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Paige
Whenever a makeup artist tells me about a brand or tells me about a product, I listen. And one of my makeup artists is obsessed with Saie. SAIE is a clean, performance driven makeup brand with a mission to feel good and do good for people and the planet. SEI basically sets a new industry standard with their high performance formulas, sustainable packaging and practices, and a promise to create positive change. They have several award winning bestsellers, including their Glowy Super Gel, which is my personal favorite, and the slip tint SPF 35 tinted moisturizer. And of course, their iconic Dew blush. I love their Glowy Super Gel. I put it on before my makeup and it truly does make such a difference. I think I learned about it maybe like a year and a half ago when my makeup artist was using it and it and she was putting it on my face and I was like, wait, that feels so good. What is that? Basically think of the Glowy Super Gel as like a lightweight illuminator. And it truly has become my first step in my beauty routine no matter what. And if you're someone that likes that, like no makeup makeup look like for every day, this is a great product because you can obviously build and add more makeup. But if you want this to be your only step, you truly can use it. So find say hello.com, sephora.com and every Sephora store across the United States and Canada. Sup, gigglers?
Jacqueline
Gary, fix your wi fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my galactic gigglers. This week is going to be out of this world. Sorry, that was so millennial. Grace is so mad right now.
Hannah
Wait, Grace's league. I've been spending too much time with Grace because everything, I'm like, ew, so millennial. And I love being a millennial.
Jacqueline
The call is coming from inside the house.
Hannah
Well, I think it's just me being super self aware. I'm like, can't do that. That's millennial.
Jacqueline
Yes. See, I identify as Gen Z, so I'm allowed to call people out as millennial. But also I love my little millennials. Like we've been through so much together and we've paved the way like 911.
Hannah
Was like, so you actually wrote something on the notes? That's so millennial. I couldn't even believe you wrote it.
Jacqueline
What did I write?
Hannah
Aiden or Big? That's like the most millennial thing I've ever seen. I was like, there's no way. She's just jumping into the conversation now.
Jacqueline
By the way 10 minutes ago. I go up to page and I go, have you tried this Charlotte Tilbury like, blush stick thing? It's so good. And she's like, yeah, we've known about it for four fucking years. Where the fudge have you been? And I was like, okay, I was just recommending a product.
Hannah
No, that high. It is good. Charlotte Tilbury is. It's good.
Jacqueline
And it's like fun to put on. No, I was talking to someone and they said something like, well, yeah, Big is so hot. And I go, hot. Take. I wasn't into him. He. Yeah, like, he seemed busy, which I guess is hot. And he had a. He had a driver. Where were you driving all the time?
Hannah
No, I love that he had a driver that gave Rich.
Jacqueline
It gave Rich. I don't. But I liked Aiden.
Hannah
Here's. You would. Here's the thing. When I first watched it, like in high school, like an is probably like 8th grade into like high school, I was big. I was like, obviously it's big. Then when I was like in college in my 20s, I'm like, she should have picked Aiden. Now that my frontal lobe is fully formed, I'm back to big. Because, like, yeah, she could have picked Aiden, but she would have thought about big every single day of her life.
Jacqueline
True for her. Yes. Big. Clearly she hated Aiden. Like, she literally. She could have.
Hannah
She left him for dead. She literally couldn't stomach him when he was fat. And so that says it all.
Jacqueline
Also hot. Take neither. Like, literally. There's more men in New York City. Why are we having to pick from two? Yeah, that's what I always tell my friends when they're in a pickle. I said, there's more men in New York City.
Hannah
Wait, I just watched the Chris DiStefano stand up on Hulu.
Jacqueline
I have to watch it.
Hannah
You have to watch it. Because he has this joke about how, like, once you have kids, like all your other friends who don't have kids, their problems are so irrelevant. And he has this joke where he was like, I was talking to this one girl and she was like, couldn't decide if she should break up with her boyfriend or not. And I asked her, do you have kids with him? And she said no. And he was like, kill him.
Jacqueline
You're single.
Hannah
What are we talking about? Like, just kill him. Like, and it's so true. Like, if you really sit back and think, like, you don't, your problems could be so much more complicated. Like, we over complicate them. If you aren't married, you weren't engaged. You don't have kids. Light them on fire. Like, I don't. Who cares?
Jacqueline
Shout out to Chris Estefano, who almost got me in trouble. Cause he filmed us at the Knicks game, and I gave him the middle finger, and then he posted it, and it looked like I was giving the middle finger to, like, a giggler. Like a random giggler who was filming me. I said, no, that was a comedian man who deserved it. And it's his love language. And then he's like, he loves Giggly Squad.
Hannah
Who doesn't?
Jacqueline
Who doesn't? And then Chris was like, oh, me and my co hosts are gonna be the giggly guys. And I was like, don't make me get legal involved.
Hannah
No, literally, don't make me call my wife.
Jacqueline
We actually don't know how to do a legal battle. But Steven Small Claims Corp. Steven Corp. We were so excited to announce the Vanity Fair thing purely because we knew the gigglers would be pumped the fuck up.
Hannah
We manifested that. We said, where are the girls in the gays on the red carpet? And Vanity Fair said, hello.
Jacqueline
Hello. So we have to leave.
Hannah
I leave tomorrow.
Jacqueline
You leave tomorrow? I leave Wednesday for. This is my question. I got a spray tan a week ago.
Hannah
Okay.
Jacqueline
Can I get a spray tan again even though this spray tan is not fully gone?
Hannah
Yeah, you just have to exfoliate it off. Oh, no.
Jacqueline
That sounds so intense.
Hannah
It's not as intense as you think it is.
Jacqueline
How do you know when it's off? Like, my apartment's pretty dark.
Hannah
You just go by vibes.
Jacqueline
But when you get a little scared.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
You know it's right.
Hannah
Just get in the shower the. The night before. You're gonna get yourself.
Jacqueline
I don't have a loofah. What are we exfoliating with?
Hannah
Get, like, an exfoliating mitt and some, like, ex. Like OSEA has a really good exfoliator.
Jacqueline
They do.
Hannah
That's the one I use, so. You look.
Jacqueline
So many beauty accessories.
Hannah
Oh, my God.
Jacqueline
It's insane. It's insane. But no, we're excited about Vanity Fair. We've never been on a red carpet interviewing people together.
Hannah
Never.
Jacqueline
So I don't, like, tell your truth.
Hannah
Tell me. Tell my truth. I don't know if Vanity Fair is really ready. Like, I think they need their legal team on standby. Definitely someone accompanying us on the carpet of, like, please don't see her because it's going to be silly.
Jacqueline
I do have to say shout out to interviewers who do all these award shows, because you have to know everything about everyone. Every movie they've done any reference what they're wearing.
Hannah
And I did ask that in the meeting. I said no, if I forget a thing or two and.
Jacqueline
But it's an after party, so they said that everyone's like, this is the last award show. They're just partying. Yeah. And it's kind of like.
Hannah
So we're just there for literal vibes.
Jacqueline
Like, only bringing a certain energy to the function, which we don't know what energy it's going to be yet.
Hannah
It's certainly not knowledge. I don't know if that's the energy we're bringing.
Jacqueline
Like, hey, can you guys stop giggling and ask literally one question?
Hannah
Yeah, one question. That's important.
Jacqueline
I'm excited. I have no idea what I'm gonna wear yet.
Hannah
I mean, either. Which is Crazy Town, usa. I. I've never waited till the last minute for something more important in my life.
Jacqueline
Well, we've never. You've done a gown before. Like, you did the Caroline Herrera.
Hannah
I did Oscar de la Renta.
Jacqueline
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. I watched the SAG Awards to, like, get us going last night live on Netflix. It was really good.
Hannah
Wait, let's talk about Timothee Chalamet's speech. Did you see that?
Jacqueline
Yeah. I have, like.
Hannah
You have thoughts?
Jacqueline
I. I have thoughts.
Hannah
I felt it in my bones that you were gonna have thoughts and hot takes.
Jacqueline
Do you want to do yours?
Hannah
The only hot take I really had was. I thought it was, like, a fine speech. If a woman made that speech, there would be a very different news day today. It was the only thing I could really think.
Jacqueline
Let me preface this by saying I'm a huge Timothee Chalamer. Huge. We love Timothy Chamberlain.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Also, he's so New York. And as a New Yorker, like, I love him. Like, when he. They said he won, he was like.
Hannah
Ooh, yeah, what's good?
Jacqueline
Yeah.
Hannah
And I'm a huge him and Kylie fan.
Jacqueline
Him and Kylie, we support.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
I think he's been on this, like, insane press tour and he's run out of things to say because he's actually, like, really good in press.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
I think he also was a little off. Did you notice when he had to do his, like, announcement, he messed it up and he goes, should have made it to rehearsal. Like, maybe he was having a day.
Hannah
He's got to be tired.
Jacqueline
He's. I mean, the Wicked Girls are holding on by a thread at this point.
Hannah
A literal tiny thread.
Jacqueline
I mean, it's. It's their Judy garlanding themselves.
Hannah
Yeah. It's Too much.
Jacqueline
It's like us on tour. We get it.
Hannah
No. Yeah. So I've never felt more aligned with the Wicked cast than I do right now.
Jacqueline
And we don't even have to hit any notes. We're not being chucked into the sky. So, Timothy, honestly, I loved how he started it. He was like. Let me just say, some people make it look effortless. It's not effortless, at least for me. I worked five years on this role. And then he stops and he goes, I just want to say, I'm here to be the greatest of all time.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
It was giving rapper. Yeah, but, like, when a rapper says that, you're like, yeah, respect.
Hannah
He's the best player in the game.
Jacqueline
He was like, yeah, yeah. I'm mvp. I'm gonna be the best of all time. I'm not there yet. This is a step. I wanna be Viola Davis, Marlon Brando. I wanna be the best. And he walks out and he chucks.
Hannah
His mic at the crowd.
Jacqueline
Fuck all you untalented F. I'm better than all of you. But I do have to say, with Timothy, I wish he had worded it like, I. I'm. I'm so grateful for this award. And I'm. This is so motivational for me to be the best I can be. And I'm. I'm so excited to keep working the hardest I can.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
To be as great as I can be and fulfill my. Like, whatever. And just be like, thank you guys so much. Like, there's a little bit. You gotta have a little respect for the crowd. Like, you're in front of Harrison Ford.
Hannah
Yeah, well, men can be a little cockier than women can be in, like, an overall setting. Like, men can be an asshole, and it be fine. Women can't be a. And it'd be fine.
Jacqueline
This happened to me at Starbucks. I was waiting for my Starbucks, as one does. And this guy next to me is watching the woman make it, and he goes, less foam.
Hannah
Oh. Oh, never.
Jacqueline
But no one reacted. Like, it was very normal. He was just like, hey, less foam. No one reacted. And, like, I just thought if a woman had said less foam, she would have been arrested.
Hannah
Arrest. I would watch if you just Starbucks barista spit in my coffee and it's handed to me. And I would say, thank you so much.
Jacqueline
We've all been there, where I'm like, the color and shade of going to ruin my day. But that's when you just say thank you, and you move on. You take the L. Yeah, but it's like, if he just added a please.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Or excuse me, can you add more foam? Yeah. So sorry.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
He literally goes, more foam, please. No, no, please. More foam. Yeah, less foam.
Hannah
No. If that was a girl and I looked over, like, who was making the coffee? Girl or a guy?
Jacqueline
A girl, of course. And she just kind of, like, nodded.
Hannah
Yeah, she's probably used to it.
Jacqueline
And he didn't even say thank you when he got it.
Hannah
How old was he?
Jacqueline
What do you. It was just a middle aged white dude.
Hannah
Yeah. Like 30s, 40s.
Jacqueline
Yeah. So this is my thing with Timothy. Then I thought about it again because I was upset. He's manifesting.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Like, I know some comedians will write like, like on their promotion, they'll be like your favorite comedian or that kind of thing. Because people start. Yeah. Thinking, oh, that's my favorite comedian. So it's like you say it to people and then people start believing it. So him, he literally was manifesting by saying, I want to be the greatest of all time. I. I just don't say that to your therapist.
Hannah
Yeah. I'm not as mad at it. The only, really, the only thought I had was like, he can say that. He can say that. Like, other people wouldn't. It wouldn't have been as well received. Like, if Nikki Glaser got up after hosting and said, I want to be the best host of all time for all of the award shows, people would be like, okay, you did one and you did good. Chill out.
Jacqueline
Or like, yeah, keep it in your brain.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
There was. There was no need for it.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
It does remind me, though, which I. One of my favorite speeches of all time was Snoop Dogg when he goes, I want to thank me.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
For getting me there.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
We're like, no, girl, no.
Hannah
We could never.
Jacqueline
There was one tennis girl that was like, I want to thank me. And it was like, really cute. But everyone was like, okay, calm down.
Hannah
No, not to bring it back to me, but like, going through a breakup, like, half my comments are like, you got where you are because of a man, which is like the craziest thing ever. But, like, you can't credit yourself.
Jacqueline
This is my thing as a tennis player. I was always coached. And did I always do it? No. But I was told, speak with your racket. There's a lot of trash talk. There's a lot of saying, I'm better than you. You deserve this. Whatever. Speak with your racket. And for him, it's like, speak with your talent. Which he has. He's also, he's. Oh, I love him. Like, he's the most humble, funny, cute guy. I think he just was feeling himself that moment. It's just in front of all the most talented other actors, it felt like.
Hannah
I'm coming to be better than.
Jacqueline
It felt like he was like, I'm going to be better than all of you. Just watch me. And it was very rap video.
Hannah
Yeah, it was.
Jacqueline
Which, you know what? New York your shit out. But let's. Let's keep an eye on him.
Hannah
That's.
Jacqueline
Yeah, that's what I'll say about that. Side note.
Hannah
Maybe he'll come to us at Vanity Fair.
Jacqueline
Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck.
Hannah
I don't know.
Jacqueline
He's going to look at me and be like, you're the worst interviewer of all time.
Hannah
No, we.
Jacqueline
I just think it was unnecessary because I actually think he can be one of the greatest of all time.
Hannah
Well, that was the thing. That's you. I was like, no, you don't have. On your road to the greatest, you don't have. You are amazing.
Jacqueline
Okay. Yeah. Side note, just some tea friend Drescher comes up and I'm like, I miss her. What is going on with her? Because she's the president of sag, which is a really, you know, tough job. I googled it. First thing I see is, you know her high school boyfriend, she married for like 20 years and he came out as gay. If you see the photos, you're like, well, I didn't. That's on you.
Hannah
Open your eyes, Fran. If I had a nickel.
Jacqueline
So. And they're like best friends as obviously. Yeah.
Hannah
They're not still married.
Jacqueline
No, but they were together for 20 years and then he came out as gay.
Hannah
But she's remarried, right?
Jacqueline
Yes, I believe so. But she found out because, like, a tabloid was like exposing him.
Hannah
Wait, that's fucked up. One, that a tabloid exposed him. But two, I don't see it as a loss.
Jacqueline
Not at all.
Hannah
I mean, it's like you live 20 years with your best friend.
Jacqueline
Yeah. Do you know what they call on the Gen Z's are calling it?
Hannah
What?
Jacqueline
Grace. Correct me if I'm wrong. A violet relationship.
Paige
Lavender periwinkle.
Jacqueline
I was so close. A lavender relationship, which is kind of fucked up because people see couples online instead of. Because I guess it's not socially acceptable to be like, gay. They just write lavender relationship.
Hannah
I mean, if I had a nickel. If I had a literal nickel for all the gay men I've dated, I'm.
Jacqueline
Only attracted to, like, very toxic straight men.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
I feel like life would.
Hannah
I love a toxic gay I'm obsessed. Obsessed with a toxic gay.
Jacqueline
Some girls always end up with, like, gay guys.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Which is, like, I'd love to know the science behind it. Is it, like, is. Is their dad gay?
Hannah
I'd also love to know the science.
Jacqueline
How do I get there? Are there some girls who, like.
Hannah
I think it's because it's like, deep down, I know you don't like. You don't even like women, so I know you don't like me. You're the ultimate challenge.
Jacqueline
I do have to say, when I see a hot gay, I'm so turned on because I'm like, you hate me.
Hannah
And that is loathe how I was born.
Jacqueline
That is my biggest fudgeing turn on. Also, I think it's my own insecurities because I'm, like, the gayest straight girl ever.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
I want a man to make me feel like a little dainty girly flower without having to change myself.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
So that's why I've dated, like, gorillas.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
But then for you, I think you're so girly that you can handle more girly, man. And you still are girly.
Hannah
Wait, I feel the same.
Jacqueline
See, if I'm with the girly man, I'm like, what's up, bro?
Hannah
No, I feel like, no. My new vibe is, like, ultra, ultra masculine.
Jacqueline
Yes.
Hannah
I need it.
Jacqueline
Yes.
Hannah
That's what I'm looking for.
Jacqueline
Are you putting feminine energy out there?
Hannah
I think I'm very much in my feminine energy.
Jacqueline
Are you sleeping on the right side of the bed?
Hannah
I sleep on the right side of the bed.
Jacqueline
Okay, then you should be good.
Hannah
Everything points to I'm going to be okay. But who truly ever knows? Actually, one of the girliest things that I wrote down was I had a pimple last week that literally ruined my social life. And it was, like, so traumatizing. But I figured out two way, two things that I was like, I can't wait to tell the gigglers. Okay, so I had this really bad pimple. I popped it, but it wasn't going away. I. I took my Lumify eyedrops, put it on my pimple.
Jacqueline
You were doing a full woman in style. Yeah.
Hannah
I was like, I have concoctions that I've just made up. Put my Lumify eyedrops. Redness immediately went away. Then I took Neosporin because I had dried it out so badly that the skin around the pimple was, like, dried and crackling, and I just looked a mess. I mean, it was my fault because I attacked it.
Jacqueline
You were at the end of the substance, I would truly.
Hannah
Then I put Neosporin on it. Literally gone the next day.
Jacqueline
You want to be a dermatologist so bad. Wait, that's. That's incredible.
Hannah
Yeah, so I was like, I have to tell the girls to like non skin care products. And Lumify is probably going to like email me and be like, please do not. This is not.
Jacqueline
Girls are going to end up in the hospital.
Hannah
Yeah, they're like, I drank my Lumify.
Jacqueline
No, you guys, we're going to say it again and we shouldn't have to say this. We are not doctors. Also, you were in Miami and you were like going out to dinner with people who were not me.
Hannah
I knew you were gonna bring this up.
Jacqueline
Like, I don't mean it in like a negative way. I just wanna know, like, how was it?
Hannah
Okay, I went to Miami. I got to Miami on Thursday because.
Jacqueline
Dinners could be hard.
Hannah
I went to dinner Thursday night, but low key. Then I had to work like a literal 13 hour day on Friday. Did that. And I. One of my girlfriends came to Miami with me and I was like driving back to the hotel after my work day and I was like, Alexa's literally on drugs if she thinks I'm going out with her tonight.
Jacqueline
I was so surprised.
Hannah
I'm getting home, I'm showering, I'm putting my pajamas on. Mind you, I had a 7am flight Saturday morning. I was like, I can't go out.
Jacqueline
But did you have full glam?
Hannah
I had full glam.
Jacqueline
Okay. So that factors into it.
Hannah
I walked into the apartment, she said one sentence and I was like, okay, I'll come with you. She's in sales. She's in sales. She really got me. She got me good. Um, went. This was like, OG page. Went out till 3am, got back to my hotel, slept for one hour, got up, went to the airport. If anyone saw me at the Miami airport on Saturday morning. No, you didn't. No, you literally didn't.
Jacqueline
Back to the OG days when we drive to the Hamptons on like a Thursday and you'd be just in sunglasses, like about to puke. And I was like, it's. What did you do?
Hannah
I was like, I walked. I walked through the Miami airport with a hat on and sunglasses. Not because I wanted to be cool. My eyes were crossed. I literally couldn't see in front.
Jacqueline
And you used all your eye drops on your pimple?
Hannah
Yeah. I was like, no, lumify it because it's literally on my skin. I felt, I was like, I sat there Waiting to board. And in my head, I was like, paige, you're almost 33. Why don't you figure it out? But I had so much fun. I literally needed it.
Jacqueline
Hot take. I want the Miami airport to be better. Like, because when I go to Miami, I love Miami. The airport, I don't know if it's because they don't pay income tax. I don't know what.
Hannah
I don't know what science is, but.
Jacqueline
They'Ve left it for debt.
Hannah
Miami Airport gives that. There is a casino in the vicinity, and there is not.
Jacqueline
Miami gives everyone retired, and they're in Boca right now. Who ran it?
Hannah
It feels like I lost my money. It feels like you can't even walk.
Jacqueline
Like, there's nowhere to stand.
Hannah
Walk. There's nowhere to eat.
Jacqueline
Nowhere to eat.
Hannah
I'm sorry. I'm not getting a tuna fish sandwich from Subway at 7am in the Miami airport.
Jacqueline
I bought three of those little things of olives, which was a bad choice, but I panicked, and I was, like, shoving olives in my mouth for a snack. So, yeah, like. And we've traveled to a lot of horrific airports. Miami, you could do better.
Hannah
Miami can do way better.
Jacqueline
And I know we're, like, cocky because we have fancy LaGuardia and Newark, which took years of our lives.
Hannah
We're in New York City, as we should have the greatest airports, because you fly from New York to every. You can fly from New York to anywhere because it's the best city on the planet.
Jacqueline
We take it for granted.
Hannah
We take it for granted.
Jacqueline
Like, I'll be somewhere, and I have to fly somewhere else. And they were like, you can't. And I'm like, it's a plane.
Hannah
No, wait, it's a plane. I didn't realize that until I spent so much time in the South. I was like, oh, and I'll just get a flight to here? And they're like, no, you can't. I'm like, what?
Jacqueline
That's why we drive five hours to places, because there's no direct flights.
Hannah
No. And I'm not stopping.
Jacqueline
No. One thing about me.
Hannah
I'm not stopping.
Jacqueline
I'm not doing a connecting flight.
Hannah
No.
Jacqueline
I emotionally can't handle it. And.
Hannah
But we don't deal with it that much because we live in New York. But, yeah.
Jacqueline
Even though, like, planes have been falling out of the sky, I've had this real, like, if it's meant to happen, it's meant to happen vibe about it. I was on a flight yesterday, and these two. Talk about karma. This one woman in the front. She's. You're supposed to check your bag. She, like, gets away with it somehow. And I watch her, like, get around the guy. And she doesn't have check her bag gets there. They're like, ma'am, you gotta check her bag. And then the bathroom starts to flood, and she's in the first row, and the rug that, like, you're on is, like, literally, like, getting What? And I'm sitting there just watching this, and she's, like, losing her mind. And I was like, that's what happens.
Hannah
When you don't check your bag, when.
Jacqueline
You don't check your back.
Hannah
Here's the thing. I'm listening to what the airport people tell me to do because I don't work here. Like, who am I to decide?
Jacqueline
Can I say one more thing about male pilots?
Hannah
Yeah. Yeah. I can't get off a plane anymore. I've literally, like, now every time I get off a plane, I think they've listened to giggly Squad. They know I am giggly Squad. So when they say, thank you, have a nice day, I'm like, I feel like you put a little extra oomph on that one for me.
Jacqueline
Side note, why do they feed you like you're in little league? Like, I do not need pretzels and a cheese stick. Like, give me hummus. Give me, like, popcorn. Like, give me something nice. I don't know.
Hannah
We love the marketing girlies at any company. Like, the marketing girls run the country.
Jacqueline
Like, they really do.
