Giggling about masseters, marriage, and jail romance

Summary

Podcast Summary: Giggly Squad – "Giggling about Masseters, Marriage, and Jail Romance" (October 8, 2024)

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo

---

1. Critique of Life Coaches

Hannah and Paige delve into the world of life coaching, expressing skepticism about the authenticity and credibility of many practitioners.

• Paige criticizes the superficiality of "rich life coaches," mocking their extravagant lifestyles versus their actual impact. (02:17)

  "I hate when like these rich life coaches are like practice gratitude and it's like, yeah, you're like, in the hills in LA and you have eight people who work for you for your home just to upkeep your home."

• Hannah echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the importance of genuine support over trendy slogans. (03:21)

  "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

2. Ozempic and Cottage Cheese Shortage

The hosts discuss the surge in Ozempic usage and its unintended consequence: a shortage of cottage cheese.

• Paige narrates her frustration with Trader Joe’s running out of cottage cheese, attributing it to the increased demand from Ozempic users. (08:25)

  "My Trader Joe's is out of stock of cottage cheese. The apocalypse is coming, girls. Just warning you, keep an eye out."

• Hannah and Paige engage in a humorous back-and-forth about the societal obsession with weight loss and dietary trends fueled by medications like Ozempic. (09:53 - 10:14)

3. Wedding Experiences and Social Anxiety

The duo recounts their recent experience attending Craig's brother's wedding, highlighting challenges related to social anxiety and personal interactions.

• Hannah describes the wedding venue as stunning yet notes the impact of unexpected rain during the ceremony, comparing it to a scene from "The Notebook." (13:00 - 13:44)

  "It literally looked like where they filmed The Notebook, like in that swan, like, rowboat scene. Like, it was so pretty."

• Paige shares her struggles with staying sober at the event, discussing instances where guests offered her anxiety medication. (17:00 - 19:02)

  "People kept texting me going, 'Is Paige okay?' And I was like, what?"

4. Exploring Botox and Dermatological Treatments

Hannah and Paige open up about their personal journeys with cosmetic procedures, debating the merits and apprehensions surrounding Botox.

• Paige recounts her first experience getting Botox for TMJ issues, detailing the minimal discomfort and immediate relief she felt. (38:18 - 41:27)

  "I have some resting forehead lines. This didn't hurt a lot, but now we have to see, like, what happens."

• Hannah expresses her hesitance towards Botox, concerned about potential facial paralysis and the ethical considerations of choosing the right professional for the procedure. (43:20 - 45:59)

  "I'm scared that it'll, like, fuck up my face and then I'll have to, like, re-fix it to, like, get back to normal."

5. Fashion Collaborations and Limited 2

The conversation shifts to fashion, where Hannah reminisces about her early modeling days with Limited 2 and contemplates potential collaborations.

• Hannah shares anecdotes from her time with Limited 2, emphasizing her love for gaucho pants and the dynamics of working with a diverse crew. (56:06 - 58:50)

  "I'm obsessed with gauchos. I love gauchos. I'm the gaucho girl."

• Paige encourages Hannah to initiate collaborations with fashion brands, suggesting the creation of a personal line under the Giggly Squad brand. (61:18 - 62:35)

  "I think you should have your own line with them, like the Paige DeSorbo Limited Two line."

6. Binge-Watching and TV Show Opinions

Hannah and Paige discuss their binge-watching habits, sharing opinions on various TV shows and characters.

• Hannah reveals her intense binge-watching spree, diving into multiple seasons of lengthy shows like "Grey's Anatomy." (63:42 - 64:23)

  "I'm in season three. I couldn't be happier."

• Paige critiques popular characters, notably disliking Patrick Dempsey’s portrayal in "Grey's Anatomy," and recommends the documentary "Jailbreak: Love on the Run." (64:26 - 71:34)

  "I would have punched him right square in the face. He's not that hot. To act that much of a dick."

7. Final Thoughts and Upcoming Events

Concluding the episode, Hannah and Paige touch upon upcoming events and encourage listeners to participate in their community.

• Paige promotes upcoming live shows in cities like Madison, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis, urging listeners to secure tickets. (71:43 - 71:54)

  "Atlantic City we're actually almost sold out. We're excited about Madison and Milwaukee and Minneapolis, we're coming for."

• The hosts wrap up with a light-hearted farewell, maintaining their signature humor and camaraderie. (71:56 - 72:02)

  "Have a great week. Bye. We love you guys. Thanks for giggling."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Paige on Life Coaches (02:17):

  "I hate when like these rich life coaches are like practice gratitude and it's like, yeah, you're like, in the hills in LA and you have eight people who work for you for your home just to upkeep your home."

• Hannah on Standing for Something (03:21):

  "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

• Paige on Cottage Cheese Apocalypse (08:25):

  "The apocalypse is coming, girls. Just warning you, keep an eye out."

• Hannah on Botox Hesitation (43:20):

  "I'm scared that it'll, like, fuck up my face and then I'll have to, like, re-fix it to, like, get back to normal."

• Hannah on Limited 2 Gauchos (56:06):

  "I'm obsessed with gauchos. I love gauchos. I'm the gaucho girl."

• Paige on Limited 2 Collaboration (61:18):

  "I think you should have your own line with them, like the Paige DeSorbo Limited Two line."

• Paige on Patrick Dempsey (64:26):

  "I would have punched him right square in the face. He's not that hot. To act that much of a dick."

---

Key Takeaways

• Authenticity Matters: Both hosts emphasize the importance of genuine support systems over trendy or superficial lifestyles, particularly in the realm of life coaching.

• Impact of Medications: The discussion around Ozempic highlights how popular medications can have unexpected societal effects, such as product shortages.

• Personal Challenges: Hannah and Paige openly discuss their struggles with social anxiety and the pressures of maintaining appearances at social events.

• Cosmetic Choices: The conversation about Botox underscores the balance between desire for aesthetic enhancement and fear of potential side effects.

• Fashion Industry Insights: Their reflections on past modeling experiences with Limited 2 provide an insider's view of the fashion industry's dynamics.

• Entertainment Preferences: Insights into their binge-watching habits reveal personal tastes and critiques of popular media.

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Conclusion

In this episode of Giggly Squad, Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo candidly explore a variety of topics ranging from the authenticity of life coaches to personal experiences with cosmetic procedures and the complexities of social interactions at events like weddings. Their humorous yet insightful discussions offer listeners a blend of entertainment and relatable content, all while maintaining their signature lightheartedness.

Transcript

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[Paige DeSorbo]

Sometimes hosting can be a little bit stressful and you always have to have a plethora of drink options. And I'm not the best at mixing different cocktails. And that's where Sun Cruiser comes in. Sun Cruiser is a refreshing iced tea and vodka drink. It's a non carbonated so no bubbles.

[Hannah Berner]

Fill you up or have you burping.

[Paige DeSorbo]

And it's only 100 calories.

[Hannah Berner]

It's so easy when people come over to just offer them drinks that already taste good. Easy cleanup.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Here you go. No mixing, no adding chasers and Sun Cruiser inspires good times and it brings the sunny vibes to you. So no matter where you're hosting, if.

[Hannah Berner]

You'Re in an apartment this fall or you're in a house and it's getting chilly, it's still summer vibes with Sun Cruiser.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So crack one open today and let the good times cruise. Hey gorgeous gigglers. You know I love changing up my look, but it really takes a toll on my hair health. To keep it looking gorgeous, I use K18's viral molecular repair mas. It reverses damage in just four minutes so I get strong, soft, bouncy hair again with just one use. I love it. Stylists trust it and their patented science is legit. Pop by your nearest Sephora to discover my K18 favorite or try it 10% off with code giggly on your first [e-mail]. That's code giggly at K18hair.com.

[Hannah Berner]

Sup gigglers?

[Des]

Gary, fix your Wi Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be manic. I mean the day just got away from me. Hello my grateful gigglers. It's another beautiful week. Can I say something controversial?

[Hannah Berner]

I was just going to say you're speaking. I was going to say why you're speaking so calm because it's a Sunday morning. But we got right into Monday energy.

[Des]

I hate when like these like rich life coaches are like practice gratitude and it's like, yeah, you're like, in the hills in LA and like, you have eight people who work for you for your home just to upkeep your home.

[Hannah Berner]

Hate a life coach. Hate a life coach.

