Giggling about our favorite moments of 2024

Summary

Giggly Squad Episode Summary: "Giggling about our Favorite Moments of 2024"

Release Date: December 24, 2024

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Welcome to this festive episode of Giggly Squad, hosted by Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo. In "Giggling about our Favorite Moments of 2024," Hannah and her co-host Grace dive deep into their most cherished and humorous memories from the year, blending sharp wit with heartfelt reflections. This episode is a treasure trove for both regular listeners and newcomers, offering a blend of pop culture commentary, personal anecdotes, and unabashed laughter.

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1. Celebrating the Year with Humor and Roasts

[01:37] Hannah Berner kicks off the episode with a burst of energy, expressing excitement about reflecting on the year's funniest moments. She shares news of her upcoming Netflix special, "Torching 24," a roast of the year featuring renowned comedians like Jeff Ross and Sam Morrill. Hannah enthuses, "I put together a set roasting the year of 2024. So make sure you watch that." (01:37) This segment sets the tone for the episode, emphasizing their penchant for humor and satire.

2. The Art of Gossip and Storytelling

The conversation swiftly moves to the significance of gossip in modern society. [03:02] Grace O'Malley passionately defends gossiping, stating, "And it's really good for our brain because we hear something, we have to remember it, and then, you know. So really, we're just fighting dementia each day." (03:04) Hannah adds, "Gossiping is how we take down the patriarchy." (03:27) This duo highlights the empowering aspect of sharing information and storytelling, portraying it as a tool for communal strength and resilience.

3. Navigating Relationships and Modern Dating

A substantial portion of the episode delves into the complexities of modern relationships. Hannah and Grace humorously dissect the behaviors commonly found in dating scenarios. For instance, Hannah muses about the confusing technology in others' homes, remarking, "Why are TVs so complicated? No, why do you need seven remotes?" (08:09) Grace responds with relatable frustrations about navigating unfamiliar gadgets, leading to laughs over the absurdity of everyday technical mishaps.

They also explore the dynamics of gender roles within relationships. Hannah provocatively states, "People say that men are more logical than women, but they actually just lack empathy." (08:53) Grace counters with a humorous take on how emotional expression is often misinterpreted, emphasizing the double standards faced by women in showcasing emotions.

4. Personal Anecdotes and Quirky Habits

Hannah shares quirky personal habits, such as her extensive collection of Delta headphones. She jokes, "I have, like, hundreds of Delta headphones." (05:43) This leads to a playful exchange about plane etiquette and the humorous side of free merchandise obsession. Grace adds her own anecdotes about social interactions and the humorous side of personal insecurities, such as misplacing items or dealing with unexpected life events.

5. Reflections on Mental Health and Self-Care

The hosts touch upon mental health, discussing how anxiety and emotional struggles are navigated in their lives. Grace opens up about coping mechanisms, saying, "I just have to be with something else and just, like, have hope and listen to someone." (55:27) Hannah and Grace support each other's vulnerabilities, highlighting the importance of friendship and mutual support in overcoming personal challenges.

6. Cultural Commentary and Pop Culture Insights

Throughout the episode, Hannah and Grace sprinkle in sharp cultural commentary, often referencing current events and pop culture phenomena. They discuss trends like AI in network security, the evolution of shopping habits, and the absurdities of modern consumerism. For example, Hannah humorously comments on the overuse of AirPods, "If you use an Xbox controller to turn on your TV, you will get chlamydia." (05:30) This blend of pop culture insights with their unique comedic style keeps the conversation lively and engaging.

7. Friendship Dynamics and Shared Experiences

The heart of the episode lies in the dynamic friendship between Hannah and Grace. Their seamless banter, filled with inside jokes and playful teasing, showcases a deep bond forged through shared experiences. They reminisce about past interactions, such as attempting past life regressions and enduring awkward FaceTime moments, highlighting the strength and humor that underpin their friendship.

Grace shares a memorable story about their visit to Salem, Massachusetts, where they humorously debated their supposed past lives. Hannah recounts, "We definitely were witches that were burned at the stake in a past life. Cause if you weren't, you were a fucking loser." (39:45) This lighthearted narrative demonstrates their ability to find humor in historical contexts and personal quirks alike.

8. Concluding Thoughts and Looking Ahead

As the episode wraps up, Hannah and Grace reflect on the year's end, expressing gratitude and anticipation for future adventures. They humorously discuss their absence from certain social engagements, emphasizing their unique approaches to friendship and social expectations. Hannah quips, "If you're listening and you're still on the fence, think about yourself." (53:09) This closing remark encapsulates their empowering message of self-awareness and individuality.

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Notable Quotes:

• Hannah Berner [01:37]: "I put together a set roasting the year of 2024. So make sure you watch that."

• Grace O'Malley [03:04]: "So really, we're just fighting dementia each day."

• Hannah Berner [08:53]: "People say that men are more logical than women, but they actually just lack empathy."

• Grace O'Malley [05:30]: "If you use an Xbox controller to turn on your TV, you will get chlamydia."

• Hannah Berner [39:45]: "We definitely were witches that were burned at the stake in a past life. Cause if you weren't, you were a fucking loser."

• Hannah Berner [53:09]: "If you're listening and you're still on the fence, think about yourself."

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Conclusion:

"Giggling about our Favorite Moments of 2024" is a quintessential episode that encapsulates the essence of Giggly Squad—a perfect blend of humor, honesty, and camaraderie. Hannah and Grace's ability to navigate through a myriad of topics with laughter and sincerity makes this episode both entertaining and relatable. Whether they're roasting annual events or sharing personal quirks, their dynamic ensures that listeners are both amused and emotionally connected. This episode not only celebrates the highs and lows of 2024 but also reinforces the power of friendship in finding joy amidst life's chaos.

Transcript

[Farnoosh Torabi]

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[Paige DeSorbo]

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[Hannah Berner]

Gary, fix the WI fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. Okay? It's that time of year. We put together all our favorite moments. And by we I mean Grace. She really went through like a needle in a haystack and found all the Gold from 2024. All the moments that made you giggle the most. And I also have to say that we have a surprising drop on Netflix. I went to LA to shoot Torching 24, a roast of the Year with Jeff Ross and Sam Morrill, Mark Norman, Tim Dillon and Ms. Pat. And I put together a set roasting the year of 2024. So make sure that you watch that. It comes out on December 27th on Netflix where I roast the year. Watch it. Let me know what your favorite joke was and we'll talk about it in the upcoming episodes of Giggly. I'll give you all the jokes that maybe didn't make the cut. Thank you guys so much for another amazing year. Giggling with you guys is our favorite. Okay, sorry, that was corny men try to get women to stop gossiping back in the day because it was sharing information so they would know what's going on. So gossiping is how we take down the patriarchy.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I'll stand by gossiping until the day that I die, as long as.

[Hannah Berner]

It'S honest and pure and truthful.

[Grace O'Malley]

And she is a fucking bitch. That can be a fact. It's also really good for our brain because we hear something, we have to remember it, and then, you know. So really, we're just. We're fighting dementia each day.

[Hannah Berner]

You're. When you live life, you're supposed to have something happen to you, and then the fun of it is telling your friends, your friends and reflects you on and be like, what just happened to me? Am I insane?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, we're storytellers. Sorry for entertaining. I feel like I can't go to a basketball game without spending at least one whole period of it being like. And then they make this into an ice skating rink. You know, like, every time it blows my mind. I'm like, and then they can do concerts here, too. Isn't that crazy? Like, I'll never get over it. I'm like, but where is the ice right now? Where's the ice right now? Is it melted? You know, like, I'm always asking the question.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't want to know logistics. Like, I don't want to know how the sausage is made. I want it to be magical. Walt Disney.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is it underneath the court? Where is it at this exact moment?

