goes, I'm not hitting backhands. And I'm like, did you just refuse to hit a backhand?
Paige
I'm doing backhands today.
Hannah
She was like, no, thank you. And I was like, I love that you're polite, but that's not how sports work. And she goes, what game is this? This is. Tennis is my whole life. This is my. Put my whole entire life into. And you can have some damn fucking respect on. Okay, okay. And you were like, okay, I'm done.
Paige
I literally am that, like, annoying little girl. That was like, okay, but what if we did ballet on the tennis court? Everyone's like, we're playing a game.
Hannah
You also. You don't like to do things for too long.
Paige
No, I don't. I get activities.
Hannah
I mean, chatting all day.
Paige
I could go all day and all night snacking for at least four hours.
Hannah
DEZ was very impressed by our chatting cardio, like, marriage.
Paige
What does he mean?
Hannah
As in, like, he's like, you got. All you do is talk to each other, and then you're, like, seeing each other. He's like, you know, when you guys get into your whole giggly thing, and I think it's. It's a religion, babe. Respect.
Paige
Okay? I would argue that every friend duo is like this, like. You know, what's crazy is I always think about. And I've said this since I was, like, a child. When you're married for, like, 30, 40 years. What are you guys talking about? Like, how are you still finding things to talk about?
Hannah
Because you have to talk about other people.
Paige
Yeah. Like, you know everything about each other. You have to. I mean, the world would not survive if you didn't talk about other people. But with you, I'm never like, oh, no, what are we gonna talk about today? Like, we're gonna find things. It's gonna come up.
Hannah
You know what it is? It's like love. It just takes two people who have the same goal. And, like, we give us, not both are going to try to make it work. And that's what friendship is. Two people trying to make a gossip work. And let's be honest, I'll start gossip, and you might not be into it, but you're gonna support me in it. And you're gonna say, okay, well, why did she do that? Why do you think she did that? Let's. Let's see it from different angles. And that's. That's what friendship is.
Paige
And you know what? I think maybe DEZ is desensitized to that. So much gossip happens in our world right in front of our faces, and we need to bring it back behind closed doors. Like, we need to bring it back.
Abercrombie
To its original intended form.
Paige
And that's at your friend's kitchen table, where, like, they're not gonna see it. No one's gonna like it, reply to it, comment on it. Let me say what I need to say in peace.
Hannah
I want to start it with, can I say something kind of mean? Or this? I normally would never say, you know, I'm not like this. You know, I would never be this mean, but am I alone in this? And that's.
Paige
Wait, am I alone in this? Makes it sound profound. It makes it sound like, we went to college. We. We went. We furthered our ever education. When we say, and am I alone in this?
Hannah
Am I alone? This sounds like, yeah, I'm trying to change the world. Which we do. We do every day through conversation. Also, I did make. I did have a little Italian snafu. Gary brought prosciutt. Prosciutto, however, or prescotti, whatever you would call it in Idaho.
Paige
Wait, wait. I know that you're gonna tell this story, but first, let me preface that. I get there on Friday night, and Hannah, immediately, she's like, and tomorrow we're gonna have prosciutto with melon. And I'm like, amazing. I love prosciutto with melon. And she said it, like, three times. Like. And that will be, like, our cute little snack. And that was her party. Trick. Proceed with your story.
Hannah
Also, I'm.
Paige
You're me.
Hannah
And does. So Gary brings the prosciutto. And then.
Paige
So she didn't even have one of the main ingredient. Okay. One of the main ingredients for said dish was not even in the home.
Hannah
I knew there was going to be Italian people around.
Paige
Someone was going to have prosciutt. No, that's actually so true. Someone had it in their car.
Hannah
If there was, like, a high percent chance one of you guys have prosciutto, which. Oh, my God. So. But then this is where the issue came. I. I don't know about melons.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
I don't realize that the inside of melons are not all created equal. I didn't realize that I didn't have melon. I had a cantaloupe. I thought a cantaloupe was a melon.
Paige
No, you had a honeydew.
Hannah
Oh, you had a.
Paige
You had a literal she. So she. So she cuts up this melon. First of all. No. She goes to cut up the melon. She goes to cut up the melon, and my brother stands up swiftly and goes, maybe I should cut it.
Hannah
Can I say no one believes in me. Like, no one believes in me. And the way you learn is by making mistakes. I come down with a battle axe and a melon. Because that's how you cut melons.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Immediately, right before I'm about to cut it, I realized I feel like there should be some strategy.
Paige
Not the right knife. It was.
Hannah
I don't know what kind. I don't know my knives.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Wasn't the right knife. Gary, Wait.