[Des]

We do have some giggler life coaches. Well, because we've come for life coaches before. Well, like, one of them messaged me. It was like, don't come for my art. But you know what? We have to stand for something.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I'm. I'm so proud of them for standing for literally anything. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. I don't know why. That slogan is, like, burnt in my brain from, like, middle school to me, it's. Then go be a therapist.

[Des]

It's like, yeah, they don't want to go to school to be a therapist. But then also, like, this is my thing.

[Hannah Berner]

Call your friend a recruiter. Call your work in hr.

[Des]

See, I consider myself a life coach, but I don't go around saying it. It's just my friend calls me. I'm gonna give her advice. From someone who didn't go to school.

[Hannah Berner]

You don't have. You don't have business cards. You're not. This isn't. It's not a. It's a bit. It's.

[Des]

But there's two types of life coaches. The ones who, like, say all these lies, like, I made $3 million last month, and they're like, living in their mom's basement. And they're like, this is what you have to do and buy this subscri. And then there's the life coaches who were, like, really successful but, like, did something illegal.

[Hannah Berner]

I feel like that's a personal assistant. Like, if you're calling yourself a life coach and you're just coming in and, like, getting me organized, you're an assistant. You work for me.

[Des]

But also, like, how are you going to hire life coach? That's the most general shit ever. Like, oh, I help people with life. Why?

[Hannah Berner]

If that was true, everyone, it's like, any drug that comes out or any, like, miracle cream. If that was true, everyone would have one.

[Des]

Speaking about Ozempic. Speaking about miracle drugs. Okay, I. You asked me, you said, how are you back in the city? And I said, I feel rejuvenated, I feel excited, I feel grateful. And I did my hip hop yoga yesterday. So, like, I'm sorry. Y7 Yoga. Shout out. You guys are my everything. It's yoga for girls with adhd. Self diagnosed.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, now that you're back in the city, should we start, like, working out together.

[Des]

Can I take you to i7?

[Hannah Berner]

I would love to.

[Des]

It's dark, so, like, you could literally.

[Hannah Berner]

Sleep all the time. No one knows I enjoy hot yoga. But now with my episodes, I'm wondering if I can handle hot yoga because I've passed out in hot yoga. Many a hot yoga. Yeah. I passed up for less.

[Des]

I'll pass out, which is a brisk breeze. I'll pass out because I forgot to have breakfast.

[Hannah Berner]

I'll pass out if it's just bored and we need some drama. I mean, don't tempt me with a good time.

[Des]

I'll pass out to get out of a conversation. I'll pass out to get out of a FaceTime call that I'm gonna have.

[Hannah Berner]

A good excuse for. My hands are tingly. Gotta go.

[Des]

Yoga. I'm feeling myself and I'm walking home. And like, mind you, I live right by a Trader Joe's, and the girls would be so disappointed in me. I never go. But I love bragging. Like, I'm right by Trader Joe's. Everyone's like, yeah. And I'm like, lil D. No. I never go. I go, you're different.

[Hannah Berner]

You're literally Kim Kardashian. I love my pool. I've never been in my pool. They love me.

[Des]

You never used Jacuzzi. So. So we go to. So I go into Trader Joe's and I'm, like, feeling myself. Suddenly I feel like I'm a new person. I'm like, she. Yeah, like vegan dumplings. Like, I. I was loving it. I was judging other people. I was like, oh, I'm a milk. Interesting. Not good for you. I was just, like, going up and down rows. But then I couldn't find the one thing I was excited for, which was cottage cheese. So I go, but you know what? I'm very bad at finding things. So I go. And I'm not afraid to ask for help. And that's one thing about me you should remember.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, I'm out of. Yeah. I'm not afraid to ask for help in some type of store.

[Des]

I'll. I am asking for directions. I'm asking for recommendations. I'm asking because one thing I know is I don't know.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Des]

So I go up to one guy and he's like, oh, it's in the cheese section. I was like, pretty sure I looked at the cheese section. But it's fine. I'll go again. I've messed up before.

[Hannah Berner]

I miss them before.

[Des]

Yeah, I've missed.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't have a life coach. Okay. Things Are things are popping off over here.

[Des]

So I go, there. There's no. The cheese sections. They don't have it. So when I asked them to buy the cheese section, I said, hey, cottage cheese. And they go, oh, it's by the cream cheese, like, dairy section up front. I go, valid. Totally valid. I was there before, but I didn't see it. But you know what? I don't have a life coach. I'm gonna go.

[Hannah Berner]

I trust you, not me.

[Des]

Perfect. Never trusted myself for a second.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Des]

Go to the front. And now I think I'm getting gaslit.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Des]

Because there's nothing. And I'm staring at it like a dumb. Dumb. Like, I'm like, going through every. I'm like, it's easy to miss. They're all white. Maybe I'm missing it. Finally, I asked one more guy. This is three people in a small Trader Joe's. And the guy goes, oh, we're out of stock of cottage cheese.

[Hannah Berner]

Of all brands. Does Trader Joe's only sell to Trader Joe's?

[Des]

They have their, like, own Trader Joe's brand. But, like, cottage cheese is, like, the glue that holds Trader Joe's together.

[Hannah Berner]

Trader Joe's or Hanna Burner?

[Des]

Both.

[Hannah Berner]

So when did this cottage cheese kick start? Because it' going.

[Des]

So I freak out. I didn't go, Karen. I kept it to myself. But I start posting online. I said, my Trader Joe's.

[Hannah Berner]

You took to the Internet.

[Des]

I went to the Internet. I didn't cry, but I was close. I said, my Trader Joe's is out of stock of cottage cheese. The apocalypse is coming, girls. Just warning you, keep an eye out. Someone responds, my Trader Joe's is out of. Cause she's too. So then I'm getting upset. Then I get a DM this morning. Someone says, hey, everyone's on Ozempic and they need protein, so they're all eating cottage cheese. So this girl. My DMS is blaming the Ozempic girls.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, no.

[Des]

Because remember, that girl was obsessed with, like, taking a carrot and just having cottage cheese for dinner.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Des]

Which is, you know, not enough calories for dinner. So there's a problem in these streets. And, like, I don't want to freak people out because I think there are more important things going on in the world. But this. This is a problem.

[Hannah Berner]

This is. They're now directly coming for you. The Ozempic girlies are coming for your brand.

[Des]

And I'm fine. You guys floating around in the wind.

[Hannah Berner]

No, literally floating.

[Des]

Don't come.

[Hannah Berner]

For my first squint. And they're Gone.

[Des]

Cause let's be honest, you're not even enjoying it like I do. Yeah, you don't even like it like, that.

[Hannah Berner]

They have no taste buds.

[Des]

You have no taste buns. You have no. You don't have no pleasure from eating food, and you're taking it away from me. So there's a war happening.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, wow. So that's. That's how New York City welcomed you home. They said, watch this, bitch. You want to get re angry?

[Des]

And then I called Des, and I'm like, he's not gonna understand. I'm gonna keep it for giggling squad. He's like, how's your day? I was like, good. Great day. Good morning. How are you? Because you've been missing socializing.

[Hannah Berner]

I've been social liesing.

[Des]

But you're not just socializing. You're socializing in, like, couture. Like, you're socializing in tight dresses, which makes it that much worse.

[Hannah Berner]

I just want to say how real the gigglers are and how, like, now when people are like, what are you, like, laughing about on your phone? I'm like, oh, like, my friend. Like, my friend said something funny, but, like, it's a giggler. So, like, I don't actually know them. So people will be like, oh, what they say? And I'm like, this is too layered right now.

[Des]

I was about to say, the layers are so layered, it's like an onion. I can't. Where do we even begin with this inside?

[Hannah Berner]

Where do I start? I'm like, I don't know. This random girl that I don't know just DM'd me something really funny. And now I'm gonna respond, but, like, it's. You wouldn't get it. So it sounds like I'm lying right now to get out of this conversation. And partly I am, but also, you won't get it. So I literally make posting pictures of my dress. I'm not kidding. In 0.2 seconds, I had every giggler that's ever listened to giggly squad say, that's so funny, Paige, because you don't dance at weddings. And now you love this detachable skirt for dancing. So everyone just called me out and.

[Des]

Like, they keep you so fucking honest. And I love that. I love that they call out the hypocrisy, and it keeps us grounded.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, no, I. And then Craig was like, what are you talking about? You love to dance at weddings. And I was like.

