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Paige
I tell myself it's not about comparing. But then I start wondering, what can they lift? Are they adding more weight to their barbell than I am? And suddenly I'm not training. Then I realize my journey is not theirs. I've earned every step. So I smile. My smile is the shape resilience takes to keep me moving. To put more smiles out into the world. Colgate has supported female athletes for over 50 years with the Colgate Women's Games, the nation's longest running indoor track and field series for girls and women. Colgate, your smile is your strength.
Hannah
Before getting back into the episode, a quick moment to talk about something that just makes everyday routines feel a little bit more elevated. A great fragrance. And that's exactly the vibe behind Burberry Her Burberry her is the essence of freedom. The thrill of open skies, the joy of self expression, and the empowerment of following your own path. The original Burberry Her Eau de Parfum is such a beautiful everyday fragrance. It opens with strawberry, BlackBerry and raspberry, layered with jasmine and violet and finishes with a warm amber base. It's fruity and floral, but still sophisticated and long lasting. One of those scents that feels fresh and feminine while still elevated enough to wear all day. The newest addition to the collection is Burberry Her Parfum. With Olivia Dean as the new face of the fragrance. Her style really reflects the same feeling of freedom and individuality that runs through the Burberry her line. The scent itself is deeper and more intense, opening with cherry and settling into warm amber and vanilla for a bold, confident finish. Burberry Her Parfume free your spirit. Explore the Burberry her collection, including the new Her Parfum and the original Her Eau de Parfum, now available at Ulta Beauty.
Paige
You know, we're making art here.
Hannah
Fix your WI fi.
Paige
Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.
Hannah
I mean, the day just got away from me.
Paige
My gaggle of gigglers.
Hannah
Yes. Phenomenal. One.
Paige
Oh, my God, now my head's all big. Also, you complimented my T shirt at the airport and I was like, no,
Hannah
you were being low key chic at the airport.
Paige
You've never said those words to describe me before. Well, let's apologize to the academy.
Hannah
Yeah. 4.
Paige
This is our first, like, late episode in, like, forever.
Hannah
Well, we were bamboozled. We were hoodwinked.
Paige
So Grace is on vacation. She left us for dead.
Hannah
We're literally lost chickens without her. Honestly, Josephine texted me over the weekend. She was like, did you take any pictures? And I go I knew I was forgetting.
Paige
No. Grace is on vacations, texting me. Be like, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah, go have fun. Go have fun. Meanwhile, we're drowning. We're drowning. We're drowning. We had a crazy weekend in the.
Hannah
In the festival. I feel like we should start from the top.
Paige
Should we just address windbreaker gate?
Hannah
I feel like it's. It's such a scene that needs to be set.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
Because it's such a full story. Let's start on Monday. Let's take it.
Paige
Take it all the way back.
Hannah
Monday morning, we record the pod. We do some more housekeeping things. We're having just such a good best friend day. Hannah comes back to my apartment. We're getting our nails and toes done. We're yapping.
Paige
You showed me your closet, Hannah.
Hannah
I showed Hannah, like, new things I bought. I tried on jackets.
Paige
I was, like, walking her closet. I'd see something like, that's cute. And then she'd tell me, like, a whole story about how she source from some fucking D Germany.
Hannah
I was like, this is my dream. Come in my closet and look at my stuff.
Paige
I actually had so much. I felt like I was with my. In my grandma's closet with, like, all her perfumes. And I was like, this is what princesses do.
Hannah
Yeah. I was like, I have stuff over here. And I have stuff over here. So anyway, so we're sitting there, and I was like, oh, what are you wearing Saturday night for Netflix as a joke for our performance. And Hannah goes, I really want to wear something cool. I just want to do Capri and a windbreaker. And I was like, I love it. Very, very in. Very chic. Very.
Paige
Because it's like a. It's a sports show running point.
Hannah
So I was like, let's lean in. Lead to a theme. And so she goes, I ordered a windbreaker on Fashion Nova. No hate, no shade.
Paige
No hate, no shade, no tea.
Hannah
I say, love it, but we are going to be on stage. Well, this is my Hudson.
Paige
I think this windbreaker trend is crazy because I did buy Fashion Nova windbreakers, and they're fucking cunt. And they're cool. And, yeah, they don't have, like, a designer label on it. But I was like, I was feeling myself. But you looked at me and you
Hannah
say, get the job done.
Paige
They get the job done. But you were like, hannah, Kate Hudson, Minty Kaling and Brenda Song are taking time out of their very important, busy days.
Hannah
They've looked in their closets.
Paige
Be an.
Hannah
It's called stylist They've picked out an outfit. Minty Kaling showed up in a Gucci matching set. So I say, hannah, I love you so much. I love where your head's at. I have a YSL windbreaker that I think will be perfect for the aesthetic you're trying to execute. I run upstairs, I get my YSL windbreaker. She tries it on. Perfect. We love it.
Paige
One thing that'll make you panic and is knowing I'm unprepared and I'm going to embarrass you. So thinking back, it does look strategic for me to be like, I don't
Hannah
know what I'm going to wear.
Paige
I guess I have to wear your ysl.
Hannah
I went into a full body sweat. I was immediately panicked.
Paige
You were like, I don't want to do this, but I have to do this.
Hannah
It was for the greater good of America that I had to put my YSL windbreaker out there.
Paige
Now, this is so page coded, but this YSL windbreaker sold out everywhere. Like, I was thinking about, like, if I were to get, like, Bolognese on it. I can't just buy her another one. It's done.
Hannah
No one has this color combo. Like, I can't find. You can't find this color combo in the streets. I had to have it sourced.
Paige
Yes. It's an endangered species. Like, she had to give away, like, rights to, like, her firstborn.
Hannah
Oh, truly.
Paige
To get this windbreaker.
Hannah
The coveted is how I sourced it. They got it.
Paige
But I also think the windbreaker is one thing right now. That's you coded and me coded. And also, it fit me. You were so excited. You're like. You're perfect. I'm to worry about you. Thank God.
Hannah
It was perfect. And so I literally mentally checked that box, like, okay, Hannah has an outfit. Great. We're good. We can go to the event.
Paige
But immediately, I was scared. I was like, do you want me to take it with me? And you were like, yeah. And I'm like, you don't want to pack it. You want me. You trust me to pack it? Like, you were like, you're grown up. Just figure it out.
Hannah
I was, like, taken. So, okay, I mentally checked that off my list. We get to the airport Wednesday. We're flying to la. We're sitting. We're waiting for our plane. I'm making casual conversation.
Paige
I'm sorry.
Hannah
Wait, were you not recording? That's okay.
Paige
It's okay.
Hannah
That's okay. We. It's fine. You can't beat yourself up over smallest things.
Paige
Okay, Grace, Larry we're drowning.
Hannah
Okay, so anyway, so back to our story. So we're sitting in the airport where I'm making casual conversation. We're. When we land in la, Hannah is going to the Chelsea Handler live show.
Paige
But you didn't know. What were you in for? I found out my Hulu Special is dropping June 5th. So I was like, I have to do press when I'm in la, and. And I find out that they were there. We book a podcast in the morning, a Netflix brunch, and the show at night. Now, look, I'm. I'm a resourceful person, and if I find an outfit that works, why risk an outfit that isn't gonna work?
Hannah
We all remember the green corset of 2022.
Paige
I'll do this all the time. Like, I'll put. I put together an outfit to get drinks the other night, and it looked good. I'm like, I'm wearing this every day this week. But then I realized, my clothes. This is pages.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
$35,000 windbreak. So then I. I was gonna do it and not tell you, but I was, like, looking at you, and you were looking so sweet and nice, and I said, you know what?
Hannah
Let's get ahead of it.
Paige
And I said, just so you know, I'm gonna be. I think I'm gonna wear the windbreaker for some other stuff.
Hannah
And I go, oh, what are you wearing tonight to the Chelsea Handler show? And she goes, the YSL windbreaker? And I go, oh, okay. And then I go, well, in the morning, what are you wearing to the brunch?
Paige
And she goes, no, for Chelsea, I wore Fashion Nova.
Hannah
She.
Paige
Because I. I felt like two days. Was that selfish. Like, that's greedy. But I was like, is it really wearing it? It's just. I just wore it one day.
Hannah
And mind you, this is my sweaty friend.
Paige
I've been using my dog. I've been. I've been trying not to sweat, so
Hannah
I'm, like, dying in the airport. I'm like, hannah, you can't wear the YSL windbreaker for every single event. She's like, it's literally fine. So we go through the whole weekend, and she honestly crashes it in the YSL windbreaker.
Paige
If it works, it works. Why change the recipe?
Hannah
When she did show up to the brunch in her Steve Madden tabby, like, heel, I did look her in the eye and say, you. You cannot wear these heels on stage. I literally won't go. So she changes her heel.
Paige
I think I'm a different person when I'm Packing. So I brought Fame. Sick. And I brought. I'm glad my mother died on the
Hannah
trip, but not a second outfit. God forbid. God forbid. The trip we were taking for work for three different events. God forbid you brought a second outfit.
Paige
Two books, Hannah. You got the people who were cleaning the room, like, organize them somewhere. Left him in the hotel because I. I didn't remember that old Hannah packed books. So when I was.
Hannah
Wait, that's so funny. I left my pimple cream in the hotel. And that's so me.
Paige
I get there, and I'm. I. I take out the YSL windbreaker. I hang it up because I have respect for you. Yeah. And I was nervous about it. Like, I was actually freaking out. I kept checking it, like, every 10 minutes to make sure it was still there.
Hannah
It's like your passport when you go on a trip, you're like. You keep, like, unzipping your suitcase. You're like, okay, cool.
Paige
Literally. And then I realize I'm wearing my cute capris. And I go, one huge, massive thing. We forgot a thong. So I go on Instacart. Yeah, Target. And I pressed thong. And I'm like, I hope whatever. Male Instacart guy.
Hannah
And then you, like, said the Hail Mary 10 times.
Paige
Did the rosary, and I was like, I'm a little. And I sent for also what. I was like, what girl needs Target thongs right now? So then I go to the Chelsea Handler.
Hannah
A lot of reasons.
Paige
Yeah. I had to go to the Chelsea Handler show. So I like. I was like, let go and let. God, I hope the Instacart finds its way back to me.
Hannah
Oh, Commando to Chelsea Handler show or under.
Paige
I was wearing jeans. I was wearing jeans. I was wearing my full beat. My full beat hands. Comfortable. Enjoying the last couple days of comfort and not the invasiveness of a thong.
Hannah
Dental floss.
Paige
Yes. So I get back, and it's like, 11pm I'm getting my spray tan. And I'm like, oh, that's weird. Where's the Instacart? And I look, and it says it was delivered. So I'm like, I'll just call downstairs. I'm like, hey, is there an instacart for Hannah Burner? And they're like, what's it for? What's it from? And I was like, I think it's Target. And they were like, let me check. And he comes back and he goes, is it underpants? I'm like, why the fuck did you look in the. How many Target bags did you have in the hotel? And also, Never say underpants again. Underpants. I go, I'm a grownup wearing a thong. I'm a fucking little slut wearing a thong. So the guy literally comes up. The same guy who knows I ordered underpants comes up, looks me in the eye. I said, thank you, sir. Good night. So next time you make fun of me for having to wear the same outfit all day, know that there's a lot of stuff going on underneath.
Hannah
I'm literally crying.
Paige
And, like, I'm just trying to live. Like, I'm just trying to be the best I could be. And people don't let me because the fact that you had to order thongs. If I showed up at the Netflix brunch with panty lines, I would have
Hannah
been more to find.
Paige
Cuz it, like, it's with your windbreaker. So it's like disrespecting the windbreaker.
Hannah
The.
Paige
The YSL outfit was perfect, and I did put on really nice heels for the show, but I ended up, like, having this big podcast in the morning, and I was like, paige would love me to wear the YSL for that. And all these things are photographed. Then we go to the craziest Netflix brunch, and they're taking photos everywhere. And the thing is, with the blazer. The blazer, the windbreaker, it's not subtle. Like, it's. It's the moment. So people aren't gonna forget that I was wearing an orange windbreaker everywhere. So at this brunch, I run into Kate Hudson. I say, oh, no. Oh, no, this is my nightmare. And she's like, are you. You're doing the panel with me later, right? And I said. And I'm like, trying to cover the windbreaker. I'm like, yep. And I'm like, can't wait to see you there. Kate Hudson shows up in a gorgeous gown. I'm staying there in my windbreaker.
Hannah
It's literally art. She's standing in, like, an art piece that she's like, oh, it's a skirt I had. I'm like, that should be in the Louvre. And Hannah's here in the same windbreaker
Paige
she saw me in six hours ago. Tell them what? My mom messaged you.
Hannah
So then I'm on the plane Friday morning, coming back to the East Coast. I get a DM from none other
Paige
than Lenore Burner, who hasn't spoken to me unbeknownst.
Hannah
Did Hannah's luggage get lost? Question mark? Why is she wearing that outfit? Question mark? I go, lol. She said she wanted to wear it. She doesn't look bad, but did she wear that two days in a row? Period? I'm confused. Period. Sorry, Hannah. I nearly fell off my chair.
Paige
And this is why no one will ever hurt my feelings, because my mom is my biggest op. My mom goes, I'm confused. Sorry. I love how she's like, I need a first find out from Paige why this has happened. I love how she's like, she doesn't look bad. It's just like, why did you wear the same outfit from 10am to 10pm today?
Hannah
No, she literally was that tick tock being like, I love her, but like, what's going on? And.
Paige
But she's amazing. But like, sorry, I just.
Hannah
I love her, but she, like, is the problem. Like. And I'm like, no, I'm obsessed with her.
Paige
But it was cunt.
Hannah
No, it totally was. Also, I spent a pretty penny on that windbreaker. Let her get out there. Let her see the town. Let her be photographed on other bodies.
Paige
Okay, that was good. Don't body positivity me. She's like, I wanted to see different experiences. Hug in different places. But no, I wanted to milk it for what it was worth. Even though you paid for it. Also.
Hannah
Yeah, we don't. I'll write it off.
Paige
We don't fit in the same clothes. Like, it's not normal that Paige is like, I don't want to wear this. Do you want to wear it? I'd be like, no, my ass will hang out. Cuz you love a little mini mini thing, right? This was just two girls sharing clothes. Just sisters. And it's so sisterly for you to be like, hey, are you going to give me back that one breaker.
Hannah
You know what's funny is because the pictures from the brunch I. The same DM that I kept getting was like, why do you and Hannah look alike? I at the brunch. And I truly feel like we're morphing into the same person a little bit. It's almost like when you look like your dog.
Paige
Wait, okay, so Netflix is a joke Festival has this brunch. You got there early, unbeknownst to me. I thought you were gonna wait, but I was in a four hour podcast in my YSL windbreaker and I have these text from Page thing. Where are you?
Hannah
You're dead to me for dead.
Paige
I'm gonna kill you. You're dead to me. And I'm like, okay. And I realize she's been there for an hour without me.
Hannah
Oh, I was gonna say, mind you, it's like 15 minutes.
Paige
I went to the Uber driver. I was like, step on it. My friend's alone. My friend's in danger.
Hannah
The amount of small talk that I had to do, honestly, the only way I could describe it is I felt like I went to visit my friend's college for the weekend, and this was the first Friday night party, and you were in, bringing me around, being like, this is my friend. She goes to a different school. But, like, she's here for the weekend. So, like, have fun.
Paige
And, like, you guys have seen her around. Like, yeah, you're like, you've definitely, like,
Hannah
seen her on my Instagram. Like. Like, no, she doesn't go here. But, like, she's really fun. She's my friend.
Paige
Literally, the head of Netflix was like, she doesn't even go here. And you were just in a hoodie in the back. But it was. It was so fun because I feel like my comedy friends, my, like, co workers in this other job I have.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
So to, like, I was also showing off. Like, I was like, paige, look. Look at all my friends. And I. I started. I got in crazy Hannah mode again.
Hannah
Well, you and I are very different. That when we get into a situation that's, like, overstimulating or, like, a lot of things happening, I get more reserved and quiet, and you get louder and talk. There was a moment where Hannah just yelled, women and children only. Okay.
Paige
By the way, this is the most insane brunch where, like, every. Imagine you spot a celebrity. Like, that feeling you get. Imagine that's every time you look somewhere. So, like, I look. Eddie Murphy's right there. Kevin Hart's right there. Nikki Glazer is right there. Nick Kroll's right there. David Letterman's right there. Jon Stewart's right there. Like, that's just who you're with. And we had to take this big photo, and we're all trying to, like, figure out where to stand, and it got kind of chaotic. And then at one point, I was just feeling myself. I go, women and children only. I look back, and Nicole is just standing there, and I was like, hi, Nicole.
Hannah
No, there was a moment where I. I, like, squeezed Hannah's arm, and I was like, shut up.
Paige
I put down the. The what? The window of the car, and I was, like, yelling at Chelsea Handler.
Hannah
Literally, I was like, stop causing a spectacle.
Paige
No, you literally were like, hannah stopped. Hannah, get in the car. Hannah, get. Hannah, get in the car.
Hannah
I clenched my teeth, and I was like, we have to go.
Paige
You've had enough. You've had enough. We'll Talk about this later. Take off the windbreaker. Take off the windbreaker. I feel the adrenaline hit, and I was looking at you like I couldn't control myself, wanted to be normal, but I was like. I was like, Paige, you were too.
Hannah
So excited.
Paige
I got so excited to see all my friends and all these people I look up to did go up to Matt Rife and tell him that I have a joke about him in my upcoming special.
Hannah
We don't know if he loved it or not, but he laughed.
Paige
Then he. We'll. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see. I feel like that was, like, a response.
Hannah
He laughed, and then he walked away. He was like, I'm done here. No, the brunch was very cool. I loved my glam, so I was having a good time, which is really. That's so Something unhealthy. But it's fine.
Paige
You looked so good.
Hannah
Thank you. And I loved my dress.
Paige
Did you meet anyone that you were, like, excited to meet there or you were just observing?
Hannah
I, like, was observing. I, like, didn't want to go up to anyone and be annoying, obviously. I love seeing Chelsea Handler and Nikki Glaser, and I love seeing the girls.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And it was so much fun.
Paige
Taylor Tomlinson said she loves our clip.
Hannah
I love her.
Paige
She loved Taylor Shout out. Iconic.
Hannah
But the actual. The actual event of, like, Mindy Kaling, Brenda Song, Kate Hudson was, first of all, I am Mindy. Mindy is me. I felt like we were long lost sister, actually. I felt like we were friends from high school that hadn't seen each other in a minute, but it was like, like nothing had no time had passed.
Paige
But it was also giving, like. Like, maybe you went to different high schools, but you were the same font in that high school.
Hannah
And so we were, like, cool with each other.
Paige
She was like, I know what it's like being prom queen 800 times. Like, I know you had to run the society of whatever. Like, it's exhausting. I know that.
Hannah
And no one gives you any credit for how beautiful you are. Like, that was the vibe we were giving to each other. And I feel like Kate Hudson was so Hannah coated in so many different situations.
Paige
And.
Hannah
And let me tell you, she's the definition of whimsy. There's something about her aura that's very calming while also being. Oh, my God, I don't even know what the word is. It's not starstruck, and it's not. You're not, like, you say starstruck. Starstruck. Like, it wasn't. It Wasn't like, I was starstruck, but I was very aware that you're like, no, I was a celebrity.
Paige
Well, you. You're a. Because Kate Hudson, we asked her about revenge, if how they feel about revenge. And Kate Hudson was like, we love forgiveness. And I was like, I love that, Kate. I love forgiveness, too. And then you called my ass out and you said, hannah Burner, you were the most vengeful person I've ever met. Stop trying to suck up to Kate Hudson and make her like you. And I said, how dare you call me out. I was about to be best friends with Kate Hudson, and then you called me a fraud. I, like, forgot the crowd was there because I was like, don't embarrass yourself in front of Kate Hudson. Yeah, but Kate Hudson, what I love about her is she's exactly how she is in every rom com.
Hannah
She's the who you want. Like, if you think about meeting her, it's exactly who you want her to be.
Paige
Easy laugher, charming little jokes under her breath. She's just so iconic. And she's nominated for an Oscar for singing last year.
Hannah
Yeah. And you just want to, like, keep looking at her and, like, be around her. She has a very, like, infectious smile and personality. And Brenda Song. Oh, my God, one of the most down to earth. Very nice. Just. I just felt like we were girls together.
Paige
I didn't want to bring this up on the panel because it seemed, like, too intense, but I was like, she's been acting since she's three years old. Like, the fact that she's as normal as she is.
Hannah
She's been in a lot of stuff, too.
Paige
A lot of stuff. She's had so many different lives in Hollywood. The fact that she's so well rounded and cool and like, I mean, like,
Hannah
she was in the Facebook movie.
Paige
Oh, my God. She's done everything. Also, she's married to Macaulay Culkin. I forgot about.
Hannah
I mean, she's London Tipton. She's London, which was always my favorite. I feel like I was, like, a little bit too old for that show. But I knew.
Paige
Well, you loved.
Hannah
I knew I was a London Tipton girl. I'm also a Sharpay Evans.
Paige
You wanted your name to be London Tipton.
Hannah
It definitely was on my baby name list for a time.
Paige
She also wore this outfit that was both Hannah and Paige coated because.
Hannah
And she said that to us.
Paige
Yeah. Which was crazy.
Hannah
We.
Paige
We didn't talk about at the Netflix's joke brunch. I don't have to say that full Thing every time. That's crazy.
Hannah
Just say the brunch.
Paige
We met Britney Snow.
Hannah
No. You attacked her.
Paige
Oh, no.
Hannah
Physically and emotionally. Oh, no.
Paige
In my head. We met her. But you're right, you're right, you're right.
Hannah
I grabbed her by the shoulders and I told her I loved her.
Paige
You're right. I assaulted Bernice. No. I go, bernice no. Came up to us and you go, no, she didn't.
Hannah
Unfortunately, she didn't.
Paige
No. You know what happened?
Hannah
I did tell her she was my Carolyn Bassett. No. Because she had a very Carolyn Bassett outfit on. She had, like, the perfect black maxi skirt and, like, a white button up. And I was like, so chic.
Paige
Can I say what actually happened? I made eye contact with her while you were trying to pull me out of the party.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
I ripped you off of me. I said. I said, stop it. It's Britney Snow. And she locked eyes with us.
Hannah
Like she knew you don't do drugs. You would be a nightmare to go out with.
Paige
Oh, my.
Hannah
I'd have to leave you on the street. I literally.
Paige
I was on drugs at that party. But I go up to her. Do you know what I said? I said, you're in everything right now. I'm obsessed with you. And she's like, oh, my God, thank you. And I'm like, you're like Glenn Powell. And then I was like, I didn't mean that in, like a. No, I didn't mean it. And then she was like, no, I know what you mean. I was like, oh, oh. And then you were like, you're kind of, like, better. That was better.
Hannah
I had to come in, save apparently
Paige
anything Glen Powell wants to do, Hollywood makes. Like, that's what I meant. Like, anything she wants to be in, I'm like, make it. Yeah, everyone's gonna watch it. She's everything. Also, her style is so fucking good now. And then you were like, hannah, we have a live show in 30 minutes. And. But I'm like, I'm wearing the same outfit. I don't need.
Hannah
I know.
Paige
I was like, early.
Hannah
I'm going home, washing my face, getting glam redone. Wait. I loved my LA glam.
Paige
You looked sexy. Like, you had a, like, je ne sais quoi.
Hannah
No, I had a moment where I was like, should I move to LA for a couple months? Because, like, I'm really feeling this glam and, like, who my style is when I'm there.
Paige
What did you think it was about the makeup? Because, like, you obviously looked like yourself. But, like, was it the brow? Like, what made it more sexy?
Hannah
I think it was my spray tan.
Paige
And at the end of the day.
Hannah
And now we've said it.
Paige
Now we've said it. You guys know we live and die by Revolve. When I don't want to overthink it because there's so much going on, I go to Revolve. I find whatever event I'm going to, it has all the curated recommendations and. And I order all the stuff I want to try on. And then it's. I'm so bad at returning things. Returns are so easy and shipping is so fast. Like, it really gets you out. Got me out of so many pinches and pickles.
Hannah
Also. Yeah. When you're like last minute, you could also know you have an event coming up and you've ordered something for it and then you're like, I hate everything. And Revolve will always come in handy because they're shipping. No, it's just like it's next level.
Paige
They have like a festival festival shop that like, I think went off during Coachella.
Hannah
Oh, my God. I'm sure. I love when they break it down to like vacation, work, festival. Because you're like, yep, this is like my. This is what I'm doing. This is where I'm going. And I actually just wore this like black cutout dress from Revolve and it was super last minute. I had to go to a dinner.
Paige
Came.
Hannah
Beautiful fit, gorgeous love.
Paige
I recently got shoes because, you know you have an outfit. Well, this has never happened to you, but you have an outfit and you're like, I did not think about the shoes and I need it.
Hannah
That's what happened to me.
Paige
And they have all the brands I actually wear in one place. You don't have to go to like a bazillion websites. All the brands are there. I love my a gold Bumbarel jeans that I got there. I like live in them. And then also I'll randomly get like skincare sometimes.
Hannah
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Paige
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Hannah
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Paige
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Hannah
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Paige
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Hannah
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Paige
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Hannah
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Paige
zeal and meets the other accompanying criteria. My wife won't stop talking about Jerry. Jerry says he saved us money on car insurance. Mine too. Found her a better rate and didn't waste her time. Who is this guy? Babe?
Hannah
Jerry checked again and found us an even better rate. Pulled 20 quotes from top insurers, showed them side by side, and helped me switch policies in the app.
Paige
It's a car insurance app? Yep. That's just never happened.
Hannah
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Paige
Sure.
Hannah
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Paige
Was she brave? She was tired mostly, but she went to Carvana.com and found a great car
Hannah
at a great price. No secret treasure map required. Did you have to fight a dragon? Nope.
Paige
She bought it 100% online from her bed, actually.
Hannah
Was it scary?
Paige
Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.
Hannah
Did the car have a sunroof? It did actually. Okay, good story.
Paige
Car buying.
Hannah
You'll want to tell stories about Buy
Paige
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Hannah
Delivery fees may apply.
Paige
I got a spray tan at 10.30pm after the Chelsea Handler show.
Hannah
And we were getting on the plane and Hannah was like, I have a spray tan tonight. And I was like, pardon? I was like, you didn't even tell me. And so then I was like, well, I'll get a spray tan too. I can't be your pale, weird friend.
Paige
Which I've been many times. It's not that bad.
Hannah
The only place I like getting spray tans is in Los Angeles.
Paige
They don't around with it.
Hannah
They're artists. Like I've yet to find a really good spray tan artist in New York City. For whatever reason, I feel like everyone goes to sugared and bronzed in New York and I not that I dislike them, I just feel like I did that in my early 20s and they changed their formula at some point and ever since then I don't feel like it looks the same on my particular body.
Paige
You just. Kylie Jenner Snapchatted them. Like, the fudgeing marketing girls, like, no, I love them.
Hannah
No, I love them. I think they're great.
Paige
They integrate.
Hannah
I think they're great. If you're the kind of girl that's like, I'm making an appointment. I'm going after work on a Thursday, getting ready. I don't like to leave my apartment, so I like someone to come to my house. I've yet to find someone in New York City that comes to my house that I think is good love.
Paige
Sugared and bronze. I had a little incident with them where I was there. This was during, like, reality tv. And a girl was like, in my laby lips, and she's like, by the way, like, I love you on Summer House. And I was like. And then I got on the subway after and sweat through my entire tan. And I was like, this is gonna work. But I feel like LA has to be good spray tans because people around you are tan. We're New York. When you get spray tan, everyone else is pale. So it doesn't even have to be that good. You're like, I'm glistening. Where la. You're competing with actual tans around you.
Hannah
There's something. I know that New York City is like the fashion capital or one of the fashion capitals of the world, but there's something about New York City that's like. You can be a gremlin on the street and there's. And in other cities, sometimes it doesn't feel as accepted. And LA is one of those cities
Paige
and not even gremlin. You can express any range of emotion.
Hannah
You can express.
Paige
You can yell at people, you can cry.
Hannah
You could sing me in any outfit and be coming or going from anywhere. And I appreciate that. It's a Sunday, and she's in full sweats and like.
Paige
Yep. Or full glam.
Hannah
Or full glam.
Paige
I mean, you do photo shoots in the middle of the street in New York City, and everyone's like, she's working.
Hannah
That's my front yard.
Paige
Sorry, that's my office. Did you get on one of those buses for a photo?
Hannah
Oh, my God. Okay, so the Daphne summer comes out on Tuesday, actually on the 12th. And that's already summer. And so, like, we were like, let's do, like, our vibe this summer is like, let's do like city in the summer. So we're coming up with, like, all these different ideas, and they're like, what if we get on one of those buses? And I'm like, okay, but we're gonna have to, like, buy tickets. Yeah. To, like, get. Because you, like, buy tickets to get on those buses and then you have to, like, do a 45 minute tour. And because I was like, how are we gonna get the pictures? So it's me, like one other girl, the photographer. We get on, we buy tickets, we get on bus. We already, like, know the route. We, like, did it the day before to, like, know what to do. Get on the bus.
Paige
Wait, is the tour guide, like, no one's listening in the back. We're doing a full.
Hannah
Everyone starts getting on. There's like the sweetest families in the back row. And we're like, hey, do you mind if you move for just, like, one minute? I'm gonna take a quick picture and then you can sit back down. This family, by the way, this is
Paige
what she did to me on my Bachelorette. Continue.
Hannah
This family was so sweet. That's how I knew they were tourists. They were probably like, what a New York City moment. This random woman is gonna just have a photo shoot. They move, they move their kids. They're like watching me do the pictures. They're like, you look amazing.
Paige
They're fanning you. They start giving you notes. They're like, chin down.
Hannah
They now work for Daphne.
Paige
They're getting BTs.
Hannah
We get the picture. We get off before the tour starts. So we didn't even have to do the tour, but. But thank God we bought the tickets just in case because, like, the bus could have started moving, but then we got it and it was great.
Paige
There was so much stuff. I don't want to just quickly. What's the word? Yeah, skip over.
Hannah
It's a couple. It's a couple words, but
Paige
yeah, Chelsea Handler show. You guys understand my Laura with Chelsea Handler. I taught tennis to her when I was younger. She doesn't remember. I was like, I've read all your books. You're my everything. Chelsea lately made me want to be me to men.
Hannah
Wait, I didn't know you taught tennis to her when you were younger.
Paige
After college, I was teaching tennis in Shelter island to, like, six year olds, to, like, 85 year old men. And one of my older male clients was like, oh, Chelsea's coming to play doubles with us today because she was dating Andre Bellage at the time who had a hotel on Shelter Island.
Hannah
Who the heck is Andre? You just said that like, we all know he's.
Paige
He's a hotelier.
Hannah
Oh, chic.
Paige
I've never said hotelier before. That was iconic. Chelsea Handler comes in and this was during Chelsea lately. And this is like, my knees went weak. I was, like, double faulting. I was, like, so nervous. It's one thing to like, be with your. Your. Your. The person you look up to for like, a minute and meet them. I played crazy doubles with her.
Hannah
That's intimate.
Paige
It was crazy. And I. I had to pretend that I didn't know anything about her. I was like, where are you from? New Jersey.
Hannah
Wait. I love that she's from New Jersey. Like, I think New Jersey gets such a bad rep, but I genuinely do think some of the funniest people I've met in my, like, personal life are from New Jersey.
Paige
And at the end, I was. Because I was. I had no idea what I wanted to do for a living. I did not think I was going to be in comedy. And I was just like, do you have any advice for, like, women in the workforce? And she looks at me, and she was like, I got lucky. And then when I met her years later, I told her about it, and she was like, I must have been high. Don't.
Hannah
That doesn't bring horrible advice.
Paige
Like, I've never been to Shelter island before.
Hannah
That wasn't me, you weird freak. Here's one thing I want to say about Chelsea Handler, and I'm not even trying to, like, suck these celebrities like assholes. I'm, like, genuinely saying my experience. I think they're in any field, no matter what you do for a living. I think there are so many women that say, I want to, like, make room at the table for you, or, I want to, like, help you. I want to be a mentor or whatever. Chelsea Handler is one of those people that I feel like, says that stuff and actually means it. Like, any time I've ever seen her in a public setting, I've never felt more safe to be with someone. And it's almost in. And I know she doesn't have children. It's almost in a very maternal way. And so, like, it is something to say about, like, I think that women who don't have children, sometimes people can say, like, really mean things to them. And I. And I think that your maternal instincts can come out in so many different ways rather than just having children. There is something so maternal about her that is so comforting, and I feel like she genuinely means what she says. Like, when I saw her at the brunch, she literally looked at both of us and said, like, my two little girls. Like, I instantly healed my inner child.
Paige
I was like, chelsea's out here. Like, she's taking Care of her whole family, by the way. She's. She has so many amazing friendships in her life. She also, she does have a lot of people. She, she's a mom to like the all of America.
Hannah
To me, I'm like, I called Kim. I was like, you're out.
Paige
Like, Chelsea's answering my emails now. Long story short, she's like, come to the show tonight. And I was like, this is a dream. Because I actually, I don't think I've ever seen her like, live. And I get there and I realize, oh, everyone's friends with Chelsea Handler. I walk in, immediately see Tana Mongeau.
Hannah
No way.
Paige
And we're talking about podcasting.
Hannah
Wait, there are so many times where I've quoted Tana Mongeau and people have like looked at me and I'm like, guys, you need to get on the Internet. And the number one quote that I quote from her is whenever she. Do you remember when DJ Khaled said he doesn't eat his wife out? And then Tana Mongeau says, but you eat everything else. And so the amount of times I've said in my everyday life, but you eat everything else.
Paige
My dream for her is I want her to like come out because she had a singing career at one point. I want her to remix her most iconic things. Like if she made bleach and tone into a song, the clubs would lose their fucking mind. And I don't know why she keeps being like, it's a good idea. Lol. And like, she's not.
Hannah
Maybe there's some DJ will do it for her. But anyway, back to what we were saying.
Paige
I continue to walk in. Monica Lewinsky.
Hannah
What?
Paige
Monica Lewinsky's standing at the bar. I don't, you know me. I don't approach people unless they make eye contact or I know them, I've met them before. I don't cold call celebrities.
Hannah
When is Monica Lewinsky gonna do like a big documentary? And like, I mean, I think it's her time now. Imagine if that happened now.
Paige
I think she's done some form of documentaries and she has an amazing podcast. However it. She needs to have like a. Yeah,
Hannah
because like I couldn't imagine in today's day and age us looking at like a 25 year old girl in the White House being like, she tricked the President of the United States. Like, that was so up.
Paige
Also, remember when that was the craziest thing that happened in our government?
Hannah
Whimsy and fun.
Paige
But I was with Gabby and Stuart and I go, I don't Know what came over me? But I was like, we need to say hi to her. We swarm her, and we just go, monica, you're so inspirational. We love you.
Hannah
You're amazing.
Paige
You're everything. And she was so nice. And then we left, but I was, like, so happy. I attacked Monica.
Hannah
I need a Ryan Murphy, Monica Lewinsky show. I need a real.
Paige
She does play Bill Clinton.
Hannah
Wait,
Paige
he can't play the saxophone, but he does have a nice silver.
Hannah
Wait, I'm obsessed with that idea. Should we just cast it? Should we just do, like, a play in your backyard?
Paige
Sorry, we're busy. We're late. On the podcast today. DEZ forgot his lines.
Hannah
You know what I think about all the time? That your parents performed a play last summer. And it, like, literally, I could cry when I think about it, because I think it's so sweet.
Paige
My parents didn't just perform a play. My mom ended up writing, producing, directing the play. God forbid the woman takes a break. She's retired, by the way. And I'd call her, and she's like, we're rehearsing. So we're. Monica Lewinsky's behind me. Tana Mongeau's behind.
Hannah
Sorry, we are going on so many tangents. Okay.
Paige
And then Tish Cyrus walks in. My little mom. I was too nervous to say anything because, again, what do I have? What am I gonna be like? What am I gonna say?
Hannah
What am I saying to Tish?
Paige
What am I saying to Tish? So I left Tish alone.
Hannah
Oh, you must leave Tish alone.
Paige
Also. Is Tish a full name or is it a part?
Hannah
Don't. Tish is tired. Do you know Tish? Wait, so Tish's other daughter, Noah, was dating a guy. They broke up. Tish married the guy. Put that in your straw and drink it this morning.
Paige
These hoes ain't loyal.
Hannah
But again, crazy. And I don't think Tish and Noah speak. And I don't know if Noah speaks to Miley, because I think Miley, I think she went to the wedding. So she was kind of like, okay.
Paige
So then there's like, this little after party in the lobby, and there's a very tall woman standing in, like, the middle. So obviously my eyes went to her. Maria Sharapova. Maria Sharapova.
Hannah
Now, wait, when Hannah was telling me, like, she briefly told me that she saw Maria Sharapova, and I just kind of looked at her like, okay. And she looked back at me, and she goes, you walk in a room. Anne Hathaway's there. I'M like, got it, got it. Yep. Okay, keep going.
Paige
Because my friends, I guess, didn't really know Maria Sharapova and I'm freaking out and they're like, go talk to her. Go talk to her. I said, I'm not disrespecting Maria Sharapova. Also, imagine your whole life, you're watching someone and like, they're your idol and then you have a chance to say something to them and it doesn't go well. And like 80% of my interactions don't go well and that's that you've harmed the, the image of your idol in your head forever.
Hannah
That is so depressing.
Paige
So they were like, they literally. We had, I did have like a 30 minute conversation of why I wasn't going to talk to Maria. But my thing with some of these people is I will meet her when I'm supposed to meet her. Like, I don't know when it'll be, but it's. It was not that time. It was not the moment.
Hannah
This episode is presented by Depop. Okay, gigglers, can we talk about the fact that we all have a section in our closet that basically just vibes and delusion? Like, I bought it for a version of me that goes to Paris Fashion Week, but she hasn't checked in recently. Instead of letting those pieces emotionally support you from the hanger, you could be making money on Depop. Depop is a fashion resale app where your personal taste actually has value. And before you're like, ugh, selling sounds like admin. Relax. You can list an item in just a few taps. On Depop, you snap a photo and their AI listing tool helps fill in the details. They even suggest smart pricing, which is giving efficiency. And the best part, no seller fees. I'm obsessed. Make money easily with no seller fees. On Depop, that means what you earn is yours. Even if you sell one thing, that's a win. Also, Depop has built in tools like offers and boosted listings so your pieces actually get seen by people who share your taste. Because trust, someone out there is searching for the exact jacket you're saving. So download the Depop app, list one item, and let your closet start paying you back. It's chic. It's productive. It's Depop. This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by Haagen Dazs. You know that feeling when you've been going non stop and you finally just sit down and everything gets quiet for a second? That's the energy Haagen Dazs is giving. And I'M so here for it. They just dropped a brand new flavor made to be savored. There's the new Coffee Almond Toffee ice cream. It's Brazilian coffee ice cream. Buttery toffee pieces, crunchy California almonds. The coffee ice cream is deep, smooth and toffee brings the warm, buttery sweetness. And the almonds give you that satisfying crunch with every spoonful. It's the kind of thing you have to slow down for because you actually want to taste all of it. And that's the whole thing about Haagen Dazs. It's rich, smooth, creamy ice cream that's genuinely too good to rush through a moment that's just for you. Take your sweet time. That's Dawes. Find Haagen Dazs new Coffee Almond Toffee ice cream at retailers nationwide. There's so many benefits to taking a walk in the morning. Did you know that actually getting sunlight right after waking up keeps your circadian rhythm aligned? Well, if you're trying to add new habits and wake up and take a walk in the morning, also grab a Kachava travel pack. It's the all in one nutrition shake that you can take wherever, whenever. Kachava supports all day energy with five key vitamins and minerals. It keeps things regular with fiber, probiotics and enzymes and fuels and fuels and replenishes your muscles with protein and electrolytes. Cachava has all the nutrition your body craves in one delicious, simple shake pack. To go. They have six delicious flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai and strawberry. I personally love their chocolate flavor and since I've been going on so many walks recently and getting my 10,000 steps, this is the perfect little treat while you're taking a walk. No artificial flavors, colors or sweeteners. No soy, no animal products, no gluten and no preservatives. Take your daily ritual with you. Go to kachava.com and use code giggly at 15 off your first order. That's Kachava K A C-H-A-V-A.com code giggly. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's mental health Awareness Month and therapy just got even more affordable. BetterHelp is now accepting insurance in many states with the average CO pays around $23. So if you've been thinking of trying online therapy, now is the time to get started. With an average rating of 4.9 out of 5, BetterHelp's live session is based on 1.7 million client reviews. Betterhelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. All you have to do is fill out a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp typically gets it right on the first try, since they are the world's leading online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. BetterHelp is an in network with major health plans like United Healthcare, Cigna, Aetna and more. With average co pays around $23 for eligible members. Fill out the questionnaire and check your coverage today@betterhelp.com gigglysquad that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com gigglysquad Average copay is based on eligible members. Actual cost and coverage may vary by plan.
Paige
Olant Bass was also there. Okay, I was. And I ended up, you know when you're in a conversation but like you haven't been introduced, I somehow found myself in a conversation with him but not talking to him and trying not to acknowledge that I know him. And he, he knows. He's like, look at this millennial. Like, obviously she's right.
Hannah
Lance Bass.
Paige
So I was just, I just stayed quiet the whole time.
Hannah
Can I tell you something? Because I see a lot of people online being like, paige thinks everyone's gay. Like, not all her ex boyfriends are gay. If it doesn't clock to you, Lance Bass was my favorite in NSync. Okay. So yeah, actually I do have a little knowledge on what it's like to have a crazy crush on a gay man.
Paige
Is there a word for like the gay dar of if you're attracted to them, he's gay?
Hannah
I don't know. But I think I could like put it in numerical form if I did the appropriate research. Because what are the chances? And everyone was out here loving Justin Timberlake and I thought, too straight for me. Let me have a crush on Lance.
Paige
Do you know who I like?
Hannah
Who? Joey Fatone.
Paige
No, but he was cute.
Hannah
Who did you like? Because I would have said Lance Bass.
Paige
Jc.
Hannah
You did? Yeah.
Paige
Cuz he was the underdog. I was like, he's the one with the good voice. And Justin Timberlake is just dancing around the front. And I'm like, let JC sing. JC's the real talent here. And he was kind of quiet. Yeah, and I like that in a man.
Hannah
Yeah, yeah, I like that in a man too. But I wouldn't have seen, I would have seen you as a Justin Timberlake.
Paige
I know, I did like Justin Timberlake. But I knew that he. We weren't going to settle down.
Hannah
Right.
Paige
Like, I'm like. I was like, we're not.
Hannah
He's not for each other.
Paige
Yeah. He's not going to be, like, husband material. Where JC was husband material.
Hannah
Same with Backstreet Boys. Like, I liked. What was his name? Not Nick Carter. And it's like, you have bad taste in men.
Paige
Nick Carter is. I can acknowledge that he's attractive, but he's. Again, let's start calling men not marriage material.
Hannah
Let's start calling out men's bad behavior and not saying that women pick badly. Yeah.
Paige
Also, a lot of the time, the women aren't picking. It's the men that come to us.
Hannah
They lie, and then they lie, and
Paige
then the women are told that they picked wrong.
Hannah
And then you're six months in, you're like, wait, where'd your. Where's your personality? And he's like, oh, I changed it. This is my new one. And you're like, what? It's very scary. It's very rattling. Anyhow, since we're on, like, a little bit of a celebrity, like, gossip sesh right now, Timothy and Kylie, I can't get enough. I'm obsessed.
Paige
Did you see them, like, kissing at the Knicks game?
Hannah
Did you see her with, like, her. Her digital camera just, like, taking pics, having. Just, like, being a girl at a basketball game? She is me when I'm with a man at a sex sporting event, because I'm like, I don't care. I don't give a flying.
Paige
She has to go to a lot of games, like, and she's not even watching her husband play. She's watching her husband watch other men play.
Hannah
That's when you know you really love someone. When, like, the things that they like that you don't care about, you get excited to watch them, be excited to, like, have fun.
Paige
That's kind of like when Des and I are trying to pick something to watch and he gets. He's really excited to watch something, and I don't care. Yeah, I'll enjoy it because he's enjoying it. And then he's like, you could watch it without me.
Hannah
And I'm like, okay, if you're dating a guy and you find his hobbies to be like, well, there's so much nuance in that. Say that.
Paige
Wait, I love. This is the first time in the pod ever. You're like, I'm not going to say that. Because there's nuance to it.
Hannah
There's nuance. There's nuance. There And I can't make up. I actually can't make a blanket statement, which is what I usually like to do on things that I don't know much about. Wait. My friend Katie had a baby literally yesterday. And I went to see send. I was like, oh, I have to send, like, something, something to the house for her to get home. It's a very weird feeling when your friend texts you and is like, hey, baby's here.
Paige
The eagle has landed. You're like, are they staying?
Hannah
And so I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, I'm like. I'm like, what should I send to the house for the baby? And then I realized she's a small baby. My friend, like, I'm like. So I sent her a Lola blanket. Cause I was like, no, Katie is the small baby who they just made give birth.
Paige
Low key. I get nervous, though, because it is like your friend introducing you to someone new. And it's like, I don't know this bitch.
Hannah
It's also funny because it's like, I've been friends with Katie for like over 10 years now. And she sent me a picture of her baby. And in my head I was like, I know that you love him more than me now. Another thing I just want to say, like, about this past weekend, traveling to the west coast is just in itself, like a whole thing trauma. And I'm not even, like, saying anything. I'm just saying about traveling in general. Whether you're traveling on a train, a plane, a bus, or whatever, wherever you are in your journey, I don't think serving fish is ever appropriate, ever. You take one shrimp in any capacity. If you're on Delta, they're trying to push shrimp on you. If you're on Jet Blue, I literally got on a JetBlue flight and they said, do you want a trout crostini? I said, I literally looked at this man and I said, does anyone want a trout crostini on here?
Paige
See, that's where me and you were different. I said, I've been having a boring ass day. Let's see. That's my drug of choice. I'm like a trout crostini in the middle of a plane where the bathroom is very far.
Hannah
I just think when you're traveling in the air inside of a tin can, there's so many variables. Why throw in one that we don't need? And that would be fish on a plane. God forbid one trout went bad. It all it takes is one trout. And then like, in my head, I'm sitting there and I was like, I haven't heard so said the word trout since the parent trap.
Paige
Like.
Hannah
And I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Paige
You know what I was thinking about with fish? This lady was telling me about how, like, salmon sperm facials are doing so well and everyone loves salmon sperm. Salmon sperm. And I'm like, what about other fish's sperm? Like, other fish. Like, my come means nothing. Like, why is it just the salmon that their C is good for people's faces? There's so many fish out there. What about a flute? What about a. I'm like, I can't listen. I don't know any other fish.
Hannah
Are the salmon in the water just being like, hey, we're more than our sperm?
Paige
Like, this is up. You're telling me swordfish doesn't have good cum? Swordfishes are the fuck boys of the sea. A swordfish.
Hannah
What are the fish that are like, the flat ones?
Paige
Flute. Oh, flounder. Flounder, yeah.
Hannah
No, like a stingray. I feel like they have really potent sperm.
Paige
Anyway, speaking of celebrities, can I just say something? Justice for Rachel Zegler.
Hannah
Justice for Rachel Zegler. Oh, Snow White. Yeah. Why?
Paige
Well, I just feel like I've. We know her and she's like the nicest, sweetest theater kid you've ever met in your life. They were being so mean to her at the Met Gala.
Hannah
I was just gonna say we didn't even speak about the Met gala.
Paige
Yeah.
Hannah
And honestly, the only thing I can say about it is I thought a lot of people looked bad. I thought more people looked bad than they looked good. I don't think. No. First of all, I thought the theme would have. When I heard the theme, I was like, oh, people are going to go really hard.
Paige
I wanted on this structure, I wanted literally people pieces of works of art. But they were just, like, taking inspiration from, like, a painting of, like, a woman in a white dress.
Hannah
Yeah. And I just thought, like.
Paige
Or a statue. Yeah.
Hannah
I just. I didn't really like anyone's.
Paige
It's funny because people are like. I think people are trying to be too cool. They're trying to be like. I'm just taking a hint of this, like, Monet photo.
Hannah
I'm like, I hate to say it, but the Kardashians are just so interesting to look at.
Paige
Sorry, The Kardashians, they just are. Killed it. Did you see Gigi Hadid's interview?
Hannah
I did not.
Paige
Paige. Paige. It was my biggest nightmare.
Hannah
Wait, why?
Paige
She's. She's have, like. She's obviously stressed out. She's at the Met. She stops to do a favor and do someone's interview, and they go, gigi, what's your favorite piece of art?
Hannah
Oh, no. That's like, whenever someone's like, what's the last book you read? And you're like, I'll kill myself.
Paige
You could tell she's like, I'm not going down without a fight.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
She starts just kind of rambling.
Hannah
She's like, every painting I've ever seen in my life.
Paige
She starts going, I love collecting. Collecting art is fun. I've looked at a lot of art. There's been like, she's killed on it. And it's the most painful watch. But, like, you cannot judge this girl because. What? Well, I would have just been like, Michelangelo. You know, she should have said. She should have said my child when. My child.
Hannah
Yeah, that's a really good one. I would have immediately just been like, the impressionist. I don't know. Like. I don't know would have come to my head. One time, I was on a date with a guy, and he asked me that question, and I got so nervous.
Paige
You should break up with him for that question. Like, that's a setup that he wants you to fail. He's rooting against you.
Hannah
Okay. I thought about it for years after this date. Like, it really me up that I felt, like, so dumb. And I came to the conclusion in my own head that he was trying to make me feel dumb. Like, he didn't actually care to talk about, like, art. He just wanted me to feel. I actually think he wanted me to feel poor.
Paige
Yeah. Because that's such a pretentious question.
Hannah
Yeah. I was like, shut the up, dude.
Paige
I don't know. I go to society6.com and I print out something.
Hannah
I don't know her to chess.com probably not.
Paige
She responded, been like, and what's your favorite female painter of the 1920s?
Hannah
I don't know really. It, like, I thought about it for years. I don't know why it annoyed me so much.
Paige
Anyway, well, I went on a podcast and they sent questions beforehand, which I'm. I like to riff. I don't even like to look at what they're going to ask.
Hannah
Yeah.
Paige
But I some. I saw book and I was like, that got my attention.
Hannah
I started Strangers.
Paige
Do you love it?
Hannah
I love it.
Paige
Are you doing audio or. And I don't judge.
Hannah
I'm reading. I'm reading the audio.
Paige
Her voice, like, is great.
Hannah
Okay, maybe I'll do like, a couple chapters or. You know what?
Paige
You can do you can listen and read at the same time.
Hannah
Okay, that sounds nice.
Paige
Yeah. Because it flows. It flows.
Hannah
I think that we should be allowed to kill one man a year. Here's what I will say as a forewarning. If you're reading the book, if you've even had. If you've even had a small discrepancy on, like, where the coffee was that morning with your partner, do not dive into this book. Because I found myself looking up from the book, looking around, being like, I'll
Paige
murder someone because she's waspy and waspy. People, like, don't even talk about their feelings to their, like children. They're just like, you know, Winston, get out of here. She's pouring her heart and soul about
Hannah
her privilege that these men, these rich men. Ha. It's. Oh, it's so blood and fury. Like, your blood starts boiling reading this. It's the audacity of these men.
Paige
It.
Hannah
I can't. I can't wait to read it. Actually, I'm gonna read it today when I go to the pool.
Paige
So this podcast was like, do you. What's your favorite book turned into a movie? And I was like, oh, my God, you lost me at book. Yeah, so then I'm googling like, books. And I was like, can't say Harry Potter, can't say the Bible. I'm like, do I have to have read the book? Because I loved Gone Girl. That was a book. Everything was a book. So anyway, we're in the pod and then before that they go, what was the last thing you googled? And I'm like, let's pull it up. What's a movie that was. That got turned a book that was turned to a movie. And they were like, thank you for your time.
Hannah
You know what I forget is that we're New York Times best selling authors.
Paige
Yeah, we're writers. Writers and readers are two different things. Anyway. Oh, my God. We just found out that we got recordings from the live show. And by the way, this wasn't like a typical live show. It was like a full interview, which we've never done with these incredible women. So let us know if you want us to post it. We're working through the logistics if we're able to. And sorry this episode was up late. We're really sorry.
Hannah
Hannah had to wear a thong.
Paige
Gracie's sipping a margarita. Right. We are fighting for our life now. We love you, Grace. You deserve it. And we'll talk to you guys later. Oh, and everyone, mark your calendars. June 5th. Take out your gel pens, Sharpie. Whatever you use, put it in your little journal.
Hannah
And Hannah looks so good in the her.
Paige
We're excited. We're good. We got approvals. We love you guys. By.
Hannah
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Paige
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Hannah
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Date: May 9, 2026
Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
In this energetic and wildly personal episode, Hannah and Paige take listeners behind the scenes of their star-studded week at Netflix's comedy festival, unpacking the saga of the famous "windbreakergate," recounting their encounters with celebrities, sharing fashion faux-pas, and diving into the oddities of modern skincare—yes, including salmon sperm. The tone is their signature: self-deprecating, irreverent, fast-paced, and full of chaotic best-friend banter.
“It was for the greater good of America that I had to put my YSL windbreaker out there.” – Hannah (05:47)
Brunch and Starstruck Moments: Both hosts describe the surreal brunch attendee list—Kate Hudson, Mindy Kaling, Brenda Song, Eddie Murphy, Kevin Hart, Nikki Glaser, Nick Kroll, Jon Stewart, Taylor Tomlinson, and more (18:57–20:19).
Panel with Celeb Icons: Hannah and Paige share panel highlights including Kate Hudson’s forgiving philosophy and Mindy Kaling’s “long-lost sister” vibe.
“Kate Hudson was so Hannah coated in so many different situations... She’s the definition of whimsy.” – Paige & Hannah (21:52)
Brenda Song: Both gush about her being down-to-earth and a “London Tipton”/“Sharpay Evans” icon who has remained normal since childhood stardom (23:12–24:08).
Almost-Assaulting Britney Snow: Paige’s cringe/funny story about fan-girling too aggressively (“I assaulted Britany Snow. I go, ‘Britany, you’re in everything right now. I’m obsessed with you.’” – Paige, 25:31)
“My thing with some of these people is I will meet her when I’m supposed to... it was not that time.” – Paige on Sharapova (44:21)
“I thought more people looked bad than they looked good… I just. I didn’t really like anyone’s (outfit).” – Hannah (57:11)
“Why is it just the salmon that their c*m is good for people’s faces? There’s so many fish out there…what about a flute? What about a— I can’t listen, I don’t know any other fish.” – Paige (55:49–56:16)
The episode is a high-spirited mix of industry gossip, self-roasting fashion anecdotes, celebrity culture, and the honest struggles of modern womanhood—woven together with zingers that only two best friends could deliver. For new listeners, you'll feel like you were at every brunch, afterparty, and spray-tan appointment.
Don’t miss: June 5th—Paige’s Hulu special drops!
(Episode skips ad reads and sponsor endorsements for clarity and relevancy.)