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Ari
Foreign have you guys ever been in a relationship and you kept having unwanted doubts like do I love them enough? Am I really happy? What if God has someone better for me? And those questions felt impossible to ignore. And suddenly you're repeatedly praying for certainty or signs, constantly comparing your relationship to others, asking friends what they think over and over again, but you can't find peace no matter what you try. Unwanted relationship doubts can feel so real and scary. But here's what's important to know. Thoughts like these can be a sign of Relationship ocd. Unlike these stereotypes about being organized, real OCD is a serious condition that can latch onto anything we care about. Relationship OCD creates this never ending loop of doubt and anxiety followed by behaviors you do to try to feel better, but the relief never lasts. But OCD doesn't have to take over your relationships because it's highly treatable with a type of specialized therapy called Exposure and Response Prevention or erp. And that's why I want to tell you about nocd. NO NO CD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed Therapists special in ERP. Therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes support between sessions. Their therapists are extensively trained, deeply understanding and ready to help you reclaim your relationships. If any of this sounds like you or someone you care about, visit nocd.com and book a 15 minute free call to learn more about how NOCD can help. That's nocd.com foreign
Ange
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Ari
I have to say this because I've been reaching for these nonstop lately. The Chocolate Peanut Butter IQ Bar it really is so good. Like it doesn't even taste like one of those healthy bars that you feel like you have to force yourself to eat. Tastes like a tree.
Ange
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Ari
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Ange
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Ari
Okay, well, here we are. Well, how do we explain this one? Ang? You know what?
Ange
Let's start out by saying, it's not a rerun. It's not an old episode. Don't get scared. Everything's okay. What can we say? We missed the honeycomb.
Ari
Well, I know what I can say. What? I just didn't like the pink curtain. I couldn't do it. I'm like, we're going back until we figure this thing out. Yeah, you're on this ride with us.
Ange
Guys, guys, listen.
Ari
This is just home.
Ange
The first.
Ari
What do you guys think?
Ange
Okay. No. My favorite thing that has ever happened. Truly the funniest thing. I want you guys to know that the humor in GGB Gang is everything. I've said it a thousand times, and I'll keep saying it. Someone had commented, first of all, it was the Holy Week video, which I really hope that everybody focused more on Holy Week than the set. But someone commented and was like, whoa. I didn't know we had so many interior designers in GGB Gang. Literally, everybody was commenting and being like, well, I think you could do this. Well, just change. The scent is pink. Well, just. And I was like, I had the time of my life reading those comments, being like, these are people there. Like, you guys are in the studio with us. It just made me feel so loved that everybody cared so much.
Ari
But you're so right. That sign was awful.
Ange
My mom, okay, we all know my Eastern European mommy. She's outspoken.
Ari
I don't know.
Ange
She's outspoken and she hates the, like, literally. I'll be like, mom, what do you think about the episode? I hate the sign. That's not what I asked. What did you think about Holy Week? I hate the side.
Ari
Okay, Christina, who puts red with pink? What were we thinking?
Ange
Listen, dude, we're just trying to figure it out.
Ari
Figure it out.
Ange
It's not even about the set. It's about you guys and us and Jesus. Like, listen, we're going to have a beautiful set. Another thing, I don't know if you feel this way. I struggle with change so much. Like, we're trying to, like, rebrand and ch. Like, it's been three years. We should have had a rebrand a long time ago. I struggle. Like, even our banner of Even our original photo with me in the Bible and you like pop star Britney Spears.
Ari
I love it.
Ange
I don't want. I'm, like, sad to change it.
Ari
But why, like, fix what's not broken? Is that the first of all?
Ange
Yes. Great point.
Ari
Right? I just, like, love everything, dude.
Ange
Don't fix with it. Don't fix it if it ain't broken.
Ari
Why are we gonna change that photo? That was like, I literally thought I was Britney Spears in that photo. What exactly was I doing?
Ange
What we did change was originally, you could see a little bit of my stomach because back then we did modesty, but then we did modesty, updated.
Ari
We didn't know what we were talking about back then, to be honest, sanctification.
Ange
And then we edited it to cover my stomach, which is, praise God, because ain't nobody need a mid drift.
Ari
It is so wild what God called us to. He was like, I didn't call you guys as preachers. I called you to do this journey so everybody can see where you start and where you will end up.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
And everyone can go on this with you. Like, everyone who's sitting here right now being like, beating themselves up of perfectionism. I want you to go watch some of our earlier episodes. This was God's whole point of doing this so he would. You don't have to condemn yourself.
Ange
It's literally. I always describe it as. It's like. If you watch GGB first episode. What is it, like 150 episodes now? If you watch from our first episode, our testimonies video, to now, it's like a. It's like a master class on sanctification and what the whole, like the work of the spirit that transforms you from the inside out. I always say, like, even down to the look in our eyes is so different. And the humility and just the. The wisdom, the sanctificate like, the purity. The purity.
Ari
I didn't even. It was so crazy.
Ange
We've grown so much. Praise God.
Ari
But, yeah.
Ange
So anyways, we'll be. We'll be in here for a little bit. We'll see. Listen, you guys are on the ride with us. Don't fix what ain't broken. We're going to. We're going to have our. I. I love you, Honeycomb.
Ari
And I love you, Thomas.
Ange
We love Tommy. Freaking Tommy. We have so much to talk about today before we get the episode. I just feel like you just got a haircut, Slay.
Ari
Thanks.
Ange
You look absolutely beautiful.
Ari
Sometimes all you need is a haircut. Do you guys ever just feel a little bit like you're not feeling like yourself?
Ange
Well, yes.
Ari
I was feeling like that for a hot minute. And honestly, as a woman, it sucks to feel like that.
Ange
Yeah, I.
Ari
And then when somebody tries to throw at you, you're fearfully, wonderfully made. I'm like, I get it. I don't feel good. No, no. Sometimes those hormones be hormoning and you just don't feel like yourself. Don't want to leave the house.
Ange
100%, Ari and I just spent a week. I was in Florida with my family for nine days, which was a gift, but also longer than I anticipated. There's something about being at home, back home with your family that makes you feel like the age in which you left. So for me, that's about 18, but I feel like even younger. When I'm with my family, I don't know what happens. Do you feel the same way? Yeah. Make me. Yeah. Like, my mom cleans up after me. Like, I literally won't pick up anything. And I know that's disrespectful, but she's my Albanian mom, and she loves cleaning.
Ari
She loves it, though.
Ange
Oh. My mom's favorite pastime, her favorite thing in the world is to see me leave something, like, not in its place, and, like, clean it up for me. It just makes her so happy. So I went to Florida for Easter, and then Ari came on Tuesday. And we didn't tell you guys, but we had one of the greatest honors and privileges of our lives. And we got to speak to the students at Jesus Image, and you guys know what Jesus Image means to us. You guys know what the Kulianos mean to me personally. Michael's teachings have truly, actually changed my life and my everything, everything. Who I am in ministry, who I am as a disciple, who I am as a person, like, has been shaped, formed, and fashioned through Michael Kulianos teachings and Ari and I got to speak to the students and it was a glorious day.