[Des]

That'S such a dude thing to say.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, I fear that you don't know me.

[Des]

No, I. Because Guys in their head are just like, that's my girlfriend. She dances at weddings with me. And that's. Girls dance at weddings.

[Hannah Berner]

You love shout. You love when shout comes on.

[Des]

Second shout comes on. I'm in the bathroom shitting myself.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I hate shout out.

[Des]

My favorite part of the wedding is when I can, like, go to the bathroom and start to do the, like, side comments. Like when people are coming in like, oh, feet are hurting. Right. I try to get. I try to bring the mood down a little. Like, everyone calm down.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm like, oh, a lot of happy tears. Let's reel it in. Oh, my God. No, but we went to. We went to Craig's brother's wedding this weekend, which was like, at the most gorgeous venue in the world. But it started water.

[Des]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

It literally looked like where they filmed the Notebook, like in that swan, like, rowboat scene. Like, it was so pretty. But it rained like a little bit during the ceremony, which actually, like, looked so cool as she walked down the aisle. Because there was like category 4 videos.

[Des]

But like a Beyonce video.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. It made her.

[Des]

By the way, should we thank Beyonce just for. In general. Just in general. Just in case.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm not ready to. Because I'm. I'm still on the side of TikTok where she's a murderer and.

[Des]

No, but they're saying you have to thank Beyonce or she kills you. Yeah. Oh, thank you, Beyonce.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I'm not a. I'm not. No, no. I don't succumb to peer pressure and I certainly don't grateful for anything. No. And I'm. Sir, if you want to kill me, come try. I'd like to see you try.

[Des]

I interrupted you. So there's a category for hurricane, but pages. I mean, Paige's. Craig's brother's future wife is looking stunning, battling the wings.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, as she's walking down. It looks like we hired like wind people because her veil just looked insane. I'm soaking wet. So my dress got all wrinkly. So then the gigglers are also like, sick dress. But also, do you own an iron? And so I literally tried to DM everyone back. And I was like, it started fucking raining. So anyway, I did dance for two.

[Des]

Songs because Craig literally does he like dancing at weddings.

[Hannah Berner]

Loves it. Loves it, loves it, loves it. To add to one point, his 90 year old grandfather came and sat next to me because he felt bad for me because I was sitting by myself.

[Des]

Wait, I'm obsessed. I do love old people at weddings.

[Hannah Berner]

No. And he was like, I can't Believe Craig is on the dance floor and you're sitting here, and I was like, honestly, it's better.

[Des]

I like to let him. You know, I'm like, one thing Grandpa is.

[Hannah Berner]

I love to be alone.

[Des]

This is what Grandpa doesn't understand. You're there for the photo. And, you guys, I think you got.

[Hannah Berner]

My shot hours ago. I got the shot hours ago. I'm literally a lamb.

[Des]

There's no better release. Once you've known you've gotten the photo and you're like, someone could fucking, like, tear my arm off. And I'm like, it's a great night.

[Hannah Berner]

No, there is no relief. It's like getting into college. You're like, oh, phew. Like, don't have to think about that for the rest of the day.

[Des]

But when you haven't gotten the shot, everyone who talks to you, you're, like, distracted.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, my hair is falling by the second. This conversation is obsolete because I haven't gotten the shot, and now my bangs are stuck to my forehead.

[Des]

I also don't know about you. The person I am at the beginning and end of the wedding are two different people. Especially because I just started using primer and setting spray, like, yesterday. And I'd be like, why is all my makeup gone?

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, my God. It's also interesting to go, well, like, Craig's brother is, I think, actually my age, maybe a year younger than me, but his wife is younger, so, like, everyone's, like, a little bit younger than me. And I, you know, have been going through my episodes, so I haven't. I didn't drink at all because I'm just, like, not trying to drink right now and, like, extra fuck myself up.

[Des]

What do you tell people when you have to. They think you're pregnant.

[Hannah Berner]

No one asks me.

[Des]

No one tried to take one shot with you. Not one person.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, Hannah, that's so funny you bring that up, because every, like, event we go to, sometimes Craig will be like, oh, I hope. Like, no one gets, like, upset. They're like, I'm not drinking. And I'm always like, who the fuck would get upset if someone's not drinking?

[Des]

I'm so the Craig. Because everyone comes up to me trying to get me fucked up all the time, where I feel like, people respect you. No, people respect you.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't know, because now I'm thinking about it, like, does no one think I'm fun and, like, want me to be involved?

[Des]

Because I'm like, never met Pam.

[Hannah Berner]

How does it never come up in conversation that people are like, oh, you're not drinking to me. Like, no. Like, literally, no one bothers me. I feel like, about it. Maybe they've heard about my episodes, and they're like, better not.

[Des]

The old man was like, do you want an Advil? You're like, do you want a beta blocker? Let's get fucked up. You're snorting beta blockers with his grandpa in the back.

[Hannah Berner]

No, literally, I was nervous that I didn't have any beta blockers because I was like, oh, my God. Imagine I make this wedding about me, and I just have a full panic attack in the middle of the ceremony. And a lot of people were offering me Xanax, and I was like, wow, my life has changed so much. I feel. So.

[Des]

Wait, that's how they were greeting you? They were like, here's my gift.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, I have generic Xanax. I have Mexican Xanax in case Paige needs it. I'm like, I'm okay. Jesus. And then I like, forget. People listen to the podcast.

[Des]

I know. People kept texting me going, is Paige okay? And I was like, what?

[Hannah Berner]

She's fine. She gets watered twice a day.

[Des]

I'm like, did something happen today that I didn't know about? And then I'm like, oh, they mean from two. That was two weeks ago. Get over it. No.

[Hannah Berner]

Sometimes people will say something to me and I'll be like, who told you? And then I'm like, oh, I did.

[Des]

Or people would be like, I'll look again. They'll be like, oh, my God, sorry. I listen to the pod. I'm like, no, we literally force feed this pod down all your throats. And then, no, act weird. When people know things about us.

[Hannah Berner]

Sometimes people will say things about you. And, like, for a split second, I'll be like, are you friends with Hannah? Like, she didn't tell me that she had a friend, that you were her friend. I get like. I get, like, mad. I'm like, how did Hannah told you that? Like, I thought she only told me that.

[Des]

My favorite is people will tag us, and they're, like, trying on outfits for the show. And I'll respond sometimes, and I'll be like, you look so good. And they'll respond to be like, but do you think Paige would like it? Like, they literally don't give up. They actually probably didn't like that I like outfit. They were like, okay, well, now I have to change.

[Hannah Berner]

We're like the mom and dad. It's like, cool, dad. Thanks, but I really need mom.

[Des]

Oh, God. So overall, it was a success.

[Hannah Berner]

Overall, it Was really fun. And I loved my dress.

[Des]

Did you see the video going around of you and Craig eating ice cream?

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, I did. And, like, I was like, how did people get that video? Because no one. I wasn't even, like, tagged in.

[Des]

It was paparazzi there.

[Hannah Berner]

We were just, like, taking pictures with the photographer. I don't know, maybe the photographer had posted it.

[Des]

It was, you guys, like, posing a little too long for the photo.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, okay. If you notice, I start hysterically laughing because in the middle of that photo, I start making fun of Craig for posing for a photo. I was like, what a loser that you're posing for this ice cream photo right now. He was like, so are you.

[Des]

I'm allowed to. But, like, a guy posing for licking ice cream.

[Hannah Berner]

I might question it.

[Des]

Oh, God. Anyway, time to start the pod. Oh, yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

People don't talk enough about coming home from a wedding and trying to, like, decipher who everyone is. And, like, you have to explain them, like, by appearance about, like, something they said. And, like, there's just no better. Like, it's just so hilarious being like, oh, like, that was, like, his plus one. And me being like, I thought he was gay. Like, there's no way that was everyone being like, paige, stop.

[Des]

No. My last wedding that I remember being like, that was my bestie, Haley. Not Haley Bieber. My other bestie, Haley Nicola.

[Hannah Berner]

Because I feel like she had, like, a thousand people at her wedding.

[Des]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Bazillion people.

[Des]

It's the kind of thing where I've, like, known a lot of these people for a while, but I don't spend that much time with them. And for some reason, like, I really. You know when someone's name just doesn't look like their name?

