Giggling about onlyfans, canada, and cake

Summary

Giggly Squad Episode Summary: "Giggling about OnlyFans, Canada, and Cake"

Release Date: December 10, 2024
Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Description: Each week, Hannah and Paige delve into a myriad of topics—from pop culture and fashion trends to personal anecdotes and self-deprecating humor. In this episode, they explore their experiences with OnlyFans, navigate the complexities of crossing the Canada–US border, and share hilarious moments related to cake and other lighthearted subjects.

---

1. Border Control Adventures: Navigating Canada–US Entry

Hannah and Grace recount their tumultuous experience attempting to re-enter the United States after performing in Canada. The duo faced stringent border control measures, leading to a series of comedic yet nerve-wracking interactions with border agents.

• Grace [03:28]: "Giggly Squad is a professional podcast. Let's talk about something that's really important. Border control. Talk about border control."

• Hannah [04:37]: "We're performing. I love what. I was like, ask me more, bitch."

Their differing approaches—Hannah's tendency to overshare versus Grace's curt responses—created tension at the border. Grace's attempt to feign forgetfulness about her passport led to a humorous yet tense standoff.

• Grace [06:42]: "Wait, that's such a. Like, little kid to your mom. Like, mom, can I tell you something? When are we going home?"

Despite the chaos, they managed to convince the border agent of their legitimate intentions, highlighting their teamwork and ability to defuse stressful situations with humor.

---

2. OnlyFans: Empowerment or Controversy?

The conversation shifts to the topic of OnlyFans, examining its role as a platform for female entrepreneurship versus the backlash from male perspectives.

• Hannah [39:32]: "The men are furious. But it's like this is just basic business."

• Grace [40:11]: "But you guys paid her."

They discuss how OnlyFans allows women to monetize their content directly, challenging traditional stigmas associated with sex work. Hannah emphasizes the economic empowerment it provides, while Grace highlights the unnecessary criticism from men who may feel threatened by women's financial independence.

• Hannah [41:14]: "They're doing their own production. It's just the girls are making more money on OnlyFans because it goes straight to them instead of getting like..."

The duo advocates for viewing OnlyFans as a legitimate business model, deserving of respect and recognition.

---

3. Judging "Is a Cake": Behind the Scenes

Hannah shares her recent appearance on the holiday episode of the show "Is a Cake," where participants emulate everyday objects with cakes. She reflects on the challenges of balancing humor with constructive criticism.

• Hannah [09:43]: "Yesterday, I am on the holiday episode of Is a Cake."

• Grace [10:00]: "They give you 20 seconds, but you also have to say stuff that's, like, funny."

Hannah admits to struggling with the quick-paced judging format, contrasting her approach with that of confident commentators like Tiffany Haddish. Despite her self-criticism, she appreciates the hard work that goes into cake artistry.

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4. Personal Relationships and Dating Dynamics

The hosts delve into their personal lives, discussing their experiences with dating apps, relationship preferences, and the influence of family dynamics on their romantic interactions.

• Grace [42:52]: "I've never been truly hit on in my DMs, like, ever."

• Hannah [43:26]: "I hate to say it. And I hate to, like, support pretty privilege."

They explore the challenges of online dating, with Hannah lamenting the superficial aspects of dating apps and Grace expressing frustration over the lack of meaningful connections. The conversation also touches on societal expectations and the pressures of maintaining relationships.

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5. Parenting and Holiday Traditions: The Magic of Santa

Hannah and Grace share their thoughts on parenting practices related to holiday traditions, specifically the belief in Santa Claus and the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon.

• Grace [61:46]: "I'm gonna make you do that elf thing."

• Hannah [60:41]: "I do think there's a point, too, where your kids become grateful that you, like, went above and beyond."

They debate the ethics of perpetuating myths like Santa Claus, weighing the joy and magic it brings against the deception involved. Grace advocates for maintaining the tradition to preserve children's happiness, while Hannah reflects on the balance between honesty and maintaining festive spirit.

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6. Celebrity Crushes and Pop Culture Observations

The hosts discuss their celebrity crushes, sharing humorous takes on famous personalities and their public personas.

• Hannah [53:12]: "Cooper Koch. I have to get over."

• Grace [54:14]: "He looks like Matthew Bomber."

Their conversation highlights the absurdities of celebrity culture, from Timothée Chalamet’s versatility to Jacob Elordi’s allure. The dialogue is peppered with playful teasing and light-hearted banter, showcasing their chemistry and comedic timing.

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7. Travel Tales: Airports and TSA Woes

Hannah and Grace recount their chaotic experiences with airline security and airport etiquette, emphasizing the humorous side of travel mishaps.

• Hannah [30:00]: "They don't get me. And if they did, I would just be like, oopsie, poopsie."

• Grace [31:55]: "I'm done with airports. I'm done with TSA."

From struggling with luggage placement to dealing with overzealous TSA agents, the duo illustrates the frustrations and comedic moments that come with frequent travel. Their anecdotes resonate with listeners who have faced similar challenges, adding relatability to their storytelling.

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8. Holiday Shopping and Gift-Giving Strategies

Though sparingly touched upon, Hannah and Grace offer insights into their holiday shopping habits, including strategies to maximize savings and thoughtful gift selection.

• Grace [60:38]: "I signed up for Rakuten because you can stack holiday sales and deals on top of cash back to maximize your savings."

• Hannah [25:27]: "We're not done. We're not done."

Their approach combines practicality with a festive spirit, aiming to make the holiday season enjoyable and stress-free. They advocate for smart shopping techniques, such as utilizing cash-back apps and selecting personalized gifts that bring joy to both the giver and receiver.

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9. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

The episode wraps up with enthusiastic announcements about upcoming shows and tours, building anticipation for fans eager to follow their comedic journey.

• Hannah [66:54]: "We've never taken Grace to a strip club. I just. We've never taken her to strip club."

• Grace [68:15]: "I'm so excited to go to Salt Lake City."

They tease future locations for their tours, including Nashville, New Orleans, and Tacoma, promising more laughter and memorable encounters. The final moments reinforce their commitment to entertaining their audience with unabashed humor and authentic storytelling.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Hannah [02:22]: "Manifest that we can't be managed."

• Grace [04:10]: "Ask me more, bitch."

• Hannah [06:30]: "We were in purgatory."

• Grace [14:55]: "I'm so lucky that you're not flexible."

• Hannah [47:58]: "But that's my identity."

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Conclusion

In this episode of Giggly Squad, Hannah and Grace navigate a blend of personal anecdotes, social commentary, and pop culture discussions with their signature humor and candidness. From border control escapades and OnlyFans debates to reflections on relationships and holiday traditions, they provide an engaging and relatable listening experience. The episode underscores their dynamic partnership and commitment to making their audience laugh while tackling a diverse array of topics.

Whether you're a longtime fan or new to their podcast, this episode offers a comprehensive glimpse into the lives and thoughts of Hannah Berner and Grace DeSorbo, making it a must-listen for anyone seeking laughter and insightful conversations.

Transcript

[Hannah]

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for Career Day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B but with LinkedIn you'll be able to reach people who do. Get a hundred dollar credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn the place to Be To Be.

[Paige]

If you're a last minute shopper like me and you stress out right before the holidays, have no fear because Nordstrom is here. Nordstrom has gifts under $100. Gift cards, stocking stuffers. They truly have something for everyone on your list. My favorite person to gift to is myself. They have amazing holiday and party outfits and freestyle help. You can get festive fashion advice from Nordstrom experts for free in stores, online and on the Nordstrom app. Time's running out. Be sure to head to Nordstrom.com now to order all your last minute gifts to arrive in time for the holidays or head in store to pick out a gift today. Okay Gigglers, I have a bit of a cocktail revelation to share. Hannah and I are obsessed with Espresso Martinis and have found the secret ingredient for them. It's Mr. Black. Mr. Black is a cold brew coffee liqueur made from 100% specialty grade coffee and vodka. It's unlike any coffee liqueur, it's not too sweet and it makes the perfect espresso martini. I'm all about cultivating a vibe in my new apartment and the first thing I make whenever people come over is an espresso martini with Mr. Black. Mr. Black carefully selects and roasts their coffee and the cold brew process gives a delicious, unique flavor. Try Mr. Black for the ultimate espresso martini at their website MrBlack Co that's M R B L A C K Co Please drink responsibly Mr. Black Coffee Laur 25% alcohol by volume Diageo New York, NY.

[Hannah]

Sup gigglers? Gary, fix your Wi Fi. Manifest that we can't be managed. I mean the day just got away from me. What's up my Gotcha Gigglers.

[Grace]

Oh good.

[Hannah]

I do have to say at the end of our shows we do a Q and A where Grace goes around and chooses people based on their kind eyes. Yes, she doesn't like when people like run up to her aggressively. She doesn't even want to be Doing it.

