Giggling about rage bait, prom, and ex boyfriends

Summary

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Giggly Squad — Giggling about Rage Bait, Prom, and Ex Boyfriends

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Date: August 27, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of Giggly Squad is classic Hannah and Paige: pure unfiltered chaos, hilarious self-deprecation, and relatable deep dives into womanhood and friendship. The hosts giggle through messy mornings, recount awkward set experiences, muse on childhood trauma (and its lasting effects), reminisce about school dances (and girl drama), detail current obsessions (from tennis to Zoe Kravitz), and even invent a new term for agitating men: “rage bait.” Throughout, listeners are treated to memorable moments, pop culture takes, and the signature “we-can’t-be-managed” Giggly Squad energy.

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Main Discussion Segments

The Morning Mayhem: Giggly Squad Chaos

[01:30 – 04:00]

• Paige and Hannah open the episode by joking about recording first thing in the morning, with neither fully awake ("Your face is asleep," Hannah teases at 02:08).
• They acknowledge Giggly Squad’s unique brand of disorganization and why having guests rarely works for their particular brand of “creative chaos.”
• Quote:
  "We've lost control. It’s so Giggly Squad-coded. We don't have a studio. We barely have a room. You’re moving out. We have nowhere to record. We don’t care.” — Hannah (03:28)

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No Guests, No Problem: Why They Don’t Do Interviews

[04:00 – 05:00]

• Hannah shares a TikTok where a fan celebrates their non-interview format, leading to a reflection on the “unmanageable” Giggly Squad style.
• Both hosts agree the idea of inviting someone into their “chaos” fills them with dread.
• Quote:
  “It actually makes me anxious thinking about bringing a third party into our chaos... It’s so jarring for the normal person.” — Hannah (04:30)

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Behind the Scenes: Nail Disasters and Set Drama

[06:18 – 13:56]

• Paige and Hannah recount a chaotic day on set: Paige arrives with chipped (really, missing) toenails and starts her period, causing a minor emergency as the crew searches for a tampon and nail polish.
• The two riff on differences in how they’re treated, story of “team” dynamics, and the hilarious disconnect between their “preparedness” and the expectations on set.
• Quote:
  “If you don’t like who I am, you should have hired someone else. You were having a Britney Spears moment.” — Hannah (12:51)
• Memorable analogy: Paige compares resisting getting her nails done to a kid refusing to wear a coat over a Halloween costume.
• They note how women in these situations bend over backwards to be polite, reflecting on how society “beats women down.”
  Quote:
  “Society... we have to be so fucking overly nice or we’re criticizing. I mean, it’s the plight of being a woman.” — Hannah (19:13)

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Childhood & Teen Girl Drama: Fifth Grade Prom and Betrayal

[26:31 – 34:03]

• Paige shares her iconic “fifth grade prom” saga: a crush, jealousy toward her friend Molly, and eventual vindication when Molly proves her loyalty.
• Quote:
  “How dare you show your face on this playground? I saw you—what were you talking to him about?” — Paige (33:18)
• Hannah labels these events as her “villain origin story,” shaping her inability to trust (“Fifth grade, that’s when I started clocking these bitches.” — Hannah, 21:12).

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Blonde Loyalty & Friendship Categories

[35:04 – 36:01]

• Paige muses that socializing with blonde women doesn’t feel like cheating on her friendship with brunette Hannah because they “offer different things.”
• Quote:
  “If I only hang out with blonde women, I don’t feel like I’m cheating on you... If I found a girl who was brunette, funny, beautiful… you’d be like, are you mad at me?” — Paige (35:04)

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Celebrity Talk: Gossip, Style Icons & Male Podcasts

[49:52 – 52:23]

• Hannah spotlights Zoe Kravitz: her dating life, effortless style, and family (Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet), plus musings on how “science” produced such a cool person.
• Also, a sidebar about how male podcasts are a baffling and perhaps dangerous occurrence:
  Quote:
  “Stop getting together and agreeing on things. That’s how literal wars start.” — Hannah (53:28)

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Pets, Cat Drama, & Updates

[53:40 – 55:23]

• Paige updates on her standup tour and her cat “Butter,” who finally reclaims her space after Paige’s foster kittens are gone.
• Notable exchange: Paige consults Mystic Michaela about Butter’s aura, learning Butter is “very happy because she feels like she got rid of them.”

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TV Faves & Documentaries: Hunting Wives, The L Word, and More

[55:51 – 61:14]

• The hosts discuss the Netflix show Hunting Wives with all its lesbian drama (“Let’s stay focused on the plot!” — Paige, 56:13).
• Hannah appreciates more lesbian representation on mainstream platforms, contrasting it with the classic L Word.
• They also recommend and analyze recent documentaries (Jussie Smollett, The Biggest Loser), noting how reality TV doesn't hit the same way anymore for them.

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Iconic Bits & Rage Bait: How to Annoy Men

[42:47 – 45:51]

• Introduction of “Rage Baiting” — a new segment:
  • Example lines to infuriate men:
    • “What sport would you play if you were athletic?” (43:07)
    • “You look like you read with your finger.” (44:04)
    • “Do you cut your own hair?” (44:43)
  • Quote:
    “Get a gay going—gagged!” — Hannah (32:41), inventing the idea of getting gay friends riled up to stir the pot.

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Product PR, Food, and Final Giggles

[63:07 – 65:17]

• Hannah raves about getting a PR package for an Oreo x Reese’s collab and argues it was a life-changer (lamenting Paige not receiving one).
• Confession: Hannah admits she gave away Paige’s Edible Arrangement to the doormen, leaving Paige resigned-by now.
• The girls debate normalizing food gifts over flowers, with plenty of banter about edible arrangements being more work than joy.

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• Paige on morning brain fog: “I don’t normally form a full, coherent sentence till around 5pm.” (01:59)
• On womanhood: “Never in the 16 years I’ve had a period have I ever had a tampon when I got my period. That’s crazy work.” — Hannah (08:59)
• Rage Bait Tip: “Say, ‘What sport would you play if you were athletic?’…10 out of 10.” — Paige (43:07)
• Prom trauma: “That’s where I learned I can’t trust anyone.” — Paige (21:22)
• Paige to Molly: “You are my day one. You are everything.” (33:43)
• On women in reality vs. men (“wars start from a podcast”): “When men do it, I’m like, you’re being creepy.” — Paige (53:22)
• On Oreos/Reese’s PR drop: “They are not paying me… this is not an ad, but I finished that immediately.” — Hannah (64:11)

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Segment Timestamps

• 01:30 — Episode opens; morning chaos, sleepiness, and Giggly Squad “code”
• 04:00 — Podcast format discourse; reluctance to host guests
• 06:18 — Set drama, periods, chipped nails, and beauty expectations
• 13:10 — The “child hat” and “Halloween costume” analogy; resisting beauty demands
• 19:02 — Reflection on politeness: gender expectations for women
• 26:31 — Fifth grade prom saga; friendship crises
• 35:04 — Friendship cheating & “blonde only” outings
• 42:47 — “Rage bait” segment: best ways to annoy men
• 49:52 — Celebrity news: Zoe Kravitz’s style, dating life, and ‘science’ genes
• 53:40 — Paige’s cat Butter update
• 55:51 — TV/Docu chats: Hunting Wives, The L Word, Jussie Smollett
• 63:07 — PR packages, snacks vs. flowers, final giggles

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Conclusion: Why Listen?

This episode is a Giggly Squad masterclass: open, messy, full of pop culture, self-aware humor, and the kind of “did I just say that?” honesty only Hannah and Paige can deliver. Great for anyone craving a mix of friendship comedy, womanhood confessionals, and viral moments waiting to happen.

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Transcript

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[Hannah]

Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix your wi fi. Manifest that shit.

[Paige]

We can't be managed.

[Hannah]

I mean, the day just got away from me.

[Paige]

Good morning, Gigglers. Now, I know that this pod gets listened to at many different times of the day. You could be going to work. You could be, you know, home from work, coming home from work. Those are the two times you were thinking of murdering your husband.