[Hannah Berner]

Yes.

[Des]

Like, I'm like, you're not a Jennifer.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, it's just like, it's not.

[Des]

And then you have, like, a couple drinks, and next, you know, like, you're calling her Rachel.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Des]

And I, like, went, like, way too long calling one girl Rachel. And then finally someone was like, that's Jennifer.

[Hannah Berner]

You have to, like, think of nicknames, like, to. Just because, like, you have to tell this story later. But you're like, I'm never gonna. I don't know this person's name. So I have to, like, think of, like, a deciphering characteristic.

[Des]

Also, during that wedding, it was, like, trending to do the, like, my name is Stephanie, and this is my first drink of the night. And then so I took it upon myself.

[Hannah Berner]

It's so funny. I've always wanted to Be asked to be in one of those videos. Never pronounced to be in one. So it's all coming together. It's all coming together. No one cares if I'm drinking a soda water.

[Des]

There was a point where people would ask me about drinking, and I'd be like, oh, sorry, don't drink. And they're like, we've seen you blackout on tv. I go, unless I'm getting paid for it. Knock any. Blackout. Unless you're paying me. I'm not fighting with someone. Blackout. You have to pay for that shit. It's not for free. Okay, babe?

[Hannah Berner]

It's not for free. We're performing. Performing.

[Des]

We're performing.

[Hannah Berner]

Performance.

[Des]

I basically am determined. I'm like, this wedding. I'm gonna get this content and put together this really cute video for them the next day. Because I'm a director. I'm a creative director. So I'm all excited, getting everyone like, hey, do you mind being in this video? First drink of the day. They don't factor in. I got drunk. So, yeah, there were like, five people that I filmed where it was filming, and then I went. When I went to film them, I was stopping the filming.

[Hannah Berner]

So it was just any of the videos.

[Des]

It was a ton of. It was all good in the beginning. The end, it was just my feet. Like, my feet and going, okay, ready? And it ended up working out. But, like, I missed so much footage. Like, they don't factor in that you're the videographer at the end of the night.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. And that's a hard job.

[Des]

And that's a hard, hard job.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Putting yourself on a budget is really just becoming an adult and being aware of what you're spending so that every time you go into your bank account.

[Hannah Berner]

You'Re not completely shocked.

[Paige DeSorbo]

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[Hannah Berner]

I feel like we're hearing so much about our food and what we're eating and if it's even healthy for us. That's why Thrive Market is something I honestly never think about, but in a good way. Their food is certified organic always, and Thrive Market studies every label to search for the best wholesome ingredients that have been vetted for safety. This is why you don't have to spend hours reading the back of ingredient labels or even thinking about where you're getting your food from. They restrict thousands of ingredients that are found at conventional grocery stores, and every single product is vetted by their team of experts. Thrive Market is definitely on a mission to make healthy and sustainable living easy and affordable for everyone. They seek out brands and products that follow ethical practices, including fair pay and treatment for workers. They have strict quality standards and safe working conditions. Your membership even sponsors one family in need. So if you want to shop at a grocery store that actually cares for your health, go to thrivemarket.com giggly for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T H R I V E market.com giggly thrive market.com giggly okay, when.

[Paige DeSorbo]

I'm thinking about what I'm getting people for the holidays, I always think of, well, what comes in a set. And you can find the most perfect holiday [e-mail] When I saw that Skims launch their holiday shop, I feel like I finally got into the Christmas spirit and I was ready to decorate my apartment. Everyone I know is getting skims for the holidays. I just got like their winter matching bra and underwear set. And they're so cute. It like actually makes me want to go skiing, even though I'm definitely afraid of going skiing again. But there's nothing like a matching set to get me into the holiday spirit. The winter set that I got from Skims is the Fits Everybody Scoop Bralette. They're adorable. And obviously I got the matching underwear. They come in the cutest little boxes and they're just the perfect little stocking stuffer. You can get the cheeky briefs or whatever style you prefer. So shop [e-mail] available in styles for women, men, kids, and even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you after you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the drop down menu that follows. Okay, so I have a real life story that just happened to me in Chicago. So Hannah and I were there for Giggly Squad and Hannah's mom and came and obviously Lois and Lenore Berner looked so cute in her outfit. And I was like where is your outfit from? And she was like oh my God. The whole thing is Quint. She had the most adorable maxi cashmere sweater dress on. It was this like ivory color. It was gorgeous. And I obviously knew Quince was known for their Magnolian cashmere sweaters, but she also had on this gorgeous matching cardigan. Quince has everything. They have denim, they have leather jackets. Quince's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands and they only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. And of course premium fabrics and finishes for luxury feel in every piece. So get cozy and Quince's high quality wardrobe essentials go to quince.com giggly for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E dot com giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com giggly listen up because I have the perfect gift for people when you don't know what to get them. I have gifted Aura frames so many times. I gifted them to Craig's parents last year. It was the perfect gift and I was literally racking my brain because I just could not come up with any ideas for a good gift. Aura frames are seamless and easy to use. You add photos with an app with unlimited storage. It's so easy for your older relatives and easy to set up for them. You can take your favorite holiday photo that you would share with your loved ones and the story behind it and just upload it to Aura and then it will always play when their aura is on. It helps you interact with your family and friends. And if you have any family members that are bad at technology, Aura is the perfect thing for them. And it's so easy to set up. It's so easy to add pictures and it really is such a fun conversation starter. For a limited time, visit auraframes.com and get 45 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames by using Promo Code Giggly at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code giggly this exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is the best of the year so don't miss out terms and conditions apply.

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[Hannah Berner]

I feel a manifestation coming up coming to my brain recently. Not about me, nothing like about us. Which is sad, but like, it's just like something that, like, I feel I'm not interested.

[Des]

It's about me. I'm not interested. I don't hear about your dreams that you what?

[Hannah Berner]

The question I'm posing is, where the heck is Fergie? And I feel that she's going to resurge in some type of collab with Sabrina Carpenter. Like a glamorous remake.

[Des]

Well, how? Sabrina just did her Christina Aguilera thing.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. But I feel like it's Fergie's time to come back.

[Des]

You know what's funny? I just heard that Nicole Schleser Scheininger.

[Hannah Berner]

And that's exactly how I say her last name in my brain too.

[Des]

You know exactly.

[Hannah Berner]

I know exactly who you're talking about.

[Des]

And that's actually how she says her name. Nicole Schrecker. For the Pushing on Dolls, she was offered the lead of Black Eyed Peas.

[Hannah Berner]

You're kidding me.

[Des]

That's what I saw on Tick Tock and Fergie. And then Fergie got it. And then Pussycat Dolls. There was a whole thing about how it's like it was some weird.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. Like, so it wasn't a cult, but it wasn't not a cult.

[Des]

They were saying there was some kind of like high end escorting viper room trafficking.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, oh.

[Des]

There's a lot of trafficking that has been happening that no one's been talking about. But also, this is a legitimate. Sorry for ruining the mood. You're like, fergie's gonna make a comeback. And I'm like. And people are being trafficked.

[Hannah Berner]

Did you even think about that for a second?

[Des]

I love Fergie and I do have to say one thing to support Fergie. I feel like she had this like, little bit of a blip when she had her Star Spangled Banner moment.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, My God, I forgot about that.

[Des]

And people are weird with the Star Spangled Banner. Like, they'll be. They get. Like, if she just had, like, a bad night, people like, whatever. But when you think they're like, you hate America. Like, if you try to do a little too much, like, you hate America. And maybe she didn't sound great. But my hot take. Why the fuck is our national song the hardest fucking song to sing? Why do we set ourselves up for failure and put the most insane note in the Star Spangled Banner where everyone gets nervous? Like, everyone's like, like, why can't we just make it a normal song that anyone could sing? Why do you have to rip your vocal cord open to hit a note?

[Hannah Berner]

People will literally go on Twitter and be like, I'll burn this country down. I'll move to any other country. Like, those people will say the wildest shit. But when it comes to the Star Single Banner, people will cut your head off. Like, they don't give a f. They get so passionate about it. Like, I feel like I remember listening to Fergie and being like, but that's Fergie. She's a little bit freaky. She's a little bit weird. Like, she's gonna add a little twist to it. Like, I. I wasn't mad about it. People were mad at her.