Paige
Hold on. Also, I just need to, like, set.
Abercrombie
The scene for you.
Paige
We're in Hannah's backyard. She's walking around this massive knife all day, too, because we were cutting up different things. And, like, she kept making this same joke, but every time she said it, it literally hit. She would always say. She kept saying, thanks, Des, for getting me the small knife.
Hannah
Like, I kept feeling good. I was. I wanted the small knife, and it kept getting laughed. So I kept doing. It.
Paige
Came. Yeah. It was the business.
Hannah
Also. You can't pick up that knife and, like, not say something. It was an insane knife to have near human beings. Like, it looks like what you use to cut up a body. It was insane. So naturally, I was like, maybe this is the knife that'll be good for this. Cantaloupe, melon, honeydew, whatever the fuck it was. I didn't know. Could you tell before cutting into it what it would be?
Paige
No, I didn't but you want to know what I wasn't really thinking? Like, oh, this isn't a melon. Because if someone says, hey, I have a melon for you. Just, I think. I think, oh, she went to the melon section.
Abercrombie
She picked it up.
Paige
Like, there's obviously a honeydew section also.
Hannah
You think if I, like, was bragging about making this for you guys, I'd have any of the ingredients?
Paige
Anything.
Hannah
Like, we're over two, and there's only two ingredients.
Paige
So we were this close to having salami and apples, okay? This freaking close.
Hannah
But it's so funny because Gary sees me with a knife, which, by the way, I've been handling all day.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And he's like, I've seen what I need to see.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Comes up to me, takes the knife, and starts cutting it. Which then I realized, like, I am kind of good at getting other people to do my dirty work. You just kind of have to look confused and dangerous with a weapon. And they're like, no, thank you.
Paige
So he's trying to look like you're about to make everyone else's day ten times more annoying, like, because she just looked like, oh, I just chopped my thumb off. Like, and that would have been so annoying.
Hannah
No, that would have been super inconvenient for the weekend we had planned. And selfish. So Gary starts cutting it up, and I don't know who. It might have been you. That was like, that's honeydew.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And I was like, okay. Like, that's socially constructed. Like. Like, it identifies as a melon.
Paige
Wait, here's the other thing. You didn't even give us full pieces of prosciutt. The way you. The way you were trying to do it, like an almond mom, wrapping it around the honeydew, like, you actually had created a new snack.
Hannah
So, first of all, I did not wrap it. That would have been way fucking cuter if I wrapped it. And I should have had toothpicks. That wasn't insane not to have toothpicks. Third of all, Gary cut it in a way that wasn't, like, on my plan of how I was gonna do it. So then I just, like, put it in strips and put it didn't. It was not good.
Paige
It was not good.
Hannah
There's nothing more humbling as a host than when you show up to the group, sitting by the pool with honeydew prosciutto, and you go, does anyone want any? And I'm telling you, if someone doesn't, early on put their hand up, it's a Group mentality thing. And everyone's like, oh, it's okay. And actually, you know, you have a pound of prosciutto wasted on honeydew melon that's going to get hot and have flies on it. So you guys are all, like, doing whatever you're doing, and I'm looking at my failure of a work of art.
Paige
Oh, man. It was a good day.
Hannah
Do you know what? No. Do you know? It was even worse. So no one eats it. It's just sitting there. A couple hours go by. I notice it, and I take a little taste. Of course, Gary doesn't let that go. And he's like, did you just. Someone has to.
Paige
He goes, that's been sitting in the sun for two hours, Hannah.
Hannah
And I go, look, I'm not about waste because you guys are wasteful and.
Paige
You'Re not about waste.
Hannah
No, not about waste. So. So that was fun. Anyway, guys. Oh, my God. I've been enjoying chugging my Duncan refresher. I'm obsessed. Let me. Oh, I pulled off. But I get it with the green tea.
Paige
So do I.
Hannah
You do too. It's so good. It's so good.
Paige
You know, I actually had a thought, and the Duncan refreshers have pushed me to it. I used to be a girly that didn't drink coffee in the morning, and I would drink green tea.
Abercrombie
And then one day, I just, like, forgot about green tea.
Paige
And since I've been having green tea in my refreshers, I'm back to, like, green tea mornings.
Hannah
Thank you, Duncan, for keeping us refreshed all weekend long. And go to gigliesummer.com to submit stories for a chance to win the giggly Duncan merch. If you've seen it online, it's pretty amazing.
Paige
We played with three kitties. It was the. Here's the thing, too, okay? Des was like, you guys can play with the kittens, but don't take the kitten out of the kitten room and play with it in the living room. And we're like, okay. Like, we're not even going to. So we're taking.