Ari
The greatest honor of our lives. I had to keep pitching myself. I was like, oh, my gosh, this can't be. Like, are we really get the honor to do this?
Ange
It was unbelievable. I just want to take them though a little bit, like, behind the scenes of some things that happen. Like, so the time difference between LA and Florida is huge. It's only three hours, but it feels big. It took me. I like, never. I was there for nine days. I never recovered from the time difference.
Ari
Well, clearly, like, I was up at 8 and you literally flipped out on me.
Ange
No, you know what? If you want to go there, if you want to go there, you are an emotional terrorist in the mornings. I just want to tell you, I really do. I want to say that. Have you ever heard of a slow morning? Have you ever heard of, like, just relax in the morning? You are a bat out of hell.
Ari
I heard your voice this morning, by the way. I. I got up like a bat out of hell. Like, and then I was like, slow, slow. I like, what is that? What would you call that? I have so much anxiety.
Ange
I don't know.
Ari
I just have so much energy in the morning.
Ange
No, it's really special. And I'm the opposite. I am like a slow morning person. I don't like to talk.
Ari
You're a nightmare. And you have that face mask on and.
Ange
Okay, that sleepy face mask thing saves my life.
Ari
You have to wash that, by the way.
Ange
Okay, that's insulting. Who does want that thing? Okay, I used. I used the medicube face mask thing and I wore it, so I turned it around so it wasn't dirty, but I wasn't home for all that time to wash it.
Ari
No one will ever quite understand what a morning with me and her. It's like stepbrothers. Like, watch the movie of stepbrothers. That's actually her and I in. In real life form.
Ange
No, actually, I wake up about two hours later than you. You're already up in the morning. You've already done a whole day. I'm like, chill out. And then I wake up and you're like. And I call from across the house. I go, ari, can you make me a coffee? Guys, my. I don't ask for much in life. The only thing that I want is to be brought coffee in bed. Like, when I'm married. I just have one request. I'll do everything else. Will you please just bring me coffee in bed?
Ari
I make A phenomenal coffee.
Ange
Phenomenal coffee.
Ari
I mean, you can't beat my coffees in the morning.
Ange
Whole thing. Ari comes. So I never recovered from the time difference. I'm already there for like six days at that point. Ari. We're speaking on Wednesday morning. Me and Ari stay at Michael and Jessica Julianos, the Jesus Image new church property. And it's like a holy. Beautiful. Like it's just like the veil is thin. Like it's the thin space. Like, literally when I had quiet time, I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm in. He's here. It was beautiful. But that night, Ari comes in on the Tuesday night and. And you're like wired, because for you it's like midnight in Florida, but It's only like 9pm for you. We're both nervous. I mean, it's like the most full circle moment of our lives. To speak at Jesus Image. The next day, we're both so nervous and he. You're in my bed with me. And then I go, what happened? What happened? And then so we're like, we're like both a little wired. And then it becomes like 2am and we're still up and we're both a little bit wired. And then we're so out of it and it's the time difference and we're both like, even more nervous because we're like, we have to go to sleep, but we can't fall asleep. What are we going to do? Then we get on this kick where we're like, oh, we're going to go to Greek Orthodoxy.
Ari
Greek Orthodox teacher.
Ange
And you were excited, honestly.
Ari
Yeah. And let's. Let's get those veils.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
All I want to do is wear a veil over my head. I. I like think it's the most beautiful thing ever. I want to be like Mother Mary.
Ange
It really is.
Ari
We.
Ange
I've been wanting. I wanted to go to Greek Orthodox service for Easter so badly because I've just. I watch videos on TikTok and it's beautiful. And then so Ari is like, okay, so we need to get veils. And I'm like, absolutely. So then we're on Amazon looking at veils to buy and we don't even like, know what we're doing at that point. And then you go, okay, okay, enough.
Ari
I just thought you're like, snapped out of it. And I was just like, what are we talking? We gotta get off this thing. They were like these weird Amazon veils. And then I started picturing us with the veils on getting.
Ange
So we get scared so anyways, we ended up not going to Greek Orthodoxy or getting veils. We go to Jesus Image the next day. And truly one of the most glorious days. It couldn't have been like, it just couldn't have been better. The Lord was there. He spoke. The beautiful, beautiful girls, all the students that we spoke to were just precious and amazing and it was such a gift. And like, we truly don't take those things lightly at all. At all.
Ari
There's nothing like sitting in a room with other women.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
And just like that sisterhood of like talking about real raw, hard stuff.
Ange
And so we had like probably like three hours almost total of doing ministry. And there's something about ministry. Like, there's an aspect of ministry. Like, it's spiritual, it's emotional, and then it's also physical. Like there's like an endurance aspect of live, like in person ministry, being on a stage, speaking to people. And like, Ari and I have had like four months off of tour and which has been so amazing because we've been resting, but we also haven't been in front of people in a while. So like, you have to learn to like, get that endurance back up. So we were like, toast after the three hours. Toast, fried.
Ari
Starving.
Ange
Starving. So then we drive from Orlando to my mom's house and it's Chick fil A. It's like an hour and a half drive. We stop at Chick fil A.
Ari
Sauce all over the side of my lips.
Ange
Sauce everywhere.
Ari
Like, didn't chew it. I inhaled it.
Ange
No, actually, like we were silent eating our chick fil A sandwiches.
Ari
I. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't know where I was.
Ange
No, that was the best moment. That is the best mom. It was everything.
Ari
Did you eat the fry?
Ange
Yes.
Ari
You had a Coke, right? It's nothing like swishing the coke on the chicken.
Ange
It's a bite of the sandwich, bite of the fry. Coke Zero. Guys, this is the funniest part of everything, truly. So my mom had like a. You guys know my mom, die hard, Catholic and also like incredibly Pentecostal, charismatic, word of faith, like casting out demons, praying for healing, all the things. Like, she's one of the most well rounded Christians I know. And we get to my house and my mom had like a, like a friend, like a man of God friend at there. And my brother was there. And we walk in and like when you're toast like that after doing ministry, like, you don't really want to do anything spiritual again. Like you just want to veg out and relax. And we walk in My mom, I. We walk in. My mom is there. She's so excited. I'm like, dude, I have to match her energy right now. This is gonna be hard. And then the man of God is there. And then I look, and I'm like, oh, my dad's here. What's my dad doing here? And then my brother's there, too. And then we walk in. She's so excited to see Ari. My mom and Ari's relationship is like something truly out of a movie. They're the same in so many ways. They're best friends. And then my mom comes up to us, and she goes, guys, sit down. We're learning how to cast out demons.
Ari
And I was like, okay, let's cast him out.
Ange
I'm like, okay, let's cast him out. We sit down. I'm looking at Ari. Ari's looking at me. We're all praying, but me and Ari are laughing uncontrollably because it's like out of a movie.
Ari
And then we. Yeah, we just trying to cast out demons.
Ange
And then we're casting out demons. And then everybody leaves. And my mom mentions demons again. And I look at her and I go, mom, I love you so much. I can't hear from you.
Ari
I don't want to hear about demons for three days.
Ange
For three days.