[Des]

Well, because who gives a fuck that she, like, didn't sing it that great and tried to put a spin on it because she was bored?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. Like, she's spicing up sports. Who cares? And, like, it's the Star Spangled Banner. Like, it's.

[Des]

How dare you take away from all the shit she's done in her career because she was bored and fucked around and found out during the Star Spangled.

[Hannah Berner]

Banner she made the London Bridge fall. So, like, give. Put some respect on Fergie's name.

[Des]

She won World War I for us. I don't know. I don't know anything about wars. Oh, speaking of wars, we got in a fight this weekend.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, we did.

[Des]

And the funniest part of this fight is I knew she was gonna get mad. And then I said, I'm not doing this right now. I'm not doing right now. Save it. We stopped for camera. I said, save it for camera. Save it for the podcast.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, why did you tell the gigglers?

[Des]

Because I want. I want the Gigglers to be in on it and they could pick sides.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, no, this is a side picking situation.

[Des]

And I don't have to say I'm kind of on your side. I am I am on your side.

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, that's so us. Because I feel like any serious conversation we've ever had, and it's, like, about me. I'm always on your side.

[Des]

See? I'm always on your side.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm like, no, I know. I do have to change. I'm on your side.

[Des]

No. Actually started texting. I was like, wait, she has such a valid point. Let's do this. Also, you never get mad at me, so the second I can get a little reaction out of you kind of just makes me excited. It's like, you care.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I was literally. I think I was peeing when I got that text message. And I was. I was Sheena Shay on my phone. I couldn't have been more Sheena in that moment.

[Des]

No, I know I'm on your side because I told Grace what was going on beforehand, and she was like, like, paige is not going to be happy. And I was like, oh, if she's taking Paige's side. And she. Grace always takes my side. If she's taking Paige's side.

[Hannah Berner]

No, Grace always takes your side.

[Des]

No, Grace is empathetic to you, but deep down, she's always on my side.

[Hannah Berner]

Sometimes I think Grace looks at me like a wounded puppy.

[Des]

She sees where you're coming from.

[Hannah Berner]

I have to help you.

[Des]

No, Grace is just Hannah coated. Yeah, but she loves you.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, stop stalling. Tell the gigglers where we're at.

[Des]

Okay, So I decided I want to get Botox in my armpits, which. That's medical.

[Hannah Berner]

Fine. That's medical. Yeah, that's medical. That's, like, administered by a pediatrician. That's like a doctor.

[Des]

That's. That's a doctor problem. That's a personal problem. So I walk into a dermatologist, which, by the way, I've only been to once for laser hair removal. I've never, like, been to a dermatologist. And I'm 33, and my mom was like, can you just, like, go to a dermatologist? So I go there, and there was, like, no one in the lobby, but I wanted to let everyone know in case there was someone hiding under the table. I'm here for my armpits. I was like, armpits? But she's like, you need Botox. I'm like, armpits.

[Hannah Berner]

Hannah for sweating.

[Des]

Hannah for armpits. And they were like, okay. So we walk in, and I tell the lady. I'm like, look, by the way, I'm 33. I've never been to a dermatologist. Can you kind of look at me and be. Be real with me. Because, like, honest, I'm on red carpets now. Sometimes not to brag. I know you by looking at me. You could probably tell I'm on red carpets. She's like, no, not at all. But, like, I just would like some advice on what I should do.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Des]

First thing she goes, do you don't need Botox on your armpits.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, well.

[Des]

She was like, do you change your shirt because you're so sweaty? And I'm like, yes. And she's like, okay. Well, she's like, that's like the extreme. She's like, let's start with these, like, medicated wipes that you get over the counter. So, like, if you have a day that you shouldn't sweat, you do this wipe. So she's like, let's start with that.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, I like a dog. I appreciate that in a doctor.

[Des]

And I do have to say I googled this dermatologist. And I, like, was looking at reviews and someone was like, she is really, like, harsh and straight up. And I. And like, kind of mean. And I was like, perfect.

[Hannah Berner]

No, perfect.

[Des]

I picked the scariest looking Eastern European woman. I said, I don't want someone to be my friend. I don't want someone. I want someone to fucking tell me like it is.

[Hannah Berner]

That's how I like my psychics.

[Des]

Yes. I want them to be like, you're gonna.

[Hannah Berner]

My doctors and my psychics to be the most real as fuck. Yeah.

[Des]

Be real and mean.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Des]

So then I told her, I go, you know what? Now that we're here, I've been grinding my teeth since I was little, and I wake up and I have headaches and I have a very strong jaw. Not to brag. Do you think I'm a good candidate for masseter? And she looks and she's like, you act. You are. She's like, we could start with a small dose. She's like, when do you want to do it? And I was like, I mean, let's go. Let's do it. And then I feel you did it. I feel a guilt come over me.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, you better. You better be silly in guilt.

[Des]

I felt the ghost of Paige the Sorbok looking over at me like, I thought, we're gonna do this together.

[Hannah Berner]

I thought my stomach did randomly turn the other day, and that must have been my witch senses being like, something's not right.

[Des]

Or. Because you had chicken parmesan.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Des]

And I was like, fuck it, let's go. So I've never had botox before. It's the like, thinnest little needle. Like, it's like you don't even feel it.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. Do they. Did they numb you at all or like, do put anything on you?

[Des]

No, she just. She did these. Well, first she took this, like, white pencil, but I didn't know. I thought it was the needle. And I was like, wow, that was really. That didn't even hurt. And she's like, that was the pencil. I was like, I have really high pains. I lie to myself. I'll tell. I'm like, I have. If you say out loud I have high pain tolerance, it, like, helps you. I feel like. So she the white. And I'm like, yeah, I've had pain tolerance. And then she put five in each side of the jawline. And when I tell you I had an immediate release.

[Hannah Berner]

No way.

[Des]

And she says, it happens. Like, a lot of people get immediate release. And the next day I, like, woke up in the morning and I went to yoga and I was like, it's because of the masseter. But she said, because you use your jaw a lot. Like, you chew a lot and you obviously don't shut the fuck up, it'll wear off pretty fast.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, wait, I never thought about, like, you talking. It. Does that work your jaw out more than other, like a quieter person.

[Des]

And she's like, and you're married, so you're not giving a lot of blowjobs. So your jaw, Your jaw is locked up. You're jammed up. But I really. I was also on stage this last week talking about, like, TMJ and why millennials might have tmj, and girls were all just like, get it. So I'll keep you guys posted on my experience. So far it's been positive. She said it takes like two weeks and it's probably a little placebo effect, but I. I feel amazing.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, let's read the text message that I got from Hannah. She said, also, I'm at the derm right now to ask about my armpits. Slash, she wants. She wants to give me. Oh, no. Okay. She wants to give me wipes first. And I'm gonna do masseter, Botox and possibly IPL laser for redness. And I said in all caps, what the fuck, Hannah? You're getting Botox without me? She goes, haha, wait, no, masseter doesn't count. It's for tmj. Lol. And I go, wow, you're already hitting me with in quotes. It's medical. You've changed. And then we didn't speak.

[Des]

So funny. I. Okay, not to defend myself. But when you say Botox, I think wrinkles, same. So, like, I would never get.

[Hannah Berner]

You would never do something for appearance, like, for a vain reason without me.

[Des]

Without you. Yeah, yeah. And also, like, I want. I feel like if I went and I got the TMJ and you got, like, your forehead, that's not the same.

[Hannah Berner]

And I also know that's not the same.

[Des]

But I do have to say, as someone who now has gotten a form of Botox, it's very thin, it didn't hurt a lot, but now we have to see, like, what happens. And I. But then I looked at her, I said, be honest, what else would you do to my face? She didn't even bring up Botox. And like, yeah, I have some resting forehead lines. But I do have to say, I don't fucking trust people who, like, you can't tell their expressions. Like, I think it could look good enough, but also photos. It looks like. I don't know. I just don't think. I think your face needs to move or it gets weird. It's, like, distracting.

[Hannah Berner]

I feel like this is one of the main reasons I haven't gone in to get Botox is one, I'm scared that it'll will, like, fuck up my face and then I'll have to, like, re. Like, fix it to, like, get back to Norman. I'm gonna be like, I should have never even done this in the first place. But the second reason is because I feel like. And I want, like, the gigglers who know about this to tell us what's right. But I feel like it's going to be conflicting. When you're getting Botox, should you be going to a dermatologist office, letting a dermatologist do it, or like, a nurse there? Or should you be going to a straight up plastic surgeon? And like, the. Because everyone says if you go to a plastic surgeon, you should go to the nurses at the plastic surgeon because they're doing it more often than the actual plastic surgeon. But, like, I'm like, is this a situation for a doctor?