Hannah
Rules are made to be broken.
Paige
Yeah. So obviously, we get the kitty and we take her out into the living room. And right as DEZ predicted, we lost the kitty. Kitty's gone. We said she couldn't have gotten far. I literally felt in that moment, Hannah, when we were looking for that cat, I actually felt like I was 11 years old and I was there for a sleepover. Dez was our dad, and we had just done something that he specifically told us not to do.
Hannah
And that's our. That's our role play. We do it.
Paige
And we're panicking because we're getting to the point where we have to be like, can you help us?
Hannah
No. I was looking in the fridge. I was like, is the cat in the fridge? I started, like, looking under pillows at one point. I, like, looked in my own pocket. I'm like, where is the kitten? Mind you, of course, she's just, like, right there under the couch. She comes out, and I have a special announcement. And if you're on the YouTube, she's been here this whole time. Sorry. The way I picked her up, she just goes limp. That was. Oh, my God.
Paige
Wait. That was so cute. Wait, show her again. Oh, she's so cute.
Hannah
Mrs. Boots, who's attached to me at the hip.
Paige
Okay, wait. I walk in. Cat's name is Cupid, cat's name is Cupid, Then immediately, cat's name was Socks.
Hannah
Then it was Socks.
Paige
Socks then turned into Boots because, you know, she's growing.
Hannah
She's learning. Naming cats is very fun, but if it. It has to work. And the thing is, we called her Boots because the white goes all the way up to, like, right above the knee.
Paige
She's wearing Boots.
Hannah
It's like an above the knee. Boo. And fall is around the corner. It just seems appropriate. Also, like, you know, Cowboy Carter. Like, countries back in. So Boots. You could say, like, Boots.
Paige
Yep.
Hannah
So I'm in love with this cat. Like, this cat is a very special cat off the side of the road. It just has an amazing temperament. Paige, you love this cat.
Paige
I love this cat.
Hannah
And as you go know, I've been fostering cats, also known as trafficking cats to all my friends. So this cat, I'm not letting. I'm gatekeeping. Like, I'm not letting the general public adopt her. Like, I'm like, this needs to stay in the family.
Paige
Right?
Hannah
Poor Grace just wanted to have a nice job. She just wants. She just wants to make some money.
Paige
She wanted to go to work, receive a paycheck, go home with her life. We said, wait a minute. This is a lifelong commitment. This is a cult. Are you in or are you out?
Hannah
Poor Grace not only. So she drove me out to the Hamptons to meet this cat because I forced her. And then I drove her around in the car. I think she disassociated because I was like, are you okay? And she was like, where am I? Definitely hr. One of the worst HR violations we've had. Like, I can see the giggly squad Documentary starting with her, like, sitting down and being like. At first it was fun. Like, we did this tour, and then we got it. Next thing you know, Hannah was not checking her blind spot. And then there was a lot of cats everywhere.
Paige
So much litter, Just litter everywhere.
Hannah
And then they were forcing beta blockers down my throat. And I had to listen to hours and hours and hours of having weird laugh.
Paige
She has really low blood pressure now.
Hannah
Also, I broke my jaw.
Paige
Oh, my God.
Abercrombie
Do you remember when Grace broke her.
Hannah
Grace broke her job. We were not involved. We were not involved.
Paige
Yeah, we were not involved in that.
Hannah
So the way I like to do this cat thing is it can take time. You can't force it. But Boots loves me. And I wanted to see if Boots naturally gravitated to Grace. And let's be honest, Grace has incredible energy, especially for cats, because cats don't like frenetic stress. High energy people that, with sudden movements stresses them out. Grace is calm as a cucumber. This cat is, like, gravitating to her. And I'm like, okay, this could be it. Because also, I don't want Grace to take the cat if the cat's not gonna be happy, right? So let's just say I did a lot of. A lot of work.
Paige
You did a lot of revert. What is it, reverse reverse psychology?
Hannah
Well, she called me at one point and she said, look, I don't. I love her, but I don't know if I want to have a cat. And I said, does anyone know if they want anything? I said, did I know?
Paige
I was just gonna say, I feel like that's exactly what you said. When I was like, I don't know if I want to get married.
Hannah
I go, no one knows. Just said, no one knows. I said, if you knew, we. We wouldn't be humans in this life. Like, I'm getting crazy philosophical with her, like, all. She's so confused by the end of the call. And she's like, I just don't know.
Paige
At the end of the call, she's like, am I a cat?