[Hannah Berner]

Where are you hiding the hockey players? Where are they sleeping?

[Grace O'Malley]

Where are the Rangers team? Do they sleep here?

[Hannah Berner]

Why are TVs so complicated? No, why do you need seven remotes? You can't to turn on a TV.

[Grace O'Malley]

You can't go to someone else's house and just turn the TV on.

[Hannah Berner]

Is it not insane that if it's not your own tv, you don't know how to work it?

[Grace O'Malley]

Have you ever been to a boy's house when there's also, like, a rogue Xbox controller? They're like, use this. I'm like, why are they.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm like, how do I use that?

[Hannah Berner]

If he uses an Xbox controller to turn on his TV, you will get chlamydia.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, 100%.

[Hannah Berner]

You will get chlamydia.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's texting multiple other guys and he.

[Hannah Berner]

Won'T go down on you.

[Grace O'Malley]

If he says, here, just turn it on with the Xbox controller. Grab your things and get out. Did you know that when alligators are killing you, they spin you around okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Could have lived without knowing that.

[Grace O'Malley]

They bring you to the bottom of the water and they spin you around, and that's how you die.

[Hannah Berner]

Bite off my head. Like someone with fucking empathy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Go to therapy.

[Hannah Berner]

The things alligators will do.

[Grace O'Malley]

Instead of going to therapy, it's like, okay, guys, it's a bit dramatic. You have crazy teeth. Just bite. You don't have to do a whole performance art now.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm like, team Sharks. No, I'm like, justice for sharks.

[Grace O'Malley]

They're like Chomp and Sia. They're like, I have things to do also.

[Hannah Berner]

Sometimes they'll just bite you, and they don't even care to kill you. They're just like, ooh, that didn't taste good.

[Grace O'Malley]

They also can't see, so they're probably like, sorry, I didn't know.

[Hannah Berner]

They're like, oh, my God, I'm gluten free.

[Grace O'Malley]

Imagine you get bit by a shark and it throws it up. It's just like, ew. Take your leg back, you vegan.

[Hannah Berner]

It's like, you didn't even enjoy my fucking flesh.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's your headphone of choice?

[Hannah Berner]

So I collect Delta headphones. So I have, like, hundreds of Delta headphones.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, hundreds.

[Grace O'Malley]

When you get on a plane.

[Hannah Berner]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

You put the Delta headphones in your ears and you connect it to what?

[Hannah Berner]

The tv. And if there's no tv, we're sleeping.

[Grace O'Malley]

No headphones in.

[Hannah Berner]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

There's technology now that, like, you never have to hear the sound of an airplane ever again. Like, when I fall asleep, I'm not listening to anything.

[Hannah Berner]

I need noise to quiet my own thoughts. I don't want to be sitting in silence. That's the scariest thing you've ever said to me.

[Grace O'Malley]

So you get on a plane most of the time. Raw dog.

[Hannah Berner]

Raw dog. Wait for her or he to walk.

[Grace O'Malley]

Around and say, does anyone need headphones?

[Hannah Berner]

Does anyone need headphones? And I always go, yep. And then I say, thank you. Because regardless, I like free shit. If it's. I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take it. I will put the amount of Delta headphones I have in my bag. Is crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is a wild revelation.

[Hannah Berner]

And then I love a fresh new pair. You pull it out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Every time she walks by and says, headphones. Headphones. In my head, I always think, who the fuck is getting on the plane without headphones?

[Hannah Berner]

People are like, I love throwing dinner parties. What is that life like that you a love to socialize? You're like, you know what would make my life better? If I Had to cook, decorate, invite people over, and then clean after. That's my nightmare.

[Grace O'Malley]

Having people over to my own home to socialize.

[Hannah Berner]

It's dirty. Get out. It's get out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, what if I hit a moment where I was like, mmm, and I want everyone to leave right now?

[Hannah Berner]

I watch HGTV right now. It's like a weird phase I'm going through, but I'm obsessed with it. And they'll be like, what kind of house are you looking for? And they're like, we love to entertain. And I'm always like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Block party on the corner. Like, all these kids running around the yard.

[Hannah Berner]

It's basically a child parade.

[Grace O'Malley]

You'd have to literally drug me, tie my hands behind my back, drag me to that fucking block party. A party on your street that you live on with all the other people that live on that street.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I have to bring up the elephant in the room. I showed up with a tie, and I think I went a little too business formal. Like, 80s businessman. Like, coffees for closers. But I do have to say, see.

[Grace O'Malley]

I feel like you're giving news reporter. Like, high school sports news reporter. It's like, assistant volunteer, dynamite.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, you know, Brandon is killing it today. I wish I had a son. I realize having a tie, I know how it feels like to be a man.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like assertiveness.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, it feels like I have a dick.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, I feel like I was putting on my coat and I'm like, oh, gotta put my tie in. And, like, I don't want to be flinging around. I have to keep it.

[Grace O'Malley]

And. Sorry, I have things to report to.

[Hannah Berner]

I know how it feels like to wear a dick. Because suddenly everything I say, you're like.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're all of a sudden overexpo. Everything, you're like, paige, I don't know if you know the word finance, but let me tell you about it.

[Hannah Berner]

I feel like an alpha man. And I'm like, are you going to talk to me while I have my fucking tie on? Like that. Do you not see my fucking tie?

[Farnoosh Torabi]

Expect the tie, and then you just.

[Hannah Berner]

Want to, like, flip it around, hit people with it. Dude, thank God I don't have a dick. People say that men are more logical than women, but they actually just lack empathy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Interesting.

[Hannah Berner]

They are just literally not thinking about how other people are feeling as much as we are. So they're not logical. They're actually just psychopaths.

[Grace O'Malley]

I really wish you didn't say that last part because.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh. Because you are.

[Grace O'Malley]

I feel like. Like that I just feel as a woman, I'm not as emotional as some. I think there's, like, a scripture of everything to.

[Hannah Berner]

Last episode, when she was crying, going, I've been so emotional lately.

[Grace O'Malley]

I was so emotional this weekend. Like, I was tearing up that people were being mean to JoJo. This is a.

[Hannah Berner]

First of all, she just wants to dance. Oh, yeah, let her dance. She's.

[Grace O'Malley]

I have a question for you.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't have AirPods. Is that what you're asking?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, but I don't know what's wrong with me.

[Hannah Berner]

But, like, I don't trust them.

[Grace O'Malley]

In what capacity? Do you think the government's, like, in your brain?

[Hannah Berner]

No, not at all. Do you know, like, WI fi doesn't really work?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Bluetooth, like, doesn't work a lot. So I'm like, I just don't believe it works.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wait, you're reasonable.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I don't think it works. And I've never tried it, but I don't think it works. Do you ever feel like it's my connect to the wrong person and you'd be like, hello?

[Grace O'Malley]

Never. Not one time.

[Hannah Berner]

Not one time has it been like, a man. Just like, hey, you know when the radio station's a little off, it's just an alien. They're like, well, greetings, Earthlings. Like, what?

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like, hey, I'm in 13C if you want to come back here.

[Hannah Berner]

When the AirPods first came out, their PR wasn't good. It was like people were holding it.

[Grace O'Malley]

AirPods came out 20 years ago.

[Hannah Berner]

No, when they first came out and, like, guys were walking around with their AirPods, and they were, like, yelling with their AirPods. Everyone was like, okay, you're a fucking loser. Like, oh, you have AirPods? Like, what, are you selling stocks 24 7? Chill out, okay? And I think I just never got past that. I was like, I'm not a dick. I don't wear AirPods. And then, like, one day I looked around and everyone was wearing AirPods. I think I joked with one of my friends, it was like, AirPods are for fucking dicks. And then, like, I'm still in the corner joking about it when everyone's like, no, we all use AirPods. No, I. I thought AirPods was going to be like, threads on Instagram.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You thought they were going to die down?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, I thought it was, like, a thing. And then we were going to be like, okay, we all lost it. And then it's a Tic Tac. I'm going to lose it. Gen Z's are Just shaving their butthole.