Ari
And us with the. And then she ever. When we go to bed, she gives us these, like, oversized. I have the same pants every time I. We go to Florida.
Ange
Yeah, they're Christmas pajamas.
Ari
They're like, oversized Christmas pajamas. It's epic. And I'm, like, floating in them, and we just look like rat bags. And I look at you, and I'm like, who.
Ange
Like, who are we? And then. Oh, this is the kicker. So a lot of you don't know. Ari is, like, best friends with my oldest brother. Like, they're literally best friends.
Ari
No, he's. He's. He's my best friend.
Ange
You're the only person he likes.
Ari
He is my best friend. I think he is actually half of my heart.
Ange
He loves you more than he loves anybody else. He's more excited to see you than he's ever been to see me, and that's totally okay.
Ari
And then he's got the qualities of my father, which is so crazy. So I just feel like. I don't know. He's. We have such a special relationship. It really is so special.
Ange
I really do. My brother Neris, he's an angel. I love him so much.
Ari
The purest heart. The purest heart.
Ange
And then his son Adam was Coming for the weekend. And Ari and I were supposed to leave the next day. And so. And I, like, I love. I'm obsessed with my family. I really wanted to be back in my house, in my bed, in California. I'd already been there for almost a week. Somehow, some way, Ari gets us suckered in to staying longer. So we extend our trip, and then we extend our trip, and then we extend our trip and we were just like vibing with the fam for a few days.
Ari
I got to spend time with my brother. Yeah, my brother lives in Tampa. It was the first time everyone thought it was my boyfriend. Like, guys, it's my, my brother. They're like, yeah, not your real brother. I'm like, it's my biological brother. But he's like kind of the opposite of me. And it was the first time we really got to. To spend one on one time together. And we were so funny. I'm so proud of him. He has this company called Nutrition Solutions. He, like, helps people and he transforms them, transforms their life, making, like meals. And he's just like a health freak. And he actually taught me a lot this past week. But it was really nice to be with him.
Ange
And he's so proud of you. It's the sweetest dynamic. He's so proud of his little sister.
Ari
Yeah. And it's just like, I don't know, as you get older, you just, you have to make time for your family, you know? You really do. So I'm really trying. Okay, guys, spring is here and I don't know about you guys, but we've been talking a lot about getting outside more. I need to go on more walks, maybe even planning a little trip. The last thing I want is to feel off or uncomfortable when I'm trying to enjoy it. That's actually why I've been really consistent with taking my ritual symbiotic plaque us. I've always known probiotics are important, but what I love about this one is that it's not just a probiotic. It's a three in one with pre, pro and postbiotics and all in one capsule, which makes it so simple to stay consistent. And it's just one capsule a day. It's minty, super easy to take. And honestly, I really trust ritual as a brand. I love that their products are vegan, GMO free, and tested for heavy metals and allergens. It just makes me feel good about what I'm putting into my body. Also, probiotics only stay in your gut for a short time, so being consistent really matters and this just makes it so easy to keep up with. So if you're trying to feel more supported going into this season and not let your gut get in the way of your plans, support a balanced gut microbiome with ritual symbiotic plus save 25% off your first month at ritual.com ggb that's ritual.com ggb for 25% off your first month
Ange
girls gone Bible is proud to be sponsored by Grand Canyon University, an affordable, private, nonprofit Christian university based in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. They say higher education is outdated, irrelevant. GCU doesn't settle for the status quo, they shatter it. Grand Canyon University is one of the largest universities in the country. At gcu, academically rigorous, industry driven programs are built to move at the speed of relevance with practical skills, career readiness, and opportunity for every learner. As of December 2025, GCU offered 380 programs overall, including 153 degree programs, 180 emphasis, and 56 certificate programs. GCU believes education shouldn't be a privilege, but an affordable path forward for all. Grounded in Christian truth, GCU works to empower the next generation to lead with integrity, serve with purpose, and help transform their communities, building a future that matters. GCU is Purpose Driven Education. Take action. Find your purpose at gcu Private Christian affordable nonprofit. Visit gcu Edu to learn more. More. Okay guys, I don't have my nails done today, but I do feel like there's just something about having your nails done that makes you feel more put together always, even if everything else is a little chaotic. And we used to always think that we had to go to the salon for that, but truly I'm being so honest right now, I can't give up my time to go to the nail salon. So we're so excited to talk about doing your nails at home with Olive and June. It's actually so easy, you guys. Their mani system literally comes with everything you need for a salon quality manicure in just one box. Like all the tools and you can customize it with your own polishing colors.
Ari
And I'm not even kidding, you guys. It actually lasts. Like my nails used to chip so fast when I did them myself and now they last seven days or more, which is crazy.
Ange
Also, it breaks down to like $2amanicure, which compared to the salon is pretty wild. And we honestly don't want to go to the nail salon. We don't want to book an appointment, drive there, sit there. Now you can just do your nails at home on your own time like watching a show or hanging out or even watching ggb.
Ari
They also have press ons that look so real, and they literally take minutes, which I love, for when I don't feel like doing a full set. It just feels like one of those small things that actually makes a difference in how you feel. So if you want to try it, visit oliveinjune.com GGB for 20% off your first system. That's O L I V E A N D J-U N E.com GGB for 20 percent off your first system trying to just to. We've just always lived in different cities, so it's hard. But it was really nice, though.
Ange
Those people who are like, yeah, I see my family, like, once a year. I'm like, my mom would kill me if I only. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, Making time for families. Family is everything.
Ari
Everything. And I'm gonna say this, this episode, I, at some point, am going to baptize my brother, and he's gonna give his life to Jesus.
Ange
Yep, you are.
Ari
I'm saying that today, Prophesy girl. I am going to baptize my brother, and he's gonna give his life to Jesus. I love that I've made it every single morning in my prayer time.
Ange
Thank you.
Ari
Jesus fervently praying for my brother that he will get saved in a radical way. Wow. I see God. It's, like, so funny. It's, like, right there.
Ange
Oh, he's so close, and he's so open, and he sees the way you live your life and what Jesus has done in your life. The greatest witness. You don't even have to say anything. Your life, your life specifically is just the most massive billboard of, like, look what Jesus can do. Look who you can become. It speaks for itself.
Ari
Thank you. I need to start wearing my bows again.
Ange
Yeah. Where'd your bow go?
Ari
I just haven't been. I know. That's my thing. I miss my bows.
Ange
I know, but your hair has been down. Hi, I'm Ange.
Ari
And I'm Ari. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We love Jesus with all of our hearts. He has completely saved our lives. If you're here and you may feel inadequate, you don't have to feel that way here because we talk about all the hard stuff. We've been through everything and more. And so we talk about mental health and relationships and heartbreak, and we always point it back to Jesus. So we always say, come as you are. Just don't stay that way. Hi.
Ange
All right. We are so excited to get into the Word today, I think we're going to be going through, like, a series, probably jumping around the gospel, but, like, just like taking you guys through different parables. The life of Jesus. What are we talking about today?
Ari
Are we are talking about the cost of being a disciple? And I'm really excited to read this today. This is so personal for us. This has been our lives, the sanctification process. And I just love. And we're going to start Luke 14, verse 25. The cost of being a disciple. And I just love this passage because he does not sugarcoat what it means to follow him.
