Giggling about tour, team sports, and MomTok

Summary

Podcast Summary: Giggly Squad – "Giggling about Tour, Team Sports, and MomTok"

Release Date: September 11, 2024

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo

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Introduction

In this lively episode of Giggly Squad, hosts Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo delve into their recent tour experiences, the dynamics of team sports, and their candid takes on the emerging trend of "MomTok." True to their style, they blend humor with heartfelt discussions, offering listeners a glimpse into their personal lives while tackling broader cultural topics.

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1. Touring Adventures and Challenges

Hannah and Paige kick off the episode by sharing anecdotes from their ongoing tour, highlighting both the exhilarating and exhausting moments they've faced across various cities.

• Hannah's Exhaustion:
  "That's crazy because I almost passed out on stage at the second Atlanta show...I was backstage, like, vomiting." [03:28]

• Paige's Resilience:
  "We've had five shows in three days. And honestly, I'm feeling rejuvenated." [02:30]

The hosts discuss the physical and emotional toll of touring, emphasizing the importance of self-care. Hannah mentions her reliance on Vitamin D supplements and staying hydrated to maintain her energy levels on stage.

Notable Quote:
“First of all, everyone looks gorgeous.” – Paige on tour fashion [05:45]

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2. Navigating Team Sports and Mental Health

The conversation transitions to team sports, with a particular focus on soccer and the pressures athletes face both on and off the field.

• Hope Solo's Struggles:
  Hannah and Paige dissect the challenges faced by soccer star Hope Solo, touching on issues like the wage gap and the toxic dynamics within sports organizations.
  “They're doing the exact same thing.” – Hannah on the wage gap in soccer [24:53]

• Nervousness and Performance Anxiety:
  Hannah shares her experiences with stage fright during live performances, drawing parallels to athletes who may be physically capable but hindered by anxiety.
  “When I'm up on stage, I'm scared the whole time.” – Hannah [04:06]

Notable Quote:
“They're doing the exact same thing.” – Hannah on the wage gap in soccer [24:53]

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3. Exploring "MomTok" and Reality TV

The hosts delve into the phenomenon of "MomTok," a trend where mothers create content on TikTok, aiming for fame while navigating the complexities of motherhood and societal expectations.

• Critique of Reality TV:
  Hannah criticizes the portrayal of young mothers in reality TV, highlighting the generational trauma and unrealistic standards imposed on them.
  “Here's what I think is what I Relate to it...the shame you have around sex.” – Hannah [09:32]

• Cultural and Religious Pressures:
  They discuss how restrictive environments, such as conservative religious backgrounds, contribute to the struggles depicted in shows like Secret Lives of Mormon Moms.
  “They’re in such a range of their twenties and have...so much shame around sexual activity.” – Hannah [09:26]

Notable Quote:
“Here's the most fucked up thing that's happened on the show so far.” – Paige on Secret Lives of Mormon Moms [20:17]

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4. Personal Stories: Organization, Mental Health, and Relationships

Hannah and Paige open up about their personal lives, discussing challenges like maintaining an organized living space while on tour and dealing with anxiety.

• Apartment Organization:
  Paige shares her struggle with keeping her apartment organized amidst a hectic schedule, leading to a humorous yet relatable story about seeking help from a professional organizing service.
  “They were like, 'This is the kind of project we want.'” – Paige [39:17]

• Mental Health Insights:
  The hosts touch upon topics like ADHD and how it affects their daily lives, offering insights into coping mechanisms and the importance of seeking support.
  “I have adhd...I'm chasing dopamine.” – Paige [37:21]

Notable Quote:
“I feel like I'm gonna be raising a baby on my own.” – Hannah on motherhood [61:07]

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5. Light-Hearted Banter and Pop Culture References

True to their name, Hannah and Paige incorporate humor and pop culture references throughout the episode, discussing everything from fashion mishaps to celebrity antics.

• Fashion Fails:
  The hosts joke about inappropriate fashion choices, such as a man in a Gucci bucket hat, highlighting societal expectations and personal style preferences.
  “If your shirt says Gucci, your hat certainly does not need to say it.” – Hannah [46:10]

• Sports Events and Celebrity Encounters:
  Paige recounts her humorous experience throwing the first pitch at a Mets game, comparing it to celebrities like 50 Cent and Mariah Carey.
  “I was supposed to throw the pitch, not just fuck around.” – Paige [54:10]

Notable Quote:
“I might draw up a petition, and there's something about a man in a Gucci bucket hat...I'm against it.” – Hannah on fashion [46:12]

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Conclusion

In this episode, Hannah and Paige effortlessly balance humor with serious discussions, offering listeners both laughter and thoughtful insights. From the grueling realities of touring and the pressures of team sports to the nuanced portrayal of motherhood in reality TV, Giggly Squad provides a multifaceted look into the hosts' lives and the cultural landscapes they navigate.

Key Takeaways:

• Touring is both exhilarating and exhausting, requiring effective self-care strategies.
• Team sports, particularly soccer, are fraught with systemic issues like wage disparities and toxic dynamics.
• Emerging trends like "MomTok" reflect broader societal pressures and the ongoing struggle with generational trauma.
• Personal anecdotes about organization and mental health highlight the importance of seeking help and coping mechanisms.
• Light-hearted banter and pop culture references keep the conversation engaging and relatable.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• “First of all, everyone looks gorgeous.” – Paige [05:45]
• “They're doing the exact same thing.” – Hannah on the wage gap in soccer [24:53]
• “Here's the most fucked up thing that's happened on the show so far.” – Paige [20:17]
• “If your shirt says Gucci, your hat certainly does not need to say it.” – Hannah [46:10]

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Stay Connected with Giggly Squad

For those who enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to Giggly Squad on your favorite podcast platform. Join Hannah and Paige each week as they continue to make fun of everything, including themselves, while exploring a wide array of topics from pop culture to personal growth.

Transcript

[Hannah]

It's a cold day here in Alaska, but there's one animal seemingly unaffected. Bright eyed and determined enters the husky. Observe as they go up the mountain, guided by pure instinct. They are truly amazing masters of this wilderness. But even these amazing pets can't sign up for Lemonade Pet insurance.

[Paige]

You can sign up [e-mail] Amazing.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Hey, gorgeous Gigglers. You know, I love changing up my look, but it really takes a toll on my hair health. To keep it looking gorgeous, I use K18's viral molecular repair mask. It reverses damage in just four minutes. So I get strong, soft, bouncy hair again with just one use. I love it. Stylists trust it, and their patented science is legit. Pop by your nearest Sephora to discover my K18 favorite or try it 10% off with code giggly on your first [e-mail]. That's code [e-mail]. Sometimes hosting can be a little bit.

[Hannah]

Stressful and you always have to have.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

A plethora of drink options. And I'm not the best at mixing different cocktails. And that's where Sun Cruiser comes in. Sun Cruiser is a refreshing iced tea and vodka drink.

[Hannah]

It's a non carbonated, so no bubbles.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Fill you up or have you burping.

[Hannah]

And it's only 100 calories. It's so easy when people come over to just offer them drinks that already taste good. Easy cleanup.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Here you go. No mixing, no adding chasers.

[Hannah]

And Sun Cruiser inspires good times and.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

It brings the sunny vibes to you. So no matter where you're hosting, if.

[Hannah]

You'Re in an apartment this fall or you're in a house and it's getting chilly, it's still summer vibes with Sun Cruiser.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

So crack one open today and let.

[Hannah]

The good times cruise.

[Paige]

Sup, Gigglers? Gary, fix your wi fi. Manifest that we can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What is up my. Get setting, Gigglers. Get it. Just setting with the G. Oh, I.

[Hannah]

Thought you were just so tired.

[Paige]

No, y'all. Okay.

[Hannah]

No, y'all, y'all.

[Paige]

We're saying y'all because we don't have the time to say you guys.

[Hannah]

And I guess we're in the South.

[Paige]

We're in the South. When you say y'all, you save so much time in your life. I saved like 40 minutes yesterday. We are in Durham, but we have had five shows in three days. And honestly, I'm feeling rejuvenated.

[Hannah]

That's crazy because I almost passed out on stage at the second Atlanta show, and I want to know if anyone. I wonder if anyone picked up. Like, my whole mood changed.

[Paige]

I know your mood changed, but, like, sometimes with the Q and A, like, we were having trouble hearing one girl, so I thought you were just having trouble hearing her.

[Hannah]

I was having trouble hearing, but I also was having trouble seeing.

[Paige]

I kind of love that you could not hear or see or talk. And I was like, you seem normal, but she walks off stage and you go, I'm literally going to faint. Which you've done multiple times.

[Hannah]

Multiple times. Well, I felt so bad because when we ended the second Atlanta show, like, we hug, and then we usually, like, turn and, like, say bye to everyone. And I. They ran off because I was like, I'm going to fall to the ground.

[Paige]

I was overcompensating because I was like. That looked kind of cunty. So then I was, like. I was touching everyone in the front row. I was, like, holding. I was basically giving my phone to everyone. The front row because I was holding, like, something else in my other hand.

