Transcript

Sponsor/Ad Host (0:00)

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Hannah Berner (0:38)

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Sponsor/Ad Host (1:43)

Gary, fix your WI fi.

Hannah Berner (1:45)

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

Sponsor/Ad Host (1:52)

I mean, the day just got away from me.

Hannah Berner (1:55)

I just need you guys to know that Paige just sneezed and said, okay, now we're cleared and ready to go.

Paige Desorbo (2:01)

I can't even. I have not been this stuff. Here's the thing. I'm. If I was a man, I'd be like, I'm dying. I have to go to the hospital. But because I'm a woman, I've worked full days, you know.

Hannah Berner (2:15)

Feel like I'm working overtime.

Paige Desorbo (2:16)

It's a Sunday. I had to like, catch up on things. One thing I do want to say, and this is not an ad, honest company makes these tissues called sniffer soothers. Oh, they've changed my whole life.

Summary

Giggly Squad — "Giggling about sourdough, supplements, and sex scenes"

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Date: February 3, 2026

Episode Overview

In this lively episode of Giggly Squad, Hannah and Paige bring their signature humor to a wide range of topics: navigating illness and “flu influencer” culture, airport travel nightmares, wellness obsessions with supplements, the controversial necessity of sex scenes in media, personal beauty and self-care routines, and misadventures in the world of retail therapy. Throughout, they weave in playful roasts of themselves and each other, effortlessly combining real talk with comic relief.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Battling Sickness & “Flu Influencer” Status

Paige is under the weather, which sparks an early discussion on how women and men handle illness differently.
- Paige: “If I was a man, I'd be like, I'm dying. I have to go to the hospital. But because I'm a woman, I've worked full days, you know.” (02:01)
- She recommends Honest Company “Sniffer Soothers” tissues, joking about being a “flu influencer.”
- Hannah mocks Paige’s TikTok Vicks Vaporub tips: “You can't just tell people to, like, stick Vicks Vapor Rub up their ass. There’s gonna be infection.” (02:31)

Beauty Routines & Botox Confessions

Paige shares her latest Botox mishap: too much in her chin has left her bottom lip immobile, but she’s “obsessed.”
- “Now my chin, my bottom lip goes to one side. But I'm like, obsessed with it…I love it. Freeze my whole God damn face.” (03:57)
The pair jokes about skincare as adult hobbies, with Hannah admitting Paige inspired her to find “joy out of such little things.” (32:00–32:30)

Long Fingers, Queen Elizabeth, and Finger Extensions

A tangent about Paige’s “Queen Elizabeth I”–level long fingers, referencing TikTok and historical beauty standards. (04:44–05:18)

Hannah’s Frontier Airlines Airport Odyssey

Hannah recounts a stressful travel tale: flying post-gig from Atlanta, unforeseen line chaos, and a race against the clock in full stage outfit.
- “I felt like I was holding a plank. I felt like I was having the worst sex in my life.” (13:18)
The airport worker asks if he recognizes her, giving her a minor VIP fast-pass—only for her water bottle to get flagged, negating her progress.
- “So I had to go back through. So it literally was a net zero.” (13:05)
Dramatic run to the gate, only to be punked by a gate agent pretending doors were closed, when the flight was actually delayed.
- “Not only have I been punked by a man…at my lowest point and he took a fucking dagger and stabbed me.” (18:15)
#Relatable suffering: delayed flights, eating McDonald’s at 1 a.m., and weird airplane seatmates. (19:01–20:49)
- “The girl next to me…kept kicking my elbow…And the woman in front of me was humming the whole time…It really was pissing me off.” (20:10)

Sourdough Starter Shoutouts

Fans DM about naming sourdough starters “Hannah” and “Paige,” which sparks a detour about creative puns and bread starter pride. (22:07–22:25)

Supplements & Wellness Fads

Paige swears by Aquaphor balm sticks for winter; the conversation snowballs into the duo’s latest supplement obsessions, especially oregano capsules.
- “Did I tell you I've been taking oregano supplements? Shut the—Paige DeSorbo. Shut the—up, you witch. You little witch.” (52:11–52:15)
- They discuss the strong, sometimes unpleasant effects of oregano, and the perils of taking TikTok supplement advice.
- Paige warns: “You do have to ask a professional, because I think you can really fuck up your stomach if you take too much of it.” (53:19)
Commentary on men being “weak” when sick compared to women. (54:04–54:49)

Sex Scenes: Essential or Unnecessary?