[Des]

Well, it's annoying because everyone's like, if you get it, make sure you have a good person do it. But then you're, like, doing research and there's all these lies on the Internet.

[Hannah Berner]

People showing like, I'll look at girls, and they'll be like, you gotta go to my girl. She's so good. And I'm like, you look like a clown fish. So.

[Des]

Or they'll be like, this girl's so good. And then you click on the girl, and she looks like a clown fish.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. And I'm like, you guys, you're not touching my face. Yeah, you're too deep in it. Like, you think your girl is so good, but you're too deep in it.

[Des]

You guys are in some cult together, and you're seeing things through a weird fucking lens. I do think as you get older, like, some baby stuff is fine. But I remember I talked to a girl, and she was like, oh, yeah, let me see you smile. And she's like, yeah, you've lines on the side of your eyes when you smile. I go, it's called smiling. That's insane to have serial killer eyes. With a smile, I'd look like the joker.

[Hannah Berner]

I had someone say to me, she was complimenting me, but I was. Craig says I always have, like, a little bit of a negative brain, so I take everything, like, a little bit negative. I was like, I haven't gotten botox yet. And she was like, well, you don't really need it, because, like, Italian people, they. I feel like they don't need it till later because of, like, your type of skin. And I was like, oh, thank you. And then I was like, what the fuck does that mean?

[Des]

You know what? I said the same thing to Des because I was like. She said I looked great. And I go, you know what? Because I have olive oil skin, I have very oily skin, which is bad in some ways, good in other ways. But, you know, she did.

[Hannah Berner]

She said to me, you're Italian, right? So, like, it wasn't that she really knew. I felt like she was looking at my skin and was like, oh, you're oily. Like, you'll be fine.

[Des]

Oh, you have some, like, olive tone.

[Hannah Berner]

I mean, she was right. But I wanted to take it as.

[Des]

You trying to say about my people.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. It was like, do you have something to say about my ancestors?

[Des]

She's like, what's your problem with Sicilians?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, Because I know a guy.

[Des]

I know a guy. But I did tell her. I was like, what do you think I should. What could I can I do? And she recommended an IPL facial. No, an IPL laser. So. Laser. That's reminds me of Star Wars.

[Hannah Berner]

I feel like I've gotten that.

[Des]

She said it just helps, like, balance out the tone. But my thing is, like, I'm not a skin glass looking girly. Like, that's not my vibe. Like, I have freckles. I have.

[Hannah Berner]

It doesn't do anything to your freckles. It literally just makes your skin tone, like, even and you're like, skin glow more.

[Des]

Yeah. So I think I might get that. And I was talking to Whitney Cummings. She does, like, crazy facials. I mean, not facial.

[Hannah Berner]

She's great.

[Des]

There's amazing skin. But again, like, me and Whitney have different complexions. Yeah. But I am considering finally trying mouth tape. Do you still do it?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, I do. Not every single night. But, like, on nights that I do it, I enjoy it.

[Des]

What do you mean by enjoy it?

[Hannah Berner]

And I don't know if this is placebo effect, because I feel like I do suffer from anything that is placebo effect. Like, I'll be like, yeah, that works. But I do truly think I wake up more rested.

[Des]

Okay. They said. I was looking at it. They said it's better to do the tape that just goes, like, down the middle than, like, cover your whole mouth.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay.

[Des]

But then also, as a girl who has. I can get chapped lips. I like to go to sleep with my lips all lathered up. So, like, how do you put tape on that?

[Hannah Berner]

It's funny that you bring up this subject because I'm suffering right now from really chapped lips. But I did it to myself. You know my Amazon laser that I bought that I'm, like, obsessed with.

[Des]

Oh, no, I was in your mouth. I was, oh, you're lasering your mustache.

[Hannah Berner]

I was lasering my face, and I accidentally, like, hit my lip. And it immediately looked like I had a massive cold sore on my lip. And I was like, I don't get cold sores. And Craig was like, well, it looks like you get. You get cold sores. And I was like, I do not get cold sores. I burnt my lip. But now I don't know what's going on because I think I literally burnt the shit out of your tongue.

[Des]

The one thing Paige's mom said was, please don't use the Amazon laser on your face.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. I said, mom, I'm not gonna. And then I did.

[Des]

Next thing you know, you're gonna blind yourself.

[Hannah Berner]

I know. I know. My mom is listening right now and is so mad at me. She's like, I told you. But remember, I have to live and I have to learn.

[Des]

You know what? And you know what? You don't learn until you make a mistake. And mistakes are about growth, and we fail upwards. And that is a theme of Giggly Squad.

[Hannah Berner]

And now I know not to use it so close to my lip. The holiday season can be stressful, but not with Nordstrom. They have a gift for everyone on your list, including yourself. Discover the best gifts and party dresses for festival festivities this holiday season. Get festive fashion advice from Nordstrom experts for free in stores online and the Nordstrom app. They have gifts for everyone Stocking Stuffers gifts under a hundred dollars Gift cards give whoever is on your list the perfect gift. The gift of choice Gift cards let them explore Nordstrom on their own time. Explore more at Nordstrom in stores or [e-mail] or download the Nordstrom app Wrap.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It'S about to be that month where a lot of shopping is going to ensue. I feel like at Thanksgiving that's kind of when I start making my holiday list. I like see people and I'm like, oh, what can I buy you this holiday season? Since we know we're about to be swiping our card a lot. Rakuten is the best way to save lots of money this holiday season because you can stack holiday sales and deals on top of cash back to maximize your savings at over 3500 stores. Meaning you can go to Macy's, you can go to Walmart, you can go to Urban Outfitters. All of these places will give you the highest cash back rates of the year, all the way up to 15. Cash back at some of your favorite other brands like Sephora, Kiehl's Tarte Cosmetics. Rakuten also finds you the best deals, sales and coupons. They do the work of searching for coupon codes so you save time and money. Plus, membership is free and it's easy to sign up. Join the 17 million members who are already saving. Start all your holiday [e-mail] or download the Rakuten app to start saving today. Your cash back really adds up. I'm always trying to get healthier and whether it's your New Year's resolution or randomly during the year, you're like, this is the day I start to get healthier. Why don't you give Symbiotica a try next time? They're the only thing that I can always count on to consistently keep my health in check. They have these easy to take liposomal packets that make your supplements easy and quick to take. I genuinely trust Symbiotica with their ingredients and there's so many supplements that contain harmful additives. But Symbiotica's products are made clean and with intention. They don't contain seed oils or preservatives. My favorite is the magnesium. It helps with focus and sleep regulation. I also obviously love their liposomal vitamin C. I take those all the time when especially when I'm on Planes. They're always in my carry on bag. You guys have to get your hands on these products while their Black Friday sale is happening right now. Head over to symbiotica.com for 25 off. That's symbiotica.com for 25% off. And do something for your health today.

[Hannah Berner]

When you use SAP Concur Solutions to.

[Des]

Automate your business finances, you'll be ready for anything.

[Hannah Berner]

Accept the new office dog running off with your lunch. With SAP concur, you can be ready for.

[Des]

Almost anything.

[Hannah Berner]

Take control of your business finances [e-mail].

[Des]

I have to do a formal apology. And I know this is still alleged, but Garth Brooks.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, the murder thing.

[Des]

No, it's come out. Well, that. Oh, no, but there's like, it came out that he allegedly may have assaulted his makeup artist, which. First of all, why do you have a makeup artist, Garth Brooks?

[Hannah Berner]

Exactly. First point.

[Des]

So we first of all know that that girl was like, this job is. Why am I here?

[Hannah Berner]

Wait, is Garth Brooks the one that's married? Who's Garth Brooks married to? And let me look that up.

[Des]

I think it's a country person.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, Trisha Yearwood. Why did I think he was married to, like, the pioneer woman?

[Des]

You know, the pioneer Wood is giving Pioneer woman energy by the name, you know, Pioneer woman.

[Hannah Berner]

That's.

[Des]

Yeah, she's iconic. The red.