[Grace O'Malley]

For the first time.

[Hannah Berner]

No, like. Cause they're just eating ass.

[Grace O'Malley]

That is one thing that I will never. I'm not reciprocating. Don't ask me. I'm a lady. That's when I become a nun. I'm like, you want me to what?

[Hannah Berner]

God forbid he delicately puts his tongue on your booty.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, no. He can do it to me. I would never do it to a guy. Ever. Ever.

[Hannah Berner]

Honestly. That tracks for you.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's like, I don't even want to be down there.

[Hannah Berner]

You're like, I'm a star. I'm the talent. I'm the talent.

[Grace O'Malley]

But also, I think that's the crazy thing off. Because I've never been asked.

[Hannah Berner]

I've never had a guy try to like, really choke me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Interesting.

[Hannah Berner]

Cuz I don't give off that energy.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you talk a lot. You would think they're like, I'm finally in here. Shut the fuck up.

[Hannah Berner]

The only time I shut up is when Butter falls asleep by my mouth.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll be living my normal life and I'll think, oh, my God. And some people do this plus have a baby, you know? And I'm like, that's crazy. So, like, sometimes during the day, I'll be like, okay. Would I have been able to get all of this done and have a baby?

[Hannah Berner]

Well, yesterday Ludacris came out. And naturally, every single millennial stood up. And it came to us like, out of nowhere. Like, I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, but I remembered every lyric to Ludacris. Ye person. Yeah. And everyone's messaging me like, oh, my God, my kids and my husband were so scared. And I was like, I scared Butter? No, it's realize I don't suffer from jet lag.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because you're well traveled.

[Hannah Berner]

Because I'm always tired. Yeah. So I don't know if it's jet like or tired, but I'm used to it. I'm like, I woke up exhausted and I'm like. And that's called the morning.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

And then it was 4pm and I was exhausted. I go again. That's called the afternoon for me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

It's called depression.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I think we have depression. No, like a nutrient deficiency.

[Hannah Berner]

I know, but what is that nutrient? We're not trying to find it. You know, people are like, well, have you cut gluten? I'm not strategically cutting out parts of my diet for a theory.

[Grace O'Malley]

If you're saying to me the. The few words have, you just know it's not. Have you? Nope.

[Hannah Berner]

Haven't you want to discuss your nails? Because I actually liked it until I saw my face. It's giving chicken cutlet, and you're not gonna be able to see it.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's not what I was saying. Of all the qualms, that wasn't one of them.

[Hannah Berner]

Asking for a French manicure is a loaded question.

[Grace O'Malley]

My thing is just like, if you're gonna freehand the white part, make sure you're better than me. Make sure you're better than me, honey. My other qualm was she fucking cut me with the nail file. And I was like, fine. That happens. Like, whatever.

[Hannah Berner]

Assault.

[Grace O'Malley]

Literally. I was like, I've just been shot. I'm bleeding.

[Hannah Berner]

Just been shot.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm, like, bleeding out. I'm like, it's a Sunday afternoon. I'm bleeding out. No.

[Hannah Berner]

I once fully lost a whole section of skin, and it was gushing blood, and I was like. And you have to be like, no. I literally was like, actually, I felt so good. Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

She literally kept. She kept putting alcohol on it. I'm like, don't worry, it's not infected. It's just throbbing. And the size of your mouth.

[Hannah Berner]

How many times are you need to put salt on the open w. Like.

[Grace O'Malley]

You can literally see my pinky nail throbbing and red. I'm like, if you could stop touching it, that'd be great.

[Hannah Berner]

Put the gasoline on it and lights it on butter.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's like, you don't need your pinky nail anymore.

[Hannah Berner]

She just cuts off your finger. She goes, perfect.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's like, sorry, I just nicked it.

[Hannah Berner]

Perfect. Top 15 most attractive hobbies for men to do.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would love to see this list.

[Hannah Berner]

Because hobbies in general, get a second job playing an instrument. Is there any. Is there any instrument that guy plays that you'd be like, that's kinda hot.

[Grace O'Malley]

The recorder.

[Hannah Berner]

Actually, the fingers would be kinda hot. I'm like, oh, he's fast. No, This I can agree with. Cooking.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

But I don't want them to talk about that. They do it. I just want them to do it. Woodworking.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no. Let the Amish have one thing.

[Hannah Berner]

And if you are a woodworker, you're a nepo, baby.

[Grace O'Malley]

If you give me a birdhouse, I'll throw it in the dirt.

[Hannah Berner]

Painting?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no. Painting is for me and my iPad.

[Hannah Berner]

Swimming. I like it because it tires them out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I'm not mad at that.

[Hannah Berner]

Go swim. Archery. What is this, Medieval Times?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm actually not mad about it.

[Hannah Berner]

Old money.

[Grace O'Malley]

It is giving a Little bit old money.

[Hannah Berner]

It's giving old money. You have to have, like, a lawn.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's giving, like, quail hunting.

[Hannah Berner]

Finally traveling. That's not a hobby.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's not a hobby.

[Hannah Berner]

That's not a hobby.

[Grace O'Malley]

Get jobs.

[Hannah Berner]

Get a job.

[Grace O'Malley]

Figure it out. I watch Saltburn. Whoever made this movie is sick. The people sick. It's. I feel like I can stomach a lot of things. Like, I'm not kidding. Like, if it's sexual and it's deviant, I can sit through it. I can watch it. Like, I'm like, okay, yeah. Big, big whoop. It's like, I thought it was going to be, like, when people were like, fifty Shades of Grace. It's so crazy. And then I watch it, and I was like, that's a Tuesday. Chill the out. Like, it's not that crazy. Saltburn is sick.

[Hannah Berner]

I think it's my favorite movie of the year.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're sick.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm sick. Like, I'm not, like, crazy in the bedroom or anything, but, like, I will enjoy cottage cheese. And that's like a different. That's, like, the kind of sickness I am. I feel like we're opposite.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're, like, completely opposite.

[Hannah Berner]

Like a man. If a man spits in my mouth, I'm calling the police.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you're like, that. That's really bad.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, horrible. I told you. If a guy accidentally pulls my hair cause he, like, we're turning it around, I'd be like, ow.

[Grace O'Malley]

But you'll eat Chipotle from the night before that hasn't been refrigerated. Like, and you'll be like, whatever. It'll make me stronger, you know? That's where we're opposite.

[Hannah Berner]

Find a tuna fish sandwich on the ground and eat it. Guys, walk. Like, you have to pick a side of the leg that it's just, like, hanging on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I mean, have you literally ever Googled a picture of Jon? Ha. Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

I should do it daily. Yeah, I do. It's my background. Wait, but, like, I would feel so imbalanced. Like, not that my laby is perfectly symmetrical, but like.

[Grace O'Malley]

But I feel like men don't even have that. Like. Like, I'll freak out if my sleeve of my arm is caught in my jacket. I'm like, I can't move. I'm on gum bait, you know? Like, I feel like they don't notice that shit. They're like, oh, my dick is tucked into my sock. Accidentally. Like, shoot. You know? Like, they don't know things. Yeah, I feel like winning the super bowl is, like, kind of an ick. Like, okay, don't be the best. It's kind of gross.

[Hannah Berner]

It's like, oh, you beat up all the other boys.

[Grace O'Malley]

Also, here's another thing. All football coaches have to look the same.

