Giggling about wrinkles, wikifeet, and moose knuckles

Summary

Giggly Squad Podcast

Episode: Giggling about wrinkles, wikifeet, and moose knuckles

Hosted by Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo

Date: May 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Hannah and Paige reunite for their signature blend of humor, self-deprecation, and pop culture commentary—delivering laughs and relatable takes on everything from aging, fashion trends, beauty obsessions, the drama of girl group texts, social media “performances,” hair removal escapades, and even true crime documentaries. Special focus is given to the little indignities of being a woman (wrinkles, laser hair removal, dermaplaning, and thong controversies), personal stories about anxiety with drinking, and preparations for a major Giggly Squad live show at “Netflix is a Joke.” Expect plenty of real-talk, rants, and giggling through it all.

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Key Discussion Points & Memorable Moments

1. Wrinkles, Linen Fashion, and Celebrity Encounters

• Wrinkles Are Online Kryptonite ([04:31])
  • Hannah shares runway stress about wearing a white linen set and getting wrinkled by the time she arrives at a Miami F1 event. Both commiserate about online critiques:

    “People have said some of the meanest things to me ever because my pants were wrinkled.” – Hannah ([04:37])

• Tailoring Expectations
  • Hannah vents about unrealistic beauty and fit standards set online, riffing on Zara clothing and peer pressure to always look perfect.
• Chance Encounter With Jimmy Fallon ([05:05])
  • Hannah recalls running into Jimmy Fallon (“I was just like, 'I'm all over. I don't know what I'm doing here.'”) and their slightly awkward but friendly conversation.

2. Reflections on Aging, Drinking, and Mental Health

• The Sweet Spot of 28 ([06:28])
  • Paige posits age 28 as the best:

    “28 was hands down, my favorite year of my 20s by far. Doesn't even compare to another year. 28 is just such a good age because you're too far from 30 for people to be like, oh my God, you're almost 30, but you're also too far away from 25. So, people respect you.” – Paige ([06:28])

  • Discussion evolves into how self-acceptance with age can make women hotter and more confident.
• Alcohol Tolerance & Anxiety Journey ([07:33], [08:22])
  • Hannah narrates her break from drinking due to anxiety and gut issues, then her slow return:

    “I truly feel like my body’s like, I needed this past year to get my body re-regulated... now I can drink again because I’m so much calmer.” – Hannah ([10:38])

  • Paige comically “announces” her hungover state as a monumental event.
• Social Recharge & Outing Fatigue
  • Both hosts discuss the daunting reality of socializing in their 30s—the mental load of being funny and likable on demand ([09:54]-[10:06]), and the luxury of bailing on plans guilt-free.

3. Beauty Trends, Hair Routines, and Product Hot Takes

• Bangs, Crimpers, and ‘I Woke Up Like This’ ([10:51]-[11:52])
  • The duo joke about Paige’s evolving hair routines—bangs, crimpers, and the current obsession with effortlessly tousled looks.
• Leave-in Conditioners & Beauty Recommendations ([29:29])
  • Hannah swears by the Crown Affair leave-in conditioner, Paige admits to being easily influenced by Paige’s TikTok-fueled product picks.
• Skepticism Over Beauty Product Marketing ([31:39])
  • Caroline calls herself a beauty marketing skeptic; Hannah admits to loving the hobby of testing everything.
• Microneedling and Laser Hair Removal ([31:46], [32:07])
  • Quick debates on the cost-benefit of beauty treatments:

    “You don't see the benefits unless you do it 800 times. The movie gets really good, like 40 minutes in.” – Caroline ([32:01])

  • Paige and Caroline bond over childhood rituals: bleaching, shaving, and their Italian heritage hair troubles.

4. Friendship Dynamics & Social Media Performances

• Who’s the Hostess? ([14:44])
  • The girls muse on always being the “host” at gatherings, orchestrating the fun, and their (non)performative friendship:

  “Like, have I ever just disappeared in the background of a group setting? Never in my life, where that is your role.” – Caroline ([15:20])

• Best-friend Core vs. Online Perceptions ([15:55])
  • They reflect on being perceived as "so different" (Mary-Kate & Ashley vibes), but actually sharing the same core values—especially as “performative” friendships become less interesting with age.
  • “Sorry for having a brand. Sorry for having ancestors.” – Hannah ([16:32])

5. Wikifeet, Moose Knuckle Shoes, and Underwear Evolution

• Wikifeet Rankings ([20:41])
  • Playful jabs about their Wikifeet scores:

    “Paige is like a 4.9 in Wikifeet.” – Caroline ([20:54])

• Moose Knuckle Shoes & Toe Invasions ([20:39])
  • A laugh-filled expose of new footwear:

    “I feel violated right now. It feels like I’m wearing a thong. It’s invasive, for sure.” – Caroline ([21:22])

• Thong vs. Granny Panties Debate ([21:57])
  • Honest talk about starting to wear thongs as teens, mothers’ roles in fashion education, and the unapologetic “business-like” approach to beauty and style.

6. Childhood Rituals & Familial Upbringings

• Saturday Beauty vs. Saturday Sweat ([24:34])
  • Paige’s Saturdays: elaborate bleach/shave/pamper spa days with her mom ([23:46])
  • Caroline’s: chart-driven, sweat-soaked workouts led by her dad, tennis aspirations, and running to the Space Jam soundtrack ([24:41])

7. Hair Removal Escapades & TSA Mishaps

• Dermaplane Disaster at the Airport ([36:11])
  • Caroline recounts her TSA ordeal as her dermaplane razor sets off alarms. She deadpans:

    “He pulls out my dermaplane razor, and he's looking at it for like three minutes. No. This could be an entire show.” ([38:17])

• Shaving, Bleaching, and Italian Hair Battles ([34:01])
  • Both bond over adolescent beauty hacks and the trauma/blessing of thick, dark hair; hilariously compare their own “baby hair” stories to their mothers’.

8. Safety, Social Anxiety, and True Crime

• Rideshare Safety & Avoiding Gendered Uber Profiles ([41:10])
  • Hannah shares her tip:

    “My name says just P, just the letter P. I put P because I don't want the person to know if I'm a girl or a boy... a grown man whose job is to drive people around was like ‘really smart idea. Because you never know.’” – Hannah ([41:14])

• Travel Tales and Stranger Danger ([41:43])
  • Caroline recounts naively accepting rides from strangers at airports, laughing at her own “final girl” tendencies.

9. The “Should I Marry My Murderer?” Documentary Recap ([48:23]-[56:35])

• TRL: True Relationship Lessons
  • Caroline reviews a Scottish documentary about a woman who fell for a man convicted of accidental murder, marveling at why women stay with problematic men, especially if they’re “6’4”:

    “It’s literally about how long will you stay with a guy if he’s six-four? She brings it up multiple times.” – Caroline ([49:30])

  • The hosts dissect warning signs in relationships, police neglect, and how being “smart” doesn’t equal being immune to danger.
  • Paige draws parallels to her own experience with an alcoholic ex who once claimed he was roofied:

    “The way to know if you’re an alcoholic is if you have to try to explain to someone why you’re not an alcoholic.” – Caroline ([57:11])

10. Girl Safety Products: Nail Polish & Spy Hair Clips ([58:36])

• Paige and Caroline discuss safety innovations for drink-spiking and personal security—nail polish that detects drugs and hidden-camera hair clips.

11. Nails, LA, and the Upcoming Netflix Show ([47:44], [60:22])

• Nail Appointments:
  • Giggling about scheduling, regimens, and extending friendship duties to toes.
• “Netflix is a Joke” Show Prep:
  • Both share nerves and excitement about moving into a new format—interviewing high-profile guests like Mindy Kaling, Kate Hudson, Brenda Song.