[Hannah]

So many different times of the day.

[Paige]

But this is the morning for us, and we have to tell you that because I don't normally form a full, coherent sentence till around 5pm well, you.

[Hannah]

Still have like, no. Your face is asleep.

[Paige]

Your voice is asleep. I have marked my face from my.

[Hannah]

You walked in as if, like, you meant to go to the bathroom to pee, but you found yourself in the podcast room. You're like, hey, guys, what are you doing here?

[Paige]

So, for people who don't know, we record the pod at my apartment. So Paige has been up. When did you wake up? 6am you look like you've been doing Pilates. You've planned the day for your children already. You dropped them off at school.

[Hannah]

I'm actually hair oiling right now. I'm multitasking. I was like, should I put an outfit on? I was like, you know what? No. I'm probably gonna, like, toured my apartment from Hannah's, get my steps in in the morning. Then I have a zoom meeting. Not till one. Like, I have to. I'm planning all my things.

[Paige]

See, I woke up at 6:30am in fear that I missed the podcast. Perfect. And then I was like, oh, my God, it's only 6:30.

[Hannah]

Let me just explain. She physically couldn't miss the podcast because it's in her home. I mean, at some point, I'd come into your room and say, hey, we have to do the pod.

[Paige]

Also, no. Who's gonna fire me? Like, this is some deep, deep trauma.

[Hannah]

I mean, I know that we created Giggly Squad, but, like, Giggly Squad is so Giggly Squad code. Like, I don't know how else to explain it.

[Paige]

We've lost control.

[Hannah]

It's so Giggly Squad. Coded. Coded. We don't have a podcast studio. We barely have a room. You're moving out. We have nowhere to record. It's like I come all the way down to the east. Like, there's just so many things that are so. We're like, we don't care.

[Paige]

But also, it's just, like, makes it perfect. This is the chaos we need for our creative energy.

[Hannah]

Okay. So I saw a girl on TikTok who made. Which I didn't even know this was a discourse among podcast listeners where she was like, I'm so sick of every podcast I've ever listened to. At some point go into just like, an interview show where they'll have, like, an influencer or a celebrity and, like, whatever. And she was like, my only podcast that doesn't do interviews and is Giggly Squad. I honestly think it was the week we had the cat psychic on. But anyway, that wasn't an interview.

[Paige]

That was recon.

[Hannah]

That was like, that the FBI sent her. Like, that was above us.

[Paige]

That. Yeah, that was just love.

[Hannah]

But I was. I commented because I was like, it actually makes me anxious thinking about bringing a third party into our chaos and being like, just sit down and, like, be on our pod.

[Paige]

Like, no.

[Hannah]

It's so jarring for the normal person.

[Paige]

No, also, it's because we can't organize it. You know, how many steps involves getting someone physically?

[Hannah]

I think about that all the time.

[Paige]

Also, an hour is a long time to talk to someone that you've just met.

[Hannah]

Yeah. No, I. If we ever interviewed people, this would be like, in our 60s. I feel like.

[Paige]

Are you okay?

[Hannah]

Sorry. He's like, Burping. Also, you haven't even commented that my boobs are taking over the whole room.

[Paige]

I was gonna bring that up. It just. My eyes aren't fully open. I haven't seen anything yet. What's going on?

[Hannah]

Honestly, I don't know.

[Paige]

Like, I don't want to diagnose you with anything, but you do have, like, so many things. But, like, what is it where you're just obsessed with your boobs all the time?

[Hannah]

I don't think there's a word for that.

[Paige]

They usually walk in and be like, you haven't commented on my boobs.

[Hannah]

I've never had them. I've never had. This is the first time ever that I've had them.

[Paige]

I know.

[Hannah]

When are you. This is what I meant to ask you. You, though. When are you getting your period? Oh, what's your sketch?

[Paige]

I think in, like, a week.

[Hannah]

Okay. So, like, I would be early, but, like, here we are. Who knows this?

[Paige]

I don't want to, like, make your head big, but I didn't get boobs till I was 18.

[Hannah]

Go. I'm 32. I could be going through, like, another puberty. No, I just think that I'm my horn.

[Paige]

Well, your fingers keep growing so quickly. Your fingers keep growing. Oh, wait, you're like. It's.

[Hannah]

My nails are so long right now. They actually do look like chicken talons.

[Paige]

I killed the whole family yesterday because I've been playing tennis.

[Hannah]

Wait, this brings me to my next point that I need to tell the gigglers. So Hannah and I do, like, a bunch of things together.

[Paige]

What kind of mafia sketchy shit was that?

[Hannah]

Hannah and I are always together doing things.

[Paige]

Look, we're doing stuff on the side.

[Hannah]

So sometimes we have to arrive to a set, and sometimes there's other people that are working on said set now.

[Paige]

Also, we've never been on a set before, by the way.

[Hannah]

We've been on multiple sets together.

[Paige]

Okay. We have been on multiple sets together. Continue.

[Hannah]

And so, as a former child model, I know that you show up to set with three things. Clean hair, clean nails, and overall, just, like, clean toes or, like, cleanliness. Shaven legs. You just come as. You come as a specimen for them to create their canvas. Okay, so Hannah and I show up to the set where both I actually, this day came. Hair and makeup ready. Because I was at something else. So I get to set, and they're like, hannah's in hair and makeup. Okay. They're like, do you want to touch up? I'm like, let me just, like, see? So I walk In. I'm like, should I get a touch up? The hair and makeup people are like, you're perfect.

[Paige]

You're stunning.

[Hannah]

Like, maybe some hair stunning to spray.

[Paige]

Like, we don't want to ruin whatever.

[Hannah]

They're like, you so naturally, like, have it going on. Like, you can go sit in your trailer and wait for everyone. And they look at Hannah and they're.

[Paige]

Like.

[Hannah]

We'Re actually going to need to call our boss.

[Paige]

You guys were unsure what to do with you. You don't even know the drama that I started before you came.

[Hannah]

No, I don't.

[Paige]

I walk in, realize I got my period. By the way, there's so many more important people.

[Hannah]

So many, like, a plethora of more important things happening.

[Paige]

My only job is to, like, not be a nuisance for people.

[Hannah]

Just be there and like.

[Paige]

And not be heard, not be seen. Speak when spoken to.

[Hannah]

You're literally a child of the 90s.

[Paige]

I walk in immediately, I'm like, start bleeding out. I'm like, of course. I actually. You know, it's funny. I actually didn't have a tampon at home. Like, that was on me. Yeah, I should. I'm not like an Hannah.

[Hannah]

I never have a tampon. Like, when they show in movies where people, like, just go into bathrooms, like, oh, do you have a tampon? The girl's like, yeah, yeah. I'm like, are you on your period? You just put the. There's so much room in there. All the purses are.

[Paige]

Paige walks around in one large tampon would be sticking out. Also, these large tampons, why are they dildo size?

[Hannah]

Never in the 16 years I've had a period have I ever had. Had a tampon when I got my period. That's crazy work.

[Paige]

Anyway, have you ever, like, lost your virginity because of one of those large tampons? Because that's the only one left.

[Hannah]

No, I actually think they give me UTIs. I'm like, okay.

[Paige]

And then you can't pull them out because you've corked yourself.

[Hannah]

I'm like, I could have been having sex with strange men, but yet here I am. Because it was an organic cotton. Give me a fudgeing break. Anyway, the tampon should be stopped.

[Paige]

So, yeah, I asked them for a tampon, and you could tell through them. Like, they were like, they're running around, and I'm just like, look, I don't want to bleed out. So, like, this insurance, like, figure it out. So I already felt bad, so they got me the tampon. Then I realized that my tone. Look, my toes Weren't done. But I tried to make it like I had.

[Hannah]

It's not a big deal.

[Paige]

Well, I try to make it like, just part of my toenail had, like, fallen off.

[Hannah]

Yes, they were chipped.

