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Jake Stauch
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Paige
We need to talk about Abercrombie's new summer drop. Especially the swim. Just seeing the new coastal inspired prints and patterns is making me want to book a last minute beach trip. And Abercrombie made packing for vacation even easier with the launch of reversible swim. Perfect for mixing and matching and customizing your look. Prep for summer with Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores. Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix the WI fi manifest that shit.
Hannah
We can't be managed.
Paige
I mean, the day just got away from me.
Hannah
What's up my greasy gigglers? It's Friday.
Paige
Friday.
Hannah
Everyone's in the Friday.
Paige
You know, I got dressed this morning and I was like, oh my God, so cute. Like preppy. She's giving beach house. She's giving second home. And then I got on the zoom and I'm like, I'm just dressed like Hannah.
Hannah
No, but when you do it, it's chic. I'm obsessed with it. You look like you're in boarding school and just gave your first hand job and you like don't know what to do and you don't know if it went well or not.
Paige
And like it's sticky and like it kind of smells. No one warns you. No one tells you that it does in fact smell. That's something you learn on your own.
Hannah
His dick.
Paige
The calm, I would say.
Hannah
Oh, I try not to get that close.
Paige
I think the first time I was
Hannah
like, oh, guys, gross. I would get into it, but I'm pretty sure I have a 15 minute bit about how back in the day we used to like swallow and stuff on my upcoming special. So anyway, we're going to have to save that.
Paige
Anyway, wait, I wanted to bring up your special because I wanted to make it about me for a minute.
Hannah
Please, please, please.
Paige
How you know that you have a true real friendship with someone? Seriously, listen to this. Like, it's so easy to be happy when your friend is happy. Like, oh my God, like we're going out tonight or like, something, whatever. But when your friend is stressed. Now, mind you, when you were filming the special, I was getting a massage, but I knew, I knew how stressed you were for the trailer to come out the that, like, when it did get posted, I felt relief. I was like, you. And now she doesn't have to worry about that, you know?
Hannah
Well, you also sent me the cutest, sweetest, funniest text. She goes, I realize I never texted you for your trailer. And I had a parasocial relationship instead. Congrats. Which is basically, she commented on every photo I posted. She reposted everything. She was on a full PR campaign for me yesterday. And then was like, hey, sorry I didn't text you directly. Are you mad?
Paige
And, well, I was like, I'm no better than someone on Reddit. Like, I literally made up that I have a friendship with this woman.
Hannah
And every now and then when you do something like, really big, I turn into a fan. And then I'm like, if I text her, she really busy right now.
Paige
Is she doing it right now? Like, is she on set now?
Hannah
We had an airport moment where I was like, I'm going to show you this trailer and I just want to see your thoughts. And that was like the test. Like, you didn't realize it, but if you didn't have a decent reaction to it and I didn't need you, like, laughing hysterically, I just, I just know when you like something.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And you had a great reaction. And I was like, I don't go, fuck. Paige liked it. We're good. And that's how you have to be with creativity. Like, if the people you care about love it as much as you do, you go for it. And also, we're just talking about the trailer right now, but I'm just a real perfectionist.
Paige
You really are. It's actually exhausting. You. You think my hair cycling is exhausting? Listening to you, like, make art is so exhausting.
Hannah
Well, people don't talk about it. I'm. I'm a Virgo moon. People never talk about it. Never brought up in any of these, you know, thought. Thought things that people post.
Paige
It's not brought up because no one. I feel like I have a front row seat to you as a businesswoman.
Hannah
It's not, it's. It's not relaxing.
Paige
There's nobody I know other than Hannah that will start something and then half be like, this is horrible. I can't believe you guys even let me get this far. I'm changing the whole thing.
Hannah
When I fail. I feel fast, and I'm. I'm. I love to move. I love change. I will pivot. I'm a pivoter. But also, by the way, just so you guys get a glimpse behind the curtain. So Grace sends us all these clips from what happened on the pod, and Paige literally is like, love cute. Can you actually, like, change the background of that? Or, like, can you not use my face in that one?
Paige
Well, sometimes Grace picks the most diabolical screenshots of me, and I'm like, grace, act like you've met me before.
Hannah
Grace thinks you're beautiful in every angle. That's why. And I will come in and be like, Grace at 04 seconds, there's like, two. And I'm like, we can't post this. This is not good enough. And then I'll be like, at 0.75 seconds, you have to cut that faster. And then, like, do actually, like, a CGI moment over my head when I say this joke. Paige doesn't respond. Grace and I are in, like, eight hours of editing, and, like, Hannah's skin
Paige
color is giving orange, so maybe we change the lighting, but everything else is kind of crushing.
Hannah
Can you make the Hannah look aesthetically pleasing for, like, a second? But that's the thing. Like, when I'm with an outfit, I'm like, I'm stressed about editing clips. I don't have time.
Paige
My favorite thing is, like, when we talk about merch and you say, paige, what do you think? I'm like, sorry, it's my time.
Hannah
Also, actually, we don't know where Grace is. She's supposed to be on this virtual. We don't know where she is. And Paige said, tell Grace to join at her own leisure. And I just want to say shout out to you for, like, thinking of words. I talk for a living, but I actually don't do words. You talk for a living. You love a word.
Paige
Well, you know what?
Hannah
Not like a full sentence. A word.
Paige
I. It's true. I could make one word my whole personality. I love a word that has an alternative rich person way to say. Say said word.
Hannah
Like foyer?
Paige
Yes, like foyer. Like, I love someone that would be like, oh, my God, leisure. But then there's, like, a rich woman that says leisure. Like, actual leisure. Like, I. Like. I feel like. I feel like I have so many words. Like, okay, actually, this is so crazy. You know, like, the word mature. Sometime one time, I heard this woman pronounce it mature. And I. I literally remember where I was, how old I was, what I was doing. When I heard that, because I was like, oh, my God, she's not like other girls.
Hannah
Well, not to talk about my husband, because that's annoying, but because he grew up in Europe, he says some funky ass words. And at first I'm like, you are so dumb. You said that word wrong. And then he's like, google it. And I'm like, oh, it's the European way. You're actually better than me. Sorry, sorry.
Paige
I actually do think that sometimes I can have actually. Sorry. Whenever I have a thought period.
Hannah
Whenever I thought brain explodes.
Paige
I saw this girl, she made this tick tock and she was talking about how women. There's like a bunch of people that will do like. She's talking about women that will do full studies on linguistics and the separation between men and women and things they say. And she was talking about how women say, like, a lot.
