Giggling about sleuthing, ugly sweaters, and age gaps

Summary

Giggly Squad

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo

Episode: Giggling about sleuthing, ugly sweaters, and age gaps
Date: November 11, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Hannah and Paige bring their signature banter to a rainy New York day, mixing stories from Hannah’s Carnegie Hall show, comedic rants about fashion and aging, pop culture hot takes, Gen Z and Gen Alpha social commentary, and dating wisdom. The duo candidly shares personal anecdotes—family quirks, digestive mishaps, cat adventures, and the art of sleuthing in relationships—while poking fun at generational divides, social norms, and themselves.

Vibe: Unfiltered, fast-paced, hilarious and deeply relatable, with plenty of memorable one-liners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Updates & Performing at Carnegie Hall

• Rainy NYC Vibes, Fall Foliage Meltdowns ([00:52]-[02:25])
  • The pair riff on NYC in the rain and Hannah’s grievance with dramatic autumn leaves.
  • Quote (Hannah, 01:45): “Everything’s good, and then it gets cold, and they’re like, ‘I’m just going to kill myself.’ Like, it just seems kind of dramatic.”
• Hannah’s Carnegie Hall Show ([03:07]-[08:26])
  • Paige details the backstage chaos, with colorful observations about Hannah’s family: her mom’s calm, dad’s comic relief, and Dez’s (Hannah’s husband’s) anxious pacing and “retired henchman” Lululemon sweatsuit.
  • Quote (Paige, 06:09): “He has his head back, his eyes closed… really focused on the pattern of his breath work. You’ve been out there for 20 minutes already, you’re literally crushing.”
  • The emotional dynamic: Hannah’s confidence on stage vs. Dez’s nerves, and Paige observing the green room circus.

2. Cutting Dairy, Emergency Pasta & Green Room Eats

([08:26]-[13:30])

• Hannah’s struggle to give up dairy, “emotional support pasta,” and green room snack disasters.
  • Quote (Hannah, 09:17): “It was literally my emotional support pasta. Like, emergency pasta.”
• Real talk: Food becomes both a comfort and a generational/familial battleground.

3. Friendship FOMO & Backstage Guilt

([13:30]-[15:08])

• Paige feels disconnected from Hannah amidst her family and friends; both admit craving private time as besties.
  • Quote (Paige, 14:17): “It felt like you invited me to your birthday party, sleepover, but you had already transferred schools... we didn’t really, like, get to hang, but just know that I supported for you.”
• Both touch on the weirdness of “it being all about me” and the pressures of performing—for Hannah and her loved ones.

4. Thanksgiving Traditions: Turkey Trot vs. Turkey Rot

([15:22]-[17:34])

• The hosts debate the horror of “turkey trots” and embrace the idea of just “rotting” on the couch with cocktails.
  • Quote (Paige, 15:41): “There’s two types of people on Thanksgiving. People who turkey trot and people who turkey rot.”
• Sponsored bit blends seamlessly with personal stories.

5. Intergenerational Friendships & Age Gaps

([18:08]-[23:28])

• Hannah recounts an awkward FaceTime with a Gen Z TikToker shocked to learn Hannah is 34 and married.
  • Quote (Hannah, 21:10): "Honestly, I felt like I disappointed her... she just goes, dead ass, I thought you were 27."
• Discussion pivots to how women are viewed differently after marriage or kids, and playing “social experiments” with age.

6. Gen Alpha/Millennial Social Codes: Sleuthing, Cheating & Loyalty

([25:24]-[31:55])

• Paige rants about trending TikToks where young women out their friends' cheating to boyfriends.
  • Quote (Paige, 26:38): “Basically, Gen Alpha is saying if your best friend cheats on her boyfriend and you don't tell on her, like, you’re a bad person.”
• Hannah and Paige defend best-friend-ship-over-bro-codes and giggle about millennial vs. Gen Z/Alpha morality.
• Explores how they individually approach friends’ relationship drama—as question-askers, not judges.
• Quote (Paige, 29:43): “You’re very inquisitive and you’re like, ‘And do you think that sounds normal?’”

7. Their Approach to Dating, Sleuthing, and Phone Snooping

([42:48]-[47:54])

• Hannah’s “street interviews” question: “Have you ever gone through a girl’s phone?” sparks tales of sleuthing, trust, and psycho-ex behavior.
• Paige brags about her sleuthing skills—and lack of regret.
  • Quote (Paige, 45:48): “I’ve cracked iPhones. I’ve cracked iPads. I’ve gotten computer passwords. ... I don’t regret a single second of it.”
• Debate over whether going through a phone signals a relationship's end; Paige loves the “adrenaline,” Hannah calls it a warning sign.
• Hilarious moment ([47:41]):
  • "When you look through a guy's phone, you have to do it on the toilet. Your body thinks there's a lion chasing you and it needs to reject all your innards.”

8. Pop Culture Catch-up: Nails, Ugly Sweaters, and Dakota/Missoni Confusion

([36:03]-[42:34])

• Nail art fads & Haley Bieber; Paige’s hatred of patterns, Hannah’s vintage Missoni “3D” sweater roasted.
  • Quote (Paige, 37:10): "Your sweater... is actually making me nauseous."
• Confuses Dakota Johnson with Dakota Fanning for several minutes, then riff on childhood stars and career pivots.
• Classic exchange ([40:17]):
  • Hannah: “You are dumb. But sometimes you say shit that’s so smart it, like, freaks me out.”
  • Paige: “And that’s my superpower.”

9. Giggler Community Shout-outs & Fan Interactions

([58:13]-[60:28])

• Paige describes buying Giggler art for her apartment and the interconnectedness of their fanbase.
• Hannah on being recognized by fans at airports: “They just look, they know me... they’re used to me.”

10. Cat Tales and Homeowner Fails

([62:43]-[64:40])

• Hannah’s panic when her cat Butter is missing and a door is wide open, only to find Butter unimpressed by the outdoors.
• Quote (Hannah, 64:12): “She’s literally in the corner looking at me like, ‘Mom, shut that door. The door is open. You’re freaking me the fuck out.’”

11. Dogs, Judging Pet Cuteness, and Awkward Encounters

([65:15]-[66:52])

• Paige admits she only showers affection on cute dogs; they riff on awkward dog-owner interactions.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Relationships:
  • "He has his head back, his eyes closed… really focused on the pattern of his breath work." (Paige, 06:09)
  • "It was literally my emotional support pasta.” (Hannah, 09:17)
  • “Once I feel like I need to look at his phone, it’s over.” (Hannah, 47:38)
• On Gen Z:
  • "She just goes, dead ass, I thought you were 27.” (Hannah, 21:10)
  • "You don’t speak directly to her. I will speak to her." (Hannah, 61:01)
• On Millennial vs. Gen Z/Alpha:
  • “I could have solved multiple murders.” (Paige, 48:30)
• On Fashion:
  • “Your sweater... is actually making me nauseous.” (Paige, 37:10)
  • “This looks like right when you’re about to throw up. What you see.” (Hannah, 37:45)
• On Pet Parenting:
  • “Mom, shut that door. The door is open. You’re freaking me the fuck out.” (Hannah as Butter, 64:12)

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Timestamps for Essential Segments

• Rain, Leaves, and Life Update: 00:52 – 02:26
• Carnegie Hall Show & Family Antics: 03:07 – 08:26
• Dairy Drama & Green Room Snacks: 08:26 – 13:30
• Friendship FOMO & Stage Guilt: 13:30 – 15:08
• Turkey Trot vs. Turkey Rot: 15:22 – 17:34
• Gen Z Friend FaceTime & Age Gaps: 18:08 – 23:28
• Gen Alpha Cheating Ethics: 25:24 – 31:55
• Dakota Name Mix-up & Ugly Sweaters: 36:03 – 42:34
• Sleuthing Stories & Phone Snooping: 42:48 – 47:54
• Giggler Community & Fan Encounters: 58:13 – 60:28
• Cat Lost & Found Story: 62:43 – 64:40

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Final Thoughts

The episode is a classic Giggly Squad blend of chaos and candor, jumping from high-glam showbiz moments to neurotic daily struggles, all filtered through the hosts’ lens of dirty jokes, self-deprecation, and deep friendship. Whether you’re 20 or 40, single or married, obsessed with TikTok or haunted by your old Facebook messages, you’ll feel seen, entertained, and probably a little less alone in your embarrassing stories.