    “This isn’t normal Giggly Squad... We have to, like, ask professional, important women questions.” – Caroline ([61:10])

  • Recap how “Hollywood is a joke,” and they’re rolling with it.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “People have said some of the meanest things to me ever because my pants were wrinkled.” – Hannah ([04:37])
• “28 was hands down, my favorite year of my 20s by far.... people respect you.” – Paige ([06:28])
• “You don't see the benefits unless you do it 800 times. The movie gets really good, like 40 minutes in.” – Caroline ([32:01])
• “Paige is like a 4.9 in Wikifeet.” – Caroline ([20:54])
• “I feel violated right now. It feels like I’m wearing a thong. It’s invasive, for sure.” – Caroline ([21:22])
• “My name says just P, just the letter P. I put P because I don't want the person to know if I'm a girl or a boy, like, before I get out there.” – Hannah ([41:14])
• “It's literally about how long will you stay with a guy if he's six-four? She brings it up multiple times.” – Caroline ([49:30])
• “The way to know if you’re an alcoholic is if you have to try to explain to someone why you’re not an alcoholic.” – Caroline ([57:11])

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [04:31] – The Wrinkle Panic & Linen Set Debacle
• [05:05] – Jimmy Fallon Encounter
• [06:28] – The Magic Age: 28
• [07:33] – Drinking, Anxiety, and The Great Comeback
• [11:01] – Hair Talk: Bangs and New Beauty Tools
• [14:44] – Group Social Dynamics & Hosting Duties
• [20:41] – Wikifeet and Moose Knuckle Shoes
• [23:46–24:41] – Weekly Grooming Rituals: Beauty vs. Cardio
• [36:11] – TSA + Dermaplane Razor Incident
• [41:10] – Uber Name Hacks & Safety
• [48:23] – “Should I Marry My Murderer?” True Crime Recap
• [60:22] – LA, the Netflix Show, and Giggly Squad’s Next Chapter

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Conclusion

This characteristically rollicking Giggly Squad episode weaves hilarious personal stories into broader social commentary about aging, self-worth, performing for the internet, and what it means to have an unshakeable best friend. If you want to feel seen, laugh at the little things, and get a sneak peek at what’s next for Hannah and Paige’s Giggly empire, this episode covers it all—wrinkles, moose knuckles, true crime, and everything in between.

Transcript

[Paige]

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[Hannah]

Okay, wait. Have you ever had one of those moments where you're like, I should be doing something fun tonight and then you just don't because you don't have what you need? Because same. But recently I've been trying to be more of a yes person. And honestly, Amazon prime has been enabling that energy. Like the other night I randomly decided I was going to host a last minute girls night. No planning, no groceries, nothing. And instead of spiraling, I just ordered everything I needed and got it that day. Snacks, drinks, even like random hosting things I absolutely didn't need. But emotionally I did. And suddenly it went from maybe next time to yes, tonight. That's what I love. Prime's same day delivery makes it so you can say yes before the moment slips away. Because let's be real, the only thing worse than a bad plan is a plan you never make happen.

[Caroline]

Same day delivery. It's on prime. Available in select areas. Terms apply. So if you're trying to be more spontaneous or just less chaotic, go to Amazon.com prime to find millions of items delivered fast.

[Paige]

Sup gigglers?

[Hannah]

Gary, fix your WI fi.

[Caroline]

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

[Paige]

I mean, the day just got away from me.

[Caroline]

What's up? My holding a grudge Gigglers.

[Hannah]

My grudgy gigglers, you know, and I just thought of One we've never said grasshopper.

[Caroline]

That's really good.

[Hannah]

And that's, like, sweet.

[Caroline]

You don't have to, like, outdo the one I did. That took me forever to come up with the grudge one.

[Hannah]

Different options. I mean, you do one every twice a week.

[Caroline]

I know I am running out.

[Hannah]

There's only so many G words we've done. You've done the same one a lot.

[Caroline]

And you let me repeat. And you, you're like, oh, that's a good one. So women of some of the week has gotten out of control.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Everyone, they're now nominating.

[Caroline]

They're not themselves.

[Hannah]

I'm like, I could have googled that. So we can't actually put you as

[Caroline]

women of stem, but shout out to. First of all, I didn't watch a Kentucky Derby.

[Hannah]

Neither did anyone. Is that a thing?

[Caroline]

I. People, I guess.

[Hannah]

Why they do.

[Caroline]

And the first woman trainer won.

[Hannah]

Yes. I saw that.

[Caroline]

When I first heard that, I thought they meant, like, the woman riding the horse.

[Hannah]

The jockey.

[Caroline]

The jockey. And then I started to think, why the. Is every jockey five to £110? And they're all men. Yeah. They should just be a bunch of Sabrina Carpenters.

[Hannah]

Right.

[Caroline]

And the girls would crush it as jockeys, but there's not one jockey that's a woman.

[Hannah]

I feel like the girls are like, nah.

[Caroline]

Also, like, the girls don't want to, like, force horses to do things they don't want to do. Like, the men are. They, like, to control where girls are. Like, if the horse wants to eat a dandelion, let him eat a dandelion.

[Hannah]

Do you know that they walk the horses out with their horse best Friend, so that they're not stressed walking to, like, the stable that they take off from?

[Caroline]

That's me and you and Jimmy Fallon.

[Hannah]

No, literally, I was like, I have a horse best friend. Wait. I literally go places with my horse best friend. Wait. Speaking of Jimmy Fallon, I saw him this weekend.

[Caroline]

Wait, tell me everything.

[Hannah]

I went to the, like, F1, like, pre race at, like, the preliminary. I have no idea what it was. All I know is I wear a

[Caroline]

linen set, which a linen set is always a risk.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Because, like, you sit, you literally get in the Uber to go there, and then you get out, and you're like, I'm a wrinkled message.

[Caroline]

One thing people hate is wrinkles. One thing that'll get them worked up online is a wrinkle.

[Hannah]

People have said some of the meanest things to me ever because my pants were wrinkles.

[Caroline]

Everyone out here just, like, ironing Every second of the day.

[Hannah]

The Internet made me buy a steamer because I can't be steaming all day long. Same with, like, things getting tailored. They're like, it doesn't. It doesn't fit. I'm like, is everyone running to the tailor the minute they buy something from Zara? Like, give me a fucking break.

[Caroline]

So you're in your gorgeous white linen set anyway.

[Hannah]

My gorgeous white linen set. I'm two cocktails deep. I see Jimmy Fallon from across the way, and I'm like. My first instinct is always, like, don't say anything. Yeah, you don't. You won't remember who I am. So, like, I'm not gonna even put you in that awkward position because that would.

[Caroline]

I don't know if you could, like, survive that kind of interaction.

[Hannah]

I'd melt, because I wouldn't. I. But I always start being like. I don't know if you remember usually that, like, sometimes someone will cut me off if they're like, don't be stupid. We'd, like, just talk.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So whatever. I see him and I go up to him and he's like, oh, my God. Like, what are you doing here? And I don't know why. I was just like, I'm all over. I don't know what I'm doing here.

[Caroline]

He smoked a cigarette. Like, I've been around the streets and,

[Hannah]

like, I have a slick back pony, and that's all I was in charge of for the day.

[Caroline]

It is funny how these random sporting events, like, the celebs that come out.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it was fun. But the one. The. My biggest takeaway from the weekend was a girl on Tick Tock was like, it's my 28th birthday. That girl Maddie, you know, that blonde girl? We know that Maddie.

[Caroline]

Oh, yes.

[Hannah]

She was like, oh, it's my 28th birthday, and whatever.

[Caroline]

Which is crazy, because in my head, she's my age. But I mean, like, we're the same age, right? She's not my age. I'm her age exactly. 20, I'm sure.

[Hannah]

She's not our age.

[Caroline]

She's not.

[Hannah]

We're her age.

[Caroline]

We're all 28.

[Hannah]

I felt so compelled, I commented, what'd you say? I said, 28 was my, hands down, my favorite year of my 20s by far. Doesn't even compare to another year. 28 is just such a good age because you're too far from 30 for people to be like, oh, my God, you're almost 30, but you're also too far away from 25. So people respect you.

[Caroline]

Wow.

[Hannah]

They're like, oh, she's a woman.

[Caroline]

You nailed it.

[Hannah]

I feel like you start to be a woman, you get a different confidence. I feel like at year 28.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And then it's all downhill from there.

[Caroline]

But anyway, I was thinking about aging and how I'm like, aging sucks. Like, you get older, you lose, you lose strength, you lose how you look, whatever, you get happier. Every video I've seen of women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, just being like, guys, you're 20s is the worst mental health of your life.

[Hannah]

I mean, the amount of women that are hotter after having children.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, how do you do that?

[Caroline]

Also, there's a hotness that comes with liking yourself. So that's some woo, woo. Yo, so Jimmy Fallon. Oh, yeah.

[Hannah]

We had like a quick combo and he was great. But anyway, so talking. So whatever. This girl posts this video that she ate and I'm like, oh my God, I love 28. And then I'm sitting and I'm thinking, oh, my gosh. When I turned 29, something happened and I was like, I'm allergic to alcohol. Like, I could no longer drink from 29, 30, 31, 32. I'm now 33. In the past, like four to five months, I've been experimenting. Like, can I drink? Mama's back. Okay, everyone should prepare for this summer. Because I had a cocktail and I was like, okay, I feel good, but usually I can take one cocktail. And then I was, let me try another one. So I have another cocktail and I'm like, guys, are we going out tonight?

[Caroline]

Like, what kind of cocktail?