[Grace]

She doesn't want to be there at all.

[Hannah]

She doesn't want to be there at all. And this girl runs up to her and, like, grabs the mic, and immediately everyone was like, oh, no. Because this girl clearly was blackout. Having too much fun. The girl grabs the mic, and I'm like, what you gonna say? And she just goes, gotcha. And everyone just went nuts.

[Grace]

No, it was so funny.

[Hannah]

So it's become a thing now. Like, gigglers are coming up to the airport, just going, gotcha. So we created.

[Grace]

Honestly, it's kind of terrifying.

[Hannah]

On the.

[Grace]

Streets of New York City. Gotcha. I'd be like, they're gonna shoot me in the face.

[Hannah]

So we almost didn't make it to Canada.

[Grace]

No, we almost didn't make it back into America.

[Hannah]

Both. When we were going across to Canada, the lady was not having it.

[Grace]

Giggly Squad is a professional podcast. Let's talk about something that's really important. Border control. Talk about border control.

[Hannah]

You didn't think this was going to be top of the agenda today.

[Grace]

And I understand that Canada was, in fact, trying to keep out the riff raft. And that is.

[Hannah]

And we respect that.

[Grace]

And I respect that.

[Hannah]

We respect that.

[Grace]

We pull up to the border and we get. First of all, we get our passports. We, like, give them to her. She's stunning. I feel like that's important.

[Hannah]

Yeah. And her skin was glowing, but she immediately had an attitude. She was like, all at the same time. Because Grace was, like, holding two, and she's like, all at the same time. I was like, ooh, she's not happy with us.

[Grace]

And then this is the difference between me and Hannah. Hannah wanted to give her her life story. Like, this is why we're here. This is what we're doing. And I was like, tell this bitch nothing. Why does she need to know what we at the casino?

[Hannah]

So this thing of border control, if you don't have, like, a. When you are working in another country, you have to have, like, a slip of some kind.

[Grace]

Yeah. Like a permit of some sort.

[Hannah]

And I've definitely gone over and, like, didn't print out the slip or whatever. And then just been like, I'm going to see friends, and they can't really say anything. But this time I knew we had the slip, and she was giving us attitudes. So she was like, why are you guys here? And I was like, we're performing. I love what. I was like, ask me more, bitch.

[Grace]

Ask me.

[Hannah]

And she was like, what kind of performance is this? Like a band or something?

[Grace]

And I was like, And I was like, I actually can hit the note. Thank you so much for bringing this up. I've been hitting my wicked note because.

[Hannah]

I did hit it.

[Grace]

And it just immediately goes, yeah, it is a band.

[Hannah]

But she's looking at us like, there's no way you're a band. And I go, we're a podcast. She's like, what's your podcast about? And in that moment, I wanted to be like, how difficult it is to get over the border. And now you get attitude. And I tell that to the guy when we leave, and he's the guy driving us. And he was like, you would have gotten us arrested if you said that. And I was like, thank God for the first time in my life, I kept something in my own head.

[Grace]

Yeah. And you said, comedy.

[Hannah]

Comedy. And she looked at us like, well, you're not funny. And then really scared us like we weren't going to get through.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So we thought. Didn't think we were going to get through, even though there was. They make you feel like you have cocaine up your pussy. And you start to boot. Like, they gaslight you to be like, I shouldn't go over the border.

[Grace]

Well, here's the thing in my head.

[Hannah]

If we did have cocaine in our.

[Grace]

Pussy, who aren't going to find it? Because this is the first time I've ever gone into Canada driving, like, so going through the border, like, in a car.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

They don't check anything.

[Hannah]

No. They're like, do you have guns? And we're like, no. And she's like, good.

[Grace]

She's like, don't lie.

[Hannah]

Don't.

[Grace]

But, like, what if I did? Like, I totally could have in that car.

[Hannah]

We definitely think Canada. You got to tighten it up a little bit.

[Grace]

Tighten it up.

[Hannah]

Kind of tighten it up. But then going. Going back. This is. We've done six shows in four days. It's the end of our tour for 2024. We're like, oh, my God, we did it.

[Grace]

And it's zero brain cells between the three of us.

[Hannah]

It's 7am So I never have brain cells at that time. And we get to the border, and the guy goes, give me your passports. And Grace immediately looks at me with, like, a weird look, and I'm like.

[Grace]

Like, you were her mom.

[Hannah]

She looked at me like, the guy said it in a weird way. And I was like, I don't think he was mean about it. And then she's, like, still looking at me with this weird blank stare. And I'm like, are you okay? And she goes, I Can't find my passport. And this is when.

[Grace]

Wait, that's such a. Like, little kid to your mom. Like, mom, can I tell you something? When are we going home? That's, like, how it felt.

[Hannah]

No.

[Grace]

And immediately I'm like, I turned into my mom. You turned into yours. I start praying.

[Hannah]

I'm like, it's fine.

[Grace]

We'll say St. Anthony.

[Hannah]

St. Anthony. You went to God. You found Jesus. I assume that I took it. I go, I probably have it. I'm going through my shit. I'm like, oh, I was looking for that. Are you looking for.

[Grace]

Your bag was so iconic because Grace goes, why are you looking in your bag? You go, I'm trying to be helpful.

[Hannah]

Looking under my shirt, I'm like, in.

[Grace]

My hat, I'm like, we're done for.

[Hannah]

You go. Full negative. You go, we're never leaving.

[Grace]

I go, we reside here now.

[Hannah]

And it turns out we were in. What's it called, Like, a in between.

[Grace]

We were in purgatory.

[Hannah]

We were in purgatory.

[Grace]

We weren't in America, but we weren't still in Canada.

[Hannah]

So we couldn't get back.

[Grace]

No, we couldn't go back to Canada to be like. We forgot it.

[Hannah]

So we call the hotel, though, to be like, do you guys. Can you look in the hotel room? And it's like a bunch of security guards. And they're like, we looked. We couldn't find it. And I'm like, is there a woman there?

[Grace]

No. Truly?

[Hannah]

Because you guys search for two minutes. I know how men look for things. They don't even, like, lift stuff up.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

But they're like, we can't find it. And the woman is like. Grace gives her a paper, and Paige is just like, we're not making it.

[Grace]

Yeah. I'm like, there's just. I'm like, there's no way. This 2024. You can't, like, get into America without a passport.

[Hannah]

At that point, we weren't even trying to get in. We were just like, fuck.

[Grace]

We were like, what do we do? What do we have to do?

[Hannah]

Meanwhile, border control getting back into America. She's like, yeah, you guys are good. And paige is like, St. Anthony. St. Anthony. We're never going to make it back. And she's like, can you please just, like, drive? And Paige is like, we're never going to get home. So they were begging us to go back to America. Grace got back into America. Oh, yeah. Grace also didn't have another form of id.

[Grace]

I was like, there's no logical possible. I was like, if you had your ID and you lost your passport. Yeah. You're saying your Grace.

[Hannah]

No, she lost her ID in Boston.

[Grace]

America was like, we don't give a flying father.

[Hannah]

So for anyone who needs to get in from Canada, you're welcome.

[Grace]

You're fine.

[Hannah]

Our arms are wide open. And if you're thinking, grace, stop losing things. Grace has too much on her plate.

[Grace]

No, she does.

[Hannah]

Grace has to keep make sure we're awake, make sure we're breathing, make sure we're fed.

[Grace]

She's been HR multiple times in the past three months. We've denied her request every time. We're like, put it in the comment box. We'll get to it.

[Hannah]

There's going to be a Netflix documentary about the toxic work environment of Squad, and it's just Grace, like, anonymous, speaking like, yes. This one time, Hannah forgot her boots, and I had to Uber back 40 minutes to get her boots for the show.

[Grace]

One time, Paige commented on my boobs and how she wanted to see them.

[Hannah]

You guys are laughing, but everyone with a real job is like, yeah, not okay. Not okay.

[Grace]

She will legit ask for hr. We start laughing. We're like, that's so funny. We have to.

[Hannah]

You're the next Lizzo.

[Grace]

Hannah.

[Hannah]

We've never taken Grace to a strip club. I just. We've never taken her to strip club. Even though she asks all the time. I'm just kidding. Grace's mom, who listens. Oh, God. Oh, God. Anyway.

[Grace]

Anyway, we're back.

[Hannah]

Quick update. And I forgot to say, yesterday, I am on the holiday episode of Is a Cake.

[Grace]

Yes.

[Hannah]

A lot of moms have been messaging me. Just want to say I probably was the worst judge that ever judged. Is a cake. Do you know how fucking hard it is?