Ange
Yeah, he doesn't.
Ari
We need to hear it. Yeah, he doesn't sugarcoat it. It costs to follow him. It costs something. It costs your life. But with losing your life, you find everything with Jesus.
Ange
Yeah. I heard this pastor talk about this specific passage in this way, and I loved it so much. He. You know those commercials that you see of people, like, the medications, and it's like, take this medication to fix X, Y and Z, and then this medication can lead to, like, gut destruction, like, all of these side effects, like suicidal thoughts and death. And like, literally, you know when a commercial. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Ari
Like the medication commercials.
Ange
Yeah. Like, where they have, like, they like, say what the medication is. It's like a beautiful commercial. And then it's like, very quickly they tell you the side effects and. And it's like, can lead to massive diarrhea, dying. Yeah. Suicidal thoughts and even death. And it goes, like, really fast. And it's like the fine print that they don't want you to hear. They only want you to hear, like, the beaut part of it so that it sells. This pastor that I was listening to is talking about in this passage, like, the Lord never speaks in fine print. He never speaks in a way that's like being a disciple. Everything's going to be perfect and you're gonna have to lose your life. No. He's like, hey, I want you to know what you're getting into. I want you to know that this is serious. I'm actually asking you to analyze. Count the cost and see if this is something that you really want for your life.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
And I think what we're dealing with in the church a lot, obviously, is this idea that, like, being a Christian gives you this amazing, perfect life that's full of blessing and prosperity. And while there is blessing and prosperity, there's a. A major, major Christ.
Ari
Philip Mitchell. I was listening to Philip Mitchell, too, and he said, Something. And he was like, the more I. He was talking about the cost of being a disciple. And he's like, the more I live, I die. The more I die, I grow. And I was like, yeah, unbelievable. Really good, Philli.
Ange
So we're going to read Luke 14, starting at verse 25. We're in the NLT version. A large crowd was following Jesus this. He turned around and said to them, if you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else. Your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.
Ari
But don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money. And then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, there's the person who started that building and couldn't afford to finish it.
Ange
Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? And if he can't, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own. Salt is good for seasoning, but if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand God. I pray in the name of Jesus that every single one of us listening would have the ears to hear and understand. Because we can read these words, Lord, and still never receive what you're trying to say.
Ari
So let's start off with the first line, because I love this. If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else. Your father, your mother, your wife, or your children. Why does he say that? Because what is on the throne of our hearts, whatever we love most, influences and shapes our lives. So what he's saying is, if anything becomes more important than me, it will eventually shape the decisions of your life. That's why Jesus always has to be on the throne of our hearts. That's why he does not even tolerate idols. So when you read that, it can be jarring at first. I remember when I first became a Christian. I was like, I must hate my mother and father in comparison. Yes, because loving Jesus will shape every single decision of your life. And that's why I'm so grateful he has taken me on the sanctification process of completely purging every single idol out of my life. Because nothing comes before Jesus. And in order to fully be a disciple and follow him, he has to be at the forefront of our hearts.
Ange
Yeah, he does. Really quick, I want to talk about that language that he uses. If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison, hate everyone else. Your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters. Yes, even your own life. That can be really shocking language to some people, and it can be confusing. I remember when I first read it, I was like, this is intense and actually doesn't sound like Jesus. He literally says, honor your mother and father, love your enemies, love your neighbors. Like he never. God doesn't sew division and he doesn't sew hate. But this is. This is what I looked up. Does Jesus literally mean hate your family? No. He's using a Hebrew way of speaking called hyperbole, which is like intentional exaggeration for emphasis. And in that culture, hate often meant love less or put in second place. And so Jesus isn't commanding, like, emotional hatred. He's literally just putting into perspective and calling us to radical priority. He doesn't actually want you to hate people, but what he's saying is everything, including your father and mother, including your wife and children, should be second place. It's not about actually hating people. It's about making sure that Jesus is first and that everything else, including the people that God calls you to love, they're still second place. Even your own children, you'll never truly
Ari
follow him if he doesn't come first in your life. Because whoever is on the throne of your heart, heart will shape your decisions that you make always. That is what I've learned. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.
Ange
I really like this because it's not just. There's so much symbolism in this. Like, obviously, we know that Jesus carried his cross, but the reason why Jesus, before he ever carried his own cross, is telling the people he's speaking to that you must carry your own cross. Basically, what would happen during that time, Jesus audience who he was speaking to, was very well aware of what it meant to carry a cross. Like when the Romans would execute people and bring them to crucifixion, every single person would have to carry their own cross up. So the people that he was speaking to are aware of the situation. Like it's an actual Thing where people have to carry their own cross. What I think is really interesting about this is the word anyone. In another translation it says, anyone who does not carry their own cross and follow Jesus, they can't be their disciple. And I feel like there's like people think that there are tears in Christianity. Like you can either be a kind of Christian or a super Christian or a Christian like me and Ari, where we speak on stages and on a podcast and, and we teach from the Bible. That's like a different tier. Or pastors, they're like super Christian, so everything applies to them. When you te the word scripture says you are held to a higher standard. Yes. But it literally says in scripture, anyone who wants to be a disciple has to carry their cross. So every. Everything that Jesus is talking about, he's talking to every single person who wants to. You can't kind of be a disciple. You have to go all in completely. And I think that's what we get wrong a lot is people think that they can just kind of love Jesus or add Jesus to their life lives. It doesn't work. I thought that.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
For a long time. And it doesn't work like that.
Ari
Yeah, yeah. A life half committed is not a life committed at all.
Ange
True.
Ari
I always say that. And I too learned that.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
You know, having one foot in and one foot out is not following Jesus. And so carrying your cross, it's daily. It's not occasional, it's daily. It's surrendering when it hurts. It's learning to be comfortable in the uncomfortability. It has been so uncomfortable for me this past three years having to pick up my cross every day. You want to know what picking up my cross has looked like for me? The surrender. And this is such a good exercise for you guys to do. I will put my hands out and I will be like, I take it. Like, take it. I am having thoughts. I can't let go. I keep looking back. Take it. I am making an idol out of marriage again. Take it. I can't stop thinking about this person. Take it. I'm feeling stuck, angry, bitter. I have pride. Take it. Like I literally, I put my hands out like this and I imagine Jesus just taking it, taking the burden off of me, taking it from my hands. And sometimes that looks like when I do that, tears are coming down my eyes. Sometimes it looks like 10 times a day that I do that. But this is what surrender looks like. It has having your hands open, constant partnership with God of surrender, of being on your hands and knees, of communing with him of being like, take this from me. It's been difficult. Yeah, surrender hurts. It's not easy. Killing the flesh is not easy. Wringing out the pride and the jealousy and all these things and unwiring your brain of things that I have been accustomed to since I was a kid, and it's not been easy. That's been really hard. But, yeah, that's what carrying your cross looks like.