[Hannah]

Actually, it was really annoying. It was. We were at like a Carbone sponsored something. Like, I don't even know what it was. And so I asked for a Hugo Spritz and they were like, we only have Carbone spritzes. And I'm like, guys, that's like when you say I want though, because you have all the ingredients back there. I hate when places, you're like, can

[Caroline]

I have a Sprite? And they're like, we only have.

[Hannah]

They're like, well, it is a Hugo Spritz, but it has like, great. I'm like, okay.

[Caroline]

Also, I have no idea what a Hugo Spritz is.

[Hannah]

It's like Saint Germain. That's all I know.

[Caroline]

You're like, I don't know either.

[Hannah]

But I want it. I don't need to know. I'm not the one making it. I don't need to know what's in it. So I had three cocktails.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And I went home and took a nap. It Was the best ever.

[Caroline]

You know it's crazy. I came here today to announce something as well. I'm hungover.

[Hannah]

Who are we?

[Caroline]

But this is the thing. I'm actually. You know when you. Oh my God. You. Whenever I would drink. You guys know I love sleep. Whenever I drink in my 20s, I always wake up at 7am it's like a weird.

[Hannah]

I know people like you.

[Caroline]

Cuz normally I sleep till 10:37am I'm up and I. My body refuses. And then I feel like kind of a little anxiety. My body's just like we. Something weird happened last night and we're a little scared.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And then I wake up and then I. Like right now I'm okay, but it's gonna hit me in like four hours. I'm gonna be like, I've been hit by a car.

[Hannah]

Well, I was supposed to go out Saturday night, but I got home and I. I looked at Joe and I

[Caroline]

was like, you're not doing that. Order a pizza.

[Hannah]

Like I'm not redoing my glam. That's insane.

[Caroline]

Oh my God. Well, the mental fortitude. You have to have to like go out, perform, be hilarious and likable.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And no, I was everyone's day chatting, come back home and then do it again. Not in one day.

[Hannah]

No.

[Caroline]

No.

[Hannah]

I feel like I've talked to so many girls that are like oh, I don't drink either. And not because like of like a substance issue. But it's like oh, my stomach hurts or like I vomit or whatever. And I genuinely think it was my anxiety taking over so much. And I truly feel like my body's like I needed this past year to get my like body re regulated from the past like three years.

[Caroline]

And.

[Hannah]

And I think that's why I can drink again. Cuz I'm like so much calmer and

[Caroline]

like I love how you're like guys, if you got mentally healthy, you can get drunk again. You could binge alcohol.

[Hannah]

You can become an alcoholic again.

[Caroline]

Well I.

[Hannah]

You haven't even said anything. I hair.

[Caroline]

Your bangs. Oh yeah, you have bangs. Your hair is. Is that real?

[Hannah]

I've had bangs.

[Caroline]

I know, but this is like fresh bang.

[Hannah]

Oh yeah. I did maybe trim them like two weeks ago. Yeah, actually they could even be trimmed.

[Caroline]

Yeah, your hair is insanely long.

[Hannah]

Well, I can do this better. This was my first time trying my. I have a new product. New product alert. Just like a random hot tools but everyone has a crimper now. The thing to do now is crimp.

[Caroline]

Wait, what? I thought we Just got the. The other hot.

[Hannah]

Yeah, well, you have to have different versions, but also the crimp, not the.

[Caroline]

Like, it has to be like a

[Hannah]

big crimp, not like a three prong. Okay.

[Caroline]

Because I've done the other crimp. You look like you're an 80s, and

[Hannah]

I didn't do the appropriate steps prior, but once I get the hang of it, it's over for you bitches.

[Caroline]

Why do I feel like everyone's trying so hard to look like they just woke out of bed? Woke up out of bed with. But I. That's. This is just how I woke up. Actually. Actually, this is my hair. I got rained on at the bar last night.

[Hannah]

Who. What is this podcast? No rain done at the bar on a Sunday night. Whenever I went out on a Sunday night, my mom would be like, really, Paige? Sunday?

[Caroline]

Why I like the Gigglers is because there was a moment where I was gonna cancel, and I go, the Gigglers need this from me. They need the story.

[Hannah]

Okay, well, before you tell the story, let me. Let's actually preface the story. So Friday night, everyone has the most ambitions ever. We get a text message from Stassi Schroeder group chat. Hey, when can we hang out this weekend?

[Caroline]

We.

[Hannah]

We figure out that Sunday night is our night. That's when all three of us are free. Sunday morning comes, I wake up, and I'm like, you thought, like, I guess I can. I can't go out tonight to a dinner or something. So I'm on FaceTime with Hannah, and I'm like, I'm going to text in the group chat and say that I can't go. And in my head, I'm like, if I can't go, my friend's not going. Like, she's also busy. I literally said in the group chat, don't hang out without me. I'm too tired. I can't come. Crickets. Crickets. I. Then I'm laying in bed a couple hours later, I go to FaceTime. Hannah. No answer.

[Caroline]

Which never happens.

[Hannah]

I go, if this bitch went out and didn't even say, oh, by the way, me and Stassi are actually. I'm like, so you went out of the group chat, you texted on your guy's own and was like, she's a loser. She's not coming. What's our plan? Because maybe. Maybe I would have rallied, thrown my hair up in a top knot of some sort.

[Caroline]

How dare you right now turn this on me? Because you got out of it, and I was protecting you, not forcing you to Come out with us.

[Hannah]

And that's a different perspective.

[Caroline]

And there's two sides to every story.

[Hannah]

I didn't look at it from that lens. Thank you so much.

[Caroline]

And you're like, you left me out. Like, you literally got out of it before me.

[Hannah]

I mean. And we all know you could have texted, like, I'm still going. And I could have been like, have fun, bitch.

[Caroline]

Like, so it was raining.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

I was craz.

[Hannah]

Know what? That was my first thought waking up in the morning. I was like, it's gonna rain all day.

[Caroline]

I didn't go out Saturday because I was fully prepared for this. This was my social event of the weekend. And also, I've been touring my whole life. So I'm like, I have a. I'm a rock star, and I have an open weekend. And I felt. And DEZ was gone. And butter. And I can only talk so long, right? So I was like, you know what? Fuck it, I'm gonna go out. And I don't know what people order at the bar nowadays. I got nervous. I almost ordered apple juice. Like, I was.

[Hannah]

What did you order?

[Caroline]

I said, I got my classic vodka soda with a little pineapple on top. And I think everyone's gonna laugh at me. And everyone goes, genius. So I'm feeling myself. I'm like, I'm back. She's back. But I'm such a slow drinker that my, like, ice melts all the time.

[Hannah]

Well, because you're talking so much. Where. See, I'm a fast drinker because I'm like, I don't want to participate.

[Caroline]

I'm talking, talking, talking, talking. Everyone else is getting other drinks. I'm. They think I'm not fun. I'm like. I'm coordinating a conversation. Yeah. I'm the host. Like, I'm the mc. I'm the emcee of the event. I. I'm asking people questions. I'm tagging along. I'm getting people involved who weren't involved. Like, I am orchestrating.

[Hannah]

Literally anytime I've ever been in a

[Caroline]

group, I'm the host of a reunion. I'm Andy Cohen.

[Hannah]

You do get this weird. Like, almost like, okay, I gotta work.

[Caroline]

I'm responsible.

[Hannah]

We were invited to a dinner. You don't have to make a speech. Don't have to make a speech. You're like, no, People are waiting for myself.

[Caroline]

Like, have I ever just, like, disappeared in the background of a group setting? Never in my life where that is your role.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Which is, I think, why I feel so comfortable with you. Because I'm Like, I've yet to find a man. Like, you go. You do it. You be in charge. Well, because one, I hate that. But with you, I'm like, yes, she's in charge. I wonder what that is. That I can't let a man take control because I'm like, you're taking away my rights. Yeah, but when it's your best friend, you're like, you go.

[Caroline]

You do it.

[Hannah]

How many times have I been like,

[Caroline]

you go first every time. Well, actually, you know, you tell me. I just know. I just know. Well, I don't read the comments, but someone commented on something being like, I don't understand how they're actually friends. They're so different. And I'm like, okay, first of all,

[Hannah]

like, a tale is oldest time. What? Watch any Mary Kate and Ashley movie.

[Caroline]

But, like, we're different. Different. But we're different in a way where, like, you still see us in the same friend group.

[Hannah]

Hannah.

[Caroline]

We're really not.

[Hannah]

Not different. I think we've made it a bit that, like, we're so different.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

But, like, if you get in there and to our core, it's the same DNA.

[Caroline]

And someone was like, they're both a time. That's their whole thing. And I'm like, sorry for having a brand.