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

They give you 20 seconds, and you're far away. You're far away. They give you 20 seconds, but you also have to say stuff that's, like, funny. I. Every time I blinked.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And, like, it's one of those things where, like, I think I could hit the wicked note. I don't think I could get is it cake? And Tiffany Haddish was, like, confident. Like, she was like, that's cake. That's cake. Turn that. That guy said, whatever she. Whatever she wants.

[Grace]

Whatever she wants.

[Hannah]

What was funny is, when we got there, they were. I was like, do people, like, get upset? Like, you know, we're judges. Like, is this fucking American Idol? And they were like, literally, once someone cried, like, years ago. But, like, no, it's really fun. But they were like, they do work for, like, 12 hours to put these cakes together. So just, like, keep that in mind.

[Grace]

Yeah, like, they're tired.

[Hannah]

The whole episode was people crying. The whole episode, people cried. And I loved all the. I was like, no, you're perfect. Like, I don't even. Tiffany got it. I don't know. Like, I couldn't tell. You're perfect.

[Grace]

But do they get, like, eliminated? I only watched your episode.

[Hannah]

They literally are like, bye, bitch. So.

[Grace]

Oh, my God, it's cutthroat.

[Hannah]

The episode is, like, them working hard and then us dumb comics coming in. Be like, death kick.

[Grace]

And I like the fuck, too.

[Hannah]

Oh, Mikey Day is so cute.

[Grace]

Yeah, he's cute. He's funny.

[Hannah]

So he's actually. I realized from one of my favorite, like, viral YouTubes back in the day of. Who's the magician? David. I was gonna say David Spade. David Blaine.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

There's. If you YouTube David Blaine, it's like, making fun of David Blaine and how he'll be like, I'm pulling this out of your pocket. And how people freak out. And it's.

[Grace]

I feel like there was a time in, like, the 2000 and tens where, like, magicians were really having a moment.

[Hannah]

No, magicians were cool. I feel like we should bring it back.

[Grace]

I don't know.

[Hannah]

Should we bring it back?

[Grace]

Have you ever gone to a magic show?

[Hannah]

I once went to this, like, swanky New York City bar where, like, everyone sits and there's a magician at the table. And it was really fun.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

But there's two types of people. One that are like, oh, it was in his glove. And for this. Yeah.

[Grace]

And then there's people who are just.

[Hannah]

Like, I believe in magic. I enjoy it. And that's what I was. I enjoyed it until they were bringing out, like, the doves. I don't need doves. Yeah.

[Grace]

I don't need live animals.

[Hannah]

Leave animals out of it. That's why we don't have live animals on the giggly squad.

[Grace]

But like, David Blaine and, like, locking yourself in, like, a cage that, like, goes into shark infested water. It's like, maybe call a therapist.

[Hannah]

Maybe go to therapy.

[Grace]

Just like, men will do anything to not go to therapy and they'll become magicians.

[Hannah]

No. And why is it always, like, the girl that they put into that box?

[Grace]

Have you ever seen a female magician, like, putting a man into a box and. And sawing it up?

[Hannah]

Okay, now that's my next Netflix special. Now I need to do that. Well, I feel like, like, pilots, we're going to get, like, a ton of girls. Being like, I'm a magician. As you should be. But it is. It is funny that it's always a man being like. I think, yeah.

[Grace]

I've never seen a magic show advertised, and it was like, a woman normally.

[Hannah]

I guess it's more like the Cirque du Soleil where the girls are like, I can take my limbs and, like, fold it behind my head, which. Jealous.

[Grace]

I'm actually into that TikTok. I feel like me and you should do it. But this sounds like. Have you ever seen this one? Have you ever seen this one?

[Hannah]

Every girl that was a former dancer, I just have to say, did it probably get you, like, nowhere in terms of your career? Probably not, no.

[Grace]

But, you know, like, there's like, sorry, it's a Monday, and Hannah showed up.

[Hannah]

No, but, you know, like, you played football. You got a scholarship. Like, yeah, there. I don't think they were dance dancers.

[Grace]

The dance scholars have a hard life.

[Hannah]

No. Well, like, yeah, they're getting paid. No money doing.

[Grace]

Maybe they became, like, even become a professional dancer. You're just. You're a backup.

[Hannah]

Still not getting paid enough. Yeah.

[Grace]

You're not getting, like, the recognition.

[Hannah]

But what I'm gonna say is, were they fucking cool in high school? Yes. The dance team at my school, these girls were just popping their pussy, like, so effortlessly. They. They would all do it, like, the same, and, like, they were untouchable. Like, they were.

[Grace]

The only reason I wanted to become a cheerleader in high school was the vibe.

[Hannah]

In my, like, public school, I went to there, the cheerleaders kind of were like. We barely had a gym, so, like, I don't know what they were doing. It was the dance team that was the shit, because they were like. They could give a blowjob.

[Grace]

Yeah, the dance team knows how to give a blow.

[Hannah]

When Sierra came out with her song, when she came up with My goodies. My goodies, my goodies. Not every. Cheerleading. The hair flip. Yeah, and the hair flip. And the hair. That's my favorite dancers. They're really good.

[Grace]

Actually, one of my favorite things to watch on TikTok is, like, college dance. Dance team competitions.

[Hannah]

Yeah. It's amazing. But I do have to say, y'all bitches are so lucky. I can't do a split.

[Grace]

We're Hannah. We're so lucky. There's so many things that you can't do. We're so lucky that you don't have the voice of an angel.

[Hannah]

You're so.

[Grace]

We're so luck that you're not flexible.

[Hannah]

So if I was flexible I'd be sitting here with my leg around my head.

[Grace]

And we're so lucky you're not a morning person. If you had those three things, I don't think we'd even be friends. I don't think. I don't think we'd even be sat at this flower table.

[Hannah]

I might be the star of Wiccan, which, by the way, I saw with my mom.

[Grace]

And what did you think?

[Hannah]

It was fucking fantastic. Are there moments that you would be cringy or you'd be like, I'm going to fall asleep. Yes. But after watching it again, remember, I'm delusional. You are Glinda. Like, you are Glinda and I am Elphaba. Yeah, this is like a niche comment, but it was giving, like, reality TV to me where, like, you kind of became the princess. And then I was like, gotta go. I flew out and I was like.

[Grace]

I'm like, you're just gonna leave me here with all the munchkins?

[Hannah]

I became the Wicked Witch of the West. But then people realize it was. It's all. The whole thing is about propaganda.

[Grace]

So the story, the story of Wicked is about us.

[Hannah]

It's literally giggly squad and there's short men running around.

[Grace]

No, not the short men.

[Hannah]

But I do have to say it's about propaganda of how, like, you can make anyone believe in something and you can make every. Everyone can bond over hating the same thing. And there's this concept of they all started to turn on the animals because animals could speak. And they were like, these animals speaking is bad. And they got everyone against it. And also, you guys know this from the wizard of Oz, so this isn't a spoiler. Oz is all bullshit. Like, his power, his everything, it's all just made up to control people. And she. She calls them out.

[Grace]

I didn't know.

[Hannah]

And they try to make her seem like she's wicked because she was the.

[Grace]

Only one speaking your mind.

[Hannah]

Speaking your mind, being like. And, well, people are going to leave.

[Grace]

I wasn't. It's getting better.

[Hannah]

Don't say that.

[Grace]

Getting.

[Hannah]

Don't fucking say that.

[Grace]

It's either staying the same or getting better, but it's not getting worse.

[Hannah]

Well, because at first, honestly, there was really bad acoustic acoustics in that room.

[Grace]

And you had to follow. I also had, like a weird nap earlier that day.

[Hannah]

Musicians are so funny. They'll be like, all you have to do is drink Dr. Pepper with a little bit of honey and you'll sound amazing. Like, everyone has a weird, like, weird little thing. Thing they do.

[Grace]

Did you see Ariana and Cynthia were both nominated for Golden Globes? Yes.

[Hannah]

As they should. Want to make one note. Why? I think it's golden. One of them Golden Globes, they added a comedy section. They did, but they. Well, they have like the comedies and they go musical slash, comedy. Why is that the same? Then they added a stand up thing. I was not nominated. I will be speaking to the Academy about that.

[Grace]

Wait, so it's a section of tv, film, musicals, slash, comedy. So, like, how many musical slash comedies.

[Hannah]

Are there to have a separate thing for musicals? Like, musicals are not comedies. It's just like these. The Academy or whoever does not respect comedy as an art form. When it's fucking hard to do.

[Grace]

And when you say it's comedy, it's just movies and tv. It's not specials.

[Hannah]

Specials was just given last year its own.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

And it's. And it's sometimes.

[Grace]

Who was nominated for specials?

[Hannah]

Yeah, well, Ali Wong.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Nikki.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Jamie Foxx. Who I didn't know. Special.