[Hannah Berner]

I find her very soothing.

[Des]

Also, have you heard about Ina Garden that she got.

[Hannah Berner]

She's getting a divorce maybe.

[Des]

But also, she just talked about how her whole life, like, she just had a really hard childhood.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh. I thought there was something with, like, her and Jeffrey. And I was like, wait, I thought they, like, were obsessed with each other. And she was like, if they break.

[Des]

Up, I think Ina Garden should be the next Golden Bachelorette. But yeah, so Garth Brooke has accusations against him, and this podcast is all about learning and growing. And I watched his documentary and I was like, this guy's amazing.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, I think I literally just fully made up that Ina Garden and her husband were getting a divorce.

[Des]

The thing with TikTok is that people throw a lot of things out there, and that's why we should continue using it as our factual source. So, anyway, keep an eye on Garth Brooks. Keep an eye on basically any man in music. Just keep an eye out.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, keep an eye out for them. I'm not down with them. I think we should bring something to the forefront. It's extremely important. And we changed the course of history. When it comes to the rebrand of Limited 2, I feel I fear that we were the reason. I'm not getting how they're not talking to me. I feel like they're like, really?

[Des]

Are they don't want hard to get? Are they playing hard to get?

[Hannah Berner]

I mean, I even commented, like, hello. I was like, hello, guys. Like, we could be collabing who's in.

[Des]

Charge at Limited two, because. Just call Paige. She will take your call. She'll handle it all.

[Hannah Berner]

The whole campaign is already done.

[Des]

She's already. I can see it already.

[Hannah Berner]

I already know what outfit I would want to recreate with the brownie.

[Des]

I know the poncho. I can see the poncho.

[Hannah Berner]

Guys, am I invisible to you? I'm like, I really am starting to think that, like, we have some secret beef. I'm like, we could get all. We could get the whole band back together. I'm in contact with multiple of the originals. Why are you guys acting like I exist?

[Des]

It's like Laguna beach doing a new Laguna beach without any of the original cast members.

[Hannah Berner]

We're just, like, not gonna invite Steven. Like, hello, Stephen.

[Des]

Okay, which limited to trend are you? Fringe poncho. I did own one, A pink one. Gauchos, which, if people don't know, that's like the wide pant or the long shirt with leggings.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, well, fun fact about Limited 2, because I not to brag, because I started work, I first did, like, my first shoot with them when I was in fifth grade. And then I went and did from fifth grade to eighth grade. So, like, the crew that did the Limited two shoots, I ended up, like, really getting to know them. And like, now thinking about it, they were, like, all in, like, their late 20s, early 30s, and I'm like, in middle school. And I, like, think they're my friends. I'm, like, obsessed with them. I didn't realize they were showing up every day, like, so fucking hungover. Like, I just thought, like, wearing sunglasses in the morning was, like, a cool thing to do. But when I was modeling for them, the stylist, her name is Liz Daniels, I was obsessed with her. I like, DM with her sometimes. She was, like, an incredible stylist. And I would go in and request, like, what outfits that I would be put in. And she would look at me. Yeah, she was like, okay, you're in fifth grade. You're not telling me what outfit you're going to be in. And I'm like, I'm putting in a small request.

[Des]

If you put me in that green poncho again, I'm gonna tell my mom.

[Hannah Berner]

That I can't need to be in all the gaucho outfits. I'm obsessed with gauchos. I love gauchos. I'm the gaucho girl.

[Des]

My body is made for a gaucho.

[Hannah Berner]

But here's the thing. My arms were too long. First for long, the long sleeve shirts. Like, I was never put in any long sleeve shirts because my arms are abnormally long.

[Des]

No one's ever said that to me in my life. They were like, put your stubs away.

[Hannah Berner]

So they would have to put me in the outfits that didn't have long sleeves. And some of them didn't go with the gauchos. So I would not throw a fit. But, like, I was upset.

[Des]

Wait. And I love you being a diva on the limited set. Like, when you walk in, everyone goes. I mean, she's kind of the problem.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm like, I've been here for five years. I'm putting the fucking gauchos on. This bitch just arrived.

[Des]

You just got hired six months ago. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me, bitch. It's like, okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Actually, that is, I think the first time I, like, was privy to, like, girls being difficult to, like, people being difficult to work with. I'll never forget, like, this one girl was her first photo shoot. And so, like, she came the first day and she was like, so excited and, like, amazing. We were all like, the same age. It was like, going to, like, camp. And then I remember she came the next day for the next day of the shoot, and she showed up, like, with big sunglasses on and was like, what time are we starting? Like, this is ridiculous. And I remember looking at my mom and starting to laugh because I was like, wait, what's going on? Like, I'm here for the Cheez. Its like, are you kidding? We got out of school, bitch. Like, be thankful.

[Des]

I do have to say a warning, though. That's hilarious. I arguably in my 20s, was too easy to work with. Like, I would say yes to everything. I would work overtime for everything. I would. Especially reality tv. I would just want to make everyone happy. And that cannot always do well. So it's finding that happy medium. I was. I watched the documentary about Vogue on Hulu. It's so fucking good. I like, learn about all the fashion houses.

[Hannah Berner]

Mm.

[Des]

The Prada girl is my everything.

[Hannah Berner]

No, the.

[Des]

The drama, the drama. And I messaged. There's this, like, old guy. He's not old, he's older, who's been working at Vogue forever. And he has this, like, great hairdo. And whenever it cuts to him, he's just like, it was the most spectacular look I've ever seen. Everyone's eyes went rolling back behind their heads. It was extravagant and so special. Like, the way fashion people describe an outfit you'd think they were describing, like, it's insane.

[Hannah Berner]

They're insane.

[Des]

And then it shows a girl with a skirt, and you're like, I'm very.

[Hannah Berner]

Happy that I do have, like, a split personality of, like, I love the fashion world, but also, like, I'm a comedian. Like, half. Half of watching it, I'm like, this has to be a bit like, you guys are funny.

[Des]

It was an escalator, and then the French lady who'd be like, I fucking hate Van de Wer. That sounded Russian. I don't understand why they would do that. And it's like, she's talking about a boot, and she's like, how does that. It's not sexy. It's not sexy. I literally.

[Hannah Berner]

If you haven't watched it, Hannah just nailed that impression.

[Des]

Also, why did Tom Ford's voice change? Tom Ford back then, like, had this, like, high voice, and now he talks like this.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. Now he's professional.

[Des]

Yeah. But you can tell he's trying to talk low.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. I think that's, like, the fashion. You, like, change your look, and so you, like, can change your voice.

[Paige DeSorbo]

It's very Madonna.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. It's all about change.

[Des]

So, anyway, limited to let's. Let's stop playing games.

[Hannah Berner]

No, it's also, like, I don't want to come off as, like, I'm begging.

[Des]

Or, like, no, no, no. You know what? Maybe this is what happens sometimes. It's just, like, a new group of people, and they don't know the history.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, well, here's the thing. In the post, they said, like, we're getting, like, the original designers of whatever, and I'm like, okay, guys, I. You, like, I feel like you're blatantly saying you don't want anything to do with me.

[Des]

Should you send them a message of, like, one of your old campaigns and.

[Hannah Berner]

Just be like, hey, well, I don't want them to. I don't want to feel like I'm stalking them, but I'm like, this is just, like, the most perfect collab.

[Des]

I know. I just don't want your ego to get in the way of, like, possibly a great thing. I think you should have your own collab. I think you should have your own line with them, like the Paige de Sorbo limited two line.

[Hannah Berner]

I feel like I'm not letting my ego get in the way because I'm like, I'm standing on my soapbox that I have, which is giggly squad. And I'm saying, yeah, say it. I'm here for you. Like, to collab in whatever capacity. I'm not asking to be the whole face of it. I just want, like, one picture in a locker.

[Des]

She doesn't want money, like, from money.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, why can't the campaign be us going into a locker and coming out into a boardroom the way you guys used to do it? Like, we'd go into the locker and then go into, like, the girls room. Like, secret room of school.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Back to school.

[Hannah Berner]

But it's, like, back to work because.

[Des]

We'Re all professionals podcasting guys.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, the ideas are flowing. Contact me. Like, you know how to reach me.