[Hannah]

And I was backstage, like, vomiting.

[Paige]

Well, I went out, and I was like, you have an Ian. And then we, like, were arguing about if you had a quesadilla or not.

[Hannah]

I had a quesadilla. And then she literally, like a true Italian mother, she force fed me a banana.

[Paige]

Yeah, I forced a banana. But look, that was after five shows. Honestly, for 4.87 shows, you were incredible.

[Hannah]

Well, this has been child labor for sure. And I thought I was doing good because I've been drinking my Stanley. I've been taking my vitamins. I think what also happens is when we do live shows, I love doing live shows, and they're so much fun, but I actually get so nervous before, and I don't think anyone would, like, pick up on it. So I think I, like, stress my own body out with, like, being nervous to go on stage in front of, like, 2,500 people.

[Paige]

That's like, when, like, runners, you're like, why didn't he win? He's faster. But it's like his nerves were so intense that, like, his body just, like, couldn't compete.

[Hannah]

So, like, when I'm up on stage, I'm scared the whole time.

[Paige]

I feel like you're nervous the first six minutes.

[Hannah]

Yeah, but that. But last night, for whatever reason, I just felt like. I don't know. I don't know if it's because we were in Atlanta and I was like, oh, my God. This is, like, a lot of people. And like, we're in Atlanta, like, perfect. You have to be good.

[Paige]

The Hollywood of the South.

[Hannah]

Yeah. And I don't know if that's, like, what it was.

[Paige]

I'm gonna tell you what it was. Your high pony was too tight.

[Hannah]

No, my high pony was way too tight.

[Paige]

I think you literally cut off circulation to your brain.

[Hannah]

Because it happened when I crossed my legs. Like, no liter. Literally, like, four minutes after I, like, got into a different position and crossed my legs, I was like, oh, maybe I'm cutting off my circulation also, by.

[Paige]

The way, Paige sits the entire time.

[Hannah]

No, I sit the entire time because I shake, like, when I'm holding the microphone. And so, like, getting up is not an option for me. I'm like, too nervous.

[Paige]

But the gigglers have all. First of all, everyone looks gorgeous. And I have been getting messages being like, what do we wear on tour? Paige and I go off, like, where you. No one will ever be overdressed because.

[Hannah]

Yeah, Paige.

[Paige]

Paige wore a belt as a skirt one of the nights. And not sitting outfits as you said.

[Hannah]

No, I've been wearing standing outfits, which is my own fault.

[Paige]

She's wearing, like, house to car outfits, you know?

[Hannah]

Yeah. I'm wearing shoes that are car to table shoes.

[Paige]

Yes. And I wore terry cloth hooded corset. Nobody anticipated that.

[Hannah]

No, that was. That was.

[Paige]

Well, then I. Some girls can, like. It's like, girls who could pull off hats can pull off hoods.

[Hannah]

We. Interesting.

[Paige]

I've thought about this a lot. I have, like, even though my head looks big, I actually have a small head, so I don't even get to have a cute. It looks big anyway. It's not. So I put a hood on. I look like a sperm. Yeah.

[Hannah]

You never wear a baseball hat to, like, the airport.

[Paige]

No. I also feel like if I'm trying to be, like, cool and incognito, more people look at me when I have a hat on because they're like, that girl looks stupid in that hat.

[Hannah]

See, I don't know what it is about the airport. I can't go to the airport without a baseball hat. I feel exposed, and I feel like it also partly keeps my head warm.

[Paige]

You look so chic in your baseball hat.

[Hannah]

I love wearing a baseball hat. My mom hates when I wear one.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

But I love them.

[Hannah]

I think they can be so cute, and they're just easy. And at the airport, like, no, you need it. It, like, helps when you're trying to sleep. You, like, pull it down. You can't see anyone.

[Paige]

I put my headphones on with wires. So everyone knows I'm listening to something even when I'm not. Also, Paige, the first flight, I'm, like, taking down my bag, and my wired.

[Hannah]

Headphones get stuck in my wheel.

[Paige]

In her wheel. And she's looking at me like, are you kidding me with your. This is a bit that's gone too far.

[Hannah]

I was like, I'm gonna have to rip the headphone.

[Paige]

And then you took your long ass fingers, and you somehow, like, untangled.

[Hannah]

Untangled within three seconds before we had to, like, walk off.

[Paige]

Yeah. I was so scared.

[Hannah]

Like, everyone's gonna yell at us.

[Paige]

I was so scared. I do have to say, I think this show is better than last show.

[Hannah]

I think it is too, because I think it's. I think it's more niche, like, but I think it's more girly.

[Paige]

Well, we've evolved. I feel like the first show, like, I loved so much, and I really was like, I don't think we can beat it. And then now we're just, like. We've grown. We've learned. We've. We know what works, and we have so many more inside jokes. Like, it's just like. And I feel like the gigglers also are just, like, stronger.

[Hannah]

No, it. It has been so much fun, and it has been.

[Paige]

We just started the tour, like, crazy. Like, it wasn't like, oh, let's do, like, one show.

[Hannah]

No, it was, like, six shows. Boom, boom, boom.

[Paige]

Yeah. And we have one more tonight.

[Hannah]

And I hate every airport.

[Paige]

I just think every airport's the same, and I don't even process the airport. I'm just like, I'm in another airport. I'm in another hotel.

[Hannah]

I do want to say, even though we have been on tour and we've been in four cities, we've done six shows, it has not kept me from my personal shows.

[Paige]

Oh, I know. Which I'm very impressed by.

[Hannah]

I finished the entire season. First season of Secret Lives of Mormon Moms. Mormon Wives. Whatever.

[Paige]

Paige thought. Paige Grace thought it was. I'm calling butter. I'm calling everyone the wrong name. Grace thought it was a documentary, so she started watching it and was like, this is reality tv.

[Hannah]

It's a full reality TV show.

[Paige]

Yeah. What are your thoughts?

[Hannah]

I have so many. And I know we do have some Mormon gigglers, and I'm not trying to.

[Paige]

No, but the mormling giggle. They get it.

[Hannah]

I'm not trying to alienate a religious group by any means. You guys are in a cult, and it's so scary. Here's what I think is what I Relate to it. And what I think is the scariest part, obviously, I grew up very, like, went to a Catholic school my whole life. Like, grew up a little bit more conservative. And so, like, I know the shame I have around, like, sex that, like, it takes you in your 20s that you have to almost, like, have a conversation with yourself. Like, you're not a bad person if you, like, have sex with people.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And so to watch these girls be in their. Like, they're in such a range of their twenties and have, like. No. Have such shame around sexual activity.

[Paige]

Even with their marriage.

[Hannah]

Yeah. And kids, like, they're not allowed to, like, bring up certain things in front of their husbands or, like, talk about things with their friends.

[Paige]

Roaming in that house for 10 minutes.

[Hannah]

It's so crazy because it's like, the generational trauma that is.

[Paige]

But why. It's crazy, too. I feel like when you're suppressed, you're, like, worse.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

It's like a kid who didn't have candy as a kid when they finally realized they could eat candy and they just, like, overdose. So it's like these girls. I don't. I didn't watch it. Okay. When you were on the plane, I was watching on the side, and I was like, why is Whitney crying in the first episode? I totally get, like, second season, third season crying. Like, I'll do it all day. First episode crying is wild behavior.

[Hannah]

Wild behavior. Also, like, there's one girl, I can't even remember her name. She had a baby when she was 16, and then she married the guy, and he was, like, four years older than her. And I was like, do the math. Anyone talking about how that's pedophilia? Like, you can't have a baby at 16 with someone in your 20s.

[Paige]

Also, more importantly, they all have the same hair extensions. Like, the same wave. Like, it's the same from the same.

[Hannah]

Horse or don't know what that is.

[Paige]

That's all look exactly the same. To the point that in one of the early episodes that I was watching from over your shoulder, they're wearing sweatshirts with their names on it. So you can identify them. If you are casting me a long.

[Hannah]

Time to get everyone's name, because I was like, they all look the same.

[Paige]

And I don't know if they're all, like, kind of related. I don't want to throw that out there. But, like, they have, like, a similar look. Except, like, the one. One girl has short hair, which is Whitney.

[Hannah]

Some of them. I'm not sure if they know that their husbands are Gay. I'm pretty sure the husbands know that they're gay. It's very. It's so crazy. And then there's this one girl, she's married to. You can. He has crazy eyes. Like, you can tell. You know how you. Have you been seeing that thing on Tick Tock where you can tell a guy's a narcissist by smile?

[Paige]

Have you seen space above his eye?

[Hannah]

It's like they have, like, different. Like their eyes are dead. Like, you're looking at them and it looks like there's no emotion behind their eyes.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

This guy is going to be on an episode of Snap. He is one of the scariest people on reality tv. I think I've ever.

[Paige]

Like, the producers are happy.

[Hannah]

Producers are jumping for joy at Hulu.