[Grace]

Really? Yeah, I was just gonna say Rami Youssef.

[Hannah]

And there's one more that I'm forgetting.

[Grace]

Shane Gillis.

[Hannah]

No, really. But that's why you.

[Grace]

Who's nominating the people. Okay. Actually, this brings me to my next thing. Lana Del Rey didn't know that you had to submit your songs to the Grammys.

[Hannah]

But also, she's not even the one that would do it. It's her team who would do it.

[Grace]

But like, that's. She was like, I didn't know that was even a thing. Her managers had to tell her, like, no, you have to submit to get a Grammy.

[Hannah]

Did you just submit?

[Grace]

No, she just thought like, oh, you just like get put on the.

[Hannah]

That's her team's job, right?

[Grace]

No, but then they submitted her. But like, going into it, she was like, oh, I thought you just like.

[Hannah]

I actually don't know if my team submitted me. Grace, can you double check that? I think that's what happened. I think it got lost in the mail.

[Grace]

What about the section for live shows and Drunk girls live podcast?

[Hannah]

No, but I do have to say awards in general. This is like end of the year where you're going to start seeing. Oh, my God. Everyone doing the, like, my year in a nut challenge, like, love, broken heart, working out, eating good food, traveling, the weather.

[Grace]

Wait, what are you talking about?

[Hannah]

This is what's going to happen on TikTok. Everyone's like, end of the year, like montages, which I love that everyone's making their life more romantic than it is, but, like, who's it for? Send it to your mom. Who's it for? Put it together. Send it to your mom.

[Grace]

Speaking of, do you have any New Year's resolutions?

[Hannah]

I'm trying to survive today.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

New Year's resolutions.

[Grace]

Anything you're trying to, like, improve on change? I'm drawing a blank. That's crazy. I'm perfect.

[Hannah]

I actually do want to stretch more, but, like, I've been saying that since I was 12.

[Grace]

Yeah, no, I want to work out more. Not even, like, this is the first time in my life, I'm like, no, I need to work out because I'm brittle and frail and I will die. Not like, oh, I want to have, like, a high, tight butt. But, like, also. Yes.

[Hannah]

But, like, mine is definitely not because I'm brittle and frail. But I. We travel a lot, and I feel like. Yeah, our bodies are, like, breaking down. I mean, I've been doing the worm. My lower back.

[Grace]

Like, I need to be stronger.

[Hannah]

We want to be strong. Strong and strong is beauty, as Alona Mayor. Alona Mayor would say. True, true. My goodies. My goodies.

[Grace]

Another thing. I have a question for you.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

You walk. Say you're walking into your bedroom.

[Hannah]

Wait, you never asked me questions. This is crazy.

[Grace]

You're walking into your personal bedroom.

[Hannah]

Why are you pointing.

[Grace]

Because I'm trying to set the scene. This is you walking in.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Grace]

You're walking in. You're staring at your bed.

[Hannah]

Yep.

[Grace]

Okay. You're at the foot of it. You're staring at it.

[Hannah]

My bed's on the left.

[Grace]

Okay. What side do you sleep on?

[Hannah]

Oh, okay. This is crazy. It's crazy. This is crazy. Because. Not to brag, brag. But when we're in West Hampton.

[Grace]

Yes.

[Hannah]

When we're West Hampton, I sleep on the left.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

I've always slept on the left in the city. I sleep on the right. Basically, I sleep whatever's farthest to the door. The man in my head, the man sleeps close by the door.

[Grace]

Okay. That is how I sleep, too. Like, I'm always closer to the window.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Because if someone comes, they get them first. They. As they should.

[Grace]

But I saw this thing on TikTok that was like. It has nothing to do with, like, the door or whatever. There's a masculine and feminine side of the bed. And she said, if you're single, you have to sleep on the left side of the bed to, like, tell the universe you're ready for someone to.

[Hannah]

I support women in the arts. I don't support this. It's not true.

[Grace]

But in, like, okay, me not even knowing this inherently, I go to the left side. Like, I go to the feminine side.

[Hannah]

Well, it's funny because I was single, and during COVID I slept on the right side the whole time. That's when I met my husband. So go fuck yourself. I'm not trying to be negative, Nancy.

[Grace]

In my old apartment, I slept on.

[Hannah]

The right and you.

[Grace]

But I felt very in charge and very masculine. I love when life imitates art. That's when I was really just.

[Hannah]

I do understand the, like, coming into your feminine energy thing, but again, I.

[Grace]

So need to come into my feminine energy in 2025. I'm gonna.

[Hannah]

But I would argue let's all. Like, that all of it's made up. Like, what makes feminine energy is a stereotype anyway? Like, what if feminine energy is being assertive and organized and, like, it's all. All the binary stuff. Like, let's forget.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

You're a soul.

[Grace]

Thank you.

[Hannah]

You're like. Like Daphne.

[Grace]

Speaking of that bit, how is she? When I came home yesterday from tour, she was, like, giving me attitude. Like, oh, look who it is in.

[Hannah]

Your life who gives you attitude.

[Grace]

Truly. Like, she wouldn't come over to me. Like, I obviously picked her up and was like, we're snuggling, we're hugging, we're loving. And she was like, okay. And then like, I'm gonna go do my own thing. So she wasn't, like, actively coming over to me. It was more just like, can't believe you're back. Like, this is what we do here. So, like, fall in line. And then at, like, 3:00am, I felt her little head on my head, and I said, okay, are you not mad at me anymore? And then we loved each other.

[Hannah]

And then this morning was good.

[Grace]

This morning I was just like, you're perfect.

[Hannah]

And that's why I love cats. Because, like, you're almost. You respect her more because being like, I was disrespectful. I was disrespectful for four days. I want to earn your love.

[Grace]

I left you with, like, a plethora of men, like, rotating doors, rotating in and out of the apartment. Like, feeding you, petting you. You probably had no idea what was going on. And then I just come home, and I expect you to be, like, obsessed with me. And she was like, give me a freaking minute.

[Hannah]

Which is so page coded.

[Grace]

So page coded. You're not just coming into my life and, like, rearranging things. But the best thing was my brother was watching her over the weekend. And he calls me the one day and he goes, hey, everything's fine, Daphne's fine. And I'm like, what's wrong? And he's like, well, she's just like, really lethargic. I don't know if something's wrong, like. And I'm like, oh my God, what is she doing? And he's like, she's just like not getting up. And like, I'm calling her name. She's like, not looking at me. And so I like, look at the clock. And I'm like, it's 2:00. We're in prime napping time. No, call me when there's something actually important. Goodbye.

[Hannah]

Cats are cuddling from around 11 to 4, I would say, like, they're not moving, they're not doing anything. She also was partying the night before, running around doing whatever cat drugs she has. This tour is sponsored by Neutrogena.

[Grace]

I have to confess something. And Hannah's actually turned me into a new person. I can't believe I let her do this to me. But we no longer get glam when we're on tour. Doing it myself. I have to have the perfect base and that's why I love the Neutrogena Hydro Boost water gel.

[Hannah]

I actually don't use primer because my amazing makeup artist once told me that you really just need good hydration. So I always use it as my primer.

[Grace]

And the Hydro Boost water gel really is such a weightless hydration and it stays for 24 hours and we're flying multiple days in a row, so we need that 24 hour protection and we can both use it. And we have two very different skin types and it's suitable for all skin types.

[Paige]

Shop it [e-mail] this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holiday time can also be a cozy, comfortable time and I love doing things to make myself more comfortable, like getting fuzzy socks or being on the couch all day. And sometimes a good way to feel comfortable, especially during the holiday season, is therapy. I've talked a lot about having anxiety and therapy in recent episodes, and it's really helpful to learn positive coping mechanisms, setting boundaries, and it empowers you to be your best version. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. The holiday time can also be a stressful time. So maybe you were in therapy, you're not in it anymore. This is a perfect time to start up again. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com gigglysquad today to get 10% off your first month I have so many pictures on my phone and I just feel like you never see the light of day. Whether I'm not posting them or I'm just like not scrolling through them, that's where Aura comes in. Named the number one digital photo frame by Wirecutter, Aura makes it effortless to upload unlimited photos and videos directly from your phone, so your favorite memories are always within view. And whether you're doing last minute shopping or getting ahead of schedule, Aura frames make the perfect gift. Seeing a random, sweet photo or funny video can make anyone's day brighter. They're great for parents, great for grandparents, and also just great for people that you might not know what to get them. They can upload all their own pictures on their Aura frame. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get 35 off Aura's best selling carver Matte frames by using promo code Giggly at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code giggly this deal is exclusive to listeners, so get yours now in time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply. Giggling in Bed Brought to you by Mattress Firm. You know what I can't stand? When you're on an airplane and nobody's helping you put your luggage in the overhead luggage bin. Even though they see struggling and having to stop and take a gasp of air. It's my biggest pet peeve. And I always wonder like, how do these people sleep at night knowing that they're just the worst? And then I realized that Mattress Firm can help anyone sleep at night. Not only do they have premium mattresses, but they also have a 120 night sleep trial. Love your mattress or get your money back. You can sleep on your new mattress for 120 nights and if you aren't in love with it, you can just send it right back and get your money back. And if you see a lower price, Mattress Firm will match it. So now everyone can rest easy at night. Text Giggly Squad to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Exclusions apply. Get matched at Mattress Firm's Black Friday sale and slee.