[Paige]

I was like, oh, I have a chip.

[Hannah]

They actually weren't even chipped. Your big toe was jagged because part of the nail had fallen off, so it looked like it was chipped, but it was actually. There's no nail, though.

[Paige]

And also the other nails were outgrown, like, the whole thing. But I tried to be like, oh, my God. An accident just occurred as I was putting in my tampa. I strangled myself with my tip on. I've lost a toe. But also mind. Oh, wait, this is my all.

[Hannah]

Also, like, we're dealing with, like, people in their 20s that are supposed to be, like, dealing with us. And we're like, we're so sorry. They're like, yeah, no, like, we actually have to ask someone because, like, this is.

[Paige]

We've never dealt with this level of distressed before. They told you. They were like, wear what you want. Okay.

[Hannah]

So when we do things together, sometimes we'll be like, okay, let's just, like, make sure the outfits are cohesive. Like, are you guys going to get a stylist? Like, are you doing it on your. Like, there's a lot of questions. And for whenever something's different, like, different processes.

[Paige]

And also, we're team. Like, we're team. We. So, like, I know what people say to Paige and Page. Those people say to me, and I know that they're being treated as far.

[Hannah]

And we're a team. And so they called me, and they were like, whatever you want to wear. We totally trust you. Like, do whatever. Send us pictures. We literally don't care. And I'm like, great. So I get off the phone, I'm like, I have three things that I have in mind. I'm going to send them pictures. One of the things are, like, we're literally obsessed. We love this. This is perfect. You totally get the vibe. I'm, like, the easiest workday I've ever had. I call Hannah and I'm like, oh, what are you wearing? And she was like, oh, I have to use tight.

[Paige]

I had to bring on eight people. I had a full, like, team in Sweden trying to figure out what. What's going to look good. And I show up with, like, 10 options. And I walk in the green room, and they're like, no, actually, wait. They didn't even look. They brought their own stuff before they even looked what I brought.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But one of the things ended up fitting, which was great, and you looked gorgeous. Gorgeous. So we're happy they put me in hair and makeup. They also realized that her nails weren't done. My hand nails aren't done.

[Hannah]

And Hannah was like, no one's gonna be looking that close. I honestly. She was telling them not to look. She was telling them not to worry about. They're like, it's not a problem at all.

[Paige]

By the way, this shoot was not a rush. Like, we could not have time. But I was like, I don't want anyone to touch. I don't want to be done. Like, don't. Don't touch me.

[Hannah]

Literally, you were like, this is who I am. If you don't like who I am, you should have hired someone else. You were literally having a Britney Spears moment. You were like, I want to make the music I want to make. I'm not going to be confined to this pop star lifestyle. I'm not getting my nails done. I'm over there. Full acrylics.

[Paige]

I'm like, she's such a, by the way, like, this makeup artist, you could tell she's like, I don't want to do nails either, but there is a bigger thing happening here and we have an aesthetic and it's called contract. She's like, let me just do your nails. And I was like, literally like a baby. You know when you. You have to like, put a coat on a kid and they're like, no, no.

[Hannah]

You were the equivalent to you have a matching hat to your outfit. It makes the whole outfit. And your child refuses to put the matching hat.

[Paige]

No, it's literally what I did to my mom all the time. She would put it on, get the photo, and then let me, like, chuck the hat.

[Hannah]

Yeah. That you were having. You were having the 33 year old version of that.

[Paige]

No, it's like a kid on Hallo. You, like, have your Halloween outfit, but it's freezing and your mom's like, you're going to get pneumonia. You have to put this on. You're like, no, but I like, I have no.

[Hannah]

Like, I'll die if I have to put that on.

[Paige]

But I'm like, dressed as Belle.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So, like, Belle doesn't wear a coat.

[Hannah]

Sorry.

[Paige]

Have you ever seen Belle with a coat? I know she's in France, but like.

[Hannah]

Child logic is, like, so authentic. It's like, name a time where you've seen.

[Paige]

When I was hanging with Lois, she's in her why phase. So I'd say something and she'd be like, why? Yeah, this bitch got me philosophical. I was like, I don't know why the pool is like that.

[Hannah]

We need to. There's something about. You want to know what? This is such an interesting observation. Lois is a firstborn daughter.

[Paige]

I'm so obsessed with her. So she comes over to my bedroom table. We'll finish the other story. Just quick side sidebar. And I have actually tatcha lip stuff.

[Hannah]

Which I love, by the way, in the little.

[Paige]

The little love, probably $45.

[Hannah]

She's like, aesthetically gorgeous.

[Paige]

Gorgeous. And she's like, can I look? She wasn't. She took it. Yeah. And she starts putting it on, and I'm like, you're the love of my life. Like, do whatever you want. Like, burn everything in my house. I love you. If that's fun for you, put it on my house. Yes. So she's like, hydration, hydration, hydration. And we're laughing, and she's sticking her little finger in it, which is the same size. My little finger, let's be honest. So then she's done, and she's like, my finger is, like, dirty. So next to my bed, I obviously had just, like, whatever.

[Hannah]

That's exactly it. You had. I don't know, whatever. Just that if you. If I could describe, say, Hannah's aesthetic, it's. I don't know, whatever.

[Paige]

But I must have, like, blown my nose, like, four days ago and had, like, a tissue or, like a. But it wasn't, like, dirty dirty. But, like, it was.

[Hannah]

You had a paper towel. There was a paper.

[Paige]

It was a paper towel, like, had been used at some point in my life. So I go, but, like, could be.

[Hannah]

Used a second time. Paper towels don't grow on trees.

[Paige]

So I go, give me your little finger, and I can use the edge of this toilet paper, whatever it was.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And she goes, is that dirty? And I go. And I don't like lying to kids, but I realize you have to.

[Hannah]

You have to. The police.

[Paige]

But she can tell when I'm lying. She gets his face where she's like. She's on to me. Yeah. And I'm like, yes, but it's not too dirty. And she's like, no, that's dirty. And I'm like, okay, you read me to fill.

[Hannah]

You're actually spot on. I was lying to you. No, they're lie detectors.

[Paige]

And then she's like, why would you lie? And I was like, because I don't want to get up and get you a new fucking towel for your little finger.

[Hannah]

She's like, Anyway, that's so uncool.

[Paige]

So the girl does my nails. I'm livid.

[Hannah]

No. So the Me and Anna are sitting in, like, a separate area, and they come back and they're like, okay, we got clarification on hands, nails, and we are, in fact, going to paint them. So we're looking for a nail polish right now.

[Paige]

These people quit the industry after this day. Like, that was their dream. They moved to New York to work in tv, film, New York City. And then they're like, mom, I can't do it.

[Hannah]

They're like, on a pod next week. They're like, what was your most stressful celebrity you ever met?

[Paige]

So then I'm probably forgetting stuff because there was definitely more chaos. And, oh, well, they did my hair and makeup, and then we had to wait a while.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And then they looked at me and they were like, yeah, we're gonna have to do that again. Like, I guess it just melted off my oily face.

[Hannah]

I said, preserve. They looked at you. I literally was like, a petrified. Like, something in Harry Potter. I was like, they did not give.

[Paige]

You one touch up the entire day. They had redo my makeup. I know, but I was in a trailer.

[Hannah]

I know.

[Paige]

Anyway, we get to this, like, green room where, like, a bunch of people are hanging out and a model walks in.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

Her nails aren't done bare. Wait, you didn't say that to me. You didn't.

[Hannah]

Wait, I didn't.

[Paige]

So you were sitting there the whole.

[Hannah]

Time being, like, staring at her. Look at those bare nails. Literally.

[Paige]

I was like, no one's gonna. No one sees that. But then I like, obviously she has, like, really long, beautiful model fingers. But, like.

[Hannah]

So what was it?

[Paige]

What was it?

[Hannah]

Was it discrimination against no nail polish? Or was it the discrimination against your short fingers?

[Paige]

So now I'm reporting to something.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Someone's getting reported.