[Hannah Berner]

Is that, like, a criteria?

[Grace O'Malley]

Because literally, they're showing the coach. And I was like, I thought he coached the judge.

[Hannah Berner]

No, that was an AI Football coach.

[Grace O'Malley]

Everything was giving AI last night.

[Hannah Berner]

People are like, how could he yell at his old coach in his face?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

This is a man who. The testosterone levels are so high.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

That his brain cells are fully just zapped. And for a living, he gets pushed around and hit in the head. He's a human gladiator. The fact that he didn't beat the shit out of his coach is actually a miracle.

[Grace O'Malley]

If a woman shows an emotion at all specific while doing her craft or, like, whatever, it'd be like, this is why women don't run the country. I mean, you're so emotional. I mean, that's crazy. But he did it. And they were like, oh, he's just passionate about his sport.

[Hannah Berner]

And if Taylor Swift sang Viva Las Vegas when she won album of the year, everyone would be like, this is a medical emergency. Visiting hours are over. Bring her back to the ward.

[Grace O'Malley]

Austin Butler is somewhere being like, excuse me, excuse me.

[Hannah Berner]

People are joking that Taylor Swift is gonna, when they break up, write a song called Viva Las Vegas. I found myself on Amish TikTok.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm surprised the Amish don't do more Amish retreats.

[Hannah Berner]

Imagine that's the next brand trip.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's giggly times Amish. Grab your bonnets, ladies. All the big influencers, like, rolling out dough.

[Hannah Berner]

Hey, what's the coupon code for this dough? But I think they don't.

[Grace O'Malley]

Where'd you get that? Churn?

[Hannah Berner]

You know what we need? The Real Housewives of Housewives of Amish.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll go to Pennsylvania right now.

[Hannah Berner]

Where the fuck is it? I want to know the gossip, too. Like, you're like, did you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Did you try Becky's butter? It was so bad. Becky can't churn butter to save her f. Ing life.

[Hannah Berner]

No. Her churning technique is so embarrassing. It's so cheeky.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's been making those same cookies every year. Like, think of something else.

[Hannah Berner]

Also, like, she's been doing braids for, like, so long.

[Grace O'Malley]

Out of New York. We're done with the braids, Becky.

[Hannah Berner]

They're like, oh, my God. Did you hear which him Becky picked out today? Like, that's so last year.

[Grace O'Malley]

Becky, like, says she believes in God.

[Hannah Berner]

But she likes top 40.

[Grace O'Malley]

She also tried eyeliner the other day. So, like, I don't know.

[Hannah Berner]

No, literally. But, like, are you Amish people end formal education at the eighth grade.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love it. I'm going, so did you.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. Most successful people are unmarried women.

[Grace O'Malley]

No. There's a legitimate statistic that when men and women get married, the men's.

[Hannah Berner]

The men get more successful, their quality.

[Grace O'Malley]

Of life goes significantly up, and ours goes significantly down. Like, and that's just science because. Yeah. They are now moving into a home where, like, everything's clean, everything's aesthetic. Like, there's a refrigerator with, like, more than just ketchup. And so, like, their minds are blown. Where, like, we get in that situation and we're like, towels don't go over the door.

[Hannah Berner]

I do have to say. Cause I can't be fake. Maybe it's, like, my form of feminism. I've decided that I'm gonna take on the male qualities of, like, I don't cook. I put the towel on the door. I take my clothes.

[Grace O'Malley]

You put the towel on the door.

[Hannah Berner]

I mean, it's lucky if it gets to the door. It's on the floor. I take my clothes off wherever I'm standing, and I leave it. I eat food and I leave it. It's like this empowering thing that I do where it's like, it's not my job.

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Hannah Berner]

Cause guess what? Mom was working.

[Grace O'Malley]

You've never given me anxiety, and that's why you're my best friend.

[Hannah Berner]

We're anxious together.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, we're in our own.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm not making you anxious. You're not making me anxious. And then, like, 10 minutes later, we'll.

[Grace O'Malley]

Be like, yeah, like, if in anything, you make me less anxious. That's why, like, I was so mad at you for the White House.

[Hannah Berner]

You make me less anxious. Cause you don't care.

[Grace O'Malley]

Exactly. And put it on my tombstone. I don't care.

[Hannah Berner]

No friends that care too much. I'm like, you care more than I care about myself.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I'm like, why don't you just write me a life plan if you're gonn to care this much? Like, yeah, no, we don't care.

[Hannah Berner]

I feel like men after breakup will just go with the next girl because they don't want to process the emotions, and they need a girl to make them feel good. Where when a girl's in a breakup, she's like, I'm getting new hair, whole new personality, new gym, new wardrobe. Going to an Ivy League school to get a new degree.

[Grace O'Malley]

Might even move like.

[Hannah Berner]

And I really do believe you always level up after these traumas 100%. That's why I'm so profiling. Like, failing makes you so much stronger.

[Grace O'Malley]

One Cornell Brown Easy way that I like to, like, see my progress in life is you go from who your first boyfriend ever was to then who was your next one and then, like, you just keep going.

[Hannah Berner]

Was your favorite. So what do we do?

[Grace O'Malley]

We were just kids.

[Paige DeSorbo]

So we've been on tour for about a month now. And it's not gonna lie a little bit hard to stay healthy on the tour. If you haven't heard of the supplement brand that everyone's talking about, you guys need to check out Symbiotica. I started putting vitamin C packs in my Stanley because, whoa, I love my Stanley and I don't want to get sick during the tour or this fall. And Symbiotica is a brand that I really trust. It's formulated with the highest quality ingredients out there and they are transparent about how and where they source ingredients to ensure you're getting the best product possible. It really does add something extra to my Stanley because I feel like I'm being really healthy while also being really healthy drinking that much water. Their formulas don't have any seed oils, preservative toxics, artificial additives. They have so many other supplements for you to explore. My favorite is definitely the vitamin C packs. So feel more energized, alert and balanced with high quality supplements that work. Just go to symbiotica.com gigglysquad for 20 off your order. That's symbiotica.com gigglySquad for 20 off your order. Giggling in Bed Brought to you by Mattress Firm. The holiday season is obviously full of joy and holiday spirit. But there are certain things about the holiday season that can really just annoy you. Like walking into a store and realizing that everyone has taken all of the gifts and you are left over with socks and candles. And maybe it's your fault because you've waited so long, but it's also the people's fault that took everything. Do you ever wonder how those people sleep at night, leaving you with just leftover candles and socks? Well, it's Mattress Firm upgrade to the luxurious rest you deserve with their premium selection of top brand mattresses. They offer a premium selection of mattresses so that you can get your best sleep ever. You can also rest easy with Mattress Firm's 120 night sleep trial. Love it or your money back. Get matched up Mattress Firm's semiannual sale and clearance and sleep at night. Text giggly squad to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm restrictions apply. See mattressfirm.com or store for details. If you live in the Northeast, then you know the feeling that nothing kills your will to go to the gym like walking out and it's dark and it's cold and you're in your cozy bed. That's why you have to get Aloe Moves. Alo Moves is a health and wellness app that brings your best workout to the comfort of your home. There, yoga, Pilates, strength workouts. From beginner to advanced, they have everything. You can start with a guided program or you can try a new type of workout. And whether you have a full hour to work out or just five minutes, Alo Moves has a class to fit your schedule. And it's more than just fitness. There's also meditation, sound, bath, nutrition tips, self care tutorials. So obviously it's no surprise that Alo Moves is an award winning app. It's so easy when you're on the go. We've been on tour and like sometimes Hannah and I just need to stretch and Alo Moves really does come in handy. So go to alomoves.com and use code Giggly20 for an exclusive 30 day free trial plus enjoy 20% off an annual membership. That's alomoves.com code Giggly20 for a 30 day free trial and 20% off an annual membership. Alomoves.com code giggly20.