[Hannah]

ATT customers. Switching to T Mobile has never been easier. We'll pay off your existing phone and give you a new one free. All on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com carrierfreedom to switch today, pay off up to $650 via virtual prepaid MasterCard in 15 days. Free phone up to $830 via 24 monthly bill credits plus tax. Qualifying port and trade and service on Go5G next. And credit required. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance and required finance agreement is due. Also, speaking of travel, you saw the woman who. With the Paris flight, who just, like.

[Grace]

Got on the Delta flight with no ticket.

[Hannah]

She broke onto the Paris flight with no ticket. I think it was Grace, and she was just going from, like, bathroom to bathroom. Okay.

[Grace]

After being on tour in a thousand different cities, the airport is made up.

[Hannah]

And accidentally breaking into an industry Indianapolis flight.

[Grace]

TSA is straight up made up. We broke into the airport in Indianapolis. Hannah almost got on with no ticket like that. I'm not kidding. That accidentally scared me. Accidentally when I said, how did she get through tsa? And Delta goes, we don't know that. Terrified. What are we all doing here?

[Hannah]

They said, gotcha.

[Grace]

No, TSA is a lie. The border is a lie. Like, there's no authority anywhere.

[Hannah]

Authority also, all you have to do is giggle, and they'll be like, oh, they're fine.

[Grace]

Yeah, it's just, like, crazy. No, that woman getting on the Paris flight is.

[Hannah]

I feel like when you're getting on flights, they're more worried about you having a purse bag.

[Grace]

I was just going to say that I've been stopped getting on the flight just because I have a mini purse that's, like, not consolidated. If I hear the word consolidated one more time in the airport.

[Hannah]

As you know, I literally almost got arrested. Arrested during a Southwest flight because of this. And I had to choke myself in front of the line. However, this is sexism. They're not factoring in that we come with a mini purse. A mini purse does not count as something that.

[Grace]

It's an extension of my body.

[Hannah]

It's extension for your body. And like, yeah, men don't have purses, so they just think in their head, oh, too. That was made by a man.

[Grace]

And you know what? All of his stuff in my purse.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

Yeah, in my purse. So why don't we split that purse up?

[Hannah]

When I go to. To the airport, I have my luggage. I have my backpack that then has, like, my makeup and my laptop, if I remember it. And some people would have a nice bag as you do. Yeah, like a big bag. And then you have your purse with your phone and your wallet. Your wallet and Grace's passport.

[Grace]

Your personal items and your personal items.

[Hannah]

That's called girlhood. That's called being a woman. But what I do, because, look, I don't follow the rules.

[Grace]

No, you don't.

[Hannah]

Gotcha.

[Grace]

You put your purse on first.

[Hannah]

So I put my purse on first, and then I put my backpack over my purse. Yep. And they've never got me once.

[Grace]

No, they really don't get you.

[Hannah]

They don't get me. And if they did, I would just be like, oopsie, poopsie. Yeah, but I'm not putting my little purse into my backpack that doesn't fit to. Then just take it out when I get to my seat to. Because they both fit. If they both fit under your chair. What are we doing?

[Grace]

I'm done with airports. I'm done with tsa. I'm done with planes. The last plane we got onto, it was all men in the aisle rows. And I'm, like, so tired and, like, struggling, and my arms are shaking, like, putting my luggage up, and I literally put it in the overhead bin. And I'm not kidding, I turned and I looked at all of them and I said, you should be ashamed. I mean, I didn't say that, but I gave them all looks.

[Hannah]

Yeah. There's. We've lost etiquette. We've lost the plot.

[Grace]

We've lost the plot. There's no airport etiquette.

[Hannah]

I'm freaked out. Have you heard about the meta smart glasses?

[Grace]

No.

[Hannah]

They're these glasses that you wear that really look like normal glasses, and it pans people's faces, and when you see the person, you can press on them and Google them and see like it matches their face. No. And that's where I'm at. That's where I'm at.

[Grace]

No, thank you.

[Hannah]

That's where I'm at.

[Grace]

No, thank you.

[Hannah]

I mean, maybe for dating it'll be good, but, like, anything that's, like. It feels so exposed. It feels so violated.

[Grace]

Being at just like, picturing being at, like, a bar and everyone's just looking.

[Hannah]

At you with the sunglasses and you're, like, you liking what you're reading.

[Grace]

Like, where. Where would that. In what situation would that be? Like, oh, thank God I have my. Thank God I have my spy glasses.

[Hannah]

Like, that's the thing.

[Grace]

In what situation is that, like, helping leave?

[Hannah]

We're the girls already spying like, we know what's going on. We don't need stupid fucking glasses.

[Grace]

Unless, like, it was for, like, the police.

[Hannah]

Yeah, the police should have them, but.

[Grace]

Like, I don't need one at Starbucks.

[Hannah]

No. Imagine a guy comes up to you, and he's like, do you have podcasts about, like, how sharks kill you? And you're like, yeah, that was a clip we did. And then he's like, cool. That's how you do it.

[Grace]

No, don't approach me. If you're a man, don't approach me.

[Hannah]

Also, if you're a man with stupid sunglasses out of Starbucks, don't approach me.

[Grace]

No, I rarely get approached, I feel like, by men. Unless, like, their girlfriends want a picture.

[Hannah]

I don't know. My algorithm thinks I'm.

[Grace]

I'm a lesbian. Mine thinks I'm a lesbian.

[Hannah]

No one said. No one said that.

[Grace]

I've gotten more and more that I give lesbian energy.

[Hannah]

Wait, no. I know for a fact that you could have, like, at least one relationship with a woman and it be, like, amazing, but then you'll go back to. Really? Yeah. Like, aesthetically, you'd see. You'd be like, I would like this. Like, for photos. I don't think she goes down on you all the time.

[Grace]

I don't. Here's the thing. As someone who is lesbian, he identifies.

[Hannah]

With the lesbian community way more with the gay community, the gay male community.

[Grace]

I could be a lesbian if we were just chilling on the couch and chatting. But that's just a friend.

[Hannah]

Would you be?

[Grace]

Well, I couldn't be a lesbian because of the sexual stuff.

[Hannah]

First of all, we are in a lesbian relationship.

[Grace]

Yeah. But we don't go down on each other.

[Hannah]

But you know what? A lot of lesbian. Gotcha. I was gonna say a lot of these lesbians, I don't know. But in marriage, don't you eventually stop. So are we just a married lesbian relationship? But you come in and you're, like.

[Grace]

Starting a sentence with, I don't know. A lot of these lesbians is so funny and amazing.

[Hannah]

I. No, I could see you. Okay. I don't want to. Like. Okay. You know Caitlin Carter?

[Grace]

Please don't put me in a box.

[Hannah]

Do you know Caitlin Carter?

[Grace]

Yeah, like one.

[Hannah]

She dated Miley Cyrus. And, like, I saw it. Question is, do you want femme or masculine?

[Grace]

Oh, I don't know what I would want.

[Hannah]

I think that's gay of you. The fact that you considered all. I think you're gay.

[Grace]

My instinct is I would want, like, a femme girl.

[Hannah]

Okay. Okay.

[Grace]

Well, if I went more masculine, like a girl. That was more masculine. Masculine, yeah. I've dated gayer men. Like, I. I've actually been with someone more.

[Hannah]

I think that's the thing, though. Lesbians, their whole thing is that they have the masculinity that I said earlier wasn't a thing. But then also, like, like, when two lesbians raise a baby.

[Grace]

Well, that's profound.

[Hannah]

It's.

[Grace]

That's amazing.

[Hannah]

The most incredible thing you've ever seen.

[Grace]

That's. I mean, the. Their apartment must be so. When I think of lesbians, I just think about, like, their apartment must be so tiny, tidy and organized.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Grace]

Like, everything must have.

[Hannah]

And everything's fixed.

[Grace]

Everything's fixed. Everything's in proper place.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, and they're cooking, but they're cooking like steaks.

[Grace]

They're cooking, but then they're cleaning up after they cooked. You know, like, they're not waiting for the next.

[Hannah]

They're barbecuing and making all the sides.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Do you ever see, like, a WNBA girl that you're like, wait, you can throw me around? Yes.