[Hannah]

So sorry for having ancestors. What do you want me to tell my great grandma to go?

[Caroline]

Do you want me to watch? You want me to say I'm something else? Sorry, I have an identity.

[Hannah]

Speaking of being Italian, I watched Green Book over the weekend. Oh, I watched it.

[Caroline]

Ran like an Oscar.

[Hannah]

I haven't watched it since it came out.

[Caroline]

Yeah, so good.

[Hannah]

Literally one of the best movies of our time. Anyway, that was

[Caroline]

so everyone watching it

[Hannah]

was new on Netflix.

[Caroline]

I was like, no, I was thinking how two friends, we always. If they're like, the same, they know each other. But, like, you need your friend to be different from you. And, like, to the point where, like, we're in a marriage and, like, I am the boyfriend. Like, I've fully taken on all the roles of the man one. And, like, it really makes our relationship work. Like, I. Like, I wake up in the morning and I literally treat you like my girlfriend. I'm like, is she comfortable? Is. Does she like the routine right now? Is she okay? And, like, that's why our relationship functions well, because, like, we have a.

[Hannah]

We have each other's backs.

[Caroline]

Yes, we have each other's backs.

[Hannah]

You know, so many times, like, me and Hannah will call each other and, like, we'll gossip and there's you know, this is what I can compare it to. You know, when you go out to dinner with a couple.

[Caroline]

Yes.

[Hannah]

And maybe you and your significant other have had a little tiff a couple days prior or even, like, the morning prior, or like, you're like, I want this to change, or I want that to change. And then you go out to dinner with a couple, and you are like, huh, I'm in a perfect relationship.

[Caroline]

What was my point? Are you saying that we're good friends? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I go back to me. Let's go.

[Hannah]

So I feel like every time. Time we get on the phone to

[Caroline]

gossip, you're like, oh, thank you.

[Hannah]

I'm like, oh, my God, Hannah. There are other best friends out there that are just like, it's not it. It's not it. And one of them should get out. They should both get out. But I feel so secure with you after I'm around other girls because I'm like, you guys aren't real friends, and you wouldn't know what it's like to be in a real friendship. It's the same, like, when you get home from dinner and you're like, to your boyfriend or your husband or whatever, you're like, wait, we do love each other.

[Caroline]

Also, the fact that we, like, never get photos taken of us unless it's like, we had to be in an event that, like, contractually we had to get photos is good friends too. It's like, it's not performative. It's like, you know those performative friends who are like, out having fun together. Again. Out having fun together.

[Hannah]

I'm like, well, we're also in our 30s now. Like, we wouldn't post that even. Like, we. You change once you get in your 30s. You're like, I don't need to perform that. I'm out having fun because I'm out having fun. Yeah, we're like, in your 20s, you want. You want people. You're like, this is fun, right?

[Caroline]

Of you. Is this fun? This is fun. I also think that we don't actually like people besides gigglers. So I was telling you, like, the reason social media is so annoying is because it's like waking up and then having to walk into a party and have people talking to you you don't want to talk to. That's what scrolling your phone feels like. That's why I follow cat accounts and architect Digest.

[Hannah]

It's so funny because, like, being in Miami, I'll there's same with New York City, but being in Miami, there's like, Some of the most beautiful girls you've ever seen in your life, and they're, like, walking down the street and, like, their tits are out, and they're just like. They have, like, the cutest little dog. And anytime I'm, like, like, on a walk with Joe and I see, like, a hot girl in my head, I'm like, this girl's a giggler. Like, I can just tell. And so every time a girl will walk by and then, like, notice it's me, like, I feel like we have, like, a weird eye thing. And then I, like, kind of turn to him, and I'm like, are all the gigglers just the hottest girl you've ever seen in your life?

[Caroline]

Literally?

[Hannah]

No. I met two the other day. I was like, guys, gorgeous. Get on a Runway. Get out of here. What are you doing at the dog park?

[Caroline]

And then I met some gigglers who were here for F1, and they were like, oh, we're like head of marketing for whatever, and we're the bosses. And I was like, obviously. Yeah, obviously. Also, I just have to do a quick showing of my moose knuckle shoe. Steve, Matt, take it off.

[Hannah]

Put it on the table.

[Caroline]

It's too sticky under there. It's too. I feel like that would also. You're trying to lower my Wikifeet rating. I know exactly what you're doing. Okay. For people don't know. Paige is, like, a 4.9 in WikiFeet.

[Hannah]

4.7.

[Caroline]

No, it's 4.9. I checked recently, and I'm 4.8. And you are out here. Like, you're actually.

[Hannah]

Am I showing my feet that much?

[Caroline]

You post. Your full grid post is my. Oh, yeah. And I was like, she's not even trying to hide it at this point. That she's a. Like, you would make actual money on billionaires.

[Hannah]

So I'm giving my feet for free. Okay. It would actually be unfair, but I

[Caroline]

have to say, these moose knuckle shoes, first time I wore them, I didn't know that they actually go in between your toe and the other. I thought it was just aesthetic. Oh, I feel violated right now. It feels like I'm wearing a thong.

[Hannah]

It's giving to me. It feels like toe socks. I've actually never even tried one on.

[Caroline]

It's invasive, for sure.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

But then I kind of like it. I'm kind of like, is this fun? There's intrusiveness.

[Hannah]

People wear a thong, but I'll wear it to. But you'll literally put it in between

[Caroline]

your toes because it's ugly and it's not for men. That's all. I'll do it. Thongs are for men. Are thongs for men? Are thongs. Pick me.

[Hannah]

No, they're not.

[Caroline]

Then why do you wear them?

[Hannah]

Because I think they're more comfortable and I don't want them my underwear to show in any pants. So I never have to think about my underwear showing in pants because I only have thongs.

[Caroline]

You're slut. At what point did you start with me?

[Hannah]

Brand made. Granny panties.

[Caroline]

As they should.

[Hannah]

Who are you?

[Caroline]

As they should. Wait, when did you first start wearing thongs?

[Hannah]

I think high school.

[Caroline]

Did Kim say anything? Was Kim, like, Like, did you go to Victoria's Secret?

[Hannah]

Yeah. Here's the thing. Kim and I, like, love a thong. We were working.

[Caroline]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Like, we were putting outfits together on Monday for Friday night football games. Like, we had a. We were running a business. We knew which days we went to the.

[Caroline]

Maybe if you knew what a business was.

[Hannah]

Yeah. You'd be passionate about it. So, like, Kim and I were working. We never got into, like, the weeds of the wise. No, Me and my mom in high school never got into the weeds of, like, a daughter fighting with their mom. Like, we just didn't do that because we were all business.

[Caroline]

Yeah. But she was like, this Capri requires this song.

[Hannah]

Yes. Like, she told me what to do. I did it. And then. But then I gave back to her. Like, I need X, Y and Z. I need salmon on Tuesday nights. Like, like, we don't very working relationship.

[Caroline]

My mom was like, hey, are you gonna start shaving above your knee? And I was like, I didn't know that was a thing. And she's like, just never mind. And I was like, okay, don't ever bring that up.

[Hannah]

I was shaving top, bottom in fifth grade.

[Caroline]

Yeah. No. My mom was like, I think shaving should be a thing. We should start if you want, but if you're uncomfortable with it, it's fine.

[Hannah]

Well, if you want to really talk about, like, girly. Every Saturday morning.

[Caroline]

Oh, I can't wait to tell you my Saturday morning go.

[Hannah]

Every Saturday morning, my mom would run the bath and she would mix up some type of potion that she would put all over her face. And in our, like, the house I grew up in, like, you could, like, step into the tub. So it was almost like there was like, a bench outside the tub. And so I would lay on the bench and she would, like, shave. And she would essentially be actually getting ready for Saturday night, but she would be doing this, like, All Saturday. So, like, to me, in my head, Saturdays were like, you were grooming. You groomed your. And so that's why now Sundays, I'm like, I try my products and I do my hair oil.

[Caroline]

Saturday morning, my dad wakes me up. It's go time. He's written a chart.

[Hannah]

Never saw my dad on a Saturday. Didn't even know he was allowed to be alive on a Saturday.

[Caroline]

My dad woke me up sweating. So in his bedroom, he had a treadmill and weights. So he would. He was actually so cute. He'd draw this chart that showed all the weights and exercises I had to do with stretching in between. And when I finished it, I had to check. So he'd be working out and I'd be working out. And we'd be doing age at like 8. And then I would run on the treadmill and I'd listen. I blast the Space Jam soundtrack. And that was our Saturday morning.

[Hannah]

Olympian athlete. Yes.