[Farnoosh Torabi]

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[Grace O'Malley]

Natalie Nick Vile's wife.

[Hannah Berner]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

She said something and she was like, oh yeah. And then I flushed my tampon and the girls were like, what? Wait, yeah, I'm flushing the tampon. No one's ever told me no, you've.

[Hannah Berner]

Been exploding pipes nationwide.

[Grace O'Malley]

I didn't know. I thought the signs at different restaurants and places like don't use feminine products, I Was like, oh, they have bad plumbing. I just thought they knew their plumbing was weaker.

[Hannah Berner]

No, See, my mom, like, terrified me where she was like, if you put this in the toilet, the whole house will implode. No.

[Grace O'Malley]

I feel like no one ever told.

[Hannah Berner]

No. My mom was like, everyone will die.

[Grace O'Malley]

No. Like, I'm not worried about it for a fucking second. Literally. I've gone this long, nothing's happened. I've never heard of a toilet blowing up. I've never heard of them shutting down because feminine products. I think we're fine. I think it's something that the men gaslit us about. They're like, we don't want it near us.

[Hannah Berner]

You know what I think it is? You know when you have your period, you go through like 100 rolls of toilet paper. I think it's a toilet paper business who's like, roll up the toilet and put it in the garbage.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yep. Non conventionally hot men. They're calling it rodent boyfriend Summer.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm just kind of sick of like, when men are ugly. Them getting rebranded into a trend.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, I.

[Hannah Berner]

Why can't we do that for girls? Why can't be like long torso Kinkle.

[Grace O'Malley]

Cuties.

[Hannah Berner]

Double chin divas.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's never greasy hair girl Summer. It's never like slightly depressed, possibly anxiety.

[Hannah Berner]

Sweaty, dehydrated girl.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sexy Summer.

[Hannah Berner]

We grew up with like, dad bods being cool, which is basically like, hey, all the lazy guys can be. You drink too much beer are hot. The PR on the men's side is so good. Which is crazy because PR I thought was a woman run business.

[Grace O'Malley]

They're coming for hot girl Summer. Like, all of a sudden it's a hot rodent boyfriend Summer. No, I was with Summer was our thing.

[Hannah Berner]

But also, I think we're in on it. We have internalized misogyny. Like last.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I literally last episode.

[Hannah Berner]

We thought Dr. Pepper was a man. We assumed. And I apologize.

[Grace O'Malley]

I blamed my period instead of blaming my boyfriend this week.

[Hannah Berner]

But I think what the truth is is that most women actually don't care what men look like. We just want them to be nice.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I will be arrested at one of my children's schools. Like, there is just no way my kids are gonna be born, go all the way through high school and I'm not gonna be like, Ms. Desorbo, you can't come to the field today. Like, you're a problem.

[Hannah Berner]

There's a restraining order.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll fight a kid. Like, I would have no problem kicking a 6 year old if they were mean to My daughter in, like, first, second grade.

[Hannah Berner]

I started to be kind of naughty, and then I'd get in trouble, and it was all about getting to my mom before the teacher could get to my mom. Do you remember that? No.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's an extra sport.

[Hannah Berner]

And he starts walking and I'm like, let's go, mom, we gotta go. We gotta go home. We gotta go now. I got a lot of homework. And they'd be like, Ms. Burner, Ms. Burner, can I speak?

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, fuck, Mother fucker.

[Hannah Berner]

Don't believe anything she says. She's crazy. Don't believe it. And my mom's a teacher, so she always took the teacher aside, okay?

[Grace O'Malley]

I had a Kim who was not a teacher. I cheated so bad. I cheated so fucking bad on a project. High school, we had to make a brochure in Spanish. So you know what I did? I went on a hotel website in Spain and I printed out their brochure and I handed it to her and I said, here you go. She calls my mom. She was like, paige obviously cheated. Like, she couldn't have written this. And my mom goes, how do you know? Prove it. How do you know she didn't write it? Prove it. Then later, I said to my mom, I was like, I did cheat. She goes, I don't care. She's not gonna call me.

[Hannah Berner]

You said the reason you decided to get a cat finally was because. Do you wanna tell them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, filling out all these poking questionnaires that, like, Hannah's making me fill out and I free. I'm starting to freak out when I'm about to press send for the email because I'm like, they're going to email back immediately and, like, give me a cat. And then all of a sudden, I'm locked into this fucking cat. And I was like, I can't do it. And then I had a thought and I was like, no. Hannah is literally my most incapable friend, and she's had a cat for eight years. Like, I'm like, I've been to Hannah's apartment. I'm fine.

[Hannah Berner]

Calling me incapable is so on the nose. I'm the kind of friend that, like, you're nervous for an event, you call me. You're feeling down on yourself, you call me. If you're going to the airport and you forgot your passport, you're not calling me. You're not calling me. No.

[Grace O'Malley]

In a pinch, you have to be somewhere in five minutes. And, like, bring a document.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I'll get the wrong thing. I don't know how to drive. But it's so true.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's a major thing. You don't know how to drive. That's huge.

[Hannah Berner]

Honestly, if someone's like, hide the body, I don't think you ask me. I think I have too big of a mouth. I also don't know how to hide a fucking body. Honestly, the admin of hiding a body?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I would never ask.

[Hannah Berner]

I'd be like, wait, where should we dig? Like, I feel like I would.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'd voice note you.

[Hannah Berner]

We have to cut it whilst.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because I'm like, you're never understood.

[Hannah Berner]

You go, hey, can you help me hide the body? I go, I'm on my voice roused before we get to your big news, which I'm edging.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is this embarrassing? But I just learned what that word means on TikTok.

[Hannah Berner]

Edging?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

How'd you find out?

[Grace O'Malley]

I looked it up. I kept, like, getting tiktoks and they were like, saying the word edging, and I was like, what the fuck is that? I did nothing.

[Hannah Berner]

What is your definition of edging?

[Grace O'Malley]

I didn't think. I didn't know it was sexual. Thought it was something to do with landscaping. That's hedging. And so I had to Google what edging was.

[Hannah Berner]

What is your definition of it? As she takes a swig of water to ponder.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, you build yourself up, and then right when you're about to come, you don't.

[Hannah Berner]

But then I think you can also use edging in, like, normal shit. Like, I think I edge a lot in stories. Like, it's like, get to the fucking point. Oh, okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Like, you build up the momentum.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. Like, I'm edging your announcement.

[Grace O'Malley]

Got it. Got it.

[Hannah Berner]

I was trying to shut up and go on voice rest for, like, two days.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, you sent me more voice notes than you ever have in your entire life. Wait, was that true? I thought you were just saying that as, like, a bit. Were you legitimately trying to be on voice?

[Hannah Berner]

No, it's my new thing. Just tell people you're on voice rest if you don't want to talk to them.

[Grace O'Malley]

I legit. I was like, oh, she must have something, like, really intense.

[Hannah Berner]

I told four people I was on voice rest.

[Grace O'Malley]

In context, this is how Hannah told me. Hey, do you want to come to my house this weekend? I promise I won't even talk to you. You can literally sleep in another room. I'm on voice rest anyway, so I won't even talk. I'm like, last seven seconds. Seven seconds.

[Hannah Berner]

If you don't want to talk to someone, just say, I'm a voice rest. Or if you want to really lean into the character, put it on your nose and just raise it.

[Grace O'Malley]

When they ask for what, what's your response? You're just like, not at this time.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, it's easier for me because they know I'm a performer.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I mean, I believed you.

[Hannah Berner]

Anyone could go on voice rest. Like, do you have meetings?