[Grace]

No. No. But there is one WNBA girl, but I don't know if she's actually out.

[Hannah]

Paige Buchers?

[Grace]

Yes.

[Hannah]

She's not out.

[Grace]

I'm obsessed with her, though. But, like, her vibe, I'm like, oh, she's like, has, like, swag. And I'm like, nervous, like, when I look at her, but, like, I don't want to date her.

[Hannah]

I know. You're so right. I'd be like.

[Grace]

But I also imagine I dated someone with the same name.

[Hannah]

Like the tailors.

[Grace]

The tail. Yeah.

[Hannah]

The Taylors.

[Grace]

If I went lesbian, I would only go lesbian with someone named Paige, which.

[Hannah]

Is so page coded.

[Grace]

And like, just think about, like, us as a couple. We're P squared.

[Hannah]

Wait, I love how this whole episode is just me calling you gay.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Wait, I have a question. Because your fingers are so long. Yep. Are dicks, like, smaller to you? Because, like, for me to get my hand around a dick, it has It. It could be small because I have little nubby fingers. Every dick seems huge in my hand. You could.

[Grace]

I really do have confidence in.

[Hannah]

You're literally holding a string bean with your fingers.

[Grace]

Oh, my.

[Hannah]

Have you thought of that? Like, you giving a hand job is. Does it get embarrassing ever? Because your fingers are folded over so much. You've, like.

[Grace]

You have like, I've wrapped around three times. No, but I once had a guy say that, like, my fingers are so girly looking and, like, my nails are always done that, like, he liked the way my hand looked.

[Hannah]

That's crazy. Never happened to me before. Yeah. Not once. Well, I. I always say you could be A hand model.

[Grace]

I could smelling hand job. Oh God, I'm so.

[Paige]

Wait.

[Hannah]

This is actually really good segue. The men are mad about only fans. Why? So girls are coming out being they're.

[Grace]

The only ones on it.

[Hannah]

The call is coming to the literally house guys.

[Grace]

You came up with it.

[Hannah]

Some girl came out and said she's making like $40 million a month and only a month. Did I make that?

[Grace]

No, I think a year.

[Hannah]

And the men are furious. But it's like this is just basic business.

[Grace]

Girls subscribe to her own people if.

[Hannah]

There'S demand and there needs to be supply.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Econ 101 that I didn't even go to. So why did I go full Sebastian 43 million in her first year. So the men are furious and this is my thing.

[Grace]

But you guys paid her.

[Hannah]

You're the ones paying.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Also I feel like guys used to make fun of girls for being strippers. And it's like now we're making money doing sex work that is safer in our own apartment and entrepreneurial.

[Grace]

I saw this quote that was like. I can't remember it like exactly now, but it was something where it was like women. Oh fuck. It was like women. If it's unconsensual, it's sexy. If it's consensual, it's just slutty. So like men like feeling like we don't want this and that's like seduction and like I'm gonna make her want this. But when we're like, yeah, give it to me. They're like, you're a.

[Hannah]

And that sounds. My therapist would say is you don't love yourself if the second the girl wants to fuck you, you don't want it.

[Grace]

Look, also like only fans is like going on to pornhub. But like they're just. They have a better pay situation. A better pay.

[Hannah]

They're doing their own production. It's just the girls are making more money on Onlyfans because it goes straight to them instead of getting like. I mean there are companies that do.

[Grace]

Onlyfans, I guess, but there's men on OnlyFans too.

[Hannah]

There are men making money on onlyfans too.

[Grace]

It's just the women are just smart enough like, no, I'm not paying for porn. You bunch of idiots.

[Hannah]

These fucking guys being like, I would never marry a girl who does onlyfans. I'm just gonna. She wouldn't touch you.

[Grace]

No, she wouldn't touch you.

[Hannah]

The guy she's fuckin.

[Grace]

She literally buy and sell you. Also like, she makes so much money. You would be a joke to her.

[Hannah]

Like these. If you have ever had to say out loud, I wouldn't marry a girl who does only fans. You've never met a girl who does only fans. Like, you're not even in the room with this level of girls. You're not even in her tax bracket. Exactly. But I think it's their mad that a lot of men, I think, don't like hot girls because they feel like they're already rejected before. That's what I was saying. I have your algorithm. They think I'm like a hot girl who likes white cats, who has a southern boyfriend because I keep. I send you anything that relates to you so it fully. So it sends me things like, are you a really hot girl? And did you. And I'm like, no. But they say how, like, hotter girls get approached less.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And how people can, like, be. And, like, I'm not.

[Grace]

Can I admit something to you that I don't think people would, like, ever really, like, imagine. I've never been truly hit on in my DMs, like, ever.

[Hannah]

Not even Charlie Booth?

[Grace]

No. Like, I've never had a man that I've, like, pre. Not previously met. Like, yeah, I've had, like, guys like, yeah, oh, I met him at a club. Or like, oh, he's a friend of a friend. Like, slide into my DMs and be.

[Hannah]

Like, you look whatever, but you love random guys. Be gross.

[Grace]

No, I don't. I don't have random men being gross and sending me sexual things. And I don't have anyone, like, ever shooting their shot in my dm. I've never had a guy that I've never met before who is like, anything that, like, I would potentially date DM me and say, like, let's go on a date or something. Never. Is that kind of crazy?

[Hannah]

I hate to say it. And I hate to, like, support pretty privilege, but, like, it's because I think.

[Grace]

My Instagram is not even anti men. But it's like, oh, this is literally like shoes, clothes, and like, Daphne.

[Hannah]

Well, the male gaze is a real thing. And you can tell as a man, like, Chris, can you tell when a girl's posting for men versus posting for girls?

[Grace]

Oh, yeah.

[Hannah]

Yeah. So, like, the girls who are posting.

[Grace]

My first shot is at my ass. Actually.

[Hannah]

You did. That was for. Who was that for?

[Grace]

That was for myself. That was for myself to be like, you're 32, but you still got it. But no, my Instagram very much gives girl. Like, for the girls.

[Hannah]

Yeah, for the girls.

[Grace]

Not lesbian, but for the girls.

[Hannah]

And you also look just, like, really mean. Rich, pretty and mean, which I feel like, good.

[Grace]

Don't fucking DM me. This is not a. This is not an invitation. This is me saying I like where it is. Keep it that way.

[Hannah]

Back in my single days, I was very, like, I was just chatty. I love to flirt, and it was like, sometimes guys would message me, but also I would message me.

[Grace]

I never really even, like, did that well on dating apps.

[Hannah]

I was very. I was active. Yeah, I was chatty, chatty, chatty. Like, I'd lose interest quick, but I'd also was quick to just say something funny.

[Grace]

And, like, I think, like, my whole. If I look at my 20s as a whole, like, how many years of that I was on dating apps? Like, definitely, like, more than two. I legit only went on two dates from dating apps math. Maybe three.

[Hannah]

I've gone on.

[Grace]

Yeah, no, I don't really, like, get that many match.

[Hannah]

I would say dozens. Well, you're probably crazy picky.

[Grace]

True.

[Hannah]

I mean, not that I was just like.

[Grace]

Well, because you want to know what? Dating apps actually used to make me really mad because sometimes I'd get, like, someone sliding in there, and I'd be.

[Hannah]

Like, how dare you?

[Grace]

How.

[Hannah]

In what fucking world?

[Grace]

Yeah, like, you just pissed me off. Like, in what world, sir? Like, that would annoy the shit out of me. Yeah, but, like, if you have the confidence.

[Hannah]

Yeah, I feel like I would just swipe on like I was. It's. The apps are so strange, but it is algorithmic and it is numbers.

[Grace]

Yeah, you have to.

[Hannah]

That's why it's like, I would just, like, I'd start talking. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Attention, attention. Dopamine. Dopamine. It's like a game. But, yeah, I'm so. I'm sorry that no man likes you.

[Grace]

I'm sorry you don't have a husband.

[Hannah]

But I was gonna say.

[Grace]

And no prospects.

[Hannah]

I'm working on a new bit because I feel like I know I'm funny because my husband's better looking than me.

[Grace]

Wait, you know that you're funny because your husband. I don't think Des is better looking than you. I think you actually are a very complimentary couple.

[Hannah]

I can't tell if you just dissed us or complimented us. Gotcha.

[Grace]

Gotcha. That's my whole personality. I don't know if Paige just insulted me and red meat tonight and be.

[Hannah]

Like, oh, it's so much fun. According to Paige. What does she. What does she mean by that. What did she. No, I think there's moments where, like, I glow up and I'm like, ooh, I'm fucking hot right now. Yeah. But there's moments where I'm like, he is so naturally good looking. Like his bone structure, like his cheekbones, like his nose.

