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Hannah Berner
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Paige Desorbo
That's.
Hannah Berner
That's 20% off your first order with Code giggly@liquid IV.com.
Paige Desorbo
Sup, gigglers?
Hannah Berner
Gary, fix your Wi Fi.
Paige Desorbo
Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
Hannah Berner
I mean, the day just got away from me.
Paige Desorbo
What up my sea glass Gigglers? It's the summer still, even though I feel like it's almost over. Stay hopeful. Stay, stay wise. Love wins.
Hannah Berner
I don't know why, but in my head, like I. Whenever we're starting the pod, I try to telepathically think what you're gonna say and my head immediately went to grass fed. Grass fed gigglers.
Paige Desorbo
See, you know what? You should have stepped in on that one because sea glass doesn't even start.
Hannah Berner
With a G. It doesn't.
Paige Desorbo
But you supported me.
Hannah Berner
The second word does.
Paige Desorbo
The second word does. And you know what? Life is about perspective. This is my favorite kind of podcast because look, there's different energies every time we enter the pod. This one, Paige goes press record. I have things to say. And I said, I said, yes, ma'.
Hannah Berner
Am.
Paige Desorbo
Yes ma'. Am.
Hannah Berner
First, I just like when I'm by myself and which is 90% of the time, like things will happen in my day to day and I'm like, wow, the Gigglers would really get this. Or like, wow, I'd love to call Hannah. In this one moment today, I did something so diabolical by myself that I literally giggled the whole way home. So I woke up this morning, did my little hot girl walk, went to acupuncture, just like living my life. And I am someone that is allergic to dairy. And you know what we do? We persevere. We ignore it. It's not for us. It's for a different day. So when I have my coffee in the morning, I'm immediately bloated after.
Paige Desorbo
That's just part of. That's the tax of life.
Hannah Berner
There's few things you can count on, and that's one of them.
Paige Desorbo
Why do I feel like if I say skim or if I say oat, it's like I'm a loser. I lost. Like I can't.
Hannah Berner
Your body can't handle it strong enough. That's how I feel. I'm like, grow up and drink the 2%. Like, what?
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
So I'm get done with acupuncture. I'm walking back to my apartment. I also have to pee, but I'm also just bloated. And so in my head I'm like, everyone on the street is like, look.
Paige Desorbo
At this bloated, disgusting girl with holes in her face.
Hannah Berner
She needs to get her gut checked. Like something's going on. So I'm feeling really insecure in this like two minute walk that I have home. So you know what I do? I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone at the same time with my friend Stephanie. And we're chatting and I just put my hand on my stomach like this is a pregnant lady's stomach. And I go, you know what? Now the reaction on the street is, look at this soon to be mother prioritizing her health. And I'm also in a workout outfit, prioritizing her health and working out.
Paige Desorbo
Pre needle yoga, doing pretty prenatal yoga, thinking of the baby's health and her own. This is so weird because in my new standup hour, I have a full bit about this. I don't want to give it away, but like, we're on the exact same page. You're an adorable fertile angel instead of someone.
Hannah Berner
My first trimester. Okay, wait.
Paige Desorbo
First trimester girls snaps for you. Because people don't know. Like, people easily think, like, she's let herself go, but instead you're actually the most nauseous, horrible. Like you're not even getting the respect of a pregnant person.
Hannah Berner
No, people aren't giving you their seat yet.
Paige Desorbo
I know. And then if you do, people are like. And apparently it's the most. It's the most nausea. Sometimes that's gonna be me. Besides the whole milk that just throws a wretch into everything you do. How's your self care summer going?
Hannah Berner
Hannah? I had a moment yesterday where I was like, hold the phone. Is anyone gonna let me know that Sundays in the summer are quite possibly the best day on the planet? Every Sunday in the summer is the best Sunday ever.
Paige Desorbo
You're literally. You're an alien that just got put back on earth and realized what a summer weekend is.
Hannah Berner
I actually feel like someone who's been in jail.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
And then I have to. And they let me out and I did my time.
Paige Desorbo
You have to accl society.
Hannah Berner
And I'm acclimating back into society where I'm almost like, oh, my God, no. Should I go back? Because I don't know how to acclimate. And then finally I'm just like, wait a minute. I mean, yesterday all I did was organize my reorganize, like my closet and put things in different sections. And like, I'm over color coding things. Like, that's my new thing.
Paige Desorbo
I'm obsessed with you.
Hannah Berner
And let me tell you this. I'm so girly. And like, I love grooming. Like, I've loved.
Paige Desorbo
You would just like, brush your hair all day with a spa like Ariel with a spoon.
Hannah Berner
I've loved it ever since, like, high school when I, like, realized that, like, women are. We're grooming. We're always doing things.
Paige Desorbo
And you know, and you know that Daphne's grooming next to you. Like, you're both just grooming each other.
Hannah Berner
We're both just grooming. And so, like, Iman's such a good two to three week schedule with all my appointments. I haven't missed one all summer. I mean, I'm doing my lymphatic. I'm doing nad drips, I'm getting my facials. I'm. I'm going to the acupuncture. I mean, I'm getting my nails done. I'm just. I'm living the best summer life that I've ever lived.
Paige Desorbo
I've basically been touring since COVID opened up.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
And this was. I was like, doctor's orders not to tour this summer. And at first I was like, great. But I do have to say the first couple weeks, I was not okay. Like, I was tweaking. Like, you know when you always feel like you forgot something?
Hannah Berner
Yes.
Paige Desorbo
Like, I was like, did I not? Did I? Like, I Was just on alert. And I finally have hit my suburban girl summer.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
Where I don't even know what time it is, and I don't care.
Hannah Berner
It's also probably a little harder for you to relax because you grew up an athlete, where I just grew up with, like, an insane mom. So anytime I'm still, I'm like, well, I could be doing more. I could be doing it better. I could be doing more things. When really it's like, maybe take a minute.
Paige Desorbo
Well, I'm back in therapy because when things quiet down for me, it gets loud. It gets loud up here.
Hannah Berner
Noisy.
Paige Desorbo
And what I like to do is tell the gigglers what my therapist saying. Because, let's be honest, my therapist is our therapist.
Hannah Berner
Remember that time she was like, how about we sing it out?
Paige Desorbo
Particularly dark time. That she'd run out of strategies. No, she had me. She had me dance off beat.
Hannah Berner
No, that was. That was hard for all of us.
Paige Desorbo
This is. This is a new one. My therapist curses. Which I kind of love.
Hannah Berner
I love that.
Paige Desorbo
I love. I love it.
Hannah Berner
Like, yeah, be real.
Paige Desorbo
She's also. She's over my. We're three sessions in. She's like, I love it. Our latest thing is I win or I learn.
Hannah Berner
Oh, I love it.
Paige Desorbo
And it takes me into our first documentary recommendation of the week. Why do I turn into a TED Talk?
Hannah Berner
Like, sometimes you turn into, like, old school radio, where you're doing, like, these little anecdotes in between the top 10.
Paige Desorbo
Hits, you know, I'm also like, Cosmopolitan magazine. And this is how to feel self esteem again.
Hannah Berner
Like. And that rolls us into yet again the number one spot.
Paige Desorbo
And here's our weekly quote of the day.
Hannah Berner
I miss KCK Some. Remember that. Do you remember that when we were little, it was like the radio, it was like the top 20 hits on, like, Saturday morning.
Paige Desorbo
Or I was just like, Z100. And then it's like, do you want to win this ticket? And then listening to the fan and some guy cursing out someone about the Yankees.
Hannah Berner
But I went through a phase with my, like, eighth grade friends that, like, we would call radio stations and prank phone call them and my one girlfriend's name would always be Paprika through, like, a really weird phase with that.
Paige Desorbo
But, like, that's a good cat name.
Hannah Berner
We went through a big prank phone call phase.
Paige Desorbo
You love prank phone calls.
Hannah Berner
I loved prank phone calls in high school.