[Grace O'Malley]

Imagine you sent in, like, the newsletter one week and was like, sorry, I'm on boys rest.

[Hannah Berner]

I can't write this essay. Because you want to voice. No. Singers get, like, really serious about it. And, you know, I.

[Grace O'Malley]

And like, a lot of people say, like, the most narcissistic thing you can do is have a child.

[Hannah Berner]

It is selfish to have a child because it's for you. It's not for them. They need to.

[Grace O'Malley]

You want something that looks like you, acts like you, and, like, is you walking this earth. We have enough yous.

[Hannah Berner]

I also realize that we are on the board of the childless Cat Ladies community.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're there. We're the exact demographic he's speaking for.

[Hannah Berner]

We're kind of the forefront of the market. Also, what are the. We didn't sign up for it, but here we are.

[Grace O'Malley]

What are the chances? I got a cat like, four days before.

[Hannah Berner]

I think you pissed him off.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think I immediately was like, he.

[Hannah Berner]

Goes, they're taking all our women.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, as the president of single cat women, I will speak for all of us. How dare you?

[Hannah Berner]

I thought we both act like we're single.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know, but you're married. Which, like, it's like, you don't have to talk about it.

[Hannah Berner]

But the truth. I don't have a boyfriend.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, you don't. You don't.

[Hannah Berner]

Everyone lost their virginity half at first, right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

I think if you go full on the beginning, you're not okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

You should call your mom because you got some.

[Hannah Berner]

Virginia, call us some more.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I feel like. Like every girl was like, oh, no.

[Hannah Berner]

No, no, no, no.

[Grace O'Malley]

Maybe next weekend. Like, I'm just like. I feel like it kind of hurts and like, maybe next weekend. I feel like I used to do that all the time.

[Hannah Berner]

I still do that. I still do that. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Actually, no.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, it's fucked up because we're experiencing, like, oh, whatever happens, I am losing something. Like, I'm losing this, like, innocent side of me where men are, like, gaining.

[Grace O'Malley]

Respect and experience something.

[Hannah Berner]

Chris, after you lost your virginity, was there a moment where you were, like, where I went to all of my friends? I'm not a little boy anymore. And I'm.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'M a man.

[Hannah Berner]

And I just, like, lost being pure. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, what is a guy's perspective?

[Hannah Berner]

I went to all my friends and they were like. We were all like, yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I feel like I dated a lot of guys in New York City that couldn't fix things, and I got the ick. I was like, if I can fix it and you can't, that's, like, grossing me out.

[Hannah Berner]

The thing is, for me, like, if a guy's too handy, I don't like it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, you don't want them to have a tool belt.

[Hannah Berner]

No. That turns me off. Like, if he knows too much about toilets, I'm like, what it?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, get in it. Yeah, let me put your head in there.

[Hannah Berner]

Can I come for something right now?

[Farnoosh Torabi]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I know I'm adult right now because I did search for a sconce. I don't know how to put a sconce up.

[Grace O'Malley]

You need an electrician, and that's where they lose me.

[Hannah Berner]

Where do you get an electrician?

[Grace O'Malley]

Being handy is very important to me because I would put myself on the handier side of the spectrum.

[Hannah Berner]

You go to push the bar, and.

[Grace O'Malley]

She'S like, oh, my drill bit. I definitely have a drill bit. A drill bit?

[Hannah Berner]

What's a. Oh, a drill bit. What is a drill bit?

[Grace O'Malley]

Sometimes you got a drill thing. You want that painting up? Yeah, I can fuck it, and I'll put that up on the wall. Like, I have a level. Like, I have. I can do all of those things.

[Hannah Berner]

You saw my place. I literally. Literally just have paintings against the wall where I want them to go up.

[Grace O'Malley]

I could come over and fix this.

[Hannah Berner]

Men fixing things is important because they break a lot of things.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

No, but, like, what else they should know? What are they doing? Some people read books, which I'm very impressed by.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm so proud of them.

[Hannah Berner]

But I was thinking, who's reading more? These people who read books or me putting captions on every TV show? Closed captions? Am I reading more? Does that count? No one talks about it, but bitch has been reading.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm so glad you're bringing this to the forefront, especially during this time in our nation. The country is divided right now into two very distinct groups. People that love subtitles, and then it's people that are so purely enraged by them. I identify as a subtitles person.

[Hannah Berner]

DEZ said he did that in China when he was learning Mandarin. He put it. So you're, like, learning English?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm learning my first language again because.

[Hannah Berner]

I actually think we miss a lot.

[Grace O'Malley]

So Many shows we know.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, we are avid bookworms. This is actually the best question I've ever gotten. If we were both kidnapped together, who would they kill first? For sure. Me.

[Grace O'Malley]

100%. Hannah. Because she's vocal. She is. She's pointing out where they messed up, who's coming to get them. I've been paralyzed with fear.

[Hannah Berner]

You're going to fall asleep. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would have my narcolepsy.

[Hannah Berner]

And I also feel like I'd try to be a hero. Like, I'd be like, I got this.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll.

[Hannah Berner]

I know what to do.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you would.

[Hannah Berner]

And they would back up.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would be like, please don't say that.

[Hannah Berner]

If they were gonna keep one of us alive, it would be you, because I'm a. They'd be like, that one's sweating. This one's not sweating at all. And it's like 110 degrees.

[Grace O'Malley]

This one we could fold up in this locker room.

[Hannah Berner]

This one's not flexible. Her hair is very greasy. She's giving a stench.

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Hannah Berner]

You would pretty privilege your way. Where they'd be like, we need that one.

[Grace O'Malley]

You'd be like, be in love with them.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You'd be like, what if we just dated?

[Hannah Berner]

You'd flirt your way.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'd flirt my way.

[Hannah Berner]

He'd be looking at me, and I'd be like, I'm gonna kill you. And then you look, and he'd be like, is.

[Grace O'Malley]

Paige is so weird, isn't she?

[Hannah Berner]

You would eye fuck him?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I would try and pull out whatever I could.

[Hannah Berner]

We went to Salem, Massachusetts, because we wanted to see where all the witches were killed.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was partly what we were expecting, and then partly totally not what I was expecting.

[Hannah Berner]

We went in so excited. We were like. We definitely were witches that were burned at the stake in a past life. Cause if you weren't, you were a fucking loser.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yep.

[Hannah Berner]

Paige goes, let's do past life regressions. This is gonna be fun.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's clear the energy, clear the air.

[Hannah Berner]

Were we best friends? Was I a princess or a ballerina? I was like, I think I was an Amazonian woman. And she was like, no.

[Grace O'Malley]

So we start with Hannah's. And you.

[Hannah Berner]

She was like, do you like bright colors? And I was like, I think so. And she's like, okay. I think every person you were in a past life was a man. And I was like, no. Why? I was like, what kind of man? And she goes, a flamboyant British gay man who was very rich, just prancing around.

[Grace O'Malley]

She kept saying the word dandy.

[Hannah Berner]

Dandy.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I was just like, what the fuck is that?

[Hannah Berner]

And his wife was miserable because he didn't love.

[Grace O'Malley]

And he was.

[Hannah Berner]

He was just, like, having anal all over England. And then I'm like, okay, do Paige. Just. Paige just started. Do Paige.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's like, you're. You were so sad all of your lives. You were very poor, just sad. And she was like, but your saddest life is you had, like, so many children, and unfortunately, they all died. And I'm just like, jaw on the floor. I'm just like, okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Meanwhile, I'm being gay. And she's like, your kids didn't even die of cholera. Like, it was a sniffle. Like, it was. Wiped them all out. And I'm envisioning myself with a banjo. Like, I'm loving life.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, Hannah's, like, has a top hat, Is, like, prancing through the streets with a cane, kissing men in, like, alleyways.