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Transcript

[A]

Okay, besties. Today's episode is sponsored by Cars.com. wherever life takes you next and whoever you're looking to be, there's a car for that on cars.com. here's the tea. They add up to 50,000 cars daily. Like, imagine refreshing your closet every day with 50,000 new options. Yeah. Insane. That means you're literally shopping over 2 million cars. 2 million possibilities. So whether you're going practical, bougie, or comfortable like me, they've got you covered. So find your next possibility on cars.com. where to next? Sup, gigglers? Gary, fix your Wi Fi.

[B]

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

[A]

I mean, the day just got away from me.

[B]

What's up, my green Gigglers?

[A]

Okay, low effort today, but we'll try again next week. You know, it's crazy that you've actually. You've actually been doing that for, like, what, 450 episodes?

[B]

And you guys, I don't know if you could tell, but I don't prepare it. I see if it comes. Well, I was gonna say sour grape, and then. I think I've said that before. And then I was gonna say. I don't know. I don't want to get you guys into my thought process. Yeah.

[A]

Because it's.

[B]

It's extreme, my whole process. How are you?

[A]

I'm good. How are you? It's a rainy, disgusting day.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Honestly. It's, like, romantic. It's just.

[A]

I love New York City when it rains because no one goes outside. Everyone's home.

[B]

Can I say something controversial?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I have to talk about leaves. Okay.

[A]

You have a personal gripe against foliage?

[B]

I just think, like, they're all, like, everything's good, and then it gets cold, and they're like, I'm just going to kill myself. Like, it just seems kind of dramatic. Like there's other ways to go about life than just chucking yourself off the tree.

[A]

I really feel like we have, like, the same experience every day, just in different fonts. Because I was driving down the west side highway this morning before it started raining, and I was just like, fall in New York City is so gorgeous. So gorgeous, so beautiful. And then one day, it's just like, you know what?

[B]

Haunted dirt?

[A]

No, but they're all on the sidewalk, the leaves.

[B]

There's coping mechanisms. You don't have to go from just green to dead. Like, let's, like, discuss some emdr. Like, maybe there's something you could do.

[A]

You know what? I've noticed that when we start the pod, we do, like, the first five minutes of, like, just, hey, how's the weather? Like, working in the office, and we've just, like, met each other at our desk. And then, like, in five minutes, and.

[B]

I'm like, tell me about the family.

[A]

And then she had an abortion, and he didn't know.

[B]

We're like, wait, what? In the beginning, we stay light. Okay. Because we don't know if this people's first time listening. We don't want to freak them off immediately. I mean, we did make a pretty serious joke there, but we had a fun weekend.

[A]

We had such a fun weekend. Hannah performed at Carnegie hall, which was. How did that feel?

[B]

It was regal. It was elegant. I was joking that my nana was like, I saw Frank Sinatra here. Why are you here?

[A]

One of my favorite things about Hannah, about you performing, is how everyone in your immediate family also prepares for your performance. Your mom is captain of the ship. Calm, cool, collected, Literally throw anything at her. She's like, I've actually already figured that out 10 minutes ago. You're late on it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your dad, happy to be involved, tries.

[B]

To make a little sense.

[A]

What time you think we're getting out of here? Are there snacks? What have you been up to? Easy, chill, guy. Nana and papa. Nana all about Nana.

[B]

And we love to z off the shoulder. She's like, is the photographer taking pictures?

[A]

She's like, and no one said anything about my red dress. I think that's rude. Papa just, like, in a pure delight. DEZ is my favorite person to observe in this situation because he doesn't go.

[B]

Until it's like a big moment.

[A]

It's actually like the largest man in the room having the largest emotions. First off, I walk into the green room, and it was as if it was silent. It was as if you were already performing in the hair and makeup chair. They were like, we've never seen this before. It's like 15 people just watching Hannah get hair and makeup.

[B]

They've never seen me look good before. They were like, going, my dad actually didn't understand what fake hair was.

[A]

I look at does. Does is in a full gray neoprene matching sweatsuit. He looks like a retired henchman. Like, he literally. If someone said, you have a gun on you, I'd be like, yeah, obviously he does. He's protecting the.

[B]

I got a guy. He's the guy.

[A]

He was the guy that night. He was the guy.

[B]

So he got this full Lululemon set. And I said, he looked like Travis Kelce walking into a game.

[A]

Then somebody said, I forget who it was. It was either, like, Ally or Caroline was like, why do you look like a Russian gymnastics coach right now?

[B]

There were just so many different things that he looked like for comfort.

[A]

So he's, like, so anxious before you go out, okay? He's literally pacing. He's up, he's moving around. He switched his seat, like, 10 times. Finally, you leave. You go out on stage. You're there. We're in the green room. We're watching you on tv. I'm like, surely. He's like, calm down. Because other people are, like, talking in the green room. So, like, we're listening to you. But like, every other joke, someone's, like, saying something in a conversation gets brought up. So in my head, I'm like, he's calmed down. Like, let me just check. Let me check on him, make sure he's calmed down. We're sitting next to each other, mind you. I turn my head and I start saying, are you more. I was gonna say, are you more relaxed?

[B]

When I look at him, he's praying.

[A]

He has his head back, his eyes close.

[B]

And I could tell he's really focused.

[A]

On the pattern of his breath work. You've been out there for 20 minutes already. You're literally crushing.

[B]

No one threw a tomato yet.

[A]

I go, are you? I go, okay, never mind. You're not more relaxed. He goes, sorry, I was just. I was just zoning in. I was meditating. I was like. It was actually the most romantic thing I've actually ever witnessed.

[B]

Thank you. So this man the most romantic thing you ever said to me. Because at one point, like, he gets nervous before my shows, and I started to take offense to it. I was like, babe, I got this. Like, this is the one time.

[A]

Oh. Like, as if you, like, couldn't. You were taking it as if, like, he doesn't think I can do it.

[B]

Yeah. I'm like, this is the one time in my life I feel like myself and I feel confident. Anywhere else get nervous. Me at the DMV get fucking nervous. This I could handle. And he's like, no, it's just I can't watch people I care about perform. And I was like, you sweet, sweet, anxious man. So that's his thing. He literally. I was in the bathroom, and he starts knocking on the door. I'm like, what's going on? No, he came in, like, three times.

[A]

He was like, did Hannah come in here? Did you see Hannah?

[B]

I was like, I was just in the bathroom.

[A]

Who cares?

[B]

I go to the bathroom, like, eight times. I know.

[A]

You're like, no, I'M like, they just brought ginger ale. Who cares?

[B]

I opened the bathroom. I'm like, what's going on? Is Nana okay? And he's like. And he's like, there's an elevator. You gotta get in the elevator.

[A]

There were two entrances to the bathroom. I think you went out one as he was going in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he turned. He was like, didn't Hannah just go in here?

[B]

I was like, look, I keep the man on his toes. Yeah. He never knows what's gonna happen. I think the adrenaline is healthy in our relationship. You don't want guys to ever feel too calm around you. Wait.

[A]

Then there was a moment where you had ordered pasta, like, prior to the show, and it. You hadn't eaten it. Yes. And it was still in the container. I don't know why. Me and your family collectively just started guessing what kind of pasta you ordered until your mom opened it to see, like, if we were all right.

[B]

That's the most Italian shit, by the way.

[A]

Your mom's like, she's definitely got vodka sauce. And I was like, I'm going. I'm going.

[B]

Meat sauce. I didn't end up eating that pasta.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It was literally my emotional support pasta. Like, emergency pasta.

[A]

Nana almost ate it. And then she look, she goes, no.

[B]

Johnny, no. My cutting dairy has been a lot more difficult than I thought. Wait, I. I haven't fully committed to it, but every day I try. Like, in every day.

[A]

You just, like, threw that on us.

[B]

Well, you had mentioned I have to cut stuff. And then people are in my DMs.

[A]

So every. It's. It's really conscious. Like, at every meal, you're like, maybe.

[B]

Maybe not.

[A]

The extra strategies.

[B]

Yeah. So yesterday I was like, okay, I guess I won't get the. The, like, American cheese omelette. But then I was like, is goat cheese dairy? And they were like, yeah. And I was like, okay.

[A]

You're like, I guess I won't get the quatro cheese pizza.

[B]

So I was supporting goats. And so then I got eggs with no cheese, which was, like, painful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Meat, potatoes, and pancakes. Turns out pancakes have dairy and the butter I put on the pancakes. So we're walking somewhere. I shit myself. Not like you guys.

[A]

Not, like.

[B]

Not, like, full on. I know. We have to explain on the pod. What's.

[A]

There's definitely.

[B]

There's a range that was just a regular. Like, I stopped it, by the way. Italy. Great place. Great bathrooms for bathrooms.