Paige Desorbo
I could see you doing a TV show about that now. Like, didn't they have, like, TV shows about prank?
Hannah Berner
I just think pranking is so Funny. It's an art. Yes. It's a literal art. And like, as long as it's not hurting anyone, it's fun.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah. And. But that's also subjective. You're like, you're fine. And they're like, no, you're fine. I'm in therapy again. Literally, I go, you win or you learn. Okay, you win or you learn. But I. There's a Billy Joel documentary and this man, trigger warning. Do you know he tried to kill himself like twice? I didn't know early on. And it is, there is in the.
Hannah Berner
Midst of fame or like before, basically.
Paige Desorbo
He was a genius and is a genius. Like when he was 6, he was just like playing made up fancy things. Like, I don't. I don't know any. Anything about piano. But like, they always say some like crazy Russian person's name, like Chachefsky or something. That's what he was playing. Shkovitikov. He was doing that above our pay grade.
Hannah Berner
Chopin. Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
Yes, yes. Poupon. And then he basically.
Hannah Berner
Poupon.
Paige Desorbo
Also. We said it. Seriously, people would believe us. They'd be like, oh, he was good. So he. His dad, like, didn't respect him though, and was mean. And his dad left. So whatever. Like, the dad, the mom is bipolar, alcoholic, but like an icon. We love her, supports him. He's in a band with a guy. Okay, Long story short, he ends up living with the guy and the guy's wife.
Hannah Berner
Okay.
Paige Desorbo
Billy Joel's best friend and his wife. He ends up. This is literally like a sitcom. He goes, I'm in love with your wife? No, he falls in love with the best friend's wife. Now it's funny because I feel like if. If it was two girls and a guy, if the girl did it, people would be like, you're a fucking monster. But instead it was like romantic. People were like, oh, he fell in love with her. The wife.
Hannah Berner
Well, of course.
Paige Desorbo
So like. And obviously the friend was not happy and the wife just like kind of ran away from all of it. And then he started to write like some of his deeper music.
Hannah Berner
Wait, she left her husband too?
Paige Desorbo
Yeah, she left everyone. She was like, fuck this. And he's heartbroken. And that's when he wanted to kill himself. And then he gets back together with her. Elizabeth.
Hannah Berner
Oh, yeah, okay.
Paige Desorbo
And she becomes his manager. But Billy Joel's career, in the beginning, like, nothing was working. Nothing was working. Like, by the time he put out the Stranger, which is his album, that was like the best selling album ever. He already had like four kind of Floppy albums of people who didn't get him. And that's where I fell asleep last night. But I just have to say, the tea is teeing. But his whole thing is just, like. He just failed his way to the top. But I love it.
Hannah Berner
So did he ever marry that lady?
Paige Desorbo
They got married, but they got married right before he, like, blew up. And I went to sleep last night right when they were like, he was becoming a star. And that's when we knew we lost him.
Hannah Berner
Okay. And so, like, the friend, he was just like, sorry.
Paige Desorbo
The friend punched him in the face, apparently. Which, again, such a guy move.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
Say something like, that'll haunt him forever. Don't punch him in the face. Like, be creative about it. But that now they're friends again, which is so. Dude.
Hannah Berner
So, dude, your wife.
Paige Desorbo
And he's like, billy's a fun guy. Billy's fun.
Hannah Berner
I feel like if you moved in with me and my husband, the only thing that would happen is I would end up divorced. Like, we would realize that he sucks. And, like, we'd get him out. Like, there's.
Paige Desorbo
We would just start turning on him.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
Because we're bored.
Hannah Berner
Like, great. Now we can, like, bully someone together.
Paige Desorbo
I'm just there to, like, end every fight. I'd be like, I see pages point.
Hannah Berner
Yeah, you just, like, reinforce everything.
Paige Desorbo
But, oh, my gosh, the Billy Joel documentary is great. A lot of drama. Also, horrible week for cruises. Horrible week for cruises.
Hannah Berner
I'd go out and say that every week is a horrible week for cruises. I mean, you gotta be a certain type of deranged. You really do.
Paige Desorbo
Wait, have you never been on a cruise?
Hannah Berner
No, and I never would. Because here's the thing. And I know that a lot of people are probably going to be like, that's so, like, elitist to say. And, like, because cruises are. You get a bang for your buck. So I get, like, why people from.
Paige Desorbo
Albany go on cruises. Like, it's 100. It's not, like, out of your realm.
Hannah Berner
Okay.
Paige Desorbo
Like, I'm saying, you could have fell into it with the wrong. A quick wrong decision.
Hannah Berner
You hang out with the wrong crowd. You almost get sucked into it. There are multiple times where I've almost been sucked into certain cruises.
Paige Desorbo
And I'm like, they throw a couple Caribbean islands out there. And you're like, what the unlimited food. I've been on two cruises. I went on a cruise with a boyfriend once.
Hannah Berner
The thing with cruises, for me is you're trapped. You're trapped. That's the only part that I cannot wrap My head around, because not only are you trapped on this vessel, but everywhere you go, it's all the same people.
Paige Desorbo
No one learned from the Titanic. No one learned.
Hannah Berner
I don't want to have dinner with the same group of people that, like, there's so many opportunity for plotting.
Paige Desorbo
I told this story before, but the first cruise I went on, like, the first night we saw, like, the hottest guy. I was, like, 17. He must have been, like, 18. So hot in the crowd at one of these stupid shows. And my mom and I were like, well, now we have to find him. Couldn't find him all week. But, like, obsessed with it. Like, woke up. That was my journey on the voyage. Found him, like, a couple of nights before the last night. He's so weird and then starts to stalk me for the rest of the trip. And I'm running from him.
Hannah Berner
No, it's like, it's not.
Paige Desorbo
And if that's not a metaphor.
Hannah Berner
No, I can't ever go on a cruise.
Paige Desorbo
A poop cruise documentary, which. I love disturbing documentaries. I couldn't even click on it.
Hannah Berner
What does that mean?
Paige Desorbo
I think something happened with the plumbing. And, like, there was just poop coming out of everywhere. That's. See, look. That's like. That's even below my sense of humor.
Hannah Berner
I'm going overboard.
Paige Desorbo
Like, let me die with at least some clean water.
Hannah Berner
The closest I'm getting to a cruise is a huge yacht. Okay. That's the closest still.
Paige Desorbo
We like it docked.
Hannah Berner
And. Yeah. And even still, like, I'm not going on for a whole. Like, I got to go. I gotta be able to get out at any moment.
Paige Desorbo
Irish exit.
Hannah Berner
No, you can't. And that's my biggest gripe with it.
Paige Desorbo
Unless you. Yeah, no, you can't. Unless you. A little snorkel with you. But, like, that's too much admin.
Hannah Berner
Unless you get into a smaller boat to bring you to land. But it's like. It's so much. I was some. Wait, I was some. Where was I? And someone used the word admin. And I looked at her like, oh, are you a giggler? And then I remembered that admin is a real word that people use.
Paige Desorbo
You started winking at her. She was like, is your eye okay?
Hannah Berner
I. She was like, sorry, I'm just like, I'm doing so much admin right now. And I was like, like. And she just, like, looked at me, and I was like, sorry. Yeah, no, absolutely. Like, girls being silly.
Paige Desorbo
And she's like, I have.
Hannah Berner
I'm like a woman in stem. She's like, I'm A receptionist. Right.
Paige Desorbo
The second cruise documentary I highly recommend you watch. It's called where is Amy Bradley?
Hannah Berner
Yeah, I keep seeing this everywhere.
Paige Desorbo
Good.
Hannah Berner
She's in sex trafficking is where she is.
Paige Desorbo
People are unsure. Basically, she disappeared. And the truth is when you're on a cruise, this is why you shouldn't really never go on a cruise is when you're in like international waters, there's no one in charge, there's no police, like, there's no. It's lawless. So, like, when she went missing, the cruise people were like, we don't care. We have 2, 000 people on this boat that want to get off in Curacao. We're letting them off. And now it's a conspiracy. The, like, people have said they've seen her on various islands. And then some people are like, I think she just jumped off the boat. But she has this tattoo. And there's always random people being like, I saw a girl that looked like Amy in Barbados. And it's, it's who. It's really. It's dark.
Hannah Berner
I don't know what happened to her, but I know a man was involved.
Paige Desorbo
A thousand percent. She was. And you know what the worst part about it is? She's a lesbian.
Hannah Berner
And so she did.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
And she didn't want anything to do.
Paige Desorbo
With these men and these men, she literally already swore them off. These man men came into her life. So anyway, I'm not sure, but keep an eye out for Amy Bradley if you're in the Caribbean.
Hannah Berner
How many years ago was this?
Paige Desorbo
A long time?
Hannah Berner
Like 20.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah, but like, the parents are still doing everything they can to find her. And there's. There were photos that were leaked online of like from a prostitution ring and it was a woman that looked just like her.
Hannah Berner
No, the men have to be stopped. They're so annoying. Can't they just like, chill out for a second? Like literally calm down for a minute.
Paige Desorbo
No, I know. Also, like, you're in the Caribbean, take a nap.
Hannah Berner
Okay. You know, we never, like, talked about, which I feel like we have to talk about now because I. This element to it is just so fun. We never talked about the couple at the Coldplay concert.
Paige Desorbo
Oh my God, we never did.
Hannah Berner
And just like how much, I mean, national attention and how they just deep dived into all these people, all these people's lives. Two things I want to mention. One, did you see the wife of the guy, her, like, put out a statement?
Paige Desorbo
What did she say?
Hannah Berner
She basically put out a statement of like, I'm not putting Out a statement in as like a distressed woman or like whatever. I'm putting this statement out of like basically of my truth and like standing on business. Like it's not clocking to people. You know, like she was basically like, yeah, he up and. But don't worry about me. Essentially like I will like leave me out of this, please. And then the company that he worked for, which I'm pretty sure like he started.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
Hired Gwyneth Paltrow to do like about like an. About me, like about the company. And I just. This is why I stay stanning Gwyneth Paltrow. I mean if it was the company trolling him essentially. Well, they're basically whoever runs the social media or PR at this company is phenomenal.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
They're basically just capitalizing on like everybody now searching what their company even is.
Paige Desorbo
So.
Hannah Berner
So it's Gwyneth Paltrow being like, you might be wondering what Astronomer is. And it's just her saying what the company is.
Paige Desorbo
See, I saw her, I saw her say Astronomer and I was like, that is a company for astrologies. Astrology.
Hannah Berner
Yeah. I is one. It's like for astronauts. It's how they build their stuff.
Paige Desorbo
No, but like it's like, tell me what's going to happen if my moon's in Venus.
Hannah Berner
I think it actually is like something AI but whatever.
Paige Desorbo
But he.
Hannah Berner
We don't know that. We don't care. He supposedly is suing Coldplay, which for him to be suing Coldplay and then for Gwenneth to just be cashing a check off of like her ex husband's back. I.
Paige Desorbo
Something feels right.
Hannah Berner
I still live by her in that court room saying, I wish you well.
Paige Desorbo
That's your favorite quote of all time.
Hannah Berner
It's my favorite quote. It's my favorite quote.
Paige Desorbo
There's something that irks me when a man makes money off women. But even Gwyneth Paltrow making money off this, that's how it should be.
Hannah Berner
And I love it.
Paige Desorbo
Like that's how we beat the patriarchy. But the guy suing is. It's giving gaslighting. I'm like, if you didn't want that to happen, maybe you should. That's like when a guy cheats on you and then gets mad that you told your friend. It's like, then don't do it, then don't do it. If you don't want people to react, don't do it. Rich people are so used to getting everything they want. And he got cocky.
Hannah Berner
He got so cocky going to a. It's not even going to a public place. You went to an arena that is meant to be filled. I mean, do you ever, ever go into concerts? You see the most random people you've ever seen in your life? You're like, that was my best friend from third grade.
Paige Desorbo
The goal of a concert is to get on the jumbotron.
Hannah Berner
I mean, I've only been trying for years.
Paige Desorbo
What you're trying for. Don't act like you didn't know there's a Jumbotron. That's everyone's. The only reason you do it is that one day they put the camera on you for three seconds.
Hannah Berner
Also, you're. You're hugging her from behind it. You didn't have to do that. You could have been standing next to her and nothing would have happened. And be an adult. It was just so weird.
Paige Desorbo
The best part was the friend who's like, beet red next to them. And someone was like, we need to do a Hulu, like, deep dive documentary on the friend and what's going on.
Hannah Berner
I actually felt bad for that girl because I feel like people were really hating on her. Like, oh, she obviously knows. She's, like, laughing. Like, this is funny to her. Like, as someone who also laughs when they get nervous. Like, she was probably so stressed out in that moment and couldn't do anything but smile.
Paige Desorbo
No 100% what you wanted her to do. Start crying also. She's no responsibility. Leave that girl alone. She's innocent.
Hannah Berner
These people are adults. Like, they're making their own decisions.
Paige Desorbo
But that's some karmic. That's some karmic shit. And that. That was the universe. If you wonder, what are the chances. It was a small chance that it happened.
Hannah Berner
The fact that everyone in America knew about it is so. I mean, I don't. I don't know how they move on.
Paige Desorbo
Well, we're in this very strange time in the world where when something goes viral, like, it's a great thing in that people can go viral. Your career can blow up in a day, but also, people's lives can be ruined in a day. And it's kind of terrifying. It's a very.
Hannah Berner
It's beyond terrifying. And here's the other thing. There's kids involved in this. And the only people that are really suffering right now are all of those kids. Because think about just like, I couldn't imagine going to school this September after your dad just went viral for cheating on your mom. Like, they are the only people that I'm, like, even thinking about.
Paige Desorbo
But now I like need to know what happens with the saga. Like, are they still together? Yeah.
Hannah Berner
Like, are they leaning in? Are they all getting divorced?
Paige Desorbo
Are they starting a new company about how to not be caught cheating? Like, I don't know. I want to see the journey. But I do worry about people's mental health with all these things. Like, even the wife, who did not ask for this kind of attention to be exposed.
Hannah Berner
Here's the other thing. Like, they could have been separated from their partners. And, like, people could have not. I mean, they weren't, but people could have not known that and still, like, dove right into these people's lives. I just, like, I feel bad for the wife, obviously, and I feel bad for all the kids of each family.
Paige Desorbo
I also. It's funny that if they didn't act so fucking weird and obvious, no one would have known. Like, if they just held the hug. Yeah. If they just stood on business, nothing.
Hannah Berner
Would have been posted.
Paige Desorbo
If you just said it with your chest, no one would have cared.
Hannah Berner
Also, it's so interesting because I feel like obviously, like, 90% of, like, cheating happens at work because you're like, with that person all the time, which is, like, terrifying because, like, every time your spouse, like, goes to work, like, they could potentially be cheating.
Paige Desorbo
It's terrifying because we have no one to cheat with cuz we work alone. I literally was. You're like, wait a second.
Hannah Berner
I literally was like, how great for.
Paige Desorbo
Our husbands that we're just getting yelled at by grace. We're just being called millennials by grace. And that's my work day. We have our cats.
Hannah Berner
Literally. All I was thinking about, I was like, oh, my future husband's gonna, like, love. It's just me and Hannah. Unless I do go lesbian.
Paige Desorbo
No, but. No, but let's be honest. Your husband will be jealous of us. But, like, that's totally none of my business. None of my business.
Hannah Berner
And I. And I want him to be. You know, he should.
Paige Desorbo
This episode of Giggly Squad is brought to you by McDonald's. And the snack wrap is back. I'm freaking out because it was introduced to McDonald's in 2006. Shout out to my millennial girlies. And it's been on top of mind. I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm like, where's the snack wrap? Turns out it is back. It's the comeback story of a lifetime. And it's now available with one of two sauces. Ranch or spicy. I'm more of a ranch girl because I have anxiety. But if you live life on the edge. I totally support the spicy snack wrap. It has a spicy pepper sauce, probably great for your sinuses. But don't quote me on that. I'm not a doctor. And it has juicy white meat, chicken, shredded lettuce, melty cheese, creamy ranch all wrapped in a soft tortilla. Ooh. Literally need one right now. Try the snack wrap that broke the Internet at a McDonald's near you. Enjoy the snack wrap. For the first time in nine years. I'm obsessed. It's so easy to just grab at any time of the day. Morning, night, eat that snack wrap.
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Paige Desorbo
Thanks for selling your car to Carvana. Here's your check.
Hannah Berner
Whoa.
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When did I get here?
Paige Desorbo
What do you mean?
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I swear it was just moments ago that I accepted a great offer from Carvana online. I must have time traveled to the future.
Paige Desorbo
It was just moments ago. We do same day pickup. Here's your check for that great offer.
Hannah Berner
It is the future.
Paige Desorbo
It's. It's the present. And just the convenience of Carvana. Sorry to blow your mind. It's all good.
Hannah Berner
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Paige Desorbo
It's on prime.
Hannah Berner
I want to. Wow, your connection with Hannah is like so good. Wait, we have so many things to announce.
Paige Desorbo
We do.
Hannah Berner
Let's. Let's do some admin first.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah. Wait, why do I not know what we're announcing? I'm scared.
Hannah Berner
First, let me announce that. Okay, so on Thursday the 31st, Daphne is restocking their order in shirt, which is basically like the button up shirt that can go over everything. And then a full summer restock will be August 26th. Okay, so the order inserts available July 31st. And the full summer restock is August 26th.
Paige Desorbo
Admin.
Hannah Berner
And then our next announcement is Hannah and I are going to be on the Jimmy Fallon show. Not one bite, one night, but two nights.
Paige Desorbo
And what are we doing?
Hannah Berner
We are filling in for the announcer who is on vacation. And they said, who could we get to fill in this role that's loud and doesn't stop talking? Let's call Hannah and Paige. So we will be announcing the Jimmy Fallon show on Tuesday and Wednesday.
Paige Desorbo
So I think that means we're like, hello, my gorgeous Giglet.
Hannah Berner
Yeah, literally, they're like. They're like, you know what? They've announced things before they go, you.
Paige Desorbo
Know, Hannah's so good with the intros.
Hannah Berner
What are the fans called of Jimmy Fallon? Like, something. A word with an F. The.
Paige Desorbo
The Jimmy Ins.
Hannah Berner
Yeah, something. We'll figure something out. I'm sure there will be a script, but.
Paige Desorbo
Yes, hopefully there is a script, but let's be honest. It's for the fits. We're gonna. Some fits. Maybe we'll make some tiktoks, but it's for the fits. But Jimmy Fallon, you know, late night is, you know, going through a difficult time. So they. They called the big guns, which is the giggly squad.
Hannah Berner
And then for our final announcement.
Paige Desorbo
What is it?
Hannah Berner
I will be going to Hannah's house this weekend for two nights. We will just be enjoying a leisure Hamptons weekend this weekend. Hannah has so much planned, but she also said we don't have to do any of it.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah, Like, I'm gonna plan everything so we could cancel it so we get even higher high when we're laying down. I feel. I don't know. It's, like, so exciting. I feel like I'm a kid, and my mom finally said my best friend could come over for a sleepover. And I want it to go perfectly, but I also, like, don't want her to feel any pressure. And DEZ is nervous. Des is, like, being a resort manager and, like, running around talking about the grass. He's like, this grass is dry. Why is this grass dry? I'm like, okay, he's gonna notice that. My mom called me. She's like, can you make sure it's clear, clean for Paige? I'm like, yes. Everyone calm down.
Hannah Berner
No, it feels like our mom's, like, work schedules aligned, and they were like, okay, this weekend is the weekend for you guys. I'm so excited. I actually thought about, like, making a pasta salad and, like, bringing a pasta salad with me. There's just so many things.
Paige Desorbo
We can go full suburban mom. Like, we can wake up, go to Pilates. Come back, like, complain about something. Go tan, jump in the pool. Complain about more stuff.
Hannah Berner
I'm gonna absolutely, like, have a cocktail.
Paige Desorbo
Oh, yes.
Hannah Berner
I'm gonna have a cocktail at, like.
Paige Desorbo
A very random hour. And no one's gonna know. Like, you're not giving. Tell me you're drinking it.
Hannah Berner
Yeah, I'm just gonna, like, crack open a cocktail. I think that we'll probably, like, play some tennis.
Paige Desorbo
A hundred percent. And we may play golf. It's possible. The problem with golf is it's so time consuming, and I don't like being trapped. It's giving, like, the. It's giving a cruise of sports. Like, you can't just leave the golf course.
Hannah Berner
I do want to swim from one end of the pool to the other, and I do want you to time me.
Paige Desorbo
Yes. And we can do mermaids. We can do. What's it called? Handstands. We can see how long we could go underwater for. I do have extra goggles if you need.
Hannah Berner
Oh, perfect.
Paige Desorbo
And we're going to be reapplying our spf, and I'm bringing Kitty, and you're bringing Kitty who?
Hannah Berner
It's really. It's a cat sanctuary.
Paige Desorbo
Has she been to the Hamptons?
Hannah Berner
She hasn't.
Paige Desorbo
Wait. We're going to do Summer House Daphne Butter Edition and see how many fights they get into.
Hannah Berner
I kind of love that. Just, like, throwing them in a room together and being like, what do you think?
Paige Desorbo
I feel like Butter will get arrested.
Hannah Berner
Yeah. No. I'm so excited.
Paige Desorbo
I'm so excited. I'm so happy. Um, also, I have an update. This is, like, very intrusive about my life, but I feel like we're there with the gigglers. My birthday's coming up.
Hannah Berner
Yes.
Paige Desorbo
I'm turning 29, and I, Des and I, like, you start kind of running out of gifts. Like, we're year five, and, like, you know, you've kind of shown all the tricks, all the obvious ones you've gotten. And I feel like last birthdays, we didn't do that well. Like, I've definitely up a couple presents, and he has also. But he surprisingly looks at me and he goes, by the way, I got you really good present this year. And I was like, oh, interesting.
Hannah Berner
Yeah. And I feel like this isn't even, like, a big. Like, next year, I feel like, is a big one for you.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah. I just thought it was interesting that he, like. Because off the top of my head, I'm like, is there something obvious that I've been wanting? But then I was on the phone with My mom. And my mom, I love to throw. I normally don't know what I want at all. And I was talking to my mom, and she's like, what's something that you might want?
Hannah Berner
And.
Paige Desorbo
And I go, you know, and Des is sitting next to me, and I go, you know, I would love a painting set. Like, I, like, imagine me in the Hamptons with, like, the sun coming in, a little coffee, a little cat on my lap, and I'm painting. Free painting, free balling, whatever comes to my heart.
Hannah Berner
You're Rachel McAdams in the Notebook, 100%.
Paige Desorbo
And might I put it on Etsy? Might I not? I don't know. But I'm just painting and feeling myself. And DEZ goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's what I got you.
Hannah Berner
And he gave it away.
Paige Desorbo
Wait, what? And he goes, you know, a Giggler messaged me and told me that she thinks you'd love a painting set. So full circle moment. The Gigglers told Des what I want before I even knew I wanted it.
Hannah Berner
No, not the Gigglers. Literally.
Paige Desorbo
Better be marriage.
Hannah Berner
The Gigglers better be ready for when I get engaged so that, like, the man knows what ring. I mean.
Paige Desorbo
No, but, like, DEZ reads his DMS from the Gigglers, and, like, he stays posted on my life so the Gigglers will give him little piece of advice when he's not with his other family. They're like, by the way, when you come back to Hannah, they're so thoughtful. No, the giggles know me more than anything, and I. I feel like I didn't even think.
Hannah Berner
In the five years that you've been married, I haven't thought once to text does and be like, hey, you should probably get her. That, like, hasn't even crossed my damn mind.
Paige Desorbo
No, it's, like, so adorable. And I think it's because we did Hannah, Paige try new things. And they saw this, like, you know, deep love of painting that I'd been suppressing for so long, and they said, I'm gonna message her husband, and he was receptive.
Hannah Berner
I miss Hannah and Paige. Try new things.
Paige Desorbo
Everyone does.
Hannah Berner
No, I miss it so freaking much, actually. I was in an Uber the other day, and I was just, like, thinking of random things that would be so funny if we tried.
Paige Desorbo
This is the thing. If you say, like, hannah, Paige, can you try this? We'll be like, no. But if they're like, can you do it for content, for the Gigglers? We're like, cancel all my plans. We're going. Like, it actually is a cool way to force us to do things I want to try. Like glass. You know, when you, like, create glass art.
Hannah Berner
I think we should start, like, a shared note of, like, really intense things that we like. Bucket list item things that we legitimately should try.
Paige Desorbo
But I'm not jumping off a plane.
Hannah Berner
No. Well, we're not. Like, there's no near death.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
Unless we're having a bad week.
Paige Desorbo
Unless we need views. Like, unless it's getting really grim out. Here we go. Okay. Is Hannah gonna survive? Pop culture moment.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
I have a celebrity couple I'm obsessed with.
Hannah Berner
Can I try and guess?
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
New couple, old cup.
Paige Desorbo
Like, they're, like, fairly new. And, like, they were kind of in the press for a second. Now they're kind of back.
Hannah Berner
Fairly new in the press for a second, now they're kind of back. Are they.
Paige Desorbo
It's really adorable.
Hannah Berner
Are they Gen Z or are they millennial?
Paige Desorbo
Neither.
Hannah Berner
Neither. Okay, so they're older. Meryl Streep, Martin short, obsessed with them. But that's not who you're thinking.
Paige Desorbo
But it's. It's that vein.
Hannah Berner
She's famous. He's famous. They're both famous.
Paige Desorbo
Yep.
Hannah Berner
Older. Jennifer Aniston and whoever the new guy is.
Paige Desorbo
No. This woman also has been involved in, like, a lot of public love stuff.
Hannah Berner
A lot of public love stuff.
Paige Desorbo
And she's kind of had her redemption story recently. Like, she's on her redemption.
Hannah Berner
Lindsay Lohan.
Paige Desorbo
No.
Hannah Berner
I don't know. Give it to me. Give me the first letter. P. P. Davidson.
Paige Desorbo
Like, Wayne. She's on her redemption door.
Hannah Berner
I was like, wayne, He's a millennial. P, A, P, A, M. Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson.
Paige Desorbo
Have you seen them?
Hannah Berner
I have seen them.
Paige Desorbo
So I'm also biased because I love Irish men.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
And he is this older, funny, cool Irish man that, like, is obsessed with her. Also. Liam Neeson is hot.
Hannah Berner
He's big. Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
And he's. He's dangerous. But he's also tired, which, you know, I love. Like, he could have back in the day punch someone out, but he doesn't want to anymore. I don't want him to have the energy to get into a bar fight, but I want to look like he's won a couple bar fights back in his day.
Hannah Berner
Yes, yes.
Paige Desorbo
And they're, like, adorable on the red carpet. I don't know. And old people in general are adorable.
Hannah Berner
So you want to know what else? He's very masculine. Like, he's very manly. There's just something about him where you're like, I'd be safe with him. And that isn't that ultimately the only thing we want? Like, where you feel like you can turn your brain off and be, like, safe, Safe. And he gives that. He gives both of those so immediately.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah. And she. I feel like he's so not her traditional type. Like, I know he's an actor, but, like, musicians, men are so emotional.
Hannah Berner
Well, creatives, I feel like, are so emotional, and that's why I can't do it.
Paige Desorbo
And that you tend to be narcissistic because you're always like, my art. Like a man being like, my art. My. To express my feelings. Like, no, no, no, no.
Hannah Berner
And it's like, if they're sitting in a glam chair at any point in their lives, get the fuck away from me. Get 10ft securely away from me.
Paige Desorbo
But I love Billy Joel. I love Billy Joel. He's allowed to sing. He's allowed to sing because he has a voice. Totally.
Hannah Berner
Because he's of a different era.
Paige Desorbo
But he also, like, talks like a trucker from Long Island. He's like, I'm Billy Joel. But he. And he doesn't want the fame. That's what. If a man is an artist, I want them to be like, a tortured genius that didn't want the attention, but they just have to do it to survive. But, like, they don't want a photo shoot, promotion.
Hannah Berner
No.
Paige Desorbo
Like, if someone's like, you have to do a spread on this magazine, they were like, what's a magazine?
Hannah Berner
No, no. I don't want my man ever doing a spread. Oh, don't do a spread.
Paige Desorbo
If you do a spread, my legs will never spread for you. Never, never, never. So I'm obsessed with them. I'm tracking them. I'm checking in. Let's fuck. Love. Young love. Young love to me is depressing. Young love. I'm like, they're going to break up soon.
Hannah Berner
Well, there's so many variables.
Paige Desorbo
There's so many variables. Old love, they've seen some shit.
Hannah Berner
They're wise.
Paige Desorbo
They're wise. There's a reason they're with each other. And also, it could be the last one.
Hannah Berner
Also, there's something about a widower, you know, that it's just like, he actually. He didn't get divorced. His wife passed away, like, and that is. I could cry. It's that there's something so much more endearing. So it's not like he has this, like, you. There's never the chance of him being like, oh, my ex wife. You know, like, that seems icky to me. He would say, oh, my. Adoring, my Late wife. Oh, woulda got punched.
Paige Desorbo
You wouldn't be jealous of his late wife. You wouldn't be like, well, you thinking about her.
Hannah Berner
Let me think. If I am jealous.
Paige Desorbo
This is a hot topic.
Hannah Berner
I'm a hundred percent jealous. Because you want to know why it's even worse? Because you can't be like, oh, that crazy. Because you can't speak ill of the dad of the dead.
Paige Desorbo
Yes, that's such bad karma. And two, because she. He'll always love her more because he can't get her. And men love that. Men love a girl that is unattainable. And she. That won. She was like, you can't have that.
Hannah Berner
And let me tell you something. I'm jealous of a high school girlfriend. I want to. I'm most jealous of the girl you lost your virginity to.
Paige Desorbo
No, I told you. Oh, don't. No, don't tell me about her, because I will be livid. Yeah, I'll be livid. I don't.
Hannah Berner
The last girl. I'm not really thinking about her. I'm thinking about the first one you ever loved.
Paige Desorbo
Why is there something more powerful? Like, there's one like, oh, yeah, I got the guy. And like, the other girls didn't, but there's something more powerful about you being like one of the exes.
Hannah Berner
Wait, I didn't follow that.
Paige Desorbo
Sorry.
Hannah Berner
That's rare for me, but you lost me halfway through.
Paige Desorbo
There's something powerful. There's something. Something powerful. I love being a girl that he never got more than the girl that he got.
Hannah Berner
Yes. I feel like I have a lot of different men in my life where, like, all I'll see them on my Instagram and I'll be like, oh, that's my ex boyfriend. But we never dated. But there's something that it feels like we dated and like, you know, and I feel like an example, but I'm not.
Paige Desorbo
Well, if you had like a crush phase, that sometimes way deeper and more traumatizing than going on three dates with a guy than crushing on a guy for six months. Crushing a guy for six months. That's dog years. That's 42 years.
Hannah Berner
I had sex with a guy like twice, and he ruined my life for like two years. And he did nothing. You know, it was really just me internally. I was like, he's ruining my life. And everyone, all my friends are like, you guys haven't spoken in a year, like, but continuously ruining my life.
Paige Desorbo
But then like, when you think of him, you're like, is that because he is thinking of me? And sometimes he is don't get me started on that.
Hannah Berner
You know how many times I've woken up from a dream and I've dreamt of someone and I'm like, clearly they're thinking of me. I should text them.
Paige Desorbo
Don't. Don't. Also, speaking of Zaddies, the show untamed on Netflix is with Heaven. Eric Bana. Who? Zaddy.
Hannah Berner
I keep seeing it, but I haven't clicked the why.
Paige Desorbo
I think you might like it. It is about murder, which is why I love it. But aesthetically, it's so beautiful because it's in Yosemite Park. Not to be confused with Yosemite, which is not how you pronounce it. So Yosemite. It's just like beautiful outdoorsy stuff. But you don't have to physically be there hiking. You could, like, appreciate it from your couch. So I liked looking at the water and the beautiful mountains and the greenery.
Hannah Berner
Oh, okay, so you loved the. The cinematic style, the stylistic choices that.
Paige Desorbo
The director chose, and a hot, grouchy older man, which just like turns me on. Look, I want to be a better person and I want to be healthier, but I don't always know how. And that's when I discovered Symbiotica. Their daily supplements are. Are incredible. I don't always like taking pills, so I love slurping down with my smoothies or just right straight into my mouth. They fit easily with my daily routine, mostly because it tastes so good. I'm obsessed with their liquid colostrum. It's vanilla sea salt and it supports hair, skin, nails, healthy immune system, gut lining. They also have Irish sea moss, which fuels cellular energy to support healthy aging. And they have lemon vanilla. I really love vanilla. I always love lean towards it. And you guys know I love vitamin C, which really have a citrus vanilla that helps with antioxidants immunity. It really helps me not get sick, especially when I'm traveling a lot. So go to symbiotica.com giggly squad for 20 off plus free shipping. That's C Y M B I o t I k a dot com gigglysquad for 20% off plus free shipping.
Hannah Berner
If you're looking for outfits this summer, then look no further than Nordstrom. Nordstrom is having a sale on all new arrivals, all their new clothes, shoes, accessories, beauty, home and more. The anniversary sale runs from July 12 through August 3. Prices go up August 4. You can stock up and save on great deals under 100. They have so many brands like Veronica Beard, Vince All Saints, Steve Madden, Charlotte Tilbury, and Nordstrom makes it so easy to shop the anniversary sale with free styling help and free shipping and returns. You can order online, pickup or head into the store. So make sure you check out all the fun anniversary events happening at Nordstrom in store promotions, jewelry, trunk shows, and daily beauty events throughout the sale. Shop now at Nordstrom.
Paige Desorbo
Olipop is a new kind of soda that combines the classic soda taste with the benefits of a functional ingredient blend to support digestive health. It's reimagining soda with high fiber and only 2 to 5 grams of sugar per can. And it's sold online and available in almost 50,000 retailers nationwide. Now. Growing up, I always loved soda, but it was like, naughty. It was bad and my mom was like, do not drink it. You will get addicted and there's too much sugar. But Olipop uses a functional ingredient blend to support my digestive health and make it taste like normal soda. I hate when something's healthy, but it tastes so bad that I can't enjoy it. And I'm like, I'd rather eat mud. 90% of Americans consume more than the daily recommended sugar intake, which is 30 grams. And sweetened beverages are the leading source of added sugars in the American diet. So that's why I love Olipop because it's much lower in sugar. They also have an orange squeeze flavor that really tastes like orange Fanta. Get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in store and we'll pay you back for one. Works on any flavor. Any retailer go to drinkolipop.com gigli that's drink o l I p o p.com giggly it's sold online drinkolipop.com and Amazon and available in almost 50,000 retailers nationwide, including Costco, Walmart, Target, Publix, Whole Foods, Kroger, and H E B.
Hannah Berner
Did you know? Adults 60 plus lose more than $60 billion each year to financial exploitation. Greenlight's new Family Shield plan empowers you to monitor your accounts for suspicious activity, protect yourself with up to $1 million identity theft coverage, and reassure loved ones that you're safe with location sharing and place alerts. Get peace of mind today@greenlight.com protect that's greenlight.com protect. I just like I have no this. This summer was just so interesting. We had no theme, we had no show.
Paige Desorbo
I love talking about it like it's over.
Hannah Berner
It's basically over. We had. Here's the one thing people like talking about. Pumpkin spice in the fall. I'm not that out of touch with reality. Like, I'm grateful for the season and in the moment we're in.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
But we're too deep into summer to now a theme or have a song or have a show. We've missed it.
Paige Desorbo
Wait, you're right. There's no song. And I actually have to say something because I know Hilly Haley Bieber listens to the pod. And I want to make a quick update. I want to apologize to the Academy.
Hannah Berner
That you didn't give the album the proper listen.
Paige Desorbo
I didn't.
Hannah Berner
And have you since I'm obsessed with.
Paige Desorbo
The new Justin Bieber album.
Hannah Berner
No, Hannah. Because it's the. Probably one of my favorite album. It's definitely in my top three of, like, favorite albums of all time.
Paige Desorbo
Wow.
Hannah Berner
And.
Paige Desorbo
And you.
Hannah Berner
And, you know, that means something coming from me, who's not really musically inclined. I have that album on all day in my apartment. And again, not me to my core.
Paige Desorbo
And you know what's cool about the album? I feel like sometimes musicians. Again, Justin Bieber's a genius. And when you're first coming up, everyone's like, they're a genius. They're genius. Then you blow up, and then you get so big, everyone starts hating on you. Like, he's not as good. He's not that good.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
And I. I feel like he probably missed, like, being respected as, like, this, like, underground cool artist, because you can't be underground once you're so big. But this album felt, like, underground, just, like, from his heart. And I said. I said it didn't have choruses. That was false. That was false. It has tons of choruses. I'm obsessed with the song Yukon. It I like because it's just so good. He has so much swag.
Hannah Berner
And you want to know what I'm so thankful for? Especially because Gen Z, you know, like, look, they've got all their new words and all their new slang and, like, I'm trying to keep up and I'm trying to stay, like, sound cool, and I'm trying to, like, clock things and I'm trying to, like, purr and all the stuff. I still. I use the word swag all the time. And I felt as though I shouldn't have been using it anymore because I'm like, oh, my God, that's, like, not a cool word anymore. But when I describe guys to my friends or even my mom, like, you know how, like, you can describe a guy? Like, there's just something about them. Like, they have such a swag to them. And that's the Only word that does like a good description. And I felt like it was dying. And now that he's made his album title swag, I was like, thank you. Because this is jargon that I use in my everyday life.
Paige Desorbo
It's, it's almost like a vintage moment for it.
Hannah Berner
It just describes things so perfectly. Like I'm not sitting here being like, yeah, but like his Riz, I wouldn't. I'd sooner rather die.
Paige Desorbo
No. And I'm hanging out with a Gen Z teenager all summer. Which by the way, I lowkey got some hate because you know, I was joking where he's like, what's for. What's for lunch? And I'm like, go hunt something. And people were like, his mom's not gonna like how you're treating him. First of all, kids need to learn how to deal with adversity. Second of all, I got a breakfast burrito this morning, gave him half my burrito. I said, now anyone says shit about me not taking care of you, You, I gave you half my burrito. He's like, can I have the whole thing? And I'm like, no.
Hannah Berner
Also there seems like something illegal about like taking care of a 16 year old. Like that's me are like the same age.
Paige Desorbo
We're literally. No, I'm a child. He's a child. I'm not taking care of a child.
Hannah Berner
He should be getting us food.
Paige Desorbo
I'm a girl. I'm a literal girl. Respect your elders. But we. I literally sat down with him and he was telling me all these soundcloud rappers. But then I realized, then I was asking him like, do you fuck with Drake? Do you fuck with Lil Wayne? Do you like Akon? I Do you like Justin Bieber? And I realized like my generation, the older generation, like our parents generation, the music was so different. But our music is actually so similar to Gen Z. So we started listening to Drake together and like rapping together. And DEZ is like, what are you guys doing? And then he really liked the Crocs I was wearing. And then I was like, am I a 16 year old boy?
Hannah Berner
No.
Paige Desorbo
He asked for my shorts. You know, I have these like long shorts I wear around the house. He was like, can I have these? And I was like, yes. And if anyone says I don't take care of you, say I gave you the clothes off my back.
Hannah Berner
Off your back?
Paige Desorbo
Wait. And then I got these like really ugly colored New Balance shoes. And he was like, wait, they're really cool. And I was like, you can have them. Because I felt cool.
Hannah Berner
Do you get called Aunt Hannah or just Hannah?
Paige Desorbo
He calls me Hannah.
Hannah Berner
Well, he's like, oh, it's. It's almost like he's too old to now call you Aunt Hannah.
Paige Desorbo
I love him, though. Like, he's my child. And the Other one, who's 13, I love him too. But I'm like, new to the family. I'm like the new aunt.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
So I'm like, I have. I sometimes am, like, trying to be too much, like, the fun aunt. Like, I'm like, you guys could tell me anything and does.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
Leave them alone. I asked him about tampons and Des was like, please stop. I'm like, he's 16. Like, this is hell. This is woman's health.
Hannah Berner
You're, like, handing out condoms.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
You're not a regular mommy.
Paige Desorbo
If you want to drink, just tell me. No, I, like, literally don't drink. So I can't even help him get a beer. But there is. He was telling me some new words. I'm trying to find it in my notes, but I. Oh, okay. No, I actually don't know it. There's a word for when you take a picture with someone and they make you look ugly because they're so good looking, but I don't know what it is. Also, he says, what's good? Mud.
Hannah Berner
Mud. No, I can't with the kids. Wait, one thing I did want to bring up, since we're talking about, like, nostalgia.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah.
Hannah Berner
Have you tried the. Have you had the snack wrap?
Paige Desorbo
The McDonald's snack wrap?
Hannah Berner
Yeah. Is there any other snack wrap?
Paige Desorbo
No, I haven't. But, like, I need to.
Hannah Berner
Oh, I've had it twice already. It came out on July 10, and so obviously I got it on July 10, and then I got it again, like a week ago. They're so good. They're amazing. And I just want to put some respect on the millennials who single handedly fought to bring that back. And it's like, if.
Paige Desorbo
Well, let's be honest, like, raps are not a trend. They're here to stay. And I'm sick of people being like, being like they're just having their moment. No, they're part of the food group and you could get a whole grain.
Hannah Berner
You know, and people forget about them and they. And they dismiss wraps as if they're not.
Paige Desorbo
As if they're less than a sandwich, when, honestly, people respect burritos. People don't question a burrito. But then a rap comes and they go, what is this? Half ass sandwich?
Hannah Berner
No one's ever questioning a burrito. If anything, they're like, that is a fat burrito. Where, when it comes to. When it comes to a wrap, they're. Yeah, they're. They're, they're side eyeing it. They're snarling at it.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah. Like it's some weird health thing. But you know what? Yeah, I need a carbohydrate with my shit.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
Like, I need something. I don't even know what a carb is, but I need it.
Hannah Berner
I really think that I need to, like, wean off of carbs and dairy. I mean, after this weekend, because I feel like this weekend is just going to be like a dairy fast.
Paige Desorbo
I have lactate.
Hannah Berner
It's going to be just like a cheese weekend, a cheesy weekend, but it's really fucking up my stomach. But like, a wrap is a great solution to like a baguette.
Paige Desorbo
Do you think your anxiety gives you stomach aches?
Hannah Berner
Um, totally. But I'm gonna be honest. I can't tell you the last time I had like.
Paige Desorbo
She goes on, be honest. Never felt anxiety before.
Hannah Berner
What is anxiety? Sorry.
Paige Desorbo
Which is so funny because someone tagged me in something that said, my friend had a panic attack, but she called it a Page Desorbo. And she goes, I just had a Paige to Sorbo.
Hannah Berner
No, I love it so much. I just had a pd. Last time I felt like I was having anxiety was Love island, but I was about to pass out, so it's like I actually can't be held liable for that.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah, that was your body, like, telling you you're gonna die, so I feel like that was valid.
Hannah Berner
I haven't taken a beta blocker all summer, have I? Oh, no, I took one when I had to speak at Create and Cultivate in la, but.
Paige Desorbo
And the Time party.
Hannah Berner
No, Any of my stomach aches this summer have literally just been induced by dairy. And honestly, I love that. For me, I'm so proud of myself.
Paige Desorbo
Because you know what? Let me just say something. We're women, we deal with, like, real pain. A stomach ache followed by diarrhea takes 20 minutes out of my day.
Hannah Berner
Light work.
Paige Desorbo
If light work.
Hannah Berner
I welcome it. I welcome it.
Paige Desorbo
And my husband be like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I have diarrhea. And he gets all worried and I go, this is just part of this long, beautiful day I have. And this is one of the moments of this day that I'm so grateful to be alive for.
Hannah Berner
I actually had a dream the other night that I was about to have diarrhea and I woke up, had diarrhea okay.
Paige Desorbo
Put it in the Louvre. Not only are women intuitive, but we're.
Hannah Berner
Working on our schedules as we're sleeping.
Paige Desorbo
I've never been more connected to myself.
Hannah Berner
Thank you for waking me up.
Paige Desorbo
When you're about to have your period, do you dream about your period? That happens to me. No, I always have a dream that I have my period and I wake up with it.
Hannah Berner
Well, I never get my period, but.
Paige Desorbo
Oh, sorry.
Hannah Berner
Wait. You know what's so fun about also having a cat is like, she doesn't even know the existence. Exciting things that are about to happen. Like, I literally just looked at Daphne on the couch and I wanted to be like, you don't even know that we're going to Hannah's this weekend.
Paige Desorbo
Wait, you guys, I'm okay. I'm a little sad because we have hate. Remember my first three fosters, Hazelnut, Cashew, and Peanut?
Hannah Berner
All. All accounted for.
Paige Desorbo
No. Hazelnut got adopted by Andrew, Colin, and Brenna, who are my very close friends. I'm very happy I kept her in the family so I can check on her. And honestly, you'll be able to see her every now and then. I'm like, should I have kept Hazelnut like, I love?
Hannah Berner
And they're cat people. They have.
Paige Desorbo
Oh, yeah, they're gonna. She's gonna be happy. It's. It's literally like when you meet a guy who's great, but you're like, it's just not right timing. And then he meets someone else and you're like, kind of jealous, but you know, you can't be. You're like, it wasn't for me. I can't.
Hannah Berner
It wasn't for us. And if it was written in the stars, it'll come back to me. I'll steal her.
Paige Desorbo
If I need her, I'll steal her.
Hannah Berner
It's just. Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
So. And I'll just be like, can I come over? And then I'll take her and Peanut and Cashew. Cashew's like a little bit shy and they're kind of bonded. So the shelter is basically saying, take them together.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
Cuz they're so good together. But it's harder to get two cats adopted together because people are like, yeah, I want one, I don't want two. But I'll be honest. One and two, same thing. And they have each other to cuddle with. So please, you guys. Peanut and Cashew are so fucking amazing and so cute if you like orange cats that are incredible. But now I have a problem on my hand because I have this incredible, incredible outgoing girl. And her name does. Named her yesterday. Her name's Cupid.
Hannah Berner
Cupid.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah. We call her qq. We call her Cupidy Hannah.
Hannah Berner
I don't want to pressure you, but, like, why can't. Why can't this be your cat, though?
Paige Desorbo
First of all, Butter would slit her wrist. Second of all, she wants affection all day. Like, she's one of those cats you see on Instagram where the cat's, like, on your chest. And I love this baby so much. She's right now just, like, lying on my shoe right next to me.
Hannah Berner
I literally can't wait to get there.
Paige Desorbo
Because I travel too much. Like, I don't. I want her to be with someone that can, like, cuddle her all day. Like, you work from home. You want a best friend. She, like, she's. Oh, she's just like. But also, she's just the best cat ever.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
And then we have Rose and Jack, also known as Jack Black, but also Titanic reference. And they're so beautiful and so cute as well. But they're more like. They're. They're, like, very beautiful looking where Cupid is like a silly runt of the litter.
Hannah Berner
Okay.
Paige Desorbo
So anyway, they're going to be available for adoption, but, like, that's. That's update my life. But naming cats is my new hobby. Like, you know how you like to name nail polish? I name cats.
Hannah Berner
Yeah, I like that for you. And has Butter come out of her room at all?
Paige Desorbo
It was actually kind of sad last night. I have two cats on my stomach as I do, and I look through the glass door, and Butter's sitting there just staring at me like, are you. You fucking bloody cunt bitch. And she. But she's also just like, how could you do this to me? How could you do this to me?
Hannah Berner
She runs back to the bedroom. She says, do not trust there's ugly slut.
Paige Desorbo
But her face, it was so funny. Funny. But then Des was like, oh, my God. And she's looking at me like, how dare you? How. How could I trust you? I trusted you. Yeah. And she was also like, ew. Like, they're not even that cute. They're not even that cute.
Hannah Berner
Okay. But then when you go to bed at night, it butter like butter.
Paige Desorbo
So this is like. She's so sad. I cuddle. I'm watching my murder dogs. I'm cuddling with the kittens. And then I shut the door. I leave them in the kitty room. I get to bed. DEZ is asleep. She's on my pillow waiting for me, rolled up.
Hannah Berner
Stop.
Paige Desorbo
Rolled up. So this is, this is my summer. But it is kind of crazy because I'm literally on the road September to March.
Hannah Berner
Oh.
Paige Desorbo
And I hate to say it.
Hannah Berner
You're excited.
Paige Desorbo
I am. But I also like got spoiled traveling with you where I'm like wow, like it's so much more fun to travel and do this stuff with your best friend.
Hannah Berner
Yeah.
Paige Desorbo
Cuz I'm like maybe I'll come for.
Hannah Berner
Some of the weekends.
Paige Desorbo
You won't.
Hannah Berner
No, I won't.
Paige Desorbo
You should see. I'll be like in a random place. I'll be like in Wichita, Kansas and though someone like 30 minutes and I'll be like where's Paige? And I'm like not. She did not want to come here.
Hannah Berner
Somewhere with air conditioning I'd assume.
Paige Desorbo
Okay, great. We have Oklahoma mad at us. No, we love all you states. We love them all equally. You guys, thank you so much for giggling with us. We love you. See us on Fallon. Look out for Daphne Drop get tickets to my tour coming up. I just announced Carnegie hall, which is cool.
Hannah Berner
Oh my God, that's so cool.
Paige Desorbo
Yeah, it'll be fun and other dates. So we love you and we'll talk to you later.
Hannah Berner
Bye.
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Podcast Summary: Giggly Squad – Episode: "Giggling about Widows, Cruises, and Cheating"
Release Date: July 29, 2025
Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Podcast Description: Welcome to Giggly Squad. Each week, Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo make fun of everything, but most importantly themselves. They discuss pop culture, fashion trends, television, horoscopes, mental health, dating, and expose their personal lives. Also, they can't be managed.
The episode kicks off with Hannah sharing her humorous struggle with staying hydrated during vacation while managing her dairy allergy. She humorously recounts feeling bloated and insecure during a walk back from acupuncture, leading her to pretend to have a pregnant belly to garner sympathy and avoid judgment.
Paige echoes her own experiences, emphasizing the challenges of navigating daily life while managing personal quirks and insecurities.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the hosts' disdain for cruises. They humorously dissect the confinements of cruise ships, sharing personal stories of unwanted attention and the absurdity of being trapped with the same group of people indefinitely.
Hannah adds to the conversation by highlighting the lack of variety and the potential for malicious plotting among passengers.
They also discuss disturbing cruise documentaries, emphasizing their preference for larger yachts over traditional cruises due to the former's flexibility and smaller scale.
The hosts delve into a detailed discussion about a Billy Joel documentary, exploring his tumultuous personal life and career trajectory. They highlight how Joel's failures paved the way for his successes, painting a picture of resilience and artistic integrity.
They also touch upon the complexities of fame, using Joel's experiences as a springboard to discuss broader themes in the entertainment industry.
Hannah and Paige candidly discuss their journeys with mental health, sharing anecdotes about their therapists and the therapeutic techniques they've employed. They highlight the importance of self-care and the challenges of maintaining mental well-being amidst personal and professional pressures.
Hannah adds her perspective on balancing self-improvement with the pressures of daily life.
The duo shares exciting news about their upcoming appearances and projects. Notably, they announce their guest spots on The Jimmy Fallon Show, where they will temporarily take over announcing duties. They express enthusiasm about this opportunity and tease potential content they might create during the stint.
Additionally, they discuss their plans for a leisure weekend at Hannah's house, detailing activities like Pilates, poolside lounging, and playful interactions.
Hannah and Paige engage in a spirited conversation about the complexities of Justin Bieber's latest album, praising its depth and authenticity despite his fame. They also recommend binge-worthy shows like Netflix’s Untamed starring Eric Bana, praising its aesthetic appeal and gripping storyline set in Yosemite Park.
Throughout the episode, the hosts interweave discussions about personal style and favorite products. They highlight brands like Symbiotica for daily supplements, Nordstrom's anniversary sale, and Olipop's functional sodas, sharing personal endorsements and discount codes with their listeners.
Paige DeSorbo (45:10): “Symbiotica's daily supplements are incredible. You can slurp them with your smoothies.”
Hannah Berner (46:43): “If you're looking for outfits this summer, then look no further than Nordstrom.”
The hosts share heartfelt stories about their cats, discussing adoptions, naming new kittens, and the humorous antics of their pets. They emphasize the joy and challenges of pet ownership, providing a glimpse into their personal lives beyond the podcast.
Paige DeSorbo (60:12): “Peanut and Cashew are so fucking amazing and so cute if you like orange cats.”
Hannah Berner (62:35): “Have you tried the McDonald's snack wrap?”
In their candid and humorous style, Hannah and Paige reflect on the impact of viral fame, the pressures of modern relationships, and the complexities of maintaining personal integrity in the public eye. They discuss the emotional toll of societal expectations and the importance of authentic connections.
Paige DeSorbo (25:21): “Rich people are so used to getting everything they want. And he got cocky.”
Hannah Berner (41:45): “There's something about a widower, you know, that it's just like, he actually didn't get divorced. His wife passed away, and that is...”
As the episode wraps up, Hannah and Paige express gratitude to their listeners, invite them to join their upcoming events like the Carnegie Hall tour, and encourage continued engagement through their social media channels. They emphasize the importance of community and shared experiences among the "Gigglers."
Paige DeSorbo (64:50): “Thank you so much for giggling with us. We love you. See us on Fallon.”
Hannah Berner (64:57): “We'll talk to you later.”
Notable Quotes:
Hannah Berner (03:20): “I did something so diabolical by myself that I literally giggled the whole way home.”
Paige DeSorbo (14:33): “I went on a cruise with a boyfriend once. He starts to stalk me for the rest of the trip. And I'm running from him.”
Hannah Berner (25:21): “There's something about a widower, you know, that it's just like, he actually didn't get divorced. His wife passed away, and that is...”
Paige DeSorbo (45:07): “Untamed is about murder, which is why I love it. But aesthetically, it's so beautiful because it's in Yosemite Park.”
Conclusion:
In this episode of Giggly Squad, Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo blend humor with heartfelt discussions, offering listeners a window into their personal lives while tackling broader societal topics. From navigating personal insecurities and challenging travel experiences to delving into pop culture and mental health, the hosts maintain their signature blend of wit and sincerity. Their announcements about upcoming appearances and events further strengthen their connection with the audience, promising more engaging content in future episodes.