Paige brings a “rage bait” TikTok example where Gen Z/Alpha argue against sex scenes in media.
- “Are you kidding me? There are some movies that I'm like…I will. Do you remember my stint with 365?” (29:04)
- Both argue that sex scenes are vital for storytelling, chemistry, and, well, realism.
The conversation expands to generational differences regarding sexuality, the plummeting teen pregnancy rate, and the high school canon event of false pregnancy scares. (29:33–30:36)

Self-Care as a Hobby & Box-Cutting Bliss

Paige reframes elaborate self-care as a hobby instead of “just hygiene.”
Hannah discovers the addicting joy of cutting up boxes for recycling:
- “Holy. That felt amazing. I could not stop cutting boxes. I cut every box in the house…It’s my new hobby.” (34:02)

Retail Rants: Store Experiences & Fashion Mishaps

The Adam Sandler Chanel store legend: his daughter gets snubbed by a saleslady, he buys out the store in response.
- Hannah critiques the approach: “You had to go another store and you’re supposed to say, huge mistake. Huge. Go to Prada.” (37:10)
Hannah’s awkward experience at Supreme—being asked to try on shirts in the open, surrounded by guys:
- “I felt. I was like, what fraternity am I in right now? Are you going to make me make out with my friend?” (40:19)
- The duo rants about Aritzia and the modern impossibility of shopping in-person in NYC. (42:18–43:32)
Broader reflection on fashion retail, city life, and the chilling archetype of “boys from Connecticut.”
- “Girls are allowed to grow up in Connecticut, by the way. Girls are allowed to. Boys aren’t.” (44:49)

"Girl Math": Measurements, Ratios, & Dating Investigations

Paige and Hannah discuss analyzing a guy’s height based on photos with cabinets, and new “forearm-to-calf ratio” methods for judging attractiveness.
- “If we hug and your head goes in my neck, I'm out. If you're curled up in my bosom? What are you, a squirrel?” (50:12)

Microfeminism & Mental Health

Listener DM: being kind to oneself as “practicing microfeminism.”
- “Anytime I'm being mean to myself, I remind myself that I'm being mean to a woman. And then I stop.” (55:12)

IV Therapy & Benadryl Mishaps

Hannah and Ali Colbert’s post-show IV experience, featuring questionable add-ons and getting “high” from IV Benadryl.
- “Am I supposed to be feeling this fucking high from the Benadryl?...It comes harder because it's right into the bloodstream.” (56:41–56:56)

Ending on Men, Athletes, and Body Positivity

More playful man-bashing: “Remember, all men are not good. So Derek Jeter, I don’t know what you’ve done, but we still love you. But I just want to normalize, we’re not putting him on a pedestal.” (60:12)
Reflections on sports world double standards for male athletes who commit misdeeds.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Paige, on Being Sick as a Woman:
“If I was a man, I'd be like, I'm dying. I have to go to the hospital. But because I'm a woman, I've worked full days, you know.” (02:01)
Hannah, Mocking Supplement Hype:
“You can't just tell people to, like, stick Vicks Vapor Rub up their ass. There’s gonna be infection.” (02:31)
Paige, on Her Botox Addiction:
“Freeze my whole God damn face.” (03:57)
Hannah’s Airport Ordeal:
“I felt like I was holding a plank. I felt like I was having the worst sex in my life.” (13:18)
On Sex Scenes in Movies:
“If I'm watching a love affair movie and they don't show...I want to be, like, judging. The chemistry, was the casting right?” (29:14)
On Modern Shopping:
“Shopping in person, there is no shopping in person. It's actually makes me so sad.” (42:34)
Paige on Self-Care:
“My Sunday routine is one of my most favorite hobbies, and why it's looked down upon when it's literally just hygiene.” (31:11)
Amazing Microfeminism Advice (Listener Submission):
“Anytime I'm being mean to myself, I remind myself that I'm being mean to a woman. And then I stop.” (55:12)

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:01 | Paige on sickness & “flu influencer” tissues | | 03:10 | Botox gone wrong and loving it | | 06:58–18:33| Hannah’s airport/Frontier Airlines travel nightmare | | 21:13 | Paige swears by Aquaphor for winter skincare | | 22:07 | Sourdough starter fandom shoutouts | | 28:42 | Debating the necessity of sex scenes in movies/TV | | 32:00 | Self-care as an adult “hobby” | | 34:02 | The addictive satisfaction of cutting up boxes | | 37:04 | The Adam Sandler x Chanel legend | | 39:23 | Supreme store humiliation—retail therapy gone awry | | 52:11 | Oregano supplements & TikTok-fueled wellness claims | | 55:12 | Practicing microfeminism (listener moment) |

Overall Tone

Playful, irreverent, and self-deprecating—Hannah and Paige riff on personal woes and social observations with sarcastic wit and mutual support. The episode blends candid confessions with effortlessly silly asides, never letting a tangent go un-giggled.

For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect snapshot of the Giggly Squad dynamic: deep dives into wildly varied topics, lots of “girl math,” absurd personal anecdotes, and a relentless commitment to both honesty and hilarity.