[Des]

I'm here. Okay, so that's planned out. Yeah, done. Period. I also love that Limited two got bullied. Like, they came out with all this stuff for kids, and people were like, no, this is for the millennials. Don't give it to these fucking gen alphas that don't even know what the brand is.

[Hannah Berner]

They were like, we wanted them to, like, experience it the same way you guys did. And I wanted to be like, well, we're different. We're different. They don't appreciate art.

[Des]

Mm. So watching. What are you watching?

[Hannah Berner]

What am I watching? Oh, my God. I have been, like, really in a binge mood. Like, where? Like, not like, a normal binge mood. Like, I'm talking. I need five to six seasons. Like, if you're hitting me with a 2, 3 seasoner, I'm running through it. I need five to six seasons of something.

[Des]

You're so deep in an addiction right now, you're like, one hit does nothing. One season does nothing.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't even feel it coming soon. Next season. Don't even start with me. Okay? I love you.

[Des]

I need three bad seasons. I need to lose the plot. That's how many seasons were in Jump the Shark.

[Hannah Berner]

And then I need 84 episodes, bitch. 84. Okay, so I never watched this Is Us finish this Is Us was distraught that it was over. So then I was like, I need to up the ante. I started Grey's Anatomy. I never watched ever watch it.

[Des]

Is it good?

[Hannah Berner]

It's. It's 20 seasons. I'm on season three. I couldn't be happier.

[Des]

How hot is Patrick Dempsey? Are you into Zaddy's now?

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, first of all, super fucking hot, But I actually think McSteamy is way hotter. But Patrick Dempsey's character. I don't know how so many girls loved him. He. He's the worst. He's the worst.

[Des]

Yeah. I haven't watched it.

[Hannah Berner]

I would have punched him right square in the face. He's not that hot. To act that much of a dick.

[Des]

During all the times those shows were going on, I realized I was in college just watching Jersey Shore. Like, I missed everything else I did watch. You know what you should watch from the beginning? Desperate Housewives.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay.

[Des]

Have you never seen it?

[Hannah Berner]

No, I've seen. Have you?

[Des]

Never. Have you? Sorry. I used to watch it with my mom. It was so good.

[Hannah Berner]

Realizing that your friend hasn't watched something which is like, totally plausible that you've watched is the same energy as when, like, your friend takes a picture of you and you're like, can you send me that?

[Des]

Cat Cohen just came out who's a funny musical comedian. A song like, can you send me that? Yes. Wait. It's really cute.

[Hannah Berner]

I just heard that on TikTok.

[Des]

It's so funny.

[Hannah Berner]

She has a special coming out.

[Des]

She's so hilarious. Genius.

[Hannah Berner]

Her. Is it her husband?

[Des]

Boyfriend?

[Hannah Berner]

I think they have some funny videos together.

[Des]

Oh yeah. They had that video of every time he leaves. Is that the one you're talking about?

[Hannah Berner]

Like, it's.

[Des]

It was a one night stand.

[Hannah Berner]

Yes.

[Des]

Even though they live together. And he'll be like, that was really fun.

[Hannah Berner]

I love role playing. I love being anyone other than me.

[Des]

I love how you're an Oscar winning actress when it comes to avoiding yourself.

[Paige DeSorbo]

100.

[Des]

I do have to say I hate when people get mad. When I didn't watch a movie. If it's my best friend, that's fine because she's like, knows me. But when people are just like, you never fucking saw American Psycho.

[Hannah Berner]

People get hyped about it.

[Des]

But that's why I lie. I always go, yeah. And then they go. If they have a follow up, you're like, I mean, I saw it a while ago. Whenever someone says, I saw it a while ago, they didn't see it. And they're just trying to get out of the conversation.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I always say, I gotta rewatch it. Yeah.

[Des]

I haven't seen. I saw part of it. I saw part of it. I saw a commercial.

[Hannah Berner]

I feel like you did that all through, like, Breaking Bad.

[Des]

Des mean me. But there's some shows that I can only watch with Des because I think there's. I like that he likes it. So, like, he's like, watch it without me. And I'm like, I literally can't enjoy it without you. But when it's on, it's like we're watching something together. But I actually have two documentaries for you guys to watch. Speaking of bad taste in men, Jailbreak, Love on the Run on Netflix is so intense.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, so face so fucking intense.

[Des]

It's so good. And part of me I want to. Maybe I need to be her in a movie. She's this, like, badass. She runs the jail. And when you're a woman running a male jail, like, you have to be tough. They're all, like, trying to flirt with you and, like, get stuff from you. And she's just the shit. And she, like, boss everyone around. Everyone loves her, and she's like the mom all these guys never had. Then comes this six, seven tatted up guy who I'm pretty sure, like, domestically abused everyone he's ever met. And he was in there because he, like, tried to murder his girlfriend and arguably hurt the dog, which is like, that's next. That's even worse. So she. It's basically, they say that he literally one at one point said, you have a nice ass. Which, like, that's enough to get me 100.

[Hannah Berner]

Me too.

[Des]

That's how Dez got me. Des was like, no, we're. And I was like, I love it.

[Hannah Berner]

We're not as high maintenance as we appear.

[Des]

Like, if you notice, if you like my ass. I said, this man gets me. He has good taste, he's smart, he's funny.

[Hannah Berner]

The way that your heart is commenting on your ass, how funny you are and asking if you're hungry, like, I could pick you up so easily.

[Des]

And also, I don't even need a man to tell me I'm funny. I just like when he. He's giggling like he can't.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, he's acknowledging he doesn't even want.

[Des]

Me to be funny. He can't help it.

[Hannah Berner]

Can't help.

[Des]

He can't help it.

[Hannah Berner]

Can't you want them to hate that? They love it.

[Des]

They can't help but giggle at the shit you say. And you're just, like, controlling them through laughter. Any. So on the low, they start messing around, which is very difficult in the jail because there's so many cameras. But she's in charge, so she'll be like, hey, he's staying in because he has to fill out a form. You can take these guys out to the playground or whatever they do. I don't think it's called the playground.

[Hannah Berner]

This is, like, immediately turned into sleepaway camp. It's like, yeah, nap Time. Arts and crafts is in room B.

[Des]

So then, like, they would, like, mess around. So then fast forward. She's acting really weird one day, and she's getting really bad anxiety. Like, she's starting to have, like, Like.

[Hannah Berner]

I mean, beta blocker's remorse.

[Des]

She really. No, she realizes that, like, she needs to do something. So she, out of nowhere is like, I'm retiring. And everyone's like, what? She's like, I'm retiring. This is my last day. And everyone said she was so weird that day. And, like, she definitely was having some, like, panic attacks and stuff because she knew something was going down. And it shows. At the end of the day, she's like, oh, I'm gonna bring this inmate to the courthouse because he has to do something with the court. And they show. There's a video. Apparently you're never supposed to let the inmate walk behind you. They always have to walk in front of you so you could see them. She's walking out the door, keeps the door open, and he's just walking behind her, which is like a no, no. Like, if anyone else did that, she'd freak out. He gets in the car with her to go to the courthouse. They're gone for like, three hours. And everyone's like, that's weird. It Normally takes like, 40 minutes. They disappear. They ran away together.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Where?

[Des]

So there no one knows. They're, like, on the run. And everyone's like, this killer is with this woman. And then they realize, like, he didn't capture her, like, she's in on it. But then America starts to be like, this is romantic as fuck. We're low key rooting for them.

[Hannah Berner]

No, we're sick. We're a sick nation.

[Des]

We're like, let love happen. And then everyone's like, he's gonna kill her. But, like, he's. And, like, they show all.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm gonna wait for more of a redder flag, actually. I'm, like, not convinced.

[Des]

But they're phone calls. And she's, like, way older than him, and he's just like, he's in love with her from the phone calls. But, like, we've all been there. Like, if I could. The voicemails I could share with you guys of dudes who claim they don't like you. And he's just like, you're my everything. Da, da, da. I'm not going to give away what happens, but okay. It's crazy. Jailbreak love on the run.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, there we have it. A light Sunday evening watch. Just something to start your week off.

[Des]

Atlantic City we're actually almost sold out. We're excited about. But Madison and Milwaukee and Minneapolis, we're coming for. You get tickets if you haven't anything else going on. Paige.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I think that's it.

[Des]

There's, like. That's it. Like, period.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, Period Slay. Have a great week.

[Des]

Bye. We love you guys. Thanks for giggling.