[Hannah]

Some type of HR violation.

[Paige]

There was an HR violation. So. And then the next day, I'm walking around and my. I have to go to somewhere important. But obviously they just put, like, basically their chips.

[Hannah]

Wait, this was the other thing. They were, like, scouring for a nail polish.

[Paige]

Oh, that. And they're like.

[Hannah]

They're like, don't worry. Okay. We're like, we're going to get a nail polish. They come back with this, like, red color. The girl's, like, doing it, and she's like, okay. Like, should I do another coat? Hannah's like, no, no. Like, this is good enough. Like, let's be done. Like, she was like, I really think that There needs to be another.

[Paige]

This is the problem. I think I'm, like, super nice and polite about it. Like, I'll be like, oh, my God. No, it's okay. And she's looking at me. She's like, no, it's not okay. I'm like, oh, my God. No, it's okay. And she's like, no, this isn't okay.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But then the next day, I had.

[Hannah]

You want to know what that is? Society on how much they've beaten women down because we have to be so fucking overly nice or we're criticizing. I mean, it's the plight of being a woman. It's literally, you can't do anything.

[Paige]

But your vocabulary is so good for this. The time of the morning.

[Hannah]

Thank you so much.

[Paige]

I'm hopping. You're running circles around me. I'm like, so this is the problem.

[Hannah]

I ate Duncan refresher. I'm ready to go.

[Paige]

No, the Duncan refresher is hitting. Which refresher are you drinking?

[Hannah]

No, I'm obsessed with Duncan this summer. Okay. I have the Strawberry Dragon fruit refresher with sparkling water love.

[Paige]

I have the Mango pineapple Refresher with less concentrate and green tea.

[Hannah]

I drink a lot today.

[Paige]

If you won the merch giveaway with Duncan, make sure you tag us and Duncan in your posts. The next day, I had to shoot something also, and I show up and I just have chipped red nails, which look way worse than if I just had raw nails.

[Hannah]

So it's just raw nails is a domino effect.

[Paige]

And this is all because I've been away from Jacqueline.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Yeah. Has Jacqueline said anything about me?

[Hannah]

No, she hasn't. I'm seeing her actually this week.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

We haven't really talked about you, though. The other day, though, I did say I was like, should I take a break and, like, just do natural nails and, like, chill for a little. And she looked at me.

[Paige]

Oh, no, she hates.

[Hannah]

She's like, you know, why would you do that, Jack?

[Paige]

I've tried with her. I've tried with her. Wait, I just got PTSD of, like, when you're little and you have a crush on someone and your friend, like, like, talks to them for one second, and you're like, did you say anything about me?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And they're always like, no.

[Hannah]

One time that happened to me. And then, like, my best friend in fifth grade started dating the guy that I thought that I was dating, and, like, the whole class knew that we weren't dating anymore and that he was dating her, and I was the last person to Find out.

[Paige]

Oh my God. Are you okay?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And that's your villain origin story?

[Hannah]

It truly is my villain origin story. I really did do feel like started in the fifth grade. That's when I started clocking these bitches, you know, I was like, you're out to get me. I think.

[Paige]

Wait. That's where I learned I can't trust anyone.

[Hannah]

Fifth grade, I was like, that's when.

[Paige]

I took the hood over my transfer. I took the hood off my. Whatever that quote is. I took the hood over, I took.

[Hannah]

The hood out one of those things.

[Paige]

Wait. I hold the wool over.

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[Paige]

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[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

Fifth grade prom.

[Hannah]

Pardon? Fifth grade prom.

[Paige]

I mean, it was, like, made up, but, like, there was. Or there was a dance.

[Hannah]

Law and Order, svu, but continue.

[Paige]

There's a dance coming up. I've had a crush on this guy since, like, like, second grade. This is deep. Like, this is like, on your birthday.

[Hannah]

No, I get that. You're like, I feel like you meet him second, third grade.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

You don't, like, get things going till fourth, fifth.

[Paige]

But, you know, like, I've been. This has been a long time coming. I've been planting seeds. It's fifth grade now. Like, it's time.

[Hannah]

What people don't know about me in middle school, I only had eyes for blonde hair. Blue eyed men.

[Paige]

You never told us that.

[Hannah]

I know. And then once I hit eighth grade.

[Paige]

I was like, when you said I only advised. It's giving a Frank Sinatra movie. But you know what? Little. Little blue eyed boys are cute.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like, they're so sweet. And you. And then I grew up. And then you decide you want guys who can grow facial hair.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So this guy, like, he's my, like, he's. I'm obsessed with him. But, like, obviously, like, the other girls liked him too, because he was cute. And I had a friend. Molly. Full name, I'm saying it. Put that on people.com.

[Hannah]

So there's always, like, things on the Internet. It's like, I wish someone from her past would, like, come and say, like, how awful she is. And I'm like, how about I say.

[Paige]

How awful people are from my past?

[Hannah]

Actually, how about I turn the tables on that one? How about I start listing names who gave me this personality because of trauma?

[Paige]

Okay, so, Molly, wait.

[Hannah]

Also, I saw a TikTok the other day, and I actually didn't send it to you because I was like, that is, like, so depressing.

[Paige]

It was like, thank you for protecting my space.

[Hannah]

It was like, if you're really funny, like, no one knows the trauma you've been through. Every time someone's like, oh, Hannah and Paige have Like a top comedy podcast. I'm like, well, we're really sad sometime. I think an 8am pod is exactly what we.

[Paige]

This is gonna happen every week. You're actually crying. I can't tell if it's, like, happy or sad to yourself. So you keep going with that. Molly's cute.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Like, let's be honest. Molly's cute.

[Hannah]

I feel like if your name is Molly, you, like, have to.

[Paige]

You're fucking adorable. Like an American Girl doll.

[Hannah]

I was just gonna say you're skipping a job. Jump from American Girl.

[Paige]

She was adorable and I knew it, but she was my friend.

[Hannah]

I feel like Molly wore, like, bucket hats.

[Paige]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love, like, you speak in limited to clothes.

[Hannah]

I'm like, let me set the scene. We're in fifth grade. Molly, she's got a bucket hat with a flower.

[Paige]

I had a Limited Two thing, like, sent to me, like, bring back Limited Two. And it was like 20 slides of a Limited Two magazine. And I couldn't find you in it. And I almost reported the post.

[Hannah]

There are some that I wasn't in.

[Paige]

Or it was like, AI, they took you out. Anyway, we'll discuss that later. But so I told her, like, find out if he's gonna ask me.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Which was so, like, intense. Intense and feminist of me.

[Hannah]

Is he gonna ask me?

[Paige]

Is he gonna ask me what? Like, let's go. Like, I don't have time. It's fifth grade. Like, so she goes to talk to him, and then I. Wait. Now I'm like, forgetting what happened. Yeah. It was 30 years ago.

[Hannah]

I would hope so.

[Paige]

Wait, no, that's not what happened. That's not what happened. This is what happened.

[Hannah]

You haven't even said what happened.

[Paige]

No. Molly's my best friend. I didn't tell her. Okay. I didn't tell her anything. I'm hanging out with Justin, my other friend, but he's just like. Like, guys, girl. Like, girls guy. Like, he's a girl. He's a girl's girl. But he wasn't gay. I don't think. Maybe he was looking back. No, he's definitely out now. But at the time, just felt comfortable around him. Wait.

[Hannah]

When I went home last weekend, I ran into my first ever gay bestie. And we were gay besties together. In third grade.

[Paige]

I found the Gays who Love Me. Lesbians. We read, We Love. Like, we were already there. The tennis gays. And it's a different type because they respect me.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Which I've never felt from a gay man before. They like. Because gay men Love tennis and gay men are good at tennis. And gay men shout out, Blakely Thornton. Shout out. I was gonna say, like, a really famous tennis guy that's not gay, but, like, they love tennis, but could be. But could be. Anyway, so I'm hanging out with Justin, kicking, kicking with Justin, and Molly is talking to my crush on the basketball court. Okay, so, Brooklyn, what was his name? I can't say. Okay. I'm protecting. Not to protect a man, but.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

So she's talking to him, and I said this. She knows that I liked him since second grade. She knows the dance is coming up. What could she possibly be talking to him? And in between his basketball game.