[A]

Awesome.

[B]

And then centrally located. Today for lunch, I was like, I got, like, chicken with a side of Sweet potatoes. So healthy, so boring. And then I got, like, a kale salad, ate it. It was a kale Caesar. Like, dairy keeps finding. It finds you, it finds me. And at this point, it sounds like it's not my business.

[A]

Well, I'm not. Like, I agree. I'm not getting crazy with. If I. If I turn into someone that's like, I'm sorry, I can't have the Caesar dressing just shoot me. Like, truly.

[B]

I know, but I guess the whole point of, like, cutting dairy is like, a. So that I could.

[A]

This is just something we talk about. Complain.

[B]

I ordered pasta and they were like, do you want a side of ricotta? And I was like, yeah, you can't eat it without us. Like, that's just rules. Like, you can't break rules of life.

[A]

You gotta.

[B]

It's very simple. It's.

[A]

We're not arguing our ancestors. If they're offering it, we're taking it.

[B]

So do you want my great grandma to roll over in her grave, be haunted by her ghosts?

[A]

Okay, so did you eat before your Carnegie hall show? Because, you know, looked actually so extremely fit.

[B]

Thank you. I'm going to be honest with you guys. It's not as big. It's not. But I would appreciate some rumors. I. After reality tv, was super depressed for three years and couldn't work out.

[A]

And that'll do it.

[B]

That'll do it. So I. The way my body works is just that, like, I've always been an active kid. Go make me chase a ball. Like, I'm just an active person. So, like, when I wasn't working out at all, my body, like, really was upset. And now I'm like, back on.

[A]

Wasn't your body's norm?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where my body was like, we'll just follow us.

[B]

So my body was, like, mad at me, but I was like, I can't get myself to, like, have hope in the gym. Yeah.

[A]

So now you've been like, well, you're doing better. Pilates.

[B]

I'm doing better. I'm doing Pilates. So it's more like finding out what works for your body and how do.

[A]

You feel in Capri And a heel on a stage.

[B]

Okay. Thank you for your inspiration, your belief in me, your seal of approval. Before I went out on stage, all those things were important. They're these Norma Kamali capris that are, like, soft so you don't feel like sausage in. Yeah. But also stretchy enough that you're, like.

[A]

All of her style. Very comfortable.

[B]

So it was normal Kamali. And the heels for sometimes A heel I can tolerate. So it was good. I felt good.

[A]

It looked phenomenal.

[B]

How did it feel to show up to a green room with me and not have to put in any labor on stage?

[A]

I loved it. I loved every.

[B]

At first I was like, is she my only fomo?

[A]

I had zero fomo.

[B]

But you looked so happy. You're calm, you're laughing, slapping your knee.

[A]

My only gripe gripe with you is, what's your like rider in green rooms? What are you, like, training for an ironman? Like the protein bars and Gatorade? I was like, where's the meat and cheese? Where. Where's the fresh fruit platter?

[B]

I should have a fresh fruit platter.

[A]

No Diet Coke. We. We were all so thirsty for a Diet Coke. I was like, surely she put Diet Cokes on a rider.

[B]

That would be insane not to be so cheap. But I found out that your rider. I thought they just got you Hannah Lucy Burner. Turns out, no, it's. No, it comes out of my pocket. What's in the rider? You didn't know that?

[A]

I didn't know that because I. Cause a Ritz cracker is not on the top of my list to be concerned.

[B]

No. That's so valid. I also just. When you do it every day, if I have a meat and cheese platter every night.

[A]

No, I get it.

[B]

It starts to be like, too. I get swollen. Yeah. And that's my burden to bear. But I apologize. There's also no alcohol.

[A]

Oh. I didn't even, like, care about that. It was more like I poorly planned.

[B]

I was like, I could have done a charcuterie board if I had any respect for the people coming to visit me.

[A]

Well, that's what I thought. I thought you would host in some capacity.

[B]

I had pasta for me just sitting there and.

[A]

And a. And a room full of people complimenting you. I was like, okay, what are we wrapping this portion of?

[B]

What is going on?

[A]

You know, it's also so selfish. Like, obviously, I knew I was going to your green room and like, you were going to have other friends and your family there. But when I get in a room with you and I haven't had a lone time with you, I feel very disconnected.

[B]

I actually was getting a little anxiety because I was like, can we have a second?

[A]

I was like, stop talking. I just saw my friend. We haven't even given each other the first five minutes of gossip.

[B]

Imagine me being like, hey, a fam. Give me a second. We have to talk some serious.

[A]

You want to know what it felt like it felt like you invited me to your birthday party, sleepover, but you had already transferred schools, and so now you're in a new school and you have all new friends, and, like, you invited me, and it was like, hey, we didn't really, like, get to hang, but, like, just know that I supported for you.

[B]

Literally, that's what it was like. I looked at you, and you. I was like, are you. At one point, I said, are you okay? And you're like, yeah, I'm good. I'm like, okay.

[A]

And then I found a seat in the corner and I drank my water, and I just, like, I minded my own business.

[B]

I know this sounds so weird, but I actually don't like when it's, like, all about me. No, it's a little.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

It's a little.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, it's a little uncomfortable. No, it's un.

[A]

I get that.

[B]

It's like, once everyone was there, I was like, okay, now I feel a little.

[A]

Well, because there is a pretty pressure of being like, is that, like, is. Do you need anything? Even though, like, you're going out to do this thing, and it should be like, you should be the calm one.

[B]

But that's before the show. I actually was, like, thinking about a lot of things, and I was like, oh, I have to go on.

[A]

And, like, Nana was missing at one point. Like, just, like, minor things, like, small details.

[B]

She is swift. Yes.

[A]

You take your eye off her verse again. She's down.

[B]

You lose her. There's two types of people on Thanksgiving. People who turkey trot and people who turkey rot. We don't have to say who we are, but it's me now. But turkey trot, that's a. You have to get born into that. I don't think you choose to be a turkey trot.

[A]

That's something from your lineage. Yeah.

[B]

You didn't know that you couldn't. And, like, you just think that's what people do. If you don't even know what a trick or trot is, like, you're running a 5K.

[A]

If I married into a turkey trot family, divorce would be immediate. Divorce. Dismissal of this whole.

[B]

I know what you would do. At first, you'd say you have a stomachache. And that would work the first year. The second year, you would say, you have an eye infection. Yeah. And they're like, you could still run with eye infection. You were like, it's in my leg.

[A]

And then third year, I'd be like, I have a family of my own. I have to go.

[B]

I have a family. Emergency. And they're like, we are your family. And you're like, exactly.

[A]

This segment is sponsored by Tito's handmade Vodka. One thing about me on Thanksgiving, and this may come as a surprise, but I don't help. The beginning of Thanksgiving, not my business. I'm on the couch. My dad has made me a wintertime cocktail. I'll help clean up after. But the before nonsense, none of my business.

[B]

See, I do help by not being involved. Cuz I would just things would go awry. And my mom knows that and she goes, you want to help me get out of the kitchen?

[A]

Yeah, if you want to help me, leave me alone.

[B]

And I grab my cocktail and I say, of course.

[A]

And if you need me for comedic relief, I will be just in the other room.

[B]

My personality will be there. If you need it, you just give me a call. But you know when you need like personality breaks on Thanksgiving, like you just sit in the bathroom for like 10 minutes, like, yeah.

[A]

And Tito's really gets us because that's why they launched a turkey rot. And this is for all the people that don't want to trot and they want to rot with a cocktail.

[B]

You have community.

[A]

Yeah, we're here for you.

[B]

Or you can wake up, run, and then lay down and rot. You could do both. Two for one. I do have to say a lot of turkey trots are for charity, which, like, I support them, but I love that Tito's handmade vodka is doing a turkey rot that gives back to charity. They're teaming up with Meals on Wheels America. We're obsessed with you guys.

[A]

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[B]

I have a funny story and I'm not gonna name names, but there's like this really cool tiktoker who's taking a liking to me and I don't know why and I don't really know them that well. But like other people their age, like Gen Z knows them all and she Just, like, loves my comedy. And I'm like, this is so cool. So she'll randomly text me like, do you want to go out tonight? And I was like, oh, my God, no. Oh, my. Thank you so much.

[A]

And not at all.

[B]

When they first ask, are you in New York City? You say, yes.

[A]

Oh, I think that should be an illegal text. First of all. How dare you? Texting someone and immediately asking them for their location. Unless your name are Kim and Gary. Get out of my phone. Get out of my phone.

[B]

Are you in New York City? It's like, okay. About to rob you.