Hannah
She goes, do you want to adopt me? So she literally was calling me to be like, I think because I'm not 100 sure I shouldn't do it. And I go, no one's ever 100 sure. I said, I wasn't 100 sure about my marriage. And look where we are. Look where we are arguing about who should tell the story at a dinner table, okay? And then I. But I said, but you know what? I totally get it. I said, I totally get it? There's actually.
Paige
Wait. Let's. Also, I think it's important to note that Grace started working for us and terrified of cats.
Hannah
She had a phobia.
Paige
Yeah. It wasn't just that she didn't like cats or wasn't, like, like, you know, privy to them. It was like she genuinely was scared of them.
Hannah
And one thing about me is I love a challenge.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
So I was like, okay, she'll be hard work, but that's the kind of work I want to put. I don't want someone who's like, I want a cat. I said, no, no.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
I want someone who doesn't want it and to flip them, like you.
Paige
And. Yeah. I was just gonna say. And she's. You're go. You're going on two of two now.
Hannah
I'm two for two.
Abercrombie
People should hire you.
Hannah
Should I be a cat matchmaker?
Paige
I mean, it's kind of crazy how you have gotten into the minds of many young girls.
Hannah
So Grace then calls me again, and she's like, I've been doing my research. I've been talking to everyone. And she's like, I 100% want this cat. So this was just accidental reverse psychology. But I had to bring the cats back this morning to get spayed, which means they have to cut their little bellies to spay them. It's so sad. But I get a call from Des. He goes, we have a problem with Boots. And I'm like, what's going on? He goes, she's too skinny. She has to be two and a half pounds before they cut her open. So we have to take her back. So I called Grace. I'm like, grace, I'm so sorry. You can't adopt this cat tomorrow. I need to fatten her up for another week. And Grace is like, are you kidding me? Like, I want the cat now. And I said, look how the turntables have turned. She's like, no, I need this cat right now.
Paige
And I go, and that's what ultimately happens. Once you've made up your mind, you need this cat. You're like, well, why isn't there a cat on my lap? No.
Hannah
She literally is like, if I don't have a cat right in my lap in three minutes, I'm gonna lose my mind.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
But Grace. Everyone tell Grace congratulations on her pregnancy. She's having a baby, and her name is Boots.
Paige
Wait, is she keeping that name?
Hannah
She loves the name Boots.
Paige
Wait, I'm obsessed.
Hannah
She loves she. Because I said, you call her whatever you want. She's Your child. Like, you birthed her. And so, yeah, in about a week, Grace will take her home. She's already, like, done a whole Amazon list. We'll add it to the newsletter of all the stuff for the cat.
Paige
Wait. I actually just bought a cat thing on Amazon this week because I realized I'm traveling all these places, and I'm putting Daphne's food in, like, a little plastic bag, like, a trash. And so I got her, like, this little case to travel with her food. I was like, oh, my God, Daphne, I'm so sorry.
Hannah
What kind of water does she drink?
Paige
Purified Evian. Just from the tap. The cat's like, lukewarm. She likes it, Luke.
Hannah
It's funny. The cats are so specific, too. One last thing about cats. I'm sorry if anyone's like, I don't like cats. Well, I have one last thing to which what I said to Grace. Life is good, but it's just better with a cat.
Paige
Totally.
Hannah
So it's like, I. If you're happy in life, that's great. Imagine being happier.
Paige
No, there's nothing really else you can say, like, that is so spot on. Like, it's so much better. Like, you might have had a good day and you're, like, excited to go home and get on the couch. Imagine if there's just, like, a floof waiting for you to also get on the couch.
Hannah
And she's not annoying. She's not annoying.
Abercrombie
And she lives her own life.
Hannah
She lives her own life and her name is Booth, and she's right here.
Paige
No. I'm so excited for Grace.
Hannah
So we're really excited for Grace. Who's my next victim? I have to, like, search. Maybe Chris. Does Chris have a cat?
Paige
No. Honestly, I feel like you're, like, running out of people. You've infiltrated so much.
Hannah
I only have so many friends.