[Grace]

Like, he's a naturally good looking man.

[Hannah]

But I've also always been. I don't know why I would. No, I've not always been pretty.

[Grace]

Oh, what's that like? Oh, no.

[Hannah]

Call the authorities. You're so Glinda coated. You have to. I'll watch it with you.

[Grace]

I haven't always been pretty.

[Hannah]

No, I'm gonna. I have to watch it with you. But then we might get kicked out.

[Grace]

Because you can't make a sound. No, I'm not gonna. I wouldn't even dare sing along.

[Hannah]

Yeah, but that's when we get our giggly fits.

[Grace]

No, wait, were you.

[Hannah]

No. So just saying that, like. Like, you have to have. I know. I have a good personality because I'm with a hot man. I think that was always why I liked hot men. To prove that I could be the man one. I could be the ugly, funny one.

[Grace]

But you're not the ugly, funny one.

[Hannah]

But that's my identity.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Am I the prettiest person you've ever met?

[Grace]

Yes. When I look away from the mirror. Yes.

[Paige]

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[Des]

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[Paige]

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[Des]

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[Hannah]

Did you see Jonathan Bailey and Wicked?

[Grace]

No. Did you?

[Hannah]

Cooper Koch. I have to get over.

[Grace]

We have to get over the gay men that are never going to bark up this tree. Okay. They don't care.

[Hannah]

No, they're actually.

[Grace]

They're actually repulsed by.

[Hannah]

The fact that they would be repulsed by me is again why I need therapy and why I'm obsessed with them. And when they put their stupid straight voice and they go, hey, what's up? I'm like, I come.

[Grace]

Yeah. No, they'd literally look at your vagina and be like, ew. Yeah. Now what was it?

[Hannah]

Oh, sorry.

[Grace]

Did you see Timothee Chalamet?

[Hannah]

Oh, with the sports.

[Grace]

Talking about sports.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

I don't know. One thing he said, it's, that's above my pay grade. I don't give a shit. But I couldn't.

[Hannah]

Was he acting like I didn't. Couldn't understand the bit?

[Grace]

Who knows? Don't care. I could not stop listening and watching him. There's something about a guy doing, I think because I'm so girly and I love doing, like, girl stuff, that when I see a guy doing, like, boy shit, I'm like, I'm obsessed with you.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's also, like, very New York of him. Like, he is just like a New Yorker.

[Grace]

He is just like a New Yorker.

[Hannah]

And he could put it. He could just talk like this. Yeah. He's going to win the Super Bowl. He's going to go this and win these games and whatever.

[Grace]

I was like, wait, and suddenly I'm pregnant.

[Hannah]

Him with a mustache. It's not Jacob Elordi bad.

[Grace]

No, nothing's bad. As bad as Jacob Elordi. Like, what? But I kind of need to call his mom.

[Hannah]

I love that he's lost some power.

[Grace]

Jacob Elordi.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I realize who my celebrity crush. It, like, has been like, I never, like, spoke it out loud. And I know he's not good for me.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Like, I know he's bad mood, bad news.

[Grace]

Let's say ours on the. At the same time.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Grace]

One, two, three.

[Hannah]

Christmas. You say Theo James. Who's that?

[Grace]

He's like this British guy that's in. He's in, like, a lot of random things, but, like, most recently, he was just in that HBO show. Oh, what's that one where they go away on vacation?

[Hannah]

Wait, he looks like Matthew Bomber. Are you sure he's straight?

[Grace]

He's straight.

[Hannah]

Okay. But that is.

[Grace]

He's so fucking. That's not even, like, a good picture. I know, but that's, like, him younger.

[Hannah]

No, no, he's. He's. But beautiful.

[Grace]

He's beautiful and he's swaggy, I feel like. And I think he's tall.

[Hannah]

Yeah, but that's not your type.

[Grace]

I know, but I like him.

[Hannah]

But you like them a little pretty. You like them aesthetically a little pretty. See, I like. I also like Dua Lipa's boyfriend.

[Grace]

Who is she?

[Hannah]

What? Who's Duh. Callum Turner or something? He's.

[Grace]

Is he, like, skinny with tats?

[Hannah]

No, he's like. He just looks like a guy who could take a punch.

[Grace]

See, I can't do anyone that, like, I. I like Timothee Chalamet, but I can't do someone, like, skinnier than me. One that'll send me into a tailspin.

[Hannah]

No, no, no.

[Grace]

Like, I don't want to be able to, like, snap you in half.

[Hannah]

Have I ever been with a skinny man? Oh, my high school boyfriend was, like, tall and skinny because, you know, like, they're. They're going through.

[Grace]

Yeah, they're going through a weird time.

[Hannah]

They're going through weird time where, like, they're just getting long. Yeah, but, like, it wasn't. It was definitely annoying. Like, he had a. He would do, like, accidentally do a skinny arm pose, and I'd be like, no, no.

[Grace]

I don't think I've ever dated someone, like, lanky. Not my brand. I've never dated, like, a tall, lanky guy.

[Hannah]

You love them sturdy. I love them.

[Grace]

I love them compacted. I Love them stout.

[Hannah]

Like, you want a thick baby. You want a little chunk. You want chonky one.

[Grace]

I love a chonk. I love a chonk. Because I'm like, this is the best day of your life.

[Hannah]

And, like, again, we're not trying to put dad bods on a pedestal, but there's something to be said about a man who's been working all day, so he's put on a little pouch.

[Grace]

Well, it's also, like, most of my life, my type has been either like, Italian or Jewish. And. Sorry, they're chong. I'm Italian, so I can say this, but I'm sorry. They like. Like, they pack a punch like they 100.

[Hannah]

I also. I do like Liam. I like. Aesthetically, I love Liam Hemsworth. Light eyes, whatever. And that clearly, he dims women's lights.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And not to pick sides.

[Grace]

Well, maybe. I don't know. I was never. Here's the thing. I'm gonna.

[Hannah]

Why is he single? That's what I'm confused about.

[Grace]

I've never been like, a Miley. Miley Stan. So I was never really as invested in their relationship. Relationship as other people. I like her, and I. I've. I like her more as I. We both get older. I didn't. I was too young for Hannah Montana. So I, like, feel like also whenever.

[Hannah]

I met anyone, they'd go, oh, like Hannah Montana. And I'd have to be like, yeah.

[Grace]

Oh, like, when you'd be like, hi, I'm Hannah.

[Hannah]

Yeah. I was really traumatized.

[Grace]

You should have been like, no, Hannah like banana.

[Hannah]

That's what I would say. Like, Hannah Banana.

[Grace]

That was first. Like, sorry, instead of Elvin or shelf, it's Hannah on eating a banana.

[Hannah]

Can we just talk about all the moms right now whose lives are being tortured by Elf on a Shelf, which I did dress up as.

[Grace]

I hope by the time we have kids, that fad's gone.

[Hannah]

I'm not doing Elf on the Shelf.

[Des]

No.

[Grace]

Well, you have to do it if everyone's doing it.

[Hannah]

But it wasn't a thing that. That we did growing up, and we're.

[Grace]

I know, but think about them going to school and being like, my elf. And then your kid's gonna be like, I don't have an elf.

[Hannah]

Elf's not real.

[Grace]

You're gonna be like, you have Snoop on a stoop.

[Hannah]

Wait, I love. Someone messaged me, and they're like, hey, I'm a mom, and I want to watch. Is it cake? Just want to know. Do you say Santa isn't real at any point? And I was. And I go, honestly, I don't remember what I said, but I'm. I don't think I said that.

[Grace]

Actually. When you have children, you. They're growing up and, like, you're doing all the Christmas stuff and you're doing like, you're sneaking around, like all the Santa's real stuff and all of that. That if your child gets to an age where they are still believing in Santa, will you tell them this is.

[Hannah]

Such a hard question.

[Grace]

Or like, are you. Are they. Is every mom just waiting for, like, them to find out on their own? Because, like, is there an age? Because I feel like there's an age where I like, all right, look, we can't have her be the freaking class. Like, we, we gotta let her know.

[Hannah]

I, I definitely. There have been people in my family who. It was like a little late, where it got a little awkward, whatever was like, hey, just let you know she still believe.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And we had to kind of like go with it. I just think there's a part of your brain at a certain age that you realize, like, oh, there's like, how.

[Grace]

Old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't real? If you have kids. Oh, my gosh.

[Hannah]

I don't remember. Sorry.

[Grace]

Turn this off.

[Hannah]

I don't remember the moment. I think it was. I think, yeah, it wasn't like a big deal in my house. I was just like, I don't care who gives me presents. Just give me fucking presents.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, it didn't need to be Santa, but I do. I have thought, like, why would I do that to a kid? Like, lie to them? But then I'm like, the magic it creates is so worth it.

[Grace]

Yeah. In a very truly page coded way. I remember I was in fourth grade. I was hearing murmurs. I was like, oh. All the kids are chatting about gossip. The gossip was so hot on the playground. The tea was teeing and Christmas was coming up. And I said, you know what? Let me do a little test. And I didn't put on my list this pair of leather pants that I wanted. I was in fourth grade. I was like, I need these leather pants. Didn't put them on the list. Like, that I knew was going to my mom. And in my head I was just like, I want these leather pants. And then when they didn't come that Christmas morning, I was like, something's up, something's up.

[Hannah]

My mom would write a note and be like, santa, whatever loves you and here's a cookie. Or I would write a note to Santa.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And then she would write a note back with a bit and cookie.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And when I found out Santa wasn't real, I was like, is this sneaky bitch been writing all those notes? Yeah, you've been writing the letter.

[Grace]

You're like, who's eating the cookies, you sneaky little bitch?

[Hannah]

I just thought my mom was like. I was like, you sly little fox. Yeah, because I think.

[Grace]

I think there are some kids that, like, now, like, I'm. I meet some adults, and I'm like, you seem like one of the kids that were in seventh grade. And you're like, no, he is real. And I can't have that energy around.

[Hannah]

But then there's also the weird energy of the kids who were young going around being like, well, my parents said, sam is not real stupid, and we just believe in science.

[Grace]

Well, fuck you, Sam. Like, fuck you, fuck you.

[Hannah]

That you don't have a happiness in your household. Well. And then, anyway, no, I do have to say, like, there is a moment, though, when you're a parent where you're probably, like, working so hard to get together and then your kids to just be like, thanks, Santa. And you're like, it was. Was. It was me. But I do think there's a point, too, where your kids become grateful that you, like, went above and beyond. I'm not doing the elf thing, but everything else to make them happy.

[Grace]

I'm gonna make you do that elf thing.

[Hannah]

The reason why I spoil my parents and my grandparents now is because of those mornings.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

That, like, they spoiled the. Out of me and the joy it brought. Like, I'll. That's. It was so important.

[Grace]

I actually had a moment this year at 32 years old, this is the first time I've ever decorated my own apartment with, like, Christmas stuff. And I was like, that's so crazy. Like, the past 10 years living in New York City, I just, like, haven't cared about, like, Christmas decorations. Don't need to put them up. It's not like I'm sad about it. I'm like, I just, like, don't give a shit. And one of my friends said, well, that's because you must have grown up in a household where your mom made Christmas so special that you don't, like, long for it. Like, you're just like, oh, I know when I go home, like, it's Christmas there. And I was like, wait, that's so true. Like, I've never felt like, oh, I'm not in the Christmas spirit. It's just like, no, my mom's gonna do It.

[Hannah]

My mom is.

[Grace]

My mom's doing it.

[Hannah]

Wow. I do have to say I saw Paige's house that she grew up in. No, I moved since like 16, but I saw your house for the first time we went to Troy, and I feel like I couldn't. I already thought I understood you too much. I couldn't understand you more. Like when you walked in, like, the aesthetic and everything, I'm just like, oh, this is what Paige gets. Her taste.

[Grace]

Walked into my bedroom and I said, it used to be my parents, but I made them trade me.

[Hannah]

Also, there's a couch outside your bedroom. And she goes, that's the waiting area. If people want to see me, just.

[Grace]

Come into my room. You have to be invited fully Miranda Priest. You have to be an invited guest.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God. It was. It was amazing. And Kim spoiled us with all the food. But I really feel like you can't be really close to someone without seeing the house that their parents live in or that they spend some time in.

[Grace]

No. Oh, my God, no.

[Hannah]

Yeah. I feel like there's moments that I've like stopped liking a guy. When I went to his house.

[Grace]

Oh.

[Hannah]

And I saw the vibes.

[Grace]

I feel like every boyfriend I've ever had, I'm like, oh, gotta go.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like you're. You're making up. Like, you just see the tip of the iceberg. When you go to his parents house, you see the iceberg and what they built.

[Grace]

Well, because so many people, it's such like a mixed, you know, and it's like, oh, when you marry someone, you marry their family. But then other people are like, don't go by the family. Like you're marrying the person.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

I very much go by the family.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

And I've even stayed with boyfriends too long because I'm like, off. But I love his mom. Like, I'm obsessed.

[Hannah]

No, I know, but I've seen something like a dad has done before and been like, that's literally going to be him naturally. And that's a no to me. Also, like, sometimes, you know those guys who just like, tell their mom to shut up and like, roll their eyes and you, like, never saw that side before and you're like, oh, because you want to fuck me.

[Grace]

There was only one relationship I ever had. And I saw the dad and the way he talked to the mom and like, how the mom, like, reacted. And I remember sitting there and just being like, oh, I will never be in this family and I have to break up with your son literally tomorrow. Because that just terrified me.

[Hannah]

Yeah. I think the. A lot of gigglers probably have dated guys whose moms are, like, outgoing, fun, funny, strong women, because that's most. If I see the mom and the mom is similar to you, I feel like it's a really good sign. Yeah. Because it's like, he respects her. He respects you. You guys are similar.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I think that's, like, a good green flag to look for.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Not to be too positive on googly squad. Oh, Jag. This was from a couple weeks ago, but I thought it was important to bring up because you're the aesthetic queen. Jaguar. Or as they say in Europe, Jaguar.

[Grace]

Is that how they say it?

[Hannah]

Jaguar. Jaguar changed their logo. And, like, I don't think anyone's ever been passionate about a Jaguar logo before. The Internet is up in arms. They're so mad about it.

[Grace]

They're really upset about it. I don't care. Well, they made it very, like, Gen Z. They made it look like it's literally like a fizzy drink brand.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God.

[Grace]

Yeah, it looks like it, like, will get you fucked up if you bring it back. Like, a six pack does not give luxury whatsoever. And Jaguar is, like, a luxury car. But I feel like Jaguar is not that big in America as it is.

[Hannah]

It's not. And I think they're trying to go really? And make it be, like, more electronic vehicles, like EVs. And maybe they're trying to look more, like, for the future, but also, like, we don't care. And I'm sorry I brought it up that it's okay because, like, no one.

[Grace]

No. But I think it is an interesting topic with, like, how many brands are changing their logos to be, like, more plain?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

And it's like, I like a good logo.

[Hannah]

My final thought.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Is there was a meme that said, why is there nothing funnier than your friend saying a word wrong? And I realized that's our entire podcast. It's just me and you trying to put words together and not doing it and then calling it a day.

[Grace]

I feel like one of my earliest memories of you. Is this real or is this you or someone else? I'm gonna say it, but I'm pretty sure it's you. I feel like. Were we ever walking down the street one day and you tried to say the word espadrille, but you said the word esmeralda. Was that you? I feel like it was. And it was, like, the funniest thing that's ever happened to me in my life. And I was like, what you just said, and you're like the she's wearing as.

[Paige]

As Morel does.

[Grace]

I think you're trying to say espadrille.

[Hannah]

And that is Giggly Squad. The one. Oh. Shout out to Burner Phone. If you guys aren't listening to Burner Phone, you should. It's basically Giggly Squad. But if DEZ corrected me, it's as.

[Grace]

If I had knowledge. It's Giggly Squad, but the second co host is knowledgeable.

[Hannah]

Yeah. If you enjoy Giggly Squad or highly recommend you listen to Burner Phone, we have also an exciting announcement. Tour 2024 is done. But we're not done. We're not done. We are announcing the new show's added pre sale goes up on Wednesday, December 11th at 10:00am with the code GIGGLY. Nashville, Tennessee. And you thought we were going to forget about you. New Orleans. St. Augustine, Florida. Where we don't know where that is, but it's going to be good weather. And Hollywood, Florida. Tacoma, Washington. Portland, Oregon.

[Grace]

I almost lost my virginity in Hollywood, Florida. Keep going.

[Hannah]

Portland, Oregon for some granola Vegas, because how could we not? And then ending with our Mormon sisters in Salt Lake City.

[Grace]

So excited to go to Salt Lake City.

[Hannah]

I know. I'm so excited. It's actually like lit like everyone's just up on.

[Grace]

Maybe we'll stay out there and like do a little ski vacay. We won't ski, but we'll go.

[Hannah]

Okay, I'll do that. But I'm not skiing. I retired. I've announced my retirement. Even though the Olympics keeps your job.

[Grace]

I literally just want to get put the outfit on, get a picture and go.

[Hannah]

No, it's literally perfect. Also, I released some we write a Don merch. Check it out right now. Hannahburn.com and go watch Paige on Amazon every week forever for the rest of. For the rest of her life. We love you guys so much. Thanks for giving with us. Talk to you later. Bye.