[A]

Yeah. Like, for what?

[B]

For what? So I'll be like, yeah. And they're like, do you want to go out tonight? And then I have to get into, like, deep lies. But anyway, so she's been, like, so nice trying to get me to hang with her. I'm like, who does she think I am? Yeah, but it's fine. Whatever.

[A]

I mean, imagine if she was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I thought you were Hannah Einbinder.

[B]

Like, she just got that Instagram girl stuff. My missing go about your night, whatever you're doing with your cat, both your comedy.

[A]

But honestly, gorgeous redheads, both really funny. I don't want to hang out with both of you.

[B]

So I get a random Cold call FaceTime from her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So Gen Z, in my motherly energy, I'm like, she's. You put your glasses. She's in trouble. Like, she's in trouble. I'm like, if she had to go to this part in her phone, like, something bad's happened.

[A]

She's in jail. Her phone's cracked. She could only get to the H's in her contact list.

[B]

Yeah. Or maybe she couldn't tell her family she's hiding something. Yeah. And I'm just, like, in a hotel room and, like, Maine.

[A]

Yeah, you're like it.

[B]

And she's just like, hey.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she's like, I just saw your new tour dates. Like, I have to come to your show. And I'm like, I would love for you to come to my show. And we're, like, randomly just, like, talking. And it, like, feels. I'm like, okay, do you have a new best friend? Yeah. And then she says. I say something, and I'm like, well, yeah, my husband. She goes, because if people don't know that I'm married, like, outside the Gigglers, no one knows I'm married. Yeah. So it's like, no one knows. So she goes, you're married? And she goes, how old are You.

[A]

I'm Jenny. And I.

[B]

And I sense the tide shifting a little, and I feel. Starting to feel a little exposed.

[A]

She's like, sorry, the phone's breaking up.

[B]

You're like, we're on FaceTime. And I go, Babe, I'm 34. And she goes, what? Like, so the light in her eyes, like, she literally. Anna, like, I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't lie to her. Right. It's my fault. I give young energy. Yeah.

[A]

You're like, sorry for.

[B]

She looks at me and there's, like, an awkward silence.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm just like, honestly, I felt like I disappointed her. Like, I don't know what.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she just goes, dead ass. I thought you were 27. I said, first of all, don't say dead ass to me. She goes, I thought you were 27.

[A]

And I go, you kiss your mother with that, Mom?

[B]

I go, what do we say about using bad words? It is past your curfew, babe. So for a second, I'm like, wait, that's amazing. She thought I was 27.

[A]

But that's honestly. And you can end the year on a high.

[B]

But she goes, I literally thought, you're 27. And I'm like, that explains why she's been texting me to, like, hang out all the time. And she's like, young. Like, younger than 27. Yeah. So then I'm. I'm like, yeah. And then the conversation kind of faded a little, and she's like, okay, like, talk to you later. And I'm like, she's not going to text me.

[A]

She's like, hope you remember all your meds today.

[B]

Bye. She's like, have fun at water aerobics.

[A]

She's like, I'll share your content with my grandma.

[B]

She'll probably like it, too. Good luck with having jello for dessert. So anyway, I was, like, literally cool for a second. I didn't realize it, and then I fucked it up. But this is the thing. Do we start lying about our age when young people want to hang out with us?

[A]

No. If anything, we go older. That is not something I want to get involved in.

[B]

This moment where she literally was like, ew. She also was like, you're older than the oldest guy I've ever hooked up with. And I was like, wait till I tell you about my husband. Wait till I see my husband get off the call. And I know, like. Cause, like, we. We are getting older and I don't talk about it a lot. And, like, I love getting older.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, but, like, having A young person gag at you just for being you was, like, a little disheartening.

[A]

No. Not to take it on, like, a serious note, but, like, when women get married and have children, you are looked at completely different by every single person in the world. Like, all of my mom friends all went through identity crisises, if not still going through it. Like, sorry, it really, like, no matter what, you're now your mom, your mom, your wife. Ew. You're, like, disregarded. Like, it changes your whole life.

[B]

I don't tell people I'm married. One, to protect the brand, and two, because it's kind of a social experiment to see how they treat me. And then once I tell them I'm married, they always go, you don't seem like you're married. But that's also funny. It's like, so what do married people seem like?

[A]

Well, we don't make.

[B]

Was he jokes on stage.

[A]

Well, we. We've. We don't make, like, our significant others ever. Our personality. Like, you've never posted, but even before you got married, you never posted a boyfriend. I never posted a boyfriend on Instagram. Like, even when I had one. Like, it's not. We're just, like, a little bit different, I feel like, in that. So, like, we de center men, but it doesn't mean we don't want to have sex with them. You know?

[B]

Like, there was.

[A]

Shoot.

[B]

I forget what video it was, but it was similar to my, like, opening Netflix joke where I was like, I not afraid of aging. Like, I can't wait till I age them. Unkidnappable. Yeah. Like, how freeing that, like, you walk down the street and, you know, no man is gonna try to, like, yeah, tie you up and put you in a van. And some lady was like, I can't wait to get older. You're telling me men won't want to have sex with me? Like, sounds like a fucking dream. Like, don't tempt me with a good time.

[A]

Like, a quiet night.

[B]

It sounds like a quiet, easy life. So it's like de centering. Also, the idea of, like, that getting older means that, like, people don't. It's good if people don't want to hang out.

[A]

I love it. It's like, I'm so happy to get to this point in my Life.

[B]

In your 20s, you can't get out of plans. Like, I have to say, like, I'm, like, violently ill or, like, have a migraine where my 30s, I could just be like, I'm 30. Sorry. No, 34. I can't go out?

[A]

No, I literally. My girlfriend asked me to hang out, like, with her husband, like, two weeks ago. And I said her back. And I'm like, katie, I'm so sorry, I have to sleep. And she's like, no, say no more. She's like, no, take a night and sleep. I'm like, I can't.

[B]

When we're touring, like, or just existing, I have almost only so much time in New York City. I'm like, oh, I have to see my family.

[A]

Yeah, it's not even about balancing a social life anymore. It's like, sorry, I have to call my mother. I haven't talked to. Wait. I have another gripe with the younger generations. And this isn't even Gen Z, it's the ones below this. I don't ever want to get mixed up with them ever. So the worst thing that can ever happen on your TikTok algorithm is when it gets into this weird, funky algorithm where all the videos, you have to read them. No, it's the worst for you.

[B]

It's like a girl.

[A]

It's like a girl, like, dancing and then it's all these white letters and I'm like, oh, where do I even start? But I kept getting the same one, like, over and over. And these girls were young and it would start out like, if you told me you cheated on your. If my best friend told me she cheated on her boyfriend, he would be my next call. But y' all ain't ready for that conversation. And I'm like, I could. I had to, like, reread it because I'm like, I don't know.

[B]

Are you saying she would take the boy side?

[A]

So then I like, keep getting them and, like, written in different ways. And I'm like, looking the comments now.

[B]

It's a sign. Like, now you're like, now I'm like.

[A]

Wait a minute, what are you idiots saying?

[B]

You're like, carry the one.

[A]

So basically, Gen Alpha is saying that, like, they have this, like, really random morality, like, superiority complex, but they're basically saying that if your best friend cheats on her boyfriend and she tells you and you don't tell on her and you remain her friend, like, you're a bad person.

[B]

Yes. Okay, first of all, when a woman cheats on a man, there's a reason.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

He deserved it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When a man cheats on a woman, that was him having an impulsive, fucked up mistake and you can never trust him again. Those are two very different situations.

[A]

Hannah, you could call me and say, I've just murdered exactly 1 2, eight people and I would literally say, your best friend for life.

[B]

Like, what? I would be like, what did they do to you? Just tell me. And they could literally be like, oh, they like honked at me when I was walking across the street.

[A]

Kill that guy. Kill the fucking guy. Like, I'm so shocked. And then I then obviously, because like, I looked through the comments, then I started getting more videos about it and it was all millennials being like, you guys are fucked.

[B]

Also, it's not cheating when you're 13, but.

[A]

Well, that was the other thing I was gonna say. You guys are like in college also cheating on your boyfriend when you're 22. Like, oh, get a fucking grip. Like, who cares?

[B]

Like, everyone comes in with a like hometown boyfri girlfriend and then you cheat on them and then you learn that you aren't in love with them and gonna marry them.

[A]

Right? Obviously if we're talking about like people are married, you're having full on affair. Like, that is like a completely different situation. But in Your like early 20s, I just couldn't imagine my friend calling me and saying anything and me calling her boyfriend. What I've learned or like me acting like I'm better than her.