[Caroline]

It was crazy. And then sometimes we lived right by Prospect park. So sometimes he'd be like, we're doing laps in the park. And we'd run together around the park until I was like, too tired. And if someone like, passed us, he'd be like, we gotta get him, like, racing random people.

[Hannah]

Our own Kim and I's only cardio. Crossgates Mall, Saturday afternoon.

[Caroline]

And then he would take me to tennis.

[Hannah]

Our Saturdays couldn't have been more different.

[Caroline]

Then we get home and then eat some pasta. That was pretty similar.

[Hannah]

Yeah, that was definitely. Yeah.

[Caroline]

But those Saturday mornings blasting Space Jam, just like imagining I was going to win the US Open. That's what I did.

[Hannah]

Wow. You have ambition, babe.

[Caroline]

You have a mission, too. But it's for beauty.

[Hannah]

That's true. And mine was vain. It's so fun. Mine is so fun.

[Paige]

Good hair days do more than we

[Hannah]

give them credit for.

[Paige]

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[Hannah]

Actually, I meant to tell the gigglers because I've never like been in warm weather for as long as I have been the past couple of months. Do you use a. It's like really not going to be interesting at all. This is like legit girl stuff. Yeah, yeah. This is like serious. Do you use a leave in conditioner?

[Caroline]

I have so many times bought it trying to be that person, but I never have convinced myself I can't not

[Hannah]

use a leave in conditioner.

[Caroline]

You use it in the shower?

[Hannah]

No, when I get out, I put

[Caroline]

it in and then. Do you have to wash it out?

[Hannah]

No, you leave it in really leave in condition.

[Caroline]

Do you spray it on?

[Hannah]

No, I use the crown affair one and I really like it. I've tried a couple and this one I've is my favorite.

[Caroline]

And you think it works?

[Hannah]

I think it works. But like, okay, perfect example is like, I didn't put it in last night because I was gonna do a hair mask and then I fell asleep. And so I feel like my ends are a little like. And this is air dried. And then I did my crimp.

[Caroline]

I have been getting some tiktoks being like, I'll buy anything Paige of Sorbo recommends. And like, I fear we've lost the pot. I fear girls are spending all their money on random shit that you're doing.

[Hannah]

It's not random. It's fun stuff that I like. That really works.

[Caroline]

Yeah. And then six months later you're like, guys, I actually hate it. And it's a hairspray that I've been using on my pussy.

[Hannah]

No, I. Now you have me thinking, I think I'm gonna do a TikTok every week of like products that I've used that week that I like and I don't like.

[Caroline]

Please. Actually, please. That'll be so good. But also, that is our newsletter too. Like the newsletter.

[Hannah]

Oh, right.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

But like, you can't see me in the newsletter. And so there's something that I would know.

[Caroline]

You should. Well, because one thing about you is you will be trying everything.

[Hannah]

I will be trying everything. And every season I like to change my makeup bag. Like, okay, we use that blush now for the past three months. Let's switch it up. Summer's coming. My makeup bag is different.

[Caroline]

You're an actual influencer.

[Hannah]

It's my hobby.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Some girl like giggler DM'd me something like, I forget. I forget what she even said, but basically calling me, like, ridiculous. And then she was like. But, like, in a nice way. And then she was like. And then I remembered, that's just your hobby. Keep going.

[Caroline]

Let her have joy.

[Hannah]

Yeah, let her, like.

[Caroline]

But we're so opposite. I don't believe in any product. I think it's all made up. I think it's all marketing.

[Hannah]

Except the other day I texted you and I said, I really think you should get micro needling, which I'm gonna do. And you were like, your skin looks really good, actually. I really enjoy it. And you're really not even. You don't see the benefits until you've done it, like two or three times. That's how they get you that go back.

[Caroline]

You don't see the benefits unless you do it 800 times. The movie gets really good. Like 40 minutes in.

[Hannah]

That's how I feel with laser hair removal. They're like, don't worry, it'll be gone in 20 years.

[Caroline]

Laser hair removal saved my life because I had an ingrown hair problem.

[Hannah]

Yeah, like your bikini line.

[Caroline]

Since I was little because I was running and sweating everywhere. I was getting these, like, horrible.

[Hannah]

And I was exfoliating at 8.

[Caroline]

I didn't know what exfoliating was. I also was using Nair, which I think that started covet, actually. Actually, Chernobyl is from there. My mom and I had an air phase where we'd be like, Nair time, and the room would smell like Chernobyl.

[Hannah]

This is so niche and so Italian.

[Paige]

Did you ever bleach?

[Caroline]

No.

[Hannah]

Never, like, your butthole? No. Like, nope.

[Caroline]

Which I still don't understand what's going on.

[Hannah]

But you know what? I do have a couple friends who have bleach.

[Caroline]

Your butthole hair or skin? I thought it was bleacher buttle hair.

[Hannah]

Definitely not. It's your skin.

[Caroline]

What? Who even knows what color their butthole skin is? How do you even say. I've never once. And guys, I'm not trying to be pick me, but, like, yeah, I hear men talk a lot.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Unfortunately, I'm in circles where men are like. Men talk in front of me like, I'm a boy.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Never. Months they've been like, she's really hot, but then, like, you know, her asshole like, wasn't bleached. Like, they don't.

[Hannah]

I think about that sometimes when, like, I don't shave. I'm like, he's not. He doesn't give a fuck. He doesn't even know where he is. Please I think he's fine.

[Caroline]

Hard telling people they need to bleach your butthole.

[Hannah]

I think, like, a lot of people do it. In my 20s, I had, like, two friends that, like, did it consistently.

[Caroline]

Oh, there's upkeep required.

[Hannah]

I believe so, because I think it fades. What were we talking about before that we got to this?

[Caroline]

How did we get here?

[Hannah]

Oh, because you don't really have, like, dark hair.

[Caroline]

You know when I dyed my hair blonde that one time?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

I could see a mustache. Because our hair is dark. It almost, like, all blends. But if you were blonde, you'd be like, oh, I have no.

[Hannah]

Before laser hair removal, I used to bleach my arms and my, like, hair on my face, like, in high school.

[Caroline]

I love that. For you.

[Hannah]

Who did it myself.

[Caroline]

You are actually an artist.

[Hannah]

No. Sally Hansen. I'd, like, mix it up. Every Friday night before I went to, like, the football game, I would be like, bleaching. And my girlfriends in high school would always be like, oh, my God. Like, the hair around your forehead is always, like, lighter than your real hair. And I would just be like, genetics. But really it was because I was bleaching, like, any facial hair. But I was. I would never tell anyone that because no one was as Italian as I was. So I wouldn't say they were, like, all I was friends with in high school, everyone was blonde hair, blue eyes, and had the biggest boobs in the world. And then it was me. You really never literally.

[Caroline]

Audrey Hepburn and a bunch of Marilyn Monroe's.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Caroline]

I don't know how you survived that, Stephanie. Thank you for speaking up about that.

[Hannah]

Thank you. Because my best friend Stephanie is, like, Irish and German and God knows what. She does not have a single hair, like, on her body.

[Caroline]

When my mom went to Cornell, shout out to my smart mom. She was, like, one of the few Italians.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And it's like, sorry, I just. Like, my mom has dark hair.

[Caroline]

Can I actually talk shit about my husband? So as you guys know.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Des got his knee surgery. So to get his knee surgery, they shaved his leg.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Caroline]

One of his legs. So it's been like, a week and a half. And he looked at me, and he's like, look at my leg. And I'm like, what? And he's like, look at it. I'm like, what do you want to show me? No, his hair hadn't grown back.

[Hannah]

Your kids are gonna be really lucky.

[Caroline]

Well, let's hope that they take after him. And I'm sitting there, and I have a five o' Clock shadow.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And I shaved earlier that morning. Yeah. And I'm like, it's just crazy.

[Hannah]

My kids are like already hairy. That's how hairy I am. I'm already booking my daughter.

[Caroline]

Come out as a hairball. Just. Yeah, just a bunch of.

[Hannah]

Kitty's gonna birth her and it's just hair.

[Caroline]

Wait. Kids who come out with like full dark.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it's gonna be my child.

[Caroline]

So cute.

[Hannah]

My children's gonna come out with like full ringlets and like ask me where the leave in conditioner is.

[Caroline]

He's gonna have a mustache. Yeah. Did I talk about my dermaplane incident with the TC TSA agent?

[Hannah]

You know, I think that one slips through the cracks. I'm not sure that we've heard that.

[Caroline]

As you guys know, not to brag.

[Hannah]

I mean, that is a weapon.

[Caroline]

I'm flying.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Five times a week. Sometimes I have it down to a science. I know exactly what to do to make everything smooth. So it's always the end of the tour that shit starts to go awry. It's like the universe stops protecting me.