Abercrombie
I have to confess something, and I really hope that Hannah doesn't hear this. And I know I always make fun of her for wearing granny panties, but I'm almost there because I've been wearing the Skims Boy short. And let me tell you, they're not granny panties, but I do feel so comfortable in them. I love so many skims products. I've been going through my skims nipple bra phase, and I'm obsessed. It's. It's really been going on for a while now. But the fits, everybody Boy short are just so comfortable. It stays invisible under clothes. The fabric is truly life changing, and it just hugs all the right places. They also are so comfortable to sleep in. And I've never really been a full coverage underwear kind of girl, but finding a pair that doesn't show a panty line is my number one thing. You can shop all my favorite bras and underwear@skims.com after you place your order, be sure to let them know Giggly Squad sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Hannah and I travel a lot and our travel days can truly turn into anything. There was one time where I was trying to fly out of LaGuardia and ended up finding myself at JFK. That's why wherever the day takes us, we need nourishment that fuels our daily adventures. That's where Catrava comes in. You're energized, focused, calm, satisfied. Four hours and it doesn't matter which airport you end up flying out of. My favorite flavor is definitely the chocolate. They have vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai and there's all different recipes that you can make. I personally like to add frozen fruit. I've been on a real frozen blueberry kick recently and with every two scoops of Cachava you get 85 plus superfoods, you nutrients and plant based ingredients. There's no artificial flavors, colors or sweeteners and there's no soy, no animal products, no gluten and no preservatives. Try Cachava Risk Free with their Love it guarantee. Fuel your daily adventures with kachava. Go to cachava.com and use code giggly for 15 off your next order. That's Cachava K A C H A.
Paige
V A dot com code giggly for.
Abercrombie
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Des
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Hannah
Also kind of nostalgic. I just want to bring awareness to people. Don't talk enough about the Powerpuff Girls.
Paige
What specifically, did you watch it?
Abercrombie
I didn't.
Paige
Can I tell you something? Cartoon Network.
Abercrombie
Not for me.
Hannah
I'm gonna say Cartoon Network is so Hannah coded.
Paige
Yeah, it's not page coded.
Hannah
Ed. Ed and Eddie. You would never watch. See, I love that silly. But Powerpuff Girls. Oh, like Dexter. Do you remember Dexter?
Paige
Can I tell you something that's so me coded?
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
Any TV shows where they're, like, yelling.
Hannah
I've seen what I need to see.
Paige
I would be like, stop. I really didn't like that. Like, I like again, as I am as an adult, where I like to watch pretty people on the tv, I like them to be so hot. As a younger child, I like to watch things that were aesthetically pleasing to me.
Hannah
So, like, that's why I can't believe I'm your favorite person.
Paige
I liked Mary Kate and Ashley because they have matching outfits.
Hannah
I love Disney Channel.
Paige
Oh, I love Disney Channel. So, like, anytime someone would offer up the Cartoon Network, I immediately knew what kind of kid you were, and I was disinterested. I would be like, no.
Hannah
This is the thing, though, with Powerpuff Girls. Aesthetically, because one of them had black hair, one of them was blonde, one was redhead, and they all had different colors. It was, like, so cute. And they all were just, like, badass. And, like, I think it formed who I am as a woman. The Powerpuff Girls.
Paige
See, again, I didn't like action.
Hannah
You go, why are they moving so much?
Paige
I go, take a nap. Why don't you guys chill? Like, you're getting out of your house, and you're, like, running away from your parents, and this is what you're going and doing. Like, go to the mall.
Hannah
Wait, That's Cartoon Network 2. The commercials were like, you want this.
Paige
Yogurt?
Hannah
It's always a yolk. Like, why was there so so much yogurt in those squeeze tubes when we were Little like Jesus. Like, it's just like, oh, my.
Paige
Easy squeeze. Wait, that is also something so to note. Like, the commercials were even, like, too much. Like, I couldn't. I was like, no, get the station off. Like, I liked.
Abercrombie
Then I'd have to switch to, like.
Paige
PBS and, like, watch, like, Wishbone or something. I'd be like, that's so over stimulating.
Hannah
I did like Wishbone.
Paige
I loved Wishbones.
Hannah
I'm surprised it didn't make you smarter as a kid. She goes, I just like the patterns of the dog. You guys watch it on.
Paige
You know who I really feel like I grew up to be was DW from Arthur is who I grew up to be.
Hannah
Oh, my God. I loved Arthur. I loved Arthur was my favorite.
Paige
DW just, like, called it how she saw it. She was assertive. She was blunt. She was to the point, and she was a little bit mean. Okay. But people deserved it. People deserved it. Like, get out of DW's house.
Hannah
Did you like Kim Possible?
Paige
I feel like I was a little bit too old for Kim Possible, but I definitely watched it. Like, Kim Possible and the proud family were, like, the same time. And I was like, I feel like I was leaving, but I still watched it. But I wasn't as involved as I could have been.
Hannah
Yeah. Like, I thought Kim Possible was so cool with her cargo pants.
Paige
You kind of grew up to be Kim Possible.
Hannah
It's the nicest thing you've ever seen you have. You have red hair, and I like little animals near me.
Paige
Yeah. Like a naked mole rat.
Hannah
Oh, my God. Oh, I love it. It's so cute.
Paige
I feel like this summer is, like, to bring it full circle. Are you talking to us right now? I'm okay. I feel like this summer is always kind of, like, dead with, like, celebrity gossip, because I genuinely feel like all of, like, the entertainment industry is, like, just, like, they're on vacation in the summer. Yeah. Like, they're not. They're like, you can't find them. Whatever. So I feel like, like, the gossip is pretty chill. One thing that people aren't talking about enough, I don't think, is the fact that Victoria Beckham, my religion savior, and her son are having, like, a huge feud. Like, and. And I feel like we're not really diving into what's going on, but, like, they're not speaking. And the younger sons keep posting these, like, cryptic things on Instagram. Like, people are picking up on it. So it's like the brothers now aren't talking to him.
Abercrombie
So, like, I need to know.
Paige
I Need someone in there just to let me know what it overall is about. Because now we're going on like two years of just fighting. But what was the original fight? Is what I. I need to know.
Hannah
Well, there was supposed to be a big fight with the wedding, but then they kind of like went.
Paige
But I feel like when people fight over like a wedding, then once the wedding is over, it's like, okay, there's got to be like a new fight because how are you even continuing it? We, we got married.
Hannah
Also, if you didn't fight during a wedding, did you even have a wedding? Like, that's just part of having a wedding. This is why this makes me upset. In this day and age, for your family to be your biggest ops.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Is so unsettling. Like, that person in your home is the one that the press is about and they're coming for you. Like, it's not okay. Also, it's not okay if I birthed you out of my and ripped my butthole. You're not talking bad about me in the press?
Paige
No.
Hannah
You're not talking to people in magazine about.
Paige
You're grounded. You're grounded.
Hannah
No. Like, check your blind spot. Go home. Leave me alone. I don't like the whole like, oh, the wife and the daughter in laws having be like, I don't know.
Paige
Yeah, that is so true. Like, they're making it so about Victoria and Nicola.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
And. But I really think it's more.
Abercrombie
It's deep.
Paige
It's.
Abercrombie
That's your son.
Paige
Like, who cares about the new wife? Like, why fight with her? What is going. What are they fighting with the sun about? Is what I need to know that to the point where the sun is like, you know what? I'm living my life with my wife, like, by ourselves. She also comes from like a really big family and like, her siblings aren't going on the Internet being like, you know, saying like cryptic things.
Hannah
No, it's kind of like when Megan. Megan Markle became famous and her dad was like talking like, it's crazy.
Paige
What do you think about people saying that Megan Markle stole Pamela Anderson's cooking show idea?
Hannah
What was Pamela Anderson's cooking show idea?
Paige
Or you know how she has like, Pamela Anderson has that like, Hulu show where it's like, it. You like, watch her garden.
Hannah
So wait, how do I not know this? And he put it on immediately.
Paige
Wait, you. I feel like you have watched an episode before.
Hannah
Maybe. I love Pamela Anderson. Everything she does. Wait, why were people messaging me that Liam Neeson said he's A giggler.
Paige
Because he said no, he just used the word giggle.
Hannah
Okay, the gigglers are losing their minds. Cuz I'm like, can someone send me a video? Because I feel like that's not.
Paige
I think he said me and Pam love to giggle. And they were like, clearly.
Hannah
But is that a code? Is that a code?
Paige
It could be. I mean, not us being best friends with Bobby Flay. Now we have to be careful what we manifest. And we will be at Pam and Liam's Thanksgiving this year.
Hannah
Look, if you're on the Food Network or your name is Pamela Anderson, I want to be friends with you.
Paige
Here's another thing I will say. I just feel like people always do whatever they can to pull like Meghan Markle into it. I'm like, like why can't Megan have her own show and Pam have her own.
Hannah
Yeah, I'm pretty sure like, like they're both Ruby off Martha Stewart.
Paige
Totally. Who just came out with a skincare line at the ripe age of like 84. So women, women just stay working.
Hannah
Women stay working. They stay winning. Yeah, I'm like obsessed with Martha. If you haven't watched her documentary, you have to watch it. But also back to the Beckhams. They had an amazing documentary. Amazing. Part of me with all this drama just makes it seem like easily if they had a reality TV show, it could be the next Kardashians. But I don't think that's what they want for, for their life. Even though at this point it is a reality TV show.
Paige
Here's the thing though. I feel like reality TV in general is kind of like switching into a different direction because like it's not as raw and real as it used to be because there was no social media, now there's social media. I almost feel like reality TV should revert back to like being, not revert back because it never was, but reality TV moving forward. I want it to be boring. Like I want to watch, I want to watch Liam and Pam just in the kitchen making Sunday morning pancakes. I only need a 20 minute app.