[Hannah Berner]

And she was like, you love being a mom, Hannah. You love being a bottom. But then you're like, okay, let's move on. Did we know each other? Were we best friends in every life?

[Grace O'Malley]

Maybe my gay bestie helped me through the drama and, like, gave me some money and, like, helped me out, and she was like, yes. Oh, my gosh, you did know each other. Hannah stole all your money. And, like, so I have no kids, no prospects. I'm about to croak, and I'm homeless.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm using your money for dildos the rest of the day. Like, whenever we, like, made fun of Paige, she was like, my children died. Like, I didn't do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

My kids perish.

[Hannah Berner]

And then whenever you made fun of me, I was like, please don't be homophobic. Like, please keep your homophobia to yourself. We FaceTimed this weekend both. I know. I think you know exactly what I'm gonna say. But, like, we were fully in mid conversation. You got up to go to the bathroom?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I got up to plug my phone in.

[Hannah Berner]

You're gonna plug your phone in? And I lost ya.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, my phone.

[Hannah Berner]

I lost ya. And there was, like, two seconds where I waited to be like, is she coming back? And then I. I hung up and I said, and that's that. And true, friends, once your FaceTime gets disconnected, the moment's over. You're not texting and being like, are you good? Are you alive? Are you. No, we're done. That's how the conversation ends. If that's how it ends, that's how it ends. We didn't talk for the rest of the day. Not even a goodbye.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Nothing like the holidays to bring that time of treating yourself. It's cold and gross outside, so why not wrap yourself up in something cozy with Quince? Something everyone needs in their closet in my opinion, is Quince's Mongolian cashmere sweater. I'm obsessed with getting their cashmere sweaters. I have this navy blue one that I love so much I bring it on every single plane I go on. They start at just $50 and Quince is able to do that by partnering directly with top factories and cutting out the cost of the middleman, passing the savings on to you. Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. And of course that's why they can bring you premium fabrics. They really have that luxe factor and they even have these gorgeous Italian leather handbags, washable silk skirts and European linen sheet sets. So treat yourself this winter without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com giggly for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com giggly there's nothing I love more than staying inside on the couch and ordering takeout. But then sometimes I get into a mood where I'm like I need fresh air on my face, I need to have a vegetable and also I feel that same way about my skin. Like I need to have good products going on my skin immediately. The Honey Halo moisturizer is exactly what I think it would feel like if I actually took their honey and made moisturizer going on my skin. It just feels so dewy and lightweight and just healthy going into my pores. Also with so much travel I feel like I need something that doubles as a really good makeup primer and moisturizer and you can feed your skin with farm fresh ingredients from Farmacy. Farmacy with an F is a brand combining rich farm grown ingredients with clinically proven results. Their best selling Honey Halo Moisturizer sources pure honey from a family operated bee farm in California and they combine it with ceramides to instantly hydrate and lock in moisture for a gorgeous dewy glow. It truly is so buttery and it absorbs so quickly. It's like your skin just drinks it and it feels just so hydrating and moisturizing you kind of just get this dewy, glowy tint to your skin. The pharmacy is different because it uses real ingredients like apples, honey from the bees, papaya and of course they use sustainable packaging. So drench your skin in honey hydration. Visit pharmacybeauty.com and use code giggly for 20 off your order. That's 20% off your order at F A R M A C-Y beauty.com with code giggly.

[Marc Maron]

Hey, it's Marc Maron from WTF here to let you know that this podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. And I'm sure the reason you're listening to this podcast right now is because you chose it well. Choose Progressives name your price tool and you could find insurance options that fit your budget it so you can pick the best one for your situation. Who doesn't like choice? Try [e-mail] and now some legal info. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Hannah Berner]

I was really late to shave my legs because someone told me, like, once you start, you can't stop. You do it cuz you're hairy. So I was like, I'm not gonna start. It's like people were like, you have the hairiest legs I've ever seen.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you remember, like, when you couldn't, like, girls like, weren't allowed to shave their thighs? I mean, you still abide by that rule.

[Hannah Berner]

No one said you should start shaving your thighs. So when you start, you just shave. We just shave our shins because we're not that hairy on our thighs.

[Grace O'Malley]

I always thought that it was like moms didn't let girls do it because your thighs are like more sexual to make it like sensual.

[Hannah Berner]

To like, so the hair can block the penis.

[Grace O'Malley]

But I was so hairy in like third grade, my mom was like, shave it all.

[Hannah Berner]

Do you remember the first time you heard your friend was wearing a thong? You were the friend. You were the friend.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I don't remember.

[Hannah Berner]

I remember my friend being like, I'm wearing a thong and me being like. Like, I thought she was going to the strip club. How does the thong that has multiple strings become sluttier? Yeah, like it has more fabric but looks insane. Like, what are girls doing with that? Yeah, like every time I meet a giggler, I'm like, you are gorgeous. Yeah, well, I can tell when they're a little more Paige than Hannah. Like, this girl was actually page coded.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's so funny because when the Hannahs come up to me, that's the first thing they say to me. They're like, we get it. Like, we're not your vibe. And I'm like, I didn't even Say anything. We're at a bodega. I don't even know what's going on right now.

[Hannah Berner]

My favorite is when the gigglers come up to me with two of them, and one of them goes, she's my Hannah. And then some girl comes up like, hey. And I'm like, me and you, girl.

[Grace O'Malley]

She, like, walks out from the bathroom, and she's like.

[Hannah Berner]

And it's always perfect. I'm like, this is perfect. Whoever has a slick back bun. I'm like, you're Paige. And they're wearing bows.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, it's actually like, no, you can spot them.

[Hannah Berner]

And in a second, Grace wrote something funny. She wrote, how do you answer the phone?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, if I know the person, I say, hi.

[Hannah Berner]

Do you know what moms love to do? They go, this is she. Does your mom do that? Moms live for that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Why when someone professional calls, moms are immediately on the cast of Bridgerton. Is it she? I am Lady Sorbet.

[Hannah Berner]

Imagine. I'm going, can I speak to Hannah? There's a she.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's do our customer service voice. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

[Hannah Berner]

Hello?

[Grace O'Malley]

So here, boy. Who is that bitch?

[Hannah Berner]

Who is that? I don't know. Her name is Beverly.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, my turn.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hello?

[Hannah Berner]

Why is it so high pitched?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, mine's really high pitched.

[Hannah Berner]

You act like you're nice. A phone call means I have to talk business with you. A FaceTime means something fucking insane happened. And a voice note means just keeping up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, just keeping up.

[Hannah Berner]

This woman said that women are only physically attracted to 4% of men.

[Grace O'Malley]

Spot on. Spot on.

[Hannah Berner]

You ever have those moments where you're, like, trying to figure out if you're gay or straight?

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, I feel like I did have that moment in college when I was, like, started watching girl on girl porn, and I got, like, really scared. I was like, wait, no, I'm gonna have to tell my mom that I'm a lesbian.

[Hannah Berner]

Straight girls like girl on girl porn. I don't know if lesbians like girl and girl porn.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would assume they do because they're doing it in real life. So I would assume that they're down with it. But, like, I get that we as straight girls, we watch it because we're like, they're safe. Everything's fine. They can't get pregnant if they don't want to be. Like, everything.

[Hannah Berner]

They're braiding each other hair.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, they're gonna, like, take a nice nap after.

[Hannah Berner]

Like, keeps asking her, like, are you. Are you hungry?

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you want to snap so, like, I get that.