[Hannah]

They're like, go home now.

[Caroline]

They're like, let it go.

[Hannah]

Your aura is too. Across the country.

[Caroline]

You're burnt.

[Hannah]

Yeah. You're.

[Caroline]

What do they say? Cropped? No, you're chopped chops. So I'm in. Where the fuck was I?

[Hannah]

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

[Caroline]

North Carolina, I think. And my luggage gets pulled to the VIP line. Pulled to the side. Great way to.

[Hannah]

They need to take a second look.

[Caroline]

And immediately I'm. I actually get fused, curious. Like I get a little Karen in the head of like, I do this every week. Why is this now? Yeah, like, what's different? And like, because they actually.

[Hannah]

What could you have possibly found that'd be hundred different? Yeah.

[Caroline]

Yeah. Like, oh, you guys have seen something. Anyway, so it's this like 35 year old guy and he's just doing his job. And he was like, do you have any liquids? And I'm like, no, I'm not dumb. I don't. I fly every day. Like, I'm not. I mean I didn't talk like that, but I was just like, no, I only have my Duncan refreshers.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And he's so. He's like looking through everything and obviously my bag is a fucking mess. So they open it up and you get exposed and it's just bad. And I'm like, there's no way he's gonna shut this. Like, you know how hard it was?

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And I'm just sitting there like, this is so. And he can't find anything. So I'm like, this is on you guys. Like, what did you. You're the one who got me here. You're asking me what the problem is. When you said there's a problem, you tell me what the problem is. So finally, he's looking through my makeup bag, and I was like, whatever. And he pulls out my dermaplane razor, and he's looking at it for, like, three minutes. No.

[Hannah]

This could be an entire show.

[Caroline]

So. And I'm looking at him because I'm annoyed. So I'm not giving him anything. I'm just. He's just looking at it. And finally he looks at me. He goes, what is this? And I go, Sometimes I got these little goat hairs on the bottom of my chin.

[Hannah]

Did you say this?

[Caroline]

I said, someone's got little hairs. And it takes the hairs off my chin. And he looks at me, and he's

[Hannah]

like, it's essentially a really thin razor.

[Caroline]

Yeah. So then he starts, like, trying to take it apart, and it's like a nice dermaplane. It's like a heavy one. Like, it's one of those things that I got, like, three years ago.

[Hannah]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caroline]

It probably doesn't work anymore.

[Hannah]

Do you have a dermaplane? Your eyebrows?

[Caroline]

I'm scared. Yeah, I'm scared. I have, like, intrusive thoughts that I'd be like, what if I just.

[Hannah]

Yeah, because I feel like it would. It would be so, like, why don't people do that more? Because is it.

[Caroline]

It's harder to control it, I think.

[Hannah]

But is it essentially shaving? I don't know. Whatever.

[Caroline]

So he. He's looking at me. I'm looking at him. He, like, doesn't trust me or something.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

So he goes, hold on one sec. Gets his manager holding my weapon.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And he's basically up there. He's like, is this a gun? Like, he's. He's talking to the lady. It was a full 15 minutes of him talking to this woman, deciding. So he comes back, and I go, look, sir, I've been flying with this weapon for six months now, and it's never been a problem. Why is he getting flagged now? And he's like, well, technically, it is a razor, and you're not allowed to have razors. And he. He takes it apart, and you could pull. He goes, see, this is. I'm like, well, you just broke it. And he's like, okay, well, do you want it without the razor? And I go, no, no, it's not. Now it's just.

[Hannah]

I want the plastic wand

[Caroline]

so I

[Hannah]

have enough microplastics in me. Sir, I'm not, like, taking this now for the rest of my journey. You've stolen the good part.

[Caroline]

So he's like, sorry, you can't have your full sword. And I was just like, okay, you win.

[Hannah]

It's crazy because I have a razor in my carry on all the time.

[Caroline]

It never gets. Yeah, I've never gotten. So, like, it was this huge deal. And then I was at the point where I was like, do I just, for women, argue that, like, this is important to have in our bags and that, like, also.

[Hannah]

And you know what? I do need a razor on me at all times, because people are crazy. Also, speaking of not all men, I got into the Uber this morning, and my name says just P, just the letter P. And I get in the Uber, and he was like, oh, what's P for? Like, Patricia? And I was like, oh, no, my name is Paige. But I put P because I don't want the person to know if I'm a girl or a boy, like, before I get out there. And he. I did say, get out there. Really get going. And he, like, started laughing, and he was like, oh, yeah, that's actually really smart. You never know. So then I'm in the back of the Uber and I'm like, you don't ever know. Do we know right now, though? Like, are we both in?

[Caroline]

Like, you go, you know. You never know. But do I know?

[Hannah]

Are we in agreement right now that we're not gonna know? We're gonna know that you're gonna take me to the destination, I'm gonna get out, and then you're gonna leave. Like, we're not going to do this on a Monday morning at 8am But I was like, wow, a grown man whose job is to drive people around was, like, really smart idea. Because you never know. That's scary.

[Caroline]

It's so scary that, yeah, the person.

[Hannah]

He's like, yeah, no, these people are fucking nuts. And they'll take people.

[Caroline]

He's like, you know how easily I could take.

[Hannah]

I thought you. Yeah.

[Caroline]

Do you remember when you'd get off at airports? Well, they're still there. And people would just be like, hey, do you want to ride? Do you want to ride? I don't know how it happened, but I was at a young age and I couldn't get a taxi. And some guy was like, hey. And he just, like, seemed nice, and he was like a white van. And I remember thinking, like, this is the last time I'm ever gonna see my family. And I didn't have. My cell phone was dead or, like, one of the situations that I'm like, only I would find. Yeah, my cell phone was dead. I was in a white van. I don't know direction.

[Hannah]

Should I just suffocate myself, or are you gonna do it? Do you want me to just. I'll start it. I mean, you literally gave it to them on a goddamn platter. He, like, slides the van door open.

[Caroline]

It almost was like, this is boring. This is too easy. I want a little bit of a fight or something. I was like, take this.

[Hannah]

He calls his wife. He's like, she wants to come with us. So I don't. I don't know what to do, actually. Nikki Glaser, in her special this past weekend, was, like, talking about how American women aren't getting sex trafficked as much as, like, European women, which, fine, whatever, they are hotter. But every single day, I'm like, someone's trying to take me.

[Caroline]

Did she say in the bathroom stalls? In the women's stalls, it's always like, if you're being sex trafficked, where it's like, in the men's stalls, it's like,

[Hannah]

do you want to say yeah?

[Caroline]

Do you want to blow? Jump.

[Hannah]

The weather is cloudy today.

[Caroline]

Like, yeah. What does it say in their stalls?

[Paige]

This episode is presented by Depop. Okay, gigglers, can we talk about the fact that we all have a section in our closet that basically is just vibes and delusion? Like, I bought it for a version of me that goes to Paris Fashion Week, but she hasn't checked in recently. Instead of letting those pieces emotionally support you from the hanger, you could be making money on Depop. Depop is a fashion resale app where your personal taste actually has value. And before you're like, ugh, selling sounds like admin. Relax. You can list an item in just a few taps. On Depop, you snap a photo, and their AI listing tool helps fill in the details. They even suggest smart pricing, which is giving efficiency. And the best part, no seller fees. I'm obsessed. Make money easily. With no seller fees. On Depop, that means what you earn is yours. Even if you sell one thing, that's a win. Also, Depop has built in tools like offers and boosted listings so your pieces actually get seen by people who share your taste. Because trust, someone out there is searching for the exact jacket you're saving. So download the Depop app, list one item, and let your closet start paying you back. It's chic it's productive. It's depop. There's nothing like going on vacation and laying out in the sun all day. It's my number one hobby. But sometimes I get so tired that I actually try and skip dinner. But not when I have liquid IV. Just one packet and 16 ounces of water hydrates you faster than water alone. Powered by Live Hydro Science, an optimized ratio of electrolytes, essential vitamins and clinically tested nutrients that turn ordinary water into extraordinary hydration. Compared to water, Liquid IV delivers longer lasting hydration and retains hydration for up to four hours. They also have a new Ring Pop flavor and they also have sugar free options like white, peach, rainbow, sherbet, strawberry, watermelon and more. Not only does it keep you hydrated, but all of the flavors taste great. So don't skip dinner anymore on vacation and say yes to unforgettable moments with Liquid IV's new hydration multiplier Sugar Free Ring Pop Tear Pour Live more go to liquidiv.com and get 20 off your first purchase with code GIGGLY at checkout. That's 20 off your first purchase with code [e-mail] this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. It's mental health Awareness Month and therapy just got even more affordable. BetterHelp is now accepting insurance in many states with the average co pays around $23. So if you've been thinking of trying online therapy, now is the time to get started. With an average rating of 4.9 out of 5, BetterHelp's live session is based on 1.7 million client reviews. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. All you have to do is fill out a short questionnaire that helps identify your needs and preferences. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp typically gets it right on the first try since they are the world's leading online therapy platform. Having served over 6 million people globally. BetterHelp is an in network with major health plans like United Healthcare, Cigna, Aetna and more with Average co pays around $23 for eligible members. Fill out the questionnaire and check your covered pay today at betterhelp.com gigglysquad that's betterhelp H-E-L-P.com gigglysquad average copay is based on eligible members. Actual cost and coverage may vary by plan. This episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by Haagen Dazs.