Hannah
You're so right. You don't want to over produced.
Paige
You know, I don't want to and I don't want it overstimulating. I want like, I want vlogs on the tv. I want to be able to go to Hulu and be like Pamela Anderson's vlogs and it be like different things she does throughout the day.
Hannah
Put a TV and put a live camera in her living room. Big brother at Pamela Anderson reading a magazine.
Paige
Imagine inviting People over to your home, and you're setting the ambiance with Pamela Anderson reading a magazine. I love it.
Hannah
And not out loud. Just.
Paige
I think that's a million dollar idea.
Hannah
I think that's great.
Paige
I think we're on to something.
Hannah
This is how, you know, we're in our 30s. We're like, let's have some calm stuff on the TV.
Paige
Oh, like, literally, I was in the car the other day, and I turned the radio down, and I go, it's freaking loud. I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna blow my eardrums out. Hello. How could you? How could one even concentrate with such loud music?
Hannah
This is why I love having an old husband. Like, the other day, I was, like, tapping my knee too much, and he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I'm like, I respect that. We need peace and calmness, and my anxious knee is ruining the mood.
Paige
You just reminded me of something. I got a vibration plate.
Hannah
So things are going well.
Paige
So this is my thing.
Hannah
Here's the thing.
Paige
I'm a. I'm a marketer's dream, okay? Look, if you're trying to sell to a demographic, sell it to me, because I'm gonna buy it, okay? I'm gonna test it out. I'm gonna try it.
Hannah
This is my problem. I don't know how to properly test anything out, and I don't do anything, like, consistent enough or, like. Like, even with, like, my diet, if someone's like, oh, do you want to see if you're allergic to dairy? Just, like, cut out dairy enough. No, Like, I'm not a science experiment. I'm human, and I make mistakes, and I don't know what a carb is, and I'm not googling it, and I don't.
Paige
Wait. Our new tagline, I'm not a science experiment. I'm a human, okay?
Hannah
I'm a human with a thirst for knowledge that is unquenchable. I not gonna lie. I've seen the vibration plate. It looks like it feels good. Like, it looks like it would free me from, like, past traumas.
Paige
Okay, I'm gonna be honest. The first day I went on it, they said, like, do it like, 10 of the day. First day I went on it, I. I didn't stop for, like, two hours. I mean, that. That thing loosened something up.
Hannah
That's what happened to me with the trampoline. I jumped twice and was like, got to go there.
Paige
I was like, okay, got to, like, got to get the hell out of here.
Hannah
It's literally, like, when you play with a baby and, like, you feel like you shake them up too much and then they just puke and you're like, oh, sorry. Just shook a Diet Coke. Wait, okay, so it's a laxative.
Paige
It's a laxative. I don't know what it's just supposed to be good for, like, overall health. I don't know. I have all the gadgets here.
Hannah
My favorite thing that we talked about this weekend was about adrenaline and how we talked about how if you really want to feel adrenaline, go through your man's phone. There's no. I don't care if you're jumping out of a plane, go through a man's phone and you will have diarrhea.
Paige
I told Hannah the story that I went through an ex boyfriend's phone, but every time I would go through his phone, I'd have to do it in the bathroom on the toilet because I would shit myself, because I would be so nervous I was gonna get caught or that, like, also he had some on his phone, no pun intended. So, like, I needed time to sift through.
Hannah
It was just, look, you were gonna do it in the bathroom anyway, but it was convenient that it was there because your heart rate came up and your body thought you were getting chased by a lion and shat itself.
Paige
And, like, it took one time for me to not be near a bathroom, to know that the next time I have to run to the bathroom to.
Hannah
Lose everything that's inside me right now because we need to run for our life.
Paige
I'm so nervous. And also, I'm never against going through a man's phone. Like, I. I think that all women should legally be allowed to go through their man's phone. But make sure you're near a bathroom because things get crazy.
Hannah
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Abercrombie
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Release Date: August 5, 2025
Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Duration: Approximately 68 minutes
Hannah and Paige kick off the episode by reminiscing about their recent weekend trip to Long Island's Hamptons. They reflect on the uniqueness of capturing personal moments away from the usual television-filmed escapades.
Hannah (02:00):
"We had one weekend in Long Island that wasn't filmed for television, and we're new people now."
Paige (02:16):
"But you know what? At least we're here and we're trying."
The hosts discuss the dynamics of their friendship, emphasizing their ability to find endless material through their interactions and shared experiences.
The duo delves into the depth of their friendship, highlighting how their prolonged bond allows them to recycle classic stories while still uncovering new perspectives.