[B]

What I've learned is I don't take action when it comes to other people's relationships. I'll ask questions, I'll talk it through, I'll be a soundboard for them. But like, you don't know what's going.

[A]

On and I can vouch for you.

[B]

Thank you. You don't know what is going on behind closed doors.

[A]

As a friend.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

As your friend, where you helped me through like so many relationships. I've never known your actual feeling toward any man that I've dated unless I really, really was like, give me your deepest feeling about this person. But you're so right. You're very inquisitive and you're like. And do you think that sounds normal?

[B]

You're very like a teacher would do it. The truth is you can't tell someone how they should feel. And then also, I don't know how you should feel.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I'm actually also trying to get more information about it to be like, do I have enough evidence to support my hypothesis? You know what I mean? I have a hypothesis.

[A]

I have just like a moment that I get like is burnt in my brain and I don't even know what we were talking about. But I remember we were sitting in.

[B]

A car, all our memories are in a car.

[A]

And you looked at me and you Go and do you think that's normal?

[B]

Like, it was such an obvious question. No. You know when your friend starts asking you crazy shit that, you have to be like, whoa, whoa. And you're like, how do you get here?

[A]

This is a little bit too in the wee.

[B]

But that's also like. Yeah, you can't force someone to think a type of way. You want to make them feel like it's their decision. That's how I deal with men.

[A]

Also, if my best friend. If I'm 19 years old and my best friend calls me and she's like, I cheated on my boyfriend last night. First I'm getting all the tea. Yeah, like, what? Yeah, so these kids can't even gossip.

[B]

Did you have fun? Like, what, did you meet him? What happened?

[A]

Like, what.

[B]

What was the move? I. Also insane.

[A]

The kids are insane these days.

[B]

Well, they're also saying the kids aren't having sex, so no one's cheating on anyone. What is it holding hands?

[A]

Well, they're going to have no friends either.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, okay, do you want to fuck him? I don't think you should ever talk to your best friend's boyfriend unless it's necessary. Yeah. Unless you're getting evidence. Unless you're, like, prying. Unless you're stuck in a third wheel situation.

[A]

Me and Des have ever had a one on one convo.

[B]

You, like, just got each other's numbers. But you guys are.

[A]

We just met.

[B]

You're too powerful together. Like, your energies are too similar.

[A]

We're so Scorpio that I was, like, leaving Hannah's thing and I was walking past DEZ and like, said hi or said bye, and then I was like, oh, I should hug dez. But we both were like, should we hug?

[B]

We're like, not about the hug. It was making me laugh so much because you were my two prickly, grumpy babies, and I just wanted to. To squeeze you both.

[A]

And we sat next to each other the whole time. And, like, did you feel like you.

[B]

Were watching your daughter in the same position?

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, it was so funny because people.

[A]

Would come in and they'd be like, oh, Hannah's husband does. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm with her. Like, probably the same amount, if not more. I'm her partner. Like, I was being introduced as your, like, your podcast partner. And I was like, you go, it's more than that.

[B]

It's life partner.

[A]

You could just say partner. Why am I. You don't need to put a podcast in there. This is her husband, but I'm her partner just podcast.

[B]

That's like up. That's so up.

[A]

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[B]

Okay. Okay. Also, did you see what my friend Haley Bieber posted? No. She posted crazy nails.

[A]

I didn't see it. What were they?

[B]

Everyone was different. Different colors. I think there was a fish involved.

[A]

It's so you guys.

[B]

No, but I'm, like, worried for our nation. Like, I think it's a recession indicator that Kaylie Bieber is going nuts on the nails. I mean, I also don't want her to enable me like that. Don't open up the floodgates. Cause then I'll start getting crazy. This was me trying to be restrained. Also, I need to get my nails done. They've grown out. Well, when Haley does something, I feel like everyone does it. So do you think all the girls are gonna go Nutso now with 3D nails?

[A]

I mean, I think nail art has been having a moment for a while, I think. And I think it is, like, such a fun, like, easy way to express yourself. But I, for me personally, like, I can see something just so much before I'm like, oh, see ya.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, when things are super busy and you're looking down, like, then it makes my.

[B]

You hate a pattern.

[A]

I hate a pattern. Like, your sweater right now is, like, actually making me nauseous.

[B]

Like, what in the Blu Ray DVD.

[A]

Screen saver is this goddamn cardigan. I've been literally wanting to ask since we sat down, where did you find this cardigan?

[B]

It's vintage Missoni.

[A]

Oh, is it?

[B]

Okay, can you apologize to Missoni?

[A]

No.

[B]

Because it's not your favorite word. No, I can't.

[A]

I can't apologize to them.

[B]

I don't like patterns either. Unless it's a sweater.

[A]

This looks like if you put on 3D glasses, it would do something cool.

[B]

This looks like right when you're about to throw up. What you see? This looks like third tequila shot. When you start to fall. When a guy tries to kiss you and you don't know what he looks like, this is what you see.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What were we just saying? You're talking about nails. Speaking of crazy shit, though, have you seen Pluribus?

[A]

No.

[B]

Do you know what a Pluribus is?

[A]

No.

[B]

Neither do I. What is show on hbo? It's like in the severance spot.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it was by the Breaking Bad Guy. Sorry, this is like male stuff that I heard. Like, not on purpose, but I'm repeating already, is like 100% around tomatoes. It's a really cool, like, I don't want to say sci fi. Cause I don't want to freak people out because it's about, like, normal people. Okay. But it's like a little apocalyptic. It's a little bit about, like, some disease that happens in the world and it changes everyone's perspective about things.

[A]

I've been watching the new Dakota Fanning show.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

It's on Peacock, and it's called All Her Fault, and it's like eight episodes. It's like a mystery, like Thriller, but it's really good. The girl from Succession's in it. Oh, cool.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

It's very good.

[B]

And I love Dakota.

[A]

No, I love Dakota.

[B]

No, she's everything people don't talk about.

[A]

Like, she's been famous her whole life. People don't talk about how hard it is to be.

[B]

To be famous with bangs. People can't even see your face. Well, that's iconic.

[A]

But to like, have that long of a career, like, she's Been working consistently since she was, like, six.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And her sister.

[B]

Yeah. Who's her sister?

[A]

Her sister is Elle Fanning, and she's in, like, all different. I'm a big Fanning. Twin Fanning sisters.

[B]

Fan. Dakota's sister is not Elle Fanning. Yes, Dakota Fanning is Elle Fanning's sister. They're different people.

[A]

Yeah, they're sisters. Dakota Fanning and Elle Fanning are sisters.

[B]

Yeah, but Dakota Johnson is who you're talking about.

[A]

No, I'm talking about Dakota Fanning.

[B]

We've been talking about the wrong Dakota the whole time.

[A]

No, you have.

[B]

What? I was talking about Dakota Johnson the whole time.

[A]

Yeah. You're stupid. I keep hearing it. You can get on the spot. All you say is that I can't read, and everyone thinks I'm the dumb one. But in fact, fact, you're sitting here with a laser pointer sweater and you can't differentiate Dakotas.

[B]

I do have to say, to defend you, you are dumb. But then sometimes you say, shit, that's so smart, it, like, freaks me out.

[A]

And that's my superpower.

[B]

Just when I like. Yeah, just when you think you've got.

[A]

Me figured out, I hit you with some type of as a T word.

[B]

Or something, and I'm like, okay. She's knows what's going on. She's just pretending. Okay, Sorry. I was like, I guess Dakota Johnson's been around a long time.

[A]

Well, Dakota Johnson, that's why you were like, what are you talking about?

[B]

You know Dakota Johnson is related to the Rock Johnson.

[A]

No way.

[B]

I was just kidding. But no, Elle, Dakota. Dakota Fanning.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She took a break.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which, by the way, love recommend it for everyone. I wonder why. And I'm so happy she's back. Like a Hilary Duff. Mm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like her and Hillary Duff. They've never been, like, in the media. Like, they're drug addicts, they're party.

[B]

They're. These are all scenes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're just.

[A]

They've had very good reputation.

[B]

It is cool, though, to be like, I'm going to take a break. And then whenever you feel like it, be like, okay, I want to go beat a Hollywood star.

[A]

Yeah, again.

[B]

But, like, she.

[A]

Well, that's just, like, talent. She has talent.

[B]

Dakota Fanning was, like, a freak genius. Do you remember War of the Worlds?

[A]

You didn't even know who she was two seconds ago. Now you're going to quiz me on what? On World, the Worlds, whatever.

[B]

She has bangs. So that's why I got away with that comment.

[A]

They both did.

[B]

Yeah, they both have bangs.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Anyhow, speaking of bangs.

[A]

Wait, I didn't even say what I was going to say about them because we got into this whole tangent. Oh, my God, Hannah, you always do this. Okay, Dakota and Elephanting did this. Did, like, one of those Vanity Fair lie detector things, and I just feel like we have to do one of those.

[B]

No. Like, any. Any buddy comedy that we haven't done. Seems like an attack on us.

[A]

Yeah, like, we have to do that. So, anyway, that's all I wanted to say. It would be like a Hannah and Paige try new things, and it's just lie detectors.

[B]

It's just us asking the most, what's your Social Security number?

[A]

We just ask each other, like, stupid questions. Like, did you really like my outfit that time that you said that you did.

[B]

We know what the answer is. And you, like, show me a picture.

[A]

Like, just, like, funny things that you want to know from your friend you've never seen.

[B]

We can buy a lie detector.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I don't know. I feel like I know a guy.

[A]

I'm sure there's some girlfriend somewhere that has looked into it and has been like, you know what?

[B]

Oh, my God. Okay, so I had a moment, and I was like, in the city, and I was like, I want to bring back my street interviews for one night with the boys. And you know what question I asked them? Have you ever gone through a girl's phone?

[A]

Phenomenal question.

[B]

Am I crazy? Because, like, I've never been around a guy, and I'm like, they're not going through my phone. Like, for some reason, I'm like, they don't know how to. Yeah, but the men, I got a wide variety of answers. A lot of them were like, no, I don't know how to open a phone. And then some were like, yeah, but girls are smart. They're not just leaving their texts that. Obviously.

[A]

Way smarter.

[B]

One guy was like, this girl had it in her Gmail, and then it was a whole thing.

[A]

Well, guys would never go in at first because they would never want that coming back onto them where then you could go in theirs. They're not gonna. They're not that stupid. They're not even opening that can of worms. They're not even broaching the subject.

[B]

That's like Lily Allen, when she was like, I looked at a photo, and the way you took it back from me, I knew you cheated on me. Like, that's the most girl shit ever. Yeah.

[A]

Girls go by pure vibes and aura.

[B]

When you looked at his Phone. He took it back. The techni and the rushing.

[A]

I've seen profile pictures and been like, it's hard. And been, like, spot on. I'm like, yep. And that's. That's exactly his type. It's crazy.

[B]

I've been listening to the Lily album.

[A]

Wait. Have you ever gone through a phone?

[B]

This is so embarrassing. I've never gone through a phone.

[A]

It's not embarrassing. That's probably, like, the right way to be.

[B]

You, like, you like two types of girls. Girls who, like, get off on going through a phone verse. Yeah, I did have one guy back in the room.

[A]

You, like, respect privacy.

[B]

I don't respect privacy. I just respect.

[A]

We're like, if you're dating me, sorry, you live in Russia.

[B]

It's my rules.

[A]

There's zero privacy. Any money you make has to go immediately to me.

[B]

Early on with dez, our second time hanging out, he was. This is so. Not to age him, but he showed me the New York Times crossword puzzle on his phone, and he was, like, getting all of them. I'm like, how do you know all these 80s references? And he's like, I do. So, like, then he would. Every, like, couple hours, if we're on the phone, he would give me his phone to play the New York Times game because there was a subscription model. I was gonna pay $6 a month for a game that I wasn't good at.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So, like, early on in our relationship, I always had his phone. And there's something, like, hot about that. Yeah, and there's something hot about, like, not. I think it's. Cause, like, you kind of like the drama a little more than me.

[A]

A little. I love it. I thrive on it.

[B]

I really want to be like, I.

[A]

Go looking for problems.

[B]

I did have a guy that I did think had a drug addiction.

[A]

I could have figured it out for you.

[B]

I knew when his phone would go off late at night, it was his drug dealer. So then I just looked at him. I was like, is your drug dealer calling you? I didn't even look at it. And he was like, yeah. And I was like, okay, but I need to go through his phone because no girl's calling him at 2pm he was passed out high.

[A]

Like, I've cracked iPhones. I've cracked iPads. I've gotten computer passwords. I've blocked people from other people's phones. Like, I've done it all. And do you want to know one thing? I'll say I don't regret a single second of all this is my question.

[B]

After you see something you didn't want to see.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How quickly do you address it? Or do you even address it?

[A]

Totally situational. It all depends really what's going through my mind. That point is, like, you are a witch. You knew exactly what you were coming to look for. You knew it was there. You just needed the evidence. I'd love to be someone that's, like, super strategic. I'm trying. Like, I haven't even done it, but.

[B]

Do you see it? And then you go, okay, we're broken up.

[A]

It depends on what it is. It depends on my menstruation week. Like, there's so many factors. I wish I could be someone that could, like, sit in it and be like, let me plan how. I'm, like, broaching this, but I'm not. I'm one of those people that's, like, found it screenshotting it from, like, my own phone or sending it to myself and then immediately being like, do you.

[B]

Have something to tell me?

[A]

Yeah, I'll fucking kill you.

[B]

Or doing the whole. Yeah, like, do you want to tell me something? Yeah. And he's like, how'd you find out? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

[A]

No, I'm very open. I went through your phone, you dumb motherfucker. And I'll go through it again. My favorite thing, though, would be when people. When men would be like, you don't respect my privacy. I'm like, and you don't respect my vagina. Like, what are we talking about here? What are you, the FBI and this is. I'm leaking your data. Shut up. No, I don't respect your privacy.

[B]

Basically saying you don't respect me cheating. And it's like, yeah, I don't respect you cheating. Yeah.

[A]

And be better at it. Like, what?

[B]

Not to be all like, oh, but I feel like the second I feel like I need to look at his phone, it's over.

[A]

Yeah, but I love the adrenaline.

[B]

My favorite story you ever told was how you say when you. When you look through a guy's phone.

[A]

I have to show myself.

[B]

You have to shoot yourself. Because we were talking about laxative to do it in a bathroom. Stand up. Comedy is a laxative. Running's a laxative. And you're like, going through someone's phone. You have to do it on the toilet.

[A]

You have to.

[B]

Your body just. No, your body thinks there's a line chasing you, and it needs to reject every. All your innards.

[A]

If I could give one piece of advice.

[B]

If you're constipated Go through a guy's phone.

[A]

Yeah, go through a man's phone, but make sure you're doing it in a bathroom.

[B]

I was thinking how back in the day guys got in trouble a lot or girls with Facebook messaging. Cuz people would leave their face, they wouldn't log out. So you could, if you go on your computer. Yeah. Their page would be. Could be up. So people got in trouble with Facebook messaging a lot.

[A]

Yes. I've caught someone on Facebook messaging.

[B]

Yeah. But then nowadays Instagram is, well, you know, my favorite.

[A]

Used to be. And Instagram took it away. You could see like the people. Yeah. I could have solved multiple murders.

[B]

A man took that down. Yeah. A man at Meta was like, hey, this isn't working out for me anymore.

[A]

Kept my life going for a while.

[B]

You know, the women in Meta were fighting for that to stay. That was crazy.

[A]

That was my favorite feature of all time.

[B]

That's why you weren't going to classes. You were just refreshing to see his activities and see his moves. Also, are guys fucking stupid?

[A]

Yes. I mean, what.

[B]

Also, if your man ever commented a fire emoji. I don't care if he was single, if he's commenting fire emojis on girls photos that have like over 300,000 followers based on their hotness. I don't trust him.

[A]

You know what's funny is I've actually never dealt with this. I feel like. Because I feel like we were a little bit too old maybe. Like I've never dealt with a boyfriend that's followed like like a bunch of like Instagram models or like even like a lot of girls in general. But I feel like my TikTok, I get a lot of girls being like, it's embarrassing. Guys don't see it. Guys don't get what we're saying when we say like unfollow these girls or you're liking these girls pictures how like it's so embarrassing for us and that I would not be able to deal with. Because it is embarrassing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it may. It tells like other girls. He's saying like, yeah, I could be persuaded at any time.

[B]

Yeah. I also, I think with the Tick tock feed I was laughing though. Like I'd rather a guy fully have just like boobs all over his algorithm than him having just like alpha male, red pill type stuff.

[A]

Oh yeah, your hype value, man. Like a phrase.

[B]

Like if it's all that, yeah, I need a guy to have some boobs on the Explore page. Just the. They know that.

[A]

Just to know they're alive just to know. Just to know the blood they don't need.

[B]

Medical people get mad like, oh, there's like a hot girl. I'm like, yeah. TikTok knows he's straight. Like, that's all I want.

[A]

Yeah. I want that and like some sports bullshit.

[B]

Yeah. I just want like a man talking.

[A]

About that and like Stephen A. Smith's voice somewhere.

[B]

I'm like, all good.

[A]

We're good. You're straight. I'm happy. Perfect.

[B]

Yeah. Because this is the thing. If you tell him not to occasionally stop at a. Like, we've all had weirder things on our algorithms, like vacuum shit, just because you watched it an extra like six seconds.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, don't get mad at that. What do you want him to watch?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Nothing. I just stare into the fucking ceiling.

[A]

I want him to read more Most of us know we should take control of our finances, but it's so hard to know where to start. Rocket Money gives you the clarity and confidence to take that first step, helping you cut wasteful spending and take meaningful action toward your financial goals. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. You can get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your account, or if you're close to going over budget, and even when you're doing a good job. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.comGigglySquad today. That's RocketMoney.comGigglySwad RocketMoney.comGigglySequad if you're one of those people that has finally decided to pull the trigger on your side, hustle. Or maybe you're building a business from the ground up. Shopify is basically the cheat code for launching something legit. Everyone serious is using it, even if they're not talking about it. Shopify is the best place to start and grow a business, whether you have a clear vision or not. It's easy to choose a theme and make your store your own. And if it's just you, no problem. Shopify basically operates as your finance, marketing, and operations team all in one, replacing the need for a full staff so you can Stay focused on the things that actually matter. Imagine having a digital assistant that helps you sell your products seamlessly. Shopify is just that, for your business. We run Giggly Squad business on Shopify, and this commerce platform has not only made it so easy for us to start and run our business, but it's made it possible for us to scale and keep a tab on things effortlessly. Anytime I can open Shopify on my phone or laptop and see where you guys are shopping from and how many of you are checking out and what products are your favorite. So if you're ready to build your own empire, whether it's merch products or the next best idea, get on shopify.com giggly and make it happen so I recently had one of those moments where I stood in front of my closet and I said I have nothing to wear while surrounded by hundreds of things I never touch. So I started listing them on Depop and honestly, it's amazing. You can sell the pieces you're over and someone out there will be obsessed with them. And the best part? There's no seller fees. None. So the money you make actually stays in your pocket, which feels very chic. Plus, it's so easy. I listed something while watching TV and it sold before the episode even ended. Depop isn't just one aesthetic either. It's all of them. Minimal Streetwear, date night. Whatever your vibe is, there's someone who shares it. So download the Depop app and list your first item today because your old outfit might be someone else's new favorite. And don't forget to tune in to our latest bonus episode, where Hannah and I will take calls from the Giggly Squad Style Hotline. We're helping solve your fashion dilemmas, shopping woes, and style questions. Submit yours now at giggly style hotline.com for a chance to get your question answered by us on the show Depop, where taste recognizes taste.

[B]

You guys know I'm obsessed with skims. I literally live in their scoop of bra. And I love all their I call them granny panties, but they're just, you know, comfortable underwear. And as you guys know, we love sleep. We're very passionate about sleep here at Giggly Squad, and that's why I love the Skims pajama set. I love how soft it is. The Soft Lounge sleep set is lightweight, comfortable. I don't sweat in it and it's so cute. I love wearing it around the house. And Christmas morning I'm not looking like, gross and like a stained shirt of my dad's. I'm wearing a cute skim sleep set. They have a really cute old school just like flannel and really cute fun holiday designs. They also have like a feather trim one which is so cute and they also have like a fun cropped one. They just have so many different options and they have a teddy bear slipper so that's freaking adorable. But honestly you can't go wrong with their red flannel. It's classic, it's cute, it's quite cool. So shop my favorite [e-mail] after you place your order be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift for everyone on your list, the skims holiday shop is now [e-mail] I've.

[A]

Talked about say so many times on the pod. It's one of my favorite beauty brands. Not only is it clean and high performance makeup, but they're formulas just look amazing. I first heard about say from my makeup artist Taylor Fitzgerald and she literally swears by it. I've tried so many different products from them. Some of my favorites are obviously their blush. It's just like you literally need one dot and it lasts. And then their glowy super gel truly is. Well it's a reason that it's award winning. It truly makes your makeup look so different. If you do, do not use it. And then my other favorite is their slip tint tinted moisturizer. On those days that you really want to do no makeup makeup, it is the number one thing you need. And SAE's brand has set a new beauty industry standard. It has award winning formulas, sustainable packaging and a mission to feel good and do good for people and the planet. Find [e-mail] and every Sephora store across the United States and Canada. [e-mail].

[B]

I listened to all of Lilian's album on the plane. It's such a different experience when you're like in your headphones just sitting in it. Holy. That's an incredible album. And I've never been cheated on.

[A]

And you felt. Did you feel like justice? You've never been cheated on?

[B]

Not that I know.

[A]

That's a whole separate thing.

[B]

I know. Not that I know.

[A]

That's why you're so trusting. So you're so caring and you believe that everyone has a good side.

[B]

No, I know that wasn't my trauma for this lifetime.

[A]

It wasn't your cross to bear.

[B]

It wasn't my Cross to bear. They were like, you're good.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Well, it seems as though I was.

[A]

A fucked up person in my last life.

[B]

I don't relate to you. No. But the Lily Allen stuff, it's more. I like that every song was, like, different. I love that she had a perspective.

[A]

How many songs in her album?

[B]

It's like 14 and they're all good.

[A]

Wow. Is she our age? How old is she?

[B]

Which age are we talking? Me when I'm 27?

[A]

No, like our. Our.

[B]

I think she's 40.

[A]

Biological age.

[B]

I think she's 40.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

But again, what I love about hers too is she just was like, I'm gonna just be a it girl right now. Yeah.

[A]

She's like, I'm coming back and I'm actually.

[B]

I'm just gonna do it.

[A]

I'm gonna.

[B]

It just shows you. One day you could literally not be doing what you love, and the next day you. You can be. And by what you love, it's just singing about men who hurt you.

[A]

Life takes twists and turns.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

So remember when I was like, I want a picture for over my bed, but I just want, like, a Giggler.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I got tagged in 8 million things. I. I couldn't go through all of them. There's so. First of all, there's so many talented Gigglers. So I'm looking through all this stuff. I'm on Instagram, I'm on TikTok, and I keep getting tagged in this. This one. Tick tock. So I like, click it. And this girl, her name is Sophia. I'll put the picture in the newsletter and I'll put it on Giggly Squad and tag her so you guys can, like, look at her other art. It's perfect. She painted a girl with brown hair, like, laying in a bed, and it's like blues and whites. I bought it, she mailed it to me, and I hung it up and it's in my apartment. And that's.

[B]

That's Women in STEM and the stem.

[A]

Yeah, Women in stem.

[B]

That's amazing, you guys, because within the Giggler community, you can do anything.

[A]

This is also the craziest thing.

[B]

What?

[A]

Then I'm on a flight and my flight attendant was, like, friends with her sister. The Gigglers are all connected and they're all over the world. And it's scary.

[B]

They're all over the world, but they also feel like it's just eight girls.

[A]

No, literally, she's like, you know, so far. And I'm like, of course.

[B]

So Alec Culper, who I'm on the road just keeps making fun of, like, how the Gigglers say hi to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How? Like, it's not that they're not excited. They just like, look, they know me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're used to me in the airport. They're just like, hey, Hannah, what's up? And Ali's like, I can't tell if you know them or you don't. And I'm like, well, I don't. Not right. Like, I know who's a Giggler and who's not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And how the Gigglers are just like, hey, Han.

[A]

No, I was in the Toronto Airport the other day, and this one girl was, like, walking by me, and she was like, her flight had just gotten canceled to United States, and she was going on a bachelorette party, and she was like, my flight got canceled, and I can't go on my friend's bachelorette. And in my head, every giggler is my friend. I'm like, oh, my God, you're so lucky. I was like, I'm sorry. I did not mean that.

[B]

She's my sister.

[A]

I'm sure she's lovely. I'm sure you're looking forward to this trip.

[B]

That was also just you in your 30s. Like, any idea of a cancellation gets my heart fluttering.

[A]

I was like, so you're getting in an Uber to go back to your.

[B]

Own apartment to get in the bath?

[A]

Like, that's a dream. No, but then I face. Then I, like, felt bad internally, and I was like, well, why don't you FaceTime your friend?

[B]

And then we chatted, and now you're on the Bachelorette.

[A]

Yeah, but that's my dream, is to not have to go.

[B]

I saw this on TikTok. They say millennials, when we're making a big purchase, we pull out the laptop.

[A]

Yeah. Even when I actually have to write an important email, I have to write an email. Wait, see, I've gotten more used to buying flights on my phone because you have your app, So I don't pull out my computer for flights anymore.

[B]

But if it's a lot of flights, I do it on the computer, but one I'll do on my phone.

[A]

Yes, but if I have to write. Okay. Earlier today, I had to write an email to my lawyer, and I was like, I can't do it on my phone. I have to get my computer.

[B]

Like, I, like, sit down and type it. I also feel like it's a flex sometimes with work stuff when I write, like, really quick emails on my phone because it makes it seem like I'm running to Meetings. Like, in between meetings, I'm not available.

[A]

Like, well, have you heard that thing where it's like, the most successful people.

[B]

Respond to emails the fastest immediately? I respond immediately.

[A]

You really do?

[B]

I do. But, like, not well. But I'm responding.

[A]

See, I'm like, I'm so picky and choosy. Like, there are some emails where, like, I'm immediately responding, and then there's other.

[B]

Ones where I'm like, well, I respond, and then it sits. And eventually they're like, does Paige have anything to say? And I go, you don't speak directly to her. I will speak to her. And then I sign up on my to do list.

[A]

Written down for when I saw you today is ask you about a particular email. I'm like, hannah will know.

[B]

Okay. I just go find the sidebar. Wait, Grace, when you make big purchases, do you do it on your computer? But Grace is millennial coded.

[A]

Chris, do you? Yeah, I'm taking it. Computer.

[B]

I'm taking it out to write an email.

[A]

Yeah, you're a little millennial Cody, too. Honestly, you guys have been hanging with us.

[B]

They've been hanging out. They've lost their. Their edge.

[A]

Chris is going to come in with, like, a cane. He's like, this kid.

[B]

They're so loud. Oh, God.

[A]

Anywho.

[B]

Anywho. I have one cat. Related story. Okay.

[A]

That wasn't even the funny part, guys. Super professional. You, Gen Z.

[B]

Okay. Do you remember we talked about how if you left the door open, your cat wouldn't run out?

[A]

Okay. Of, like, the house?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you sure you're just saying that?

[A]

Do I remember it? Not really.

[B]

I think, like, three weeks ago, we talked about it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then last week, it was super windy at my house, and I wake up in the morning, and butter's normally, like, cuddled warm, like, on my shoulder, and she's nowhere to be found. And I'm like, that's weird. But, you know, I'm herkle derkling and scrolling. Eventually, I get up and I walk out into the living room and. And there's, like, this wind. And I realized one of the doors flew open. Yeah. Into the backyard. So it was wide open with just winds coming through. So I immediately had that moment where I'm like, oh, my God, I have to cancel Pilates. I lost my cat. Yeah.

[A]

And then I like, downstairs. Like, where?

[B]

Upstairs?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I was like, oh. Then it reminded me of that conversation where you were like, cats are not dumb enough to just go outside. And I go, there's no way, butter. But it was open all night? Yeah, all night. So then I just. I go. Let me just. Before I freak out.

[A]

Yeah, let's go to her spouse.

[B]

Yeah, we're gonna go.

[A]

Let's make an appointment with Butter. Let's see if she's available right now.

[B]

You look under the bed. Yeah, so I look under the bed. She's literally in the corner looking at me like, mom, shut that door. The door is open. You're freaking me the fuck out.

[A]

I knew you couldn't be a homeowner. You literally suck at it. The door has been open all night.

[B]

She's like, I'm not fixing it, but I don't want to be anywhere near that. Whereas. So anyway, Butter didn't run away, which shows she loves me. Or she's just smart. She's just smart.

[A]

No, Daphne, like, I'll open my door, and I'll have it open for, like, an extended period of time because I'm, like, bringing in packages or, like, whatever. And she'll just stand there and, like, peek out and be like, ew, like, you guys live disgusting out there.

[B]

It is a New York City culture, though, where some people let their cats occasionally go into the hallways in an apartment complex, which I've dabbled in. Every now and then, I'll be like, butter, yeah, let her go out. And then she runs in. And there are other cats, but I don't know if they're ready.

[A]

I don't very.

[B]

Love is blind. Like, that stays behind the door.

[A]

I don't trust that.

[B]

Well, Daphne's still recovering from.

[A]

No.

[B]

The summer and all the kittens she met.

[A]

The part of having a cat is that you don't have to deal with what dog people deal with, and that's people stopping and wanting to pet the dog. And then you have to have a small talk with that person. I don't fucking think so. So if my dog's, like, roaming around the hallways and someone opens their door and they go in there, I'm not knocking on someone's door and being like, can I have my cat back?

[B]

Have you ever had someone get mad at you for kind of, like, petting their dog even though their dog, like, jumped on you? Like, some people's dogs will come up to you, and then you'll be like, okay. And they'll be, excuse me. And I'm like, but your dog is humping my legs.

[A]

Your dog's talking to me. And I'm actually, that's rude.

[B]

Your dog called me by name.

[A]

No, but I have.

[B]

It gets weird.

[A]

No, but I'm gonna be honest. Like, if a dog comes up to me and, like, jumps on me, if I think that dog is ugly, I'm back in. If I think that dog is cute, I'm getting down. And also reciprocating. I don't have equal love for all dogs.

[B]

You have. The dog is cute. I'm so.

[A]

Like, if your dog jumps up on me and it's, like, bigger and ugly, I'm actually mad at you because I don't know you or your dog. So don't jump on me.

[B]

One thing I do like about dogs is some of them really make me laugh. Like, you know when they look silly?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're walking, and they're just, like, goofy silly.

[A]

And they have, like, when they look human.

[B]

No, I don't. Like, that's scary. Yeah, but sometimes they have, like, ugly. Like, very ugly dogs really make me laugh. And I feel bad because I'll start laughing at them, but I'm not, like, laughing, like, in their face. It's more like a, like, appreciation for them.

[A]

For them being ugly.

[B]

For them being so cute and happy. Yeah. Like, sometimes.

[A]

Yeah. You don't even know you're ugly.

[B]

They don't know how they look.

[A]

That must be nice. No, I can't talk about cats and dogs anymore because people get really.

[B]

Wait. No, but I think we really.

[A]

We did offend some people.

[B]

We offended the dog.

[A]

No. I had a lot of girls in my DM being like, okay, but this is Samson. And I'm like, I don't care. You know, I don't give a.

[B]

It's funny because they know that. They think that you're still turnable. See me? No one was messaging me about their dogs. We love all dogs and cats and animals and people. Okay. We love them all. I'm Schmidt, saying Merry Christmas.

[A]

Wait, I know what your sweater looks like. It's been driving me nuts the whole time.

[B]

Wait, I know what it looks like, too. What are you gonna say?

[A]

Who is that Halloween character that's, like, the Menace Child? Don't they wear, like, blue and red stripe? Chucky.

[B]

Chucky.

[A]

Can you.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I have red hair.

[A]

Can you Google the T shirt that Chucky wears? Is it, like, red and purple? Yeah. God, it was literally driving me nuts.

[B]

Insane.

[A]

It's been a great week, Gigglers. Better luck next time.

[B]

Also, side note, I'm going to Texas. Three shows this weekend. Austin, Houston, Dallas.

[A]

So get with it.

[B]

Get with it. Love you. Bye.

[A]

Hey, it's Paige Desorbo from Giggly Squad. In case you didn't know. Abercrombie's active brand is YPB, aka your personal best and YPB's performance fabrics do not disappoint. Their best selling Sculpt Luxe fabric is smoothing sculpting and designed for high intensity workouts. So whether you're hitting Pilates or getting your gift shopping done, new Active sets are made to keep up with the holiday hustle. Shop YPB Active in the Abercrombie app, online or in stores. Okay, real talk Applying for a credit card can feel like dating. You put yourself out there, hope for the best, and then, boom, rejected. And your credit scores take a hit. No thank you. That's why we're obsessed with Experian's no Ding Decline feature. It's like having a bestie in your corner who's like, hey, try this card. And if it's not a match, no biggie. Your credit scores stay safe. You can browse cards in the Experian app, see your matches, and apply with confidence. Because if you're not approved, there's no hard inquiry, no ding to your credit scores, just vibes and smart choices. So if you're trying to level up your wallet, visit experian.com or download the Experian app and check out the cards labeled no Ding Decline. It's giving Financial Glow Up Experian, your big financial friend Applying for no Ding Decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially approved. 2025 experiment.