[Hannah]

You know that feeling when you've been going non stop and you finally just

[Paige]

sit down and everything gets quiet for a second.

[Hannah]

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[Paige]

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[Hannah]

And the almonds give you that satisfying

[Paige]

crunch with every spoonful.

[Hannah]

It's the kind of thing you have to slow down for because you actually

[Paige]

want to taste all of it.

[Hannah]

And that's the whole thing about Haagen Dazs.

[Paige]

It's rich and smooth, creamy ice cream that's genuinely too good to rush through a moment that's just for you. Take your sweet time. That's Daz. Find Haagen Dazs new coffee almond toffee ice cream at retailers nationwide.

[Hannah]

We both are getting our nails done today.

[Caroline]

We are. What color are you doing?

[Hannah]

I'm going to do the same thing. But now I've roped myself into being your assistant when it comes to your toes, nails and toes. Now my guy text me, text me when I make an appointment. He goes, what about Hannah? I go, well, let me check.

[Caroline]

You know what? That made my day. Because someone's looking out for me. Someone cares about me because other people didn't believe in me. They were like, I see her nail journey and I don't want to be.

[Hannah]

I got you on a strict regimen,

[Caroline]

and I actually, like, waited for you.

[Hannah]

Like, I was like, this is the longest I've ever gone. I got. I've gone like six weeks.

[Caroline]

It's pretty crazy.

[Hannah]

Disgusting.

[Caroline]

Me and you both watched at least the beginning of.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

The documentary.

[Hannah]

Should I marry your murder? I keep falling asleep. I thought it was a. I thought she was AI.

[Caroline]

Because she's so expressive.

[Hannah]

Yeah. I actually had to go back and in the beginning, and I was like, did they do a warning?

[Caroline]

She should have her own podcast. She's really.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Charismatic.

[Hannah]

There's also something about, like, a British documentary that I'm just like.

[Caroline]

It's. It's Scottish.

[Hannah]

Oh.

[Caroline]

And the whole time they say, meldair, did I marry me. Yeah. Midair.

[Hannah]

I was on my phone for most of it.

[Caroline]

Scottish people. It's an incredible accent. I can't. Yeah. I think you were having trouble understanding possibly. But the. If you don't. Okay. It's incredible. This is incredible documentary because it's literally about how long will you stay with a guy if he's six four, she brings it up multiple times. She's like, but he's six four, and he's six four, and he' six' four. And she literally is like, he took a can, I think. Okay, fast forward if you don't hear what happened. But she meets this Guy on Tinder. 6 4, and she sold.

[Hannah]

Yep.

[Caroline]

And he loves her. And then he's like, I have to tell you something. And it's funny when a guy says, I have to tell you something, you. You like your life flashes before your eyes. You're like, of all the horrible things, like, what could it be?

[Hannah]

See, I usually know. I'm like, I've been waiting. Yeah.

[Caroline]

Oh, you finally want it.

[Hannah]

I'm like, why don't you tell me? Mm, you're kidding.

[Caroline]

And mama's.

[Hannah]

Ah, yeah, we already knew the group chat do.

[Caroline]

Okay, so this guy's, like, drinking and driving with his twin, who's also six' four, which I think adds the lore.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Like, maybe whatever. Threesome, Whatever. Okay, so he kills an old man and hits him with the car, which, like, look.

[Hannah]

Oh, that's how he killed him.

[Caroline]

You didn't watch documentary at all. But that was literally two minutes in. That was the entire premise. They marry murderer. You didn't watch it.

[Hannah]

I couldn't understand that.

[Caroline]

It was actually shown in a visual that he hit him with the cars.

[Hannah]

I was on TikTok. I was multitasking. Kitty's getting brushes, wearing a crumper that at the same time that me and you are getting our nails done. Kitty will also be getting her nails done.

[Caroline]

You got a groomer to come to your house?

[Hannah]

Yes. Well, she goes into, like, a little van. She gets sex traffic.

[Caroline]

Oh, she's allowed to go into a little.

[Hannah]

Yes. She's in animal.

[Caroline]

She's like, mom, have you checked this guy's license?

[Hannah]

She goes down in her Louis Vuitton case, and she's like, I butter would never. Well, I want to get her, like, her nails trimmed, her paws trimmed. Does she get a gloss, get her hair washed for, like, the summer?

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So like, every, like, three months, 10 weeks, usually I give her. I get her a little spa day. She loves it. Kitty loves getting brush.

[Caroline]

It's her hobby when she walks back in the house, like, she likes, like, stop looking.

[Hannah]

Yeah, she knows.

[Caroline]

So anyways, guy hit an old man of this car, which, look, drunk driving is beyond up.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And he knew that. Like, he's in trouble.

[Hannah]

So he Kills him on accident.

[Caroline]

Also, when you're drunk driving, assume you're gonna kill someone.

[Hannah]

Right.

[Caroline]

But, like, he drunk drove.

[Hannah]

Drunk driving is really, really annoys me because I'm like, it's one thing I just, like, I just never have. Like, I've never been in this situation to drunk drive.

[Caroline]

Well, I never drive, drink, and I never drive.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And growing up in the city, we had a lot less drunk driving incidents because. Yeah. When none of us had licenses. So it's crazy how, like, in a suburb, how many kids get in trouble? But anyway.

[Hannah]

And they can't drive to beginning.

[Caroline]

Don't drink and drive and stop smoking cigarettes. It's not cool. I don't care if Addison Ray did it anyway. I'm everyone's mom. Yeah. So they hit the guy and they realize he's still fucking alive. But instead of calling an ambulance, they, like, change their clothes and they bury him alive. I don't know if he was alive, but he had died by that point. But in, like, the 40 minutes that he was dying, he could have been saved. So she's like, oh, this is layers of diabolical. Yeah. But then she's like, he is 64 and made a mistake. He makes mistakes. But she decides she's gonna tell the police.

[Hannah]

He confesses this to her.

[Caroline]

Yep.

[Hannah]

She calls the police. And what did the police say?

[Caroline]

She finds out from him where the body's located. Like, the police would have never found it. And she's drinking a Red Bull, and she drops the Red Bull right where the place is. So she marks it like she's full. She's also woman the stem of the week.

[Hannah]

And she's doing that for the cops.

[Caroline]

For the cops. They're like farmers on, like, acres and acres. And he also, like, cuts up bodies and stuff. Like. Oh, he's a hunter.

[Hannah]

Yes. Okay, so.

[Caroline]

Which I thought this was gonna get way more interesting and be like, this. This is one of the many people he killed. He's not like a serial killer, which was kind of disappointing. But the crazy thing is, though, the cops don't protect her.

[Hannah]

Pardon?

[Caroline]

The cops.

[Hannah]

And she calls the cops. She's like, hey, this guy killed him. I'm marking.

[Caroline]

They bring him in, and they are like. Like, we think that you killed this. Killed this guy. And he denies it. And then when he gets out, she doesn't know if the cops talk to him or not about her. And he calls her and he's like, where are you? And she's like, I cannot be with him. But she has to pretend that she's not like, hanging out with the murderer that she just tried to get to prison, but he's 6 4. So she's like, come in, baby. And he looks at her and he's. He doesn't know. But then the cops go to check in on her because she was like, I'm gonna, like, I could get killed right now. And they know her name. So they go, caroline. And then he. And he's like, receptive. He goes, how did they know your name?

[Hannah]

Oh my God, how are these. The dumbest cops in America did not

[Caroline]

protect her at all. Like, that's mostly what you get from the documentary is how, like, this woman put her life in line and like, it really ruined her life.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

But then during COVID she can't tell anyone her story because the cops told her she can't. So she's like losing her mind alone. He's out by the farm. I think something happened. But basically she's like, he's the only person I could, like, be myself with. So she moves back in with him.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God, that's insane. I've stayed for some crazy ass things. Okay. And she. I am not one to talk, but he.