Ange
There's something. I am like, I. I love that we're having this conversation because I feel like we want people to be comfortable so badly, and we. I even see this in my own life sometimes where I'm, like, talking to a friend who is, like, either an unbeliever or half believer. And, like, I'm always walking this tension of, like, how far do I go? How extreme do I make this? How int. Like. Like, it's. It's something as believers and evangelists and disciples that we have to walk this really interesting tension because we're like, we don't want to lose people, right? We don't want people to be turned off to Jesus. But we also are called to tell the complete truth. The complete truth that Jesus isn't just a genie in a bottle. Jesus isn't just a best friend. Jesus is the Lord who died for our sins, which means that if he died for our sins, we must also give up the thing that he died for. And I think it's so important for people to know that. Like, it's like. I think it's also. It's like, for anybody who's walking this walk, and there's no shame in it. If you're literally watching this right now and you're like, I'm, like, lukewarm. Like, my heart's not on fire. I'm. I really am half in and half out. I just want you to know that, like, we've been there. There have been moments in our three years of being on this walk where things have happened that have also put our fire out. Like, literally, this is. This is a journey that we will be going on forever. It is the fight of our lives to keep oil in our lamps and to keep the flame in our hearts blazing for Jesus. It's not a passive thing. And what I want to say is, like, the difference between being a believer and a disciple, I feel like when people ask you, like, are you a Christian? Or sometimes I ask people, like, are you a believer? Are you a believer? A lot of people believe, but there's a massive difference between being a believer and being A disciple? Yeah, a disciple is somebody who. Who follows Jesus. Jesus said, if you love me, obey my commandments. Like, there is a life that you're meant to live and a life that you're not meant to live as a.
Ari
Okay, wait. I actually want to share this with you guys because it's been really sweet for me lately. We've been talking so much about staying connected to Jesus throughout the day. Not just in the morning or at night, but, like, in the middle of everything. And I found these Yappy braces bracelets. And at first I thought they were just really cute, simple jewelry, but they're actually so much more than that. You can literally just tap it with your phone and it pulls up a Bible verse. No app, nothing complicated, just tap. And I love that because there's so many moments in my day where I feel overwhelmed or distracted or just off. And it's just such an easy way to come back to scripture without having to stop everything. It's also such a thoughtful gift. Whether someone is new in their faith or they've been walking with God for a long time, it's just a really simple, intentional way to stay rooted in his word. It honestly just feels like something you carry with you, not just something you check off for the day. We're obsessed. Listeners can go to yappy bracelets.com GGB for 15% off their entire order.
Ange
All right, GGB, we have a confession that we have to make. We, our moms pay our phone bills up until this point, and we've decided that it might be time to grow up and pay our own phone bill.
Ari
I don't want to.
Ange
Me neither. But I think it's time, don't you? I guess so, as we are now searching through phone company. I don't even really know what they're called. We came by someone really important, Mint Mobile. And now this is really stressful because when you get into the nitty gritty of cell phone networks, you realize that there are random fees, free perks that somehow weren't actually free and just like overpaying because it felt like that's how it's supposed to be. And that's why we love Mint Mobile so much.
Ari
If you guys are looking for a wireless plan, it's exactly what you should use because you're getting the same kind of quality service just without overpaying for plans. Start at $15 a month, which is honestly kind of wild compared to what most people are used to paying. We wouldn't know, but that's what I hear.
Ange
You still get high speed data, unlimited talk and text, all on the nation's largest 5G network, just without all the extra stuff that you don't need. And honestly, switching is so simple. You can keep your phone, keep your number, activate with ESIM in minutes, no long term contracts, no hassle. It just makes sense. Especially if you're trying to be more intentional about where your money is going.
Ari
If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at min mobile mint mobile.com ggb that's mintmobile.com ggb upfront payment of $45 for three month five gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month new customer offer for first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details.
Ange
This episode is brought to you by Glorify, the number one Christian daily devotional app. Someone asked us recently how we stay connected to God throughout the day. And honestly, Glorify will be so helpful for you guys because it's not just about having hours set aside, it's about having moments. And I love that when you open the app, there's always something there that meets you where you are a devotional, a Bible passage, something that just brings you back in the middle of your day. You can read a daily devotional that will remind you to just slow down and come back to God in the middle of everything. And I feel like that's all we need. Life gets so crazy, you guys.
Ari
It's also just really practical. You can start your morning morning with scripture, spend a few minutes in a devotional, and end your day with their sleep meditations. And if you're having a really busy day, you can step away for a few minutes, do a guided meditation, or just listen to worship. It just creates a space for God in a really real, doable way. Whether you've been walking with Jesus for years or you're just starting your faith journey, it really makes it easy to draw closer to Him.
Ange
Listeners to GGB can get full access to Glorify for just 29.99 for the entire year. That's Glorify's lowest price ever. When you download the Glorify app now at glorify d app.com cgb get full access all year for just 29.99@glorify d app.com cgb that's glorify d app.com ggb disciple whereas as a believer, the devil believes in Jesus, Muslims believe in Jesus, even atheists believe in the existence of Jesus. You know, there's a Massive difference between believing in. You can even believe. I believed in the Bible. Bible. I loved the Bible. I encountered Jesus through the Bible.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
And I still wasn't a true disciple because there were so many things that I'd be like. I'd read and be like, that is so awesome for other people. Saving yourself for marriage, that's great for them.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
I'm just going to skip over to the parts that I like for myself.
Ari
For you.
Ange
The shift for me was, like, really following.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
People.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
People, People, people, people. I was being convicted. I. There was a long time. I mean, I talk about this all the time. Time. But sin is blinding. Sin is this weird. Like, g. I wish. I hope when we get to heaven that God will show us, like. Like a picture of, like, what sin is because we can't see it. But, like, spiritually, what sin does is put these blinders on your eyes and it perverts truth and it hardens your heart. And so, like, because I was still having sex outside of marriage, I was swearing I was. There's a lot more to sin than just that, by the way. I had impurity in my heart. I had so much. Pride was the root of almost all of my issues, something that we face every single day. That is a daily, daily death to pride and to arrogance into all the things. But because I had so much behavioral sin, I was so blind that I was saved. I believed in Jesus. I love Jesus. I knew I had the Holy Spirit inside of me. And some people are. Are able to lay down sin through conviction, and that's amazing. And there was some things that I was being convicted on, but I was just too prideful and I was too blind. And it took people.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
We've told the story. Literally. We meet one Christian who's living in purity and we go, ow. Yeah, that's confronting. So that's why having community is so incredibly important. I. I can tell when talk. Talk about. About salt losing its flavor. I can feel my salt losing its flavor when I'm not around other believers. I know. I feel it. I'm aware. And I feel my saltiness getting saltier when I'm with these on fire believers. Like, it's what Ari was talking about a second ago. Surrender. We need to do a whole episode on Surrender. Because I've had such an interesting journey in life and in my family faith. And what I've learned the most is that, like you said, God doesn't care about. He. He. He is the comforter, but he doesn't care about us being Comfortable. He wants us to be comforted, not comfortable. And he doesn't want us to be comfortable in idolatry.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
Or insecurity in anything outside of him. The scripture, if you, if you try to save your life, you'll lose it. But if you lose your life, then you'll gain it. What would it. Prof. Man, if he gains a whole world but loses his own soul. Yeah. That is like a scripture that we should all tattoo on our hearts to know that as a Christian, as a disciple, the call of God is never, I'm going to keep you so comfortable. It's always, I'm going to bring you into situations that are caught going to cause you to die over and over and over again. The call of God on our lives is not, come, have a perfect life. It is, come and die, die, die, die. And in life, your death, you receive life, you receive resurrected life. There's this quote that I love so much, is it's better to fall on the rock than be crushed by the boulder.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
Humble yourself before the mighty hand of God and he will lift you up in due time. Another quote is stay humble or be humbled. I say all this to say that there have been so many times in my Christian walk where I have humbled myself. I have have seen the idolatry and handled it myself. I have handled it myself with Jesus, but I have seen sin and let the Lord convict me in it and take care of it. And there are some situations that if you don't move, God will move. And so the call of God on our lives is to die continuously to our flesh, to our dreams. You start following Jesus and you, he might call you to give up everything. So there's so many, many moments in our lives and in our walks where the Lord is going to ask you to release things, including a job, including a relationship, because a death to self is one dying intentionally. And then a death to self also comes in something being done that was out of your control and then having to surrender to that reality. And that is one of the hardest things that you, you. That's one of the hardest deaths because you didn't choose that death. And there's so many people who are watching who either have a relationship that ended, a career, a job that was taken from you, a child who is sick. Like, there's so many ways and, and circumstances where God is asking you to die to yourself in that. And it comes in so many different forms. And so when it's a situation that's outside of your situation yourself, you have to ask the Holy Spirit, what are you asking from me in this situation? Because, like, you know when. If you hear the Lord, it's like, end this. Like, leave this job. That's like, it could be. It's probably hard, but it's also exciting. You heard from him. But what do you do when it's a situation that's out of your control? It's something that you haven't. You didn't ask for, you didn't pursue it. Something that I face a lot. One of my biggest struggles ever is control. And I'm like, currently, I'm so grateful to Jesus that there has been, like, an OCD that's awakened in me that I am having to. That I've been battling Jesus. And this is also the Christian walk, by the way. Jesus healed me from OCD when I was younger. I had health anxiety. He healed me, and it's had a resurgence. And I love Jesus Jesus, and I love therapy. I love Jesus way more than I love therapy. He is the great physician, the ultimate healer, and he provides beautiful things like therapy. I've had to pursue many different types of trauma therapy, and I'm gonna also start, like, an OCD treatment. That's another episode. But I say that to say that because of the ocd, obsessive compulsive tendencies that I have. Control is my biggest. This thing.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
And control actively works against any. Any bit of surrender that's in me. How am I supposed to surrender when my brain won't let me? I want to. I can't. You know what I mean? These are, like, moment by moment deaths that I have to face of, like, I'm. This control is coming up in me, and I'm going to choose not to act on it. There was a situation recently. I was talking to somebody and. And I felt the need to control the situation. It's like, it's my biggest thing. I felt the need. My anxiety then causes me to be like, oh, I have to do X, Y and Z to control the situation and make it better. And I have to actively. The Lord never speaks in anxiety and in fear and in this, like, anxiety will have this, like, impulsive, like, push, like he's pushing you through the door. God never speaks like that. He never guides like that. If Jesus is asking you to do something, it comes with peace and not this, like, anxious sense of urgency. And so when I feel that come up, I'm like, I am going to do the opposite of what my control is asking me to do. I'm gonna sit and do nothing.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
And so that's something that's like a daily death for me that I have to face more often than I'd like to admit. It's like a moment by moment surrender. And did any of that make sense?
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
Okay.
Ari
Of course. And I think it's so simple. You literally just devote yourself to Jesus when you wholeheartedly devote yourself to Jesus and get in that uncomfortability. I had to be so comfortable with being uncomfortable in my anxiety, in my fear, in the idolatry in my heart and in the place where I was like. Had to watch everyone around me with the dreams that I thought I. With the dreams that I wanted. And so I'm watching everyone around me get married. I'm in my 30s and I was like, but I want that. And he's like, I have to form you into the woman that you're supposed to be. And that includes death. A lot of it.
Ange
A lot of it.
Ari
So while everyone was getting married and out I was with children. Jesus. And so it's simple. You devote yourself, you sit, you learn the love of Jesus. And when you really learn the love of Jesus, it transforms your heart to say, what have I been doing my whole life? How have I loved anything before? I can't believe I'm getting so beautiful. I can't believe I'm so passionate about this. Because. Because I want you guys to are just like one foot in and one foot out and you can't let go and you're trying to control situations and you're still in that abusive relationship and you want to love Jesus, but your. Your mind. I know what that feels like. I was there. I was there. I know what that feels like to just. You can't let go. You can't. You're just. Your mind is constantly going. And I just like, I remember just praying for a miracle. I remember being. I feel like, please, like, what is it called? Deliver me from this. Yeah, bring me a miracle. I didn't need a miracle. I needed discipline. Yeah, some of you guys are praying for miracles. And what you need is discipline. And it starts with devoting yourself to Jesus. And I have spent three years on my floor learning his teachings and learning his love. And it's. And I'm telling you right now, you're talking to a girl who literally could not be without a person. And if God never brings me, I have desires, I want to get married and I really want to have kids. But he. If he never brought me someone, I would still be okay, because I know what true love is. And I have safety now. I have Jesus. And I want us all to get to that place. And I talk to so many young girls, and they are so stuck, and they can't truly walk with him because they're just. They have. It's. It's idolatry. They have control. They're scared. They. And it's. And just devote yourself wholeheartedly to him. Because when you find. When you find that love that is so anchored and steady, that doesn't leave, leave. Nothing else matters. And that's how you follow him wholeheartedly. When you learn the love of Jesus, and then as you feel safer. Like, we know him as Lord and our Savior, but we need to know him as our Father. Our Father that we can come before and we can cry to and feel bitter to. And like David, he was a mess. He did not hold back. And that will soften our nervous systems to be able to be real with him. And that's how we're like, oh, that's true love. That's my father. I can follow him wholeheartedly. And the more you taste Jesus, the more the world loses its flavor.
Ange
Yep.
Ari
And so it was so hard for me to come from the world where I have lived a certain way my whole life, and then to have to completely get stripped of. Of that.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
And I love that you said, like, sometimes I fall back. Like, I fall back right now. Like, I'm. I follow Jesus, and I know what it's like to be with Jesus, but sometimes I look back, sometimes I. I fall short. Like, I am still walking things out right now. I'm not perfect. And I. I want to. Like, I love that you said that, because I am. I am the most imperfect person. There are things that God wrings out of me every day that I'm still trying to work on. I have pride still. I. We never want to get to the place where we think we're too good. Oh, none of us are righteous. Not one of us. And so every morning, just being like, I want to have your heart today. I want to be humble like you. I want to be kind to others like you are, Lord. Like, I want to be in the likeness of your image. And it's daily to follow him is to detach from this world. And that's really hard. That's been. I know personally for me, that's been really hard for me to rewire what I have been accustomed to to my whole life. But when he says that I've set you apart, I've set you to be distinct. Isn't that so beautiful though, when you think about it? And that's like something I will always say to myself. When my flesh wants to do certain things, I'm like, no, no, I'm set apart. Yeah. I'm not going to cheapen myself and live like that. Cuz the world isn't what we think it is.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
And so the more you follow Jesus, the more you'll see like, this world is. I don't want to be a part of that.
Ange
Like, have you ever missed a caller message and then realized later that it was actually really important? Us literally every day. Like, that feeling of, oh, I should have responded to that.
Ari
That's you.
Ange
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Ange
If with Jesus is not all about sin. Right. That's why we try not to talk about sin every episode. It's not like. But the truth is like, Jesus died for sin and we're called to die to ourselves. And it's so important. Like, I just feel like a distinction of a believer is how seriously we take sin. Yeah. Honestly, like, how much does your heart be break with sin? How much? Like, I was like, I was driving the other day and I started like bawling my eyes out, thinking I just like kept having this like, phrase in my head. Like, I don't Know why? I imagine myself like someone asking me a question of how do you live as a follower of Jesus and not judge other people for their walks? And I just started crying, literally driving in my car. And I kept saying this, like, I am a repentant sinner. I am a repentant sinner. I need Jesus just as much, if not more than everybody else, because there's a world of brokenness inside of me. I'm. I'm whole and healed in the name of Jesus. And there's things that I will be working through my whole life that I have to bring to Jesus. And I. Repentance is such a huge part of our walks with Jesus. This. It's daily, sometimes moment by moment. Repentance of, like, man, I messed it up again. I thought the wrong thing, I reacted in the wrong way. I have to repent again, Lord. I turn from it. And that is one of our crosses to bear, that we don't just get to be comfortable in sin. We don't just get to be comfortable in dysfunction and wrong thought patterns. A major, major, major cross to bear that I think marks a believer is the cross of broken dreams and broken plans. And I think just as much as we have to die to sin, like, we have to die to any and every ideal that we have for our lives. And for me personally, this is the most hard part for me, again with the control. I am so arrogant to think that I know how things should go, that I know what it should look like, that I know the how, what the plan should be down to. Like, the exact. Like I. It is the greatest battle of my life to surrender plans and dreams and how I think things should look like. And so as a believer, guys, this is what is going to mark your life. This is how you know you're a true discipline disciple, where no matter what happens, you are like, this is clearly God. This is clearly where the Lord is calling me. This is clearly where he's calling me out of. This is clearly happening because he's orchestrated it. I will surrender to this reality, even if I hate it, even if I don't want it, because again, God is way more concerned with you looking like His Son than you having a good life truly like the Holy. I've said a million times and I'll never stop saying it, because the ministry of the Holy Spirit, the work of the Spirit, is to conform us into the image of His Son. All the fruit of the Spirit that we would. That our lives would testify by, the fruit that we exhibit. Love, peace, joy, Self control, gentleness, kindness, patience. If you're in a situation, this is even across to bear. If you're in a situation where you have asked God for healing. I think what is frustrating for me in my walk is, is I know that God is all knowing, all powerful, all seeing, all omniscient, omnipotent. All of the things he's. All of the things he can do. He literally spoke, he breathed life into Adam. He spoke the stars into existence. Like, he speaks things into existence like, nothing is off limits for him. Nothing is hard. Could he heal a little broken heart? Could he heal a little mental health?
Ari
Health?
Ange
Could he heal somebody's child when you've been praying for them your whole life? Could he restore a marriage in a moment? Like, could he do all these things at the snap of his fingers? Yes. And that's a really frustrating reality when you're like, so then do it, please, Jesus, I've been asking for a long time, just do. I'm. I don't want this pain. I don't want this idolatry. I don't want this. All the things that I'm dealing with, I'm asking you to take it. And so then you find yourself being like, but he's not, he hasn't changed it. He hasn't taken away the pain he had. So what am I supposed to learn in this? What is he producing in me? Why is this now my cross to bear? And that's, that's, that's a cost that you have to count when you want to give your life to Jesus, that your life is no more in, in a generation and a culture where comfort is everything taking from me. Yeah, I want to be comfortable. I hate being in pain. I hate being stressed. I hate having a bad day. Like, if I could, I run away from pain. I avoid pain. I will do everything in my power to not even feel a negative emotion. And the call of God on my life is to face things head on and let God produce Jesus inside of me. And so if you're in a situation where you're praying and things haven't changed and like, you have to understand coming into this Christian walk that your life is no more about your comfort. It's no more about you being as happy and everything being as perfect as possible. God will send things into your life, circumstances, situations, shake things up, take things away, rock your world to produce and form Jesus within you, you. And that is, that is the count. When he says count the cost, that's the cost. It's not about everything. Being perfect. It's about looking more like Jesus. And another cost that you can count is the fact that your life is no longer your own. It's not just about sin. We could talk about sin all day. You guys know, you know, you know, you know, you know that the cross you have to bear is to crucify your flesh day by day. Lust, pride, lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, pride of life. Like the three main major sins that we find in Genesis 3. Like those. Yes, those are so important. But it's also like the smaller moments of, like, moment by moment. This is what I wanted. It's not what I'm getting. And I will surrender to that reality and I will accept it. And I will still rejoice and be glad in the day that God has given me. And I will still believe that God is faithful. And I will still believe that God is trustworthy and that He. He's good. Even when nothing in my life looks good, he's still good. That is also a cross to bear, the fact that you are called to believe that God is good. Even when things look bad.
Ari
There are moments, and I've said this before, that I meditate.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
On the really bad, painful, distraughtful moments of my walk. And why is it that sometimes I wish I could go back to there? Because that is where I saw the glory of God.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
First Peter, I just thought of this when you were talking about, like, I don't want to be in pain. 1 Peter 1, verse 7. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold, though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. It is without the pain, without the trials, without the heartbreak, without these painful things that we go through. There is a refinement that happens, a transformation that happens in our hearts that just couldn't happen otherwise. And how else would God get the glory? And how else would we have the faith that we. We do? It is only those moments that I've been through that I could not pick my head up off the floor, that I can go back to each one of those moments and say, oh, he was real.
Ange
Yeah.
Ari
Oh, that's why I have faith. Because it was through that. I just.
Ange
And I want to talk to anybody who is feeling discouraged in their faith. I feel led to just tell you that, like the fiery trials that Ari is talking about, they can be really scary.
Ari
Yeah.
Ange
And it can be really discouraging, especially if, you know, sit. You're in a situation where it's been, like, a long standing. Like, it's long suffering you've been enduring for a long time, and there seems to be no movement. And I just. We don't want anybody to feel shame if they're not, like, where they need to be, if their heart's not completely on fire. If you're in a situation where your cross feels too heavy to bear, I want you to know the character of God. And this is an encouragement to myself, too, because guess what? No matter how religious and righteous and strong in my faith, I feel I have faced things where I'm like, I don't know if I'm gonna. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't know what's gonna happen to me. I don't know what's gonna happen to my faith. When we say, may the Lord bless you and keep you, it's not only a blessing over you, it's a promise. God will keep you. You don't have to worry. The cross is not too heavy. He's gonna keep you, and he's gonna see you through. Your only job is to keep showing up and to keep coming back to the basics of reading the word, praying your heart out, praying in the spirit, meditating on God's goodness. Listen, worship out. The last few months of my life, I went through something a little bit difficult. And then the first couple months, I could not bring myself to worship. I could not bring myself to sing. And my thing with Jesus, like, my. Me and him, I. He always gives me a song to sing. I've talked about it before I wake up in the morning, before I even open my eyes. Usually I have, like, a song on my heart. Either a song that someone else wrote or a song that I've written in my heart. And I go. And I don't even play worship music, but I just sing and I sing. And there's a psalm that. A psalm that talks about, like, he's given me this new song to sing. And I am always like, oh, this, like, scripture truly has. It's just my thing with him. He always gives me a song to sing. It's the way that I enter into his presence the easiest. Not by, like, putting on a playlist, but I just. He loves my voice. He wants to hear my. My song that day. The first couple of. Couple of months, I could not sing. I could not worship. There was no song on My heart. I couldn't even bring myself to listen to worship in the car. Like, I don't know. I just could not worship. There was such a block. And it was one of the scariest things I've ever faced because I'm like, okay, so if I don't have this, what the heck do I have? What do I have? And a couple months ago, I just started worshiping again. And like that cliche thing that we say, that worship is your weapon, my heart began to sing again because. And my heart wasn't the first one I physically had to force myself to worship when I didn't want to in my heart and my soul and my spirit followed. And now I sing to Jesus every single morning. And like, literally this morning, in my. In the secret place, I was trying to get to the Word. I didn't have a lot of time. I couldn't stop singing. Singing. I was just singing over and over again, and I was like, I didn't. Every time I opened my eyes, I'd close them again because I'm like, no, no, I want to keep singing to him. It was beautiful. It was glorious. Only because I kept showing up did I get there. And so if you're in a situation where you feel like your heart is not on fire and the cost is too high, listen to me. If he has called you to it, which he has, he will see you through. The cross is not too heavy. It's not too heavy. And if it feels too heavy, you need to get some spiritual, mental mentors, some counselors, some people who are on fire for God to remind you who he is, that he will see you through it. He will. He will keep you. Me, you and Ari and all of us, Thomas, all of us. He will keep us.
Ari
I love that you say that, because one of the greatest gifts God gives us is each other. Yeah. And he will work through people. He will speak through people. He will heal you through people. People. We need people to do this, to be disciples and learners. We need people. So that's been the greatest thing in my walk. I don't know what I would do when I'm. Sometimes when it's so hard, like, it just gets too heavy. Recently, I've been dealing with a lot of heaviness. I told Angel's story, but I was driving in my car. I tend to numb out on my phone sometimes. I tell you guys that all the time. I'm really working on it. I'm really working on not numbing out on my phone because it truly does dull the voice of God.
Ange
Absolutely.
Ari
And it is. That's another thing I'm being disciplined in right now, when my mind and my flesh are telling me to go scroll on my phone, I'm yielding to the Holy Spirit. And I'm not doing that. And I'm sitting, even if it's really uncomfortable. That's actually something I'm really working on
Ange
right now, by the way. That's literally how you kill your flesh, actually. It's not like you actually take your flesh off your body and nail it to something. You literally just do what Ari just said she does.
Ari
You yield to the Holy Spirit.
Ange
You do the opposite of what your anxiety is asking you to do.
Ari
Yeah. And I was just driving in my car. It's. I love when God partners with you and he just speaks through you and he talks to you. It's so cool. It's so cool. But I didn't even know the scripture. And I'm driving, and all of a sudden I say in this, like, very gently, awake, Go sleep, arise again. Let Christ shine on you. And I go, oh, my gosh. I was like, what is that? I pull over, I look up the scripture, and it means you're spiritually dull. You're spiritually dead. Wake up. Let Christ shine on you. I love that I repetitively say that scripture over my. Myself. So not numbing out, having people around you to help you, to pray for you, becoming teachable. Be. Listen all. Why do you think God says you must become like a little child?
Ange
Yeah, I love this.
Ari
Enter into his presence like a child, like a dependent, hungry. You be hungry for him and be humble. What I say in my prayer time, teach me how to sit here. It's. I want to get up, I want to make a coffee, I want to go run errands. I want to be on my phone. I like, teach me. Help me to be patient. Help me to sit here, like, be like a little child. Tell him. Tell your father, starting your day in the morning with him. I think that's probably the most crucial and important thing. How do we start our day without the Lord? I don't know. Get up early. If you have work at whatever, set your alarm. Like these little things that changes the trajectory of your whole day. Start your day in with him, remain in me, and I will remain in you moment by moment, remaining in him, being dependent on him. This is what being a disciple and having relationship with Jesus looks like. And then we're just going to end it with this. To Timothy, be strong through the grace that God gives You in Jesus Christ, you have heard me teach things that had confirmed by many reliable witness. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others. Being a disciple is not just for us, it's for the life of everybody else. It's a ripple effect. Pay the price of being a disciple. It has transformed my family, my friends. Teach them. Go out and make disciples. Be a disciple. Go out and make disciples. Please.
Ange
Yes. One last, literally last thing. What Ari said earlier is so unbelievably important. And I think when we talk about the cost of being a disciple, this is crucial. You have to be teachable and you have to be humble. You cannot go into this thinking you know everything. You cannot go into this thinking that you can't go into this being set in your ways. We will forever have so much to learn and change and heal from. Like it is a. It's just a never ending thing. And whatever ideas that you have in your mind about what life or faith or anything should look like, you have to be open. You have to be open. I see so often people are stuck spiritually because they're just not open and they're not teachable and they think that they know more than everybody else around them and they think that they don't have anything else to, to learn. It's not the case. So be open, be teachable and understand that God is going to send you people who are going to tell you things that sometimes you don't want to hear. And it is so important that you hear it. And the people who are telling you not to sin love you so much more than the ones who are turning a blind eye to it. Truly trust the people in your life who tell you the things you don't want to hear. It's so important. Be careful of. Yes, people listen to the people who don't freely listen. Use wisdom. You, you know, listen to the Holy Spirit. But I just think that's so important, you know? Yeah. My dog. We love you guys so much. Thank you for being here with us. Go and be a disciple. Count the cost. You got this. May the Lord bless you and truly, truly keep you all the days of your life. May He. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you true peace. Shalom. Shalom. Love you.
Hosts: Angela Halili ("Ange") & Arielle Reitsma ("Ari")
Date: April 17, 2026
In this heartfelt and honest episode, Angela and Arielle discuss what it truly means to follow Jesus, focusing on Luke 14:25 and the serious, sometimes uncomfortable, cost of being His disciple. Candidly sharing stories from their own lives—family, ministry, struggles with surrender, and even moments of spiritual burnout—they unpack the differences between being a "believer" and a true "disciple," and offer practical encouragement for listeners facing challenges or discouragement in their faith journey.
Closing Blessing
Ange [Closing]: "Go and be a disciple. Count the cost. You got this. May the Lord bless you and truly, truly keep you all the days of your life… and give you true peace. Shalom. Shalom. Love you."