[Hannah Berner]

I think it's because I'm not attracted to any man who would do porn. So once the man gets it, I'm like, I don't want to fuck him.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I always feel like you don't pick your porn. Like, you're attracted to what porn picks you. No, literally, it does. I feel like porn picks you. Like, you don't pick. Pick what gets you off. You just see it, and you're like, oh, and now I like that. Walking into anywhere. I think we should start saying, what's the energy I want to bring to this.

[Hannah Berner]

To this function?

[Grace O'Malley]

To this function?

[Hannah Berner]

Do I want to ruin everyone's day?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, because you should also plan. Like, people are like, okay, now be nice, but also sometimes plan to be me.

[Hannah Berner]

Normalize. Not always bringing good energy to the function. Some functions need a balance of bad energy. Well, let's discuss the energy you brought to the function at my premiere party.

[Grace O'Malley]

That energy was wackadoodle.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm not a big partier. You guys know that. But if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

And my mistake for not realizing that you were doing it.

[Hannah Berner]

So I see you. You look like a feral cat. Scared. Need to find a hiding spot.

[Grace O'Malley]

So scared.

[Hannah Berner]

I look at you, and I'm like, you're here. I'm so happy. People are like, where's the photos of Paige? I was like, there's one of you scurrying out. There's one of a panic in your eye, clearly being like, how do I get out? But this is true friendship. People are like, where's Paige? And I'm like, she came. We made eye contact, and she left.

[Grace O'Malley]

She had to go. Hannah and I got invited to the White House. Hannah and I got invited to the White House.

[Hannah Berner]

I thought it was a bit. I thought we were Ashton Kutcher was pranking us.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I was like, and you want to know what? I appreciate the recognition from the White House. Because they were like, look, we're in a pickle. We're in a real bind. Who can save the country? We should call the giggly squad. You know, like. And I respect it.

[Hannah Berner]

Who at the White House is a giggler?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's what I'm trying to think. Because I'm rude. There's a girl there who's just typing away, and she's like, what if I just added them to the list? I have bills to pass.

[Hannah Berner]

You're like, the poof is back. It's a woman's initiative.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Hannah Berner]

What are you Going to initiate just like, Vibes, probably.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I think we should focus on vibes for 20, 25 and, like. Or 20. Probably both.

[Hannah Berner]

What year are we.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sorry.

[Hannah Berner]

Do you think in a past life you were a president's wife?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I think in a past life I was, like, part of Parliament in some. Like, someone's wife in parliament. Like, I feel like I lived in Europe.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay. Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I didn't fuck with the Declaration of Independence.

[Hannah Berner]

Maybe it was, like, royal, maybe like a prince, maybe. Maybe men are not natural born leaders.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, we could go as far back as Adam and Eve. Okay. Because Eve got the apple, gave it to Adam. Why didn't Adam get his ass up and look for his own apple? Military. All men, pretty much. They're taking orders from other men. They love taking orders. They love being told what to do.

[Hannah Berner]

Because men are dogs, women are cats.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so if someone.

[Hannah Berner]

I would just say, if you're listening and you're still on the fence, think about yourself.

[Grace O'Malley]

Now we really sound like a cult.

[Hannah Berner]

Think about your.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're on the fence of believing us or not.

[Hannah Berner]

If you still don't want to buy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Our Tupperware for 19.99, we're gonna slash that price right now.

[Hannah Berner]

Think about your mom and dad. And someone has a key to the nuclear weapon. Who are you giving that key to?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, God, my mom. First of all, my dad's losing it, okay? The man doesn't even have an email address. They wouldn't even be able to give it to him.

[Hannah Berner]

Why do. Whenever you go anywhere with your parents, your mom has a whole duffel bag for what everyone needs. Your dad doesn't even have a wallet.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, he has a clip.

[Hannah Berner]

No, he's running the world with a clip. I don't think so.

[Grace O'Malley]

My dad has a rubber band.

[Hannah Berner]

Our nation is being held on by a rubber band.

[Grace O'Malley]

Literally a thread. You humbled me so badly this week that I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I was, like, complaining about an array of things in a voice note, and I said to Hannah, like, whatever. I'm just, like, really anxious and emotional. It's probably because I just got my period. And Hannah listed everything that was wrong in my life. I mean, there were like. And she just went down a list, and she goes, no, but it's definitely your period, for sure. And I was like, you know what? I have to apologize to all women. But the men made me think that Hannah was like, maybe it's because you're on one of the most insane reality shows your boyfriend's in a public feud. You don't leave your apartment. You have. You have debilitating anxiety. But, yeah, broke her jaw. Grace literally chucked yourself down the stairs.

[Hannah Berner]

Blame your poor period, who's just, like, a woman in the arts trying to, like, exist.

[Grace O'Malley]

I literally haven't been here for a year, and you're already complaining.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm like, also, what was the excuse? But when you couldn't get your period for the last two years? Right. But the second she comes back, we blame it up. But you know what? That's part of girlhood is that whatever happens, you go, but I don't know. It's because I'm on my period. Even if you're not on your period, my period was either two weeks ago, a week after. I don't care it had happened.

[Grace O'Malley]

Girls really get one week where they can, like, know what their personality truly is. And that's like that. It's really. It's a. It's hard think about.

[Hannah Berner]

But we're also normalizing that men are hormonal. That's horrible.

[Grace O'Malley]

What a way to piss them off.

[Hannah Berner]

When a guy punches a wall after, like, he's. The sauce runs out of control.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wait.

[Hannah Berner]

Imbalance.

[Grace O'Malley]

Talk about a way to really piss off your boyfriend. Like, if he does something. And, like, with a straight face, you're just like, are you hormonal?

[Hannah Berner]

I also love when men get emotional. They act like, oh, sorry, I was emotional. Everything I said didn't. But when girls are emotional, they're crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. There's just so much wrong that was layered and it's not the way it's with me. The TikTok Dance documentary, I think, because.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm, like, kind of adjacent to the cult community, so it comes up on my algae. Ew. I just got the ick on myself.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dancing's a cult.

[Hannah Berner]

First of all, dancing's a cult. You know all those videos where everyone's in a circle and someone's dancing? That's a culture.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yep.

[Hannah Berner]

All we can do is help people who are thinking of joining dance right now say maybe. Maybe just stick to getting a little drunk on Saturday and shaking your ass and then call it a day. Let's dance. If you say, I want to dance tonight, it means you want to do drugs. But cults are real. And I have empathy for people in cults because I want to belong to something. I want to put all my faith in something else and just, like, have hope and listen to someone. This guy in particular created Shekinah, which for some reason sounds like vagina. To me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

I kept saying Shekinah. I'm like, is it Shekinah? I feel like it's not Shekinah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. Throughout the entire documentary, I still don't know what they meant when they were referring to that.

[Hannah Berner]

That's the name of his church. So people can just make a church and call it something. So if you're not sure if you're in a cult, if they're telling you.

[Grace O'Malley]

You can't call your mom every single. You're in a cult.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. If your mom can't send you a meme, I know you're in a cult.

[Grace O'Malley]

If your mom. Mom can DM you a meme, you're in a cult. I'm gonna say something. And it might be, like, a little controversial. I just don't feel like anyone who is Italian has ever been in a cult.

[Hannah Berner]

Because of our moms.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because there's no way I'm calling my mom and being like, sorry, I can't come home. She'd be like, oh, really? Okay. You know like when you're in college and you have, like, a hungover next day, and everything's funny, and you're just like, oh, like, I never want to leave this place. Like, this is the best day of my life. Like, we're all in our jammies eating food, and you responsibilities. No one cares about you. That is giggly squad. It's like that hungover next morning where you're not sick, you're just silly, but.

[Hannah Berner]

You'Re a little sick in the head. But. But we're thinking it's giggly.

[Grace O'Malley]

And if you have a moment of silence and you think back to everything you've ever done, you're like, ooh.