[Hannah]

And I know we're not supposed to blame the woman.

[Paige]

I know. And I know this sounds like I am, but I was paranoid, and I'm turning to. And I start shitting on my friend. I said, after all we've been through.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

How dare she? And. And Justin is egging me on. He's like this.

[Hannah]

He's like, I never liked you.

[Paige]

I never liked you.

[Hannah]

Always wanted to be friends with her.

[Paige]

She didn't want to be friends with you. She wanted to be you. Like that kind of shit.

[Hannah]

I was like, I love when one of my days goes, you know what? Never liked her. And I'm like, you never said anything. And you never said anything. When you get one of my gays going, it's.

[Paige]

Get a gay going. Get a gay going.

[Hannah]

Do one thing for your day and get a gay going. Because Gag.

[Paige]

Get a gay going. Get a gay going. And let them tell you what it is.

[Hannah]

No, let them break it down for you. Because it's.

[Paige]

You're like, oh. Like, it's like once they hit their fucking.

[Hannah]

No, wait, Hannah, we just created get a gay going. Gagged.

[Paige]

Gagged. Like, get a gay going. Wait, maybe that's the segment. We just bring on a gay and let them go. Okay. And with that, we're gonna have a gay. Have a gag come in. It's just straight guys. They don't know that we're going. Time for our gag segment. What are you gagged about.

[Hannah]

Hannah? We brought in a bunch of straight men saying it was, like, one of our segments, but really we don't tell them.

[Paige]

And we say something you're passionate about. Yeah.

[Hannah]

Something that, like, really gets you going. Whatever.

[Paige]

Yeah. So then Molly. Molly comes up to me after, and I said, how dare you show your face on this playground? Yeah, I've seen the gall. I've seen what I needed to see. Like, I saw you like, we had eyes on you. What the fuck were you talking to him about? And she goes, he wanted to ask me to ask you if you want to go to the dance with him.

[Hannah]

And you're like, molly.

[Paige]

I said, molly, you.

[Hannah]

You are my day one.

[Paige]

You are everything. You are my ride or die. You are. I could.

[Hannah]

I feel like I don't care what the gays are saying about you.

[Paige]

I take back every bad thing I've said about you. I did report it to the school newspaper, and I did spread a lot of lies about you, but in the meantime, you're perfect.

[Hannah]

So then I wonder if anyone's school newspaper had, like, like, gossip sections.

[Paige]

Wait, you didn't, like, go to college? Yeah, you did, but, like.

[Hannah]

No, we know.

[Paige]

I went to, like, I went to, like, 40, 000 kids.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Oh, my God, there was a Facebook page. Yeah, I bet it was called.

[Hannah]

Well, because Gossip Girl had just come out, and I feel like that was, like, the first start of. I think that, like, in high school, there was, like, a random thing, too, that we.

[Paige]

I forget what it was called. It was called. It was like, a missed connections type thing. Yeah. So it actually was so cute and positive, but it would be like, girl, not today.

[Hannah]

Not today, not today.

[Paige]

The Internet was so cute before. It would be like, girl, going up Bascom hall, like, wearing the pink shoes. You're really cute. And it. So it was kind of like, usually, like, a dating thing. But you'd, like, go on and you'd, like, go through it to see if anyone saw you. And every day you'd be like, like.

[Hannah]

Well, that turned into Reddit.

[Paige]

I have to bring something up. I've been socializing this last week one.

[Hannah]

Because I've been seeing it.

[Paige]

It's my. It's my time, like, tennis season. It's my Super Bowl. But I realize. I feel like if I only hang out with blonde women, I don't feel like I'm cheating on you.

[Hannah]

Like, because we're so different.

[Paige]

Because we are so different.

[Hannah]

We're categorically different.

[Paige]

It's almost like it's eating at a different restaurant. Like, it's like, I feel like if I found a girl who was brunette, funny, beautiful.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Hung out with her, you'd be like, are you mad at me?

[Hannah]

Yeah, I'd be really pissed.

[Paige]

But, like, I'm gravitating just towards blondes because, like, I'm already. I'm fed. I'm fed. I have all I need. But, like, if I want to dabble.

[Hannah]

You're in a Committed relationship at home.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Hannah]

But when you go out.

[Paige]

So I feel like when I post with blondes, like, it doesn't count. It doesn't.

[Hannah]

It literally doesn't count.

[Paige]

It's literally like just for like, funsies.

[Hannah]

Yeah. How has. We're going to the US Open tonight. Tonight.

[Paige]

Which seems like a million years away. It's middle of the night right now.

[Hannah]

But how has it been? Hot.

[Paige]

The U.S. open.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

It actually so funny that that's what she.

[Hannah]

Well, I just know you and your temperature.

[Paige]

No, it's true. I actually. So I went to this mixed doubles thing with Chelsea.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Handler. That was a dream.

[Hannah]

Yeah. How was. What did you guys talk about today?

[Paige]

So she had just come back from Ibiza, so she was exhausted. So we were same level. Like, we were perfect. She was like, let's have a couple honey deuces. I'll like, I'll have a taste. I had one. I had half honey deuce.

[Hannah]

Yep.

[Paige]

And we just honestly, like, we talked shop. She gave me advice, we gossiped, we.

[Hannah]

She's so nice.

[Paige]

She's so nice, but she's so. She's so fudgeing. Naturally funny.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, for how, like, like direct and to the point and like, crass. Like, her humor is like snarky and like sarcastic. Whatever. Her personality, like, when she's talking to you, I feel like. Couldn't be more like, she's so, like when she's talking to you, you genuinely feel like, oh, she's listening and she's asking a follow up question of like.

[Paige]

That's. She was asking me questions.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

That's like my biggest thing. Like, especially when you meet a lot of famous people, like, they could give a fuck. Yeah. Anything about you. She was like, just leaning over, asking me stuff, like earnestly wanting to like, learn about me. And I'm. I'm like trying not to sound like an idiot in front of Chelsea Handler. But also the fact that she's so like, just like, she's not fake, you know? So like, I like, you'll always know how she's feeling. She's hilarious. And I think we. When we started fucking with each other, like making fun of each other, it was such like a east coast type friendship where the second she made fun of me, I was like, oh, my God, that's my best friend.

[Hannah]

Yeah. No, that's so true.

[Paige]

So that was fun then. So I go to the tennis hall of Fame this weekend, which I exorcise some demons, but. Do you know Angela Kinsey from the office?

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

Blonde, she is Such a dream.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So funny.

[Hannah]

Such a delight.

[Paige]

Such a little delight. Tennis is kind of a fun thing where, like, it's, like, a language. So when everyone's together, it, like, brings you together.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Because you all speak the same language. It's really beautiful.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

And me and her were playing, but we played in this, like, doubles exhibition, and she, like, plays, like, in, like, women's doubles. And she was like, oh, do you, like, actually play? And I'm like, no, this is my entire life.

[Hannah]

And she was like, okay, why don't you play? Like, where you have sign up? What is that called?

[Paige]

Oh, like, sign up for a tournament.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Well, look, I thought.

[Hannah]

Or not even sign up for, like, a tournament. Like, where you join, like a place. Yeah. Like a league where it's like, oh, okay. And you're playing Tuesday night.

[Paige]

Yeah. I mean, honestly, I could. I just don't have. My schedule's kind of crazy. But then also, I'm not gonna lie.

[Hannah]

I'm like, why don't you do more things?

[Paige]

I played really well this last weekend, and I. I definitely was Googling, like, how do you try to go back on the pro tour and quit comedy?

[Hannah]

We.

[Paige]

I had to talk to my therapist. She was like, you're not going on the pro tour. And I was like, I can still do Giggly Squad.

[Hannah]

See, this is why I'm, like, a toxic friend. Because I'm like, wait a minute. What if you did go back on tour?

[Paige]

Des wants me to do a documentary about me trying to get back on tour.

[Hannah]

Hannah. Wait. Why are we not doing that? I. I will get you such good tennis looks. Tennis outfits for your tour.

[Paige]

I would have to be. I'd have to train. I have to, like, be in the gym early. You could get some steps in if you want to come to some workouts. I'd get yelled at.

[Hannah]

Hannah and Paige try new things, season two. But it's just Hannah doing something, and Paige tags along because that's really what I wanted the show to be. No, but that is what the show is.

[Paige]

The show is me forcing you to do shit.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Then me laughing at it and you being like, can we?

[Hannah]

When I know I don't have to do things. Like, okay. I'm trying to think of, like, an example. Like, as a performer, do you ever go somewhere and you're like. You keep being like, oh, I'm not the one performing. Like, okay, when I went to Las Culturistas, I had to get up and give, like, one speech. But after I. And I was, like, nervous before, because, like, ever doing anything. But then after, I was like, oh, I'm done.

[Paige]

Like this.

[Hannah]

Like, I don't have to do that. Anyway. What was I saying this for?

[Paige]

Because when you follow me around.

[Hannah]

Yeah, when I follow you around, I love that you have to do the, like, nervous, scary things, but I could still be there and enjoy it with you. It's kind of like in this club.

[Paige]

Life when Paige is having her panic attacks. I literally was like, paige, just sit there. I got you.

[Hannah]

If we had, like. If I allowed cameras. If I allowed cameras.

[Paige]

We should have.

[Hannah]

I know we should have. We should have, but it was because we had a guy. If we had. If Hobson was there, it would have been a totally different.

[Paige]

The first night when Paige had a panic attack, there was a guy, and I was like.

[Hannah]

And he was filling in for our normal girl. That shot.

[Paige]

He wasn't, like, true and tested yet.

[Hannah]

No.

[Paige]

So you were literally, like, in a course.

[Hannah]

And also I was like, get the out of here.

[Paige]

Imagine if I was like, hey, she's sobbing and yelling.

[Hannah]

Go get the camera.

[Paige]

Get a little closer. She's like a wild animal. Get closer. Watch out. At least Grace could have gotten some BTs. Grace.

[Hannah]

Grace was terrified.

[Paige]

No, Grace. Grace was not. Like, Grace was worried.

[Hannah]

Yeah, she was worried.

[Paige]

She was, like, trying to find drugs.

[Hannah]

Any solace for herself.

[Paige]

Anyway, anyway, I was talking about my blonde friends, Angela, Kinsey and Chelsea Handler. But if you think about it, all my best friends are blonde. Hailey. Nicola. Yeah, Hailey Bieber. Who else is blonde? That's, like, a good friend of mine.

[Hannah]

Gabby.

[Paige]

Gabby. All my good friends are blonde. Besides you. But it's because I respect you.

[Hannah]

Madison.

[Paige]

Madison. Oh, you got. Wait, do I like blondes?

[Hannah]

No, you're obsessed with blondes. I saw a thing on TikTok today, and I felt so. Not today. The other day, and they were saying, like, what is our generation's version of the name Karen? And it's between Jessica and Stephanie. And I literally almost.

[Paige]

Someone watch my special.

[Hannah]

And I literally almost texted my friend Stephanie was like, I'm. So you said Jessica. Jessica and Stephanie.

[Paige]

Because they both hit really well. Stephanie. Jessica.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it's about them. The punchiness of it. I don't know why I just thought.

[Paige]

Of that, but something popped up on my Instagram, and it's how to Rage Bait a Man. And I thought it just was perfect for our brand. Just like a fun hobby, like, Wednesday.

[Hannah]

Afternoon thing that you could do. Write this down, girls.

[Paige]

Write this down. Get out your notes. How to Rage Rate a man.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Say, what sport would you play if you were athletic?

[Hannah]

Yep.

[Paige]

So good. 10 out of 10. Whatever makes you feel big and strong. You love this.

[Hannah]

I love that one.

[Paige]

She's swinging her legs.

[Hannah]

Metaphorically.

[Paige]

Metaphorically.

[Hannah]

I still am hung up on the old one where it's like, you look like you can't swim. Like, I love that one.

[Paige]

That.

[Hannah]

Really? I didn't know.

[Paige]

When you look like you can't swim.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, do you know how to swim?

[Paige]

You know?

[Hannah]

Yeah, of course I notice. Oh, it looks like.

[Paige]

Well, it's funny. You know, they'd be slapping. You know those guys who, like, swim and they're just. Chris, why are you looking like that? Can you swim? Yes. Like, you know those guys who, like, slap when they, like, try to freestyle? I'm like, okay, like, put your fingers together.

[Hannah]

Honestly, as someone who should have been on the swim team, but my family didn't believe in me or have a swim team, I, like, still get annoyed about. About it. I don't even know how to dive because my mom was like, you'll hit your head and be paralyzed.

[Paige]

This one is diabolical. You look like you read with your finger.

[Hannah]

I actually do.

[Paige]

I know. Wait, I didn't read you. Girls are allowed to read with their finger also. Especially when your finger is beautifully manicured.

[Hannah]

Also, if I'm ever somewhere giving a speech, like, when I had to go to my high school, I had to give a speech, like, a couple months ago, and I literally reverted back to, like, being in school. I was like, I have to use my finger.

[Paige]

No, there's definitely some stuff that should have been worked out at an earlier age with you. How tall do you wish you were?

[Hannah]

Oh, that is a sad one, but so true.

[Paige]

You seem. You seem like you were homeschooled.

[Hannah]

I've dated a couple of us.

[Paige]

Do you cut your own hair?

[Hannah]

One time I asked a guy, this is so bad. And I genuinely. I didn't even. Here's the thing about me. Sometimes I say mean things, and in my head, doesn't sound mean. Not meaning it to be mean, but when it comes out and the person looks at me. One time I asked a guy, what grade did he start getting bullied in? And I. And I go, I'm so sorry. Sorry. Did you get. You just seem like a person that if someone were to get bullied in the school, you would have been an easy target. And I was just wondering, at what age did that start for you? Because that one's been really hard and traumatizing, and I'm actually trying to be nice about was fifth grade.

[Paige]

It's like, yeah, when did the horrible treacherous bullying begin? And why is it still happening now with me? Final one. This is really funny. I like your pixie cut. Oh yeah.

[Hannah]

Wait, that is so funny that men just have like pixie cuts.

[Paige]

They do.

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[Hannah]

A little front page news.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Just because it's a celeb that I want to talk about.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Have you been seeing Zoe Kravitz out.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Here in these streets?

[Hannah]

Just having like the best roster lineup. Just like outliving her life.

[Paige]

Oh, yeah. Is it her current one's Harry Styles.

[Hannah]

Harry Styles. Hold on, let me go to her.

[Paige]

Channing Tatum, who's.

[Hannah]

Okay, so she broke up with Channing Tatum.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Just did a movie with Austin Butler. I think people thought like they could have been canoodling now is dating Harry Styles. But like a couple months ago was, remember what. Who's that guy that I was like, where in the world is Carmen?

[Paige]

San Diego.

[Hannah]

Noah Centineo. Remember that one time we were like.

[Paige]

Where the heck she was fooling around Noah.

[Hannah]

And then like Two weeks later, it was like, all about Noah on the Internet. I was like, hello. She was with him. Who I think is, like, so good looking. Yeah.

[Paige]

Even though he's giving, like, castaway right now. Because he was like. I think it was hidden for a while.

[Hannah]

Yeah. He went out. He's like, always going through his own. Yeah, whatever. I like him from, like, my teen bop.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, movies anyway. And I just think she's like a fashion icon that people don't bring her name up enough. Yeah. Like, in terms of fashion.

[Paige]

Well, she's never not looked immaculate.

[Hannah]

Right.

[Paige]

And. And effortless.

[Hannah]

Effortless. Like, cool. Like, she's always, like, cool.

[Paige]

Her dad is Lenny Kravitz.

[Hannah]

No. And her mom's Lisa. But no. Like.

[Paige]

Like, what is Thanksgiving? Like? It's called science. Science. She's just science. And it's. You have to be effortless. Like, no one asks her. When did you start getting bullied?

[Hannah]

No. You're like, anything. How many people did you bully? And, like, why did they deserve it? You know, it's like, like, sorry that she probably, like, called the girls out in high school that needed to be called out.

[Paige]

Yeah. Like, yep, you're gonna be. Have to talk to Zoe.

[Hannah]

Can't bully a bully. Good luck. You literally can believe. Anyway, we're getting too in the weeds.

[Paige]

We're getting in the weeds.

[Hannah]

Anyway. Oh, she's 36 years old. I don't know why I thought she was my age, but Anyway, she's only 5 2. She's a freaking peanut.

[Paige]

Put her in your pocket.

[Hannah]

But I just. I'm like. I'm going through a phase where I'm really upset. Obsessed with her. Right.

[Paige]

Her style.

[Hannah]

And I. I'm really obsessed with her style. I really love that she's just, like, dating whoever she wants to date. She doesn't give a. She's just, like, out in the world. Anyway, I just wanted to.

[Paige]

Also, her mom was dating Aquaman for a while, which is kind of iconic.

[Hannah]

Yeah. What was his name again?

[Paige]

Chris. You don't know who Aquaman's name is? You've won job. Yeah, you're right.

[Hannah]

No. What is that guy's name from Game of Thrones? Give me the first letter of his first name.

[Paige]

J. Jason Momoa. I call him Jason. Yeah, Jason Momoa. Who, by the way, Burley. Sorry. I like talking about men. Like, how, like, men talk about girls on podcasts. Big.

[Hannah]

Is that what they say?

[Paige]

I don't know, actually. I've never listened to a male podcast. You.

[Hannah]

You saw him turn on a Male podcast. You want to know, like, sorry, the thought of, like, my man turning on a male podcast, like, in the car. I'm sorry.

[Paige]

You want to listen to other men talk, get your own friends.

[Hannah]

But, like, when girls do it, it's girls do it.

[Paige]

No, it's communal.

[Hannah]

It's like we're relating about something.

[Paige]

It's a coven. No, it's when men do it. I'm like, you're being creepy.

[Hannah]

You had to, like, no, stop getting together and, like, agreeing on things. That's how literal wars start.

[Paige]

I don't like that.

[Hannah]

I don't like it.

[Paige]

No, that is how wars start. It's from a podcast.

[Hannah]

Truly. Women spend too much time together. They start shooting each other.

[Paige]

I have a Butter update. Okay, so as you guys know, I'm about to go on tour. Not the tennis tour, my standup tour.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So I had to bring the kittens back, and they've literally all been adopted except two of, like, the nine. So it's pretty good. Anyway. And if you guys don't know, all summer, Butter's been boycotting, like, staying in my closet, only coming out at night to cuddle with me during the day, even though she has the whole house refusing, Like, I've never seen, like, I.

[Hannah]

Know what you've done here.

[Paige]

She's basically like, I've seen what I need to see.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

The cats are in another room. The door is shut.

[Hannah]

Yep.

[Paige]

Finally, like, all the house guests are gone. The kittens are gone.

[Hannah]

She can, like, just sense it.

[Paige]

She just comes walking into the room like nothing ever happened.

[Hannah]

She's like, hannah, did you have a good summer?

[Paige]

She's like, hey. And I took a photo of her because now she's standing in the room, which she wouldn't go near all summer. And I texted Mystic Michaela, and I go, what's going on with her aura? And she goes, you're on.

[Hannah]

Hold a minute. Hold on. You're on texting terms with Mystic Michaela. When she showed up in your life.

[Paige]

It was dm, but, like, I'm trying to get on texting sexy terms with her, okay? So she goes, oh, she's very happy because she feels like she got rid of them. Like, she was literally like. And that's how it's done.

[Hannah]

And where are they now? Back on the streets.

[Paige]

She goes, hopefully they find who their parents are.

[Hannah]

Hopefully you get adopted.

[Paige]

Wait, that's a bunch of fucking pick. Pick me's. Get a real mom. Stop stealing mine. Get out. Get out, you little hips.

[Hannah]

Drama.

[Paige]

So Butter is sitting next to me on the couch. I thought I. I thought she was, like, permanently like, Maddie. She's acting like the happiest cat in the world. The second the cats leave, they were in a room.

[Hannah]

I was like, wait, I, like, miss us.

[Paige]

No, literally. Yeah.

[Hannah]

It's like, when your friends come home from college, it's like, remember your real friends.

[Paige]

Like, so Butter is very, very happy.

[Hannah]

I made that so fun.

[Paige]

There's no easy way to segue this, but I watched Hunting Wives.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I'm obsessed. I have notes, but I'm obsessed. Okay, first of all, Malin Ackerman.

[Hannah]

We talked about this last time.

[Paige]

Great actress. I have. I have more notes. I finished it.

[Hannah]

Oh. I actually didn't even finish it.

[Paige]

Really. This is the thing I didn't realize it's a murder mystery, which is true. You know, my thing. Like, I got really into it, but it got to the point with the lesbian stuff, where it was like, let's stay focus on the plot. Because, like, in the beginning, it was like, ooh. And then, like, by episode five, I'm like, why are they making out?

[Hannah]

Care who murdered this person?

[Paige]

Like, there'd be no reason for a hook. Like, we'd be actually so close to getting to the murderer, and then suddenly they're, like, trying to figure each other, and I'm like, this doesn't make any fucking sense.

[Hannah]

It feels like you guys don't actually care, and you're just.

[Paige]

I don't care about a woman who's died. A girl who died.

[Hannah]

Well, do you want to know what I like about the lesbian stuff, which I don't clip that, you know, like, that could be really. I would get canceled. What I like about the lesbian stuff, though, seriously, is I feel like there's a lot of, like, gay male and male representation, like, on tv other than, like, HBO or, like, Showtime, where it's, like, taboo. Like, they're in a gay couple where, like, it was never, like, on, like, mainstream tv.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I feel like this being, like, a top Netflix show. It's amazing for weeks, and it's like, lesbians, and it's like. I just feel like there's not that many shows. Like, all they had was the L Word, I was just gonna say, which.

[Paige]

Was iconic and, like, should have. Also, it's.

[Hannah]

I feel like I was too young when that was on. Like, I don't remember that.

[Paige]

Well, the L Word, they had, like, scripted and unscripted. Like, they had, like, a reality show of the L Word, too.

[Hannah]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Paige]

It was really Good. But anyway, I. I really, really liked Hunting Wives.

[Hannah]

Yeah. You want a season two?

[Paige]

I'm. I feel like there has to be because it kind of ended on a cliff.

[Hannah]

I don't know. But I'm sick of, like, okay, cool. Yeah. Everyone loves this show.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Great.

[Hannah]

You'll have season two in four years. Like, I need Hollywood to get it together. Like, I need them to film it on iPhone. Figure it out. Like, the writers are no longer on strike.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Get to work and film the next season.

[Paige]

Nobody working.

[Hannah]

Why is nobody working? Netflix is, like, building a big studio in New Jersey, and I'm like, that's what we need. We need some fucking Jersey men in the union being like, let's get this fucking shoot going. Like, that's what I need. I need.

[Paige]

Get the trucks.

[Hannah]

Like, I need Northeastern people that kind of.

[Paige]

We can't have this Hollywood, you know, tanning, drinking, eating acai bod. Do you drink or eat acai?

[Hannah]

Bowl a break at.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

For two hours.

[Paige]

No, we don't do breaks.

[Hannah]

No, we don't do breaks.

[Paige]

Oh, my God. Did you see the Jussie Smollett documentary?

[Hannah]

Okay, I didn't see the documentary, but I saw the preview. Wait, I watched the Biggest Loser documentary.

[Paige]

Oh, wait. Oh, my God. You're up on your documentaries.

[Hannah]

I'm getting more and more into documentaries because you're right. Like, I actually can't stomach reality tv. Like, I can't watch it.

[Paige]

And it's no.

[Hannah]

So sad because it was such a big part of my life for so many years, and I thought, like, oh, maybe I'll be able to get back into it. I physically can't.

[Paige]

Can't you guys? I haven't watched an a minute of reality.

[Hannah]

I'm just like, that's not real. I just. I can't. So I've been starting to try and.

[Paige]

Watch more documentaries, and I'm telling you, it's even. And, yeah, there's still biased documentaries, but at least it's like, the drama is real.

[Hannah]

The drama's so much better.

[Paige]

Better. Drama's so much better.

[Hannah]

And it's organized in everyone's system. It's not stressful.

[Paige]

But I'll be honest, I didn't follow it that closely because it was confusing from the beginning. Like, I. They lost me early on. I was very confused. But they basically were saying that he lied about a hate crime, and they were treating it like he murdered someone. Like, the police was, like, this horrible. Like, they really went hard on him. And I think it's because it's. Again, like, the police is, like, reality tv, where, like, they have to. They're trying to get a good narrative.

[Hannah]

Is he trying.

[Paige]

What is this on Netflix?

[Hannah]

And it's his.

[Paige]

He, I think, is involved. Like, he's getting interviewed, but he is the policeman.

[Hannah]

And so. And he's trying to say, like, I didn't lie.

[Paige]

Yeah. And the police are on there going, like, he lied.

[Hannah]

And didn't the people that he hired to, like, allegedly, like. What is the word?

[Paige]

Like, assault, jump him? Yeah.

[Hannah]

Didn't they say, like, no, he hired us?

[Paige]

Yes. But then you go into it, and it's these, like, two brothers who, at the end, they're, like, promoting a book and, like, saying all this stuff.

[Hannah]

Get your bag.

[Paige]

Get your bag. But then there's a clip where it doesn't look like them. And everyone's asked, like, is that a white guy or a black guy? And everyone, like, has different answers because Jussie's saying it was white guys who assaulted him. But then the brothers are black. It's very confusing.

[Hannah]

Very confusing. How many parts is it?

[Paige]

It's just one. Like, an hour 45. It's really good because it has both sides. I hate when a documentary is just one person's side being like popcorn. But it's literally him.

[Hannah]

He gives me a weird aura, though.

[Paige]

He. He does, but you also, I feel like, can't judge someone going through that in their life. Like, he's going through a really fucked up time that he created, though. But they think. But he's saying he didn't lie.

[Hannah]

Interesting.

[Paige]

I mean, like, I'm. Once you watch it, I'm interested what you think.

[Hannah]

I'm gonna watch it.

[Paige]

But also, the police, they have a lot of pressure to, like, look good in the eyes of the public.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So, like, them being like, we got this famous guy, caught him lying. How dare he? Also, there could be homophobia involved. There's just a lot of things going on.

[Hannah]

He's gay.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Paige]

Yeah. Maybe that was the vibe you were getting.

[Hannah]

Usually that is when there's, like, a straight man trying to say that he's not gay.

[Paige]

No, he's.

[Hannah]

Your aura's off.

[Paige]

He's fully out.

[Hannah]

Oh, good for him.

[Paige]

You're like, he didn't lie. He's perfect. He is perfect.

[Hannah]

Oh, man.

[Paige]

Finally, do you know what I. I've brought back Wackadoodle time.

[Hannah]

Wackadoodle time. What is that originally from?

[Paige]

I feel like Lisa Rinna or one of them was goes, it's whack. A Doodle time, Wackadoodle time. It's just started coming out of my mouth lately when shit's been getting crazy. I just go, it's wackadoodle time. And it's made everything feel better around. When you feel overwhelmed, just say, it's wacky. It's whack a doodle time.

[Hannah]

I love that you've been really loving Lisa Rinna lately. I feel like. I feel like you've brought her up, like, multiple times when I've been with you.

[Paige]

Well, I feel like she's just culturally very relevant. Everything goes back to Lisa Rinna.

[Hannah]

Let me end on this note. That's extremely culturally relevant. I was sent a PR package the other day, and I get a lot of really good PR packages. Sometimes times. And I'm just like, you guys blew it out of the park with this one. I got an Ori. Oreos. Reese's collab. Pr. It changed my whole life. Have you gotten. Did you get that pr? They didn't care about you.

[Paige]

Wait, I don't. I feel like they might have sent it to the wrong address or something.

[Hannah]

So it's an Oreo cookie.

[Paige]

Wait, that's so Hannah coated. Why wouldn't they send it to me?

[Hannah]

Is it Hannah coated Oreos? Okay.

[Paige]

Actually, I'm not, like, huge on sweets, but, like.

[Hannah]

Yeah, you're not huge on sweets.

[Paige]

Okay, continue.

[Hannah]

Anyway, so it's an Oreo cookie, and then inside is Reese's peanut butter.

[Paige]

Cool. That's my perfect date.

[Hannah]

Literally. And you know that.

[Paige]

And you know that.

[Hannah]

That is my.

[Paige]

That's my perfect date.

[Hannah]

And you know that it is.

[Paige]

This is.

[Hannah]

They are not paying me. This is not an ad. Although I would love one because I've never genuinely used a product. My assistant came over. I go, it's gonna be a good day. Look what I got. The box is gone. They gave us one box. And I'm like, I don't know what that's gonna do for anyone, but I finished that immediately.

[Paige]

Can we normalize sending people food instead of flowers?

[Hannah]

Yes and no.

[Paige]

Yes and no. I mean, look, my edible arrangements Great. Don't last. If you don't eat them, then you get the fruit flies.

[Hannah]

I have to confess something. I did give away your Edible Arrangement.

[Paige]

Yeah, I know.

[Hannah]

Like, do you want to know why? There's something about, like, taking the cellophane off that. I'm like, ew. I'm like, I can't. Like, I'm not untying it, taking it down. Like, I'm like, get away.

[Paige]

Oh, my God.

[Hannah]

And my doorman. Thank you. They loved that.

[Paige]

Love me every time I get a birthday present.

[Hannah]

Yeah, we'll take that.

[Paige]

Wait, by the way, haven't got my birthday present.

[Hannah]

I forgot to give it. Bring it. Shoo. It's literally in a bag on my desk.

[Paige]

Okay, we'll talk about this offline.

[Hannah]

You're so greedy. And that's all the time we have for today.

[Paige]

Thanks for kaling. Special thanks to Duncan for supporting us this episode.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

This episode is sponsored by Cars.com I'm an expert shopper, like a black belt. But car shopping is a whole different story.

[Hannah]

That's where Cars.com comes in handy.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Cars.com has over 2 million cars to choose from, with up to 50,000 new ones added every day. So, yes, the options are basically endless. Whether you're suddenly in your cat talent manager era or entering your no pants and need heated seats era, There's a.

[Hannah]

Car for that on cars.com. personally, I'm feeling a chic works from.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Anywhere kind of vibe. And guess What? I found three cars for that exact aesthetic on Cars.com.

[Hannah]

Find your next possibility on Cars.com. where to next? Beth, you're in charge of ordering the.

[Paige]

Tacos for the meeting today. Yeah, I'm not going to order the tacos. Uh, what?

[Hannah]

I'm going to Easy Cater the tacos with EasyCater.

[Paige]

You can order from a huge variety.

[Hannah]

Of restaurants, track expenses and save time.

[Paige]

Nice.

[Hannah]

Oh, by the way, you're emailing the meeting notes, right? No, I'm going to easy mail them.

[Paige]

Where's my music?

[Hannah]

Sorry, Ben, there's no Easy Cater for that.

[Paige]

Easycater. The easy way to order food for work. Order [e-mail].