Hannah
And I mean, I've never. But some other women but like, how
Paige
women are like, oh my God, all she does is say like and like. Like that we have a lot of filler words. And some girl commented the video and was like, I'm actually learning about this for like, my thesis in linguistics or whatever. And she said, from like, all the studies people have done, women don't get to talk a lot. So we actually put filler words in. Because if there is a sentence silence, typically the other person will immediately start talking. So we almost have to add in filler words to keep our place to let the other person know we are not done speaking. And I was like, oh, my God,
Hannah
we're trying to take up space.
Paige
We're just trying to.
Hannah
Why am I getting emotional? Why am I, like, getting like, emotional, like, right now?
Paige
And the girl that made the, like, initial video was like, I would never hate on another woman for using filler words or like, or having like a valley accent, because it is most common in women. And so why would I hate on another woman for being a woman?
Hannah
I also love a woman who speaks slow like this. I'm like, take waste a man's time. Waste a man's time and actually never get to the thought. Never fully get to the thought. Wow. Now I think of everything differently.
Paige
What were we saying, though, before?
Hannah
We literally just started the pod and we're already. We never had a direction. I actually think. I mean, we're talking about the trailer, if you approve. A lot of the gigglers approve, but they have to wait for you to co sign before they jump on board.
Paige
Well, it's funny because I had a lot of gigglers in my DMs, seeing if they could figure out what exact second that I said, wow, your hair looks so good like that.
Hannah
But you know what happened? You saw the wide trailer that's on YouTube. This was cut down, so you actually couldn't see the full hair. So anyway, also, Lenore is visiting right now because.
Paige
So the place is spotless.
Hannah
You know, like, you clean before, like, a hookup comes over. That's nothing like the way I clean before my mother comes over. I do like to leave her some things because she likes to have a hobby and she really likes to do the dishes. That's like, her thing. So I let her have fun. But, like, DEZ and I were cleaning. Like, we've never cleaned before. We were so scared.
Paige
Wait, really?
Hannah
Yeah, we woke up early.
Paige
Oh, that's serious.
Hannah
We woke up early. And I was like, come on, we gotta go. And we were like, I mean, this is what normal people do, like, once a week.
Paige
But do you know that I don't think I've ever seen you clean. Like. Like, I don't think I've seen.
Hannah
Because I'm a feminist. Because I'm a feminist.
Paige
Wait, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen you
Hannah
take, like, a small spray bottle and.
Paige
And spray something.
Hannah
Did you just say cleaning takes initiative? And when you grow up in Italian household where, like, the women take over. I'm never used to taking that initiative. You have to just. Even if you're at someone's house, and I realize, like, you just have to start cleaning and everyone, like, respects it, but I see it as, like, invasive. I'm like, I'm not going to touch your table.
Paige
Like, I wouldn't walk into someone's home and open up their refrigerator, so why would I open up their sink? Cleaning supply closet, 100%.
Hannah
I do think, too, there's something about dinner. I always hated how, like, when we were done eating, all the women got up and took everyone's plates. And call me lazy, but I was like, no, the men can take my plate. Why is the. Why are the women doing this? They already cooked it all.
Paige
What happens at your family holidays? Now who's cleaning?
Hannah
Okay, well, my nana and papa are perfect and adorable. My nana cooks and she takes the plates. But then papa loves cleaning. Like papa is handles all the dishes. And that's how my mom and dad are too. I just never, like, when all the men are sitting down and the women are at work, I'm like, what is this?
Paige
Did you have chores as A child.
Hannah
Well, this is also. This is kind of the problem is that I had a full time job. I was just playing tennis. So it actually inhibited my chores where like.
Paige
And there we go.
Hannah
Des doesn't. And that's.
Paige
And we've just figured it out.
Hannah
Well, yeah, cuz I'm not good at it. So I don't want to embarrass myself in front of other people by being like, that's how you put the dishes in the dishwasher. I actually tried to do the dishes and DEZ was like, never again. Like, this is chaos. He's like, I'm not. That's not.
Paige
I mean, what do you. How. How bad can you mess up loading a dishwasher?
Hannah
I guess some people like it more organized where I'm like, if there's an opening, it's like Tetris. You just figure it out.
Paige
Well, cups are on the top, plates are on the bottom.
Hannah
Yes. However, sometimes you don't have a covert plate. You have like a weird shaped bowl. And I try to just shove it. But look, we all have our.
Paige
We have our quirks, we all make our things.
Hannah
But I. The truth is, after school, I go to tennis practice. I. I get home at 8pm I have to do my homework. And I think my parents were like, the girl has enough going on. She can't do it. She's tired. I played paddle this morning.
Paige
How was that?
Hannah
Well, I want everyone to know it's different than pickle ball. I'm not like on the dark side. You don't have to like call the police. I'm not playing pickleball.
Paige
Hannah actually texted me and said, can we push the pod one hour? Because I'm playing paddle and I. And you know me, I don't know sports or anything, but I know I've heard her talk about it before. And I said, wait, just checking in because one time you did say, don't ever let me play paddle or I will get arrested. And she takes it back and goes, nope, that was pickleball. And I said, great.
Hannah
Yes. Yes. Also, sorry, I, like, can't take you seriously because you dress like me right now and I've lost respect for you. I'm like, what is she talking about? Like, you wait.
Paige
One day we should do a pod and I'll be you and you be me.
Hannah
And we just talk the whole time, like what we think the other would say.
Paige
I would just immediately start crying about my dead grandpa.
Hannah
No, I actually had a dream about him the other week and it's like why are you outcoming my dreams?
Paige
I had a dream the other week, and my mom told me, like, gossip in the dream. Like, she was dry. And I had. And I woke up when I went to my Instagram because I was like, is this how I get messages now? Like, my mom sends them to me in a tree. And I woke up and I had to, like, check my Instagram for something to see if it was, like, true and real. But it wasn't. But I sat in it for a
Hannah
little because I was like, yeah.
Paige
Because I was like, no, I had a dream that my mom came and whispered something in my ear. And so. And right when I woke up, I was like, my mom just told me something, and that's really scary.
Hannah
But anyway, I do. I do feel like I want to play sports. I want to be athletic, I want to sweat. I'm not done with my battle stories. But I woke up to play at 9am yeah. Which is early for me. And then it was so hot, and I was so tired after it. I was like, I need to cancel all my plans.
Paige
Like, hold on, Wait. Just like, to take it back for a minute. What is the difference between paddle and pickleball?
Hannah
So paddle's European, which makes it cool.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
Like, people in Spain and then South America play it. It's cultured. It's. It's way more advanced than pickleball.
Paige
Got it.
Hannah
Pickleball is like. Is with a freaking.
Paige
For kids.
Hannah
What is it? What is. It's with a wiffle ball, which is so funny. Imagine someone being like, wiffle ball is now a sport. And like, all these people are just like, do you remember wiffle ball as a kid?
Paige
Yeah, I thought it was stupid.
Hannah
Yes. For the unathletic baseball players.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
So anyway. But look, if you're playing pickle, I totally support you. It's just as a tennis player, we get, like, hate if in the community. And, like, I could only handle so
Paige
much within the industry, and we can't within the industry.
Hannah
I love getting industries.
Paige
Can we get in trouble with.
Hannah
My favorite is gossiping to Paige about sports drama and stand up comedy drama. Because, like, you have no. I was gonna say gun in the fight.
Paige
That's not skin in the game.
Hannah
No skin in the game. Thank you.
Paige
You should hear me when I tell other people tennis gossip. Because I'm like. And that's what I heard from my friend. And they're like, do you know any of these people? I'm like, no. And that's what makes it so good.
Hannah
Like, we'll Be we in tour, we were, like, running out things to talk about, and I would, like, see something on my Instagram of people you definitely didn't know. And I go, these people are getting divorced. Do you want to know why? And then to make her interested, you have to start from the beginning. Like, I'm like, she was born in a small town and you were locked in.
Paige
Oh, God.
Hannah
Yeah, you're locked in. But anyway, how are you?
Paige
I'm good. How are you? I. Oh, crash a Bachelorette.
Hannah
I was gonna. I was gonna say Girls Girl of the week. First ever Girls Girl of the Week. Wait, how did it end up on Tumor? Like, what is going on? Wait, the first ever Girls Girl of
Paige
the week is hilarious.
Hannah
You are. I'm so proud of you. You won it.
Paige
Thank you so much. I wasn't even campaigning.
Hannah
I'm a stickler with it. You don't just get Girls Girl of the Week.
Paige
Well, because Daphne launched bridal support. So, like, if you're going out of
Hannah
Bachelorette or Is so funny.
Paige
Yeah. Bridal help Email Bridal support @daphne the label.com. so you can, like, bulk order monogram things. It's just, like, easier for if you're the maid of honor or whatever. So we get a lot of emails. And let me tell you something. The gigglers are animated. Like, they're giving you the plot. They're giving you the full story. They're giving you why they've chosen cloud over white stripe because it's just, like, not esthetically pleasing. And the background, you know, like, they.
Hannah
They tell you because they also think you might be judging them. They're like, hey, I know that yellow seems like a weird choice. I swear, it goes with the, like, sunflower aesthetic that just.
Paige
And they're like, let me send you my Pinterest, because I feel like I could break it down more for you. No. So I do think sometimes they're like, well, what if she's reading this email? Which sometimes I am. So that's how we found this girl. We had a maid of honor email in and say, like, she was planning Bachelorette and it was going to be in New York City. So I was like, oh, this is a perfect bachelorette to crash, because I'm right here. Come to find out. So we're, like, talking to the maid of honor. We're like, what if, like, Paige surprised the bride? The maid of honor adds another girl to the email, and she goes, actually, she knows more about the logistics. This girl emails and goes, okay. So that was actually the Bride. And she's so type A that she was pretending to be me and asking for the order, and now she's looped me in and we're. And sorry about that.
Hannah
Iconic.
Paige
So from that moment, I was like, iconic. Like, I love a type A girl that's like, actually, I'll just do it myself.
Hannah
Wait. Pretending to be your own assistant is, like, not talked about enough and needs to be done as women in stem to be like, hey, Hannah's waiting for the follow up.
Paige
I actually have talked to a couple of people who have made second emails, pretended to be their own assistant, and, like, always made themselves a man because, like, people respond better. So anyway, so we're like, let's surprise both of them, because now the surprise is, like, totally ruined. So we email back and we're like, sorry. Like, Paige's schedule, like, it's just not going to allow it. But we would love to make you a reservation for Friday night or for Thursday night when you guys arrive for your, like, welcome drinks. Basically, like, we'll make the reservation. We'll set the time on us.
Hannah
So Daphne also will plan your bachelorette.
Paige
So Daphne literally will plan your bachelor. So we had the bride and the maid of honor have no idea. So I had a couple people from Daphne already there. And I'm in the basement.
Hannah
It's giving punked, literally.
Paige
And, like, Zack Shepard is gonna come out and be the waiter.
Hannah
You're just in a basement with a headset, and you're like, the eagle has landed.
Paige
So they get there. My Daphne employees give them, like, a bunch of matching shirts and matching sets and everything that they wanted. And then they went and sat down, and we're like, okay, like, have. Have so much fun. Like, sorry Paige couldn't come, whatever. Then like, two minutes later, I brought over, like, champagne to the table. Oh, it was so fun. And just like, like, easy, quirky fun, cute. Like, it was a great, like, kickoff of her bachelorette weekend. Like, I just felt like it was such an adorable moment.
Hannah
I also imagine you doing things, like, without me, and I'm like, how? Because normally.
Paige
Normally I'm like, how'd she get out of the house?
Hannah
If we were doing it, I would have jumped. And you'd been rolling your eyes in the back, but, like, you surprising someone on your own. I'm like, that's. But she's so, like, couth you actually
Paige
never spoken to someone.
Hannah
I'm like, she's never really exclaimed before. But you. I saw the video. You come to your little kitten heels and you're just like, well, you want to know what's so funny? I would scared the out of them. I'd be like, during the whole thing,
Paige
I didn't know what to do with my hands.
Hannah
I know. Like, that's why I know I was, like,
Paige
grabbing them because I was like, hey, I'm just, like, a small, small girl.
Hannah
No, Paige is so shy. You guys don't understand. She's so shy. So then when you do difficult things like that, I'm always like, oh, my God, look at her navigating the world in her kitten heel. And. And. But also, like, surprising someone is. It's tough because you're like, what if they don't respond the way you wanted? And then once you're there, I'm like, what do we talk about? Like, yeah, so how are you?
Paige
No, I was very. I was nervous to surprise them, but I. I was nervous that. To surprise them because I thought they, like, knew. And I was like. I didn't want them to be like, oh, yeah, obviously, like, here she is.
Hannah
Hey, girl.
Paige
Hey. Thanks for coming, my badgerette. So I got, like, a little nervous, but they were so sweet. And it sucks that they have, like, a horrible weather weekend, but, well, at
Hannah
least they're in the city doing, like, fun, indoor things.
Paige
They sent me, like, the PowerPoint for the whole wedding weekend, so I knew, like, what the vibe was for all the outfits. And, like, there's nothing I love more than a PowerPoint that a girl makes that has nothing to do with her job. And, like, because they're so helpful and resourceful. Like, who? The girl that made this PowerPoint. Like, she was like, think skirts, shorts, pants. Like, I'm, like, so close. Like, she gave a vibe of, like,
Hannah
she's giving night of what she should.
Paige
You guys should wear. And I'm like, so everything is acceptable.
Hannah
And a go that reminds me of us in one of our important zooms, which is just. That should be a show in itself.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Because Paige and I were, like, just listening to people talk, but I felt like we should say anything. And they were like, are you ready? We have a presentation. And I just go, we love PowerPoints. And they're like, okay. And we're sitting there, and at the end, they go, paige, you have any questions? And she goes, I'm just happy there wasn't a quiz at the end of that. I thought there was going to be a quiz. And then we got off the call
Paige
because someone had to crack a joke. No. I literally almost interrupted and was like, What? In the eighth grade, science class because I've almost fallen asleep. 7.
Hannah
The whole point of a PowerPoint is you get to press it and surprise people with a funny photo.
Paige
I texted Hannah while we were doing it because I had literally, in the moment, come up with the most genius thing I've ever come up with. I could not stop yawning, so all I kept doing was rubbing my nose because you couldn't see that I was yawning. I was like, every now and then,
Hannah
I screenshot Paige in these zooms. And by the way, it's not with, like, three people. There's, like, 20 people. And. But I'm watching her. Believe me. I keep an eye on her.
Paige
I always watch her.
Hannah
I watch you the whole time. She can't help.
Paige
Oh, well, wait for what I'm going to say about you.
Hannah
Okay? She goes, come for me? No, but, like, I screenshot and send it to the group chat. Just so Grace knows how you're representing us in a public. Well, sometimes she pulls out her skincare, which, like, at that point, I'm just like, that's one.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
That's only with people.
Paige
Like, I. That I know.
Hannah
Yeah. But it's like. Like I feel like I pretend smile in this life way more than you, which, like, I'm jealous of. I wish I could have your confidence. I'm fake smiling 24. 7. I'm like, Paige is just sitting there
Paige
like, well, you've made yourself a clown for the people. I didn't tell you to do that. So, like, people, like, expect people interact with you, and they're always laughing, so they expect you to also be in a jovial.
Hannah
Being a light in this dark world.
Paige
Yeah. And I've given. I'm. I'm this close to a panic attack,
Hannah
so don't push me.
Paige
And so they know.
Hannah
What was that laugh? I just. So what do you have to say about me?
Paige
Okay. Ms. Performative Hannah's in the zoom doing performative chin grabs. Like, she's. Like, she's contemplating a goddamn thing.
Hannah
She also. I kept switching my chin position.
Paige
I go, what are you, Colonel Mustard in the library with a revolver? Like you're trying to look.
Hannah
That's so crazy. I think everyone's watching me. I, like, think people are watching me, and I have to show them doing. Well.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Wait, also, do you know what I'm doing? I'm hiding my double chin.
Paige
Okay. The other thing that I think you do, that literally could make me burst out laughing in any moment, that I actually have to look away sometimes is you nod and it Sounds. It sounds innocent enough, but she does it in a like, hey, that's a really good point. Never thought of that. And I'm like, they didn't even say anything.
Hannah
Okay. I'm an active listener. I'm. Look, I'm an empath. And when someone's speaking and no one's reacting. See, I know you know how you feel for inanimate objects. That's how I feel for real people. And now, like, when they're talking and no one's reacting, I'm like, come on, Someone has to give them a little positivity. So here's. But, you know, that's why I don't like social situations. Because by the end, I've. I should win an Oscar.
Paige
Well, I had it. I have a team meeting every two weeks. And last week I said, guys, what are we doing here? This is an off camera zoom. I get out of my face like,
Hannah
were you there for our last off camera zoom?
Paige
Yeah, I'm the one that started it.
Hannah
And guess who didn't finish it.
Paige
Who? You?
Hannah
Yeah, I showed up and didn't go off camera.
Paige
Oh, yeah? Yeah. I was the first one on with one other girl. And I said, hey, you're either with me or you're against me. Turn your camera off. And she goes, I'm with you. Absolutely. Everybody else joins. They go, oh, it's a no camera zoom. I go.
Hannah
And I show up two minutes late.
Paige
Anna shows up two minutes late, didn't have to do the intros, and goes, I'm just gonna be camera on.
Hannah
I said, she's on camera. And I just was like, wait, I love whatever attention. And then everyone's talking. I was nodding for them. The truth is, if I'm off camera, I can't trust myself. If I'm off camera, I'm playing tennis. Like, if I'm off camera, I'm petting my cat. I'm not listening to anyone. But if I'm on camera, I have to look at least like, I care. And then you care more. Wait, I love how we just did 20 minutes about Zoom calls, but I feel like it's relatable.
Paige
No, that. But that's like, really pertinent to my everyday life.
Hannah
So, yeah, like, we usually go jargon in everyday life.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
So I love a little zoom joke in the beginning and then I could calm down once I get the laugh.
Paige
I'm like, yeah, my quiz joke was pretty good on that zoom.
Hannah
That was really fucking funny. I always laugh a little too hard and everyone's like, okay, yeah, you guys know each other?
Paige
Okay, so I've been having a full woman in stem moment lately because I got some new plants. You know, planting, watering, sunlight, fertilizer, all of that. It's giving science, experiment, but in the actual best way. And there's nothing more rewarding than watching something you planted grow. I've been getting my plants from fast growing trees. They're the largest online nursery in the country and they have literally every plant you could even think of, from trees and shrubs for your yard to fruit trees, cute houseplants, and more. And the best part is fast growing trees actually makes it impossible to fail. They have real live plant experts to talk to you if you have questions. And every plant is backed by their alive and thrive guarantee. So you can honestly just ask if you're actually killing your plant or not. I love to get a fresh orchid every couple of months because I do in fact kill them. But with fresh growing trees, I've been going pretty strong. And right now, gigglers can get 20% off their first purchase at fast growing trees.com giggly that's 20% off at fast growingtrees.com giggly your plant parent era starts now.
Jake Stauch
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Aura Advertiser
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Hannah
So summer's upon us, which is crazy, but I was like looking at bathing suits and I love cheap bathing suits.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
I don't know because I'm not like doing a photo shoot in them. Like, I'm just trying to be in the pool or the beach.
Paige
You're playing games.
Hannah
I'm playing. Yes.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Yes. Or I'm. I'm sprinting, I'm swimming, I'm racing, I'm doing. I'm a mermaid.
Paige
You're doing activities. So it's impossible to lay out with you.
Aura Advertiser
No.
Paige
Yeah. You're not.
Hannah
No.
Paige
You have to be actively engaged. The only time you can really lay out is if we're discussing something that we've discussed 8 million times, but there's one new fact and we're beating that fact. Beating that fact with a dead horse. Then you can lay and tan because you're actively doing something. But if it's like the same old shit, you're like, should I like hit a tennis ball and we'll talk about this?
Hannah
Well, the good thing about our friendship is it's eight years of drama. We can pull from so much.
Paige
The archivals are the archive in a day.
Hannah
Looking good and we rotate. But I got like some TikTok advertisement for a bikini that looked beautiful. I clicked it. $195 for not the full bikini for the bottoms.
Paige
Why?
Hannah
Yeah, I mean, it's one of these, like, nice ones, but, like, what is. It's underwear. What is in this bikini? That's $195 and it's separate, so that's a 400 bikini. Make it make as okay as a designer, as a fashion mogul, make it make sense to me. How do they get to those numbers?
Paige
It's hard to justify because it's such a small piece of clothing.
Hannah
And what is it made out of that makes like, isn't it just like.
Paige
I would assume. I would assume it's probably mostly spandex.
Hannah
Is that, like, really pricey?
Paige
No, but, like, I don't know what swim material. I don't know how hard it is to make swim because I don't even know what that's, like, made of.
Hannah
I don't know. I think it's like a real rip. It's a real rip.
Paige
And what were you shopping on? Do you remember what website? Or like, do you remember, like, it
Hannah
was like a brand. Like it was like a swim brand or it was like a clothing brand that had swim. But it was like, it was nice. Like, it had like 200.
Paige
No, bathing suits are tough. Here's the thing that is hard to justify spending so much on bathing suits is because a lot of the time, unless it's like a very good quality bathing suit, I would say a lot of the time after two summers, it's kind of like dingy and gross and you have to get a new one anyway.
Hannah
Like, if it goes through it.
Paige
Yeah, you go through them faster than other articles of clothing.
Hannah
You know, it makes me mad. It's because it feels like they're pulling something over our eyes where that. I'm like, what the fuck am I supposed to do with one weird colored bottom?
Paige
You hate getting duped.
Hannah
Put it in a set. Put it. It's like being like, hey, this earring is $200. This one earring. Like, obviously I need to buy the other earring.
Paige
We one time I ordered earrings and it was. What was the brand? It was like a. It was like a brand that was. They had a store in the West Village, I think it was like super big at the time. Something like. It was like a woman's name. Something like Tasha or like, I forget whatever. And I'm like. And everyone's getting these like, little mini dainty earrings, and I'm like, I have to. So I go online and I, like, see the earrings that I want, and I'm like, great. I'm gonna get this. It was like, 195. I was like, that's insane. But, like, whatever. I get it. It comes in the mail. It's just one.
Hannah
And I'm like, is this a joke?
Paige
I'm like, clearly, someone, like, messed up, like, the other earring. And you, like, get on customer service, and they're like, no, we send them. We sell them individual. Like, they thought I was stupid.
Hannah
Yeah. Yeah.
Paige
And I didn't realize it was like, because all. Every girl was doing, like, multiple piercings. So they just send it, like, one. But I'm like, it's a. It's a pair. I have two ears.
Hannah
And meanwhile, men have three in one shampoo. But we're paying for. For one bikini bottom. How are we gonna take over the patriarchy when, like, we're out a month's rent for half a bikini?
Paige
You know, it's something that would send me into a coma now that I would have, like, died for in high school as men in earrings.
Hannah
I never went that gay.
Paige
Someone say I've gone gayer?
Hannah
No, you have. You have. And that you have.
Paige
And they were good friends.
Hannah
This is my question. Was it a little mini hoop? Was it a dangle, Gen Z or just a stud?
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Okay. There was a time where guys with one stud, he was naughty. You're like, that's a bad boy.
Paige
One stud. No, I liked double. I liked. I liked cubic zirconium all the way around.
Hannah
You would have liked. Loved the Staten island guys. Like, you would have lost your mind at the Staten island Mall in 2006. You would have been, like, dry humping at a Hot Topic.
Paige
Well, you know what's funny is, like, remember when Facebook came out and we had, like. We're just, like, in the kind of in the beginning of high school that, like, we could have it. And did you ever, like, happen upon, like, your friends, cousins, boyfriend, sister, who, like, lives in a different state? Like, I remember the first time I ever saw, like, a New Jersey prom, like, on Facebook.
Hannah
You were like.
Paige
And just being like, wait a minute. Like, I don't know what's going on in my body, but I like these guys.
Hannah
It's funny because I heard that you're from Albany, and I was like, oh, I didn't know they had Italians that, like, up north. I thought they all were in Brooklyn.
Paige
New Jersey.
Hannah
New Jersey. I didn't know they made them in the cold like that.
Paige
Well, because my family didn't come through Ellis Island.
Hannah
Do you think you're better than us?
Paige
No.
Hannah
How did they get here then?
Paige
My, like, great grandpa came over illegally as like a stowaway, but through, like a port in Boston. And he had like a cousin in Albany, so that's how he ended up.
Hannah
Cousin.
Paige
Yeah, it was like, wherever you could get a job. And so we didn't have anyone in New York City yet, so no one.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
Lived there.
Hannah
Look at you with the historical facts.
Paige
I mean, there's definitely, like, there was definitely, like a part of Albany that was all Italian at some point. No, I didn't, like, go to high. I didn't have, like, high school girlfriends that were Italian in the way I was Italian. Like, maybe they were a little Italian, but they didn't either, like, celebrate the way I did on holidays. And, like, their mom certainly didn't yell at them the way my mom did. So I'm like, she doesn't love you.
Hannah
I'm like, did you just tell your mom to shut up? That's crazy.
Paige
No, I love the Jersey vibe. And I also love. Yeah, I don't know what age that changed that I was like, I would never date someone with an. With two earrings. But now I'm like, that's so terrifying. Although the thought of, like, being able to share earrings is nice. Everything I say, it's just like, paige, you're a lesbian and like, but you could have the same wardrobe and that would be convenient because I, like, said something and some girl made a tick tock and she was like, I literally said this right. Right before I came out.
Hannah
Well, Paige and I were famously on the phone and I said to her, I feel like every friend group has a In the closet lesbian. And Paige said, not in my friend group. And I said, that's how you know that you're the one. Guys.
Paige
You think, you think, I don't want this. I want this. It. My life would be so much easier.
Hannah
Yeah. I could see, like, you know, that one random, like, really girly girl dated Miley Cyrus. Like, yeah, if you did meet the right girl, you'd have, like, the happiest life. But I don't know if that's for this lifetime. I just know the right girl could swipe you off your feet.
Paige
Here's the only reason. And dare I jump in on this convo? The only reason I say that I'm not is because from the moment I was little and I saw a boy, like, I knew I loved boys. I genuinely think that's why my mom made me go to an all girls high school, because she knew I. I loved boys.
Hannah
Yeah. I also feel like if I came out, people would be like, boo. Boring. It's like, so much more exciting for you to come out.
Paige
It would be so exciting.
Hannah
Because I'm lesbian passing. I identify as straight, but I. I'm lesbian passing. And that's why, like, I'm so close to the community. And not all gay guys like me, even though I. Because they get lesbian vibes from me. But no, I had. There's a certain gay guy that is my heart and my soul.
Paige
Yeah. You know, I've been hearing more and more people talking about gays. Gays versus, like, girls. Gays.
Hannah
Really?
Paige
Well, there was, like, a lot of discourse on Tick Tock, I feel like, about how there was a guy. Did you see the guy with the whole Solid Core thing? Yeah. Okay, so that, that song. I didn't. We talked about it, like, in the very beginning.
Hannah
Is it still going?
Paige
Hannah, it's still going on. And I don't know all the details if you want to look it up. I think it was in, like, Darien, Connecticut.
Hannah
I want this guy from Connecticut who. Who's like, putting Solid Core on blast all the time.
Paige
But it was this gay man who would go to Solid Core and he would go to, like, the earliest class every day. And something happened. I think he, like, was recording the instructor and she might have been like, late one day or something.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
And they were like, please don't like, record the instructors. Like, don't put this on the Internet, whatever. And he was like, totally, like. But, like, she was late. And then something else happened and he got in trouble for something else. And they emailed him and they were like, you can't do this. And he was like, totally, like, so sorry about it. And then something else happened that, like, he was like, I didn't do this. So now he's almost at like, three strikes. The last thing he did, I guess, was he's in the parking lot before the class even starts. Early in the morning. Like, I think he goes to like, the 6am so say they're in the parking lot at like 5:45. Also.
Hannah
That is when you should be in REM sleep. Nothing good happens before 7am or after
Paige
1am Nothing good happens before 7 a. And I guess he was like, yelling the instructor's name. And I don't. And I think the instructor kind of got a little like, wait, like, are you, like, really mad at me? Like, again, like, it is a man at the end of the day. And so, like, all these girls were making tick tocks about, like, Certain gay men that have been, like, really mean to them, whether it be, like, in their friend group or, like, in a work setting or something. And I'm like, yeah, it's happened to me a couple times. And it's very jarring because it's like, oh, but we get each other.
Hannah
You're like. You're supposed to be on my side. Can I talk to you for a second?
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
There are some men. Doesn't matter what sexuality they are.
Paige
That, yeah.
Hannah
Are misogynistic. There's women who are misogynistic. So just keep an eye out in these streets.
Paige
Obviously, gay men can relate to us on so many things like that. I had this one friend who. She was like. She was saying how one of her gay guy friends, like, said something about her being fat while she was pregnant, and she was like. And it just, like, really iconic. I'm like, who was this gay? Let me meet him. But she was saying, like, I, like, hurt her feelings. She's like, it was so hormonal. And he kept saying, like, you have to be pregnant with twins. And she was like, and I'm not pregnant.
Hannah
You're crying because that's gonna be you.
Paige
I'm gonna cry so much. I already know it's gonna be so hard for me. I'm gonna be in pain all day. All I think about is my short torso. And that's because of you. I was never scared of that before.
Hannah
Page, not to be too positive, but remember how much you loved freezing your eggs and the hormones because you finally felt alive? Feelings.
Paige
I felt love. I felt. No, I felt real feelings. Hinting I felt real feelings during that. And that was scary.
Hannah
You were a girl's girl.
Paige
Anyway, what were we saying? This episode is presented by Depop. Okay, gigglers, can we talk about the fact that we all have a section in our closet that basically is just vibes and delusion? Like, I bought it for a version of me that goes to Paris Fashion Week, but she hasn't checked in recently. Instead of letting those pieces emotionally support you from the hanger, you. You could be making money on Depop. Depop is a fashion resale app where your personal taste actually has value. And before you're like, ugh. Selling sounds like admin. Relax. You can list an item in just a few taps. On Depop, you snap a photo, and their AI listing tool helps fill in the details. They even suggest smart pricing, which is giving efficiency. And the best part, no seller fees. I'm obsessed. Make money easily with no seller fees on Depop. That means what you earn is yours. Even if you sell one thing, that's a win. Also, depop has built in tools like offers and boosted listings so your pieces actually get seen by people who share your taste. Because trust, someone out there is searching for the exact jacket you're saving. So download the Depop app, list one item and let your closet start paying you back. It's chic. It's productive. It's depop.
Jake Stauch
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. I'm Jake Stauch, co founder and CEO of Cervel. We built Cerbal to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications. My laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. It desperately wants to automate this work. And that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English and it's built. No drag and drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Cerval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run it. We guarantee you'll automate 50% of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four week pilot. Go to Acast. That's S E-R-V-A-L.com Acast.
Aura Advertiser
Most people don't realize how much of their personal information is being bought and sold every day. Data brokers are making billions, pulling details about you from public records and the Internet, then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web. But Aura goes beyond data protection. With one app you get a vpn, antivirus, password manager, spam call protection, dark web monitoring, and even up to $5 million in identity theft insurance. All backed by 24, 7 US based fraud support. Other companies might sell just credit Monitoring or even just a vpn. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial today@aura.com safety. Protect yourself now@aura.com safety.
Hannah
I've also had gay men fight for me like I've never been fought for. I had a, actually a beautiful moment with a gaygler where I was in LA at a coffee shop, scared. And there was one beautiful man just standing there. And I was like, wow, he thinks I'm so good looking. Then he came up to me and he was like, I just have to let you know I love your comedy because on Netflix there's not a lot of like, gay male representation. So like, your feminine comedy is like the closest I can relate to because I don't relate to other comics. And he was like. And through you, I've been introduced to other, like, queer comics and artists. And like, thank you for being a voice like that we needed. And I was like, so I'm Lady Gaga. If there's one gay man in my audience, I go, it's really hard being Lady Gaga.
Paige
You're like.
Hannah
And being the voice of a community.
Paige
Hannah, you in a meat dress. I feel like is you should do that when you're for Halloween.
Hannah
But also, like, being straight is so boring. All I want to do be is an ally to more interesting people. All I want in this world.
Paige
Well, you want to know why being straight is annoying? Because it's so predictable. You got married, you had kids, and then you cheated. Yeah, we saw that come. You know, it's just like our lives are so predictable where the gays, they, they go out, they do, they. They're doing things with different people. They're like, they're all over the place.
Hannah
Also, they're naturally traumatized because they were told by society that like, what they do is. Isn't the norm. So they're naturally been through that made them grow, which makes them hilarious. So anyway, just reminding all the gagglers how much we love you and any man that's in the closet listening right now.
Paige
Wait, what are you doing for the holiday weekend? Do you have any plans?
Hannah
Oh, Lenore's visiting and she's getting a mini pedi right now and she watched me play paddle and we might take. Well, she loves a mental health walk. Lenore loves. And she goes. She goes fast. Also, we're going to Vegas for the American Music Awards.
Paige
Oh, fun.
Hannah
Because you had a wedding.
Paige
Yes, I do. I have a wedding in the middle of the week.
Hannah
I do have to say I did find out I do have one wedding because it seems kind of depressing, me being like, I have no weddings. And then I felt like everyone was, like, talking about me. Like, well, she doesn't have any friends. There's a wedding that Des didn't tell me about that I am invited to.
Paige
So not your friend.
Hannah
Got it.
Paige
Sorry.
Hannah
All my friends are sluts. Sorry. They're all business sluts who don't. Who don't want paperwork involved.
Paige
Sorry, my friends have rejected the patriarchy.
Hannah
Sorry, my friends haven't settled.
Paige
Yes.
Hannah
Sorry. I'm the only friend who's got paperwork involved. Did you see Sports Illustrated? They were like, alex Earl, can you ask Hannah some questions about dating? And I was like, oh, my. Like, what am I going to say to Alex Earl about dating? I'm like, alex Earl, like, I literally haven't sent, like, a good, flirty text in a minute. Even though back in my day.
Paige
You still have it in you.
Hannah
I have it in me. And I do moonlight for a lot of relationships, but, like, I haven't put myself out there, obviously. But she was asking me questions about dating. And then at the end, I was like, I fucking married. I don't have to. I don't have to be defensive about I'm married. So I, like, you have to listen to what I say anyway. Okay. One of the questions was funny. They were like, do you wait to text back or not? And I think I actually had kind of a good answer because I feel like waiting to text back. Yeah, do it a little bit. But it becomes too exhausting to be like, did I hit the hour mark? I think you text back immediately with typos. So he's like, she. Like, she's busy, but also, like, she clearly doesn't give a. She responded immediately and spelled everything wrong. Like, she never. She didn't send this to all her friends. And I think there's something confident about that. And you get the conversation going.
Paige
That was a great answer.
Hannah
I hate when you're in these, like, four hour text things with guys where I'm like, I don't even know anything about him because we've only. We're playing this, like, game. I'm like, we're all on our phones.
Paige
Everyone, all the time, everyone.
Hannah
But I said I wouldn't double text.
Paige
I mean, I've definitely done it.
Hannah
I've done it. Like, if it's like, we're texting during the day and then, like, I'm out, but I'm not, like, continuing a conversation.
Paige
No. Like, I'm not asking the next question. Like, if.
Hannah
Like.
Paige
Like, if a natural question is to follow, like, then I'll say it. But if the conversation has come to a halt, I'm not reigniting it with a question.
Hannah
Or, like, if I said something really dud, like, if I just said okay to something, then you can continue it as just, like, being nice. Also, if he's your soulmate, you could literally send him a paragraph about how you want to have his babies, and he'll be like, cool. Same.
Paige
Yeah. You can never act too crazy for the right guy, ever. Me and Hannah are very much in the true belief of traumatize them early, see what they can handle.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
How strong they are.
Hannah
Yes.
Paige
And then you can weed it out really quickly.
Hannah
Speaking of woman of STEM of the week.
Paige
Wait, before we get to women of
Hannah
some of the week, I got ahead of myself.
Paige
I've had so many girls messaging me. Cosmetologists who have learned the art of the gray hair. Honey. And a lot of them said it's a myth that it's not that if you pluck 1 out, 5 will grow in its place. It's that the belief that is that you are damaging. Damaging the follicle. Okay. And that that causes to grow back a little weird. Now I forgot what they said, that you've just lost melanin. That, like, it's growing, like, it's not gonna grow five more back, but, like, that follicle, it's gonna grow gray because you've lost melanin.
Hannah
But it was already gray.
Paige
Yeah. My girls were like, pluck away.
Hannah
Okay? So it's funny. Whenever we say we're confused about anything, we get tons of messages from gigglers. And I was telling Des. I'm like, oh, my God, we get so many messages from, like, doctors. He's like, who's messaged you up? I'm like, people are like, hey, I'm a surgeon at NYU Langone. I was just listening to Giggly Squad. But I did get one message that threw me. This girl said that she's our women set of the week.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
She is a twin. And she said they did their own study on the ground boots on the ground journalism and said that she plucked her grays and her twin didn't, and she has more grays. So that threw me. That threw me. Threw me off. But I'm still plucking. What do you. Because what are you doing if you're not plucking?
Paige
Well, a lot of girls were giving, like, different root sprays that they use,
Hannah
or I Just want to go full gray with thick tortoise shell glasses and a cape and just, like, walking around, like, talking shit about everything.
Paige
Okay, but not in, like, our 30s.
Hannah
No, more like, like our six ladies. But our woman of stem of the week runner up is Shakira.
Aura Advertiser
Yes.
Hannah
Do you know what Shakira did?
Paige
Yes.
Hannah
Wait, do you want to tell them?
Paige
So a couple of years ago, I don't know if you guys remember, but Shakira was accused of tax fraud in Spain. Literally proved the court wrong, and was like, give me back my. My $10 million, I think is like, they seized or something. Or froze.
Hannah
I shouldn't know about this part.
Paige
And so she, like, proved that she didn't commit tax fraud, and they were like, okay, yeah, you're right. We're wrong. Not to be controversial, but sounds like an inside job. Sounds something. Something fishy was going on.
Hannah
Can girls commit tax fraud? No, I don't think we should pay full. We should pay 70 tax if we have. If women were in charge of politics, that would be the first. There'd be no pink tax. Like, why are we getting taxed the most when we make the least?
Paige
It kind of is crazy that feminine products are taxed.
Hannah
No woman would have thought that. Yeah, some old man. But I'll add that to why she's women of STEM of the Week. But my reasoning was, so her ex who cheated on her is like a soccer player or football, and she's the face of the World Cup. So iconic. So iconic. So whatever your ex is doing, find the way to be the face of it. It's not that hard. Just, like, put your mind to it for a couple years.
Paige
It's. Honestly, it's not that hard.
Hannah
Imagine everywhere he goes, it's just her face and her songs and yes, people are going to the game just to see her.
Paige
Hell yeah.
Hannah
So respect to that. Because you know that her team was probably like, you could do this. You don't have to. You're ready, icon. You don't need to work this summer. And she's like, yeah, I do.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Yeah, I do clear my plans. I definitely do. And the documentary I recommend everyone watch is the Kylie Minogue documentary.
Paige
What's that on?
Hannah
It's on Netflix. It's three episodes. I don't think they. They talked about how good her style was. And one thing I'm very jealous of Kylie Minogue for. She's.
Paige
First of all, I think it's Mino.
Hannah
I. I'm gonna have to say mano to that. I hate my. No, I hate Myself, I think it's Minogue.
Paige
Okay.
Hannah
It's not Minogue either.
Paige
No, I knew that. And it's not Montague.
Hannah
No, that's a whole different family. Different word. Yeah, yeah, it's just a different word. But you can say mano to bring it back to the beginning. Like, if that's what your heart is, is singing, we should double check on it. So the thing with Kylie Minogue, do you know that she. Think of Kylie Minogue, she started in Australia, that's where she was born. On a soap opera that blew up. Like, everyone was obsessed with it. It spread to the uk, it spread to Ireland, and then she decided she wanted to do some singing. And everyone was like, you can't be a singer, you're an actor. And she was like, I'm 19 years old. I love. I love music. I've always loved music. And it just reminded me how much, like, people want to put people in boxes.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Because I hate being put in a box. Like, the second I'm in a box, I try to, like, do the other thing.
Paige
Well, you try and break the box.
Hannah
Yes. And I do think people can't comprehend that just because you started somewhere that's not where you wanted to end. And a lot of the time when you do something that's not even what you planned and then they put a stamp on your forehead and they're like, this is who you are now.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
So she was like, yeah, I was auditioning for gigs to make money, but, like, I always wanted to be a singer. Like, I actually never wanted to be a soap opera actress. And she's so fucking beautiful. And she hasn't gotten work done, which makes her like, so, like, you can't look away because she's unique looking. And what I'm so jealous of her about, this bitch can pull off every hair color and every hair length from a shaved head. Bright blonde, blue, black.
Paige
How old is she?
Hannah
She's now 57 and she's on, like a full world tour. Her career was insane. And I love a music documentary. I just, like, eat that shit up.
Paige
You love a music documentary? Do you know I haven't watched one music documentary that you've told me to watch?
Hannah
Why? Why do you do this to me?
Paige
Because I feel like you've watched it, so you've informed us enough for the both of us. So if we ever run into this person someday, you're got. You literally have a covered.
Hannah
I'll be like, she thought your name was Mano. Embarrassing.
Paige
I think it might be.
Hannah
Are you watching anything?
Paige
Am I Watching anything? No. Honestly, TV has sucked recently. Yeah.
Hannah
What the helly?
Paige
I don't know the streaming platforms. Guys, did you clock out? Like, what's going on? There's no shows. Everything is like, I know that we are feminists because we are alive, but every show feels so geared toward men that I'm like, like, I don't care about, like, this drug deal gone wrong. One thing I wanted to say about your special is like, the Utah girls must have been like, who did Hannah's hair? It was giving full Mormon wife. But like, she doesn't wear her undergarments.
Hannah
Like, not Jesse from Mormon Wives commented.
Paige
I'm sure she did what she said.
Hannah
She was like, I can't wa watch. And she definitely was like, that's my sister.
Paige
No, I was like, where is Hannah's long blue dress and seven kids? Because you were giving Mormon that hair was giving Jay Z styles.
Hannah
We do Hannah and Paige try new
Paige
things Mormon just one day or just like any culture. She's slipping. I think she's slipping.
Hannah
It's really hard to be in a cult if you have have stomach problems like I do because it's like communal bathroom and you can't get up during the group, like, chanting because I get mad at you. So I'm like, I'm like, kind of past the cold.
Paige
I just also, like, need to be alone for a certain amount of hours a day. And so, like, don't tell me what to do because I'll have to like, kill you. So, like, no, I'm not in your cult. Anyhow, I hope everyone has a lovely
Hannah
holiday giggling with us. Have a great weekend. We love you so much. Bye.
Jake Stauch
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Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Date: May 22, 2026
This lively episode dances through a blend of candid humor and heartfelt friendship, as Hannah and Paige dig into their personal quirks—perfectionism, their love/hate relationship with parties, and the nuanced differences between “padel” and “pickleball.” Via relatable tangents, the duo lay bare their experiences with friendship, self-doubt, femininity, and pop culture, all while roasting themselves and each other. The episode's true power lies in its moments of authenticity, vulnerability, and endless laughter.
“When I fail, I fail fast. I love to move. I love change. I will pivot. I'm a pivoter.” (04:50)
“Women don't get to talk a lot, so we actually put filler words in…if there is a sentence silence…typically the other person will immediately start talking. So we almost have to add in filler words to keep our place, to let the other person know we are not done speaking.” (08:02)
“We're trying to take up space. Why am I getting emotional, like, right now?” (08:41)
“Paddle's European, which makes it cool…It's cultured. It's way more advanced than pickleball.” (15:18)
“Did you just say cleaning takes initiative?…When you grow up in Italian households where the women take over…I'm never used to taking that initiative.” (10:49)
“I love a type A girl that's like, actually, I'll just do it myself.” (19:00)
“$195 for not the full bikini—for the bottoms.” (33:12)
“Men have three-in-one shampoo. But we're paying for one bikini bottom. How are we gonna take over the patriarchy when, like, we're out a month's rent for half a bikini?” (36:13)
“Famously…every friend group has an in-the-closet lesbian.” (39:55)
“Whatever your ex is doing, find the way to be the face of it. It's not that hard. Just, like, put your mind to it for a couple years.” (56:09)
“It just reminded me how much, like, people want to put people in boxes…Because I hate being put in a box. The second I'm in a box, I try to do the other thing.” (58:39)
“If the people you care about love it as much as you do, you go for it.” – Hannah (03:55)
“We're just trying to…waste a man's time and actually never get to the thought.” – Hannah (09:04)
“But I see it as, like, invasive. I'm like, I'm not going to touch your table.” – Hannah (10:49)
“...what is in this bikini that's $195 and it's separate, so that's a $400 bikini. Make it make sense.” – Hannah (33:25)
“Being straight is so boring. All I want to do is be an ally to more interesting people.” – Hannah (49:25)
“Paige is so shy...when you do difficult things like that, I'm always like, oh my God, look at her navigating the world in her kitten heel.” – Hannah (21:15)
Useful for:
Anyone seeking authentic, unfiltered talk on perfectionism, pop culture, modern womanhood, and why you should always double-check whether you’re emailing the maid of honor…or just the bride herself.