[Caroline]

Well, you know what? Oh, so this is what happens. He finds out she was the one who told. And yeah, obviously she thinks that he's gonna kill her. And he comes up to her and he cries and he goes, I shouldn't have put you in that position. And like, I'm so sorry. And like, you did what you had to do. So then she's like, I'm in love with you again. Because she's like, he's honest. He understands me. He sees me and he took four. So. And they're cute together. So then you're like, who am I rooting for ultimately? I'll let you guys watch the end. But they.

[Hannah]

No, come on.

[Caroline]

He goes like, 12 years and he's still in jail.

[Hannah]

12 years.

[Caroline]

I know. It should have been more. But they weren't able to prove that the guy was alive when he first hit him.

[Hannah]

So it's more like a hit and run.

[Caroline]

Yeah. So she. But she's. She went. Her life was ruined from it just from meeting this tall guy on Tinder. So just like, watch out in these streets.

[Hannah]

Oh, my God.

[Caroline]

And don't drunk drive. He love bombed her. But, like, he was so nice. Yeah. And stuff.

[Hannah]

And probably just like, was a different person out. Like, they lie and change their personality.

[Caroline]

You know what it is? It gives that friend that, like, is horrible to other people. But they've never been mean to you. You still hang out with them and you hear all these stories and people warn you, and you're like, but they're literally nice to me.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And then when they fucking do something crazy, you're like, why didn't I listen? But you're like, because they were being nice to me.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

And that's. See the signs. See this? It's.

[Hannah]

But also, when was this? What year was this? Like, during COVID Wow. So not that long ago.

[Caroline]

Also. Oh, also, I forgot to tell you. She's a doctor, okay? She's not a dummy. She's a full doctor.

[Hannah]

Okay?

[Caroline]

And that's why the police also were like, she's not a vulnerable victim. She's smart. And it's like, just because she's smart.

[Hannah]

Right.

[Caroline]

Doesn't mean she's not vulnerable against.

[Hannah]

Right.

[Caroline]

Like, he's still 64 alcoholic. Which look, a 64 alcoholic. We've all dabbled.

[Hannah]

If I had a. God damn.

[Caroline]

When an alcoholic has a crush on you. Oh, he. He chases your ass.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

He can't see the voicemails you get.

[Hannah]

He thinks you have a twin. Okay.

[Caroline]

And her job.

[Hannah]

One time, I was dating this guy and he was an alcoholic, and he would, like, try and convince me that he wasn't an alcohol alcoholic. And one time we, like, went out or something.

[Caroline]

The way to know if you're an alcoholic is if you have to try to explain someone why you're not an alcoholic. Continue.

[Hannah]

He tried to tell me that someone roofied him. I was like, babe, it was you. He's like, no, I'm telling you, like, they got it out for me. I'm like, no one slipped something in your eight drinks that you had that

[Caroline]

you made for yourself.

[Hannah]

But honestly, in the moment, I was like, oh, man, it's crazy. Who.

[Caroline]

Also, look, he'd be jealous. I'm like, why did my boyfriend get Rufe to not me? Because he's lying. During college roofie, like, I was really scared about everyone getting roofied. Yeah.

[Hannah]

I got roofied twice in my adult life.

[Caroline]

Oh, my God.

[Hannah]

And my most recent time, I was probably 26. I think was. Was the last time it was like a Halloween party. I don't think someone intentionally tried to roofie me. I actually think.

[Caroline]

Which is a great sit.

[Hannah]

Because I'm like, now I'm picturing the guy who's probably like, I didn't want Paige to drink it. Who the cares? I think it was intended for someone else because I grabbed the wrong drink.

[Caroline]

With your long Fingers. But also.

[Hannah]

So I kind of, like, did it to myself.

[Caroline]

No, stop.

[Hannah]

No, I didn't. But when you get roofied, it hits like a meat instantly. Like, I think I. And the only reason I knew is because it was my first drink.

[Caroline]

So there's a nail polish out there that you can dip into drinks, and it turns a different color if there's a roofie in it.

[Hannah]

That's nice.

[Caroline]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And those girls made that, like, cup hold. Like, they made, like a. Looks like a hair tie that you can, like, put over your drink.

[Caroline]

Also, there's a new camera that these girls invented that's in your beret. No, not beret. It's a hair clip.

[Hannah]

Obsessed.

[Caroline]

In my beret. Hair clip. So if you wear a hair clip, it films so you can, like, get content, whatever. But also it can, like, protect you in a night out. That would be funny, though. I mean, not funny, but if you wake up, you're like, what'd I do last night? And then you just watch it with your friends. You're like, that was crazy.

[Hannah]

See, in my head, I'm like, you get your boyfriend this new gift, and you're like, wear this out every night because you're Russia. Yeah, because I'm crazy. But it's fun sometimes.

[Caroline]

It is. It is. I got the mango pineapple dunkin refresher. It's so refreshing for a Monday after drinking the night before.

[Hannah]

Oh, my gosh. This is your first uncover refresher. I got a berry acai refresher, and it's just like, my new personality recently. I think it is my favorite flavor.

[Caroline]

You love that color purple.

[Hannah]

Well, I think it's my aura. Is that your word? No, it's pink.

[Caroline]

But, like, yeah, maybe it's. Maybe this one has changed.

[Hannah]

This on a Monday.

[Caroline]

No, pink. You could be pink. Purple.

[Hannah]

I'm pink.

[Caroline]

I'll have to DM Michaela and just be like, hated pages or a change. She's been acting kind of off lately.

[Hannah]

She's crimping her hair. Things are crazy.

[Caroline]

Also, do I look tan? Okay, never mind.

[Hannah]

Not like particular.

[Caroline]

Like, I did, actually. I'm sunburned.

[Hannah]

Like, laid out.

[Caroline]

I'm actually quite pink.

[Hannah]

Yeah, no, you're not tan. But it'll turn in, like, three days when we come back to do Friday's episode.

[Caroline]

Everyone look. Oh, also, we're going to LA this week.

[Hannah]

Oh, yeah.

[Caroline]

We're leaving Wednesday.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Caroline]

For the Netflix is a joke. I have gotten a lot of messages being like, we can't wait for the Giggly Squad show. And I'm like, just letting you guys know it is an interview show.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

For the first time ever, we're interviewing people live.

[Hannah]

Important people.

[Caroline]

Very important. We've written it out. We hope that it goes.

[Hannah]

Netflix was like, hey, guys, what do you want to name your show? And we were like, hey, what show? And they're like, when you interview Kate Hudson, Mindy Kaling, and Brenda, this isn't an interview show. And Hannah goes, how about just like giggly squad interviews important people? And they go, we love it. And I was like, hollywood is a joke. Hollywood is a literal joke.

[Caroline]

They go, perfect. Incredible.

[Hannah]

They're like, wow, that's so artsy.

[Caroline]

But I also love that they're like, these girls never interview people. This will be perfect. So I've been talking to gigglers. I'm like, this isn't normal giggling squad. Like, we're not, like, throwing rocks at men. We have to, like, ask professional, important women questions.

[Hannah]

Mindy Kaling's gonna.

[Caroline]

Mindy. I mean, Mindy Kaling, Kate Hudson. Also, Brenda Song has been everywhere on my feed. She, like, really knows sports.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Caroline]

Have you seen her, like, yelling at everything? So it'll be iconic. I don't know what I'm wearing yet.

[Hannah]

Me neither. I'm deciding today I'm wearing.

[Caroline]

But us in LA is a different animal.

[Hannah]

I know, but we're not staying that long, which probably good. Yeah, we could stay the weekend though. No, but we have cats.

[Caroline]

We do have cats. We have a family. We love you guys so much for giggling with us. Thank you, Duncan, for sponsoring the episode. And we'll talk to you guys later. Bye.

[Hannah]

Okay, wait, have you ever had one of those moments where you're like, I should be doing something fun tonight, and then you just don't because you don't have what you need? Because same. But recently I've been trying to be more of a yes person. And honestly, Amazon prime has been enabling that energy. Like the other night, I randomly decided I was going to host a last minute girls night. No planning, no groceries, nothing. And instead of spiraling, I just ordered everything I needed and got it that day. Snacks, drinks, even, like, random hosting things I absolutely didn't need. But emotionally, I did. And suddenly it went from maybe next time to yes, tonight. That's what I love. Prime's same day delivery makes it so you can say yes before the moment slips away. Because let's be real, the only thing worse than a bad plan is a plan you never make happen.

[Caroline]

Same day delivery. It's on Prime. Available in select areas terms apply. So if you're trying to be more spontaneous or just less chaotic, go to Amazon.com prime to find millions of items delivered fast. You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions, and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings by $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary.