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Codependency & People Pleasing | Girls Gone Bible - Girls Gone Bible | Wave AI Podcast Notes

Codependency & People Pleasing | Girls Gone Bible

Fri Jun 20 2025

Hiiii GGB! This week we’re diving into codependency & people pleasing, and how these patterns can show up in our relationships. We’re unpacking what it really means to live for an audience of One, why setting boundaries is biblical, and...

Summary

Podcast Summary: Codependency & People Pleasing | Girls Gone Bible

Release Date: June 20, 2025
Hosts: Angela Halili and Arielle Reitsma
Platform: Girls Gone Bible

In the insightful episode titled "Codependency & People Pleasing," Angela Halili and Arielle Reitsma delve deep into the intricate dynamics of codependency and the pervasive habit of people pleasing. This episode offers a heartfelt exploration of their personal struggles, cultural influences, and the spiritual journey towards healing and self-discovery.

Opening Conversation ([02:06] - [05:08])

Angela and Arielle kick off the episode by sharing anecdotes from their recent experiences promoting their book, Out of the Wilderness: A 31-Day Devotional. Arielle reflects on the overwhelming positive response, highlighting how listeners have found solace and breakthroughs through their devotionals. Angela reminisces about past episodes, emphasizing the close-knit bond they share with their audience, whom they lovingly refer to as "aunties."

Notable Quote:
Arielle shares, “We just show people into what we’re going through and what He’s teaching us. It’s so cool.” ([02:30])

Travel Mishaps and Light-Hearted Moments ([05:08] - [10:34])

The hosts recount a humorous yet challenging trip to Atlanta and Nashville, detailing their misadventures such as missing their flight due to Arielle’s love for snacks and subsequent panic during turbulence. These stories not only provide levity but also subtly hint at deeper anxieties related to their main topic.

Notable Quote:
Arielle admits, “I have a suffocating need for people to like me. I have a debilitating need for the audience to like me.” ([10:35])

Understanding Codependency and People Pleasing ([17:44] - [37:04])

Angela and Arielle delve into the core of codependency, discussing how seeking validation and approval from others undermines self-worth. They reflect on their cultural backgrounds, particularly Arielle’s Albanian heritage, and how it has shaped their tendencies to prioritize others' needs over their own. The conversation highlights the roots of codependency in dysfunctional family environments, where emotional manipulation and lack of boundaries are prevalent.

Notable Quote:
Arielle states, “I have to be the type of person that can handle those things. And that means healing. And Jesus heals, but He heals when we look at things.” ([20:10])

Personal Journeys and Spiritual Healing ([37:04] - [58:39])

Both hosts open up about their ongoing battles with codependency and people pleasing. Angela shares her experience of staying in a relationship that drained her, leading to deeper people-pleasing habits out of fear of abandonment. Arielle discusses her path to healing through counseling, mentorship, and deepening her relationship with Jesus.

Notable Quotes:
Angela reveals, “I have a lot of friends, and I give them everything, but then who am I apart from this?” ([27:45])
Arielle adds, “I choose to allow Him to attack these areas in me because they have to. He wants to remove the foothold that he has in your life when you cut it off and you say, I surrender the right.” ([31:42])

Practical Steps to Overcome Codependency ([61:56] - [70:43])

The hosts provide actionable strategies to break free from codependent behaviors. They emphasize the importance of setting boundaries, practicing saying no with kindness, and prioritizing time with Jesus to reinforce one's identity in Christ rather than in others' approval.

Notable Quotes:
Angela encourages, “One of the most powerful things you'll do on your journey is kindly say no when you want to do something.” ([62:03])
Arielle emphasizes, “We cannot make excuses for not spending time with Jesus if we want even a fighting chance at being healthy.” ([48:14])

Scriptural Insights and Encouragement ([70:43] - [80:48])

Angela and Arielle integrate biblical teachings to reinforce their message, citing scriptures like Galatians 1:10 and Romans 8:15-16 to illustrate the dangers of seeking human approval over divine approval. They urge listeners to embrace their identity in Christ and rely on His strength to overcome the chains of codependency and people pleasing.

Notable Quotes:
Arielle reflects, “Galatians 1:10 says, ‘Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God?’ If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” ([35:22])
Angela shares a personal story, “When you stop making your life about likes... that's when He partners with you and says, ‘Let's get to work.’” ([70:13])

Closing Thoughts and Call to Action ([80:08] - End)

In her final remarks, Arielle extends an invitation to non-Christians to explore a relationship with Jesus, detailing the transformative power of His love and sacrifice. Angela reiterates the importance of not compromising one's values for others and encourages listeners to embrace freedom in Christ.

Notable Quote:
Arielle closes with, “If you're watching this and you want to give your life to Jesus, this might be the best time you could do it because your freedom is on the other side of this prayer.” ([76:23])

Conclusion

This episode of Girls Gone Bible serves as a profound guide for anyone grappling with codependency and the urge to please others. Through personal stories, cultural reflections, and spiritual wisdom, Angela and Arielle offer both empathy and practical advice, encouraging listeners to seek their worth in Christ and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Key Takeaways:

Recognize Codependency: Understand how your sense of self-worth is tied to others' approval.
Set Boundaries: Learn to say no with kindness and prioritize your own needs.
Spiritual Connection: Strengthen your relationship with Jesus through daily devotionals and honest reflection.
Seek Support: Utilize counseling and mentorship to navigate your healing journey.
Embrace Your Identity: Find your worth in Christ rather than in the validation from others.

By addressing these aspects, Angela and Arielle empower listeners to break free from unhealthy patterns and embrace a life of authenticity and spiritual fulfillment.

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Transcript

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Arielle (2:06)

You know, we haven't done the intro probably the last three times. I don't think so. Hi guys, I'm Ang. And I'm R. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We are a faith based podcast where we talk all things spirituality, mental health, relationships, everyday life. You guys, we are going through it every day, every week, learning something about God, learning something about ourselves. And basically this podcast is where we take you guys on, give you an inside look on our journey in life with faith with Jesus. And we tell you guys what he's teaching us, what he's doing in our lives. And my gosh, I will never get over the fact that Jesus gave us the opportunity to be on Girls Gone Bible and do this every single week, where we just, like, let people into what we're going through and, like, what he's teaching us. It's so cool. It's the coolest thing for people who don't have community, which you have to get community, and you have to get plugged into a local church. It's one of the most important things that you can do, truly getting planted and plugged into a church and like, being in a church family. But for a lot of people, like, I didn't have community for a long time, and I know I definitely relied on podcasts a lot. And so, yeah, we're just so grateful that we get to do this.

Angela (15:02)

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Arielle (20:22)

Yeah, So I have been like. So every morning in my quiet time, I literally sit and I open my hands and I don't intercede. I don't fight in the spirit for other people. I do that like, in a separate time. You know, I. I've like made my secret place with Jesus. Sometimes I'll intercede and sometimes, like, I'll go hard. But for the most part, my secret place is just like allowing God to come in and do a work in me. And then I'll have a separate time to intercede for other people so I don't get them too mixed up because I need to receive as much as I need to fight for other people. And sometimes I can just fight for other and forget that I need to be loved first. And so I will literally just allow God to take me on a journey in my secret place of like, why am I feeling the way that I am? Why am I going through this? And so what I've. Especially the last six months of my life, really the last year, but very intensely the last six months of my life, I've come to realize that I am a raging codependent, like, raging people pleaser. I look so much to other people for approval and validation and. Yeah, so much of my identity is in my friendships, my relationships, and I think something that I've. Yeah. And I'll speak to codependency. I know Ari and I have had a very similar upbringing in a lot of ways, and I'm sure a lot of you guys do, too, where codependency is basically bred in environment where either somebody's mentally ill or somebody has addiction, and everybody in the house kind of tiptoes around that person. You learn at a young age to manage somebody else's emotions. Like, you read people and you're kind. You're just, like, at the mercy of their emotions. Like, what are they going through? Are they having a good day? We're all afraid of, like, this person or multiple people having an outburst or something going wrong. And it's just a really dysfunctional way of growing up. And, like, my upbringing. So Albanians are, like, so much of, like, my life is cultural. So much of, like, how I am and why I am and the things I deal with is because of the culture that I grew up in. So Albanians are kind of like. I mean, I love being Albanians so much. Like, you guys. You guys know, I love being Albanian. And, of course, like, every culture, like, every place, like, every type of people, like, there are weaknesses and there are strengths. And I think Albanians, and not just Albanians, like Eastern Europeans and foreign people in general, the beautiful thing about them is that they're so close. Like, they're all, like. They're so loyal. They're so close. And, like, my problems are your problems. Your problems are my problems. Oh, you need somewhere to stay? I'll take you in at my own expense. And it's beautiful. And then I think as you get older, you realize, like, it's not the healthiest thing in the world always. And I used to love how we were until I realized it actually has caused so much chaos in my life because I don't have boundaries. And.

Arielle (24:05)

Healthy American families, I see they, like. They, like, protect children. They're like, don't talk about this in front of the kids. Don't fight about this in front of the kids. Like, you protect the kids because they have the resources to know that everything they do affects them, whereas I Think in foreign families, specifically, like, immigrant families, where they're just simply trying to survive. No offense, but they don't have time or the resources to think about gentle parenting. And is this going to affect them when they're older? So I think maybe kids of my generation, especially immigrant kids, like, a family affair was always, like, the kids are involved. And I feel like growing up, I was treated as an adult from a really young age, which has so many pros. Right. It makes you mature, it makes you strong. Like, everything that I am that's good is because of my mom, like, period. And I think, you know, I'm like a kid, and I'm getting led into conversations that cause you to worry about things that you shouldn't worry about when you're a child. And I think a lot of people who are listening and a lot of us, like, say your fam. Parents are getting a divorce. Like, as children, sometimes we're led into that when we shouldn't be. Or, like, we're led into our families or our parents marital issues. We're let into people's fights, or there's a sibling or a family member that's mentally ill or addicted. And now everybody hovers around one person, and it's just not a healthy environment where everybody has, like, autonomy over their own selves, you know? Yeah. And so that caused me. And, like, I'm obsessed with my mom, and I love her so much. And I've, like, I remember being so young and being protective over her like a child and being like, I need to protect my mom. I need to save my mom. And obviously, that's so unhealthy. And it created, like, a savior complex in me for. From a really young age. And, like, Ari knows this. The second that I see somebody in trouble or hurting or whatever, I literally think that I am the one who's supposed to save them. Like, I make myself Jesus in people's lives, and, like, I have been so rebuked by God that he's like, you are not God. Stop. You're not their savior. It's not good for you, and it's not good for them. But I grew up like, like being needed at a young age. Like, people needed me. People relied on me. They tugged on me. So now, if I'm being honest, like, I don't even know how to be in a friendship or in a relationship where people don't need me. Like, I, I, I rely. My validation comes from being needed. And I've, like. And it's hard to admit because it's weird. And I'm still working through it, but, like, I thrive when people need me. And then the second that they don't need me, though, like, where's my worth? Wow. Am I. Am I. Do I have value apart from somebody needing me? Do I have value just as Angela in somebody's life? And so that's what I'm working through for the past, like, six months of, like, I really, really depend on other people. I really depend on the people that I don't have. Like, I have a lot of friends. Ari knows this. I'm like a. I have my people, and then I give them everything, but then I give them everything, and then I'm like, okay, but then who am I apart from this?

Arielle (27:53)

Honestly, I. I've started counseling. Counseling has been good. My mentor, Dana, is my life. Having somebody who's older and seasoned and incredibly wise who, like, can I be honest, guys? I think what's been pivotal in my life is that I just tell the truth. I think we all, as people, like, we can't help it, but we say things in a way, it's shame. Shame is like masking you want to mask. Even when you're supposed to be honest, you still express things in a way that. That kind of makes you look. I don't know. It just. I've gotten to a place where I'm like, okay, I have to be so honest about everything, about every impurity, about every struggle that I have, because that's the only way that I'm going to heal. And so I've been spending. I spend so much time talking to a mentor who walks me through things and tells me things that I really don't want to hear. For example, like, one time, I remember she told me, like, what did she say? Something like. She just made me, like, recognize the insecurity in me that if I am not pulled on and tugged on, I actually don't believe that I have value apart from that. And. And I spend every day, you guys, almost every single day in the secret place with Jesus. And I choose to allow him to attack these areas in me because they have to. He. Because it's not working. It's just not. I've realized, like, I have a suffocating need for people to like me. I have a debilitating need for the audience to like me, you know? And so I can say all day long, don't fear man, but fear God. Your identity is in Christ. Alone, you don't need approval from anybody except Jesus. We live for an audience of one. But at what point does that go from here to here? Truly, that's beautiful. And I have to be honest that like, I feel like just the fear of God has hit me so much recently where I'm like, okay, I tell people every week, identity in Christ alone. Identity in Christ alone. My identity is not in Christ alone. My identity is in me as Ari's best friend. Friend. Truthfully, my identity is me in Girls Gone Bible. My identity is me as John's girlfriend. My identity is me as the savior of my family. And like, you know what I mean? Like, there's so many, there's so many things that, yeah, we'll talk about identity later, but it's even that of just getting so honest, of being like, I'm saying these things, but they're not even, they're not fully true. They're not true yet. And Right. We never get to a place of complete perfection where you never have your identity. Like it's. You're going to be 85 and in process. But it's about being honest and recognizing and not continuing to live with this behavior. And I think like even, right. Having a savior complex or being a people pleaser and being even codependent, like, there's benefits to those things. There are. Because it does make you a good friend. It does make you there for people. So I think I've been able to justify for a long time like, this makes me a good person though even like with disordered eating. There's benefits to having an eating disorder. It makes you look good. Like, you know what I mean? Wow.

Angela (37:12)

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Angela (44:27)

And on my journey of people pleasing, I've realized that it definitely comes from my childhood. And I just think about my journey, you know, even in my last relationship of staying too long, completely, completely abandoning my needs. You know, I was in a. You know, I was in a relationship for almost four years, and I was suffering so internally because I knew what I needed and I was completely just abandoning what was right. And so I knew what I needed. But I kept compromising, thinking I was being sacrificial, when really I. I was betraying myself. And so I learned so much from that relationship of just staying longer and being like, okay, but he. But he needs time. And. And then I ended up getting heartbroken because I betrayed my needs and compromised to the point of pleasing somebody else and completely forgetting about what I needed. And so that was the start of my journey of people pleasing. But I think because. Because of the trauma I faced from that heartbreak, my people pleasing got so much worse because of that abandonment of him just leaving and never hearing from him again. I. Then I feel like my people pleasing became so just Yeah, I think my level of abandonment issues went to another level. And when I get into a fight with someone, I start going into panic mode. And oftentimes I'll be like, it's okay. Like, don't worry about it. When really I'm like, no, I'm suffering inside, but for the sake, to please the other person, a friend or a family member, I'll be like, no, no, no, it's okay. Don't worry about it. About it. But really, I'm suffering inside. So I sacrifice my needs a lot of the time. And so I think I. I, like, I do things like I'll say sorry, I'll dwell. Like, if I get into a fight with someone, I will over apologize. I struggle to say no a lot of the times. And then something else that I'm going through right now too, is like validation from other others. Validation. Like, we went through this this weekend. Where did I say enough? Did I do enough? So I'm have. As I was studying for this this week, I was thinking back on our week in Nashville and Atlanta, and I was like, I am constantly being. Did I do enough? Am I enough? I used to think it's because I just struggle so much in my mind. Like, why do I feel so stupid all the time? Why am I. Did I do the right thing? But it' I'm trying to please others. So I noticed that during our week, we were so exhausted, we kept going, going, going. Like, we didn't stop. And yeah, I just realized how crucial it is to spend that time in the morning.

Arielle (48:14)

Thank you for saying that. Two things I want to hit from what you said. One about people being mad at you. But first, since you just brought that up, you guys, it is so heavy on my heart. And I'm talking to me. I'm talking to Ari. I'm talking to Jesse, our producer. I'm talking to every single one of you. You. We have to stop justifying not spending time with Jesus. We have to stop making excuses. We have to stop thinking that, like, oh, it's okay, I spent time last night or I spent time yesterday. I have never felt more of an urgency for myself and for you guys that you. We cannot make excuses for not spending time with Jesus. If we want even a fighting Chance at being healthy and breaking codependency and breaking people pleasing and breaking all these things, or even just living a normal life where we're not run by our emotions. We have to spend time with Jesus. I told John recently, I literally was like, why did I stop? I. I had a season where I was spending two hours a day with Jesus, sometimes less. Right. And every day can be different. It's not like a religious thing where you have whatever, although it should be something that's like non negotiable. There are some things like that that you can make it non negotiable. But I stopped doing that because I literally believed a lie. I don't know, I just, I started to think, like, oh, please. Like, it's like, you're fine. It's insane. You're fine. He's with you. If you spend five minutes, which, yes, is the truth. But if I want to be the absolute best version of myself, not just for myself, but for everyone around me, two hours with Jesus. Jesus is my sweet spot. It is. I leave to. And we're in ministry. So, yes, it is a little bit more intense for us. Of course, there's a level of pouring out for us that we have to match in the secret place. Like, have to. But even for you guys, like, yes, if you spend five minutes with Jesus, yes, if you spend, you know, 30 minutes in the Word, yes, that's great. But what if you gave him more more and like, really sought Jesus and really said, like, I'm not leaving until you give me everything that I need. I don't even know what I need, but you do, so just give it to me. What are the things I feel like we're working through right now? Lord, give me wisdom to even know what to pray for and let him come and do something in you in an extended amount of time with him. Like, like Ari said, thank you so much for saying that, guys. We have to spend more time with Jesus. It's not religious. It's not too much much. We have to spend more time with Jesus.

Angela (58:39)

Don't do it. Let them go. Because Jesus stays and he will provide friendships and a partner and somebody so much better for you go on this journey of what am I lowering myself down to to fit into somebody else's box? We chose function health because it's simply the best in the world for testing. It's an all in one health platform that gives you access to over a hundred advanced lab tests, which is 55 times more than the average physical. It looks at your entire body, focuses on key biomarkers and helps you stay in the know not just when something's wrong, but so you can really own your health. It's used and trusted by experts like Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Andrew Huberman and Dr. Casey Means, and it's available nationwide. Kicking off the Summer Function is sharing their Long Live campaign. Long Live is a celebration of the everyday moments that make life worth staying healthy for. For me, this means Long Live choosing hab habits that serve me Long Live More time with loved ones and long life. Just feeling better overall because those little moments are the reason we take our health seriously in the first place. In the spirit of Long Live and taking control of your health, get $100 credit towards your annual membership at www.functionhealth.com GGP. This $100 credit is only for the first thousand listeners. Sign up at www.functionhealth.com ggb so I love my morning coffee, but I did not know how it was making me feel. The crash, the jitters, the blow. I was wired when tired and honestly kind of puffy, but I didn't want to give up the ritual. It's how I start my day in my quiet time, my prayer, my peace. That's when I found Everyday Dose, a coffee with benefits. It's 100% Arabic coffee, but they've blended it with functional mushrooms like lion's mane and chaga, collagen and nootropics. So now I still get that cozy coffee flavor I love, but with clean, sustained energy that doesn't leave me crashing two hours later. Everyday Dose also supports focus, brain health and consistency with collagen. So it's been great for my skin, my hair and my joints. And it's super easy on the stomach. No acidity, no bloat. I personally drink the coffee plus Bold because it's rich, it's smooth and it gives me the energy I need without the side effects of I used to expect from my old coffee habit. Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30 servings of coffee plus coffee or Bold plus you'll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and a gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com ggb or entering GGB at checkout. You'll also get free gifts throughout the year. That's everydaydose.com GGB for 45% off your first order. A couple of tips to break free from people ple you guys can write these in your notes. Is practicing saying no with kindness? We don't always have to be yes people. You know where that we're. We're compromising our values. Pause. Think about it. It's okay to say no.

Arielle (63:06)

There has been nothing more pivotal and transform transformational in my life than hanging out with Christian people who don't people please. And who are healthy because you are so confronted by your own unhealthiness when you get around them and you're like, all right, why isn't everybody else as intense and annoying as I am? And like, thank you so much. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Like, you know what I mean? It like confronts you when people are just like, oh, thank you. And they're like so secure in themselves. And you're like, well, why aren't you trying to make sure that I'm like so okay? I'm trying to make sure that you're so okay. And they're like, because it's. You're not my problem. To make sure that you're okay. You're God's problem to make sure that you're okay. Yeah, you know, and I just, I'll read a little bit for people pleasing. So Galatians 1:10 says. And right. These are things, you guys, that we have to like come from here, here into your heart. And you know how that happens. You invite the Holy Spirit and you say holy Spirit, I invite you to take this head knowledge, this knowing scripture in my mind to actually receiving a heart level revelation, a spirit level revelation where this becomes truth in my life. And I, I not only know it, I not only believe it, but I actually walk it out every day. Day. Yeah. Galatians 1:10 says, Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. And then I love this moment. And it's John 19, verse 12 to 16. Pilot basically is faced with this dilemma where he knew Jesus was innocent. He actually, we can read it. And he actually says to them like this man is innocent. I'm letting him go. I'm not going to kill him. Because he didn't. I believe that he didn't do anything wrong. Wrong. Pilate in his heart of hearts knew that Jesus should not go to the cross. And the reason why Jesus went to the cross, other than it being the Father's will, is that Pilate gave in to peer pressure, people pleasing and approval and validation from other people. And he was more concerned at the expense of justice, at the expense of integrity. He compromised so the cross crowd would approve of the decision that he made. And you see right here it says from then on Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jewish leaders kept shouting. And then finally Pilate handed him over to them to. And then finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified. So he feared losing favor and political power than even doing what was right. And I feel like so, so often so many of us fear something that absolutely compromises our integrity in order to People please. And I'm just so. I'm just tired of it and I'm, I'm done with it. And it's hard. It's been one of the hardest journeys I've ever had to go on. You know how many things I've beaten and overcome and done? This is because it is so deeply rooted in the fibers of my being. I am a codependent people pleaser who wants to save other people and I want other people to like me. And does anybody else experience this where like you all like you always think people are mad at you. It obviously comes from our childhood. Usually it's if we, if you grow up in a family of like a blame culture where everybody blames each other, nobody really takes accountability, but it's always your fault, your fault, your fault. Or it's like sabotaging self blame. You see your parents, oh fine, I guess I'm just the worst parent in the world. Like, it just, it's so unhealthy and it creates so much dysfunction in you. And so what I've had to do is really be like, okay, is everybody mad at me or am I just being paranoid? Or am I just. Is this historical trauma? Is it not even this moment that is the problem, but it's something from either a couple years ago or even my childhood. Is it the abandonment from my dad? Like, is it him not being around? Is it him not wanting, wanting us that has now caused me to think that everybody will leave so easily? Is it, is it that dynamic in my life that has made me feel like I'm so disposable, you know what I mean? And so that's what I face a lot is like I genuinely believe that I am disposable and Jesus is going to heal that. I'm not going to live with that anymore. It's, it's done, the party's over, Satan is exposed. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm inviting Jesus in and I'm giving him access because that's what it is. You have to give full access to Jesus into your heart and then you can't go back on it. I feel like the second you begin to justify again why you are the way you are and I'm going to keep doing this and I've always been this way, you immediately close your yourself off to Jesus coming and doing a work in you. It has to be a full surrender, full humility and you have to meet him in partner and be like, I want to be healed from this. Do what you need to do.

Arielle (70:43)

So good. It's so good. You can't, you can't be double minded, you can't want both. And that's what I've started to realize. And everything that we're saying sounds so good until you really let it be born inside of you and let it grow and let it actually take over your life. Ari and I touched a little earlier on identity, like we say every time, identity in Christ alone. Okay, so what does that mean? That I just truly believe that like the practical steps in actually letting your identity be in Jesus alone is one being in counsel, one in the secret place, seeking God, waiting for him to come worshiping your face off, letting him be everything for you and to you. And do you know how you do that? You spend more time in the secret place. The more time you spend with Jesus, the more time you want to spend with Jesus, period. Your appetite will grow the more you like feed on the Word and Worship and God's presence. But like, what I've realized, how to get it out of your head and into your heart part is like, you have to be aware of yourself, you have to be honest of yourself with yourself. You have to have accountability. You have to have people walking with you. I have a few people walking with me through this, who are my accountability people who I come to and I say, hey, I think I'm slipping up in this. I'm looking for validation. I'm, I've put my identity here, I'm doing this. And then they, and they. But like, you have to ask for these things, you have to, you have to pursue these things. You have to look for them. You have to look for the right people to be on your team who are not going to tell you what you want to hear and who are wise enough to push you towards Jesus. And for me, what I've learned, the identity thing, I'm just not. It's like an everyday moment by moment awareness, like, oh, there I did it again. I've realized, okay, if I'm feeling this like, insecurity and this sadness and this heartbreak and this paranoia and this guilt, like I have what Ari has, where if somebody's mad at me, it literally ruins me. Like, I, I can't stand, I want to, I crawl out of my skin. I also can't sleep, I can't focus, I can't pray, I can't do anything when somebody's disappointed in me. That's not normal, that's not healthy. Healthy people are okay with people being a little disappointed in them because they don't have a small version of themselves who are blamed and accused. And you know what I mean? That's what it all comes down to. So what I would encourage you guys to, to do is like moment by moment, every day, realize when that insecurity comes up, when that fear, that abandonment, when those things come up, you have to address it in the moment and you can't keep shoving it down and just pushing through. That's what I did for so long and it's not working anymore. And I love this scripture so much. Romans 8, 15, 16. The spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, abba. Father, the Spirit himself testifies that we are God's children. And it's every day abiding in the truth of your identity as being God's child who loves you more than anything and who literally got up on a cross 2,000 years ago, gave up his life to let you Have a life on earth that is worth living a life of freedom. Jesus gave himself for you so that we could be given to God so that we could be recognized before the Father. And like, what I love doing every day is I say, this has changed my life, Lord. I surrender the right to blank. You completely leave Satan like he. He cannot. He can't do it anymore. You remove the foothold that he has in your life when you cut it off and you say, I surrender the right. I surrender the right to be offended. That's one that I say every day because Lilange has a little offense in her and she wants to get offended and wants to get mad and she wants to get this and she wants to be validated and she wants to have her point proven. But I surrender the right to be offended. I won't even allow my. I don't. I'm not even going to allow myself to feel entitled to be offended. I surrender the right to be validated. I surrender the right to have approval from others. I surrender the right to be needed by this person. Whatever your weakness is, surrender it. Surrender the right. We, you know that the spiritual realm, it's a legal system. You give things rights in your life. When you allow them to happen, they become strongholds and you give them the right. I. I surrender the right to be heartbroken about this anymore. Like, literally like anything, whatever you have, surrender the right. It's not mine anymore, you know, that is so good.

Arielle (76:36)

Yeah. And we just want to invite you guys right now if you watching this and you made it to the end of this episode. We love you so much. If you made it to the end, write Gigi be gang in the comments so we know who the real ones are. But yeah, if you're watching right now and you're not a Christian or you've never given your life to Jesus, this might all be so new to you and maybe you don't even know fully like what we're saying, or you don't really know who Jesus is. I'll just give you the simple gospel. It's is that at one point in history, we were completely severed in our relationship to God because of Adam and Eve. I'm sure you know who they are. They fell, they sinned. We were meant to live in perfect harmony. We were meant to be healthy people. We were meant to be completely whole. But because sin entered the world, we have sin reigning in our bodies. We have sin reigning in the world. And it's that sin that causes this dysfunction function, this unhealth, this codependence, this people pleasing. And if you're watching this right now and you know that you are bound by people pleasing, you are bound by codependency, you are bound by sin. And you know that you're not living free. So if you're watching this and you want to give your life to the man and the God, one person, man and God in one body who gave up his life on a cross, Jesus had to pay the penalty for our sins. And through his salvation sacrifice, like we were separated from God, he brought us back to God. We were enemies of God. And now we're friends of God. And you today you can be God's friend and you can have Jesus, the Holy Spirit, who is the Spirit of God living inside of you. And when the Holy Spirit lives inside of you, he empowers you to overcome and he heals you, he heals your mind, he heals your codependence, he heals your issues. It is a life worth living. And not even just life on earth. Then you get to live in eternity with Jesus. You get to live in heaven for the rest of your life. So you guys can pray this prayer with us. And if you're ready to give your life to Jesus, this is the best time you could do it because your freedom is on the other side of this prayer. Your freedom is on the other side of a relationship with the God who formed you, who created created you, who gave you life, who gave up his life for you. So pray this with us. Dear Jesus, I give you my life. I believe you died on the cross. For the forgiveness of my sins. You were buried, you resurrected. And now you are seated at the right hand of the Father and you are reigning in glory. Jesus, you are Lord. I invite you to be Lord of my life. I invite you to be Lord of my heart. I invite you to be Lord of my body. And I invite you to be Lord of my relationships. I renounce sin. I renounce the devil. I renounce the world. I give up my old ways and I give my life to you completely. Fill me with your Holy Spirit. Teach me how to love you and teach me how to know you. In Jesus name, Amen. We love you guys so much. Go be healthy. Go be healthy. Come on, let's do it together.