Paige Desorbo (2:14)

So many people have been saying that online.

Hannah Berner (2:16)

I didn't even see that. Like, I haven't seen any correspondence.

Paige Desorbo (2:20)

You know what's funny is, like, I don't feel like he's, like, missing.

Hannah Berner (2:23)

Has he come up on your feet?

Paige Desorbo (2:25)

No, but, like, I'm not worried where he is yet.

Hannah Berner (2:34)

I mean, I love men. Taking a break.

Des (2:37)

He's taking a rest.

Hannah Berner (2:38)

Let men rest. Because if they don't rest, bad things happen.

Paige Desorbo (2:42)

They get worse. Yeah, they get, they get cranky and they start throwing things.

Hannah Berner (2:47)

They get people pregnant.

Katie (2:49)

Let them chill out.

Hannah Berner (2:51)

Okay, so we hope that Jack Harlow's resting, having fun.

Paige Desorbo (2:55)

We hope that he's okay.

Hannah Berner (2:56)

Yeah, we send our love.

Experian Ad Voice (2:58)

How was your week?

Paige Desorbo (2:59)

Wait, we had Halloween.

Hannah Berner (3:02)

We had Halloween.

Des (3:03)

Wait, wait. Actually, wait, wait, wait. I actually have so many things to say about Halloween.

Paige Desorbo (3:09)

It's like, it's actually crazy. Okay, so this year if. Okay, so living in New York City, you have to like sign up for trick or treaters, like in your own building, on like a sign up sheet, whatever. In my building, I've seen about three kids my whole life, like there. So I'm like, surely there's not going to be that many kids. Like, I can get 100 pieces of candy and like, I'm going to be good. Those little fuckers wiped me out in like 45 minutes.

Des (3:42)

I was like, wait, I'm ill prepared. I'm like, I'm freaking out.

Paige Desorbo (3:47)

I'm like, what's the protocol?

Hannah Berner (3:49)

Are they taking handfuls?

Paige Desorbo (3:50)

No, I do. At my home, we are a full size candy bar house. So it was one per kid. Let me tell you something. Seeing the difference between a group of, I don't know, 9 to 11 year old boys compared to their counterparts of.

Ad Sponsor Voice (4:10)

Girls 9 to 11.

Hannah Berner (4:14)

Well, a 9 year old boy will mug you to your face.

Des (4:16)

No, I actually almost yelled, help.

Paige Desorbo (4:22)

I had this massive, I should have taken a picture. I had this massive like glass vase because I didn't have like a big enough like bowl.

Ad Sponsor Voice (4:32)

So I was like, oh, this actually is perfect.

Paige Desorbo (4:33)

It looks a little spooky. Like it's this. It looks like a big like glass, like cauldron. I was like, perfect. I'll put. And so like the hole to put your hand in to get the candy is not as like wide as the bowl. It's like a little bit more narrow. The boys came up and rang my doorbell and all seven of them tried to put their hand in the bowl at the same time, causing one of those Chinese finger things.

Des (4:59)

So none of them could get any.

Paige Desorbo (5:00)

Candy, but they also couldn't get out. I said, boys, you gotta go one at a time. You're not gonna get any. Okay?

Hannah Berner (5:08)

You gotta go before you just start going CR there.

Paige Desorbo (5:12)

I'm like, and you, you grow up to run our country. Four minutes later, a Group of nine year old fairies comes in. Gorgeous, stunning, dainty, sparkly. Thank you so much. This was so sweet. May I? May I please? I'm like, you are angels.

Ad Sponsor Voice (5:31)

Angels.

Hannah Berner (5:32)

Back in my day, we. We let the adult hand us the candy and put it in our bag. We say, trick or treat. And then you hold out your bag and you say, oh, yeah, we're not grabbing.

Des (5:44)

Not these Neanderthals. Okay, the times have changed.

Ad Sponsor Voice (5:47)

Then.

Paige Desorbo (5:48)

Here's the other thing. Okay, so it's like you. It's like a time. Because it's, I think, like in a building, it's like there's like a cutoff time. So, like, it ended at like, I want to say like 7 o' clock or. No, I think 8 o', clock, but I had run out of candy like 45 minutes prior to that. And I was like, shoot. Like, what do I do?

Ad Sponsor Voice (6:05)

I couldn't, like, leave.

Paige Desorbo (6:07)

Well, I mean, I guess I could have none in my cards.

Des (6:11)

I was like, you know what?

Paige Desorbo (6:12)

Halloween's over. Like, I'm done. So I texted my only friend that's, like, married and has her life together. And I was like, hey, what's the. So do you.

Hannah Berner (6:20)

But I. I didn't think of myself.

Katie (6:23)

When you said that. I was like, who?

Des (6:26)

I was like, hey, Katie, what's the protocol when you've run out of candy?

Paige Desorbo (6:29)

Like, do you just not open the door?

Hannah Berner (6:31)

The shop's closed. 86.

Paige Desorbo (6:33)

She was like, paige, it's totally fine if you do not answer your door. It's a Friday night. You participated. Don't be so hard on yourself. Halloween's over. I was like, thank you so much, Katie. I knew it was boys. If I didn't answer my door, they started banging on my door.

Des (6:49)

I was like, oh, break this down. I called my dad. I called my dad. I go, the boys are knocking down my door.

Paige Desorbo (6:58)

What do I do? He goes, well, you should have gone and gotten more candy. Then I was pissed.

Des (7:03)

I was like, no, greedy. No, I'm not going. And getting there.

Paige Desorbo (7:07)

It's over.

Hannah Berner (7:08)

You did above and beyond. Considering we're this awkward age of human where we're not young enough to trick or treat, but we're not old enough to have kids and partake in trick or treating. So we're like, in this, like, in between phase where it's like, we've been.

Des (7:26)

It's been years since we've trick or treated. I think you're making that spectrum a tad broad. I mean, what, you don't go from trick or treating to giving Birth. You have high school in the middle. Like, that's crazy. What are you saying?

Katie (7:42)

I feel like there's something about in your 30s not having kids, being involved with Halloween that just doesn't sit well with me.

Des (7:49)

No, it's not right. It's actually not right.

Hannah Berner (7:52)

And we don't know what to do.

Paige Desorbo (7:55)

I felt weird if my. I don't know why I keep saying the word counterpart.

Des (7:59)

It's really, like.

Paige Desorbo (8:00)

It's really nailing it, though, because I'm thinking about like a 33 year old single guy.

Hannah Berner (8:06)

Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (8:06)

Like, if my kids are trick or treating at his door, I'm like. I'm like, why the fuck do you participate in this?

Katie (8:12)

Are you giving people full snickers, you fucking weirdo?

Des (8:16)

Yeah. I'm like, no, no.

Hannah Berner (8:17)

I do also think you getting the full candy was, like, a little crazy. It's a little pick me up.

Ad Sponsor Voice (8:23)

Okay.

Paige Desorbo (8:23)

Do you want to know why I did that? Because growing up, my mom's birthday was on Halloween. So Halloween was always like a big deal at our house specifically. And my dad only gave out full size candy bars during Halloween. And it was like such a thing in our neighborhood that, like, he's the guy.

Katie (8:41)

I got a guy. I got a guy. His name's Gary.

Paige Desorbo (8:44)

It shaped my childhood in so many different ways. So now as an adult, I'm like, I have to do full size candy bars. It's one night a week. But wait, I'm actually not done with Halloween. I was talking to one of my girlfriends and she was like, oh, I make my kids, like, give away their Halloween candy. And I looked at her and I go, sir, you're a monster.

Hannah Berner (9:09)

To who?

Des (9:10)

I was like, I go, to whoms are you making them give it away?

Paige Desorbo (9:17)

And she told me this whole thing. She was like, there's this thing called, like, the Switch Witch. And you give her all your candy and then you switch it out for like a toy of your choice. She was like, I let them keep like a couple pieces and then I switch it out. And I was like, okay, Sounds actually great.

Des (9:32)

But as a former child, I'm livid.

Paige Desorbo (9:36)

I was like, I can't even.

Hannah Berner (9:37)

I guess she's teaching them, like, checks and balances at an early age.

Katie (9:41)

Like, I don't.

Hannah Berner (9:42)

It just seems like a lot of, like, administrative work.

Paige Desorbo (9:47)

Yeah. I mean, it is probably the healthier option, but I'm like, I couldn't. I can't. Then what am I gonna do? Then I have none.

Hannah Berner (9:55)

Yeah. My thing was, my mom was just like, please don't get sick, don't get sick. It was all about, like, when I was gonna get sick from like stuffing my face. One note about getting sick. I just had. I had the funniest thing happen to me this week. I'm having stomach problems and I'm not trying to make this gross. I just need to let you guys know, like, I'm having.

Paige Desorbo (10:13)

You have ibs.

Hannah Berner (10:14)

I have IBS for sure. And I. Yeah, no one cares. And I obviously haven't taken care of it.

Paige Desorbo (10:20)

I was just gonna say, have you ever gone to a doctor for any of it?

Hannah Berner (10:24)

Well, this is the thing. I told my husband this, but then like we go to, we're going to brunch and I'm like, I think I have a stomach problem. Like, I'm always have a stomach ache. Then we get there and I order the crab cake Benedict. So, like, I'm not doing myself any favors. Like, why would I order the crab cake better?

Paige Desorbo (10:41)

You're like, let me get seafood with.

Des (10:42)

A cream sauce to top that off.

Katie (10:45)

At 10:30am at this point, I'm self sabotaging. Like, I'm like, But it's like, that's what I want.

Paige Desorbo (10:51)

You're like a child testing the waters. You're like, what if I stuff it full of cheese?

Katie (10:57)

Or I'm like, if I'm going to have diarrhea anyway, why not go off?

Hannah Berner (11:01)

Why not go hard?

Katie (11:01)

Why not live life if it's going to go through me?

Hannah Berner (11:04)

And then of course I get like the like maple latte, applesauce latte, and that's gonna go right through me with whole milk. And then I get mad when I have a stomachache. So my husband's just like, he said what you said. He's like, you got it. Like get checked. I did once do like a. Am I allergic to anything? I didn't get anything. So I thought I was just.

Paige Desorbo (11:23)

I like don't believe in those tests though. I think you can have like an intolerance and it not be like full fledged. Like, I feel like it truly is a spectrum.

Katie (11:31)

Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (11:31)

So.

Katie (11:32)

So I'm like all things like, sorry, I'm not allergic to grass. There's other issues going on.

Paige Desorbo (11:37)

I think you should do that thing where people take out like one thing and just see, see, I.

Hannah Berner (11:44)

This is coming from a person who once said, I'm going to go on a diet. And by dinner I forgot I was on a diet.

Paige Desorbo (11:50)

Yeah, I think, I think you really need to just like cut the dairy.

Hannah Berner (11:54)

Okay.

Paige Desorbo (11:55)

Or at least wean it back.

Katie (11:56)

Just wean such a funny word.

Paige Desorbo (11:59)

Like literal drug addicts with dairy.

Des (12:01)

We're like, hey, I don't want you to withdraw.

Paige Desorbo (12:04)

Have a little bit.

Ad Sponsor Voice (12:04)

At breakfast.

Hannah Berner (12:06)

Last time I tried to not do dairy, I ate butter. And I was like, butter is not dairy.

Des (12:09)

But I tell.

Hannah Berner (12:12)

I tell this. I'm like, I can't eat right now. Even, like, he wanted to, like, hook up. And I was like, no, I have a stomach. I can't. And he was like, okay. And he left to go golfing. I'm like, I have a stomachache. But then, like, two hours go by, and I got hungry. I was shitting myself.

Katie (12:28)

So I was really, like, I was empty. I was so hungry. So I opened the fridge, and he.

Paige Desorbo (12:34)

Was like, I feel like you're doing purpose.

Katie (12:37)

There's this strong smell coming from the fridge, and I.

Hannah Berner (12:40)

It's like leftovers. And I open it, and it looks like it's like. Like parsnip puree type sweet smell. I'm like, okay, I don't like that. But then I noticed ribs. And I was like, oh, my God, ribs.

Katie (12:50)

And I'm like, let me just taste.

Hannah Berner (12:51)

A little bit of it. And it tasted so good. Next thing you know, I eat, like, four ribs.

Des (12:56)

And then next thing you know, I'm.

Paige Desorbo (12:58)

Balls deep in barbecue sauce. I don't know how I got there.

Des (13:01)

I'm having amnesia. My husband comes home.

Katie (13:07)

Des comes home. I'm lying on the floor, ribs all over me. I spent our whole bank account. I have a fucking needle on my arm with barbecue sauce.

Des (13:20)

The house. There's a foreclosure sign out in front of the house.

Katie (13:27)

He looks at me and he's like, are you hungry for dinner? And I'm like, no, I actually had the ribs inside. They're really good. And he goes, what? And I said, yeah.

Hannah Berner (13:36)

He goes, babe, those are, like, over a week old.

Katie (13:42)

And I was like, what do you.

Paige Desorbo (13:43)

Wait, what do you mean?

Hannah Berner (13:45)

Because my parents had come over, like.

Katie (13:47)

Actually, like, five days ago.

Hannah Berner (13:48)

And I was like, if that was from when my parents came. And he's like, no, that's a week and a half. And he's like, oh, sorry. It's my fault. It's my fault.

Katie (13:54)

So we're sitting there, and I'm like.

Hannah Berner (13:56)

So what's gonna happen?

Des (13:58)

This is like, this is.

Hannah Berner (14:00)

This is.

Paige Desorbo (14:00)

I've dreamt of this scenario with you, but in terms of, like, taking a drug, like.

Des (14:05)

Like you sitting there being like, wait.

Paige Desorbo (14:07)

So it's going to happen in the.

Des (14:08)

Next couple of hours.

Katie (14:09)

I was like, what should I go, should I throw up? And I'm like, no, I can't make myself throw up. Like, I literally won't, Like, I. I can't throw up. It's like my biggest fear.

Paige Desorbo (14:17)

Oh, my God, you're so lucky. You didn't have to, like, go to the hospital.

Hannah Berner (14:20)

No. Well, that's what. He's googling it. And he's like, we might have to go to the hospital.

Katie (14:24)

And I'm just sitting there, like, scared.

Paige Desorbo (14:26)

Waiting for something to era.

Hannah Berner (14:27)

And he's like, why would you do that? You have stomach problems.

Katie (14:30)

Why would you eat ribs if you.

Hannah Berner (14:32)

Like, have a stomachache? And I was like, I don't know. Like, I'm just like, I don't know.

Des (14:38)

He's like, have you ever heard of a goddamn cracker, A piece of toast.

Katie (14:48)

A rice cake?

Des (14:50)

You're like, do you have a barbecue marmalade? No, it was.

Katie (14:56)

Colon, which I'm pretty sure that has e. Like, it was coastline.

Hannah Berner (15:00)

Like, it was.

Katie (15:00)

I went crazy. I blacked out. He literally all he wanted to do.

Hannah Berner (15:04)

Was, like, have sex.

Katie (15:05)

And he's like, well, we probably like a 30 minute window.

Hannah Berner (15:10)

By the way.

Katie (15:10)

This is marriage. You guys trying to have sex in.

Hannah Berner (15:13)

Between me, having diarrhea, hitting yourself. So we hook up. It was fucking crazy.

Katie (15:21)

I'm, like, sweating. I'm like, is this because I'm about to die? He's like, I'm not going on top. Like, that would be crazy.

Des (15:34)

Like, that would be honestly just from the laws of physics. That would be such a death wish.

Katie (15:40)

Also, then we got a fight because right before we hooked.

Hannah Berner (15:43)

I love saying hooked up with my husband.

Paige Desorbo (15:45)

Yeah, it's actually making it so, like, teen novel. I'm like, sus.

Katie (15:50)

And right before I go in to.

Hannah Berner (15:52)

Kiss him, I smell my armpit. And he's like, can you not do that?

Des (15:57)

You're a barn animal.

Katie (16:02)

I was like, why? Sorry, I was checking before I, like, got all up in you. Like, I was checking if I smell good. He's like, can you not do that right before you kiss me?

Des (16:12)

I'm on his side with that one. I know you.

Paige Desorbo (16:17)

What a jarring move.

Katie (16:20)

But then I was like, okay, do.

Hannah Berner (16:21)

I have to be, like, subtle with it? Like, Anyway, so then we just kind.

Katie (16:26)

Of sat there awkwardly for a while.

Hannah Berner (16:28)

And my stomach was 100% fine.

Katie (16:32)

Like, arguably the best it's been.

Paige Desorbo (16:35)

I've seen worse. Get the fuck out of here.

Katie (16:37)

My stomach's like, whatever bacterial infection you had, I think it canceled it out.

Hannah Berner (16:41)

So I was.

Paige Desorbo (16:42)

Told me we went to College, please.

Katie (16:46)

This is fucking amateur hour. So you think someone with the most sensitive stomach ever shouldn't eat two week old meat?

Hannah Berner (16:54)

But I throve. I thrived.

Paige Desorbo (16:57)

No, that's why I really think yours is mental. No, no, specifically dairy. Because every time you really do have, like a crazy poop attack, you've either had like sour cream, melted cheese, a latte.

Hannah Berner (17:12)

Wait, you're turning me on.

Des (17:19)

No, Sour cream and melted cheese.

Hannah Berner (17:24)

Yes.

Des (17:24)

You're like, wait, those are all my favorite.

Hannah Berner (17:31)

Oh, God.

Katie (17:32)

So keep you guys posted.

Des (17:34)

Wait, so we.

Hannah Berner (17:36)

We both did the same thing for Halloween. We took photos and then called it a day. How long did your hair and makeup.

Paige Desorbo (17:44)

That's a good adult thing to do.

Hannah Berner (17:45)

How long did it take to get your outfit together?

Paige Desorbo (17:48)

Well, I had to get hair and makeup for something else, like prior in the morning. So I was like, let me just tack on this. So it wasn't like I. It was like a whole production. It was literally like Taylor did my makeup in like 30 minutes and Mitchell just like, put a wig on me. But it was fun. It was cute. And I wanted to do something for Daphne because she's my child.

Hannah Berner (18:10)

She looked.

Paige Desorbo (18:11)

She was amazing. She was really, like, not feeling it, but it was fine.

Katie (18:14)

Daphne's tired.

Paige Desorbo (18:16)

She's tired. She's been working a lot. She's. She's exhausted.

Hannah Berner (18:22)

I made Grace come with me to Manhattan Mini Storage. I saw that because that's where I have some stuff stored. And I realized it looks just like the severance hallways.

Paige Desorbo (18:32)

And you, like, really looked like her.

Hannah Berner (18:35)

Oh, my God. Thank you. I think Halloween costumes are good when you, like, naturally slightly look like the person. Like Post Malone or. You look like a cat.

Ad Sponsor Voice (18:45)

A cat.

Paige Desorbo (18:46)

Next year, we have to do a couples thing.

Hannah Berner (18:49)

Yeah. People sent me some good ideas for us, and I was like, duh. Of course we should have done that. But we both. I came up with my costume like a week before.

Ad Sponsor Voice (18:57)

A week before.

Paige Desorbo (18:57)

Oh.

Hannah Berner (18:58)

But also, I ordered so many things for this costume and the skirt didn't arrive the day of. So I had Grace go up and get a Hugo Boss navy skirt, which is gorgeous. Pencil skirt, so cunty. But that was the day of. So it got kind of crazy. It was a little Devil wears Prada. I was like, you were having to get this look together.

Ad Sponsor Voice (19:19)

Absolutely.

Paige Desorbo (19:22)

One last thing about Halloween. So look, not that I would ever take sides because I'm not dialed in enough to even take a side, but I am an appreciator of art.

Ad Sponsor Voice (19:40)

Okay.

Paige Desorbo (19:41)

And so when somebody claps back or has a Rebuttal in an art form.

Ad Sponsor Voice (19:46)

Full way.

Paige Desorbo (19:47)

I'm tuned in. I'm sat. I want to appreciate it.

Hannah Berner (19:50)

Impressed, almost.

Des (19:51)

I'm.

Paige Desorbo (19:52)

I would say.

Ad Sponsor Voice (19:52)

I dare to say I'm impressed.

Paige Desorbo (19:54)

So, Travis, Kelsey's ex girlfriend, Kayla, did you see what she did for Halloween? I have. In my. In all my days, I don't think I've seen a better executed, like, hey, you said something about me. This is what I wanted to say back to it.

Hannah Berner (20:13)

I watched it 400 times.

Paige Desorbo (20:15)

I mean, I couldn't. I couldn't stop. For people that don't know, everyone was saying that Taylor Swift had said something in her new album, kind of like shading Travis's ex, Kayla. So for Halloween, Kayla dressed as Toni Braxton from a very specific music video of the song named He's Not Man Enough for Me, which in the lyrics it says, I told him to leave. So I don't care that you're marrying him, because I'm not thinking about him. He's thinking about me. He wasn't man enough for me. I don't want him. And if I had a nickel.

Ad Sponsor Voice (20:55)

I.

Paige Desorbo (20:56)

Would have a million nickels.

Hannah Berner (20:57)

But.

Paige Desorbo (21:00)

It was just so elegantly clapped back at in like, a very simple way. And I would just. I was really impressed because the clapping.

Hannah Berner (21:11)

Back can go sour. It can look too hard. You can look bad. Yes. You could look.

Paige Desorbo (21:17)

It could be a bit too mean.

Hannah Berner (21:20)

Yes.

Paige Desorbo (21:20)

You don't know when threshold is until the Internet gets a hold of it 100%.

Hannah Berner (21:25)

But she looked stunning. See, I'm. I'm on my, like, Dancing with the Stars, you know, run.

Paige Desorbo (21:31)

Got a lot of drama going on over there.

Hannah Berner (21:33)

No, but I saw that. I said, put Kayla on Dancing with the Stars now. I'm a casting director for Dancing with the Stars now. I produce.

Katie (21:39)

I'm producing Dancing with the Stars.

Paige Desorbo (21:40)

Put her on Dancing with the Stars.

Hannah Berner (21:41)

Put her on Dancing with the Stars. Like, she's actually the perfect kind of talent for that. But, yeah, Halloween costumes, there were so many good ones. It's just Heidi Klum is so funny how she loves dressing up as the ugliest thing ever.

Paige Desorbo (21:54)

It's so interesting.

Hannah Berner (21:56)

I think it's because it's like the one time of the year where she doesn't have to be hot.

Giggly Squad Style Host (22:00)

She's like the opposite of mean girls.

Paige Desorbo (22:01)

Like, it's the one time of year.

Hannah Berner (22:03)

Yeah.

Ad Sponsor Voice (22:05)

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. The seasons are about to change, which means the days are going to get shorter. It's going to get darker soon, and it's also a time that you need to check on your friends. It can be a hard time of year for you or for your friends, and it can feel difficult to reach out to somebody. But once you do, the question always is posed, why didn't I do this sooner? And that's how we feel about therapy. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and their 12 years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time this month. Don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step.

Paige Desorbo (22:56)

Our listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com gigglysquad that's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com.

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Paige Desorbo (23:28)

Back to focus on what really matters.

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Paige Desorbo (25:05)

Experian.

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Hannah Berner (25:44)

I got my armpits blazer, Botox.

Paige Desorbo (25:48)

Oh, stop. So how do you feel?

Hannah Berner (25:50)

There's a place Babe aesthetics in West Hampton. DMS me. And they were like, do you want Botox? Because Paige just got Botox. And I was like, okay.

Katie (26:01)

Like, I don't need to do everything Paige. But I was like, sometimes I'm my own person. And I was like, but, yeah, I.

Hannah Berner (26:06)

Do have a sweating problem.

Paige Desorbo (26:07)

We're fraternal twins.

Hannah Berner (26:09)

We are.

Katie (26:09)

I was like, I felt it through her.

Paige Desorbo (26:11)

Yeah.

Hannah Berner (26:12)

But it doesn't go into effect for two weeks. But it's. Yeah, like, I'm sweating right now.

Paige Desorbo (26:16)

Okay.

Hannah Berner (26:17)

There's a lot of messages of girls being like, let me know what happened. So I will keep you guys posted. But it's. It's the most adorable, nice spot that I could roll into.

Paige Desorbo (26:27)

Since we're doing the aesthetics portion of the pod, I do want to give the gigglers an update that I did go to the orthodontist inquiring about braces on the inside of my teeth. And she was literally like, get out of my office.

Hannah Berner (26:39)

People messaged me being like, don't do it.

Paige Desorbo (26:42)

She was like, you would hate it. I'm never doing that to you. You also don't need it. So she was like, just go to your dentist. Like, he'll figure something out for you.

Hannah Berner (26:49)

I think you just have to restart Invisalign.

Paige Desorbo (26:51)

Well, I went back to my dentist, who's like, been my friend for a while. If you need a dentist in New York City, Eric Chazen, he's amazing. I've been going to him for like 10 years. He was like, I'm just gonna get. He was like, tell me what you hate. And I was like, it's literally one tooth. And he was like, okay, I'm just gonna give you like a no prep veneer right there and shut up.

Hannah Berner (27:11)

Or he could just pull it.

Paige Desorbo (27:13)

Yeah. He's like, or you could just put a bag.

Des (27:16)

He's so sick of my.

Paige Desorbo (27:18)

If you want to meet someone authentically sick of my.

Des (27:21)

It's my dentist. He's like, just do the Invisalign. So I don't get it.

Katie (27:26)

Okay, I'm gonna tie a rope around that. We're gonna tie it to the door. We're gonna count.

Hannah Berner (27:30)

Three, two, one, and I'm gonna give you a dollar.

Paige Desorbo (27:32)

He's like, enough. You know that like a doctor's fed up with your. When you're like, should I make a follow up appointment while you're in the office? And he's like, no, call like, usually they're like, make an appointment now because we don't have to chase you.

Des (27:48)

We'll call you when it's. When we're ready.

Hannah Berner (27:51)

That's like when I went to the dermatologist to be like, should I get like some kind of laser or something? And she was like, yeah, you should get like, maybe like a PR7, whatever. And yeah, they have like all these weird names. And I was like, okay, great, let's do it. And she was like, oh, you have to make an appointment for it'll in.

Katie (28:06)

The next six weeks. And I go, babe, you're never going to see me again. Hard it was to get me.

Paige Desorbo (28:11)

Actually, I did that laser. Well, that I said told the gigglers I was doing like over the summer.

Hannah Berner (28:16)

I. Ipl.

Paige Desorbo (28:18)

Was that it now?

Hannah Berner (28:19)

I don't know. Did you have to be out of commission for a while?

Paige Desorbo (28:22)

Fuck. What was the name of it? I always ask my friend Alexa.

Ad Sponsor Voice (28:27)

Laser Genesis.

Hannah Berner (28:29)

How was it?

Paige Desorbo (28:30)

Okay, so I did Laser Genesis over the summer. And because it kept getting like pushed to me every time I'd go to the dermatologist and I had a couple of brides, like in my DMs, like, should I do it? Before my wedding. I don't think it was worth it whatsoever.

Hannah Berner (28:43)

How do you know?

Paige Desorbo (28:44)

I mean, because they did, like, before and after pictures. It's supposed to be, like, for fine lines, acne brightening your skin. Like, not for the amount of money it costs.

Hannah Berner (28:54)

I'm obsessed.

Paige Desorbo (28:55)

I think it did it.

Hannah Berner (28:56)

I love the tick tocks of people being like, what you shouldn't waste your money on. I'm like, tell me. Uninfluence me, please. That's like.

Paige Desorbo (29:02)

That's so you.

Hannah Berner (29:03)

I love it. I'm like, call this motherfucker. Call him out. Side note, you were saying? I think you were saying New York City. I'm performing this weekend. Yes, this upcoming weekend. Carnegie Hall.

Paige Desorbo (29:16)

I'd like to attend to the green room.

Hannah Berner (29:19)

I didn't. I, like, got nervous to ask you. I was like, does she, like, what does she want to do?

Paige Desorbo (29:24)

Like, it's so funny because I got nervous to ask you because I was like, I don't want her to think that, like, I want to come and, like, sit and, like, annoy her. Like, she doesn't really like people cup. Like, you don't let DEZ come to certain ones because you don't want to get nervous. So I didn't want to be like, hey, I want to come. And you'd be like, that would actually, like, make me nervous.

Hannah Berner (29:44)

No, literally. Not at all. In the green room, I literally pretend like, I don't have a show, and then they'll be like, hey, you're on in 10 minutes. And I'm like, oh, fuck. I'm also going early to get my makeup done like we did at Radio City. So I'll be there. Like, I'm chilling.

Katie (29:57)

And I had.

Hannah Berner (29:59)

I had lunch with my nana and papa. It was so. They're so freaking cute. I love them so much.

Paige Desorbo (30:05)

Any good words of wisdom? Well, Nana, I have, like, Daphne all over my microphone.

Hannah Berner (30:11)

Nana's so gorgeous. And she's sitting there and she goes, I need something to look forward to. And I said, nana, we have Carnegie hall next week. And she goes, oh, I hope I can make it that long.

Des (30:27)

No, she's the most dramatic. Like, every time I talk to her, I feel like she's just stepped off stage of her one woman performance of her life.

Katie (30:40)

She's always, like, a little flustered from being so gorgeous.

Hannah Berner (30:43)

Like, she just did a meet and greet. That's what she.

Paige Desorbo (30:45)

In another life, she's Luann's mother.

Des (30:49)

Like, she's the original showgirl.

Hannah Berner (30:52)

Like, is that girl? And she said something I Think it's. It's. It's my little cousin's birthday and everyone's going to Europe. And she goes, what if I get sick right when everyone goes to Europe? Wouldn't that be. She goes, wouldn't that be horrible? I said, now that I've been in therapy, because someone in the family needs to go to therapy. I said, nana, do you know what that's called? She goes, she can't hear anything. She goes, what? And I go, okay, turn on your fucking ear thing. Listen to me right now. It's called catastrophizing. You're sitting here thinking of the worst possible thing that can happen instead of just being like, oh, it's gonna be a fun birthday.

Paige Desorbo (31:30)

It's in our blood.

Hannah Berner (31:31)

I said to her, nana, you're catastrophizing. And she goes, I would have nothing else to do. This is what I do. And I'm like, you are so fucking funny. She goes, what do you do if you're not catastrophizing?

Paige Desorbo (31:45)

You're certainly not.

Des (31:45)

You're certainly not planning ahead, I'll tell you that. You're certainly not.

Paige Desorbo (31:50)

No. Like, older Italian women love to talk up. Talk about when they're going to die.

Des (31:56)

They love it. It's like.

Paige Desorbo (31:59)

She's like, well, you never know. I might be dead for that.

Des (32:02)

It's like they always slip it in. In, like, the most.

Hannah Berner (32:05)

Yeah.

Katie (32:06)

She's like, dinner.

Hannah Berner (32:07)

No one's going to care if I'm dead for that.

Des (32:12)

Like.

Paige Desorbo (32:12)

Or if something, like, down the line. Well, I'll be dead by then.

Hannah Berner (32:15)

So it's.

Des (32:16)

Hope you have a good time. It's like, why, Grandma?

Hannah Berner (32:19)

But you know what's funny with the anxious Italian moms and a lot of moms, I feel like, actually DEZ would joke about this about his mom, how she's anxious about everything. So then when something really bad happened, everyone would be like, your mom's so calm. And he's like, no, this is just.

Katie (32:36)

She's been prepared for this all day, all year.

Paige Desorbo (32:39)

Someone say she manifested it.

Katie (32:42)

She knows exactly what to do. She catastrophized this in her own head.

Paige Desorbo (32:45)

She's prepared for this on so many levels.

Katie (32:48)

She's so prepared.

Paige Desorbo (32:50)

Wait, sorry. We keep going back to Halloween. But last thing I want to say.

Des (32:53)

About Halloween, did you see Lily Allen.

Paige Desorbo (32:56)

Dressed up as Madeline? Because she named that one song, like, after the girl.

Hannah Berner (33:02)

See, I didn't cheated with. I didn't connect. I didn't connect it. I didn't connect it. You would love to dress up as Madeline.

Paige Desorbo (33:08)

I feel like Madeline is such a good Halloween costume.

Hannah Berner (33:11)

I do have to say one thing. Lily Allen. There's like, tons of shit going on online about her, but I kind of love that. Like, at 40 years old, she just was like, I feel like being an it girl this month and, like, not to be, like, 40s old. It's more like just cool that any age you're just like, I'm going to pop off right now. Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (33:29)

It's like, actually, I'm going to change my life for a quick second.

Hannah Berner (33:33)

The clips of him going around are so bad, but, like, we've all been there. Like, I've had boyfriends like him, and I'm like, he hates me. And it makes me like him more. Like, I can tell that he hates me.

Paige Desorbo (33:48)

Yeah.

Hannah Berner (33:49)

And they either hate you because they're jealous or because they're so insecure about their own shit, but when you're in it, you can't tell that they're jealous. You can't tell that they're insecure. You're just like, I'm not good enough for him. And it really is dark. But he's. Yeah, I've. There's a million of them around, and.

Paige Desorbo (34:05)

I saw a thing that said that Millie Bobby Brown had, like, gone to HR like, before the last season of Stranger Things because of him. Like, that he was just, like, the worst. You hate to see it.

Hannah Berner (34:20)

You hate to see it. And people get famous all the time, and you don't know that they're shitty people.

Paige Desorbo (34:26)

Did you see. Have you watched any of the new Kardashian season? Like, I feel like I. I don't know why it feels like OG Kardashian, really.

Hannah Berner (34:35)

Okay, so I'm gonna. I'm gonna freeze. Because I love them, but I never watched any of it, so I'm like, is it like Game of Thrones? Like, can I just start season 48?

Paige Desorbo (34:44)

I mean, yeah, you can, but.

Hannah Berner (34:48)

It.

Experian Ad Voice (34:48)

Was just, like, peak.

Paige Desorbo (34:49)

At its peak.

Hannah Berner (34:50)

I was in a room with Kim Kardashian for, like, two hours.

Paige Desorbo (34:53)

Oh, yeah, Wait.

Ad Sponsor Voice (34:54)

Okay.

Paige Desorbo (34:55)

This is actually what I wanted to bring up. So you went to, like, the little. She had, like, an intimate dinner for All's Fair, like, premiere in New York.

Hannah Berner (35:04)

Yes.

Paige Desorbo (35:05)

On the episode. The most recent episode. They're at all is fair. Like, filming.

Hannah Berner (35:10)

Oh, wow.

Paige Desorbo (35:11)

And it's all about Kim Kardashian and Sarah Paulson, like, having the giggles at all times. Like, they could not get through this one scene. And Glenn Close was like, pull it together. But when they look at each other. They start laughing and it was so, so giving me and you.

Hannah Berner (35:33)

Sarah Paulson was there too. Who's.

Des (35:35)

Because it was like. Yeah, it was like this.

Paige Desorbo (35:38)

It was like watching them. They had like their own secret language of like what they felt was funny. And I feel like that is very much like if you and I are.

Hannah Berner (35:44)

In a group of people, no one else laughs.

Des (35:49)

Not only does no one else laugh.

Paige Desorbo (35:51)

But like in my head, no one else exists. Cuz I'm like, I'm not gonna waste my time talking to you because you're.

Des (35:56)

Not even gonna get what I'm saying. The way, like, we don't even.

Katie (35:59)

It's not their fault because we don't.

Hannah Berner (36:00)

Even finish the sentence. And you know what I'm saying? Wait, I have to watch that episode. That sounds so. I want to see like the behind the scenes of that stuff.

Des (36:07)

No, it's so funny watching them, like, giggle at everything. Like, Sarah Paulson dressed up as Kim.

Ad Sponsor Voice (36:14)

One day.

Des (36:17)

And just kept like going.

Paige Desorbo (36:18)

Up to Chris, like, hi, mom.

Hannah Berner (36:19)

Sarah Paulson is with like, an older woman. Men. Do you know this?

Paige Desorbo (36:24)

Like, yes.

Hannah Berner (36:24)

Female. Zaddy.

Ad Sponsor Voice (36:27)

Oh my God.

Paige Desorbo (36:28)

She. What is her. She was the mom actually on Two and a Half Men. She's been like a lot of things.

Hannah Berner (36:32)

Yeah, she's really. She's.

Paige Desorbo (36:34)

I can't think of her name. But yeah, they have like an pretty big age gap.

Hannah Berner (36:38)

So Sarah Paulson and I are like the same, but Sarah Paulson was there. I do have to let you guys know at these. You know, Paige and I don't. We get nervous around a dinner party.

Paige Desorbo (36:47)

We can't do intimate gatherings.

Hannah Berner (36:49)

And it's just so interesting. Some people, like, I'm outgoing, right? Like, I'm having fun. But some people, next thing you know, they're like sitting on Kim Kardashian's lap.

Katie (36:58)

Just like laughing, you know, like, you're like, how did. How did that happen?

Hannah Berner (37:02)

Where like the second. Maybe I respect people too much, but I'm like, when Sarah Paulson walked by the table, I wasn't like, oh, how are you? Like, I was like, hi, Sarah. Like, I respect you. Like, thank you. Like, don't let me interrupt your. Not your night. You know?

Paige Desorbo (37:16)

You know what? I feel like it is. And I actually have this. This like, question for you. As we're. As you're like in your 20s and you get out of college and you're like, trying to get a job, you always hear the word, like, you have to network and network and blah. And you have to go to this this and this. And I used to be, like, so against it because I was like, I. I'm sorry, I can't network, because that's just not who I am. I couldn't even sell, like, Girl Scout cookies when I was a Girl Scout because I was like, I'm not pushing.

Des (37:42)

These on these people that don't even want it trafficking.

Paige Desorbo (37:47)

Like, watching people, like, social climb.

Hannah Berner (37:50)

Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (37:50)

Is like, my worst nightmare because the anxiety that that would give me to, like, have to talk to someone, like, makes me anxious.

Hannah Berner (37:57)

And also, like, even as a. Like, I'll tell people who I want to be friends with, I'm like, please bother me, because I'm not gonna bother you because I, God forbid, annoy you. Like, that would ruin my day. So, like, when it comes to, like, these, like, really, like, like, famous people, like, like, I prefer to. To, like, one day be cast in a project with them. And that's how we meet.

Paige Desorbo (38:18)

Yes.

Hannah Berner (38:19)

And. And the. It's like, it's not. I'm not gonna say something that's gonna make Sarah Paulson be like, who's that girl?

Katie (38:25)

She's cool.

Paige Desorbo (38:26)

I'm not, like, going up to you and being like, can I lick your face and take a picture with you?

Hannah Berner (38:31)

Like, I'm never doing that.

Paige Desorbo (38:32)

You have things to do.

Hannah Berner (38:33)

I'm never. But will I look at Kim Kardashian the back of her neck the entire dinner and be like, oh, my God, that's Kim Kardashian. Look at. Look at her.

Paige Desorbo (38:40)

But I also feel like. And I still feel like I see clips on Tik Toks of, like, female. Female entrepreneurs or even, like, influencers or whatever, and it's like, you have to network, network, network. I just, like, don't really think you do. I think that in certain situations, like, I'm sure in certain industries.

Ad Sponsor Voice (38:56)

Yes.

Paige Desorbo (38:57)

But I am not. Like, if someone wants to work with you, they're going to be able to find you and contact you. Then, like, how you act after that is definitely on you and keeping a good professional relationship. But I don't think, like, going to every cocktail party is gonna, like, make you could be seen as really fucking annoying.

Hannah Berner (39:15)

Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (39:16)

Actually, you just pop up everywhere. I don't think so.

Hannah Berner (39:18)

A thin fucking line. I do think with the Internet, though, the fact that you can just, like, develop your own brand, then, like, it's so much easier for people to see you and, like, reach out. But, yeah, I feel like me and you rarely make the first move in terms of, like, connecting and. Oh, yeah, network. Because also, it doesn't matter if the person does not with you, they don't. With you, it doesn't matter like, how often you're around holding a glass of wine with them.

Paige Desorbo (39:45)

I will say I'm turning 33 tomorrow.

Ad Sponsor Voice (39:49)

But that didn't even have anything.

Hannah Berner (39:51)

Wait, it's tomorrow. Do you remember how Google said your birthday was November 6th? And, like, for five years, I thought your birthday was November 6th.

Paige Desorbo (39:58)

I kind of like that the Internet has my birthday wrong, because it's like. Yeah, not everything you read on the Internet is true.

Hannah Berner (40:06)

Can I say something about the New York City Marathon?

Paige Desorbo (40:10)

Oh, yeah. Because then I'm sure I'll piggyback off of it.

Katie (40:15)

So I have something to say about the New York City Marathon.

Des (40:18)

Wait, I missed it this year. I've never been fucking happier.

Paige Desorbo (40:22)

Oh, my God. I'm out of fucking town. Get a grip, you guys.

Katie (40:25)

The craziest thing about the New York City Marathon is what other sport do.

Hannah Berner (40:29)

They have full professionals and then, like.

Katie (40:32)

Joe Schmo competing in the same thing? Like, it's actually crazy.

Paige Desorbo (40:38)

They also don't even cheer for the professionals.

Hannah Berner (40:42)

No, no. Like, my friends, like, I'm. My friend is running in it, and I'm like, the race is over. The person won already. Like, how are you all racing in the same race?

Paige Desorbo (40:51)

Professionals do it in, like, 20 minutes.

Hannah Berner (40:53)

Yeah. It's literally like the US Open. If they let, like, your mom, who plays doubles once every two weeks, like, join, like, that's what feels like it's kind of. I don't know any other sport.

Paige Desorbo (41:04)

No, I actually think in terms of marathons, it's hard to qualify for the. Not hard. Harder to qualify for the New York City Marathon than it is for other ones.

Hannah Berner (41:13)

Oh, like, not everyone can join.

Paige Desorbo (41:15)

I don't think so.

Hannah Berner (41:17)

Have you.

Paige Desorbo (41:18)

I don't think you can just walk up and be like, I want to run the New York City. Can you?

Hannah Berner (41:22)

I have never even looked into the first step of joining a marathon because. And, like, also, I. It did seem like, fulfilling in a way where, like, you're with community and, like, people are rooting for you.

Paige Desorbo (41:35)

The thing with New York City is there's just, like, so much obstruction of the roadways, and it's like, the main.

Des (41:41)

Reason we're here is to get around town. So the fact that the streets are always shut down for things.

Paige Desorbo (41:49)

I hate it.

Hannah Berner (41:50)

Whoever logistically runs the New York City Marathon should run for president because they.

Katie (41:55)

How. Why aren't we doing this?

Paige Desorbo (41:56)

Are you kidding? Actually, I think the route looks so dumb.

Des (41:59)

I Saw an outline of it.

Paige Desorbo (42:00)

I go, well who the fuck would.

Des (42:02)

Want to do that? I would get dizzy. I was like, what a stupid route.

Hannah Berner (42:07)

To have a marathon in the a major city is like next level crazy. Like why don't you do it on a farm? Just let them run.

Paige Desorbo (42:14)

So, so proud of the people that did it, I'm sure.

Hannah Berner (42:16)

So proud.

Paige Desorbo (42:17)

Like I don't know if I'll ever do something in the sports arena where I have to train, but so more power to you guys. Ye so happy I was out of town for it. Thankful.

Des (42:31)

Thankful doesn't even do it justice. Actually my mom even texted me what.

Paige Desorbo (42:37)

She said and goes, oh, I'm so happy you'll be out of town for the marathon.

Hannah Berner (42:41)

That is so Italian. Mom. I was stressing that you were gonna get stuck and that you weren't gonna get home in time. Oh, thank goodness you're gone. No, I didn't sleep last night cause I knew the marathon was starting. If you order ubereats, it'll take 45 minutes.

Des (42:58)

No, after our Uber conversation where she was like.

Paige Desorbo (43:03)

Where I was like, you can't drink the drinks. She literally called me immediately and she goes and tell Hannah they do inject.

Des (43:09)

It from the sides like of the.

Katie (43:13)

Of the water bottle.

Paige Desorbo (43:15)

She was like, they do inject it from the sides and they do put poison in it. So please make sure you tell Hannah.

Des (43:20)

To try not text me.

Katie (43:22)

She was like, hey, I know you.

Hannah Berner (43:24)

Do little jokes on giggly squad, but serious thing going on.

Paige Desorbo (43:28)

The holidays are coming up, which means.

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Giggly Squad Style Host (44:45)

So I recently had one of those moments where I stood in front of my closet and I said I have nothing to wear while surrounded by hundreds of of things I never touch. So I started listing them on Depop. And honestly, it's amazing. You can sell the pieces you're over, and someone out there will be obsessed with them. And the best part? There's no seller fees. None. So the money you make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very chic. Plus, it's so easy. I listed something while watching TV and it sold before the episode even ended. Depop isn't just one esthetic either. It's all of them. Minimal streetwear Date night. Whatever your vibe is, there's someone who shares it. So download the Depop app and list your first item today because your old outfit might be someone else's new favorite. And don't forget to tune in to our latest bonus episode, where Hannah and I will take calls from the Giggly Squad Style hotline. We're helping solve your fashion dilemmas, shopping woes, and style questions. Submit yours now at giggly style hotline.com for a chance to get your question answered by us on the show Depop, where taste recognizes taste.

Paige Desorbo (45:45)

Hey, this is Paige Desorbo from Giggly Squad.

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Katie (47:09)

Experience.

Hannah Berner (47:13)

Also, I went to the DMV this.

Paige Desorbo (47:16)

Week and how was that?

Hannah Berner (47:18)

Well, I want an in depth story and burner phone if you guys want to hear the details. Where I tried to explain the story with my husband, which could. Like, going to the DMV with your husband and then telling the story of it, like, is how you can get divorced. So it was like, really risky of us to do that.

Paige Desorbo (47:34)

But he was like, many couples have gone to the DMV and then talked about it in couples therapy that same week.

Katie (47:41)

Exactly.

Hannah Berner (47:42)

Like, if you feel like just like testing or like, you guys haven't fought in a while, just be like, let's go to the dmv. But I fortunately, Des was like, busy with something. I love a man that's busy. He was like, busy. I jump in the car and he was like on the phone and we're going to the DMV because obviously I can't drive. And he was like, oh, do you have everything you need? What a great question.

Paige Desorbo (48:02)

What a funny question to ask Hannah.

Katie (48:05)

I go, what are we even talking about right now? Like, in what way? Like, what planet are we on?

Des (48:10)

First meeting you were like, well, what a genre of what things? Like, I don't know, what is jeopardy? So, but also like, emotionally or physically? Because emotionally, I don't know.

Hannah Berner (48:26)

So in the DMV website, like, if it's not obvious to me, it's not happening. And then I'll turn it on them because I'm like, well, that made no sense. But my problem was I had to do multiple things. I had to change my address, I had to renew it, and I had to get a real id. So I got my. I had my passport, I had my wallet, and there was like a random piece of mail for me. And I'm like, this better work. And I show up and the lady immediately was like, you need six points of identification. I go, what does that mean, six points? What does six points Mean six different. It's. Well, apparently things are worth different points. And I'm like, I don't. I know you guys have your own little fun language, but, like, this is.

Paige Desorbo (49:10)

She was like, america?

Hannah Berner (49:12)

This is America.

Paige Desorbo (49:13)

You're not on level six, you loser.

Hannah Berner (49:16)

So she goes, you need something that proves your address. I go, yeah, I have this, like, SiriusXM bill. And she was like, this isn't a bill. This is just some serious.

Katie (49:25)

XM sent you something like.

Paige Desorbo (49:27)

Like, you need, like, a Con Ed bill or, like, insurance bill or. Yeah, yeah.

Hannah Berner (49:33)

And I was like, okay, well, I don't have that. And she's like, it's okay. You can still renew it and get the real id. Do you have your Social Security card on you? And I was like, I didn't know if you know there was a card. And Des looks at me and does.

Des (49:46)

You're like, now you're making things up.

Katie (49:48)

Now you're playing with me.

Des (49:50)

A card, a physical card.

Katie (49:53)

I go, what do you mean to you?

Des (49:54)

I have a podcast where millions of people. I could say how you're cute.

Paige Desorbo (49:59)

She's like, ma', am, this is protocol.

Des (50:01)

Ma', am, you're under arrest.

Katie (50:03)

But DEZ is so sweet.

Hannah Berner (50:04)

He looks at me, he goes, I knew there'd be something. He said that in the car. He goes, when you get there, there's gonna be something you don't have. Don't get upset. This is part of life, okay? I don't know what it is, but.

Katie (50:14)

You'Re gonna not have something. And I said, thank you for supporting me.

Paige Desorbo (50:18)

Does this like a dad from, like, the 1970s that's just, like, so blunt. He's like, hey, you're not very bright and you're not very smart, so it's probably not going to work out in there for you. Just know people love you at home.

Katie (50:32)

That's literally the speech he gave to me before I went into the dmv. He goes, keep your head up because it's not gonna go well. But I love you for you, not your DNA.

Paige Desorbo (50:41)

We can't even believe you passed the test.

Des (50:44)

Think of the bright side.

Katie (50:45)

It's a miracle we got this far. I didn't believe in you.

Hannah Berner (50:49)

No one believed.

Paige Desorbo (50:50)

No, he's literally like an 80s dad. He's like, I don't give a fuck. Worry about it in therapy. You're stupid.

Katie (50:58)

He goes, back then, we didn't have therapy. We just figured it out.

Des (51:02)

We just pushed through, pushed it down.

Katie (51:04)

We pushed it down.

Paige Desorbo (51:06)

So, okay, so the lady goes, you.

Hannah Berner (51:08)

Have to have A Social Security card. And I look at him, scared. He looks at me like, I told you this would happen. And he goes, look, we practice for this. He goes, we're gonna have to get it mailed to you.

Katie (51:20)

And I was like, no. And he was like, just breathe. It's okay.

Hannah Berner (51:23)

And she's like, but I do think you could get it, get renewed. You can't do any of the other things. And I said, okay. One for three. Like, that's okay. So we get up to the place, and I'm looking in my wallet, and.

Katie (51:32)

I pull out a random card next to my vaccination card. I have two cards, and I go, what's this? And he goes, that's your Social Security number.

Hannah Berner (51:43)

He goes, babe, you did it.

Des (51:46)

You did it. And then the lady's just as shocked as anyone.

Katie (51:50)

He's like, you think that I just.

Paige Desorbo (51:52)

Like, won the lot cancer?

Hannah Berner (51:53)

Yeah. And then he goes. The lady goes, you can get a bill on your phone. And I was like, oh, my God. So I, like, find some bill. And he goes, you did it.

Ad Sponsor Voice (52:02)

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Katie (52:03)

I. I did everything that I need. Accidentally. I accidentally got my license at the dmv. Like, how is that possible? He goes, how the. Do you. Why are you walking out? There's your Social Security guard for the last 10 years on you. Like, that is. Is so not what you're supposed to do.

Hannah Berner (52:19)

You know what?

Des (52:20)

I'm taking your IBS ass out for ice cream. Get in the car. I'm so proud of you, Paige.

Katie (52:27)

We literally got ice cream afterwards.

Des (52:33)

Can I flake?

Katie (52:33)

Riverhead best ice cream.

Des (52:35)

I knew it. I knew he was gonna be that, because that's what an 80s dad does.

Paige Desorbo (52:40)

He goes, that was good work. We're going to get a McFlurry.

Des (52:44)

Get in the car.

Hannah Berner (52:45)

That reminds me. My dad used to be like.

Katie (52:47)

Like, if. If you win this tennis match, we're gonna get milkshakes.

Hannah Berner (52:50)

I'm like, dad, you want a milkshake?

Katie (52:53)

You want a milkshake?

Paige Desorbo (52:54)

Dude, just go get one.

Hannah Berner (52:55)

Just get a milkshake. So anyway.

Paige Desorbo (52:57)

Oh, my God.

Katie (52:58)

At the very end, though, she.

Hannah Berner (53:00)

She gave us the receipt, and the address was wrong. Like, she didn't put the. Like, there's like, a extra stuff at the end. And I was like, ma'.

Ad Sponsor Voice (53:08)

Am.

Hannah Berner (53:08)

Like, it's actually wrong. And Des is like, how did you see that? Like, he was, like, obsessed with me that day.

Paige Desorbo (53:12)

Oh, my God.

Hannah Berner (53:13)

He was literally even a blind.

Katie (53:18)

Not after the ice cream. He goes, once the ice cream stomachache.

Paige Desorbo (53:25)

Wears off, you're mine.

Hannah Berner (53:28)

You're mine. So then she edited that. But anyway, I don't recommend the dmv, but they do good.

Paige Desorbo (53:34)

You had to go an odd amount in the past.

Des (53:39)

Inhumane.

Hannah Berner (53:41)

Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (53:41)

It's kind of crazy. Did you see the whole article where it was like, is having a boyfriend embarrassing?

Hannah Berner (53:47)

Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (53:48)

Which, like, yeah, being associated with a man in any capacity at any moment in time is embarrassing. But then I saw this other girl make a TikTok, and it was just like. She was like, I'm just so tired.

Katie (54:02)

I didn't even know what it was about.

Des (54:03)

I was just like, like, repost, Repost. She was just like, how many times.

Paige Desorbo (54:11)

Can we, like, blame women for, like, everything? But she was really talking more about. Did you see the trend on Tick Tock where it was like, it's like, girls showing things that, like, their husbands do. And it's like, yeah, because I didn't marry a loser.

Hannah Berner (54:25)

Oh, I don't like that. It's very.

Paige Desorbo (54:27)

She was like, she's like, implying that the trend is, like, it's on the girl. To figure out in this plethora of men that are all losers, you have to pick out the one that's, like, not a loser. And if he is a loser, it's not on him, it's on you.

Hannah Berner (54:42)

Also, if you're posting to try to show that your man's not a loser, I don't want to say it, but he's a loser.

Paige Desorbo (54:49)

All men are inherently loser, you know, so let's just, like, say that first and foremost. But she was. Then she was like, relating it back to, like, our boyfriends embarrassing. And she was just like, no matter what, women are just, like, always blamed. And she was like, so now you're blamed if you have a boyfriend. Like, that's embarrassing. But the girls that have boyfriends, like, they're already embarrassing. If he's a loser.

Ad Sponsor Voice (55:12)

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Paige Desorbo (55:13)

Like, that's on you. And it really is like. And I feel like I can speak to it, like, having different relationships in the public eye. Like, any time one of my boyfriends in the public eye or, like, whatever would do something, it was always me that was like, like, well, she's stupid.

Ad Sponsor Voice (55:29)

For being with him.

Paige Desorbo (55:30)

Like, type of thing. It was never like, well, that was bad behavior on his part.

Des (55:34)

Yeah.

Paige Desorbo (55:35)

Which it is just, like, so true. Like, obviously, I agree with the Vogue article. Boyfriends are embarrassing, but all men are embarrassing.

Hannah Berner (55:42)

It reminds me of the Tick Tock with Law Roach. Did you see that from Victoria's Secret.

Paige Desorbo (55:47)

Where he's like, the world.

Hannah Berner (55:49)

Yeah. He was, like, from the same place. And she's like, the Bronx. And he goes, the world. So that was. He was actually telling her, like, we're both. Both LGBTQ plus.

Ad Sponsor Voice (56:01)

Oh.

Hannah Berner (56:02)

But she didn't want to acknowledge that in that moment. Like, she was like, I want some privacy. So that's why she goes the Bronx. And then he didn't.

Ad Sponsor Voice (56:09)

Oh.

Hannah Berner (56:10)

Want to embarrass her. So he said, the world. But I said that.

Paige Desorbo (56:13)

Wait, that went right over.

Des (56:16)

I had to watch.

Hannah Berner (56:17)

Like, they were like, there's layers to this. But then that's me when I'm, like, talking to a girl about men, and then she's like, are you married? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. The Bronx.

Paige Desorbo (56:27)

We were talking about you and your loser boyfriend. Not my situation. But not my situation.

Hannah Berner (56:32)

I do think, like, there is something to be said about not making your boyfriend, your husband.

Paige Desorbo (56:39)

Personality.

Hannah Berner (56:39)

Your personality. The center of your life. It is. I think it's less embarrassed. That's the embarrassing part is when, like, your happiness rides on him and your identity rides on that. And that's why I think sometimes it's hard. Like, public eye relationships. It's like you become a. Yeah. They merge your names and shit. Like. Like, it's. You.

Paige Desorbo (56:59)

Don't merge my name.

Hannah Berner (57:00)

Don't merge any name. Don't merge the names. Speaking.

Paige Desorbo (57:04)

Wait. You know what's crazy is, like, we're both girls.

Katie (57:17)

So stupid.

Paige Desorbo (57:19)

So stupid. We're.

Katie (57:21)

I don't even know why I started.

Des (57:22)

It out like that.

Paige Desorbo (57:23)

You're married, but, like, I feel like at. That's. Why can't I form a coherent thought? You're married and you didn't change your name. Did you ever think you were going to change your name? Because I did. And now as I get older, I'm like, in. No, I'm not changing my.

Hannah Berner (57:39)

I've known in my core since I came out of the womb. I also, like, there are some people, though, like, your last name's annoying. Like, that's not your fault. Like, it's like Krasinski or something. And, like, no one could spell it. Okay.

Des (57:50)

And that's a common for the other.

Paige Desorbo (57:53)

Sorry not to come.

Des (57:54)

For the whole Polish community, names are.

Katie (57:56)

Really difficult and it's not their fault.

Hannah Berner (57:59)

But, like, sometimes, like, you marry a guy whose last name is, like, Baker, and you're like, okay, let's do that. But I always, like, loved my last name. I identified by my last name. I'm proud of my last name. My mom added a hyphen which in.

Des (58:16)

My mom, by the way.

Paige Desorbo (58:18)

Maybe it was like, that was like, them. Was that dipping their toes?

Hannah Berner (58:21)

Yes.

Des (58:21)

They were like, hey, we can't be.

Paige Desorbo (58:23)

Full feminist because, like, society will murder us.

Katie (58:25)

I'm not an angry feminist.

Des (58:27)

Yeah. She's like.

Paige Desorbo (58:28)

They're like, let us dip it in.

Hannah Berner (58:30)

But apparently that's a nightmare at the dmv.

Des (58:33)

No, that's why I really brought it up, because I was like, you have a gripe with the dmv.

Hannah Berner (58:38)

Like, you girls will get married and then not be able to go on their honeymoon because their passport doesn't match their, like, like their new name or like, they didn't put the hyphen in the right place.

Paige Desorbo (58:50)

That just seems like so much admin that I'm not ever going to be prepared to, like, start.

Hannah Berner (58:55)

And growing up in Parksville, Brooklyn, it was pretty, like, open and free. And one of my mom's friends merged her name with her husband's name to create a new last name, like a. Like a celebrity name.

Katie (59:10)

It was quite creative.

Paige Desorbo (59:12)

That's a bit. That's a bit out outside my. My range.

Hannah Berner (59:15)

It is kind of annoying that, like, my brother's kids are burners, but, like, my kids are not gonna be burners. And I'm like, but I'm. I am. I am a burner.

Paige Desorbo (59:24)

I started this family. You'd all be nothing without me. No. One of my favorite bits ever is from Chelsea Handler's Stand up, where, like, she talks about her brother, like, having kids and his legacy.

Ad Sponsor Voice (59:39)

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Paige Desorbo (59:39)

Like, it's such a good. Such a good bit.

Hannah Berner (59:43)

Can I do a quick shout out to Lois? Lois. My niece, Lois won student of the Month this month. They took a photo. They talked about this. Like, Lois is all this stuff. I FaceTime her. This was wearing sunglasses, wouldn't make eye contact with me anymore. Win student of the Month one month. Suddenly, she's too cool for Aunt Hannity.

Paige Desorbo (60:04)

She's different.

Katie (60:04)

She's different.

Hannah Berner (60:06)

But I. But I. It's also, like, when it happened, I was like, oh, that's so sweet. But then I called her, and I was like, lois, even if you never went through in the month again, I still love you. And that's like my own trauma I'm projecting onto her.

Paige Desorbo (60:19)

I was just gonna say, tell me for. Tell me that. When you heard that, you weren't like, I could have won student of the month more.

Hannah Berner (60:28)

When I. The first time I went. Well, first of all, the first time I went student, the month, I didn't. The first month, which I was livid.

Des (60:38)

Wait, I can picture this clear as day.

Paige Desorbo (60:40)

It's like September 3rd. September 3rd. And you're like, hold on.

Katie (60:44)

No, it was like that scene in a movie.

Hannah Berner (60:46)

They're like the first ever student of the month is.

Katie (60:48)

And I go to stand up, they're like, jacob. And I'm like, what?

Des (60:56)

You're like, jacob. Jacob sticks pencil erasers up his nose. He's the student of the month. Jacob can't perform a full sentence.

Katie (61:05)

And when he didn't do his homework on the 4th.

Hannah Berner (61:08)

So that's fucking insane. So then the second month, I won it. And I said, okay, thank you. And the teacher literally looked at me, knew I was mad, and she goes.

Paige Desorbo (61:16)

You won it the month of October? Yeah, Hannah, I won student of the month, the month of October in third grade. And it was too overwhelming. I had to take a leave of.

Des (61:28)

Absence from school and get my appendix out. I said, you know what? I said, you know, and hold the phone. I'd prefer a spring month. I'm gonna take a bit of rest.

Katie (61:40)

No, I feel like you got. You won it. And then you're like, this is the perfect time to get even more attention and have a life threatening illness.

Des (61:47)

Make my rain stand out from all the other rains.

Katie (61:53)

You're like, I'm gonna need this press cycle to last a little longer.

Des (61:57)

Like, I was like, ah, ah, A medical diagnosis.

Hannah Berner (61:59)

You come back.

Katie (62:00)

And everyone.

Paige Desorbo (62:00)

I came back. Someone had to like, open the door for me. I said, yes, please get my door.

Hannah Berner (62:07)

But I swear to God, the teacher, after I won, the teacher looked at me and I looked at her and I said, thanks. And she goes, I remember, she goes, I couldn't give you it the first month. It would have been too obvious. And I said, don't play games with me.

Paige Desorbo (62:21)

You like yet again, we're always making excuses for the men.

Katie (62:24)

Yet again, a man wins.

Hannah Berner (62:27)

But I do think that that high I got from winning, that wasn't good. It wasn't good for my me.

Paige Desorbo (62:35)

It definitely did start your level of competitiveness. Yeah.

Hannah Berner (62:39)

And then I had to have an ego death.

Des (62:41)

You like expecting to get it like.

Paige Desorbo (62:44)

The first month and being like devastated.

Des (62:46)

Though, is so you like where you're like, sorry, boy.

Katie (62:50)

When I went into class, I was lost. Walked in like, I was eyeing with the teacher. I was like, what are we doing, me and you doing today?

Paige Desorbo (62:56)

Okay.

Katie (62:56)

Like all these other kids, like, I'm here with you.

Hannah Berner (63:00)

Do you want to know why?

Des (63:04)

Wait, this is so funny about. Do you want to know why you were like that? Because she's up there performing. And you're like, hold on. No one's gonna be performing in front of a crowd and not having me involved. Susan, from the top. What's the math again? They didn't hear it. Like, you're emceeing her. Like, you're opening.

Katie (63:27)

I was dragging her up.

Paige Desorbo (63:31)

She'd make a joke, and you're like, that's a joke about fractions.

Des (63:34)

You idiots wouldn't get it. Wait.

Katie (63:40)

I might have told this story before, but I have to tell. It's one of our, like, family stories.

Hannah Berner (63:44)

That I'll never live down.

Katie (63:46)

I.

Hannah Berner (63:46)

In Shelter Island, a person came with, like, all these animals. Like, it was like an animal show.

Paige Desorbo (63:53)

Like a petting thing.

Hannah Berner (63:54)

Yeah, like a petting, but like, with reptiles. But I just remember, you know, as a kid, like, when you love something, you're like, no one here loves this more than me.

Paige Desorbo (64:03)

Yeah, yeah.

Des (64:07)

Not the direction I was going.

Hannah Berner (64:10)

Like, imagine, like, you're sitting there, and someone's like, we're having it. An outfit Runway. Yeah. And you're like, well, this is for me. Like, this is my time to shine. So, like, I love animals. So they're like, do you want to go to the animal show? And I go, do I want to go to that?

Katie (64:26)

Yeah. This has been in my calendar for three months. We're going to the animal show. So apparently, I got there, and they.

Hannah Berner (64:32)

Like, ask questions to the kids. It's, like, very interactive.

Katie (64:35)

But my annoying ass was raising my hand. Everyone else is shy, right? Me raising my hand, trying to answer every question.

Hannah Berner (64:42)

And my dad jokes that the guy was like, clearly, like, this isn't. We can't have you answer every question. Like, leave some room for other kids. And then at one point, I, like, was running out of stuff to say, but I still wanted to be called on. And he called on me, and I, like, forgot what I was gonna say. And you could tell I was nervous, and I just go, I like animals.

Paige Desorbo (65:03)

Honestly, Hannah, I know exactly the kind of kid you were. And I was the kid, like, in the corner looking at you, being like, are you.

Des (65:10)

You kidding?

Katie (65:13)

Are you.

Des (65:14)

If you keep talking, we can't even pet the animals because you've been yapping the whole time.

Katie (65:18)

To this day, my dad will be.

Des (65:20)

Like, I like animals.

Katie (65:22)

And then he said, the guy even. He jokes. The guy was like, can anyone anything to say? Maybe in Spanish?

Des (65:27)

And I was like, because the animal is.

Paige Desorbo (65:30)

You did not.

Des (65:31)

You did not, Anna.

Hannah Berner (65:33)

So anyway, we've learned and we've grown.

Paige Desorbo (65:36)

Anyway, follow your dream. Be yourself. At the end of the day, be yourself.

Hannah Berner (65:41)

And that's why we have a podcast, because we can yap all day.

Paige Desorbo (65:44)

No one's gonna yell at us.

Hannah Berner (65:46)

We love you guys so much.

Paige Desorbo (65:48)

Have a great rest of your week.

Hannah Berner (65:51)

Great Scorpio season. Don't forget to say happy birthday to Paige. She's 24.

Des (65:57)

Yes by.

Experian Ad Voice (66:06)

Okay, real talk Applying for a credit card can feel like dating. You put yourself out there, hope for the best, and then, boom, rejected. And your credit scores take a hit. No thank you. That's why we're obsessed with Experian's no Ding Decline feature. It's like having a bestie in your corner who's like, hey, try this card. And if it's not a match, no biggie. Your credit scores stay safe. You can browse cards in the Experian app App see your matches, and apply with confidence. Because if you're not approved, there's no hard inquiry, no ding to your credit scores, just vibes and smart choices. So if you're trying to level up your wallet, visit experian.com or download the Experian app and check out the cards labeled no Ding Decline. It's giving financial Glow up Experian, your big financial friend. Applying for no Ding Decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved. 2025 Experian Experian.

Trusted House Sitters Ad Voice (67:03)

We all love our pets, but we love to travel, too. And sadly, they can't always come along for the ride. Don't stress. Trusted House Sitters connects you with verified sitters who will stay in your home and care for your pets, all in exchange for a place to stay on their travels. So while you're off exploring, your pets get to stay safe and happy at home, right where they belong. Find a loving in Home Pet Sitter today@trustedhousesitters.com.