Hannah
What. What is commerce marketing? I don't know what it is, but it's. It's. The girls are.
Jacqueline
Yeah.
Hannah
What's going on with the disconnect from air lines, their food and brands? Because, like, why there hasn't been a Chipotle collab on the fucking airplane? Like, I don't get that. Where are we missing?
Jacqueline
Apparently, there was a Shake Shack one, and people were, like, complaining, like, I don't want my airplane to smell like a cheeseburger. And I said, I will pay money for my airplane.
Hannah
I'll pay extra money. And it was, like, a limited time, limited flights. No, no. I want to get on an airplane and feel like, oh, this is gonna be so fun, because I can literally order whatever from. Like, it just. They need to step that up a notch.
Jacqueline
Also, like, I'm not asking for much. Like, what about a pop Tart? Just, like a S'mores Pop Tart.
Hannah
Like, I'm not actually.
Jacqueline
I don't want crazy mustard pretzels at 7am no. Or they're like, they're either, like, too healthy or too unhealthy.
Hannah
No, like, I don't need a quinoa with a tarragon sauce.
Jacqueline
It's a literal brick out of here. It's literally that. Or it's like the saltiest 500 calorie 2 pretzels you've ever seen.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Anyway, I'm not. I'm not happy about it. So anyway, that was just. That's why. Oh, I have one more note.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
If you're a pilot, don't practice your material on me on the plane when it's 8am and these guys start trying their one liners. Start your own podcast or crash the plane. I don't want to be a part of this. Like, it's 8:00am and I want to be asleep and not worry about things. And sometimes they're really. The only people that could be funny are actually the steward eye. Because they're these, like, pissed off women or gays. They can be funny.
Hannah
Absolutely.
Jacqueline
One more question. Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
I'm like, immersed in tipping culture right now.
Hannah
I know what you're gonna say. Have you ever tipped the stewardess?
Jacqueline
I'm like, we literally have to tip. Yeah, an iPad. But no one ever tips a stewardess when they're literally, like waking people up, which they shouldn't. That should be illegal. But like, they're. Talk about one on one.
Hannah
Yep. My flight to Italy. I tip my stewardess.
Jacqueline
What, did. Did she, like, go down on you?
Hannah
No, I just. I think if you're doing like an overnight eight hour, you've. You've fed me two meals. I'm gonna throw you a tip.
Jacqueline
Wait, now I'm upset. Do they stand there when you're walking off because they want to be tipped? I've never seen a tip.
Hannah
No.
Jacqueline
But then sometimes I wonder, am I insulting someone if I give them a five dollar bill? Yeah, like, that's a.
Hannah
Like, if you're tipping, you're throwing a 20, I think for anything.
Jacqueline
Also, who has the cash if you have the cash?
Hannah
My dad. If you have in your head, should I tip this person? And I don't know like, how much. I always. It should just be a $20 bill, I think.
Jacqueline
So I had this guy driving me around for my Alabama shows who I loved. I'm obsessed with this man.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
And at the end I was like, I don't have any cash. Can I Venmo you?
Hannah
Oh, yeah.
Jacqueline
And then he's like, I don't have Venmo. And I was like, no problem. I'll sell you and I get out the car. Try to sell him. Doesn't work. Yeah, text him. Hey, how can I pay you? Cash app. I tried download cash app.
Hannah
It's a whole thing.
Jacqueline
A whole thing. You have to put your card in.
Hannah
Okay. Actually, this weekend in Miami, all, like, the Bell men. Like, I'm like, bringing my B bags up and stuff. I'm like, I have no cash. Can I Venmo you? Everyone takes Venmo now. Like, in a tipping set.
Jacqueline
It's good, but it's so much more intimate to have to Venmo like it.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Cash is there was such a beauty.
Hannah
It's like, I don't now I have your phone number.
Jacqueline
Yeah.
Hannah
Like, did I want to see that?
Jacqueline
You Venmoed your friend for a Long island iced tea last week.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
And now I have to be friends with you.
Hannah
No. Venmo can be invasive, but it is.
Jacqueline
Good if you're bored.
Hannah
Like, when random people friend you on Venmo, I'm like, this is like, it's inappropriate.
Jacqueline
It's inappropriate. But if you're dating a new guy, find his Venmo and just. Yeah, you'll learn more about him than if you're just, like, scrolling his Instagram. For sure.
Paige
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Jacqueline
Chris, what are you up to on Venmo?
Hannah
You want to check?
Jacqueline
Yeah. Yeah.
Hannah
Let's see what your latest emojis were. While you check, I'm gonna do an egg freezing update because that seems appropriate.
Jacqueline
Oh, my gosh.
Hannah
Paying people for editing. Going to get a haircut. More drinks. Oh, you pay your. Your barber through Venmo tip. Okay. Okay.
Jacqueline
He's got a guy. He's got a guy. I love him. Guys, you got weekly. Yeah.
Hannah
What do you Shape up? Things are going all right now.
Jacqueline
I'm bumping back up the week.
Hannah
Weekly. No, I've realized I only want to date men who have a weekly shape up.
Jacqueline
Chris, on your birthday, we're gonna get a guy to come and give you a haircut during the pod. Okay.
Hannah
Wait.
Jacqueline
I love that. Chris just got so excited.
Hannah
I'm literally love.
Jacqueline
This is what dreams are made of. How are your eggs doing? Are they scrambled? Are they sunny side up?
Hannah
It's a process. It's like a full. There were definitely things where I was like, oh, that's like more extensive than I thought or, oh, that's way easier than I thought.
Jacqueline
Okay.
Hannah
So I went for my appointment. I had to do a blood test. I had to do an ultrasound. Did that. Everything came back normal. Then I did a zoom with the doctor where he Just, like, explained. Explained more things, like, in detail. And now I have to go.
Jacqueline
Did you listen?
Hannah
I did, I listened.
Jacqueline
Did you take notes?
Hannah
I actually asked a couple questions, and he said, good question. Good question. I said, gold star, A plus. So now I have to go and do, like, just, like, a quick appointment with the nurse to, like, teach me how to do the shot. And then once I get my next period, I call them and I say, hey, I have my period. And then I go in and I get my shot.
Jacqueline
Shots. You get more shots.
Hannah
So I get the shots that will be like, 10 to 12 days. Okay, then. And you do them while you have your period. Then when you're done with the shots, you go in for your egg retrieval, which is only 15 minutes, which I just had. No, you are asleep. Like, you're under anesthesia. But, like, what they call, like, local. Local anesthesia, I think. So, like, you're breathing on your own. You're not, like, incubated.
Jacqueline
Wait, so you're sorry, you're doing your own shots?
Hannah
You do your own shots, but then.
Jacqueline
When you have your period, they come in.
Hannah
No, no, no. You always do your own shots.
Jacqueline
Okay, but you don't have to do it until you have your period.
Hannah
Yes. So, like, you. I'm going in for them to teach me how to do.
Jacqueline
Got it.
Hannah
And then once I get my period and I'm like, I'm ready for them.
Jacqueline
So you only do shots for a week.
Hannah
You can do them for, like, 10 to 12 days. It's about it. All individualized.
Jacqueline
Got it.
Hannah
Then you, like, sign this whole consent form and all this whatever. The one thing I just didn't think about until I saw it was there's a question on the consent form that's like, okay, and if anything happens to you, what would you like us to do with your eggs? So the options are, like, discard them.
Jacqueline
Scramble.
Hannah
If you're married, do you want to give them to your spouse? Like, would he make a baby with your eggs? Would you want to donate them?
Jacqueline
Oh, I hate these, like, future questions. I literally have for breakfast.
Hannah
How many years you want us to. To, like, free have them for. I just did, like, the large.
Jacqueline
I didn't know you had to pay to, like, bank them. Yeah, like, they literally take up rent.
Hannah
Yeah, you're paying in, like, a rent.
Jacqueline
Is it more expensive, I wonder, in New York City than, like, somewhere else? Well, it's probably.
Hannah
I don't know. I don't know if. I don't know what, like, the pricing is around the footage. But I was like, wait, I don't know. I was like, I literally don't know. And she was like, look, we can always go back. Like, you can always go back. And if you change your mind, like, if you do get married and you're like, yeah, if something happens to me, I would want him to have them. Part of me was like, well, I wouldn't want a child walking around and them not having me. Like, that's crazy.
Jacqueline
Or be like, why do I have these weird mental demons and my mom can't explain them to me. Right.
Hannah
But also I'm like, if I had a sister, yeah. And she and say she couldn't get pregnant, I would want her to have mine.
Jacqueline
What if your brother's wife can't get pregnant?
Hannah
Well, that would be incest.
Jacqueline
My brother's sperm got mega baby with my egg.
Hannah
That would be so highly illegal.
Jacqueline
I literally spent three days in Alabama.
Hannah
You're like, give it to you. Well, gosh darn a page. Give it to your brother, he'll have a baby with it. Like, nope, super, super illegal. Could not do that. Could not give my brother's wife my eggs.
Jacqueline
Well, I was thinking about my friends, my Becca, who's a lesbian. I was like, do you want to use your brother's egg and put it in sperm? And you guys, I don't understand any of it. No, I understand. I just haven't talked about it. I think it's so good that you're explaining this because we don't know the details unless you like sit down. Also, I feel like our parents generation, this like wasn't as popular.
Hannah
I love the place. I'm doing it. It's called extended fertility. The doctors just so they really do break it down of like you're gonna have these questions. You actually don't even know it yet. And here is like, yeah, first let's do your blood test. Let's make sure everything. And he said that I'm at like a normal age for 32 and they can, they can really like, can they say, yeah, you're definitely going to be able to have a baby? No, but they can give you like the percentages of like, you know, in a couple of years, like how hard will it be for you to get pregnant? And if your eggs are 32 now, like could you get pregnant at 42 with these 32 year old eggs? Like, yeah, you definitely have a chance. But like, so they really just have a lot of information so nicely.
Jacqueline
Yeah, it's funny, I don't know anything about my eggs. Yeah, I say eggs. Weird. I don't know anything you do say.
Hannah
Like my mom. So I'm hoping that, like. Here's the other thing. Now I'm just, like, waiting on my period.
Jacqueline
Well, I'm. Are we synced up? Because I'm supposed to have mine.
Hannah
When?
Jacqueline
Tuesday. Okay. Don't be jealous.
Hannah
Like, Tuesday as in, like, tomorrow?
Jacqueline
Oh, yeah. I'm, like, so PMSC right now. I. I cried. Oh, my. I'm crying over everything.
Hannah
Well, here's what I'm manifesting. And recently I've been praying to St. Anthony because I feel like him and I are just boys.
Jacqueline
Yeah.
Hannah
For things that he's never.
Jacqueline
Things that aren't even, like, 100. Accuracy. He's never failed.
Hannah
Do you want to know what I used him for last night? I ordered. I ordered pasta, but they didn't have ravioli. But I wrote in the note, if you have ravioli, can I please have it? And I was like, I'm definitely not gonna get ravioli. Then I said, let me just say a prayer to St. Anthony. And I said, St. Anthony. St. Anthony, please come around. Something's lost to be found, and it's my ravioli. Got ravioli in my order.
Jacqueline
Dealing with an Amber Alert. And then he's like, hold on one second, Paige. The Sorbo needs ravioli.
Hannah
Needs a ravioli and a spicy vodka sauce. And he came through. So I literally pray to him for things that, like, he doesn't even specialize in.
Jacqueline
Side note, no matter how good of a person you think you are, whenever we get an Amber Alert, I'm like, I'm in the middle of a text. I'm in the middle of a text, and you're going to frighten me with some six year old's bullshit? What did she do to deserve it? Okay, no.
Hannah
And you want to know what? It's always the dad. It's like, let's just find where the fucking dad is before we all send a text. No. So I'm hoping that I get my period when we get back from giggly squad. Last leg of our tour, because that.
Jacqueline
Would be all the. All the gigglers are in on it with you.
Hannah
Yeah. So, like, manifest that I could then. Because then I'll be home for, like, the two weeks to do the shots.
Jacqueline
Can I say, like, the most fucked up joke that I'm not doing on stage? I did it once, and it didn't get, like, that good of a response. So then I lost confidence in it.
Hannah
Okay, great.
Jacqueline
It's really inappropriate. It might need to Be cut. I want to do a joke about why getting older is better and how getting older is better. Because if you run into a pedophile, you're like, oh, I'm safe. Because, like, if you see any other man, you're, like, scared. Unless he's a pedophile and you're like, few.
Hannah
Yeah. Wait, that might have legs.
Jacqueline
There's like. There's something.
Hannah
There's something there.
Jacqueline
Like, yeah, pedophiles are really scary. Unless you're in your 30s. And all the other men are scary.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Yeah. I didn't even get to all the things I've watched. Have you watched Gabby Petito?
Hannah
I thought we were going to say the same thing. No, no. I watched a show on Hulu this past weekend.
Jacqueline
Okay, you start.
Hannah
I watched a show on Hulu called Paradise. It's so freaking good. My guy from this Is Us, Sterling K. Brown. He plays.
Jacqueline
I love it.
Hannah
No, he's so good in this. He plays, like, the bodyguard of the President of the United States. But it's about, like, the world ended and now it's like all these people that have survived and they're in. But they made, like, a fake town. So it's like, normal work.
Jacqueline
I love apocalyptic stuff, but it doesn't.
Hannah
Give apocalyptic of, like, they're running around being zombies. Because that's like. I don't like that.
Jacqueline
Apocalyptic.
Hannah
Yeah. I'm like, it's dusty, it's dirty. It's not for me. This is like, they live in homes and, like, they have.
Jacqueline
I do feel like zombies are 90s grunge, though. It's kind of like. It's kind of Charli xcx.
Hannah
I've never been into, like, a zombie. Like, whatever. It's such a good show. There's only eight episodes. Six are out right now. And I don't usually like stuff like that, but it's. It's a really good show.
Jacqueline
There was a. I wasn't a fan. Like, it just. I don't think it was that well done of a movie. Do you remember the apocalyptic one with, like, Julia Roberts and stuff? It was on Netflix. It was called, like, oh, When They Couldn't See.
Hannah
Oh, no, that was different. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jacqueline
But it was really bad.
Hannah
But, like, they all, like, went to the Hamptons.
Jacqueline
Yeah.
Hannah
Yes. Which.
Jacqueline
But the Hamptons were only, like, 20 minutes away. It just didn't make sense. But then, like, when one of the. All the Teslas started, like, freaking. Freaking out. And then when. When the big boat, like.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Got turned, it started to Scare me to be like, are they warning us for something? Oh, we're starting conspiracy theories.
Hannah
Here's the other thing. I'm not fighting, Like, I'll take myself out. Like, please. Me and Daphne are like, I don't give a fuck.
Jacqueline
Someone was talking about, what are they called? Preppers who are, like, prepping for the end of the world. And I was just thinking about, like, I'd literally rather kill myself than talk to a doomsday prepper about Joe rogan for, like, 24 hours. No, like, you would be stuck with people who are preppers being in someone's.
Hannah
Basement eating a can of beans. Like, get out of here.
Jacqueline
Unless they have pop tarts. I'm not. Okay. So you're familiar with the Gabby Petito case?
Hannah
I am.
Jacqueline
Because we're journalists.
Hannah
Thank you.
Jacqueline
So this. If you're like, oh, I remember when it happened, because it happened pretty recently. They have so much footage and interviews from Gabby's, like, family of Gabby Petito. She falls in love with Brian Laundrie. I think that's his name.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
And then they head to Florida. You get all these new details. His mom hated her, like, kind of thing where she didn't like that she was taking attention from him. Like, real boy mom vibes. And she even had sent him a note at the end being like, I would bury a body for you. Like, all this stuff.
Hannah
The mom.
Jacqueline
Yes. A note basically being like, if you killed someone, like, I will protect you. I'll do anything you need. But Gabby, it shows how she started talking to her ex boyfriend, being like, I have to get out of this, like, relationship. And they show all the police footage when someone called in was like, this man's hitting a woman. And then they ask her questions and he comes out and he's like, yeah, she's being crazy right now. And, like, I hope she talks good about me. And then she's like, sorry. Like, she doesn't want to get him in trouble. So she's like, sorry. He, like, he. I hit him. Like, it was because he had, like, a scratch on him. And they were like, did you.
Hannah
You kind of hit a man?
Jacqueline
Well, that's. First of all, it's legal.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
But also, like, no girl hits a man for no reason, but they literally put him in a hotel. For domestic violence? No, for people who were domestic. Oh, victims. Abuse victims. And she's stuck in the van because they think she did something. They could have saved her life that day.
Hannah
Even if she did hit him because he pissed her off or, like, whatever. Have you ever been in a situation where, like, you've looked at your boyfriend and you're just like, if you really did want to kill me right now, like, you could, and there's nothing I could do.
Jacqueline
I know my husband's ACL is torn, and, like, I feel like I could run away from him 100%.
Hannah
But no, I know in reality, he's 6 5.
Jacqueline
Yeah.
Hannah
Like, there really. It really would be nothing you could do.
Jacqueline
Yeah, I know. Like, I kick him in the balls, right? I could poke his eye, right?
Hannah
No, you'd have to, like, squirm and figure it out.
Jacqueline
But all those TikTok videos that are like, hold his hand like this and twist it like, you know you're not gonna do that.
Hannah
No, you're not gonna do that. In the moment, you're so shocked. Like, you're literally just thinking about surviving. So that's insane to me.
Jacqueline
It's so spooky because she's crying and she's like, sorry about anxiety. Like, I freaked out. And she's trying to protect him. He's not protecting her. And he's basically like, yeah, she went crazy. And they believe him. And then weeks later, she's murdered.
Hannah
She's dead.
Jacqueline
But this is the crazy part. They don't. No one knows where she is. The parents of her are texting the parents of his being, like, where's Gabby? I haven't heard from her. Your son isn't texting me back. What the fuck's going on? Yeah, the parents aren't responding, so police go up to Brian parents, and they go, hey, like, where's Gabby? And they go, you can talk to our attorney. And they're like, whoa.
Hannah
Like, we're just checking in unpopular opinion. My child comes to me and says, mom, I killed someone. My. I don't want to manifest this. Oh, my God, St. Anthony, we're not manifesting this. Am I protecting him? Fuck yeah, I am. I think I. I think I am. Now, if my child is a sociopath. But he is serial killer.
Jacqueline
He is.
Hannah
I'm not protecting them. You have to go to jail. You need a therapist.
Jacqueline
You'll be there for your kid no matter what. If your kid murders someone, they're capable of murdering again.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
And you're. They're not gonna. I mean, I don't think they'll be killed unless they're in a state, then they could be killed. That. Does the chair. Whatever put visit your kid weekly in jail, like, as where he's not hurting other people.
Hannah
Does the chairs crazy?
Jacqueline
Does the Chairs also chairs.
Hannah
Crazy.
Jacqueline
Like, they don't even let you lay down. Like, they make you sit up.
Hannah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Jacqueline
But this is the conspiracy theory. So everyone's looking for Brian Laundrie, and the parents are like, he's here. But, like, the cops don't have the cape. They can't get him yet. Then apparently he escaped and went hiking somewhere because they're. This was also the hardest thing. Like, these people love hiking. So I was having trouble wrapping my head around, like, that storyline of it all. So I was. I don't know. I couldn't relate. But then there's. They do this whole search party for him, and then the parents in one hour find him. I'm putting that in quotes. And his body was already decomposed. This is what they're saying on Tick Tock. That to identify him, they brought the teeth to a dentist, and that dentist was the mom's brother. There's a conspiracy. I don't know if this is accurate, but there's a conspiracy theory that he's still alive in South Africa. I mean, sorry, South America.
Hannah
Wow.
Jacqueline
No, like, it's a lot to process.
Hannah
How'd they get his tooth, though?
Jacqueline
The point. The thing is, it probably wasn't his tooth. That was a good chance.
Hannah
Oh, I was so hungry. I'm like, so he took out all his teeth and he's in South America with dentures. That's a crime in itself.
Jacqueline
No. So that her brother, who's the dentist, was like, yeah, that's Brian. So that she could hide him in a different.
Hannah
Remember there was also a conspiracy theory. He was in, like, the flower bed in their backyard.
Jacqueline
Yes.
Hannah
I loved that one. That was one of my favorite ones.
Jacqueline
It's a rabbit.
Hannah
I was like, this a real Scooby Doo thing.
Jacqueline
She changed him into a rabbit with a magician, and now he lives in her flower beds. So that's fucking horrible and scary. But one thing I did like about the documentary, it really shed a light on the victim. I hate when they're, like, obsessed with, like, the man and how crazy he is. It was literally just being like, Gabby Petito was an amazing person.
Hannah
Here's something else to note. Someone kills my daughter. I'm showing up to your house, I'm ringing the doorbell, and I'm shooting you in the head. Like, there's just. I don't get. I. I will have called the cops. Prior, like, meet me here, because you're gonna get. And make sure you have your handcuffs, because I'm going to kill Imagine texting.
Jacqueline
The parents and them not responding to you when you say, you know where.
Hannah
You'Re those fucking parents too.
Jacqueline
Well, then we're wondering, like, why are the parents not in trouble for, like, whatever it's called, like hiding a fugitive.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Which is crazy.
Hannah
An accessory. They should be in jail too.
Jacqueline
Apparently he wanted to get her away from her friends and family, kind of. So he brought her in a van to be like, let's do a van thing. Because that was kind of her dream. And she goes, I'm gonna do a. Then I'm gonna make money and do like a YouTube van vlogging thing.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
And he didn't believe in it. He made fun of it. And now her vlog has millions of views.
Paige
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Hannah
Are you on the side of TikTok where girls are just like posting their like, like their legitimate abusive husbands? And it's like I'm like, wait, but you're still married to this guy. Like you're in it real time.
Jacqueline
Like what if he sees like posting him doing something?
Hannah
Yeah, like I'm on the side of TikTok where all of these girls are posting like videoing their husbands and the husbands don't know it and being like no one's going to watch your tiktoks. And then they do get like a bunch of likes and people are like, leave him. But that makes me so scared for them. I'm like, wait, you're still in it though. Like what if he catches wind of this?
Jacqueline
It's very interesting because it's like when you're in this like scary place, you like, you're really crying out for help. But these people don't expect the videos to go viral and next thing you know, like he's exposed.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
In a way that like he could get, he could hurt you. Yeah, I'm not on that side.
Hannah
Okay, sorry. You don't know where my algorithm has taken me. You know, I'm on like one time we were on tour though and I heard a guy do you remember when I heard a guy yelling at his girlfriend in the hotel room and I called down to the front desk? Yes, that was scary. And it took everything in me to not open my door and go out, but I was like, I can't. Like, what are you gonna do? I don't want him to know my room. And. Yeah. And then, like, beat me.
Jacqueline
What, are you gonna fight him? No. I was like, no, you did the right thing.
Hannah
You did the right thing. Literally gonna. I wanna murder this.
Jacqueline
Honestly, if anyone's man. If any man's voice. Voice gets raised, like, even slightly, I'm calling the police.
Paige
No.
Hannah
Calling the police. I actually one time was with a boyfriend and someone called hotel security on us because he was screaming so loudly. And in that moment, I was so embarrassed because, like, I've never had to talk to hotel security. But in that moment, I was like, I know a girl called for me. Isn't that crazy?
Jacqueline
What did you say?
Hannah
I was like, oh, like, I'm fine. But like. Yeah, that. I was like, oh, he's just like.
Jacqueline
You know, I'd be like, okay, this is the.
Hannah
But like, you're in. Like, what are you gonna do?
Jacqueline
No. Yeah, because obviously you told on him if. If he's in trouble, right? It's a very, very. Oh, sorry. I just, like.
Hannah
That was your inner. Your inner child.
Jacqueline
My inner weird transition. Have you watched Baby Girl?
Hannah
Yes.
Jacqueline
Okay. There's a. It's a very controversial.
Hannah
This is controversial. What are your thoughts as someone who literally watched 365 days during COVID every single day and use my vibrator to this man. I love a sex scene. I love a sexual movie. I love putting myself in the mindset. It does not. It's never too much for me. Baby Girl made me uncomfy. And I'm never like. I literally felt like a mom. I go, this is too mom.
Jacqueline
Really?
Hannah
I did. I was.
Jacqueline
You love choking. You love.
Hannah
Yeah, I love like a dominant. Like, there was. I don't know if it was because it was Nicole Kidman. And I feel like I have a relationship.
Jacqueline
That's my mother. That's my mother.
Hannah
I was like, no, she's my mother.
Jacqueline
So Gabby Bryan, one of my good friends, had the funniest response. She was like, first of all, no one's believing that Antonio Banderas has never given you an organ.
Hannah
No.
Jacqueline
That was wild. That was a miscasting.
Hannah
Because in my head, I'm like, wait, your husband's hot as.
Jacqueline
Also Antonio Banderas will make you come. Just pronouncing his own name. Yeah.
Hannah
I was like, this is not.
Jacqueline
And then she was saying how she kept, like, licking milk but pretending to be a dog. And I'm like, that's just, like, factually incorrect.
Hannah
Yeah, like, cats like milk.
Jacqueline
Um, I. This is the thing. I thought he was, like, so hot.
Hannah
He was so hot.
Jacqueline
And. But then I saw him being himself, which is British with, like, a weird haircut. And then I got the ick. So I love him and his.
Hannah
There were also just, like, certain things where I was like, okay, you're not doing this before work. She got, like, all ready, and then it was like, meet me at a hotel at. What time was that? 6:30am you can't do anything to me at 6:30am but get smacked in the face. Like, what? No. Get off of me.
Jacqueline
But there's. There's theories that make it, like, a little more interesting. I thought it was fun. I just think there's, like, two types of people. People who were like, this was too much. And then people who were like, like, okay, you, like, made her drink milk? Like, yeah, do more.
Hannah
I thought it was gonna be just like those types of movies, though. Really? Never. I feel like, do well at the.
Jacqueline
End, you're kind of grays.
Hannah
Like 50 shades of gray. Like, it was not never really it for me either. I was just like.
Jacqueline
It reminded me of the Barry Keoghan movie.
Hannah
Yeah.
Jacqueline
Like, they love getting a baby girl boy dancing to music. Awkwardly long.
Hannah
Yeah. And there's just like. I'm too interested in, like, logistics. And it's like, he showed up to the house. It's like, now you're just being messy. Like, don't talk to my kids. You know?
Jacqueline
So I want to say a spoiler. Okay. I'm gonna say spoiler alert.
Hannah
It's been out for so long.
Jacqueline
Fast. Like the Charlotte Tilbury.
Hannah
Yeah. It's literally been out for almost fast forward.
Jacqueline
But what makes it a little more interesting is, you know, it kind of doesn't make sense that, like, the dog attacks her and then he brings the dog back, and it seems just like, very planned. And she. And she's like, you just like, get people like, you understand me? You, like, saw me. Apparently, he's always been dating that girl, and that girl knew what she was like. And that girl told him the whole time to do that stuff so that at the end she could say. Then it's funny, at the end, she's not even like, make me CEO. She's like, let me talk in the YouTube videos.
Hannah
Here's the other Thing. If you're below the age of. What am I, 32. If you're below the age of 31, you're a fetus to me. Like, there's in no situation, I'm looking at a male intern and being like, you could probably me really good.
Jacqueline
This is my thing, though. I think there's an age of woman where you. You like, kind of forget what young guys are like, and you're like, wait, it would be fun to teach them.
Hannah
No, not for me.
Jacqueline
Like a guy.
Hannah
I feel like you and I are similar in that we're going old, decrepit. We're going, wait, Remember how hot of girls you used to be able to get? Here we are. We're not going opposite. Let me teach you. No, I've taught enough men, enough things.
Jacqueline
Luann gets it.
Hannah
She's. Yeah, but she's different than us.
Jacqueline
She's fine. Yeah, she's fun. Do you now think, because I. I got you to be a cat girl, could you see yourself with a Zaddy?
Hannah
100%.
Jacqueline
Why?
Hannah
I could never see myself with someone younger. I could only ever see myself with someone older who, like, falls asleep at like 9. I would love it. I would love it because I have. I like to do things by myself at night.
Jacqueline
No, I.
Hannah
There's nothing I love more than like, like, like occupying my boyfriend with like, his favorite show. And it's like, okay, I'm gonna put this on for you and then I'm gonna go do my stuff. Like, you know, so I could go older. I could never go younger. I just, I really couldn't.
Jacqueline
And I do have to say I feel like in your 20s, going a lot older, there's a weird power dynamic, but you're kind of prime time for a zaddy right now.
Hannah
No, I'm in prime.
Jacqueline
You're financially independent. You know who you are. You know what you want. An older man is not gonna.
Hannah
Like a crisp 44.
Jacqueline
Oh, no. But also, let's discuss how 44 is when their faces like, they're men.
Hannah
Yeah, they're men.
Jacqueline
Like, no offense, but, like, I see a 35 year old guy now and I'm like, okay, literally, you still have a call. You still have to call your mom.
Hannah
Yeah, yeah, you still call. Your mom is still, like, nervous that you're not gonna get married. 44. They're like, we don't give a fuck what he does. He doesn't even have a moment, you know, like, no, I'm down for that.
Jacqueline
Oh, my God, I'm excited for you. See, we're we're merging.
Hannah
Here's the other thing that people don't realize. The Vanity Fair red carpet is also me speed dating.
Jacqueline
So they better get ready for that.
Hannah
Hannah.
Jacqueline
Wait, I'm gonna be Chris Harrison.
Hannah
Yeah. There's no bachelor in 2025.
Jacqueline
Yeah, there is. Yeah. The Vanity Fair live stream.
Hannah
Melody Fairy red carpet.
Jacqueline
Wait. Someone comes up and I look at you and you're like, no. And I'm like, sorry, we can't interview him right now. She's not interested.
Paige
Sorry.
Hannah
They're like, no, you're supposed to interview me for my movie. And I'm like, sorry, I don't want to go on a date.
Jacqueline
What is interview? I'm not available.
Hannah
Like, Paige, it's not why you're here.
Jacqueline
What is interesting with meeting these like, A listers that we're going to do is, like, you know them, but then when you interview them, first of all, you get their vibe and you also see their actual height. I'm nervous that. But some celebs, I feel like I'm never going to be able to enjoy their movies again because I'll be friends with them. Now.
Hannah
Here's the thing, though. Not friends.
Jacqueline
I know them now.
Hannah
I'm not trying to, like, date an A lister or someone famous. Who's the guy behind you? Who's your manager?
Jacqueline
Well, it's normally. It's normally a stressed out female publicist.
Hannah
Yeah, that's true. But, like, is your financial manager also here with you? Or maybe your agent is.
Jacqueline
Here you go. Who's your agent?
Hannah
Who runs the agency, but who really runs everything?
Jacqueline
Yeah. Who's calling the shots? Yeah, because you're a puppet. Little puppet.
Hannah
You're a little baby.
Jacqueline
No, it'll be interesting.
Hannah
It'll be interesting.
Jacqueline
So to wrap this up, I caused some drama in an elite amongst elite daily, posted a video of Mary kill Italian food. And the cancellation was close. I wanted your opinion because at first I was like, I don't know if I said the right thing. And I thought about. And I go, no, I'm gonna double down. I think I was right.
Hannah
And I'm not someone that just, like, will blindly support.
Jacqueline
No.
Hannah
Anyone. It's.
Jacqueline
It's definitely not me.
Hannah
But let me tell you something. I think you made the right call.
Jacqueline
Wait, okay. I think you tell them, fuck Mary kill lasagna pizza or chicken parmesan.
Hannah
And why Chicken parmesan is just like, it hits everything. It hits everything. Sometimes with lasagna, if you don't have a meat in your lasagna and like, I personally sometimes don't like meat in my lasagna. You have pasta and you're like, I need a protein. Like, I need a meat.
Jacqueline
People up. Lasagna.
Hannah
People it up a lot also.
Jacqueline
Like, you always feel like it's too. It's too much lasagna. Not like too much. It just. Well, it's like the soup of. Of pasta.
Hannah
Yeah. And I'm gonna tell you to say something else. I never order lasagna. Never out.
Jacqueline
Never.
Hannah
I'm not going to a restaurant and ordering lasagna.
Jacqueline
Lasagna. I hate to say it. Lasagna is what people make when there's too many people at the party. And you just want people to be fed.
Hannah
Right? So, like, and that's why, like, leaving it on your stoop. It's homemade.
Jacqueline
It's homemade.
Hannah
And that's better for me. I'm not getting it out at a restaurant. Casserole and pizza is.
Jacqueline
Well, yeah.
Hannah
Well, we're not gonna kill pizza. That's crazy.
Jacqueline
Late night pizza has always been cold.
Hannah
Pizza, warm pizza with toppings, people. Pizza with just cheese. Every time.
Jacqueline
Turn me around. Yeah, every hole. Let's go. But chicken parmesan. Like, I respect, like, I respect its mind, I respect its body.
Hannah
I one time dated a man that was just like. Well, I actually. I shouldn't really come for this. Cause I feel like you like this too. That was just like, pizza with pineapple on it is, like, so good.
Jacqueline
It's very dez. DEZ has, like, a really good comedy bit about pizza.
Hannah
And I think it was like, in that moment that I was like, I just, like, will never orgasm to you. I'll never think about you later in life and come to you, so know.
Jacqueline
That I'm gonna ruin it. But this is one of my favorite jokes. He jokes that when people say, like, oh, I don't like pineapple with pizza. And then he's like, why? And they're like, I don't know. It's like, oh, so you don't like something? Like, have you ever tried it? And they're like, no. And he said, it's giving. Like, when guys are like, oh, I would never date another man, it's like, what, are you afraid if you tried it, you'd like it?
Hannah
Yeah, yeah, I've tried it though. And I don't like it.
Jacqueline
Yeah. I would never order it out of the blue. Yeah. And I would never order.
Hannah
I don't like. But I like pineapple as my fruit. I don't like when pineapples in other foods. Like, I don't like a pineapple sauce on like a random chicken dish or like, so I'm keeping out of it.
Jacqueline
It's like kind of Caribbean.
Hannah
Yeah. But even then, I'm just like, I don't like when things are sweet that are supposed to be savory.
Jacqueline
Yeah. And some people are obsessed with sweet and salty together.
Hannah
Yeah. And I'm not one of those people. I like him individualized. But anyway, that's just a little bit about me in my palette. What time are we at?
Jacqueline
Wait, we have to promote two shows. Vegas and Salt Lake City. Salt Lake City with the Mormons. Who knew the Mormons were not buying tickets? I'm just kidding. We have actually a couple tickets left. And we love the Mormon community. We take back everything we've said.
Hannah
This is the last time we're doing giggly squad outfits. And I have nothing left. I have nothing left to give.
Jacqueline
We love you guys. Thank you for giggling with us.
Hannah
And the next time we talk to you, we will have done the Oscars.
Jacqueline
Oh, my God.
Hannah
So next episode's gonna be so next episode.
Jacqueline
Make sure you're Swipe. Subscribe. Don't miss it. Swipe up.
Paige
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Jacqueline
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Podcast Summary: Giggly Squad – "Giggling About Lavender Marriages, Skincare Inventions, and St. Anthony"
Release Date: February 26, 2025
Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Duration: Approximately 68 minutes
Welcome to this detailed summary of the "Giggly Squad" podcast episode titled "Giggling About Lavender Marriages, Skincare Inventions, and St. Anthony." In this episode, hosts Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo, along with co-host Jacqueline, delve into a variety of engaging topics ranging from generational dynamics and pop culture to personal anecdotes and upcoming events. Below is a structured overview capturing all key discussions, insights, and notable moments from the episode.
Timestamp: 01:24 – 03:07
The episode kicks off with playful exchanges between the hosts about generational identities. Jacqueline humorously identifies as Gen Z and teases Hannah about her millennial traits.
This lighthearted segment sets a fun tone, highlighting the friendly rivalry and self-awareness among different generations.
Timestamp: 03:07 – 04:25
The hosts discuss their preferences for characters from the TV show "Big."
They analyze character decisions, ultimately favoring the character Big over Aiden, citing deeper character traits and development over time.
Timestamp: 04:25 – 10:09
Hannah shares her thoughts on Chris D'Elsteano’s stand-up special available on Hulu.
The hosts critique Chris’s humor, particularly his blunt advice to single individuals, debating the efficacy and tastefulness of his jokes.
Timestamp: 10:09 – 21:42
A substantial portion of the episode is dedicated to the hosts’ upcoming appearance at the Vanity Fair Red Carpet event. They discuss:
Notable exchange:
Their excitement is palpable as they prep for mingling with A-listers, yet they remain grounded with their characteristic humor and candidness.
Timestamp: 21:42 – 26:34
The hosts share their frustrations and amusing experiences with air travel, particularly focusing on the Miami airport.
Jacqueline laments the lack of quality food options and navigates the challenges of tipping without cash.
Their anecdotes highlight the chaotic nature of travel while infusing humor and relatability.
Timestamp: 31:32 – 37:35
Hannah provides an update on her egg freezing process, detailing the medical procedures and emotional considerations involved.
Jacqueline and Hannah discuss the implications of fertility treatments, addressing societal pressures and personal choices.
Timestamp: 43:05 – 48:05
The hosts engage in a deep dive into the Gabby Petito case, critiquing media coverage and conspiracy theories surrounding the disappearance.
They emphasize the importance of focusing on the victim rather than sensationalizing the perpetrator, advocating for responsible media narratives.
Timestamp: 47:56 – 58:40
Hannah reviews the Hulu series "Paradise," praising its post-apocalyptic setting devoid of traditional zombie tropes.
Jacqueline shares her discomfort with the movie "Baby Girl," discussing its controversial themes and character portrayals.
The conversation underscores their varied tastes in entertainment and critical engagement with media content.
Timestamp: 58:08 – 60:07
The hosts humorously discuss the dynamics of dating as they age, touching on preferences for older partners and the complexities that come with them.
Jacqueline jokes about the fantasies and realities of relationships, infusing humor into topics of aging and attraction.
Jacqueline: "I identify as Gen Z, so I'm allowed to call people out as millennial." ([01:57])
Hannah: "I love being a millennial." ([01:50])
Hannah: "When my frontal lobe is fully formed, I'm back to Big." ([03:07])
Jacqueline: "I wish he had worded it like, 'I’m so grateful for this award.'" ([09:05])
Hannah: "It’s not as intense as you think it is." ([09:05])
Jacqueline: "We need a platform that just gets us." ([12:25])
Jacqueline: "I have to Venmo you?" ([26:06])
Hannah: "Venmo can be invasive, but it is." ([26:47])
Jacqueline: "It's a conspiracy theory that he's still alive in South Africa." ([46:49])
Hannah: "Baby Girl made me uncomfy." ([55:51])
In this episode, "Giggly Squad" masterfully blends humor with insightful discussions on a range of topics. From dissecting generational stereotypes and critiquing media portrayals to sharing personal health journeys and travel mishaps, the hosts offer a candid and entertaining listen. Their ability to interweave lighthearted banter with meaningful conversations ensures that both regular listeners and newcomers alike find value and amusement in their discussions.
Key Takeaways:
For those who enjoy a blend of humor, candid conversations, and relatable anecdotes, this episode of "Giggly Squad" is a must-listen.