Hannah (04:05):
"There’s no one thing that you don’t find a way to talk about. And maybe that’s why we have a podcast."
Paige (04:30):
"We recycled the same stories over the past seven years of our friendship."
They humorously acknowledge that their long history together means they often revisit familiar anecdotes, but in new settings that breathe fresh life into their narratives.
A significant portion of the episode revolves around their experiences with fostering cats, particularly focusing on their interactions with Grace and the challenges that ensued.
Paige (13:54):
"She sleeps all day on Sunday. She was exhausted. She was emotionally mentally empty."
Hannah (36:00):
"I’m never against going through a man’s phone. Like, I think that all women should legally be allowed to go through their man’s phone."
The hosts share funny and heartfelt stories about their cats, including mishaps like almost losing a kitten and the humorous difficulties of naming their furry friends. They emphasize the emotional bonds formed and the sometimes chaotic nature of pet ownership.
Hannah (42:18):
"She's attached to me at the hip."
Paige (43:32):
"She's a working model, Butter. A working model."
These segments highlight their compassionate yet comedic approach to pet care, showcasing their ability to find humor in everyday challenges.
Hannah and Paige recount their attempts at preparing prosciutto with melon, leading to a series of kitchen disasters that provided ample laughs.
Hannah (35:06):
"I didn’t realize the inside of melons are not all created equal."
Paige (36:11):
"The scene for you. We're in Hannah's backyard."
Despite missing key ingredients and using the wrong tools, their culinary endeavors underscore the unpredictability of hosting and cooking for friends.
Their ability to laugh off these mishaps reinforces the theme of embracing imperfections and enjoying the moment with loved ones.
The hosts describe their active weekend, including playing tennis and their candid conversations about various activities.
Hannah (30:46):
"Oh, and you brought Christmas gifts for everyone for this coming Christmas."
Paige (31:49):
"I'm a marketer’s dream. Look, if you're trying to sell to a demographic, sell it to me."
Their playful banter while engaging in sports and other activities illustrates their dynamic chemistry and ability to keep conversations lively and entertaining.
Hannah and Paige embark on a nostalgic journey, discussing their favorite childhood TV shows and the impact these programs had on their personalities.
Hannah (54:57):
"Powerpuff Girls. Aesthetically, because one of them had black hair, one of them was blonde, one was redhead, and they all had different colors."
Paige (57:14):
"You know who I really feel like I grew up to be was DW from Arthur."
They explore how shows like "The Powerpuff Girls," "Dexter," and "Arthur" influenced their views and behaviors, blending humor with heartfelt reflections on their upbringing.
The conversation shifts to their opinions on contemporary reality TV and celebrity feuds, particularly focusing on the Beckham family drama.
Paige (60:44):
"They’re making it so about Victoria and Nicola."
Hannah (62:34):
"They are both Ruby off Martha Stewart."
The hosts critique the oversaturation of manufactured drama in reality TV, expressing a desire for more authentic and understated portrayals of celebrities in media.
Towards the latter part of the episode, Hannah and Paige discuss moments that spiked their adrenaline, notably the panic of searching for a lost kitten.
Paige (66:54):
"It's a laxative. I don't know what it's just supposed to be good for, like, overall health."
Hannah (67:14):
"You were gonna do it in the bathroom anyway, but it was convenient that it was there because your heart rate came up and your body thought you were getting chased by a lion and shat itself."
These anecdotes blend anxiety with humor, illustrating their knack for turning stressful situations into memorable and funny stories.
Hannah (04:05):
"Something about Paige is, she doesn't care who you're talking about. If there is a story to be said, she is."
Paige (05:47):
"There is a lot of cat and mouse with you guys. No pun intended."
Hannah (33:03):
"It's like love. It just takes two people who have the same goal."
Paige (67:35):
"I think all women should legally be allowed to go through their man's phone."
These quotes encapsulate the essence of their conversations, highlighting their humor, depth of friendship, and candid perspectives on various topics.
In this episode of Giggly Squad, Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo offer listeners a blend of heartfelt reflections, humorous anecdotes, and candid discussions about friendship, pet ownership, culinary disasters, and media critiques. Through their engaging storytelling and infectious laughter, they create an inviting atmosphere that resonates with both long-time fans and new listeners alike.
Whether they're navigating the chaos of fostering cats, reminiscing about favorite childhood shows, or dissecting modern reality TV, Hannah and Paige demonstrate the enduring power of friendship and the joy of finding humor in life's unpredictable moments.
Note: Advertisements and sponsored segments were omitted from this summary to focus solely on the hosts' engaging content.