[Paige]

Well, also, these girls are not just like people that they approach. Like, these girls were trying to be famous. They kept calling it Mom Talk.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And I thought they were saying Montauk. And I was like, is this a new episode of Summer House?

[Hannah]

I thought they all had one TikTok that they posted from that was called Mom Talk. No, it was just like a trend of moms posting videos.

[Paige]

So they're all trying to get famous through that.

[Hannah]

Yeah. But they keep being like, the essence of Mom Talk. I was like, no one, actually.

[Paige]

You guys made this up.

[Hannah]

Yeah. This is not. No one gives a fudge about Mom Talk.

[Paige]

Work on the White salamander shit. I've looked into it. It's. It's wild stuff. But you also feel like these girls, they're ready to do good tv because they've been. They're like, okay.

[Hannah]

They're airing it out. They're saying every.

[Paige]

This is our time to shine. We're on, like, Real TV. This isn't TikTok. And they're going hard, but it's.

[Hannah]

It's kind of so scary. And then, like, the main girl, her name's Taylor and I'm Team Taylor. She cries the whole time because, like, her, first of all, her mom is so mean to her. I want to be like, you're the reason she's like this. You've literally shamed her for every decision she's ever made.

[Paige]

Is she. Is this after her? Everyone was swinging.

[Hannah]

Yeah. And there she. There's not. The swingers aren't even on the show. She's the only swinger. It's all like these other girls that are just Mormons and moms.

[Paige]

It's also so funny because it's like, if you all just stopped being so upset that Someone had an orgasm. Like, we all could just go about our lives.

[Hannah]

Here's the one interesting thing. So they don't drink alcohol. They're not supposed to drink coffee, but.

[Paige]

They can do Adderall, which is crack cocaine.

[Hannah]

So, like, around their town in Utah, there's all, like, soda shops. So they go into these different soda.

[Paige]

Shops, like the 1920s.

[Hannah]

Yes. And they get these massive sodas with all these different sugars and, like, things in them. Because that's, like, their violation stimulation and that alone. I'm like, you guys need to figure it out. But I will say, if there was a soda shop in New York City, it probably would freak, because I do love soda. But I'm allowed to drink coffee and alcohol.

[Paige]

Also, can I just shout out. I'm one of those people. Like, because I'm not that into drinking right now. I will order a $14 mocktail.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And, like, the people I'm with will be like, do you want another one? And I'm like, no. And they're like, have another one. I'm like, I can handle one For a Starbucks refresher. I'm not getting another fourth. I'm not spending $50 on juice tonight.

[Hannah]

No. It's crazy. And then they all go to Vegas for, like, a cash trip, whatever. And the one girl. They're all going to Chippendales. And the one girl's husband tells her that if she goes to the Chippendale show, she will be single, he will divorce her, and it'll be really hard for her to be a single mom. She like. It's just the. I'm like, how is your mom not watching this and immediately yanking you out of your own home with your husband?

[Paige]

The most important thing is them having a husband, which.

[Hannah]

And he is fucking crazy.

[Paige]

Talk about the opposite of decentering men.

[Hannah]

Here's the other thing. They are all the breadwinners in their home.

[Paige]

What?

[Hannah]

Yes. Every single one of them. Some of their husbands don't even fucking work.

[Paige]

What if that.

[Hannah]

You could not give me two seconds.

[Paige]

In that town if I've bought everything in the house. You're cleaning, bro. No, Mama's been working, like, get.

[Hannah]

I'd be like, get out of my house.

[Paige]

Well, that's actually so interesting. Because the Mormon religion, the women were just caretakers. And because of technology, they have now, like, started this new group of women who make money accidentally from just being interesting.

[Hannah]

And I will say some of the women are married to men that, like, it doesn't seem like that's the norm in their House. Like, they don't seem controlling and they don't. Whatever. But, like, as I'm watching this and as I watch, like, certain things that are like this, where it's like a documentary or whatever, rather than, like, thinking about, oh, I wonder what I would have been like if I grew up like this or, like, this was my life. I relate it more to, like, me having a daughter and being like, oh, my God, I hope, like, my daughter never. I need to, like, teach my daughter X, Y, and Z. Like, if you're the breadwinner, you're fucking in charge. If you want to have sex at a normal fucking age, here's. Here's how you do it. Some of these girls didn't know how to have sex when they got married. Like, that's just mind blowing because, yeah.

[Paige]

They'Re not talking to each other because they're judging each other. If someone knows something, I could not.

[Hannah]

Stop thinking that, like, they all have, like, 10 fucking kids. What is your daughter going to think when she sees you just hysterically crying because her dad is a fucking psychopath? Like, it just. I.

[Paige]

Are the kids on it?

[Hannah]

No, the kids aren't on it. Which I think is best. I don't think that they should be on it.

[Paige]

Yeah, it's.

[Hannah]

They're actually talking about some of the craziest shit. Like, it's way more serious so than I think people think, because. Because, like, it is a reality show and it's like, no, these women are actually most of them. It feels like they have. What's that syndrome where you fall in love with your kidnapper?

[Paige]

Munchausen?

[Hannah]

No.

[Paige]

I just wanted to say Munchausen.

[Hannah]

Well, because, like, they're like, no one's ever loved me like this.

[Paige]

It's like, no, you've got.

[Hannah]

You've never met anyone.

[Paige]

You've never met anyone.

[Hannah]

You literally married him at 17. Yeah.

[Paige]

No, wait. So it's different than the Salt Lake City housewives because these are, like, young girls.

[Hannah]

They range from, like, 21 to, like, 30.

[Paige]

Is salt. Is Salt Lake City Housewives.

[Hannah]

Not all of them are even Mormon.

[Paige]

They're not even.

[Hannah]

And they're like. I feel like housewives of Salt Lake City are, like, Mormon. Ish.

[Paige]

Well, do they talk about the thing where they put the penis in the armpit? What the is that? No, it's called. We. We've talked. We talk about this every episode.

[Hannah]

Penis in the armpit.

[Paige]

They. If instead of sex, they do all these things. So they put a guy's penis in their armpit with lou and they jerk them off and they, like, let him. Or they'll do the. What's it called? Where you bounce on the bed. Because, like, soaking, soaking. They do the soaking. And it's so hard because, like, I'm from Brooklyn, New York. A bunch of hippies.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Who, like, at 4 years old, they were like, you can have two dads. And, like, sex is beautiful. So, like, I really have a hard time comprehending it.

[Hannah]

No, it is. And, like, that's why I said, like, I'm not. Like, I'm not naive to growing up, like, conservative and being taught. Like, when I was in high school, you were just taught, sex is bad. You don't do it till you're married. Like, that was the overall arching message in my brain. Like, you don't have sex. It's. You're like a bad person if you do it too young.

[Paige]

Use a condom. That's all I was, like, told, like, use a condom. Yeah, be safe. When.

[Hannah]

And so theirs is just, like, such an extreme. And it's like, the shame you must have around, like, your own self and your own body must be so unbearable. I couldn't. I couldn't imagine.

[Paige]

And it's all just inflicted by their social norms.

[Hannah]

And here's the other thing one of the girls said in the show that I don't think anyone's, like, bringing attention to. Whitney was, like, yelling at Taylor for something, and she said the phrase, you're giving ID Golf energy. And I go, what the fuck is ID Golf energy? And then I thought about it, and it was an. The acronym. Like, I don't give a fuck. But she said it out, and I was like, that, you guys need to be stopped.

[Paige]

That's the most fucked up thing that's happened on the show so far.

[Hannah]

I'm calling the police. Like, And I was like, oh, maybe that's a Gen Z thing. But she's 30. And I was like, okay, bitch. No. Like, you can't go around saying, I dig off.

[Paige]

Like, that's where we put our foot down.

[Hannah]

Like, that's where I'm drawing the line.

[Paige]

I watched a crazy documentary about Hope Solo on Netflix.

[Hannah]

Oh, yeah.

[Paige]

I think it's an untold. So Hope Solo was basically the face of soccer. Woman's soccer. And then she just, like, disappeared.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Well, didn't she get arrested?

[Paige]

She was arrested. There was some shit that went down, but it's like, her story.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

First of all, she's gorgeous. And, like, I'm such a badass. Has, like, the sweetest little voice. And she's not put. At first, I was like, she putting this on to be, like, sweet. Like, like old videos. She talks. She talks like this, I hope solo, but she's, like, 6:2 and, like, like a beast. Incredible athlete. So she has this crazy story that, like, her mom and dad divorced, and then her dad became homeless.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

So she was literally, like, playing soccer. And one day they were like, there's a man in the woods, and he says, he's your dad. And she was like, dad. And she, like. But she was very, like, loving about it. Like, he would just go to all the games. Like, she got him a sweatshirt. And, like, she just, like, was she still, like, proud?

[Hannah]

She would leave tickets for every game in case he came.

[Paige]

Yeah. Like, he just supported her, but, like, he was clearly going through. They. Look, there's a lot of things they didn't talk about.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But, like, that was. Yeah. Like, I need a little more context. She was like, yeah, my dad was homeless, but, like, so good at cheering on the sidelines. And I'm like, I feel like there's more to that.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But she didn't come from a lot of money, and she ended up getting promoted. And she gets all the way to, like, the World cup or something. And they finally put her in. Like, they finally put her in to be the starting goalie, and she's doing amazing, and she gets all the way to the finals. And the. The girls basically tell the coach they don't want Hope Solo to be a goalie in the game. They want the older goalie to, like, finish her career in the final game. And Hope is like, I got us here.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Why would you put a goalie. It's not as good as me.

[Hannah]

In for the final game.

[Paige]

For the final game.

[Hannah]

Okay. I'm on Hope's side.

[Paige]

And then they lose in the finals.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And Hope is very. She speaks her mind.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So she basically was like, I told you, like, that girl's not as good as me. They shouldn't have put her in. Like, she said it in an interview. Something along those lines.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And, like, we've all been loosey goosey on an interview before.

[Hannah]

And, like, she was speaking her truth.

[Paige]

She spoke her truth. But, like, I didn't play a team sport probably for good reason, but, like, me there. I don't believe team sports. It's like, it's. The team is number one.

[Hannah]

Organized, fun, little eerie.

[Paige]

It's giving more men. It's giving more men. Team sports are cold.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But it was very, like, the team comes first you don't talk individually or bash a teammate or a coach, which, like, I. That's like, what they believe.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Camaraderie.

[Paige]

Camaraderie. Which. It's a cute idea.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So.

[Hannah]

But also, if you're a bitch, I'm going to say you're a fucking badge.

[Paige]

So she just felt like the team turned on her, went behind her back, like, didn't put her in. And then everyone loses. And she was just upset. After she did that, the team basically, like, X's her out. Like, just like, you're done.

[Hannah]

We're not your friend.

[Paige]

They get a new coach, and eventually they try to mend the relationship and get her back on the team.

[Hannah]

Oh, she legit got kicked off the team.

[Paige]

It was like no one was talking to her. It was, like, really weird. But soccer is weird because it's like they have their own local teams, then every couple years, they do the United States team. I don't know all the soccer. It's very confusing. So she's back, and then she basically gets. She blows up. Like, no one knows about men's soccer. All they know is about women's U.S. soccer. Hope Solo is everywhere. I remember this time, and she's like, amazing.

[Hannah]

But it's like, 2008.

[Paige]

I feel like, yeah, 2008. To, like, honestly, 2015.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

So she's just killing it. And she basically says, I found out something I wasn't supposed to find out. And basically there was, like, an email chain saying, like, how much money the girls were making and she wanted something to be paid, but basically the women were making, like, less than a teacher salary.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And they were, like, the face of soccer. And the men were getting paid, like, millions of dollars.

[Hannah]

And they, like, were probably losing.

[Paige]

And they were losing.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

So Hope Solo basically, like, gets her lawyer and lawyers up and is like, guys, we have to fight title nine, like, for us to get paid more.

[Hannah]

This is a perfect example of the wage gap. I once had a guy tell me that the wage gap wasn't real and asked me if I looked it up online. And I was like, have you, you fucking weirdo? But that's a perfect example. They're doing the exact same thing.

[Paige]

Well, also, they're getting more ticket sales. They're getting more exposure. Like, Hope people are just were obsessed with it. And. And at the time, the US Men's soccer team wasn't doing as well. So anyway, she finds out, and clearly she's an outspoken person, and. But how U.S. soccer, they have. They're very powerful. She was saying like, they're kind of like, if you don't go with my rules, we will. You.

[Hannah]

The U.S. soccer team is Mormon.

[Paige]

And yes. Wait, it's all coming together now. But they're basically like, the bigger, larger organization needs to be protected. But the organization is run by these old, selfish white dudes. Sorry. I don't give a fuck about US soccer being mad at me. They're right.

[Hannah]

Literally, there's. I couldn't think of something I could care about.

[Paige]

If you Google it, it's super corrupt, and there's just these old men running U.S. soccer.

[Hannah]

Came for giggly squad. I literally welcome.

[Paige]

Please, please. So she gets a bunch of girls actually on her side to start fighting for this. Then something happens where, like, I think she said another thing that was just, like, loosey goosey.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

I forget what it was, but it wasn't very bad. Like, it was kind of like a Serena Williams thing where Serena does something, and if a dude did it, everyone would be like, yeah, he was upset. But when a girl does it, they're like, she's a monster.

[Hannah]

Yeah, she's crazy.

[Paige]

So she gets fired. Like, fired. And then she thinks it's because she was the one who was, like, doing the wage gap stuff. And then when she's gone, the girls then start their own. Like, they continue it without her, and they get a settlement for, like, 25 million. But, like, a settlement is not what they needed. They needed, like, the rules change. Don't just give, like, what you thought we might have been owed.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But then in the meantime, like, Hope gets into, like, a big family brawl and she gets arrested for, like, punching someone.

[Hannah]

I think she punched, like, her sister or something.

[Paige]

Yeah. And, like, where blurry, which is interesting.

[Hannah]

Because, yes, I think she ended up getting arrested for domestic violence. We don't have sisters, but from what I hear about sisters, punching each other in the face is the fucking norm.

[Paige]

And we don't condone violence. I know multiple siblings, boys and girls who have broken each other's bones, killed each other, and then the next day, they're good.

[Hannah]

But one time, I kicked my brother in the throat, and I called 911 on myself.

[Paige]

I said, I.

[Hannah]

Yes. I said I kicked my brother in the throat. I don't think he can breathe.

[Paige]

Did you karate kick him?

[Hannah]

No, I kicked him. I was laying like this. Okay. And he was laying on the other end of the couch. So we were, like, feet to head, and he was pissing me off about something, so I just kicked him right in the throat, and he was like, well, he has asthma. And so he literally started dying. And my mom was upstairs and I was little, I was only like 6 years old. And I got so scared, so I started crying. And then I called 911 giving JonBenet Ramsey.

[Paige]

Oh, my God. Wait, so apparently. Sorry, I've been scrolling my phone. Apparently someone said the dad was like, no one's checked who the male DNA was on JonBenet Ramsey. And everyone's like, yeah, because it was the brother and you didn't want people to look at it.

[Hannah]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. The dad recently said no one's checked.

[Paige]

The male DNA on jump.

[Hannah]

How does he know it was male DNA?

[Paige]

That's a good question. Look, I cannot do follow up questions. I'm just saying random stuff that I can.

[Hannah]

We know this poor girl. Rest in peace. I mean, every couple years they're bringing up JonBenet Ramsey. Either figure it out or let it go, period. I have seen a conspiracy theory that people think that Katy Perry is jumping Ramsey. And that's one I like to go with.

[Paige]

Wait, I like that.

[Hannah]

Me too. I'm like, that makes me feel bad.

[Paige]

I keep getting Avril videos of her on stage and people being like, that's not her.

[Hannah]

No. I love conspiracy theories. That there's like multiple celebrities, like look alikes that go. Honestly, guys, if you catch Giggly Squad live tonight and you feel like something's a little bit off, I. I found a doppelganger. I'm in the bed. We just started our tour, which means we are tired. But the one thing I'm really trying to stick to is drinking my Stanley, taking my vitamins. And a very essential part of that is drinking my AG1 every morning. Especially being on tour, I have to pay more attention to my body and making sure, you know, I don't pass out on stage. And AG1 has been such an integral part of my nutrition for the past two years. 97% of people in a research study felt more energy after 30 days of drinking AG1. And AG1 contains ingredients that support sustained energy. So you can be the best version of yourself each and every day. If I had to recommend one product to support whole body health, it's definitely AG1. And that's why I'm excited to have them as our partner. Starting your journey with AG1 is a win. So try AG1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin D, 3, K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com giggly that's drinkag1.com giggly check it out.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Okay, so I have a real life story that just happened to me in Chicago. So Hannah and I were there for Giggly Squad and Hannah's mom and came and obviously Lois and Lenore Berner looked so cute in her outfit. And I was like, where is your outfit from? And she was like, oh my God. The whole thing is Quint. She had the most adorable maxi cashmere sweater dress on. It was this like ivory color. It was gorgeous. And I obviously knew Quint was known for their magnolian cashmere sweaters, but she also had on this gorgeous matching cardigan. Quint has everything. They have denim, they have leather jackets. Quince's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands and they only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. And of course, premium fabrics and finishes for luxury feel in every piece. So get cozy. And Quince's high quality wardrobe essentials go to quince.com giggly for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E dot com giggly to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com giggly okay, when I'm thinking about what I'm getting people for the holidays, I always think of, well, what comes in a set. And you can find the most perfect Holiday [e-mail] When I saw that Skims launched their holiday shop, I feel like I finally got into the Christmas spirit and I was ready to decorate my apartment. Everyone I know is getting skims for the holidays. I just got like their winter matching bra and underwear set. And they're so cute. It like actually makes me want to go skiing, even though I'm definitely afraid of going skiing again. But there's nothing like a matching set to get me into the holiday spirit. The winter set that I got from Skims is the Fits Everybody Scoop Bralette. They're adorable. And obviously I got the matching underwear. They come in the cutest little boxes and they're just the perfect little stocking stuffer. You can get the cheeky briefs or whatever style you prefer. So shop [e-mail] available in styles for women, men, kids, and even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select Giggly Squad in the dropdown menu that follows.

[Hannah]

I feel like we're hearing so much about our food and what we're eating, and if it's even healthy for us. That's why Thrive Market is something I honestly never think about, but in a good way. Their food is certified organic always and Thrive Market studies every label to search for the best wholesome ingredients that have been vetted for safety. This is why you don't have to spend hours reading the back of ingredient labels or even thinking about where you're getting your food from. They restrict thousands of ingredients that are found at conventional grocery stores and every single product is vetted by their team of experts. Thrive Market is definitely on a mission to make healthy and sustainable living easy and affordable for everyone. They seek out brands and products that follow ethical practices, including fair pay and treatment for workers. They have strict quality standards and safe working conditions. Your membership even sponsors one family in need. So if you want to shop at a grocery store that actually cares for your health, go to thrivemarket.com giggly for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift. That's T H R I V E market.com giggly thrive market.com giggly Listen up.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Because I have the perfect gift for people when you don't know what to get them. I have gifted Aura Frames so many times I gifted them to Craig's parents last year. It was the perfect gift and I was literally racking my brain because I just could not come up with any ideas for a good gift. Aura Frames are seamless and easy to use. You add photos with an app with unlimited storage. It's so easy for your older relatives and easy to set up for them. You can take your favorite holiday photo that you would share with your loved ones and the story behind it and just upload it to Aura and then it will always play when their aura is on. It helps you interact with your family and friends. And if you have any family members that are bad at technology, Aura is the perfect thing for them. And it's so easy to set up, it's so easy to add pictures and it really is such a fun conversation starter. For a limited time, visit auraframes.com and.

[Hannah]

Get 45 off Aura's best selling Carver.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Matte frames by using Promo Code Giggly at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code giggly this exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is the best of the year, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply.

[D]

Hi, this is Farnoosh Tarabi, host of the Webby winning podcast Sow Money. If you're aiming for a goal, be it saving for a house, growing your family, or retiring Life makes it difficult to stay the course. But with a dedicated Merrill advisor, you get a personalized plan and a clear path forward. Having the bull at your back helps your whole financial life move with you. So when your plans change, Merill's with you every step of the way. Go to ML.combullish to learn more. Merill, a bank of Americ. What would you like the power to do? Investing involves risk. Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner and Smith Incorporated. Registered broker, dealer, registered investment advisor. Member, sipc.

[Paige]

Also, side note, I did want to tell you I've been having, like, serious anxiety because my apartment is not handled well.

[Hannah]

Your apartment?

[Paige]

My apartment. It's gotten. I've lost control of the plot. And some say it's because I'm a creative. Some people say it's because I.

[Hannah]

That's you. You're.

[Paige]

By some people, I said, it's Cosmo Creative. And I've been, like, nervous to work with, like, an organization, organization, company. Because, like, they even were like, can you send pictures? And I was like, I don't feel comfortable.

[Hannah]

You're ashamed?

[Paige]

Yes. Like Mormon shame. Because it's not okay. Like, it's giving. Hoarder.

[Hannah]

I was just gonna say, do you feel like you may have a little bit of a hoarding tendency?

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

No. You like, throwing things away.

[Paige]

I'm. I'm decisive. I want it all gone. It's just I. Whenever I'm home from tour, like, I don't have the energy to organize. And organize doesn't fulfill me. Like, I'd rather edit a video.

[Hannah]

Mmm.

[Paige]

Like, my mom, when she's stressed, she's cleaning.

[Hannah]

Same.

[Paige]

When I'm stressed, I'm eating.

[Hannah]

I actually saw a thing that it said, if you're like, girlfriend or wife just, like, starts cleaning, it's because it's organ. She. It this particular thing. She can organize, and she can't organize what's going on in her brain, so it helps. And I feel like that is so me.

[Paige]

Someone once told me, like, a clean room is a clean mind. And I never took that to heart.

[Hannah]

No, I'm very much like that. Like, if my area and space is messy, I'm uncomfy.

[Paige]

But basically, I. Because I'm, like, fully convinced I have adhd. Like, most gigglers are. Like, you are a spokesperson for ADHD based on just listening to me talk in conversation. So I trust the gigglers. But basically, like, I focus so well when the dopamine is right. So, like, you know, like. Like, on stage, I'm like, on.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Where, like, if the Dopamine from, like, me doing the dishes is not hitting. I can't get myself to do it. So, like, with adhd, it's like a. You're chasing dopamine.

[Hannah]

Like, I'll have so much on my to do list. And I'm like, what really needs to be done is my pantry.

[Paige]

See, I will never choose a pantry over, like, work. No, I won't even work out because I'm like, I have an email.

[Hannah]

No, I'm like that too. I mean, I'll find. I'll be like, I sneezed. I can't work out. That's crazy. I might choke.

[Paige]

I do want to do a shout out to. Okay. It's called Heart and Company. Underscore these. This woman and these girls. Two of them came over, were so amazing. First she comes.

[Hannah]

Oh, you got it done. You're done.

[Paige]

I'm halfway done.

[Hannah]

They were you there?

[Paige]

I was with them.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

I. They worked from. I felt like a princess. I was like, throw it away.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it's very.

[Paige]

It's. No.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

Cut his head off.

[Hannah]

It's very.

[Paige]

Just lie down the whole time. Like, yes. No cake for you. So they are from Boston, but they just moved to New York. And they. I basically was like, you guys are so fucking good. Can we hook up the gigglers? And they basically said, if you just say Hannah to them, like, message them being like, Hannah or give a discount. They want to give a free consultation. Like, they'll come over to your place and be like, this is what we'll do. This is the problem here. Da, da, da. My thing is she sees my closet and she's like, are you. How do you function with having different hangers? And I was like, what?

[Hannah]

None of your hangers match?

[Paige]

And she's like, your hangers don't match. And I go, I didn't even know my hangers don't match. Like, you're creating. You're creating a problem I didn't even know I had. And she was like, well, we're getting rid of these immediately. And I was like, those are a lot of hangers.

[Hannah]

When I hired my assistant, I said, there's one rule and there's one rule only. If a different hanger comes into this home, we immediately throw it away.

[Paige]

I didn't even know that was a thing. I didn't even know matching hangers were a thing.

[Hannah]

That's insane. I thought that was stores. What are the hangers you're using?

[Paige]

I thought it was exclusively for storage.

[Hannah]

That was exclusively for socks.

[Paige]

I don't even know how. I, like, accumulated all my hairs over the years.

[Hannah]

What's your. What's the majority of your hangers?

[Paige]

It's diverse. It's your plastic. Plastic. Felt, light, dark, whatever the mood.

[Hannah]

And I have the clear hangers from the Container Store. I feel like some gigglers haven't ever heard of the Container Store. But if you live in New York City, then, you know they're clear, like, plastic, so. And they're super thin so you can fit more clothes. And you don't really see them because they're. They're the best.

[Paige]

My thing is, I actually am a minimalist. Like, and. Well, first of all, until I was like, 22, I only wore tennis clothes and, like, the same five tennis clothes rotated. And then I guess I got some clothes, but I really wore the same clothes. Like, I started buying clothes, like, with Summer House, because I had to. But I. Let's be honest, I didn't buy that many clothes.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And then I started performing. So it's like costumes where, like, you have. I wore the same black Amazon dress for a long time, and I was getting hate, like, that.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

You love that dress.

[Paige]

Love that. Because it was like, I didn't have to choose a fucking outfit.

[Hannah]

You knew it looked good.

[Paige]

But, like, sometimes the more stuff you have, the, like, more overwhelmed you feel. Someone said, like, life is not about things you have. It's like the chase to get stuff. It's not getting it.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God.

[Paige]

Like, you. Once you got stuff you don't, you actually, like, feel like, suffocating. Yeah. Like, life is not about getting stuff. It's the path to, like, what you want. Like, it's hope and it's excitement.

[Hannah]

I will say I do love getting.

[Paige]

Stuff, but there is a point where, like, you start feeling weighed down by it. And I started to. I. I had all these tours, and then, like, I just had all these luggages from, like, that was my trip to Dublin, and that's my trip to, you know, West Hampton. It was all still in the suitcases, piled up and then old. I just. I lost control and I, like, was avoiding my apartment. And then, like, it was. No, it was really, really, really bad.

[Hannah]

I was like, I'm not going anywhere.

[Paige]

I almost was like, like, do I buy another apartment?

[Hannah]

Just burn it.

[Paige]

I was like, burn it down. Burn it to the ground. Like, I literally was like, maybe we just let this go sell the apartment and get a new one. Like, I was at that place and then these girls came over and they were so kind and nice. They actually Walked in, and they were like, finally. And I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, we wanted something good. Everyone's apartment's been, like, neat. They were like, we wanted mess.

[Hannah]

They were like, this is the worst we've ever seen. We're pumped.

[Paige]

They were like, this is the kind of project we want. And I go, I'm sorry I didn't send you photos. I, like, didn't want you to get scared and not come. Like, I thought they were gonna be like, oh, actually. Oh, we actually are busy. And they were, like, so excited. And I just realized in life, like, ask for help. Ask for help. And also, getting married does not help, like, getting married, because you have double the stuff. You double the stuff. And I'm not taking care of his. So it's just, like, me times two. So anyway, shout out to Heart and company. I'm obsessed with these girls.

[Hannah]

Thank God you had that done.

[Paige]

They're amazing. I love them. Okay, next up on the. On the ballot.

[Hannah]

Wait, let me just say this. I have a small Daphne update. I. I feel like a really absent mother.

[Paige]

No, I know. It's been, like, three.

[Hannah]

I missed her first baby tooth fall out.

[Paige]

Wait, I didn't even know they did fall out.

[Hannah]

Yeah, her baby teeth, they fall out at, like, between, like, when she's born. Like, at, like. Like, around six months.

[Paige]

I think I got butter. At, like, around, like, seven months.

[Hannah]

So she probably. They all probably already were out.

[Paige]

Wait, so also, you have, like, a. The cutest cat sitter who's sending you paragraph novels of how Daphne is, which is so cat lady coded.

[Hannah]

No, I'm obsessed with my cat sitter because they type it as if it's like, 1905. No, like, 1800s. Love.

[Paige]

Daphne woke up, like, letter.

[Hannah]

Like, I'm away at war.

[Paige]

Yes.

[Hannah]

Like, they use the word whilst and shit. And I'm obsessed.

[Paige]

But I feel like when people have a dog, they're like, here's. You know, here's.

[Hannah]

Here's Jeremy, and he ate, and now he's running around.

[Paige]

They're like, daphne woke up feeling a little sad from her nap, and then she walked over to the living room and licked.

[Hannah]

They're like, she strutted over to her water bowl. I'm like, I'm obsessed with you people.

[Paige]

Well, you also have that technology where you can see my furbo. See, I would die if I had a furball. First of all, I wouldn't pay attention to anyone. I'd be just like, I'm furboying.

[Hannah]

No, I mean, catch me on Summer house this summer, laying in my bed furboing my dog, so. Or my cat. Oh, my God.

[Paige]

Well, Daphne's dog is dog coded.

[Hannah]

No, she is. She gives dog energy.

[Paige]

Wait, so we've. We didn't tell anyone about, like, the US Open yet?

[Hannah]

Oh, no, we didn't.

[Paige]

He went to the US Open. I wore kitten heels.

[Hannah]

You were kitten heels. You love those kitten heels, Zara.

[Paige]

I'm still wearing them.

[Hannah]

No. They're so comfy. Right There's.

[Paige]

That's all I care about is comfort.

[Hannah]

Zara, shoes are pretty comfortable, and they are sized. I actually think they're sized a little big. So, like, sometimes I get a six and a half, even though I'm a seven. But those were a seven, so I felt like they fit you better.

[Paige]

And they're. I love it. A little wide.

[Hannah]

Yeah, they're a little wide.

[Paige]

Like my. No, I'm just kidding. So we had like. Like, we had fun.

[Hannah]

We had so much fun.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

First of all, I didn't know there was an Italy.

[Hannah]

I, like, forgot about that.

[Paige]

Well, the Open has officially become, I guess, you know, honestly, since COVID I think events are now, like, cherished.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

That's why, like, live shows are so cool, and, like, celebrities going to events are so cool. But when I saw Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce show up at the Open, I was like, oh, God, the Open, just, like, it's going to become so popular now.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

So happy you brought this up.

[Paige]

Don't you dare.

[Hannah]

I have to.

[Paige]

What?

[Hannah]

I literally have to. There's something about a man in a bucket hat that, for me, personally, I'm against it. I'm fully against it. I might draw up a petition, and there's something about a man in a Gucci bucket hat with a Gucci matching polo shirt that I'm really not here for. If any other man did this and it wasn't Taylor Swift's boyfriend, people would be rioting.

[Paige]

Well, he does it with, like, kind of a. What's it called? In cheek. In his cheek. Cheeky. Tongue in cheek. I think it's tongue in cheek, but it's like, he's goofy, he's funny. I want to know the conversation of when they're getting ready. She's like, what are you gonna wear, babe? And is she like, I'm obsessed with that outfit. I love you for you. But also, did he always dress like this?

[Hannah]

Like, if your shirt says Gucci, your hat certainly does not need to say it. And, like, we get it. Obviously, you can afford multiple Gucci outfits.

[Paige]

He looked like Me at the airport trying to pull off a hat where everyone's staring, and they're like, whoa.

[Hannah]

I'm just, like, hashtag paged against men in bucket hats.

[Paige]

I am, like, interested. I feel like they actually do not get to spend a lot of time together. So it's, like, interesting to see when they are together that it's, like. Like in a public eye. Like, I feel like it's so much pressure and everyone's looking at how they act.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Well, I would say, like, if you're dating long distance and say you're dating for four years, I feel like you're actually dating for two, because the amount of time you're apart.

[Paige]

You and Craig have been dating for three weeks. No, literally, you're three weeks in. You just met that man. I dated this guy, like, the summers we'd be together in college, and then we did long distance when I was at college. And then I was like, this man is it. And then the second we got back, I graduated and we moved in with my parents, like, three months in. I was like, who the fuck is this dude?

[Hannah]

You're just like, I can't.

[Paige]

It's all been made up in my head. And it was, like, the stupidest stuff that was annoying me.

[Hannah]

I can't believe you moved in with your parents and your boyfriend.

[Paige]

That's so my parents.

[Hannah]

Interesting.

[Paige]

They do charity for men, my parents.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

No. Well, they, like. They're like, if you care about him, like, we're rooting for him. And he was, like, going to school in the city, and they were like, bring him.

[Hannah]

Wow. Words my mom's never said. If you care about him, we care about him. My mom's actively like, we hate him. Okay, so figure it out.

[Paige]

The thing is, he was, like, a really nice guy, and my mom loved him.

[Hannah]

My mom hated my college boyfriend. As she should.

[Paige]

I should.

[Hannah]

I mean, she should.

[Paige]

She's always been right. She's always been right. So anyway, the open was fun.

[Hannah]

Who did we see play?

[Paige]

We saw Sabalenka. And we saw Tiafo.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

And we ran into Sierra.

[Hannah]

We ran into Sierra. We. We stopped in the gray goose box for a minute. For a little.

[Paige]

We saw Taylor Fritz's girlfriend. The Morgan Riddle.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Which was just fun. Like, the energy.

[Hannah]

It was fun. And we brought dez.

[Paige]

And we brought Desmond.

[Hannah]

Wow.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

You never call him Desmond.

[Paige]

I. Sometimes I throw it in just to be crazy, because he seems like a different guy. I'm like, that's my other husband, Desmond. He. No, he was Desmond that night.

[Hannah]

Because Desmond's a great name.

[Paige]

Strong.

[Hannah]

If you had a son, would you name him Desmond?

[Paige]

No.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

I don't. Why are we complicating the family dynamics? Like, my dad is Dan, his son is Dan. And then it's like, is it Danny? Is it Daniel? How are we not yelling the Taylor Swift that was like Taylor Swift. So Taylor Swift goes, and the guy playing his name is Taylor. So everyone's yelling, go Taylor. Go Taylor. So she must have been like a stimulated, over stimulated and been like, are.

[Hannah]

People yelling, yelling my name at a sporting event? I'd actually have to leave. I'd legitimately pack up my things and head on out.

[Paige]

What did you honestly think of the honey deuce?

[Hannah]

I love the honey deuce. I don't know why people like it's not an available drink at other like bars.

[Paige]

I think cuz like the melons are difficult. They have to make like rounded melons.

[Hannah]

The honeydew.

[Paige]

Honeydew. I also don't trust honeydew. I feel like it's like an avocado where it's good for like three minutes.

[Hannah]

Well, they're definitely like in season. There's like a season for them.

[Paige]

Are you a honeydew farmer?

[Hannah]

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[Farnoosh Tarabi]

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[Paige]

Wait. Also, I threw the first pitch of the Mets game. I didn't tell you. Yeah, you didn't tell me.

[Hannah]

I literally just saw it on Instagram.

[Paige]

I kept saying I'm going to the Mets game. But I didn't want to tell you.

[Hannah]

No, I don't even think you were going to the Mets game.

[Paige]

I kept saying it, but you literally don't process sports events. No, like you.

[Hannah]

I saw. My first thought was.

[Paige]

What was your first thought?

[Hannah]

My first thought was, I love a yoga pant on the field.

[Paige]

Well, this is my thing. Like, I wasn't there to fuck around. Like, I was there to throw the pitch.

[Hannah]

Did you practice prior? Who'd you practice with? Des in your backyard?

[Paige]

Yes. And Aiden was filming and I kept looking at the video being like, I don't like that technique. I. But this is.

[Hannah]

Did you make it to home plate?

[Paige]

Yes, this is. I'm. Power was not a problem for me.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

It was control.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

You know, and so if you're bored, watch 50 Cent throw the first pitch. He. He's lefty and he just went totally to the right and like, basically he threw it at the wrong person. Like, it was so embarrassing, but it's hilarious. And like, I love 50 Cent. Shout out 50. And then Mariah Carey had the best one where she literally throws it straight down and like, then like giggles and is like proud of herself, which was iconic.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

But I was like, people started placing bets. Like my friends being like, you know, $20, she's not going to hit the home plate, all this stuff. So. But I also was like, I don't want to overthink it because if you practice too much, you're actually like putting too much pressure on yourself. I'm like, it's the same as a service motion. Like, I know how to fucking throw a ball. But I get there and they were like, hey, you can't throw from the top of the mound. You have to throw either in front of the mound, which I wasn't gonna.

[Hannah]

Do, or behind it.

[Paige]

No. Or just like, you can't stand at the top. You just stand like, on it. But like kind of in the.

[Hannah]

Why don't they let you stand on the top?

[Paige]

I guess they don't want you to like, like scuff up the rubber or something.

[Hannah]

Oh, I thought it was going to be like a superstitious thing where like, they don't let anyone stand on this top unless it's like the actual picture.

[Paige]

So then I get there and I'm not standing on the grass. Cuz I'm like, I'm a. I'm a big girl and I stand on the grass. But then I get there and you're standing on a slant.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Paige]

Like you're skiing. So like, you're throwing, but, like, it's going down. So I was gonna do this whole foot move, and then I realized I'm slanted, and. And DEZ is catching the pitch, and I'm like, oh, DEZ was catching it.

[Hannah]

Oh, they don't use the catch they.

[Paige]

Normally do, but they switch something, like, order wise. And they were like, can DEZ do it? Because the guys are like.

[Hannah]

They have to make you feel more comfortable.

[Paige]

Yeah, but if he didn't catch it, then, like, people would have been like, boo.

[Hannah]

Why are you standing?

[Paige]

Because I was showing my pitch.

[Hannah]

Oh, okay.

[Paige]

I just stood up to. Was that. Did that stress you out? Like, can everyone calm the. So anyway, I ended up throwing it, like, a little higher than I wanted, but, like, I'm not gonna, you know, tear myself apart about it. But it was fun. And then we. I ended up interviewing some of the Mets, so those videos are gonna come.

[Hannah]

Out soon, so I can't wait to see.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Were they funny?

[Hannah]

Any of them funny? Like, the Mets players? Not your.

[Paige]

They were funny. And I think, like, they rarely get interviews, like, what I did. So, like, at first, they're like, what the is she asking me? I asked them about their skincare routine.

[Hannah]

What's the age range of a Met player? Like, how old are they?

[Paige]

Great question.

[Hannah]

Like, in their late 20s.

[Paige]

They seemed like 25 to 35. Baseball is, like, hard to get to the pros. Like, you have to, like, go through a lot of levels together.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, all those farm teams.

[Paige]

Yeah, the farming. The cantaloupe farms.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

Melon farms.

[Hannah]

They're like triple A.

[Paige]

Triple A.

[Hannah]

And I'm like, that gets you batteries out of your car.

[Paige]

Yeah. So, like. So to get there, it takes time, but. And then some of them go to, like, they're like, 45 or something.

[Hannah]

Oh, wow.

[Paige]

Like, you can play baseball till you're pretty old because you could just pit. Like, I don't know.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

No, you can. It's.

[Hannah]

Here's what I find interesting about some of the men's sports. You can be really out of shape for some men's sports, and it's, like, fine. Like, you know, it's kind of crazy. You could be a pitcher and be extremely overweight.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And it's fine.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Golfers, do they work out?

[Paige]

Well, it's funny because the ones who do work out get injured all the time.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, there are some golfers, and I'm like, that looks like my dad's friend.

[Paige]

Like, they're like, that's.

[Hannah]

But that's insane. That He's a full on multi millionaire.

[Paige]

Well, certain positions, they, like, don't. Well, I mean, look at the football guys. Some of them are, you know, huge. But that's their position. They need to be.

[Hannah]

Right. That. Yeah, that I classify as, like, different because, like, their. Their job is to, like, block people, so they have to be massive. But even that, I'm like, I wouldn't. I couldn't sign up for that.

[Paige]

I do have to say, yeah, I don't think that's what you were meant.

[Hannah]

To do to be a defensive lineman in another life.

[Paige]

I did up my Prozac because I'm.

[Hannah]

You have an extra fucking chipper.

[Paige]

This weekend I'm doing fantasy football, so I had to up my Prozac because fantasy football season is stressful. I'm playing Jared Freed this week. Okay. And we're texting. It's intense.

[Hannah]

I'm gonna be honest. I don't get how it works, and I don't think I need to know.

[Paige]

Yeah. The only thing I would tell you is that everyone picks players. So you, like, create your own team.

[Hannah]

And you can be on and the players can be from any team, any team.

[Paige]

So that's why, like, when you turn on a game, you'd be like, oh, I have that receiver. So I'll watch to see if they get any points. The stress that comes from it is that anything can happen and you create a bench. So, like, some guys are on the bench and then some guys are playing. And sometimes guys on your bench will score a ton of points and you don't get the points because you didn't put them in because you thought the other guy was going to do better. And then you leave the bar crying.

[Hannah]

Craig's favorite day is Sunday, when they pick their fantasy football teams and they do relay races to see, like, who. The order of who picks.

[Paige]

Oh, yeah, that's like a frat boy thing.

[Hannah]

My brother just sent me a video of his friend. They were picking their order of who picks their team, and it was his baby in his crib picking the names out of a bowl, and the baby was picking it.

[Paige]

Wait. I think there's a funny joke about how, like, gender reveal parties are, like, similar to fantasy football draft parties. There's some correlation there.

[Hannah]

I don't know if I would have a gender reveal party.

[Paige]

You would do something, like, so tasteful.

[Hannah]

Like, I actually don't know if I would because I feel like I'm gonna be laying in that bed and they're gonna be like, do you want to know? And I'm like, immediate. I wanted to know yesterday.

[Paige]

I'm gonna know from your wedding events how your baby stuff will be like, we're gonna see.

[Hannah]

I'm not as concerned with my gender reveal. I'm more concerned. I think about my child's first birthday a lot. Thought, oh, my God, what's the theme?

[Paige]

But they're not gonna remember it.

[Hannah]

That's okay. The people there will.

[Paige]

Wait. I actually love making fun of a gender reveal. But, like, low key. Like, when you see someone, like, serving a tennis ball and it, like, pops open, I'm like, that was kind of fun.

[Hannah]

Yeah. No, they do seem fun.

[Paige]

But, like, I'm not inviting. A lot of people wanted to be like me and my dad.

[Hannah]

I've never been invited to a gender reveal.

[Paige]

Well, we don't have any friends with children.

[Hannah]

That's true. That's actually spot on.

[Paige]

You know that none of my friends are married.

[Hannah]

Really.

[Paige]

I mean, my Wisconsin friends are.

[Hannah]

I feel like I'm very split. I either have really single friends or very married friends.

[Paige]

None of my city friends are married.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Because we got a brain on us.

[Paige]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Do you know that the two happiest demographics are single women and married men? No, I'm not kidding. That's a real.

[Paige]

Which is literally so such a mind.

[Hannah]

Men's life lives significantly improve when they get married.

[Paige]

Yep.

[Hannah]

And women's quality of life significantly goes down.

[Paige]

Would you raise a baby on your own?

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Paige]

That's very celebrity of you. Celebrities love doing that. Like Kylie.

[Hannah]

I almost feel like I'd do a.

[Paige]

Better job or be in a lesbian relationship.

[Hannah]

100%.

[Paige]

Did you hear the story about Dakota Johnson? Thought Celsius was just like. Like vitamin water. And she started drinking it on set and she said, like, she couldn't fall asleep at night. And she thought she was just, like, so inspired by this movie. But then, like, she couldn't sleep for, like, because she was chugging Celsius. And then someone was like, you realize that's like, Celsius.

[Hannah]

PR is scrambling. Scrambling.

[Paige]

Well, like, clearly it's. It's. But I. I have a lot of people been, like, just drink, like, a couple sips of that.

[Hannah]

I've had one Celsius in my entire life. And I said, you guys gotta be kidding me. This is illegal.

[Paige]

Is it like the electric lemonade at Panera?

[Hannah]

Yeah. I don't. Like, my heart was racing. My hands were shaking.

[Paige]

They have to put warning labels on this.

[Hannah]

I was blinking at two times speed. It was. I never in my. I was never picked up Enough.

[Paige]

You're like, I started a company. I closed my company.

[Hannah]

Celsius invited me to something. I said, I think you guys are crazy. No, you guys freak me out with your drink.

[Paige]

Also, you know, it's back. Altoid sours.

[Hannah]

I saw that.

[Paige]

Which, honestly, what a throwback.

[Hannah]

Can I tell you? I was a full on drug dealer in the seventh grade with Altoid sours. My dad always had me stalked. Like, he would stop at the gas station or, like, CVS or whatever, and he'd always pick me up a pack, and I had them all in my backpack and everyone knew to come to me.

[Paige]

You were cool.

[Hannah]

I was. Was the coolest.

[Paige]

I love how you're like, we got two of these, we got one of these.

[Hannah]

I got orange sour altoids. I got grape, I got cherry. Like, what do you need?

[Paige]

Also, I pulled out a Listerine strip at the open. That was crazy.

[Hannah]

No. DEZ was appalled. Hannah pulls out Listerine strips, and then she proceeds to pull out each actual Listerine strip and hand us the strip, like. And Des looked at her as if she had just. Just hawked a loogie into all of our drinks. He was like, usually you let people take their oats.

[Paige]

Well, I was doing it like a communion. I was like, I actually preferred you grab it. Let out your tongue. I will place it on the tongue. The power of Christ compels you.

[Hannah]

I actually preferred you getting it out for me.

[Paige]

No, I see now, looking back, me putting my fingers on everyone's little Listerine strip was fucked up. But I was dealing with it like gum. Except gum has a wrapper, right? So look, I. I'm like, I haven't Listerine stripped in a while.

[Hannah]

Also, that I love a Listerine strip.

[Paige]

I think it's like, the only thing that works with breath.

[Hannah]

Two of those strips and you're good to go.

[Paige]

It is probably like Chernobyl. Like, it's definitely not good for you. Like, right?

[Hannah]

Because, like, we're not supposed to swallow Listerine.

[Paige]

But yet something that's. It got, like, kind of stuck on one of my tooths. Yeah, My teeth. And I thought my tooth was gonna burn off.

[Hannah]

Yeah, no, they're powerful, but I was.

[Paige]

Trying to play it cool at the.

[Hannah]

They're small but mighty.

[Paige]

Small but mighty. But that's what I want.

[Hannah]

I have something to say, and it's going to offend you, okay? And I want to say that I apologize, but I don't, because I truly feel this way. You never crave water like, plain water?

[Paige]

Never once.

[Hannah]

And I don't know if I trust people that don't crave plain water at least sometimes.

[Paige]

It was because as a kid, my babysitter, my mom would drop me off to, like, be babysat and they would, like, give me apple juice. So, like, I. It was like crack. So I, like, was craving sugar. So then my mom was like, water it down. Like, she had to, like, taper me off it.

[Hannah]

There. She was like, hands.

[Paige]

Also, my dad is like that. My dad will, like, walk into the fridge and just like, chug juice. And my mom's like, you're disgusting. Have a water like a normal person.

[Hannah]

No, Like, I actively will wake up in the middle of the night and if, like, my water has flavoring, I can't drink it. I'm like, I need a plain water.

[Paige]

I woke up this morning and there was just water. And I go, I'm not drinking that.

[Hannah]

It's the only thing that will, like, really quench my thirst.

[Paige]

Well, a Gatorade with, I like, watered down juices. Half Gatorade, half ju, Half water. Water with a little meal.

[Hannah]

Yeah, you're not a big. Here's what I think is interesting. You're actually not a big sugar person. Like, I never see dessert.

[Paige]

No, it's not about the sugar. It's about the flavor. I think I drank a lot of Gatorade as a kid.

[Hannah]

You know, I wasn't allowed to have.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Gatorade as a child.

[Hannah]

That was like one of the rules. But, like, we could have Lucky Charms. I was like, mom, pick a side.

[Paige]

Wait. I fully was like, well, cereal is healthy because it's breakfast.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

No, literally, why would we start the day bad, right?

[Hannah]

Cinnamon toast crunched the fuck out of me.

[Paige]

We had Kashi growing up. It was like the healthy.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

I was just with a group of.

[Hannah]

People and we were saying our favorite cereals, and someone for serious said Raisin Bran. And I almost left. I was like, you can't. That's not like a serious.

[Paige]

I like Raisin Bran with granola, but.

[Hannah]

Not as your favorite.

[Paige]

Granola is not great for you. Granola's like eating cookies these days. Yeah. Final doc that everyone has to watch Chimp Crazy.

[Hannah]

It's so good.

[Paige]

I just started it. You finished it?

[Hannah]

Well, I think it's. They're coming out weekly. I think there's maybe one or two more episodes left, but I've watched all three.

[Paige]

Okay. Amazing.

[Hannah]

Actually, maybe last night it came out.

[Paige]

I think it just came out. I have to catch up because I've been behind on my shows. I don't know when you found the time?

[Hannah]

No, I've been showing it up. It's very similar to the theme of, like, Tiger King, but it's about monkey. And it's. They basically are crazy.

[Paige]

But they were like, monkeys are 98.4% human. And I was like, you got me. What's about to happen here.

[Hannah]

The one lady was like, I love these monkeys more than my kids. And then they have her kids on. They're like, yeah, it wasn't great. It doesn't feel great.

[Paige]

Oh, yeah. She was like, having a monkey is different than your children because a monkey's love is real. And I was like, oh.

[Hannah]

They're like. They never leave you. They always, like, need you. And it's like, yeah, because they're an animal and you have them in a cage. So would a human if you had them caged up.

[Paige]

Also, like, the whole exotic animal thing.

[Hannah]

I don't get it.

[Paige]

Well, like, they have to, like, traffic animals, and it's in the weirdest places in America. It was in, like, Missouri or something.

[Hannah]

She was like, I can get you any animal, any animal.

[Paige]

You gotta go to this small town, Missouri, and it's full of exotic animals.

[Hannah]

And I'm like, I don't love that.

[Paige]

I don't love that at all.

[Hannah]

What is going on in the middle of the country where they're having at home? Zoos.

[Farnoosh Tarabi]

Zoos.

[Hannah]

Is there that many people that are going to these freaking zoos also?

[Paige]

I feel like I watched Planet of the Apes at a young age and was like, oh, like, that could happen.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, they just take over.

[Paige]

I thought the apes would be more of a problem throughout my life. Well, like quicksand.

[Hannah]

Here's the thing. They keep them, like. So they're. They don't start out like that. It's because they literally keep them caged up that then. Yeah. They freak the out.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And then they kill you. As they should.

[Paige]

Okay. Don't give away the plot.

[Hannah]

If someone kept me locked up.

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I'm figuring out a plan to kill you.

[Paige]

Well, if you're saying they're basically human, like, you can't lock them up. Like, they're a fucking bird.

[Hannah]

No.

[Paige]

And you can't lock up birds either.

[Hannah]

And like, here's the other crazy part. They're, like, breeding these exotic animals, but, like, trying to domesticate them. And it's like, yeah, this is a wild animal. Let them go be wild.

[Paige]

Well, I saw in the first, she was saying how she did these, like, chimp parties where she'd take these chimps and People would pay money to have the chimp at your birthday party.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

And then her husband, at one point, his nose is like. He has, like, a huge scar around his nose. And she was like, oh, yeah, something happened. And, like, a chimp bit his nose off. And I had to, like, find the nose and, like, put it back on.

[Hannah]

He died. He ended up dying.

[Paige]

And it was. He probably got murdered because I think the chimp didn't like the man, the other man. But long story short, the chimp can do nothing wrong.

[Hannah]

In my eyes, no me, the chimp.

[Paige]

Is being fucking mistreated. The chimp is perfect. You're trying to put the chimp in situations that the chimp shouldn't be in.

[Hannah]

Yeah. At the end of the day, justice for the chimps.

[Paige]

Justice for chimps. Justice for animals.

[Hannah]

Here's the other thing. These people look insane. You look. You can't. Fucking clowns.

[Paige]

You can't trust anyone who you don't like their outfit.

[Hannah]

You're like, I really can't. If I have a problem with your eyebrows and your hair, we probably won't get along because I don't see life in the same color lenses.

[Paige]

You see life 100%. No. There's some crazy hairdos in it. I think she wears wigs.

[Hannah]

I think she wears wigs. And I will say she rotates them. She's never giving the same look twice. And for that, I think there was.

[Paige]

Four different women being interviewed.

[Hannah]

Who is this?

[Paige]

This is the thing the Mormon girls need to learn from this woman.

[Hannah]

No.

[Paige]

And get some different hairdos. But this woman's taking it too far.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Paige]

You guys, we are so excited to be on tour. This is the end of our first. First leg. There's a lot of legs. It's like a spider. If you haven't gotten tickets to your city, definitely get it. We love you guys so much. Oh, also, if you're on tour, we have different special merch that's just for tour. Get there early because the lines have been long to get your tour merch. And we love you guys so much. Check out our newsletter Rate Subscribe Review Swipe up. Give us your first. Boring. Thank you. Love you. Thanks for giggling.